# The First Quest: The Neighbour, The Pube and The Wardrobe

An episode of [Sex.Life](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1682116236), 3 Jun 2025, 1 h 00 min.

Audio: https://pdst.fm/e/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/b6e57592-81b4-43ae-aeea-afe201571891/efae4760-d4ce-4db0-8bac-b2f00172f85a/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=ac6c0115-835b-4807-ba08-afe201580f7e

Content Warning: R18, Language and Sexual Material May Offend. In this episode, I talk about a relationship I had with an older man when I was young. I acknowledge this might be a sensitive issue for some listeners, so if this might stir up negative feelings for you, you may want to skip this episode. Welcome back to Sex.Life! Season 3 is here, and Somatic Sexologist Morgan Penn is taking us on her quest to find love. In this episode Morgan takes us back to the start - her thirteen-year-old self. Horny teenage Morgan falls for her sexy older neighbour and desperately tries everything to get his attention. She hides in a wardrobe to spy on him, skips school for days to pull off her plan to learn his name and develops a faux passion for rugby. There’s plenty more boys on the scene too; Drama Boy serenades Morgan under the full moon before her smooch premiere, she loses a pube to Dovey Dick and Shannon writes her a sweet, yet cringey, love letter. Plus, there’s some awkward teeth mashing, dry humping and Hayley’s first orgasm, before we end with a new style of Homeplay where Morgan takes us deeper... Wild Secrets is the proud sponsor of the Sex.Life podcast. With 30 years’ experience behind the scenes and between the sheets helping Kiwi’s live their best Sex.Life Wild Secrets have the biggest range and best prices. Use promo code sex.life for a 20% discount on your next purchase at wildsecrets.co.nz. Hungry for more? Watch Pillow Talk, where Morgan pulls back the covers on the stories behind the podcast—think deeper dives, photos, surprise guests (including a few of the boys), and a weekly debrief with her glorious Mumma Kez. Morgan Insta: @morganthesexologist Hayley Insta: @hayleysproull ZM Podcast Network: @ZMOnline See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:04] Speaker 1: Sex.Life brought to you by Wild Secrets. The ZDM Podcast Network.
[0:11] Speaker 1: I literally feel like I'm ready to raw dog it,
[0:13] Speaker 1: but I just realized we should probably give a warning.
[0:15] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[0:16] Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
[0:17] Speaker 3: I think we should warm them up a bit with
[0:19] Speaker 3: a warning.
[0:19] Speaker 1: Yeah. Like sometimes I just want to say no. Like
[0:22] Speaker 1: get in and be like, just listen to it. Yeah.
[0:25] Speaker 1: But what we will say is that this is a R18.
[0:28] Speaker 1: It is not for, oh, I've got a little bubble
[0:29] Speaker 1: in my throat. We could do it like this.
[0:31] Speaker 2: You know when you swallow and you've got that sort
[0:32] Speaker 2: of strange bubble? Yes.
[0:34] Speaker 3: And you kind of sound English.
[0:35] Speaker 1: Yeah. We would like to give this content warning that
[0:39] Speaker 1: this podcast, there'll be more than bubbles in throats. What?
[0:43] Speaker 3: I think that says it all, really.
[0:44] Speaker 1: Okay, enjoy.
[0:45] Speaker 3: Not for little bears.
[0:45] Speaker 1: Goodbye. I'm so excited. Well, I wasn't frigging myself off
[0:54] Speaker 1: in there, just to be clear. I said to him,
[0:57] Speaker 1: why did you pull my pube out? That was the
[0:59] Speaker 1: first penis I touched. Like, I now remember how smooth
[1:03] Speaker 1: it was.
[1:04] Speaker 3: So smooth.
[1:09] Speaker 1: Okay. Oh, here we are. Hi. Hi. It's like a
[1:14] Speaker 1: whole new relationship. Yeah, I know.
[1:17] Speaker 3: Every time we come back in the studio together.
[1:19] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[1:20] Speaker 3: You're my long lost lover.
[1:21] Speaker 1: I know.
[1:22] Speaker 3: Should we do our formalities?
[1:24] Speaker 1: Yes, let's do the housekeeping. Okay. Welcome to sex.life. This
[1:29] Speaker 1: isn't my job. I don't do this bit. I just
[1:31] Speaker 1: thought I'd give it a try.
[1:32] Speaker 3: I like it. You sounded good on you.
[1:34] Speaker 2: Okay. Welcome to sex.life. This is a juicy podcast. hosted
[1:38] Speaker 2: by somatic sexologist and absolute legend, Morgan Penn.
[1:41] Speaker 3: Thank you. I'd also like to add lover of sockets,
[1:45] Speaker 3: dry humps. Far out.
[1:45] Speaker 1: We need to talk about that.
[1:47] Speaker 2: Anyway, lover of sockets, dry humps, slow to get the
[1:51] Speaker 2: pee into the V, slow pee-er.
[1:54] Speaker 3: She pees slowly. It's good for the body.
[1:56] Speaker 1: You are way too fast at that. We've been through
[1:58] Speaker 1: this for three seasons now. G-string lover... Oh, yes. Can't
[2:06] Speaker 1: help but tell the world about everything that I do
[2:09] Speaker 1: with my body. Over Shearer.
[2:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be the word. That we have in common.
[2:12] Speaker 1: Yes.
[2:12] Speaker 2: And I'm Hayley Sproul, her sidekick. who is not a
[2:17] Speaker 2: lover of the sock yet. I've become a lover deeply.
[2:20] Speaker 1: Of tube socks.
[2:20] Speaker 3: It's all I wear now.
[2:23] Speaker 1: And lover of PNV, lover of.
[2:25] Speaker 3: PN quite quickly.
[2:27] Speaker 1: Yes, big open heart. Big open heart.
[2:29] Speaker 3: Hilarious.
[2:30] Speaker 1: Very funny. And a big oversharer as well.
[2:33] Speaker 3: And we are here. Well, that's why we're a good team.
[2:36] Speaker 1: Yeah, we are. Hey, it's not just the two of
[2:38] Speaker 1: us though. No, we have got A new producer, I
[2:42] Speaker 1: would just like to say that our darling Helen is
[2:44] Speaker 1: no longer with us. Well, she's alive. Fuck it out.
[2:47] Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this isn't who you, Lateef.
[2:50] Speaker 2: Great guys, we need to start the podcast. No, Helen
[2:54] Speaker 2: is alive and thriving, honeys.
[2:56] Speaker 3: Sorry, Helen.
[2:57] Speaker 1: We love you so much and we're sad that you're
[2:59] Speaker 1: not with us this season.
[3:00] Speaker 3: Still a poussoir.
[3:01] Speaker 1: You are so a poussoir. But our new empowered poussoir
[3:06] Speaker 1: is Rachel. Rachel.
[3:08] Speaker 3: Hi Rach. Hi guys.
[3:09] Speaker 1: Hi. And Rachel has been one of my best friends
[3:13] Speaker 1: for over 15 years.
[3:14] Speaker 3: Lucky me.
[3:15] Speaker 1: Aww. And I have also got the most incredible title
[3:21] Speaker 1: of Aunty Morgz to her two beautiful children. And it's
[3:25] Speaker 1: really fitting that she's here for this season. And we'll
[3:29] Speaker 1: go into what this season's about soon, but a big
[3:31] Speaker 1: piece of it is love. And she was the first
[3:35] Speaker 1: person who I really felt love from, like on a
[3:38] Speaker 1: friendship level. I let her love me and I loved
[3:42] Speaker 1: her back. And yeah, I've had a lot of people
[3:45] Speaker 1: show up in my life wanting to love me and
[3:47] Speaker 1: I haven't actually let them. That's really beautiful.
[3:52] Speaker 2: Wow.
[3:52] Speaker 3: You know, I really had to work for that love. No,
[3:55] Speaker 3: I'm sorry. No, don't be. It was worth it. It's
[3:58] Speaker 3: really paid off because, man, you love me and I
[4:00] Speaker 3: love you.
[4:01] Speaker 1: I love you guys too.
[4:04] Speaker 2: I love you guys too. We're new loves and morgues,
[4:07] Speaker 2: you know, we're still fresh.
[4:10] Speaker 1: We are. We've got some history, though, and that's what
[4:12] Speaker 1: takes good love, you know.
[4:14] Speaker 3: You can't just rush these things.
[4:16] Speaker 1: No, you can't rush love. So now that we've got
[4:18] Speaker 1: a new empowered hussoir in the mix. What I like
[4:22] Speaker 1: to do for every season is a bonding experience to
[4:25] Speaker 1: get us all back together, get the juices flowing. Last year,
[4:29] Speaker 1: we went and you and I, Hayley, we got our
[4:31] Speaker 1: vulvas cast. And this year, I managed to get you
[4:35] Speaker 1: all to an undie party. We sure did.
[4:39] Speaker 3: It felt like initiation.
[4:41] Speaker 1: Yeah. You know? Yeah.
[4:43] Speaker 3: Would originally you have ever gone to anything like that? No,
[4:47] Speaker 3: absolutely not.
[4:49] Speaker 2: It's interesting, even the small journey that I've been on
[4:52] Speaker 2: with Morgan over the last couple of years, she asked
[4:55] Speaker 2: me to do a couple of things in season one.
[4:56] Speaker 3: I was like, no.
[4:57] Speaker 2: You asked me to do a boudoir shirt. I was like,
[4:59] Speaker 2: absolutely not. In season two, she was like, you could
[5:01] Speaker 2: come to an undie party.
[5:02] Speaker 1: Like, there's no sex. You could just come to an
[5:03] Speaker 1: undie party.
[5:03] Speaker 3: I was like, fuck, no.
[5:05] Speaker 1: Absolutely not. Then this year, do you want to come
[5:08] Speaker 1: to an undie party?
[5:08] Speaker 3: I was like, yes. Sign me up. I'm doing lingerie.
[5:10] Speaker 3: I'm buying this.
[5:12] Speaker 1: Like, just a very small little mark of my journey
[5:14] Speaker 1: was going to that party. Yeah.
[5:16] Speaker 3: And how did you find it? I had an amazing time.
[5:23] Speaker 2: I was really, like, overwhelmed by the whole– Like just
[5:27] Speaker 2: the logistics, it was huge, it was big, it was loud.
