# #255 How I Twisted My Testicle

An episode of [Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1684076859), 25 Aug 2026, 58 min.

Audio: https://p.podderapp.com/2544644999/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/16e204f8-7e20-441d-9775-b47f001b3998/5af70477-5d3c-4799-b910-b4b1008df850/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=cc3ed8c4-97c9-4810-ace6-b47f001b3db5

This week Ash opens up about something he’s NEVER told anyone and it all stems from this week’s breaking news about testicular pain. It’s got to be heard to be believed! Meanwhile, Matt is getting an early start on the spring clean, trying to offload furniture he’s shocked no one wants to buy… or even take for free. He’s also in the trenches helping the girls with their homework, putting their public-speaking skills to the test. Plus Ash has a hack to give your glow-in-the-dark ooshies a glow-up and something Oscar does in his sleep makes him think he might actually be a good dad after all. And more parenting lies to keep in your back pocket for the week ahead. ______________________________________________________________________________ You can grab a copy of Ash's new book The Secret Ingredient here. If you need a shoulder to cry on: Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: I'm very delirious at the moment. Just tired. You tired me, guy,
[0:05] Speaker 1: very tired? Wait on me, very delirious right now?
[0:08] Speaker 2: What? Why? Why? Just?
[0:10] Speaker 1: I think Sunday was a late one. I keep forgetting things.
[0:13] Speaker 1: It's just too much going on. This is the week
[0:16] Speaker 1: of the business, and I just got to get to
[0:18] Speaker 1: the end of this week. And I'm there, but I'm like,
[0:21] Speaker 1: I wake up the moment and I'm like, I didn't
[0:23] Speaker 1: know what day it was, and I was like, where
[0:25] Speaker 1: am I just frazzled? And then I was like, what's that?
[0:28] Speaker 1: What have we got on today? And then someone in
[0:31] Speaker 1: the chat was like, you got netball? Who's got a
[0:33] Speaker 1: netball practice? And I was just like, what am I doing?
[0:40] Speaker 1: I'm going to just tell people in advance. Sorry for
[0:43] Speaker 1: this episode. All right, Welcome back to two noting dads.
[1:03] Speaker 1: I am Maddie Jay and I'm Ash and this is
[1:05] Speaker 1: a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it
[1:07] Speaker 1: is the bad and relatable. We don't give advice, we don't.
[1:10] Speaker 2: How were you good? I had blood tests this morning.
[1:12] Speaker 2: That's why I'm running a bit behind.
[1:13] Speaker 1: How does that work?
[1:16] Speaker 2: They take blood out of my vein? What I know?
[1:19] Speaker 2: I believe or not.
[1:19] Speaker 1: They just take a little vial that I don't look.
[1:23] Speaker 3: That make me feel sick if I look. And she
[1:26] Speaker 3: was very funny.
[1:27] Speaker 1: Though, the lady was very good, just like, give me
[1:29] Speaker 1: an example.
[1:32] Speaker 3: Just good chemistry. Because I don't like needles.
[1:35] Speaker 2: Even though I'm covering tatoos, I can't stand needles.
[1:38] Speaker 1: So how did she break the eyes? What did she
[1:40] Speaker 1: do to make you feel more comfortable?
[1:41] Speaker 2: She laughed at me first about me saying that she's
[1:44] Speaker 2: like a big strong man and got tattoos, but you
[1:46] Speaker 2: hate needles, And I thought that was funny, and all
[1:48] Speaker 2: of a sudden, that's in and I was like, you
[1:51] Speaker 2: tell me.
[1:52] Speaker 3: She's like, that's why I didn't tell you anyway.
[1:53] Speaker 2: That sort of stuff. So she's obviously very good at
[1:55] Speaker 2: her jobs. I've seen her there before because she did
[1:57] Speaker 2: it last time, right. But she's one of these people
[1:59] Speaker 2: that you can tell that she's like, I do this
[2:01] Speaker 2: every day, and I love doing it.
[2:03] Speaker 1: Just another day in the office.
[2:04] Speaker 2: And I loved that handy little tips she had, you know,
[2:06] Speaker 2: when she released the pressure of that thing and then
[2:09] Speaker 2: put the cotton butt on and then she put the
[2:12] Speaker 2: tightener over that to keep the pressure on while she
[2:14] Speaker 2: went and did the labeling, no time wasted.
[2:16] Speaker 1: When do you get results?
[2:18] Speaker 2: I think a couple of days. We'll see. There was
[2:20] Speaker 2: a lot of I walked in. She was like, whoa.
[2:23] Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know what's wrong.
[2:25] Speaker 1: So your checking just fit everything?
[2:28] Speaker 2: Yeah, something's not right around the plot. So they're checking
[2:31] Speaker 2: for like the full sweet, the full sweet. I went
[2:34] Speaker 2: the platinum package.
[2:35] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[2:35] Speaker 2: I think the one I'm really concerned about the most
[2:38] Speaker 2: is the prostate. Yes, honestly, I feel like I need
[2:41] Speaker 2: to pee right now, but I don't need to really,
[2:43] Speaker 2: I said the other day. I came out of the bathroom,
[2:45] Speaker 2: I'm like, no one takes that long to pee, And
[2:47] Speaker 2: she was like, if I'm honest, wasn't paying his engine?
[2:50] Speaker 2: I was like, how dare you? I could be dying
[2:51] Speaker 2: over here. Next time, tim.
[2:57] Speaker 1: Results will be coming before the next record.
[2:59] Speaker 2: So if if not, it'll be the one after.
[3:02] Speaker 1: Okay, this is like present.
[3:03] Speaker 2: I'm like, what do we get? But it's also kind
[3:05] Speaker 2: of scary.
[3:06] Speaker 3: No, I should be fine.
[3:06] Speaker 2: I should be fine, Like I think, I just just
[3:08] Speaker 2: want to make sure it's safe. I think it's safer
[3:11] Speaker 2: to make sure than to There's a saying there that
[3:13] Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. May I here we go?
[3:16] Speaker 1: It is better the devil? You know? No?
[3:19] Speaker 2: Is that?
[3:20] Speaker 4: What about better to be safe than sorry?
[3:22] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[3:22] Speaker 3: That's probably that's bored to you.
[3:25] Speaker 2: Give me something, give me something to be more zested.
[3:28] Speaker 1: Okay, fine, okay, well fuck you all.
[3:30] Speaker 2: The one you said the other day is that you
[3:32] Speaker 2: better good? Yeah, that's good. You said you better be
[3:34] Speaker 2: looking at it than looking for it.
[3:36] Speaker 4: I just think of the Caylimn Egg song.
[3:38] Speaker 2: What's that?
[3:39] Speaker 1: Better?
[3:39] Speaker 5: You know?
[3:41] Speaker 2: Is that how it really goes? Just?
[3:42] Speaker 1: Can we put in a sample there?
[3:44] Speaker 2: Yes, don't leave it.
[3:46] Speaker 5: I just want to say bravo to you though, for
[3:48] Speaker 5: getting your health checked and staying on top of it,
[3:50] Speaker 5: because that's something that men are not.
[3:51] Speaker 2: Very good at doing. Yeah, I've got a few things
[3:54] Speaker 2: going on in my own. I've got that, I've got
[3:55] Speaker 2: a twelve month check in psychological check in for AHD
[3:59] Speaker 2: because my med's are fucking no good anymore. And what's
[4:03] Speaker 2: about it?
[4:04] Speaker 1: Well, I have an exciting update.
[4:06] Speaker 2: What do you got?
[4:07] Speaker 1: I got rid of a bed frame last week?
[4:11] Speaker 2: Similar another great segway from that lot. Hold onder that
[4:16] Speaker 2: E've ben holding on to that one? He's like, I
[4:18] Speaker 2: must say this bedframe story for when something serious.
[4:20] Speaker 1: Comes up those blood tests. That is great.
[4:23] Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really interesting.
[4:24] Speaker 3: I sold a bed frame on Marco Bone.
[4:27] Speaker 1: Now it's about me.
[4:29] Speaker 2: Okay, hey, what do you go?
[4:30] Speaker 1: Shout out to Dan. I swear he's not tied up
[4:33] Speaker 1: at my house. He did come over. He helped me
[4:35] Speaker 1: pull apart the bed frame again. And I've tried to
[4:38] Speaker 1: fucking sell that bed frame. We've had that bed frame
[4:41] Speaker 1: for a good twelve years and I was quite attached
[4:44] Speaker 1: to it. It's time for it to go. It was
[4:45] Speaker 1: in very good condition, memories and two hundred bucks nothing,
[4:50] Speaker 1: one hundred bucks nothing. And I was like, like, maybe
[4:54] Speaker 1: people just don't want bed frames right.
[4:55] Speaker 2: Now, I'm gonna say it marketplace.
[4:58] Speaker 3: There's no demand anymore.
[5:00] Speaker 2: Just the fact I put a monitor, computer monitor up
[5:04] Speaker 2: and a forty nine inch computer monitor, Like I'm talking
[5:06] Speaker 2: a fucking big boy.
[5:08] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the biggest I've ever seen the Imax.
[5:11] Speaker 1: It's huge, right to the Odyssey on that and it's.
[5:14] Speaker 3: A two thousand dollars screen.
[5:15] Speaker 2: I paid for it. Yeah, I put it up for
[5:16] Speaker 2: a thousand bucks. It's too big for story.
[5:18] Speaker 1: No one's buying anything for a thousand bucks, Like.
[5:21] Speaker 2: I sold it for six hundred, so I've lost fourteen
[5:24] Speaker 2: hundred dollars on it.
[5:25] Speaker 3: But it took months.
[5:27] Speaker 2: And it was like so many what are we doing
[5:31] Speaker 2: here with you?
[5:32] Speaker 1: And the kids are like crap. I reckon.
[5:37] Speaker 5: It's because of the psychology behind the buying, because if
[5:41] Speaker 5: you weigh up how much you're going to pay, like
[5:43] Speaker 5: sixteen hundred versus how much would it cost me to
[5:47] Speaker 5: buy it new, and I know there's not going to
[5:49] Speaker 5: be anything wrong with.
[5:49] Speaker 2: It and it's going to be delivered to my front
[5:51] Speaker 2: door exactly.
[5:52] Speaker 5: There's been too many dodgy people on marketplace who've ruined
[5:55] Speaker 5: it for all of us.
[5:55] Speaker 3: Yes, you know who you are.
[5:57] Speaker 2: Honestly, the logistics scares people. People are scared of each other.
[6:01] Speaker 1: So I was like, maybe right now, there's just like
[6:04] Speaker 1: you said, the demand is not there.
[6:06] Speaker 2: It's not there. That's fine, bed frames right now we
[6:08] Speaker 2: need a pandemic.
[6:10] Speaker 1: Well then I was like I'll put it for free.
[6:12] Speaker 1: I got like one hundred messages in five minutes, and
[6:14] Speaker 1: I was like, where the fuck were all of you?
[6:17] Speaker 2: Now?
[6:17] Speaker 3: Jack, Now you've got me in.
[6:18] Speaker 1: The one person was like very interested in the bed
[6:22] Speaker 1: frame and I was like is it Is it still available?