[5:30] Speaker 2: There were like more bits than I ever thought.
[5:32] Speaker 3: There was a lot going on.
[5:34] Speaker 2: I was definitely nervous because I had a butt pimple
[5:37] Speaker 2: and I wanted that to be like covered. And then
[5:41] Speaker 2: you get there and you're like, ain't nobody caring about
[5:44] Speaker 2: your butt pimple.
[5:44] Speaker 1: No.
[5:45] Speaker 3: No one's looking at it.
[5:46] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[5:47] Speaker 2: What an incredibly like liberating experience. I think I was
[5:50] Speaker 2: texting Morgan the next day from the hotel bed as
[5:52] Speaker 2: I was coming to life.
[5:54] Speaker 1: I was like, I feel very liberated by the thing. Yeah. Yeah.
[5:59] Speaker 2: I actually couldn't believe how very much me the environment was.
[6:03] Speaker 2: I was like, oh my God, how has this taken
[6:04] Speaker 2: so many years? How am I 35 and just doing
[6:06] Speaker 2: this for the first time?
[6:07] Speaker 3: You were thriving. Yeah, I know.
[6:09] Speaker 2: I woke up with multiple bruises on my legs.
[6:13] Speaker 3: I'd lost a couple of things.
[6:14] Speaker 2: Oh my God, the sheets of the hotel room I
[6:16] Speaker 2: stayed at were covered in glitter. And I just, the hair,
[6:20] Speaker 2: my hair was.
[6:23] Speaker 1: drenched. Your whole body was drenched at one bit. I
[6:25] Speaker 1: thought you'd been hydrosliding.
[6:27] Speaker 3: Yeah, I was sweating.
[6:28] Speaker 1: It was so funny, Hayley, because obviously I've been before,
[6:31] Speaker 1: but a lot of people recognised us there. I know.
[6:34] Speaker 2: There was even one moment, and it wasn't a huge
[6:37] Speaker 2: concern to me, but I was like, oh, that might happen.
[6:40] Speaker 3: And here I am and nipples are visible and a
[6:42] Speaker 3: G-string and all that kind of stuff.
[6:43] Speaker 4: My point of view on this is, first of all,
[6:45] Speaker 4: I've barely been out in like six years. So then
[6:48] Speaker 4: I'm at this club with all of these like powerful, hyper, undie-wearing,
[6:52] Speaker 4: amazing people, which just couldn't be further from my normal life.
[6:55] Speaker 3: And I'm thinking, what would the school mums think of this? Yeah,
[6:58] Speaker 3: think of you. And then I'm like, actually, I think
[7:00] Speaker 3: they'd quite like to be here.
[7:02] Speaker 4: And then at the end of the night, I walked
[7:04] Speaker 4: across Ponsonby Road in my undies, got back in my car,
[7:06] Speaker 4: went home, and I share a bed still with my three-year-old.
[7:09] Speaker 4: And I got to, like, snuggle up with my little baby.
[7:11] Speaker 4: And it's just such an interesting, immediate consideration.
[7:15] Speaker 3: Of, like, these two parts of you. that exist when
[7:17] Speaker 3: you're a monkey.
[7:18] Speaker 1: Yeah totally that's so nice.
[7:20] Speaker 3: And then I farted and she said.
[7:22] Speaker 2: What we're so happy you're here listeners but if you
[7:30] Speaker 2: are just dropping in and this is your first time
[7:32] Speaker 2: hi hello this is us but you can't stay okay
[7:35] Speaker 2: you have to go back to the start you.
[7:37] Speaker 3: Can't just come in Unwarmed up foreplay.
[7:40] Speaker 1: It's true. That's how you get the understanding of who
[7:43] Speaker 1: we are, the journeys we've been on.
[7:45] Speaker 3: What we're doing. Things my body has done.
[7:47] Speaker 1: Yeah. And why I'm here at season three on my
[7:52] Speaker 1: quest for love. Cute. A quest for love. Okay, Morgan,
[8:01] Speaker 1: so you're on a quest for love.
[8:03] Speaker 3: Where the hell do we start? I'm trying to figure
[8:06] Speaker 3: it out. I'm a sexologist.
[8:08] Speaker 1: I help couples have more love, have more pleasure, have
[8:12] Speaker 1: great sex. And I can really look at couples and
[8:15] Speaker 1: I can see the blind spots. I feel like I've
[8:18] Speaker 1: had a blind spot in love and I haven't been
[8:22] Speaker 1: able to figure it out. And I also feel like
[8:24] Speaker 1: I'm this person in life that has this big question about,
[8:27] Speaker 1: is it predestined for us? How much of it can
[8:30] Speaker 1: we control ourselves? Yeah.
[8:33] Speaker 3: And so your question, where do we start? I think
[8:35] Speaker 3: we have to start at the beginning. Yeah, for sure.
[8:37] Speaker 1: I love love.
[8:39] Speaker 3: I love being in love.
[8:40] Speaker 1: But it's also, it's a disaster as well.
[8:44] Speaker 3: For context, I'm in a 14-year relationship. Love changes.
[8:47] Speaker 2: I've known this of you for a long time. You're
[8:48] Speaker 2: yearning to be a mum. You're yearning to have love
[8:51] Speaker 2: and find your person. And sometimes I'm like, it's.
[8:53] Speaker 1: Really full on.
[8:55] Speaker 3: I'm like, it's really, it's admin heavy.
[8:58] Speaker 2: And not to ever deter you from wanting to find love,
[9:00] Speaker 2: because I think we all should, but I'm like, I
[9:03] Speaker 2: think when you're not in love, love can be very romanticised,
[9:05] Speaker 2: to use that word.
[9:06] Speaker 1: I really, really get that. I do think that there is,
[9:10] Speaker 1: especially of our generation, the Disney movies have really done
[9:15] Speaker 1: a doozy on us. I've never wanted to fuck a prince, though.
[9:17] Speaker 3: What? No, you know my style.
[9:19] Speaker 1: What about Aladdin?
[9:21] Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, Aladdin's hot.
[9:22] Speaker 1: But I don't like the clean-cut, blonde chisel.
[9:26] Speaker 3: That's not me.
[9:27] Speaker 1: Those big chins though to sit on I mean.
[9:29] Speaker 2: Yeah good seat it's a good seat yeah but no
[9:33] Speaker 2: the princes never did it for me okay you wanted
[9:35] Speaker 2: Shrek Shrek is more my type I know than bloody
[9:39] Speaker 2: prince charming.
[9:40] Speaker 1: Yeah I get it oh gosh yeah so I do
[9:43] Speaker 1: understand that part of me and as you'll learn in
[9:47] Speaker 1: this podcast I have been in the trenches I've been
[9:49] Speaker 1: in a five-year relationship before You know, I've seen the
[9:52] Speaker 1: shit hard bits, but I also look at myself back
[9:55] Speaker 1: then and the stuff that I was doing to contribute
[9:57] Speaker 1: to that. Whereas I feel like I've done so much
[9:59] Speaker 1: of my own work and growth that I feel like
[10:02] Speaker 1: surely now I can. be in a healthy, loving, sexual,
[10:06] Speaker 1: wild relationship.
[10:08] Speaker 2: Because when you imagine this love that you would find,
[10:12] Speaker 2: is it the house, the baby, the mortgage, the cars,
[10:16] Speaker 2: the hi honey, I'm home, the dinner, the movies on
[10:18] Speaker 2: the couch?
[10:19] Speaker 1: Yes.
[10:19] Speaker 3: That's exactly it.
[10:20] Speaker 1: Where's Morgan sucking dick in front of a room.
[10:23] Speaker 3: Full of people at sex school?
[10:24] Speaker 1: Is she gone? Well, no, get better funeral stories. Do
[10:29] Speaker 1: not throw that back in my face.
[10:31] Speaker 2: Look, I will always play devil's advocate because I'm not anti-love,
[10:34] Speaker 2: but I'm like, there is that part of you that
[10:36] Speaker 2: will always be there.
[10:37] Speaker 3: I know. Are we a non-monogamous person in the future?
[10:41] Speaker 1: Well, I want to be open to not being. But
[10:44] Speaker 1: then I think I fiercely want that right now, you know,
[10:47] Speaker 1: so I don't know. But I'm a Gemini as well.
[10:49] Speaker 1: It's like all these different bits to me.
[10:51] Speaker 3: And I never want to be put in a box.
[10:55] Speaker 1: I know.
[10:56] Speaker 3: It's a shame.
[10:56] Speaker 1: I've always said it's a shame you're not bisexual. I
[10:59] Speaker 1: love being in a box. But, you know, maybe give
[11:03] Speaker 1: me 10 years with the same penis and I will
[11:05] Speaker 1: want a box. Yeah, exactly. I want to have the
[11:06] Speaker 1: freedom of that. But I guess what I want to
[11:09] Speaker 1: show with this is, is that I see a lot
[11:11] Speaker 1: of women, especially, who are single, who really want to
[11:15] Speaker 1: be in union as well. And I think the single
[11:17] Speaker 1: journey is different for everybody. Yes. So I'm not saying
[11:20] Speaker 1: that I'm speaking for all single people, right? So many
[11:23] Speaker 1: people don't want to be in a relationship or they
[11:26] Speaker 1: just fucking love it and they're out there rooting and
[11:29] Speaker 1: tooting or they're at home reading their smut and the
[11:32] Speaker 1: thought of sharing a bed with somebody else is blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[11:35] Speaker 1: So I think with this, I just want people to
[11:38] Speaker 1: feel less alone. I'm trying to figure out, is there
[11:41] Speaker 1: a code to crack in love that I'm missing here?
[11:45] Speaker 3: You know, what more can I do?
[11:47] Speaker 1: Because....
[11:48] Speaker 3: I'll say it.
[11:49] Speaker 1: What more can you do? You're a sexologist. Immediately enticing.
[11:53] Speaker 2: And I know that that's not the attitude you want
[11:54] Speaker 2: from a man, but when men hear it, they're like,
[11:56] Speaker 2: that's hot.
[11:57] Speaker 3: Yeah, or they're terrified.
[11:58] Speaker 1: Totally.
[11:59] Speaker 2: You're a very open person and you're exquisitely stunning. You're
[12:03] Speaker 2: a lot of fun.
[12:04] Speaker 1: Maybe. Sometimes I look at you and I go, how
[12:06] Speaker 1: has this bitch struggled to get a partner?
[12:09] Speaker 3: Well, that's a good question.
[12:10] Speaker 1: Well, firstly, thank you. But it's funny because I have
[12:14] Speaker 1: had these stories of like, nobody wants me. Yes. And
[12:19] Speaker 1: actually Rachel was quite good for me with these things
[12:21] Speaker 1: because I'll be like, there's no one, there's no one
[12:23] Speaker 1: wants me. And she's like, haven't you said like, no
[12:27] Speaker 1: to like denied like five guys in the last month
[12:30] Speaker 1: yeah there's like literally a.
[12:31] Speaker 4: Queue of men who have been or are in love
[12:33] Speaker 4: with Morgan so let's just acknowledge that.
[12:35] Speaker 2: Yeah thank you thank you because I know this too
[12:38] Speaker 2: so many of my friends and it comes from a
[12:41] Speaker 2: place of respect and love are like Jesus Christ that
[12:43] Speaker 2: Morgan pen eh and I'm like yeah man I know
[12:46] Speaker 2: she's a cat So it's not like.
[12:48] Speaker 1: Where are they? Can we have some... They're literally everywhere.
[12:51] Speaker 1: Can we have some men behind curtains that I can
[12:53] Speaker 1: reveal so I can see them? Please bring in the
[12:55] Speaker 1: men that are in love with Morgan Penn. Hi. Come
[12:58] Speaker 1: to me, baby.
[12:59] Speaker 3: And they're like, man, you're a sexologist. I'll beat you
[13:01] Speaker 3: fuck like crazy. And I'm like, dude, do you know
[13:04] Speaker 3: how long it's going to take to get that pee
[13:05] Speaker 3: in the V? Exactly. Kiss my ankle. Kiss my ankle.
[13:08] Speaker 3: We start there.
[13:09] Speaker 1: Look into my eyes and kiss my ankle and then
[13:11] Speaker 1: you can go home. Come back tomorrow with cheese scones. Yes. Oh, yeah.
[13:16] Speaker 2: So.
[13:17] Speaker 1: We're going back to 13-year-old Morgan because that is where
[13:21] Speaker 1: it started. It's funny. You know, I can talk about
[13:24] Speaker 1: the wrestling that I did at that sex party. I
[13:27] Speaker 1: can talk about, yeah, giving gobbies in the temple. I can,
[13:31] Speaker 1: you know. Talk about the slip sliding body slides from
[13:33] Speaker 1: the personal massage. Exactly. And shouting over the Harbour Bridge,
[13:36] Speaker 1: you know, like in the past seasons, it's felt really
[13:40] Speaker 1: easy to share those stories. Yes.
[13:42] Speaker 3: This feels hard for me. Interesting.
[13:44] Speaker 1: These are my tender parts. For years, I have acted like, oh,
[13:50] Speaker 1: I want to be single. I'm all good with it.
[13:53] Speaker 1: It's literally only been since starting sex.life that I've been
[13:57] Speaker 1: honest with myself and the world about my true desires.
[14:02] Speaker 1: And now we're literally ripping off the scabs of every
[14:06] Speaker 1: little tender part.
[14:08] Speaker 3: And I think.
[14:10] Speaker 1: We're going to fall in love with this younger Morgan
[14:13] Speaker 1: because she's so wild. And then we're going to see
[14:19] Speaker 1: how I'm shaped. Yeah.
[14:21] Speaker 3: And then we're going to see if I can, in fact,
[14:23] Speaker 3: find my one true love.
[14:25] Speaker 1: I love this. I love this.
[14:28] Speaker 4: Okay.
[14:29] Speaker 2: Okay, where would you like to begin with 13-year-old Morgan?
[14:32] Speaker 2: I want to meet her and introduce her to 13-year-old Hayley.
[14:35] Speaker 2: I think it would be helpful.
[14:36] Speaker 1: Oh, this is gorgeous. Yeah. Yes.
[14:39] Speaker 3: Because I don't think we would have been friends.
[14:41] Speaker 1: I was really into retro clothes. I would get my
[14:44] Speaker 1: mum to cut my jeans at the bottom and then
[14:48] Speaker 1: put a big silk retro scarf in the bottom to
[14:51] Speaker 1: make big flares. Yeah, great. Okay, so that's like her fashion.
[14:55] Speaker 1: Op shop queen.
[14:56] Speaker 3: Yeah. Over-plucked eyebrows.
[14:57] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We might have been friends because I
[15:00] Speaker 1: was doing a lot of– Amateur dramatics. Well, maybe. I was,
[15:04] Speaker 1: nice to meet you. And I hate your flares because
[15:08] Speaker 1: I'm a goth. Oh, ew. Yeah.
[15:10] Speaker 2: And I'm listening to Marilyn Manson and Cradle of Filth
[15:14] Speaker 2: and I think I am a witch.
[15:16] Speaker 1: Oh, gosh.
[15:17] Speaker 3: And I think I'm bisexual for the first time in
[15:19] Speaker 3: my life.
[15:20] Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy? Well, to be fair, I was kind
[15:22] Speaker 1: of dry humping like my girlfriends at sleepovers. Do you know, okay,
[15:25] Speaker 1: I just, fuck it because it's sex.life, I'll say this.
[15:28] Speaker 1: Do you know the first time I ever... Oh, fuck,
[15:30] Speaker 1: am I going to say it?
[15:32] Speaker 3: Yeah. Safe place.
[15:34] Speaker 2: The first time I ever had an orgasm, it was
[15:36] Speaker 2: from a woman.
[15:37] Speaker 1: Wow.
[15:37] Speaker 3: It was from a girl, like a girlfriend. Was it like,
[15:41] Speaker 3: was she trying?
[15:41] Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah?
[15:43] Speaker 3: Was it her phalanges or her mouth?
[15:45] Speaker 2: I think it was part of this like gothy image
[15:48] Speaker 2: and we.
[15:49] Speaker 3: All decided for a couple of years that we were like, bye.
[15:51] Speaker 3: I don't think we knew what that was.
[15:53] Speaker 1: Right. And then we just liked to pash. We just
[15:56] Speaker 1: liked to pash my friends. Yeah.
[15:57] Speaker 2: And then, yeah, a particular friend of mine, we were like,
[16:04] Speaker 2: oh my God, have you heard about.
[16:08] Speaker 3: Cunnilingus?
[16:10] Speaker 1: Did she use that word? No. What was it?
[16:13] Speaker 3: Eating out or something, whatever you called it back then.
[16:15] Speaker 1: Eating out. Going down.
[16:17] Speaker 3: Yeah, going down. And we like tried it on each other.
[16:21] Speaker 1: Oh.
[16:21] Speaker 3: And I remember being like, oh, something's happening.
[16:23] Speaker 1: This is very weird.
[16:24] Speaker 3: It felt so good.
[16:25] Speaker 1: I don't know.
[16:26] Speaker 2: I think it felt very confusing at the time. Like,
[16:28] Speaker 2: because it was so good, but I was like, what
[16:29] Speaker 2: the fuck is that?
[16:30] Speaker 1: Yeah. Crazy, eh? Wow.
[16:32] Speaker 3: So there was that, yeah.
[16:33] Speaker 1: Wow. Thank you for sharing that. Bizarre.
[16:35] Speaker 3: But I feel like... It feels too early in the podcast,
[16:37] Speaker 3: I'll say it.
[16:37] Speaker 1: No, absolutely not. Never too soon. No. To dunk straight
[16:41] Speaker 1: into the wet parts. Yeah. I think that would be
[16:44] Speaker 1: a very common occurrence for a lot of teenage girls.
[16:48] Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of girls... that grew
[16:51] Speaker 1: up to be a woman that was straight would not
[16:53] Speaker 1: even acknowledge that explorative face.
[16:55] Speaker 2: Oh my God, they'd be like, that didn't really happen.
[16:57] Speaker 2: That wasn't really a thing. Or like, no, we were
[16:59] Speaker 2: just mucking around. I'm like, no, no, we were like
[17:01] Speaker 2: fully being quite full on.
[17:03] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[17:04] Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think it's actually a beautiful kind of
[17:06] Speaker 1: maiden archetype coming of age way. Like it's a, really
[17:10] Speaker 1: safe way to start to explore your body, pleasure.
[17:14] Speaker 3: You know, if these are your girlfriends, it's, yeah.
[17:17] Speaker 1: Funny.
[17:18] Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm there being a weird bisexual witch.
[17:21] Speaker 1: Yes.
[17:22] Speaker 2: And you've got your mum's handiwork on your flares.
[17:26] Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I was definitely a good girl back then.
[17:30] Speaker 1: Like I remember my first day of college, I'd moved
[17:32] Speaker 1: from a port-a-key, a really small rural town, And the borders,
[17:36] Speaker 1: I hung out with the borders at the start because
[17:38] Speaker 1: they were all new. And there's a girl who had
[17:39] Speaker 1: like hickeys all over her neck. And she was like, honestly,
[17:42] Speaker 1: I said, I don't care what you do to me tonight,
[17:44] Speaker 1: but do not leave me with hickeys for my first
[17:46] Speaker 1: day of school.
[17:47] Speaker 3: And I hadn't even had my first kiss.
[17:49] Speaker 1: God, no.
[17:50] Speaker 3: And I was like, shook. So I was a good girl.
[17:54] Speaker 1: And I really wasn't that interested in boys, to be honest,
[17:58] Speaker 1: until I came home from school one day. And across
[18:02] Speaker 1: the road from our new house, there was a guy
[18:04] Speaker 1: sitting on his balcony with a cap on backwards.
[18:08] Speaker 3: Rachel's going to laugh at that. Because men who have
[18:13] Speaker 3: caps is like hot to walk.
[18:14] Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
[18:14] Speaker 3: Like she'll swipe. Yeah, I get it. If he's got
[18:17] Speaker 3: a hat, I'm like, she's like, oh, is he wearing
[18:19] Speaker 3: a hat?
[18:19] Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you know what? I get it. I get it.
[18:23] Speaker 3: I don't know why I get it, but I get it.
[18:25] Speaker 3: It hides some sins or something. I don't know. And
[18:27] Speaker 3: it's sort of like.
[18:28] Speaker 1: Casual? Yeah. What was that? Do you know what I mean?