[6:25] Speaker 1: I said, yes, absolutely it is and they are great,
[6:28] Speaker 1: would you deliver it to me? And I'm like, the
[6:30] Speaker 1: au desk, but it's free, and they're like, yes, yeah,
[6:33] Speaker 1: they got But I'm a student. I don't give a fuck.
[6:36] Speaker 2: First of all, don't fucking care, and also educations and.
[6:40] Speaker 1: Scam like, if you're that young, you should be able
[6:43] Speaker 1: to fucking walk here and put it on your back
[6:46] Speaker 1: and take it back to wherever you're from.
[6:49] Speaker 2: Is brightly, motherfucker, get up, get out, get off your chair,
[6:52] Speaker 2: and come and pick it up.
[6:52] Speaker 1: I didn't say that. I just said no, what I've had,
[6:56] Speaker 1: I had knocks knocks, came and collected the bed frame
[7:00] Speaker 1: and he was a bit like, what why are you
[7:02] Speaker 1: getting rid of the bed frame?
[7:03] Speaker 2: Just sucked on it too much.
[7:05] Speaker 1: Yeah, the screws are all band screws are all man.
[7:07] Speaker 2: That's actually missing all the screws because we got hard.
[7:10] Speaker 1: And he was like, well, just know that it's going
[7:13] Speaker 1: to a lovely place. I don't know how I've felt
[7:15] Speaker 1: about this, because he goes, we've got a rental that
[7:18] Speaker 1: we have in the Blue Mountains and I was like,
[7:21] Speaker 1: so you've got a fucking investment property and you're getting
[7:23] Speaker 1: free bed frames. It's give me some money. But I
[7:26] Speaker 1: was like, give me fifty. I was like, that's fine.
[7:28] Speaker 1: He sent me photos of it set up.
[7:30] Speaker 3: That's too much.
[7:31] Speaker 1: And the blue man, I know. Laura's like, who are
[7:33] Speaker 1: you messaging? And I'm like, it's just knocks about the
[7:35] Speaker 1: bed frame.
[7:36] Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, just can't do a great home. Look,
[7:39] Speaker 2: I'm gonna stop you right there. Couldn't care less.
[7:41] Speaker 3: Just get it out of my fucking sight and meeting.
[7:43] Speaker 1: I know, but then I'll leave it out the front.
[7:45] Speaker 2: Don't talk to you.
[7:45] Speaker 1: I didn't care that. I also wanted to be like
[7:47] Speaker 1: the next morning, say like, so, how was it sleeping
[7:50] Speaker 1: on it? But I didn't.
[7:51] Speaker 2: You should have. But the mattress, there's people that just
[7:54] Speaker 2: come and collect them and get rid of it.
[7:56] Speaker 1: I think the mattress and it was a sensation. It
[7:59] Speaker 1: was like a three thousand dollar mattress.
[8:01] Speaker 2: Yeah, but okay, it's very different to a U just car.
[8:04] Speaker 2: I think the used mattress market should be abolished.
[8:08] Speaker 3: It's an ick.
[8:09] Speaker 1: But think about hotel rooms. We're all fine, no one's
[8:13] Speaker 1: judging when you sleep in that hotel room knowing that
[8:16] Speaker 1: there's been hundreds, if not.
[8:17] Speaker 2: Thousands, of one or two nights at a time, not
[8:21] Speaker 2: made themselves comfortable in it, and built what you call
[8:24] Speaker 2: a swamp in there, which is where you just leave in.
[8:26] Speaker 3: That fucking.
[8:28] Speaker 2: Three thousand dollar bed the next day after being purchased.
[8:32] Speaker 2: It's worthless. The depreciation on a mattress needs to be
[8:35] Speaker 2: studied because I think I remember we had a mattress
[8:38] Speaker 2: to get rid of, and I was like, fucking free mattress.
[8:42] Speaker 2: And then I thought, I don't want to meet the
[8:43] Speaker 2: people who want to buy to pick up a free mattress.
[8:45] Speaker 1: Well, I tried to give the mattress to Knox because
[8:48] Speaker 1: I was I was like, can I interest you?
[8:51] Speaker 2: And it's very it was like, eh, fuck off.
[8:54] Speaker 1: We had a period where the kids would sleep in
[8:58] Speaker 1: aye bed that would wea the bed with and it
[8:59] Speaker 1: was like on the night where we forgot to put
[9:01] Speaker 1: the mattress protect it on, and then Marley had a
[9:02] Speaker 1: blood nose and so there was blood stains and it
[9:05] Speaker 1: looks like it's been through all lot.
[9:07] Speaker 2: Exactly, and You're like, should I sell this?
[9:10] Speaker 1: It's in the garage and I'm like, have a look.
[9:13] Speaker 1: It's very comfy and there's just stains.
[9:15] Speaker 2: All, and he was like, ah.
[9:19] Speaker 1: No, thank you. I was like, damn it, Someone's got
[9:21] Speaker 1: to want this mattress.
[9:22] Speaker 2: Even Knox is like, look, I'm a bit look, no
[9:25] Speaker 2: thank you much for me.
[9:27] Speaker 1: Someone out there. Laura's like, just fucking take it to
[9:30] Speaker 1: the tip. And I'm like, someone out there has got
[9:32] Speaker 1: to want this mattress.
[9:32] Speaker 2: There's because I remember there was like, I was like,
[9:35] Speaker 2: I don't want to meet the people who want this
[9:37] Speaker 2: free mattress.
[9:38] Speaker 1: I do want to see it.
[9:39] Speaker 3: So I put it outside and come and get it.
[9:42] Speaker 2: I was like, good, don't knock on the door, interact
[9:44] Speaker 2: with me whatsoever, because I don't want to know what
[9:45] Speaker 2: sort of bed bugs you got.
[9:46] Speaker 3: And then when I peered out the window, I noticed that.
[9:50] Speaker 2: They had a truck full of old mattresses. So they
[9:52] Speaker 2: actually go and they recycle them.
[9:54] Speaker 1: Give me their details.
[9:56] Speaker 3: Honestly, the last details I have are theirs.
[10:00] Speaker 2: I'm not interested in that, Garvid. I've been given word. Okay,
[10:05] Speaker 2: there's a show that's currently on TV at the moment
[10:08] Speaker 2: called Traders.
[10:09] Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, familiar.
[10:10] Speaker 2: Friend of the show, friend of ours. Camp merchant didn't
[10:12] Speaker 2: quite make it through the front door. This is awkward,
[10:15] Speaker 2: but honestly, he's probably thankful.
[10:17] Speaker 1: He got kicked out within the first three minutes. And
[10:20] Speaker 1: then anyone who's not watched it three or four episodes later,
[10:24] Speaker 1: they're like hiking through the mountains and he's tied to
[10:26] Speaker 1: a post and then they're like, should we save him?
[10:31] Speaker 2: Well, if your life isn't already stressful enough as it is,
[10:35] Speaker 2: your wife God is campaigning to be on that show, Laura,
[10:40] Speaker 2: what are you doing? Can I just say I was
[10:42] Speaker 2: offered a position on that show last year and I
[10:44] Speaker 2: said no, go on because I have dignity. No, I
[10:50] Speaker 2: said no because the money's crap, but also that's dignity.
[10:53] Speaker 2: I'm kind of glad it did.
[10:53] Speaker 3: Into it now because it's like, I'm not cut out
[10:56] Speaker 3: for that world.
[10:56] Speaker 1: Would you want to be in that environment? Honestly?
[10:59] Speaker 2: I would love to take people down one by one psychologically, Yes.
[11:02] Speaker 1: Would you want to be there with people like dick O?
[11:05] Speaker 3: Fuck Dicko?
[11:06] Speaker 2: And That's what I'd say straight away, That'd be I'd
[11:09] Speaker 2: be like, dick O, you're fucking out of here, mate,
[11:11] Speaker 2: don't care, we're not voting your You're out.
[11:12] Speaker 1: They got here from the batch, Like it's.
[11:15] Speaker 3: Just exactly why.
[11:17] Speaker 2: One of the reasons I said no is I said,
[11:18] Speaker 2: you need to tell me who was going to be
[11:20] Speaker 2: on this show, because I am not part of this
[11:22] Speaker 2: reality TV world. Okay, I've been. I've had one gig
[11:26] Speaker 2: on TV, which honestly didn't love it.
[11:28] Speaker 1: Okay, just speaking to the king of reality TV, I
[11:31] Speaker 1: know that. Can I fucking self appoint myself?
[11:33] Speaker 2: Yeah, But what I'm saying is, I said to them,
[11:35] Speaker 2: I've never been on Love Island or anything anything, So
[11:37] Speaker 2: I just want to know who you're looking at to
[11:39] Speaker 2: put on there, just in case I'm not interested and
[11:41] Speaker 2: we can't tell you. I said, well, I'm not interested.
[11:43] Speaker 1: Were you interested?
[11:44] Speaker 2: Nah? You know when you're like you used to go
[11:46] Speaker 2: to these social media events and stuff here and there,
[11:48] Speaker 2: like activations or whatever, and it was the same. It
[11:50] Speaker 2: was pretty much just the cast of Maths. I was like,
[11:52] Speaker 2: I don't want to get stuck in that situation, so
[11:54] Speaker 2: I didn't.
[11:55] Speaker 1: I can say this because I am one of them.
[11:57] Speaker 1: But people from reality TV, we suck. We're horrific, We're awful.
[12:01] Speaker 2: No, not all of them, Thank you, thank you.
[12:03] Speaker 3: That's you fall into the category.
[12:06] Speaker 1: What did Laura say?
[12:08] Speaker 2: I want everyone to know this if I do the
[12:10] Speaker 2: Traders one day. You've got to play the game. You've
[12:13] Speaker 2: got to play it, all right, you cannot, there's no niceties.
[12:16] Speaker 2: You're not in there to make friends. You play the game.
[12:18] Speaker 3: It's on.
[12:19] Speaker 2: It's on. Put using together. No, don't, let's scare out
[12:22] Speaker 2: because actually, La Laura Savage should actually probably knife me
[12:25] Speaker 2: in the back. The problem with them putting that out
[12:28] Speaker 2: to the ethery is that the producers of that show
[12:31] Speaker 2: are probably licking their lips, going, gotcha, we could have
[12:34] Speaker 2: Laura on the show but minimal money.
[12:38] Speaker 1: But also, I mean, the good thing is Channel ten
[12:41] Speaker 1: is so broke at the moment that those shows are
[12:43] Speaker 1: filmed in three days.
[12:44] Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty much like I'm going away on a
[12:46] Speaker 2: reality TV. She'll be back in twelve hours.
[12:48] Speaker 1: Yeah. Back in the day it was three months. Now
[12:50] Speaker 1: it's like, I know, we've got we've got two hours
[12:53] Speaker 1: to film fifty two hourisdes.
[12:56] Speaker 3: Can we just do this via zoom?
[12:58] Speaker 1: I don't know if I should be concerned that Laura's
[13:01] Speaker 1: but kind of pride herself as being someone who can
[13:03] Speaker 1: be quite deceitful.
[13:04] Speaker 2: I think don't think it's just the deceitfulness of that show.
[13:07] Speaker 2: You've got to also like convince people that you're a
[13:11] Speaker 2: good guy too. Yeah. I guess it is just all
[13:13] Speaker 2: wrapped up in deceit, isn't that.
[13:15] Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean Laura like she's so often and she's like,
[13:18] Speaker 1: I just I'm so stressed out. I have so much anxiety.
[13:22] Speaker 1: I cannot take on a single thing more onto my plate.
[13:25] Speaker 1: And then she's like, but I will do traders before
[13:31] Speaker 1: we just this is on you guys. I need to
[13:34] Speaker 1: bring home the vacuum cleaner today.
[13:36] Speaker 2: Okay, oh yeah, okay.
[13:38] Speaker 1: I got in trouble last week because the studio was
[13:39] Speaker 1: getting a bit dirty. I brought her the vacuum cleaner
[13:41] Speaker 1: from home and.
[13:42] Speaker 2: It's real I say, it's real clean.
[13:44] Speaker 1: So we use that dirtied it again. But we've had
[13:47] Speaker 1: a week of no vacuum cleaner. It's been very stressful.
[13:51] Speaker 2: Now, don't do with herself.
[13:54] Speaker 1: You know, all of a sudden, when you have something
[13:56] Speaker 1: that's such a vital part of the family taken away,
[13:58] Speaker 1: you realize how much you need vacuum cleaner. Just like
[14:01] Speaker 1: within the first afternoon, I came home and like crumbs
[14:05] Speaker 1: on the floor, and laws like, oh, just vacuum that up.
[14:06] Speaker 1: And I was like about that.
[14:09] Speaker 3: You shouldn't just act dumb.
[14:10] Speaker 1: I mean like she saw me take it, so please honestly,
[14:16] Speaker 1: I have to leave with a vacuum in hand.
[14:18] Speaker 2: It just strap the vacuum to you. Thank you for
[14:21] Speaker 2: the next episode.
[14:22] Speaker 4: Have you got a robovack?
[14:23] Speaker 1: Yeah, we do, but it's missing some pads so it
[14:25] Speaker 1: won't work, so I need to get new pads. And yeah,
[14:28] Speaker 1: it's also vic make sure I order the new pads
[14:30] Speaker 1: as my robobacks just gathering dust.
[14:33] Speaker 4: Yeah, we set it up yesterday.
[14:34] Speaker 5: Dan had like cleaned the whole floor so that he
[14:36] Speaker 5: was like ready to go and map out and stuff again.
[14:38] Speaker 5: And it kept getting caught on things and stuck, and
[14:41] Speaker 5: then the brush kept breaking and it was I had
[14:45] Speaker 5: to leave and then come back and I could hear
[14:47] Speaker 5: Dan was just vacuuming.
[14:48] Speaker 2: He the only way you can have a robovack is
[14:52] Speaker 2: if you completely clean everything before using it.
[14:54] Speaker 1: I will say. I will say this may be the
[14:57] Speaker 1: lamest topic that I've ever discussed, but I borrowed my
[15:00] Speaker 1: sister's vacuum cleaner and it has a little dice in
[15:04] Speaker 1: green light. Oh yeah, so if you see all the dust,
[15:06] Speaker 1: so you turn the lights down. I ended up vacuuming
[15:09] Speaker 1: in the pitch black with the laser light on so
[15:11] Speaker 1: I could see the dust.
[15:12] Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're picking up dust fragments there that as
[15:15] Speaker 2: soon as you go past their back. Do you understand that?
[15:18] Speaker 1: Do you think?
[15:18] Speaker 2: Yeah, it's such a gimmick. It's such a gimmick because
[15:21] Speaker 2: I'm like, look out, thirty my floors are and it's like,
[15:24] Speaker 2: no one's like microscopically looking at like the it's literally
[15:28] Speaker 2: just like air on the ground and you go past.
[15:31] Speaker 2: If you go back past that spot again, it's just a.
[15:34] Speaker 1: Fucking gasol For two hours.
[15:36] Speaker 2: Bush's oscar finished the collection. What he has, he has
[15:42] Speaker 2: all forty.
[15:43] Speaker 1: Should we wow?
[15:46] Speaker 3: And he hustled for him too.
[15:48] Speaker 1: Are there certain aushes that are selling for thirty thousand dollars? Yeah?
[15:51] Speaker 3: Okay, a million, Yeah, one hundred million.
[15:53] Speaker 2: Let's just put that. There's like one or two of
[15:55] Speaker 2: those in the world. There's no like, there is no
[15:57] Speaker 2: like I'm talking the gen pop.
[15:59] Speaker 1: What's the hardest one to get?
[16:01] Speaker 2: I think it was the Golden Light in McQueen. Full
[16:04] Speaker 2: credit to this boy. He didn't get given. He traded
[16:09] Speaker 2: to get to where he is now. And he was
[16:11] Speaker 2: at school. Yeah, so he would say to Mazie, he'd
[16:13] Speaker 2: be if Macy had one. If he knew someone at
[16:15] Speaker 2: school needed and Macy had doubles, he go, hey, someone
[16:17] Speaker 2: needs this at school, but they have one that we
[16:19] Speaker 2: need at home. What do you think?
[16:21] Speaker 1: So they're working in tandem.
[16:22] Speaker 3: Yeah, and you've got to be proud as a dad.
[16:24] Speaker 2: And April was like this boy, I'm like yeah, but
[16:26] Speaker 2: you don't want to teach him too little young, otherwise
[16:28] Speaker 2: you will just turn into one of those guys that
[16:30] Speaker 2: just scams everyone out of everything, being a drug dealer. Yeah.
[16:34] Speaker 2: Actually good money, in very good money.
[16:36] Speaker 3: So yeah, he's completed it.
[16:38] Speaker 1: So what does he do now he's moved on?
[16:40] Speaker 2: Well, they're all lined up at home nicely and the
[16:42] Speaker 2: glow in the dark ones. The kids are blown away
[16:44] Speaker 2: by I can. They don't realize that I can make
[16:46] Speaker 2: them blow more. And I won't tell them how I
[16:48] Speaker 2: do it. I just take them.
[16:50] Speaker 1: How do you do it? Tell me?
[16:51] Speaker 3: I take them.
[16:52] Speaker 2: I go to the exhaust fan in the kitchen, turn
[16:54] Speaker 2: the exhaust fan off, just the light because it's quite
[16:56] Speaker 2: bright and small, and they just hold him up like
[16:58] Speaker 2: that and roll them around it. And then I how long?
[17:02] Speaker 2: Two minutes? Not even a minute. Wow, I tell you what,
[17:04] Speaker 2: you put your arms up with that for two minutes
[17:07] Speaker 2: fucking sore. My tries are like what are you doing?
[17:12] Speaker 2: Dropping down? I'm shaking the sacrifices I make as a parent.
[17:18] Speaker 1: April squatting like one hundred kilos, I got four or
[17:22] Speaker 1: she's in each hand the way rams.
[17:27] Speaker 2: She's like, I've got your honey, and she spots me
[17:30] Speaker 2: under the thing.
[17:30] Speaker 1: She's like, it.
[17:31] Speaker 2: Comes in from behind. She's like, I'll lift you up.
[17:35] Speaker 2: So I go back in and I do the same
[17:37] Speaker 2: thing every night, the biggest dad move ever. I put
[17:40] Speaker 2: it in my pocket and it's quite dark, and I
[17:42] Speaker 2: walk in. I'm like, didn't work this time, and they're
[17:45] Speaker 2: like what No, like kidding, and then they're like, how
[17:51] Speaker 2: do you do that?
[17:52] Speaker 3: I was like, I can't tell and me stuff.
[17:55] Speaker 2: We don't keep secrets.
[17:58] Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not a secret.
[17:59] Speaker 2: It's radition's trick anyway. So that's what I do.
[18:04] Speaker 1: That's well. I in my local they now have stopped
[18:07] Speaker 1: giving out the ushies. We ran out, Yeah, they run dry.
[18:11] Speaker 1: So I think we're well and truly we're on like
[18:13] Speaker 1: the bell curve of the ushi. We are over the
[18:15] Speaker 1: hump we're now tapering off. I think this may be
[18:19] Speaker 1: the last time we talked about ushes.
[18:20] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. I think so well done, well done,
[18:23] Speaker 2: He's completed it.
[18:24] Speaker 1: Now what ash very quickly. We've not made this call,
[18:28] Speaker 1: but just the listeners are aware we are looking to
[18:31] Speaker 1: implement a change. Yes, before we implement that change, serious voice,
[18:36] Speaker 1: managing your expectations. Just on the YouTube edits, there's only
[18:41] Speaker 1: a couple of people who will be upset by this.
[18:43] Speaker 2: We're canceling it.
[18:45] Speaker 1: It costs a lot of money and it takes a
[18:48] Speaker 1: lot of time to edit an hour episode for YouTube.
[18:52] Speaker 1: Just so you know, think of it this way, where
[18:57] Speaker 1: we're making a delicious roast turkey dinner okay, and we're
[19:01] Speaker 1: putting it on the table and we're like, this could
[19:03] Speaker 1: feed thousands and only a couple of people going, I'll
[19:06] Speaker 1: have some roast turkey, and we're like every week, we're
[19:08] Speaker 1: like so much wasted roast turkey.
[19:11] Speaker 4: Always with the dinner analogies?
[19:13] Speaker 2: Why why do we need an analogy with it to
[19:15] Speaker 2: allow people to understand here, let me break it down
[19:17] Speaker 2: really quick. Go, there's only minimal amount of people that
[19:20] Speaker 2: actually enjoy that content, so little that it's actually costing
[19:24] Speaker 2: us more money to keep those people entertained than the
[19:27] Speaker 2: rest of you.
[19:27] Speaker 1: That's the roast turkey analogy. Okay, because turkeys they're expensive.
[19:31] Speaker 3: It's not going away forever as it man.
[19:33] Speaker 1: So we're looking at doing like a shortened version, so
[19:36] Speaker 1: we'll have certain topics. We may cut like a five, six, eight,
[19:41] Speaker 1: nine ten minute video an hour. So we're just doing
[19:46] Speaker 1: like little tidbits on YouTube now, just so you know
[19:49] Speaker 1: we may I mean we're broke.
[19:51] Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, the studio ruined us.
[19:54] Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you? Moving on. Yes, just want to
[19:58] Speaker 1: know Ash, if you your children Oscar, mainly because he's
[20:02] Speaker 1: at school. Does he do a speaking competition?
[20:04] Speaker 2: He speaks NonStop all the time. He'll win.
[20:06] Speaker 1: But do they do like a you gotta do a
[20:08] Speaker 1: topic like oral woa whoa whoa.
[20:12] Speaker 2: An oral examination, oral speech or whatever, oral assessment? Fuck speaking, Yes,
[20:19] Speaker 2: that's it.
[20:19] Speaker 3: That's only going for Yeah, did they do that?
[20:21] Speaker 2: He's done it a couple of times.
[20:22] Speaker 1: How do you go?
[20:23] Speaker 2: Ah a chair? So are you talking to water? I reckon?
[20:25] Speaker 1: But how did you go staying on script?
[20:27] Speaker 3: Pretty good?