[18:32] Speaker 4: I don't know.
[18:33] Speaker 1: Some casual guys. I don't know. Hair.
[18:35] Speaker 3: It's a graph.
[18:37] Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's my inner boy racer lover, you know?
[18:41] Speaker 2: Maybe.
[18:41] Speaker 1: But he had these big bulging biceps and like it
[18:45] Speaker 1: was like shining.
[18:46] Speaker 3: And when I look back, I'm like, what a God.
[18:48] Speaker 3: I can see it in my 13-year-old's eyes.
[18:51] Speaker 1: It was like a movie moment where life stops and
[18:54] Speaker 1: it's like everything has now changed. Mm-hmm. And I just
[18:58] Speaker 1: was in lust. And I felt activated in my body.
[19:03] Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, my God. I got out
[19:06] Speaker 1: of my uniform, but I didn't want to put my
[19:08] Speaker 1: old retro clothes on anymore.
[19:09] Speaker 3: I wanted something new.
[19:10] Speaker 1: It's not mama's flares. No. I made mom that next
[19:14] Speaker 1: weekend take me to Glassons. Like, I wanted new clothes.
[19:18] Speaker 3: You wanted to look like a woman. Yes, I did.
[19:20] Speaker 1: For this man. Yeah. From then on, I was like,
[19:23] Speaker 1: that guy is who I'm in love with. Whoa.
[19:27] Speaker 3: I know.
[19:27] Speaker 1: It's quite weird, isn't it? Yeah. Just to have such
[19:30] Speaker 1: a stirring. And I think that's when I started masturbating. Yes.
[19:34] Speaker 1: Because I was just like, I'm horny. I'm feeling things
[19:37] Speaker 1: I haven't felt. What did you know of masturbation before
[19:39] Speaker 1: you tried it? I think I've always been a little
[19:42] Speaker 1: like rubber. I think when I used to do it younger,
[19:45] Speaker 1: I think it was just like, it just felt good.
[19:47] Speaker 1: And there was nothing really sexy about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curious.
[19:50] Speaker 1: Whereas like, yeah, now at this point, I'm... picturing this
[19:55] Speaker 1: guy I'm picturing him kissing me holding my hand wow
[20:00] Speaker 1: I know can you imagine yeah I mean I'd never
[20:03] Speaker 1: had that from a guy so it was all like
[20:05] Speaker 1: this fantasy of what could be yeah but the thing
[20:09] Speaker 1: is that I wanted to look at him as much
[20:10] Speaker 1: as I could and the best in my house to
[20:14] Speaker 1: view his house was from my little brother's bedroom. Oh, no.
[20:20] Speaker 1: But the thing is that you could see right in
[20:24] Speaker 1: to that window, and so I knew that he'd see
[20:27] Speaker 1: me if he just saw me standing gawking. Hey.
[20:30] Speaker 4: Hello.
[20:31] Speaker 3: It's me.
[20:32] Speaker 1: Hello. I found that if you got into the wardrobe
[20:36] Speaker 1: and you crooked. Absolute psycho. Absolutely. At the door, a
[20:41] Speaker 1: little bit, there was a crack. And you could just,
[20:44] Speaker 1: one eye, crack, and you could see everything. Oh, God,
[20:49] Speaker 1: that's such an odd image. I'm standing in my buddy's wardrobe.
[20:53] Speaker 1: Let's hit a crack. Well, I wasn't frigging myself off
[20:56] Speaker 1: in there, just to be clear. You're not feeling your
[21:00] Speaker 1: ghoulies in the wardrobe? Turkey giblets are well away, but
[21:03] Speaker 1: I was just– I wondered how long it was going
[21:06] Speaker 1: to take for them to turn up in season three.
[21:08] Speaker 1: Not that long, apparently. But I, yeah, it was unwell.
[21:14] Speaker 1: If it was a grown woman doing that, that's really unwell. Yeah, yeah.
[21:20] Speaker 2: We're not condoning that behaviour, by the way. If you
[21:22] Speaker 2: get a good view of your neighbour, we're not like, oh,
[21:23] Speaker 2: my God, try the wardrobe.
[21:24] Speaker 1: They won't be able to see you. She's a kid.
[21:27] Speaker 3: Okay, I'm embarrassed. No, it's okay.
[21:30] Speaker 1: It's beautiful. Because it's honest and it's shy and it's embarrassing.
[21:34] Speaker 3: Yes, I do feel shy.
[21:35] Speaker 1: And you don't know. No.
[21:36] Speaker 3: You don't know. And you just, like, want to look.
[21:38] Speaker 1: I just want to see him again.
[21:40] Speaker 3: What is this thing?
[21:41] Speaker 1: I want his biceps. Yes. No, it's very innocent.
[21:44] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[21:44] Speaker 3: Grown woman, unwell. Young woman, innocent.
[21:50] Speaker 1: Right. Yeah. We encourage it. We encourage it.
[21:53] Speaker 3: They're curious. If you're under 14.
[21:55] Speaker 1: Yeah. After that, unwell. Unwell. What's really interesting is that
[22:04] Speaker 1: sort of opened this channel up in my body and
[22:06] Speaker 1: receptivity to, like, lusting.
[22:09] Speaker 3: Other boys started noticing me.
[22:11] Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah.
[22:13] Speaker 2: It's so funny the energetic shift that happens, whether you're
[22:17] Speaker 2: young or not. The moment that you kind of go
[22:20] Speaker 2: start radiating sex.
[22:23] Speaker 1: Yes. People pick up on it very quickly. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.
[22:26] Speaker 3: It switched, like, overnight.
[22:28] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. There was a guy in my drama group
[22:31] Speaker 1: and he looked like Leonardo DiCaprio. Right. With floppy hair. Yes. Oh,
[22:35] Speaker 1: my God. And if he put his head down, it
[22:37] Speaker 1: would go over his eyes like that scene on Titanic.
[22:39] Speaker 3: How good was the 90s?
[22:40] Speaker 1: Oh, the best.
[22:42] Speaker 3: And I just really liked him.
[22:44] Speaker 1: And I pretty much made him dump his girlfriend to
[22:48] Speaker 1: go out with me. Like, just, you know how you're
[22:51] Speaker 1: just so frivolous with hearts. Yeah.
[22:53] Speaker 3: I just said to him one day, I like you.
[22:56] Speaker 3: And he was like, I like you too.
[22:58] Speaker 1: And I was like, we'll dump your girlfriend. And he
[23:02] Speaker 1: was like, okay.
[23:03] Speaker 3: Oh, God, that poor bitch.
[23:05] Speaker 1: I know.
[23:06] Speaker 3: She was also in the drama group.
[23:08] Speaker 2: Oh.
[23:08] Speaker 1: I know. And it's like I had no care for
[23:10] Speaker 1: her heart. Like I just then like.
[23:12] Speaker 3: It doesn't matter.
[23:13] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[23:13] Speaker 1: And then he called me on the landline and told
[23:15] Speaker 1: me he dumped her and that he was going to
[23:18] Speaker 1: ask me out like on the Thursday. Okay. God, I
[23:20] Speaker 1: love that. Okay.
[23:21] Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll ask you out but like maybe Thursday
[23:24] Speaker 2: on like lunchtime or something or like on the Friday.
[23:26] Speaker 1: I'm not sure yet. Yeah. And you're like, what is this?
[23:28] Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like, okay, great. Sounds good. I'll put it
[23:30] Speaker 3: in my diary.
[23:30] Speaker 1: I'll be waiting. So and so is going to ask
[23:32] Speaker 1: me out. Well, the hottest thing happened. So we're in
[23:37] Speaker 1: the middle of our drama show. It was halftime. Yeah.
[23:41] Speaker 1: And he took me out the side door and he
[23:45] Speaker 1: started like cuddling me, holding me, showed me the moon.
[23:50] Speaker 1: And he was trying to be really romantic and he
[23:53] Speaker 1: started singing because he's a drama boy. I'm so embarrassed.
[23:58] Speaker 1: Do you know When Dolphins Cry?
[24:02] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[24:04] Speaker 3: Do you know it?
[24:04] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[24:05] Speaker 3: How does it go?
[24:05] Speaker 2: Are you going to play it?
[24:10] Speaker 3: No, this isn't a radio show, but I'll sing it.
[24:12] Speaker 1: Okay.
[24:12] Speaker 3: And I think it was because of the moon.
[24:14] Speaker 1: He was like, the way your beads last. Reminds me
[24:20] Speaker 1: of that night. God let me down into your soul.
[24:27] Speaker 1: Is that how it goes?
[24:29] Speaker 3: Why did he choose that?
[24:31] Speaker 1: I think it's because I was bathed in light.
[24:34] Speaker 3: The moonlight. It's full moon.
[24:36] Speaker 1: Oh, God. What did you do as he was singing
[24:39] Speaker 1: at you?
[24:40] Speaker 3: I felt so.
[24:43] Speaker 1: Uncomfortable, but I remember trying to go with it because
[24:46] Speaker 1: I was like.
[24:47] Speaker 3: Is this what happens? This is romance.
[24:48] Speaker 1: Yeah, this is what I've been waiting for. And I
[24:50] Speaker 1: was thinking, this is, my first kiss is coming. This
[24:53] Speaker 1: is momentous. And then. He did.
[24:59] Speaker 3: He went in for the kiss. Oh my God. But honestly,
[25:03] Speaker 3: I didn't know what to do.
[25:04] Speaker 1: I couldn't quite get the hang of like, he's going there,
[25:07] Speaker 1: I'm going there. Why is he flipping up at the
[25:10] Speaker 1: roof of the mouth?
[25:11] Speaker 2: The tongues were a mess back then. My first patch
[25:14] Speaker 2: was with a guy called Menz.
[25:17] Speaker 1: With a Z.
[25:18] Speaker 3: Men's hair.
[25:18] Speaker 1: Men's.
[25:19] Speaker 3: And he had a tongue ring.
[25:21] Speaker 1: Oh.
[25:22] Speaker 2: He was a little bit older and I remember being like,
[25:26] Speaker 2: and then like the tongue and the ring, I remember
[25:28] Speaker 2: it clicking against my teeth at some point and me
[25:30] Speaker 2: being like, far out.
[25:31] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[25:32] Speaker 1: Did you walk away going like, shit.