[20:28] Speaker 2: What are we talking about? It was the zoo Hey
[20:30] Speaker 2: great topic because he had palm card sort of thing,
[20:33] Speaker 2: but they were like pictures jobs his memory.
[20:35] Speaker 1: So Marley loves it. It is her jam. She's very
[20:37] Speaker 1: good at remembering things. That's her skill, right, And so
[20:41] Speaker 1: she is doing one about the tooth fairy needs to
[20:44] Speaker 1: increase their rates and have it standardized, so ten dollars
[20:47] Speaker 1: per tooth. That's her persuasive speech.
[20:49] Speaker 2: Wow.
[20:50] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very good. It's a persuasive speech, very good. Yeah.
[20:52] Speaker 1: And also she's also then looking at us being like
[20:55] Speaker 1: ten dollars, motherfuckers. Yeah. Oh so it's actually it's very clever.
[20:59] Speaker 1: Lola's are took us a long time to figure out
[21:02] Speaker 1: what we can talk about a topic that she's passionate about,
[21:06] Speaker 1: and she doesn't like public speaking. She just it's not
[21:09] Speaker 1: a jam. Doesn't want to be up on stage, have
[21:12] Speaker 1: all the eyes on, a very opposite to Maley. And
[21:14] Speaker 1: we decided that her theme is kids should have more holidays,
[21:19] Speaker 1: okay and on my watch, and we're like, okay, three
[21:24] Speaker 1: points because you want to go on holiday to see
[21:27] Speaker 1: grandpa because learning is hard and you want to have
[21:30] Speaker 1: more fun. Just keep it simple, great, okay. So I'm like,
[21:33] Speaker 1: so what are the three points? She's like, I don't know,
[21:37] Speaker 1: and I'm like, remember, it's about we want to see
[21:40] Speaker 1: grandpa because he lives far away right, repeat after me.
[21:43] Speaker 2: And she's she's like, I don't understand.
[21:48] Speaker 1: Yeah, what do we just And I'm like, okay, okay,
[21:51] Speaker 1: So I try to do pump cards, try like draw
[21:53] Speaker 1: like draw like grandpa a fishing rod grandpa. And she's like,
[21:57] Speaker 1: because we need to go fishing. And I'm like close, close,
[22:01] Speaker 1: very close. We were one week until they present to
[22:04] Speaker 1: the classroom. They then choose one person from each class
[22:07] Speaker 1: each year to then do it at assembly.
[22:10] Speaker 3: Oh I hate that, man, I would hate that so much.
[22:13] Speaker 1: It's a lot.
[22:14] Speaker 2: So I'm like, can we just well, if she doesn't
[22:17] Speaker 2: remember any of it, then they won't pick her.
[22:19] Speaker 1: And I think some kids, some kids, it's a it's
[22:22] Speaker 1: a broad spectrum of ability for this public speaking, but
[22:26] Speaker 1: it's just the added pressure on parents for these type
[22:29] Speaker 1: of activities. We just don't need it.
[22:30] Speaker 3: Well, I was kindy, I don't think they really need to.
[22:33] Speaker 2: I think that they should just say, hey, get up
[22:35] Speaker 2: and tell us your favorite thing in the world and
[22:37] Speaker 2: that's it. And it's like, oh, my favorite thing is whatever, okay,
[22:41] Speaker 2: and it's like and then you just got to tell
[22:43] Speaker 2: you what you love about.
[22:44] Speaker 3: It's like, my favorite thing is this book?
[22:47] Speaker 2: But why because it's colorful?
[22:48] Speaker 1: Even move on. Laula's like, what does persuasive mean? And
[22:52] Speaker 1: I was like, well, I was trying to explain. I
[22:54] Speaker 1: spent twenty minutes explaining persuasive and I was like, thin,
[22:58] Speaker 1: give it like a turkey dinner.
[23:01] Speaker 3: Here's an analogy.
[23:03] Speaker 2: Have you ever had Turkey's? Like what.
[23:07] Speaker 4: School actually does news?
[23:08] Speaker 5: They have to do it every fortnight, and it's so
[23:10] Speaker 5: that they start to get that confidence public speaking experience
[23:15] Speaker 5: without having to put a lot of pressure attached to it.
[23:18] Speaker 5: So they choose a topic like last week it was
[23:21] Speaker 5: my favorite fairy tale.
[23:22] Speaker 1: Nice, but it's funny with kids like Laula will be like, hey,
[23:25] Speaker 1: what's up are you going?
[23:26] Speaker 2: And then as soon as she practices at home, she's like,
[23:31] Speaker 2: all I remember is at school being like good afternoon,
[23:36] Speaker 2: look at the audience, and it's like make eye contact
[23:38] Speaker 2: and you like.
[23:40] Speaker 1: And the moment you get a little bit too confident,
[23:42] Speaker 1: went wrong and you try to find your players going
[23:44] Speaker 1: on where Yeah, like, good for those.
[23:47] Speaker 2: Of you who don't know who I am. You're all
[23:49] Speaker 2: in the same class together all year.
[23:50] Speaker 5: Everyone knows but they still do it though lewis really
[23:56] Speaker 5: like strict on, like, no, that's not how we started.
[23:58] Speaker 4: It has to be good class.
[24:00] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, good morning, Good morning, Louis. And then
[24:05] Speaker 2: it's like and furthermore to the previous sentence that I
[24:08] Speaker 2: wrote earlier on trying to feel out the time because
[24:10] Speaker 2: you've got to do a minute, it was like, I
[24:12] Speaker 2: just remember for so much pressure at school on those
[24:14] Speaker 2: things where it was like, you have to do an
[24:15] Speaker 2: oral presentation. What's like, but I will, I'll do it,
[24:20] Speaker 2: but I have to speak right in there. Mister Barlow,
[24:24] Speaker 2: I just want to read this out really quick, because
[24:26] Speaker 2: we got sent some really lovely mugs. On's behind us,
[24:30] Speaker 2: two doting dads.
[24:31] Speaker 3: Correct spelling.
[24:32] Speaker 1: Doting is wrong now it's not getting.
[24:34] Speaker 2: Double tea Ash and Mattie Jay a little something for
[24:38] Speaker 2: you both. Thank you for using your platform for conversations
[24:41] Speaker 2: that really matter, not only for dads, but for women
[24:44] Speaker 2: and the younger generation.
[24:45] Speaker 1: We'll just stop you right there, and we've just spoken
[24:47] Speaker 1: about oral presentations and selling mattresses so riveting, so that
[24:52] Speaker 1: message doesn't apply to this episode of your brand new PS.
[24:56] Speaker 2: I hope you like your new mugs. Thank you, thank you,
[24:59] Speaker 2: and that's from able ceramics. Check him out. That's able
[25:04] Speaker 2: a bell a bell. Let's agree to disagree.
[25:07] Speaker 1: It's a bell a bell spelled abel, however, that she
[25:12] Speaker 1: does not make bells. In case you're like.
[25:13] Speaker 5: It's double l any breaking news we got There is
[25:17] Speaker 5: a viral claim during the rounds at the moment, which
[25:18] Speaker 5: I think will tickle both of your fancy. A single
[25:22] Speaker 5: hit to the testicles can cause nine thousand units of pain,
[25:26] Speaker 5: comparable to fracturing three thousand, two hundred bones and the
[25:30] Speaker 5: pain of giving birth to one hundred and sixty children
[25:33] Speaker 5: all at once.
[25:35] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you guys think you got it rough. I'm
[25:38] Speaker 1: nodding along, yes, yes, yes.
[25:40] Speaker 5: The testicles contain many sensitive nerves, so a direct impact
[25:45] Speaker 5: can cause intense pain that may spread to the lower
[25:48] Speaker 5: abdomen and trigger nausea or dizziness.
[25:51] Speaker 1: Which is why you often see a man will drop
[25:55] Speaker 1: to his knees.
[25:56] Speaker 2: Yeah he's not brain, Yeah, he's in pain.
[25:59] Speaker 1: And I think, how many bones was it? How many?
[26:01] Speaker 4: Three two hundred?
[26:03] Speaker 5: I will say, though it says pain can't be converted
[26:06] Speaker 5: into a precise, universal unit like this, because everyone's perception
[26:10] Speaker 5: of pain is different. But obviously there is a biological
[26:14] Speaker 5: reason a blow to the testicles can be extremely painful.
[26:17] Speaker 1: And was it the same as birth or worse?
[26:20] Speaker 2: One hundred births one hundred.
[26:22] Speaker 4: And sixty, which I have.
[26:23] Speaker 5: To go on.
[26:25] Speaker 2: I stand by those numbers. But also as well, that's
[26:28] Speaker 2: not mentioned in there, is that our testicles are on
[26:30] Speaker 2: the outside of our body. Yes, well said, so, they're
[26:34] Speaker 2: very susceptible to any sort of pain or any any
[26:39] Speaker 2: they're in the way.
[26:40] Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the human body is an incredible invention,
[26:44] Speaker 1: except for the test Except for the testicles. That is
[26:47] Speaker 1: the one fault I think that we can all agree on. Yeah,
[26:50] Speaker 1: something so valuable.
[26:51] Speaker 3: It was like, what about these?
[26:53] Speaker 2: So what about these? Just leave them out? Yeah, leave
[26:55] Speaker 2: them on the outside, attach them still, but leave on that,
[26:57] Speaker 2: but also then have on the inside of them. They're
[27:00] Speaker 2: separate too, So they're separate.
[27:03] Speaker 1: That's quite precarious.
[27:05] Speaker 3: Just make sure that's how they're that's how they created.
[27:09] Speaker 4: How often would the area get hit?
[27:12] Speaker 2: You don't want to know, No, you don't.
[27:15] Speaker 3: You don't want to sit.
[27:16] Speaker 2: On them, can you see? Yeah? When I was fourteen
[27:20] Speaker 2: of mine we got twisted.
[27:22] Speaker 1: Are you okay to talk about this?
[27:24] Speaker 2: It's an emotional time to me, it is I still
[27:27] Speaker 2: have the scar, very brave. I stive the scar.
[27:29] Speaker 4: Twisted on the inside of the outside.
[27:31] Speaker 2: Inside outside you just untwisted, okay, but inside not so simple?
[27:36] Speaker 2: Was fourteen? That's right.
[27:38] Speaker 3: We drove to Sydney from the Gold Coast.
[27:40] Speaker 1: Love how you're sitting there looking at the Sydney like,
[27:42] Speaker 1: how old was I?
[27:43] Speaker 2: I was twenty two years ago.
[27:45] Speaker 1: I was a fourteen year old.
[27:46] Speaker 2: I was prone to unexpected erections, guilty at that age,
[27:51] Speaker 2: especially whilst driving.
[27:53] Speaker 3: And I had to drive with my family from the Gold.
[27:55] Speaker 2: Coast to Sydney.
[27:57] Speaker 1: It's the vibration, it's the vibration.
[27:58] Speaker 2: My leg was up on the dash trying to cover
[28:00] Speaker 2: up that boner the majority of that drive.
[28:03] Speaker 3: Anyway.
[28:04] Speaker 2: Then I got to the destination and served a few
[28:06] Speaker 2: times with some friends and realized that something was not right.
[28:09] Speaker 2: A lot of pain. And I remember Dad coming to
[28:12] Speaker 2: pick me up from my mate's house and he fucking
[28:14] Speaker 2: loves a yarn Jesus Christ, and he started talking to
[28:17] Speaker 2: the mom and I'm like, Dad, I'm in fucking pain here,
[28:19] Speaker 2: it's my nuts and he.
[28:20] Speaker 3: Was like fuck, So he dropped me off to my
[28:23] Speaker 3: mum for my mom.
[28:24] Speaker 2: Then to take me to the poor form. I know.
[28:28] Speaker 2: He was like, I can't handle that sort of stuff.
[28:30] Speaker 2: Within half an hour, I'm in surgery. So six hours
[28:32] Speaker 2: a testicle diece, So I'm in surgery, right.
[28:36] Speaker 1: It's like busters twisted stomach.
[28:38] Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I spent what that whole
[28:42] Speaker 2: troop was fucked obviously because I had testicles that were
[28:45] Speaker 2: fucking massive because they had to cut it open, stitch
[28:48] Speaker 2: to the sidewalls, zip me back up, and send me
[28:51] Speaker 2: on my way as a fourteen year old boy.
[28:53] Speaker 1: But I knew were and you also had quite big
[28:55] Speaker 1: testicles in the first place.
[28:57] Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, so yeah, oh yeah, run with that.
[29:00] Speaker 2: But I think it actually happens a lot. But most
[29:03] Speaker 2: of the time they untwist naturally. Also, you can have
[29:06] Speaker 2: one that hasn't descended yet, but that wasn't the case.
[29:08] Speaker 4: These are twisted from the way you were seating.
[29:11] Speaker 3: Look, I do have something to admit. No one never
[29:14] Speaker 3: told anyone before.
[29:15] Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was fourteen and discovering myself.
[29:21] Speaker 4: So acceptable.
[29:22] Speaker 2: Okay, I think the night or the day before I
[29:26] Speaker 2: would have jerked off. I reckon at least ten times.
[29:31] Speaker 2: What does that have to do with I think I
[29:32] Speaker 2: might have vigorously twisted my own testicles without unknowingly, and
[29:37] Speaker 2: then I had I blame it on the surfing, but
[29:40] Speaker 2: I think from memory I may have overindulged in myself
[29:47] Speaker 2: as one does, being very modest here as one does.
[29:50] Speaker 1: And I think, I think that's more O my god,
[29:54] Speaker 1: Surely after five or six there was nothing else. I
[30:01] Speaker 1: was young and until I was in hospital. Can I
[30:05] Speaker 1: just quickly not to really hone in on the self pleasure,
[30:10] Speaker 1: but like how much time between each one?
[30:12] Speaker 3: Not long, just back to back to batll you what at.
[30:17] Speaker 2: That age, your recharge rate is very minimal, I reckon.
[30:21] Speaker 2: I think that's what's happened.
[30:22] Speaker 1: And I more question.
[30:24] Speaker 2: I had a mate that was so just no sympathy whatsoever.
[30:27] Speaker 2: He would pretend to sackack me afterwards and I would
[30:29] Speaker 2: squeeze my together. He was one of my best friends still,
[30:33] Speaker 2: but like, fuck, what an ass off.
[30:34] Speaker 1: In a SoC or where was it going the ten times?
[30:38] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[30:39] Speaker 3: I think I was pretty empty by that stage.
[30:42] Speaker 2: It was just air anyway. So I got what happened
[30:49] Speaker 2: is I picked up a little infection in the hospital
[30:51] Speaker 2: to not on my nuts. Just I got a boil
[30:53] Speaker 2: like on my leg and stuff. And then I got
[30:55] Speaker 2: one here, a boil. Yeah, I just got it from
[30:57] Speaker 2: the hospital. I keep picked up things in the hospital.
[30:59] Speaker 1: And mom and Dad are like, fuck, what next.
[31:02] Speaker 2: Anyway, one time, and because I was on all these painkillers,
[31:05] Speaker 2: I was so constipated. Right, this is.
[31:07] Speaker 3: A horrible time in my life.
[31:09] Speaker 1: I'm still jacking off ten times a day as well.
[31:11] Speaker 2: It increased the pleasure. Anyway. I remember trying to push
[31:17] Speaker 2: out this pool so hard ones and the boil on
[31:20] Speaker 2: my cheek exploded onto the wall.
[31:28] Speaker 3: Anyway, fucking hell, testicles.
[31:31] Speaker 2: Don't underestimate testicles, everybody. That's what I'm trying to say.
[31:34] Speaker 4: And he wonders why he has hemorrhoids.
[31:38] Speaker 2: Shush, yeah, I have a lovely stitch down the front
[31:44] Speaker 2: of my nuts really separates the two.
[31:46] Speaker 1: Get it out.
[31:47] Speaker 2: Okay, watch on YouTube.
[31:50] Speaker 3: Actually you can't watch on YouTube anymore.
[31:52] Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
[31:53] Speaker 2: Thank you. Hey, Matt, I ran into some friends of
[31:56] Speaker 2: yours on the weekend. I was in BONDI yeah, sorry,
[31:59] Speaker 2: I couldn't see. No, that's okay. I did give you
[32:01] Speaker 2: a warning, but you were busy and my cousin had
[32:04] Speaker 2: a gallery opening in the.
[32:05] Speaker 1: Pavilion lovely building and BONDI beautiful and it was.
[32:08] Speaker 2: It turned out to be a really nice morning because
[32:10] Speaker 2: it was draining on and off and then it just
[32:12] Speaker 2: went really nice for a couple of hours. So got
[32:14] Speaker 2: to go see that. Anyway, we're walking back to the
[32:17] Speaker 2: car and I hear this ash melananso Ah.
[32:22] Speaker 3: Lovely people, aren't they lovely people?
[32:25] Speaker 2: So Melonanzo are Matt's friends from the park, from the
[32:27] Speaker 2: park that he's you know, grown, they've grown quite close.
[32:31] Speaker 3: Lovely people. They're coming over.
[32:34] Speaker 1: Excuse me what my godson?
[32:37] Speaker 3: Yeah, your godson is coming to my house for dinner.
[32:40] Speaker 1: No he's not. Yeah, no, yeah coming and they've got
[32:44] Speaker 1: a new bond.
[32:46] Speaker 2: It was like, you should tell them that you guys
[32:48] Speaker 2: are hanging out now.
[32:49] Speaker 3: But anyway, they ran into them.
[32:51] Speaker 2: And they looks great because he had a stroke stroke yeah,
[32:54] Speaker 2: And I was like, don't get up. It was like
[32:57] Speaker 2: they came over and I was just like, we're just
[32:59] Speaker 2: one of those mornings to get out of the house.
[33:00] Speaker 2: Kids will just running the mark. But anyway, I just
[33:02] Speaker 2: thought i'd did you meet my godson that he's asleep?
[33:05] Speaker 2: I don't think.
[33:06] Speaker 3: I don't do babies very often. I actually forgot that
[33:08] Speaker 3: they had the child.
[33:11] Speaker 2: I was like, hey, there's your kids, only two.
[33:14] Speaker 1: I will say, just quickly on Melan and soo. I
[33:17] Speaker 1: got the gift, got the gift for Marlowe, my god son.
[33:21] Speaker 1: What can I get my god I want something that's
[33:24] Speaker 1: a bit of a legacy piece.
[33:25] Speaker 2: You know, it's not your kid, it's a legacy piece.
[33:30] Speaker 1: It is my god. He's got to tell of the family,
[33:33] Speaker 1: the godfather and I maybe jewelry, maybe like a pen.
[33:38] Speaker 1: I don't know what. What can this child? I don't know. Yeah,
[33:41] Speaker 1: and I was thinking that's not good. Yeah, something like that,
[33:43] Speaker 1: you know, like beautiful. But then you know, no one
[33:47] Speaker 1: cares for pens anymore. The pen industry is dying.
[33:49] Speaker 3: Yeah, bicker really struggling financially.
[33:53] Speaker 1: Thoughts anyone who works at big But then I thought, okay,
[33:57] Speaker 1: something that's going to be of value when he's older.
[34:00] Speaker 1: I got a membership to the SCGH, Great Sydney Cricket
[34:04] Speaker 1: Ground for also, I believe gets you tickets to Alliance
[34:08] Speaker 1: Stadium next door. I think I think there's also a
[34:12] Speaker 1: gym there. He said, this kid, but the wait time
[34:16] Speaker 1: is sixteen years, so you have to pay. It's like
[34:21] Speaker 1: an amount of money. It's something huge. We pay every
[34:24] Speaker 1: year to renew being on the wait list, and the
[34:27] Speaker 1: only issue was there was two options, one off payment
[34:31] Speaker 1: or the automatic renewal, and the automatic renewal the website
[34:34] Speaker 1: wasn't working, so I was like, I'll do the one
[34:36] Speaker 1: off payment. They email you when it's about to expire.
[34:39] Speaker 1: If it expires, you're back to the end of the queue.
[34:43] Speaker 1: Very stressful.
[34:44] Speaker 3: Do your kids have this?
[34:45] Speaker 1: No, but.
[34:47] Speaker 2: Like, fack my kids. That guy's kid.
[34:50] Speaker 1: So if you want to, oh, that's true. I actually
[34:54] Speaker 1: should get it for like one of our because if
[34:57] Speaker 1: you get one person's a member, you get think three
[34:59] Speaker 1: or four ticket to games for free.
[35:01] Speaker 2: It's at the MCG. It's like fifty year wait.
[35:03] Speaker 3: Yeah, you get born here.
[35:05] Speaker 1: It's great. I should do it for like one person
[35:07] Speaker 1: in the family. Yeah, but like that's.
[35:08] Speaker 2: The thing, the pressure of we have to use this
[35:10] Speaker 2: now because of all the years of paying for it.
[35:12] Speaker 2: That's just buy a ticket to go to the game
[35:14] Speaker 2: when the game comes up that you want to go to.
[35:15] Speaker 3: You're right, but I get the prestige if I'm a
[35:18] Speaker 3: bit but.
[35:19] Speaker 1: Yeah, so one day when he turns sixteen, hopefully I've
[35:21] Speaker 1: had the renewal automated.
[35:23] Speaker 2: Can I ask how much?
[35:24] Speaker 1: It's about fifty bucks a year.
[35:26] Speaker 2: It's not too bad.
[35:27] Speaker 1: So seen what let's go over here.
[35:29] Speaker 2: You're nearly talking about one thousand dollars over over twenty years.
[35:32] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's about seven hundred bucks.
[35:34] Speaker 2: And at what point did say that kid gets to
[35:37] Speaker 2: an age and you're like, hey, do you know what
[35:39] Speaker 2: I did when you're a child and he's not into
[35:41] Speaker 2: sport whatsoever?
[35:42] Speaker 1: Well, then Melan ends I can use it and then
[35:45] Speaker 1: get the nice gym.
[35:46] Speaker 2: Fair Okay, all right, so it's a good gift for
[35:48] Speaker 2: the family.
[35:49] Speaker 1: I was expecting more of a reaction from the two
[35:51] Speaker 1: of you.
[35:52] Speaker 4: Well, I was deep in thought actually, because I was
[35:54] Speaker 4: gifted this myself.