[25:34] Speaker 3: Yeah, I love kissing.
[25:35] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I was just like, man, I had
[25:36] Speaker 2: a patch.
[25:37] Speaker 1: We hooked up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, shit.
[25:39] Speaker 1: Thank you. You're having a kiss. I left. Great.
[25:45] Speaker 3: I was like, okay, it's over.
[25:47] Speaker 1: I've survived.
[25:48] Speaker 3: First kiss.
[25:48] Speaker 1: Done. Great.
[25:49] Speaker 3: Let's go back in. We've got to get back onto
[25:51] Speaker 3: the show. Locked out.
[25:53] Speaker 1: Oh, my God. It's a one-way door. I know. Theatre
[25:56] Speaker 1: Royal back in Nelson had to walk right around to
[25:58] Speaker 1: the front. I know it. But it's a big building.
[26:01] Speaker 3: You've got to go around the front door where the
[26:02] Speaker 3: audience is coming.
[26:03] Speaker 1: Exactly. Walked past my mum with my new boyfriend. She
[26:07] Speaker 1: was like, where have you been? Where have you been?
[26:09] Speaker 1: I was like, oh, shit. Dragging your flares through the mud.
[26:16] Speaker 1: Absolutely outed. Yeah, so I was quite giddy, you know.
[26:19] Speaker 1: I felt like it was a real milestone in my
[26:20] Speaker 1: teenage life. But I still didn't really feel anything for him.
[26:24] Speaker 2: No.
[26:24] Speaker 1: You know, I was a bit like, meh. The next
[26:27] Speaker 1: day I actually saw the neighbour pulling out of his driveway.
[26:30] Speaker 1: And I thought, oh, my God, well, this is my chance.
[26:32] Speaker 1: So I just waved. Cute.
[26:35] Speaker 3: And he looked at me like, oh, confused. Okay.
[26:39] Speaker 2: Is that that pest from the wardrobe who I most
[26:41] Speaker 2: definitely can see?
[26:42] Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[26:45] Speaker 3: He smiled.
[26:45] Speaker 1: He gave me this beautiful smile, which just validated that
[26:50] Speaker 1: he felt the same way, you know, which felt so nice.
[26:54] Speaker 3: And I just thought, drama boy, who?
[26:57] Speaker 1: You know? And then I actually did consider, like, well,
[27:00] Speaker 1: I can't really give my all to the neighbour, you know,
[27:05] Speaker 1: while I'm seeing him.
[27:06] Speaker 3: This other guy. She's got two guys on the boil already. Oh,
[27:09] Speaker 3: I know.
[27:10] Speaker 1: And so I get in and then the phone's ringing,
[27:13] Speaker 1: the home line, and it's drama boy. Yeah. And he
[27:17] Speaker 1: was telling me how much he loved our kiss, how
[27:20] Speaker 1: much he likes me, how much he can't wait to
[27:22] Speaker 1: kiss me again. Oh. And I think, oh, no, I can't.
[27:26] Speaker 3: I absolutely cannot do this.
[27:29] Speaker 1: So I acted like, great, yeah, okay, cool. I can't
[27:32] Speaker 1: wait either. And then the next day. I had to
[27:36] Speaker 1: dump him. Okay. You had to. I had to. I've
[27:39] Speaker 1: always found it quite hard to end it with boys.
[27:41] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[27:43] Speaker 1: And it can be a bit ruthless.
[27:45] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[27:46] Speaker 1: Because I think, especially younger Morgan, it's like once you know,
[27:50] Speaker 1: you know. And there's no going back. There's no point
[27:53] Speaker 1: in beating around the bush. I don't like you. You know?
[27:57] Speaker 1: So I took the landline with the big long cord
[28:00] Speaker 1: and I walked it all the way to my room.
[28:03] Speaker 1: Hopped under the duvet to hide. I called him up.
[28:07] Speaker 3: He was so excited to hear from me. Wanted to
[28:09] Speaker 3: come over.
[28:10] Speaker 1: I said, I can't. I'm sorry. It's over. It's over.
[28:14] Speaker 1: And he's like, what the hell? I know. What do
[28:17] Speaker 1: I do? He's like, why?
[28:18] Speaker 3: And I said, I can't be with you. There's someone else.
[28:23] Speaker 3: So that's a lie. Oh, no, it's the neighbour. It's
[28:24] Speaker 3: the neighbour.
[28:25] Speaker 1: It's Goldboy. He was like, who? Is it Alistair? I
[28:29] Speaker 1: was like, Alistair? Who's Alistair?
[28:31] Speaker 3: Oh, he was in our drama group who had a
[28:33] Speaker 3: crush on me. Oh, God, he wanted you.
[28:35] Speaker 1: I said, it's not Alistair. It's a bigger love than that.
[28:38] Speaker 1: And he was like, okay. And I was like, well,
[28:41] Speaker 1: you can get back with Fiona if you want now. Well,
[28:44] Speaker 1: you fucked that up. I know. You made him dump her.
[28:48] Speaker 1: I know. Okay. Isn't that shocking?
[28:51] Speaker 3: God, you're a bloody flip-flopper. I know, but to me
[28:53] Speaker 3: it was just black and white. It was like, I'm
[28:55] Speaker 3: done with you. I've tried it.
[28:56] Speaker 1: It didn't work. You can go back to her now.
[29:00] Speaker 1: It did make the rest of the season of Jack
[29:02] Speaker 1: and the Beanstalk a bit awkward.
[29:03] Speaker 3: Who were you in the play? Oh, it was like this.
[29:06] Speaker 1: French courtier or, I don't know, I used to walk
[29:08] Speaker 1: along with a big basket full of oranges in the
[29:11] Speaker 1: marketplace trying to sell my wares.
[29:13] Speaker 3: Great.
[29:13] Speaker 1: Yeah. I actually sang that bit, but I don't know
[29:17] Speaker 1: how I got a singing part. Yeah, well, we've just heard.
[29:20] Speaker 3: So you know what.
[29:21] Speaker 1: No, we're aware now.
[29:22] Speaker 3: Yeah. I could sing that bit. Can we just have
[29:24] Speaker 3: a little bit more?
[29:27] Speaker 1: Oranges, oranges, who will buy my orange?
[29:35] Speaker 3: Sorry, is it my job to say this shouldn't be happening?
[29:38] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[29:38] Speaker 2: I also think we're solving the problem of everyone thinking
[29:41] Speaker 2: Morgan's hot after each season of the podcast.
[29:43] Speaker 3: We'll just fix that.
[29:44] Speaker 1: Yeah, bring the attention of me now. Here we go.
[29:47] Speaker 1: So you're saying that people can still find me hot
[29:49] Speaker 1: after sharting on the Harbour Bridge, but not when I'm singing.
[29:51] Speaker 1: But not when you sing. Oranges, oranges, who will buy corn?
[30:00] Speaker 3: Oh, God.
[30:01] Speaker 1: I know.
[30:02] Speaker 3: I know. Yeah, awkward, though, for the rest of the season.
[30:05] Speaker 1: The good thing is, though, that my neighbour didn't know
[30:07] Speaker 1: about this humiliating side of my life. Yeah. He just
[30:10] Speaker 1: got to see me, like, looking cute, coming home in
[30:12] Speaker 1: my school uniform. And I was trying to figure out
[30:16] Speaker 1: ways where he could see me more. Yes. So I
[30:19] Speaker 1: started saying to Mum, oh, I'll mow the lawns. Great.
[30:22] Speaker 1: And she was like, what? Amazing. Yes. But... Next minute,
[30:28] Speaker 1: mum's dragging me back inside to tell me it's not
[30:31] Speaker 1: appropriate to mow the lawns in jandals, jean shorts and
[30:35] Speaker 1: a bikini top.
[30:36] Speaker 3: I see what you're doing though.
[30:37] Speaker 4: Yes.
[30:37] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was strutting. And it's so interesting
[30:41] Speaker 1: to look at her. Like she was wagging her hips
[30:45] Speaker 1: and pushed those boobs up into that bikini.
[30:48] Speaker 3: Oh my God.
[30:49] Speaker 1: And like wanted to be seen. Yes.
[30:51] Speaker 2: So many people listening will remember this exact moment in
[30:53] Speaker 2: their life where they did this thing where they went,
[30:56] Speaker 2: I'm going to, hitch up my skirt, I'm going to
[30:57] Speaker 2: pull up my top and show my belly button and
[30:59] Speaker 2: I'm going to pretend I've got boobies and just try
[31:03] Speaker 2: to be sexy for the first time.
[31:04] Speaker 3: Yeah. So embarrassing.
[31:06] Speaker 1: It's so embarrassing but it's so beautiful because of the
[31:09] Speaker 1: innocence of it.
[31:10] Speaker 2: I know.
[31:11] Speaker 1: And playing with this newfound like sex appeal or like
[31:15] Speaker 1: desire in the body that just makes you go la-la-loopsie.
[31:19] Speaker 3: It's so la-la-loopsie.
[31:20] Speaker 1: And also not having a real awareness of what is appropriate. Yeah.
[31:25] Speaker 3: I think societally.
[31:26] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. You know, like we don't see any of
[31:28] Speaker 1: the other neighbours in their like 40s out there.
[31:31] Speaker 2: No.
[31:32] Speaker 3: Mowing lawn like that.
[31:33] Speaker 2: No.
[31:33] Speaker 1: Do we?
[31:34] Speaker 3: But you're so focused.
[31:36] Speaker 2: Yes. On Hot Neighbour that you're like so– you're just
[31:40] Speaker 2: not even thinking about that stuff. No.
[31:42] Speaker 1: And what I think– what's interesting about that without knowing
[31:45] Speaker 1: what's right or what's wrong is if we were more
[31:48] Speaker 1: in our primal-ness, that is 100% what we would do.
[31:53] Speaker 1: Like that is– It's the jungle. The birds, they come
[31:56] Speaker 1: out and look at me and what are they doing?
[31:58] Speaker 1: Those dancers? Yes. That's what they're doing.
[32:00] Speaker 3: You were doing your dance, your mating dance.