[35:55] Speaker 2: Wait what yes, wait for the SCG.
[35:59] Speaker 4: Yeah, I used to be a member.
[36:00] Speaker 1: You what happened?
[36:02] Speaker 5: Well, I've moved away and also I had kids, and
[36:04] Speaker 5: then I realized I probably wouldn't be able to go,
[36:08] Speaker 5: so I had to cancel that membership.
[36:09] Speaker 4: But I got it as a GIF.
[36:10] Speaker 1: You canceled the membership that people are waiting sixteen.
[36:14] Speaker 3: Years, but then someone else gets an opportunity.
[36:17] Speaker 1: Look, very good point.
[36:18] Speaker 4: As I said, it wasn't something I took lightly.
[36:20] Speaker 2: But when you're paying that, well, it sounds like you did.
[36:25] Speaker 4: No because I waited so long to get on that
[36:27] Speaker 4: and like I had to.
[36:28] Speaker 5: Get in with other members for ages until I could
[36:31] Speaker 5: finally be a member. But I think I got it
[36:33] Speaker 5: for like my eighteenth birthday present. But mom and dad
[36:35] Speaker 5: must have applied for it when I was like.
[36:37] Speaker 1: What are you paying when you actually got the membership?
[36:38] Speaker 1: How much is it?
[36:39] Speaker 4: I can't remember, but it was like a couple of hundred.
[36:42] Speaker 1: Yeah, there is.
[36:44] Speaker 2: The argument you're given this kid a bill. That's what
[36:48] Speaker 2: you're giving really something to pay?
[36:50] Speaker 4: Well, thank you, but it is It is fun when you're.
[36:54] Speaker 3: There, though, I mean, it's definitely like a different present.
[36:57] Speaker 2: Maybe when he grows up he's like really into it
[36:59] Speaker 2: and paid off and you guys go together.
[37:03] Speaker 1: That's what I said.
[37:04] Speaker 2: So it's really about you. Yes, yeah, I start the
[37:08] Speaker 2: story with that. I'm more on board.
[37:09] Speaker 1: But that just makes me sound like a bit of
[37:11] Speaker 1: a tear.
[37:12] Speaker 2: There was a moment in the middle of the night
[37:14] Speaker 2: that made me smile. Obviously, kids in and out of
[37:17] Speaker 2: my bed in the middle of the night, which is so.
[37:19] Speaker 1: Your own kids.
[37:20] Speaker 2: Let me clear that right up, my own children where
[37:24] Speaker 2: I'm like, stay in your own bed, and they come
[37:26] Speaker 2: into our bed in the middle of the night. But
[37:27] Speaker 2: I had a night the other night where Oscar came
[37:31] Speaker 2: in quite early in comparison and went to sleep, was fine,
[37:35] Speaker 2: no worries, and then we were I was trying to
[37:37] Speaker 2: get to always struggle to get to sleep, and I
[37:39] Speaker 2: get frustrated, especially when there's a kid. I can't get
[37:42] Speaker 2: to sleep without a kid in there the best of times,
[37:44] Speaker 2: let alone. When there's a kid in there, I quite
[37:46] Speaker 2: enjoy it.
[37:47] Speaker 3: I can't, yeah, because it's yeah.
[37:50] Speaker 2: But also he's like quite hyperactive sleeper. You can see
[37:54] Speaker 2: he's ticking over all the time, and I was like
[37:58] Speaker 2: getting a little bit frustrated or whatever. And then he
[38:02] Speaker 2: started laughing in his sleep, and I was like, that's weird.
[38:07] Speaker 2: But then I sort of had a moment to myself
[38:09] Speaker 2: where hanging to say, he's asleep, okay, and instead of
[38:13] Speaker 2: having nightmares about bad things that are happening, he's actually laughing.
[38:18] Speaker 3: And it made me think.
[38:19] Speaker 2: About the environment that I'm bringing him up in and
[38:21] Speaker 2: that it's all fun.
[38:23] Speaker 3: And I kind of felt like I like the idea of.
[38:26] Speaker 2: Him not having a nightmare, but him having a dream
[38:29] Speaker 2: where he actually has a laugh.
[38:30] Speaker 1: Fuck. Yeah.
[38:31] Speaker 2: I was so frustrated in the moment, but then that
[38:33] Speaker 2: happened and I was like, oh, fuck, you know, and
[38:36] Speaker 2: it kind of made me think, well, maybe we are
[38:37] Speaker 2: doing a decent job. Absolutely, And it was like just
[38:40] Speaker 2: a little moment that I thought I didn't want to
[38:42] Speaker 2: let get away, that I had to record it so
[38:45] Speaker 2: that I could look back on it and go, Okay, Well,
[38:48] Speaker 2: in that moment, I felt like he was so comfortable
[38:51] Speaker 2: in his surroundings and where he lives, and how safe
[38:54] Speaker 2: he might have felt, and he's not having bad thoughts
[38:57] Speaker 2: in bad dreams. He's actually having a great time. And
[39:00] Speaker 2: that made me feel really good.
[39:01] Speaker 1: So I just thought I wanted to tell you I
[39:03] Speaker 1: think it's a beautiful thing.
[39:04] Speaker 2: And then he screamed no, he did you ask him.
[39:08] Speaker 1: What he was dreaming about?
[39:09] Speaker 5: No.
[39:09] Speaker 2: The next I remember, April was like, I was laughing
[39:12] Speaker 2: last time, and I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, he
[39:14] Speaker 2: was laughing, and I actually had a giggle because I
[39:16] Speaker 2: was laughing about how hysterically he was laughing.
[39:19] Speaker 4: Did you record his laughing?
[39:20] Speaker 2: I don't know. I just was in the moment, which
[39:22] Speaker 2: is not like me. I'm usually just like no, it
[39:25] Speaker 2: was like, yeah.
[39:26] Speaker 1: You're like oh.
[39:28] Speaker 2: I was like, get out of the actually you can stay.
[39:31] Speaker 2: But then April was like yeah he was at him.
[39:34] Speaker 2: I was like yeah, and I was like gig along
[39:35] Speaker 2: with him. And then he just went just obviously went
[39:38] Speaker 2: to sleep. It must be nice, Yeah, it must be nice.
[39:40] Speaker 2: I was up for another two hours after that thinking
[39:42] Speaker 2: about it. But it was like just one of those
[39:45] Speaker 2: moments that you don't get a lot of as a
[39:47] Speaker 2: parent because it's such a thankless job majority of the time,
[39:51] Speaker 2: and you'll go all day, all night forcing your kids
[39:54] Speaker 2: to say thank you for everything that you give them,
[39:56] Speaker 2: and then when something like that happens Dar the night
[39:59] Speaker 2: that's completely unconscious because he's unconscious to sleep, and I
[40:02] Speaker 2: would love to know what he's laughing about, but he doesn't.
[40:04] Speaker 2: He doesn't remember remember any of it.
[40:07] Speaker 1: I know you hate receiving compliments, so I'll make this
[40:10] Speaker 1: very quick, but you are a really amazing dad.
[40:13] Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, thank you you are. I hate me.
[40:18] Speaker 1: You're doing a great job.
[40:19] Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you, you too, you too.
[40:22] Speaker 1: You should you should really know that.
[40:23] Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, I'm and April will tell you me intimes.
[40:26] Speaker 2: How fucking hard of myself. I am all the time
[40:29] Speaker 2: about it, because I mean, we're gonna have jen on thankfully,
[40:32] Speaker 2: But like I mean, a lot of the time, I
[40:35] Speaker 2: sort of finished the day thinking about however I acted,
[40:39] Speaker 2: was that correct? And I'm pulling myself up so much
[40:42] Speaker 2: with things like just the way my tone is about something,
[40:46] Speaker 2: that the way that I talk to them accidentally, and
[40:49] Speaker 2: I'm like shit, and it's like, fuck you just I
[40:52] Speaker 2: suppose you just in survival mode so much of the day. Yeah, yeah,
[40:56] Speaker 2: thank you. That means a lot because I do. I
[40:58] Speaker 2: am really really hard on myself and I spend a
[41:01] Speaker 2: lot of time in my own head having conversations that
[41:06] Speaker 2: are relentless. So it's like, I thank you, but good moment,
[41:11] Speaker 2: I didn't. I wanted to get it down on recording,
[41:13] Speaker 2: so I have it forever and I love that. I
[41:15] Speaker 2: love that.
[41:16] Speaker 1: Thank you, Ash, who was in the wrong here? All right,
[41:21] Speaker 1: lad on, me go play you a video.
[41:24] Speaker 2: I love visuals.
[41:25] Speaker 1: There are two people. There are two camps.
[41:27] Speaker 3: Don't spoil it.
[41:29] Speaker 1: There are two camps here. Both could be innocent. So
[41:31] Speaker 1: I'm gonna play the video, Ash, and then I'll get
[41:34] Speaker 1: your thoughts okay right afterwards, So that's okay. That's right.
[41:42] Speaker 1: So it is a couple who were together. I don't know,
[41:45] Speaker 1: it could be their first pregnancy. They're doing a gender
[41:48] Speaker 1: reveal on a public jetty.
[41:51] Speaker 2: Yeah, it says here you're just trying to film your
[41:53] Speaker 2: gender rule before the sun sets. That's good. That's what
[41:58] Speaker 2: it's like having a child. They just do whatever they
[42:01] Speaker 2: want around you and don't listen. And then another guy, So.
[42:04] Speaker 1: The couple doing a gender reveal, and they've got a
[42:06] Speaker 1: beautiful set up here, there's like on a jetty, white sheets,
[42:10] Speaker 1: they've got flowers, there's a cake as obvious, and then
[42:13] Speaker 1: the gender reveal will be the like the champagne flute
[42:16] Speaker 1: into the cake to see what I'm guessing, to see
[42:20] Speaker 1: what color the cake is. And there's a guy who's
[42:23] Speaker 1: on a foil board who's trying to launch off the jetty.
[42:27] Speaker 3: It's just like having a toddler immediately, So get used
[42:29] Speaker 3: to that.
[42:31] Speaker 2: Like literally, it's just like you're trying to do something serious, like, mam,
[42:33] Speaker 2: what's this?
[42:35] Speaker 1: I mean, if you've got to do a gender reveal,
[42:37] Speaker 1: you run the risk doing anything in public, you run
[42:39] Speaker 1: the risk. Who do you think is at fault? Is
[42:41] Speaker 1: it the couple doing the gender reveal or is it
[42:43] Speaker 1: the guy on the foil board.
[42:44] Speaker 2: I don't understand why there needs to be of anyone
[42:47] Speaker 2: at fault because it is in public. You're at a
[42:49] Speaker 2: public jetty, you're doing your thing. I don't know exactly
[42:53] Speaker 2: what he said, because it's obviously you can see he's
[42:56] Speaker 2: trying to get out of there as quick as you
[42:57] Speaker 2: can too.
[42:58] Speaker 1: To launch a foil board, watch this will put it
[43:00] Speaker 1: on there. But you've got to like hold the board
[43:03] Speaker 1: like push off, and it's got to have a certain
[43:05] Speaker 1: amount of speed for the foil to kick in, and
[43:07] Speaker 1: then you've got to stand on the foil board.
[43:09] Speaker 2: So he goes through the launch and he falls off,
[43:11] Speaker 2: So he's like, sorry, you.
[43:13] Speaker 1: Got to like paddle back, go back on the jetty,
[43:15] Speaker 1: do another launch. Sun is setting a lot of pressure.
[43:18] Speaker 1: Could you not just say.
[43:20] Speaker 3: Learn somewhere else?
[43:21] Speaker 5: No?
[43:22] Speaker 1: I think the guy who the foil rider could say, hey,
[43:25] Speaker 1: I'll give you guys, you've got six minutes to film
[43:28] Speaker 1: your bit, yeah, and then I'm going to launch.
[43:30] Speaker 3: Also, where does it end? Like, where does it end?
[43:33] Speaker 2: Where You've got to accommodate every what everyone else is
[43:35] Speaker 2: doing before you can actually do what you're doing, Because
[43:37] Speaker 2: like he's gone down there. He doesn't know. He didn't
[43:39] Speaker 2: go down there intentionally trying to ruin whatever's happening.
[43:42] Speaker 1: We don't know that.
[43:43] Speaker 2: But I think there's enough time in that video. I
[43:45] Speaker 2: can see it is sunny setting, but there's time there
[43:47] Speaker 2: for that guy to get his thing done.
[43:49] Speaker 1: And what's priority the gender reveal on sunset, Golden Hour
[43:53] Speaker 1: lighting or the foil board launching depends how you ask
[43:57] Speaker 1: I reckon for me. For me, I would take the
[44:01] Speaker 1: Priori has to go to the gender reveal.
[44:04] Speaker 2: I don't think either get the priority. I don't know.
[44:07] Speaker 3: This is a weird one for me because I think
[44:08] Speaker 3: it's a public jeddy.
[44:09] Speaker 2: You run the risk we said that.
[44:10] Speaker 3: I think maybe a little bit more.
[44:14] Speaker 2: From the guy trying to paddleboard, maybe just a little
[44:17] Speaker 2: bit more like grace in terms of like, oh, I'll
[44:21] Speaker 2: come back, maybe like you said, But I don't think
[44:23] Speaker 2: he needs to say anything right, So maybe there is
[44:25] Speaker 2: some intrusiveness there. But at the same time, if you're
[44:28] Speaker 2: doing something public that you can't expect it to be perfect,
[44:30] Speaker 2: Like like when people film in the gym and it's
[44:32] Speaker 2: like someone walks in front because it's a public gym
[44:34] Speaker 2: and it's the same thing. I think it's like you
[44:37] Speaker 2: could see by that he was trying to.
[44:38] Speaker 3: Get it done and get out of the way.
[44:40] Speaker 2: Okay, you can see like the way he's doing it.
[44:42] Speaker 1: I'll be really quick and it is really and cuts
[44:45] Speaker 1: his leg and you can't help help me.
[44:48] Speaker 2: But I think like maybe he could have been like,
[44:51] Speaker 2: you guys, get first. You're running the risk in public.
[44:54] Speaker 2: Anything could happen. A fucking boat could go past, and
[44:55] Speaker 2: someone could be like, oh, dick, you know you can't
[44:58] Speaker 2: you can't control that.
[45:00] Speaker 1: I think gender reveals should be treated with the utmost
[45:05] Speaker 1: respect by the public. No, I think that's not I
[45:07] Speaker 1: think you should be allowed to drop in a gender
[45:10] Speaker 1: reveal at any location in the public domain and it
[45:13] Speaker 1: should stop traffic.
[45:14] Speaker 2: No. Nah, I think that's it's a gender reveal.
[45:16] Speaker 1: It's one of these moments for repairing.
[45:18] Speaker 2: Yeah, but that guy could have easily been like, hey,
[45:21] Speaker 2: you're on a public jetty which is used for this.
[45:23] Speaker 2: You're running the risk public exactly right. So I think
[45:26] Speaker 2: it's like they could have.
[45:27] Speaker 4: Been a fisherman in the background.
[45:29] Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like they don't leave.
[45:31] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[45:32] Speaker 2: Like so, for example, when I proposed to my wife
[45:35] Speaker 2: was on the top of this mountain called Twin Peaks
[45:37] Speaker 2: in San Francisco. Okay, the cab drive one of these
[45:40] Speaker 2: places where the cab you take you need to pay
[45:43] Speaker 2: that guy to hang around because you can't get a
[45:44] Speaker 2: cab up there.
[45:45] Speaker 1: Right.
[45:46] Speaker 2: He doesn't know that I'm trying to propose, but he
[45:48] Speaker 2: just will not leave us alone. Okay, he just all
[45:53] Speaker 2: of a sudden turned to this two guy because he's like,
[45:54] Speaker 2: I'm being paid to be up I'm not gonna sit
[45:56] Speaker 2: like I'm going to enjoy it as well. Whatever.
[45:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, could you not say to him, like, good proposal?
[46:01] Speaker 2: Now, once he sort of got a little bit far away,
[46:04] Speaker 2: I got it done.
[46:05] Speaker 3: But then he was fucking crying.
[46:06] Speaker 2: He was a part of it.
[46:07] Speaker 1: But did you get him to film?
[46:09] Speaker 2: No, what do you mean? No?
[46:10] Speaker 3: We had friends with us, We had friends with this.
[46:12] Speaker 2: Yeah, they knew what was happening, and we were all like, oh,
[46:15] Speaker 2: anyway that he was like in and around it all
[46:17] Speaker 2: as well, and it was kind of intrusive. But at
[46:19] Speaker 2: the same time, I'm like, I'm doing this in public. Okay,
[46:22] Speaker 2: I can't say to people I have no you can
[46:24] Speaker 2: ask no.
[46:25] Speaker 3: I just think that I don't.
[46:27] Speaker 2: One moment that you can where's my right to tell
[46:29] Speaker 2: you to stop doing what you're doing. I think I
[46:31] Speaker 2: would hate if someone told me to stop doing what
[46:33] Speaker 2: I'm doing, because they're my choices.
[46:35] Speaker 1: Like if someone was like if someone said to me, hey, dude,
[46:39] Speaker 1: I'm just about to do this proposal, could you just
[46:42] Speaker 1: give me five I'd be like, fuck, yeah.
[46:44] Speaker 2: Fine, fine. I think what's not necessary is you posting
[46:49] Speaker 2: it for Clout. That's what I think. I think humans
[46:52] Speaker 2: are going to be humans. And you could see that
[46:54] Speaker 2: there was communication. He communicated and they communicated back. They
[46:58] Speaker 2: could have easily said, hey, can we have five minutes? Okay,
[47:02] Speaker 2: and he probably would have gone totally. But whatever the
[47:05] Speaker 2: has happened there, they felt the need to post that
[47:07] Speaker 2: for Clout. I think that's the real fucking problem. Like,
[47:11] Speaker 2: if you're if you're so worried about one person in
[47:14] Speaker 2: public doing a revealed that you're going to post it
[47:16] Speaker 2: for thousands millions of people to see, you've lost all
[47:20] Speaker 2: right to privacy. I agree.
[47:22] Speaker 3: I agree.
[47:23] Speaker 5: I also don't know why you wouldn't have a moment
[47:25] Speaker 5: like that in private.
[47:27] Speaker 1: I just think because it's on the water, guys, Yeah,
[47:30] Speaker 1: on the water at sunset. I get it.
[47:33] Speaker 4: A photography, but like, I know, that's a beautiful setting.
[47:36] Speaker 2: I never made a big deal this guy who at
[47:38] Speaker 2: our at the proposal, right, he kind of made it
[47:41] Speaker 2: about him in a way, but I still at the
[47:45] Speaker 2: same time, he has free will, right, And I wasn't like, oh,
[47:48] Speaker 2: can you believe this curve drop? No, I'm like, now, whatever,
[47:51] Speaker 2: it was part of the story. Now for me, I
[47:53] Speaker 2: think it's a bit rich to complain about it and
[47:56] Speaker 2: then post it online.
[47:57] Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, But I think in terms of that situation,
[48:01] Speaker 5: like we all exist in the world together. If we
[48:03] Speaker 5: want to do things that like trench on each other's space,
[48:06] Speaker 5: it's just a conversation.
[48:07] Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly right. It's like when it's like when you
[48:10] Speaker 2: go to a tourist attraction and someone's like they're like,
[48:13] Speaker 2: can you get out of the way, I'm trying to
[48:14] Speaker 2: take a photo. It's like, bitch, we're all trying to
[48:16] Speaker 2: take a fucking photo because it's tourist attraction.
[48:19] Speaker 1: Gender revealing or proposal. Then fuck off.
[48:22] Speaker 2: No. But I just think it's like people are just
[48:24] Speaker 2: so entitled to, oh, we got this Jedti because we're
[48:27] Speaker 2: having a thing, So you can't do what the Jedty's
[48:29] Speaker 2: probably been put in here to fucking do because this
[48:31] Speaker 2: guy's it's his hobby, you know what I mean.
[48:33] Speaker 1: I just wish the public would all appreciate and take
[48:36] Speaker 1: more notice of gender reveals.
[48:37] Speaker 2: Because they are you're just rage bating.
[48:41] Speaker 1: Moving right along, how shu it is time for this?
[48:46] Speaker 2: Tell me loud, tell me little segment of parental Lives,
[48:55] Speaker 2: Dirty Dad's Edition, Matt's brought to you by Omo Capsules.
[48:58] Speaker 2: When life gives you laundry, keep up with capsules, and
[49:00] Speaker 2: I will say say it, Ash, I will say this please.
[49:03] Speaker 2: Without a lot of these lies, parenting would be a
[49:06] Speaker 2: lot messier.
[49:07] Speaker 1: Absolutely, I use.
[49:08] Speaker 3: Him to keep the house clean.
[49:11] Speaker 1: And a little reminder, Ash that we do have one
[49:14] Speaker 1: winner from these lies. When we read them all out,
[49:16] Speaker 1: we will select one and one only to receive a
[49:20] Speaker 1: prize pack.
[49:21] Speaker 2: Yes, okay, and what a prize pack? It is? Well said,
[49:24] Speaker 2: I will say, you want to go first? Women go first?
[49:28] Speaker 1: You go first, my friend?
[49:29] Speaker 2: All right? This one's from CALLI. All right, thank you, Kelly.
[49:32] Speaker 1: Sorry call I Kaylee, Kaylee.
[49:36] Speaker 2: I think that's right, Ka Haley, Kylie, Kahlee.
[49:40] Speaker 1: How is it spelled k A?
[49:42] Speaker 2: I h sorry double e.
[49:46] Speaker 3: Lot of owls in this name. Can I buy it out? No,
[49:49] Speaker 3: you've got them already.
[49:50] Speaker 2: Okay. I showed my child a picture of Voldemort and
[49:53] Speaker 2: told him he lost his nose from picking it to him.
[49:56] Speaker 1: Oh my god.
[49:59] Speaker 3: Oh that's actual pretty good.
[50:01] Speaker 2: That's clever considering that it would cause ninemares though, But whatever. Anyway,
[50:04] Speaker 2: you're out. What do you got?
[50:05] Speaker 1: Okay?
[50:06] Speaker 3: This is from Karen, Hello kart spelled.