[32:02] Speaker 1: I was so– Fertile and so ready to pound, you know,
[32:07] Speaker 1: like not really. No, no, no. But on some level,
[32:11] Speaker 1: I was trying to attract a mate. And I had
[32:13] Speaker 1: found my mate. He was the one. He was the
[32:16] Speaker 1: big deer, the big elk. Yeah, and you were doing
[32:19] Speaker 1: your little dance. Yeah. And your jandals. And your jandals
[32:25] Speaker 1: and your fucking lawnmower. I know. She was a bloody
[32:27] Speaker 1: horny teenager carrying on like that. And I knew that
[32:31] Speaker 1: it was time to take it up a notch with
[32:33] Speaker 1: the neighbour. I needed to know his name. I needed
[32:36] Speaker 1: to talk to him, you know. So I knew I
[32:40] Speaker 1: needed to call him, but I didn't have his number, obviously.
[32:44] Speaker 3: You had to go to the phone book. Yeah, but
[32:46] Speaker 3: I didn't know his name.
[32:47] Speaker 1: Oh, no. So I pulled a sickie and I spent
[32:51] Speaker 1: the whole day starting at A, going through the addresses.
[32:56] Speaker 3: Because I knew his address, obviously. He lived across the road.
[32:59] Speaker 1: Oh.
[33:00] Speaker 3: Again, as an adult, unwell.
[33:03] Speaker 1: Unwell.
[33:03] Speaker 3: Very unwell. Very unwell. As a little teenager, fine.
[33:07] Speaker 1: Fine. Innocent. Doesn't matter that you've pulled a sickie to
[33:11] Speaker 1: do a big job. Far out.
[33:13] Speaker 3: What if his name's Zachariah? It started with W.
[33:18] Speaker 1: Shit.
[33:18] Speaker 3: His last name started with W.
[33:19] Speaker 1: Oh, no. I know. What a day.
[33:23] Speaker 3: No, I had to take three days off. It took
[33:26] Speaker 3: me three days.
[33:27] Speaker 1: I know Nelson's not a big town, but it took
[33:29] Speaker 1: me three days to get to W.
[33:31] Speaker 3: That's a big book.
[33:32] Speaker 1: And I thought I've missed it. I've overlooked it. Yeah,
[33:35] Speaker 1: you're at bloody V going, oh, what the hell.
[33:38] Speaker 3: Yeah, and then W.
[33:40] Speaker 1: I looked at it.
[33:41] Speaker 2: That's my neighbour's address.
[33:46] Speaker 1: That's him.
[33:47] Speaker 3: And I thought, how resourceful, how clever. The things you
[33:50] Speaker 3: do for love.
[33:51] Speaker 1: Oh, my God. The things you do for love. Exactly.
[33:54] Speaker 3: To the edge of the bloody earth.
[33:56] Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've got the number. So straight away, went
[33:58] Speaker 1: to pick up the phone. I was like, well, hang on,
[34:00] Speaker 1: what am I going to say here? Hello. And then
[34:03] Speaker 1: I thought, yeah, exactly. I know, without knowing his name.
[34:07] Speaker 1: Only thing I really knew about him was that he
[34:09] Speaker 1: was ridiculously good looking. Yeah. And through the wardrobe, I'd
[34:14] Speaker 1: also seen that on his big screen TV, he watched
[34:17] Speaker 1: a lot of rugby.
[34:17] Speaker 3: Okay.
[34:19] Speaker 1: And he also had a Sky aerial, which, you know,
[34:22] Speaker 1: back in the day, it was like, you're rich.
[34:23] Speaker 3: So I figured this out. He's a rugby boy. And
[34:26] Speaker 3: he's got Sky aerial.
[34:26] Speaker 1: He's got Sky.
[34:27] Speaker 3: So I call. Brave Morgan just picked up that phone.
[34:30] Speaker 3: But do you know what it was?
[34:31] Speaker 1: What? Answer machine of his mum's voice. Oh, hi, you've
[34:35] Speaker 1: reached the something household. Yeah. We're not home at the moment.
[34:38] Speaker 1: I was like, hi, I'm your neighbour. I see you've
[34:43] Speaker 1: got a Sky Aerial and I really love rugby and
[34:47] Speaker 1: I really want to watch the Crusaders game tonight and
[34:51] Speaker 1: I wonder if I could come over and watch it.
[34:53] Speaker 3: Okay, thanks, bye.
[34:54] Speaker 1: Very bold.
[34:56] Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
[34:56] Speaker 1: Good move. Oh, my God.
[34:58] Speaker 2: We've identified a hobby. We've made an excuse to get
[35:00] Speaker 2: into the house. Oh my God, we've invited ourselves over.
[35:03] Speaker 2: I really admire this.
[35:05] Speaker 1: I know. But I hung up and I realised I
[35:07] Speaker 1: hadn't said my name. Didn't give my number.
[35:10] Speaker 3: It's your neighbour. Yeah, yeah.
[35:11] Speaker 1: It's your neighbour.
[35:12] Speaker 3: Could be, I don't know, anybody's. We're in a cul-de-sac.
[35:16] Speaker 3: Could be literally anyone.
[35:17] Speaker 1: Yes, anyone. But I felt great. I felt like that
[35:21] Speaker 1: was it. One step closer to being with my husband. Yes.
[35:25] Speaker 1: So I was very happy with myself. Mum came home
[35:27] Speaker 1: from work. Oh, you seem it. You feeling good?
[35:30] Speaker 3: And I said, oh, my God, I'm back to normal.
[35:32] Speaker 1: I'm good.
[35:33] Speaker 3: Miraculously sprung back. I'm so good now.
[35:36] Speaker 1: And next minute I'm making, this was my favourite afternoon snack,
[35:41] Speaker 1: was just these big buns and you'd put chocolate, like
[35:45] Speaker 1: the cheapest chocolate you could buy, inside the bun and
[35:48] Speaker 1: then you'd melt it and it would be this hot, steamy,
[35:50] Speaker 1: soggy mess. So I was just chowing into one of those.
[35:55] Speaker 1: I was wearing a white top. I dripped it on myself,
[35:57] Speaker 1: had it on my mouth and I felt like. Slob.
[36:00] Speaker 3: Life is good. Yeah, good, yeah. Rotting.
[36:03] Speaker 1: And then there's a knock at the door.
[36:04] Speaker 2: No.
[36:05] Speaker 1: No. And I think, that's weird. I walk up to
[36:08] Speaker 1: the door, which is glass, and I see him.
[36:11] Speaker 3: Oh, God.
[36:13] Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no. I know. And I just, I
[36:16] Speaker 1: freeze and I can't, I don't even have time to
[36:19] Speaker 1: figure myself out. And he kind of laughs and points
[36:22] Speaker 1: at the door knob, like, hello, you need to open
[36:25] Speaker 1: the door. And I know. And I just had to,
[36:30] Speaker 1: I just had to own it.
[36:33] Speaker 3: That was me. I said, Hi.
[36:35] Speaker 1: And he was like, hey, I'm Ant. I live across
[36:39] Speaker 1: the road. Did you leave a message on the answer machine? Hey, Ant.
[36:43] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, hi, Ant.
[36:45] Speaker 1: Yeah, I did, actually. I was just.
[36:47] Speaker 3: Wondering about the rugby tonight.
[36:49] Speaker 1: Oh, God. I've heard Justin Marshall is going to be on. Oh, God.
[36:54] Speaker 1: I want to crawl into a hole.
[36:55] Speaker 3: I know. Please.
[36:56] Speaker 4: No.
[36:58] Speaker 1: And he was just like, I'm actually working tonight, but
[37:01] Speaker 1: mum will be home, so you can go over and.
[37:02] Speaker 3: Watch it with her.
[37:03] Speaker 1: No, no, no, aunt. Aunt, I don't want to watch
[37:06] Speaker 1: rugby with your mother. I know. I was like, okay,
[37:11] Speaker 1: I'll think about that, thanks. And he was like, but
[37:13] Speaker 1: if I finish early, you can definitely watch it with me.
[37:16] Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, well, just let me know.
[37:17] Speaker 1: And he was like, okay, no worries. Okay.
[37:21] Speaker 3: How old do we think this guy is? So he
[37:26] Speaker 3: was eight years older than me. I know. I know
[37:31] Speaker 3: we all cringe.
[37:32] Speaker 1: We all do the cringe. What I will say is
[37:37] Speaker 1: I was a very mature 13-year-old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[37:43] Speaker 2: It's such a funny thing about being that age because
[37:46] Speaker 2: I was exactly like that.
[37:48] Speaker 1: I'd see an older guy, like much older, and be like.
[37:51] Speaker 3: 100% I could get that.
[37:52] Speaker 1: 100% I want that. Yeah.
[37:53] Speaker 3: And you're like, what are.
[37:54] Speaker 1: You up to, child? I know. Isn't it weird? Because
[38:00] Speaker 1: I think when I look back then, I thought everybody
[38:05] Speaker 1: was available to me. Like all ages. All men.
[38:09] Speaker 3: All men are mine for the taking.
[38:11] Speaker 1: Whereas like now, I feel like I've got like this
[38:14] Speaker 1: very small window of age. So it is so interesting.
[38:19] Speaker 1: It's kind of that naivety as well. It's this beautiful innocence.
[38:23] Speaker 1: So he left and I was just like, oh, my God,
[38:26] Speaker 1: my heart was beating. I was trying to smear the
[38:28] Speaker 1: chocolate off my face. I was just frothing. And I
[38:32] Speaker 1: had a name that was everything. Ant, ant, ant, ant, ant, ant.
[38:38] Speaker 1: Mum came out. She was like, well, who was that?
[38:40] Speaker 1: And I said, that was the neighbour, Ant. And she
[38:44] Speaker 1: was like, oh, that guy you've got a crush on.
[38:47] Speaker 3: And I was like.
[38:50] Speaker 1: Oh, well, no, don't lie. It's just, oh, I think
[38:53] Speaker 1: he's going to be a nice friend.
[38:56] Speaker 3: And mum's like, what did he want?
[38:57] Speaker 1: And I said, oh, he asked me if I would
[38:59] Speaker 1: go over and watch the rugby in his house. No,
[39:00] Speaker 1: he didn't.
[39:01] Speaker 3: No, he didn't. No, he straight up didn't. And mum
[39:04] Speaker 3: was like, that's a bit weird, isn't it?
[39:06] Speaker 1: For a 21-year-old. And I was like, what? No.
[39:09] Speaker 3: I love rugby.
[39:10] Speaker 1: He obviously loves rugby. She's like, when have you loved rugby?
[39:14] Speaker 1: I know. She's starting to go, something's very off. But
[39:17] Speaker 1: I said, anyways, I'll be going over there tonight. Mum
[39:19] Speaker 1: was like, we'll talk about it. She was friends with
[39:23] Speaker 1: the other neighbour. She'd gone over for a wine, you know,
[39:26] Speaker 1: a bit of Chardonnay. God, the women loved wine in
[39:29] Speaker 1: the 90s, didn't they?
[39:30] Speaker 3: God, didn't they? Bloody hell.
[39:32] Speaker 1: Oh, my God, darling.
[39:33] Speaker 3: Why don't you pop over?
[39:34] Speaker 1: The kids are fine. Come over for a wine. She
[39:37] Speaker 1: came back.
[39:37] Speaker 3: She told me, you're not going over there.
[39:39] Speaker 1: I've heard.
[39:40] Speaker 3: He's a smooth operator.
[39:42] Speaker 1: It's not safe for you to go over there as
[39:45] Speaker 1: a 13-year-old.
[39:46] Speaker 3: I was like, ugh.
[39:48] Speaker 1: Ugh.
[39:49] Speaker 2: You ruined my life.
[39:50] Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so like that. It was like the
[39:53] Speaker 3: world had ended.
[39:54] Speaker 1: I hate you.
[39:55] Speaker 3: I was self-combusting.
[39:56] Speaker 1: Oh my God, let me be. I like went into
[39:59] Speaker 1: my room and like ripped things.
[40:03] Speaker 3: Just like ripping posters off the wall.
[40:05] Speaker 1: Yes, and ripped like nice cards that she'd written for
[40:08] Speaker 1: my birthdays. Like, fuck you.
[40:09] Speaker 2: I want that.
[40:10] Speaker 1: You're a bitch. If you really love me, you wouldn't
[40:12] Speaker 1: be keeping me from my love. Yes. But the greatest
[40:16] Speaker 1: thing He came over that night. I'd already been spying
[40:24] Speaker 1: out the window, seeing that he got home, quickly put
[40:28] Speaker 1: on the delayed version that was already on. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
[40:31] Speaker 3: An hour late.
[40:32] Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes. Because she loves the rugby. I love rugby!
[40:36] Speaker 3: Because I thought, shit!
[40:37] Speaker 1: And put it on.
[40:38] Speaker 3: I thought, is he going to come over and tell
[40:40] Speaker 3: me that he's home early?
[40:42] Speaker 1: Yes, he did.
[40:43] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'm just watching the delayed, the
[40:46] Speaker 3: first game.
[40:48] Speaker 1: He was like, oh, and my mum, like, rolls into
[40:50] Speaker 1: the kitchen. She's like, hi, I'm Morgan's mum, you know,
[40:54] Speaker 1: real mum-a-berry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[40:56] Speaker 3: And he was like, hi, I'm Ant.
[40:57] Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, come on in, you know, and
[40:59] Speaker 1: the poor bastard had to sit there and get interrogated.
[41:03] Speaker 3: He just wants to watch some bloody rugby.
[41:04] Speaker 1: I know, and then he just had to watch it delayed,
[41:06] Speaker 1: poor man's sport with a 13-year-old and her mum.
[41:12] Speaker 2: That is not the night Anton envisioned for himself.
[41:16] Speaker 1: No, no. I had to play rugby with a 13-year-old
[41:22] Speaker 1: and her mum.
[41:25] Speaker 3: He's like, man, I've got a job.
[41:26] Speaker 1: Like, what the hell? I know. He must have been
[41:28] Speaker 1: questioning everything about his life. Yeah. We spent this really
[41:32] Speaker 1: nice few months of getting to know him, his mum.
[41:35] Speaker 3: We all became, like, friends.
[41:37] Speaker 1: We had a spa. He would come over for spas. Oh, yeah.
[41:40] Speaker 1: You can imagine. Oh, my God. The water off that.
[41:42] Speaker 1: Holy hell. I know. In between that as well, I
[41:46] Speaker 1: was still having interest from other boys, and I was
[41:49] Speaker 1: trying to do my own age.
[41:50] Speaker 3: Yes, of course.
[41:51] Speaker 1: I actually received a really beautiful love letter that I
[41:53] Speaker 1: would like you to have a read of.
[41:55] Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh.
[41:57] Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
[41:58] Speaker 3: Did he spell my name right?
[42:03] Speaker 1: Dear Morgane. Dear Morgan. Oh, my God.
[42:08] Speaker 2: This is the most 90s thing I've ever seen.
[42:10] Speaker 1: The bubble riding. Yeah. Dear Morgan. Oh, no. What?
[42:17] Speaker 3: Oh, God. Dear Morgan, my passion for you I can
[42:21] Speaker 3: no longer hide.
[42:22] Speaker 2: So I just had to write you a letter spout R-A-G-H-T.
[42:27] Speaker 2: I always see you down at the BMX track and
[42:29] Speaker 2: every time I see you, you look nicer.
[42:32] Speaker 1: I've always wished you were mine. Oh, sorry. I always
[42:35] Speaker 1: wished you were mine.
[42:38] Speaker 2: I would like to come over and talk to you,
[42:40] Speaker 2: but I'm not sure whether you would want to talk
[42:43] Speaker 2: to me. Now, I told Tom and Layla that I
[42:46] Speaker 2: liked you, but she said that I didn't have a chance.
[42:49] Speaker 3: She said that you think that I am an idiot.
[42:52] Speaker 2: But Tom was talking to Layla the other day and
[42:54] Speaker 2: he said that from what Layla said, it sounded as
[42:56] Speaker 2: though you reckon that I am okay. Well, I would
[42:59] Speaker 2: like it if you would give me a chance because
[43:00] Speaker 2: I really like you and I think that you are
[43:02] Speaker 2: something special.
[43:04] Speaker 1: Oh, love.
[43:05] Speaker 2: I would never upset you or snob you when my
[43:08] Speaker 2: friends are around. I'll always ring and come and visit
[43:10] Speaker 2: you whenever you wanted me to. I would really like
[43:13] Speaker 2: it if you wrote me back sometime. I'm into BMX,
[43:17] Speaker 2: motocross racing, wakeboarding, snowboarding in the winter.
[43:20] Speaker 1: And I have a car. I have a job.
[43:25] Speaker 2: I've run out of time now as I have to
[43:26] Speaker 2: get ready for work. Hope I hear back from you sometime.
[43:29] Speaker 2: Here's my phone number if you want to ring me.
[43:31] Speaker 2: Then it's his number.
[43:32] Speaker 3: Love, Shannon.
[43:34] Speaker 1: Yeah. Shannon.
[43:36] Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
[43:37] Speaker 2: What I love is how serious we were as kids
[43:41] Speaker 2: when we thought we loved. My passion for you I
[43:44] Speaker 2: can no longer hide.
[43:45] Speaker 1: And there was no chat GBT telling you how to
[43:48] Speaker 1: write sexy letters. No.
[43:49] Speaker 3: To Morgan.
[43:50] Speaker 1: No.
[43:51] Speaker 3: Had he found a poetry book in his mum's.
[43:54] Speaker 1: You know, bookshelf that said, opening line, my passion for you,
[43:58] Speaker 1: I can no longer hide.
[43:58] Speaker 3: I don't know. Where did that come from? He's seen
[44:00] Speaker 3: a movie.
[44:01] Speaker 1: He's, you know, he's, maybe his mum had a Mills
[44:04] Speaker 1: and Boone lying around. That'll be it.
[44:06] Speaker 3: My passion for you, I can no longer hide.
[44:08] Speaker 1: You know, like. Yes.
[44:11] Speaker 3: Oh, Shannon. I know. Welcome, Shannon. Welcome to the.
[44:15] Speaker 4: Running.
[44:15] Speaker 1: Yeah. You're in the running now, Shannon. Yeah.
[44:17] Speaker 3: I didn't really like Shannon.
[44:19] Speaker 1: No.
[44:20] Speaker 3: No, not really my type. But he's into BMX and motocross.
[44:23] Speaker 1: I know. And he's never going to snob me in
[44:26] Speaker 1: front of his friends. He'll never snob you in front
[44:28] Speaker 1: of his mates and he'll always ring and be around
[44:30] Speaker 1: when you want him to. Shit, I should have picked
[44:32] Speaker 1: Shannon back then. Where's Shannon now? Can you imagine?
[44:34] Speaker 3: Well, I might have to look him up. Yeah, do
[44:35] Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like, that's kind of the
[44:37] Speaker 3: perfect man now.
[44:38] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[44:38] Speaker 2: If a man said to me now, my passion for you,
[44:40] Speaker 2: I can no longer hide, I'll be like, wow, what
[44:42] Speaker 2: a romantic man.
[44:43] Speaker 3: He's in touch with his feelings. That is true.
[44:46] Speaker 1: Yeah. Shit.
[44:47] Speaker 3: He's not afraid of his softer side. Take me back.
[44:50] Speaker 3: It's time for me to ride him back. Shannon's probably
[44:51] Speaker 3: got like four kids now.
[44:52] Speaker 1: The thing about it is that, you know, he wasn't
[44:55] Speaker 1: the one for me and I'd actually met another guy
[44:57] Speaker 1: at the same time. God, you're on fire. Yeah, I
[45:00] Speaker 1: was on fire. Met these two guys at the beach.
[45:03] Speaker 1: I was with my girlfriend. I actually said, let's like
[45:06] Speaker 1: make them our boyfriends because what I was thinking, I
[45:09] Speaker 1: hadn't pashed anybody since Drama Boy. Yeah. And I'm thinking
[45:12] Speaker 1: I need to get skilled up. It's getting more intense
[45:15] Speaker 1: with Ant. Like we're spending more time together, watching rugby,
[45:18] Speaker 1: having spas. Yeah. Are you starting to really enjoy the
[45:22] Speaker 1: rugby at this point? I couldn't even tell you it
[45:25] Speaker 1: was happening because I was just hyper aware of him
[45:27] Speaker 1: and my peripheral vision.
[45:28] Speaker 3: If he'd had me a drink.