[50:08] Speaker 1: No, we don't do it with every day Karen. How
[50:12] Speaker 1: are you? She says, if you don't wear your beanie
[50:14] Speaker 1: in the wind, your hair will blow off and you'll
[50:16] Speaker 1: be baled. No one wants that.
[50:21] Speaker 2: It's the little ones that I love the most, where
[50:23] Speaker 2: it's like so simple that a parent's gone.
[50:24] Speaker 1: It is hard to get a beanie on though. Yeah,
[50:28] Speaker 1: the wind at the moment brutal takes. This one's from Jamie,
[50:32] Speaker 1: but it's spelt differently. Go on, I actually do want
[50:35] Speaker 1: to know j A.
[50:36] Speaker 2: I am I jamar Jami j I don't know whatever,
[50:40] Speaker 2: we'll figure it out.
[50:41] Speaker 3: If I got it wrong, I'm sorry.
[50:43] Speaker 2: Okay.
[50:43] Speaker 3: We get a lot of names here.
[50:44] Speaker 2: We get him wrong all the time. If he wants
[50:46] Speaker 2: us to buy one more monster truck, it means we
[50:49] Speaker 2: will have to sell the house.
[50:55] Speaker 1: Is that what you want? Yeah, you want to be homeless?
[50:57] Speaker 1: And for what a monster truck?
[50:59] Speaker 2: I know, I do it with food.
[51:00] Speaker 3: I'll be like, well we won't get to eat then.
[51:03] Speaker 1: I do. I can't wait for the day that my
[51:06] Speaker 1: kids understand the concept of money. Because Marley was like, oh,
[51:09] Speaker 1: I just want some I want some reading glasses because
[51:12] Speaker 1: I think they look cool. Some kids have glasses. And
[51:14] Speaker 1: I'm like, well, who's going to pay for that? And
[51:15] Speaker 1: she's like you are And I'm like you with what money?
[51:18] Speaker 1: And she's like, I don't know, just get some more.
[51:20] Speaker 3: I know, no idea.
[51:22] Speaker 1: And I'm like I'm running.
[51:23] Speaker 2: I'm running out of it.
[51:25] Speaker 1: And she's like, well, how much is left? And I'm like,
[51:28] Speaker 1: not a lot. It's running pretty dry.
[51:30] Speaker 2: Trying to as Oscar was like, I can't. I think
[51:32] Speaker 2: I told you it was a cot was thirty dollars
[51:33] Speaker 2: for a Like, oh my god, it's not. It's not.
[51:38] Speaker 3: Oh we go we can we buy something.
[51:40] Speaker 2: She doesn't work like that.
[51:42] Speaker 1: Okay, so this name is a tricky one. Ash Yeah, Sonia, Sonia, Sonya, Sonya, Sonya, Sonia. Okay, Okay,
[51:51] Speaker 1: So she's like this one's about the nonas.
[51:53] Speaker 3: Oh on brand.
[51:55] Speaker 1: Here he is on topic. Look at you're getting it close.
[51:58] Speaker 1: So Nona told us that there are were in the
[52:01] Speaker 1: trees and they come out at nighttime and they'll take
[52:04] Speaker 1: us after dark.
[52:05] Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's nothing like the threat of impending
[52:11] Speaker 2: kidnapping that really gets a kid moving.
[52:13] Speaker 1: I told you had they not as you're gonna watch
[52:15] Speaker 1: out for them brutal and then but imagine if like
[52:20] Speaker 1: you're having a nice dinner and you gotta like walk
[52:22] Speaker 1: home and the parents would be like, what the fuck
[52:24] Speaker 1: is Cindy? The why is Sonia so scared? Because of
[52:27] Speaker 1: the mother?
[52:28] Speaker 2: The witches are in the trees?
[52:30] Speaker 1: What are you talking abouts? Are like.
[52:34] Speaker 2: They would match those hats too, I reckon little Nanas
[52:37] Speaker 2: staring apart the old witch's hat. Stephanie getting my kids
[52:42] Speaker 2: to leave anywhere by telling them that our dog is
[52:44] Speaker 2: waiting for us.
[52:45] Speaker 3: She definitely isn't She hates the kids, but they.
[52:49] Speaker 2: Feel bad for making her feel lonely, so they do it.
[52:52] Speaker 3: Oh that's kind of sweet.
[52:54] Speaker 2: That is clever. I know. When we get home, the
[52:56] Speaker 2: dogs like you guys again, we have to get back
[52:59] Speaker 2: because the bus.
[53:00] Speaker 1: How about yeah?
[53:01] Speaker 2: Use it? Yeah, it's a good one that's my favorite
[53:03] Speaker 2: so far.
[53:04] Speaker 1: We'll say, oh, I think you like this one. This
[53:07] Speaker 1: one is I'm going to say the favorite to win.
[53:10] Speaker 1: Not to talk from Maddie. She says, I feel like
[53:15] Speaker 1: this is something you would do. Ash Dad used to
[53:18] Speaker 1: give us sleeping pills when we said we couldn't sleep.
[53:22] Speaker 1: I found out in my twenties that would just fight
[53:24] Speaker 1: him and c.
[53:29] Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good classic kisser idiot.
[53:32] Speaker 1: I ete that one.
[53:33] Speaker 2: Okay, I go on, I go, I gotta, I go.
[53:35] Speaker 1: Is that abuse? Potentially?
[53:37] Speaker 2: Potentially I gave us sleeping pills? I thought, oh fuck?
[53:40] Speaker 1: And then imagine if in front of other parents, the
[53:43] Speaker 1: kids are like, Dad, here's a couple of those pills
[53:46] Speaker 1: Hero Orange ones.
[53:50] Speaker 2: You got the pill con.
[53:53] Speaker 3: This one's from Ashley.
[53:54] Speaker 2: You're not going to guess how she spelled Ashley.
[53:56] Speaker 1: A s H l E y wrong.
[54:01] Speaker 2: I g H close, I g H.
[54:04] Speaker 1: That's a mistake.
[54:05] Speaker 2: That's long.
[54:06] Speaker 3: She really wanted that extra syllable.
[54:08] Speaker 1: That's what come on, Ashley.
[54:11] Speaker 2: She tells her kids, don't worry, Daddy won't be long
[54:14] Speaker 2: in the toilet. Straight up. So we have to choose
[54:19] Speaker 2: a prize pack?
[54:20] Speaker 1: Can I do to squeeze one?
[54:21] Speaker 2: More.
[54:22] Speaker 1: Squeeze when I squeeze one more, okay, man, because it's
[54:25] Speaker 1: the Jmi Jmi.
[54:28] Speaker 2: This is I got a Jmi. Who's your Jmi?
[54:32] Speaker 1: How do you spell yours?
[54:32] Speaker 2: J A?
[54:33] Speaker 1: I am I my mind's j y am I.
[54:36] Speaker 3: This is a stitch.
[54:37] Speaker 2: We're getting stitch regularly. This is like, just tell them
[54:40] Speaker 2: it's from someone else.
[54:41] Speaker 1: Jmi so told her kids that she was allergic to cats.
[54:46] Speaker 1: She's not. She just she just hated me. True, she
[54:51] Speaker 1: just hated and didn't want them to ask for one.
[54:54] Speaker 2: Fair enough. I mean it works. Yeah, it's not my favorite.
[54:58] Speaker 1: I will die if I see a cat. Yeah.
[55:00] Speaker 2: I would be more dramatic and be like, you don't
[55:02] Speaker 2: you don't want to see what happens.
[55:05] Speaker 1: Expands, I can't breathe. You don't want to see it.
[55:07] Speaker 2: They'll suffo at you in your sleep. That's what I
[55:10] Speaker 2: was telling. Hey, we need to choose a winner of
[55:12] Speaker 2: this Omo Prize pack, and you choose one. Look, if
[55:16] Speaker 2: I'm going to choose one, I'm going with Stephanie. What Yeah,
[55:19] Speaker 2: Yeahie lying at the dog. The dog mainly because we
[55:24] Speaker 2: all know the dog hates the kids being in the
[55:26] Speaker 2: house and the lie being so completely contradicting to the
[55:30] Speaker 2: actual situation. Really, I really like that sort of stuff.
[55:34] Speaker 2: So that's my pick your prize pack coming your way.
[55:38] Speaker 2: Ready for those capsules, And of course, big thanks to
[55:41] Speaker 2: Omo Capsules for sponsoring this segment of parenting lies. The
[55:43] Speaker 2: Dirty Dad's addition, I think you'll agree with me, Matt.
[55:46] Speaker 2: Without these lies, our houses and our lives be one
[55:49] Speaker 2: hell of a mess.
[55:50] Speaker 1: Well said Ash. I always agree with you when you're.
[55:53] Speaker 3: Right, which is all the time.
[55:56] Speaker 2: Find it in stores at leading retails and use this
[55:58] Speaker 2: directed always keep out of so and reach of children.
[56:01] Speaker 1: And now, if you're a dad watching this and you
[56:03] Speaker 1: think I'd love to use it on my capsules, but
[56:05] Speaker 1: I don't know how to do the washing, good news,
[56:07] Speaker 1: As you and I have done a tutorial on how
[56:10] Speaker 1: to do the washing at home.
[56:11] Speaker 3: Oh, it's going to be riveting stuff.
[56:13] Speaker 1: So go watch it. If you're a wife watching it,
[56:15] Speaker 1: being like I'd love my husband to be educated, good news,
[56:17] Speaker 1: send them the video.
[56:18] Speaker 2: We're here to educate.
[56:20] Speaker 3: We're here first and foremost education.
[56:23] Speaker 1: If you've enjoyed this episode, don't forget don't forget it.
[56:26] Speaker 1: It's very important. You need to give us a subscribe
[56:29] Speaker 1: to the episodes come directly into your inbox. And also
[56:32] Speaker 1: remember a couple of reviews Apple podcast, and then you
[56:36] Speaker 1: can give us an individual give us two reviews, go
[56:39] Speaker 1: on Apple first, Spotify second. On each individual episode, give
[56:42] Speaker 1: us three, give us can you give us a third?
[56:44] Speaker 1: And then comment somewhere on social media anywhere. And then
[56:48] Speaker 1: once you'd done those three, your job is done.
[56:50] Speaker 2: Yes two any days on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, shorts, ah.
[56:54] Speaker 1: And else the Facebook group.
[56:57] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we forgot about the Facebook group thriving always?
[57:00] Speaker 1: Are we at five? K yea?
[57:02] Speaker 2: We must be edging?
[57:03] Speaker 1: Yeah we're very close, yes, very close, just.
[57:06] Speaker 2: The way I like it.
[57:07] Speaker 1: And we will see you all next week.
[57:10] Speaker 2: Guess Monday there's a housekeeping episode, so please keep your
[57:12] Speaker 2: ears and eyes out for that. But if you subscribe,
[57:13] Speaker 2: it'll be in your imbols where to go.
[57:15] Speaker 1: There He is the man.
[57:16] Speaker 2: The messaging MARCLEA.
[57:29] Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
[57:33] Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
[57:37] Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
[57:39] Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight islander
[57:42] Speaker 2: People's Today. This episode was recorded on gadaigle Land

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