[45:30] Speaker 1: If our hands would touch, his smile, his like short, short,
[45:34] Speaker 1: he used to shave his legs, like muscles. Why did
[45:40] Speaker 1: he shave his legs? The 2000s, early 2000s, all men,
[45:44] Speaker 1: like gym boys shaved their legs.
[45:46] Speaker 3: Oh, okay, big part of it.
[45:47] Speaker 1: It was about like definition. Yeah, right. So I've always
[45:50] Speaker 1: liked a hairy leg on a man.
[45:52] Speaker 3: That's just me.
[45:53] Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, this guy could have done anything and
[45:55] Speaker 1: I would have found it sucks.
[45:56] Speaker 3: Yeah, totally, totally.
[45:58] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[45:58] Speaker 3: You know, we were having chats about things.
[46:00] Speaker 1: I'd say, oh, my girlfriend who works at Pizza Hut,
[46:03] Speaker 1: she is sleeping with her manager.
[46:06] Speaker 3: You know, like I'd tell him about.
[46:07] Speaker 1: All these scenarios. Because you're like, I have friends that
[46:09] Speaker 1: sleep with people. Yeah, yeah. I've had one patch, but
[46:11] Speaker 1: my friends sleep. Like an older, like. forbidden things to
[46:15] Speaker 1: try and like, kind of say like, everybody's doing it. Yeah.
[46:18] Speaker 1: You know?
[46:18] Speaker 3: Not a baby.
[46:19] Speaker 1: Anyways, this guy on the beach, I was like, great,
[46:21] Speaker 1: it's going to be great practice, you know? And he
[46:24] Speaker 1: was actually, he was a bit older, German.
[46:28] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[46:30] Speaker 1: Yeah. Yes. Would you like to have a little kiss
[46:33] Speaker 1: on the beach?
[46:34] Speaker 3: Is that what he said to you?
[46:35] Speaker 1: No, okay, so he didn't have the accent. Oh, yeah. No.
[46:39] Speaker 3: Hello, Morgan.
[46:41] Speaker 1: Would you like a little kiss on the beach?
[46:45] Speaker 3: Oh, I know.
[46:45] Speaker 1: My heart's going to start palpitating. He came over one
[46:50] Speaker 1: night for a movie night with me and mum. Fuck off, mum.
[46:55] Speaker 1: I love you, mum. She's always there. I know, but
[46:57] Speaker 1: I'm 14 by this stage, you know. Yeah. No, that's fair.
[47:01] Speaker 1: You know. Yeah. And she's in the Lazy Boy. We're
[47:04] Speaker 1: on the couch. His hand starts wandering.
[47:07] Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
[47:07] Speaker 3: In front of mum. This is the first boy I've.
[47:09] Speaker 1: Had near my genitals. And I don't know what's happening.
[47:13] Speaker 1: You know, it's starting to feel good. I'm horny. He's
[47:16] Speaker 1: rubbing on top of the panties. And then he's starting
[47:19] Speaker 1: to kind of like move the panties to the side.
[47:21] Speaker 1: I'm feeling like so nervous. Mum gets up. We've pushed
[47:25] Speaker 1: pause on the movie. Mum gets up to go and
[47:28] Speaker 1: like make a cup of tea. All of a sudden,
[47:31] Speaker 1: I feel this massive shooting pain down in my vag. Oh, no.
[47:36] Speaker 1: And I squealed.
[47:38] Speaker 3: And mum goes, what?
[47:38] Speaker 2: What's happened?
[47:39] Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I thought there was a spider.
[47:42] Speaker 1: And she goes, oh, my God, relax. And then I
[47:45] Speaker 1: said to him, why did you pull my pube out?
[47:48] Speaker 1: And he said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I
[47:50] Speaker 1: thought that was a bit of cotton on your undies. Oh,
[47:52] Speaker 1: my God.
[47:53] Speaker 3: And he, like, wrapped it around his finger and done
[47:55] Speaker 3: a whee.
[47:57] Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
[47:59] Speaker 3: I want to die.
[48:00] Speaker 1: Oh, dude.
[48:03] Speaker 3: Leave it in a wicker. You wound up your pube
[48:09] Speaker 3: and ripped out a pube.
[48:10] Speaker 1: Yes.
[48:11] Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
[48:12] Speaker 1: Yes. Dude, not a move. Not a move. What the hell?
[48:16] Speaker 3: I did not get a finger bang that night.
[48:19] Speaker 1: No.
[48:19] Speaker 3: Because I was like, you are not a safe zone
[48:21] Speaker 3: down there.
[48:22] Speaker 1: He has ripped out a pube, a single pube. Yes. Oh,
[48:27] Speaker 1: my God.
[48:27] Speaker 3: And, like, those pubes, they're new, you know? No, they're
[48:30] Speaker 3: just soft pubes, yeah.
[48:31] Speaker 1: They're just 14-year-old pubes, you know? Like, let them be.
[48:34] Speaker 3: Yeah, what the fuck?
[48:35] Speaker 1: I know. I'm mortified. Oh, I know. Thank God I recovered. But, um... Like,
[48:43] Speaker 1: we did have a lot of fun. A lot of, like,
[48:44] Speaker 1: experimental stuff. Just a bit of dry humping.
[48:47] Speaker 3: Some frottaging.
[48:48] Speaker 1: Like, just thinking about him. Like, that was the first
[48:51] Speaker 1: penis I touched. Like, I now remember how smooth it was.
[48:55] Speaker 1: So smooth.
[48:56] Speaker 2: Not calloused from years of use.
[49:01] Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
[49:02] Speaker 3: That is a.
[49:03] Speaker 1: No, it's not a thing.
[49:04] Speaker 3: But surely your penis skin does get sort of tougher.
[49:07] Speaker 3: Bit of wear and tear, you reckon?
[49:08] Speaker 1: Wear and tear. Don't say that.
[49:12] Speaker 3: All our male listeners will be like, don't say tear.
[49:14] Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't want to hear that.
[49:16] Speaker 2: No.
[49:17] Speaker 1: But I think you must have moisturised. I can kind
[49:19] Speaker 1: of smell dove. Yeah, I reckon I can smell dove.
[49:23] Speaker 1: It's so funny how the muscle memory of the body.
[49:25] Speaker 3: The nose, eh? Dovey dick.
[49:28] Speaker 1: Dovey dick. If we're doing nicknames, we can't be giving
[49:32] Speaker 1: him Dovey dick.
[49:33] Speaker 3: I think we can.
[49:33] Speaker 1: I love Dovey dick.
[49:34] Speaker 3: All right, Dovey dick.
[49:35] Speaker 1: So this guy who's a bit of a muso, he
[49:38] Speaker 1: wrote me a song. You wrote me a song? These
[49:40] Speaker 1: fucking singing men.
[49:44] Speaker 3: Oh, yes, I'm seeing a type coming here.
[49:45] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[49:46] Speaker 1: He wrote about … Morgan.
[49:51] Speaker 3: Yes, what's the sound like there?
[49:53] Speaker 1: You've got a rogue puke.
[49:56] Speaker 3: If you were dating me, that's what you would have
[49:58] Speaker 3: written about.
[49:59] Speaker 1: Let me plug that out for you. I'm Dovey Dirk.
[50:03] Speaker 1: That's all I know about him so far.
[50:05] Speaker 3: So that's all he gets.
[50:06] Speaker 1: Okay. Well, he went on to talk about my lips,
[50:09] Speaker 1: how I'm so kissable. Oh, I'm sorry.
[50:11] Speaker 3: I immediately went labia.
[50:13] Speaker 1: Oh. Because we're here.
[50:16] Speaker 3: And I immediately was like, of course, the pussy lips.
[50:18] Speaker 3: Of course the pussy lips, duh. Your beautiful mouth lips.
[50:22] Speaker 1: Yes, and how much he loves kissing the mouth lips.
[50:26] Speaker 1: But he did then go on to complain about the
[50:29] Speaker 1: nose and how big the nose was and how the
[50:32] Speaker 1: nose got in the way.
[50:33] Speaker 3: Without kissing. Excuse you, Dovey Dick.
[50:36] Speaker 1: How dare you?
[50:38] Speaker 3: Your nose is a beautiful, sweet thing. Thank you.
[50:41] Speaker 1: I mean, it is a bit of a honker. I'll
[50:43] Speaker 1: give him that. But I don't think it needed to
[50:44] Speaker 1: be in a.
[50:45] Speaker 3: I'm a fellow honker. I've got a prominent nose.
[50:47] Speaker 1: Thanks, sis.
[50:48] Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
[50:49] Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. It makes you a... It's a statement piece. Oh,
[50:52] Speaker 1: my God.
[50:52] Speaker 3: Your nose is not in the way.
[50:54] Speaker 1: Well, apparently it was.
[50:56] Speaker 3: And I was so hurt.
[50:59] Speaker 1: Of course. I ran all the way home. I couldn't
[51:02] Speaker 1: forgive him. That was probably my only insecurity at that
[51:05] Speaker 1: age was my nose. Yes.
[51:07] Speaker 3: And he'd hit me on the nose. How often do
[51:10] Speaker 3: you think about that?
[51:11] Speaker 2: Because I'm just going, I remember two boys saying to
[51:14] Speaker 2: me about my monobrow.
[51:16] Speaker 1: And I think about it all the time.
[51:17] Speaker 3: Every time I pluck my eyebrows, I'm like.
[51:19] Speaker 1: Those bastards. I was a hairy kid and I didn't
[51:21] Speaker 1: realise what was happening.
[51:22] Speaker 3: Oh, Sam, I felt so embarrassed.
[51:24] Speaker 1: Yes. Probably went in with my dad's razor and shaved
[51:27] Speaker 1: right through the middle, you know? Yeah.
[51:29] Speaker 2: But it's those little things you hang on the first
[51:31] Speaker 2: time someone sort of outwardly says that something about your
[51:33] Speaker 2: body is not good and you're.
[51:34] Speaker 1: Like, It is. It can be so damaging. And it
[51:38] Speaker 1: was for me. It was actually like it really gave
[51:41] Speaker 1: me a fright and I felt scared about the next
[51:44] Speaker 1: time I went to kiss somebody.
[51:45] Speaker 3: Yeah, thinking about the nose.
[51:46] Speaker 1: Yeah, it was my nose actually getting in the way.
[51:48] Speaker 1: I thought I was a good kisser at this point.
[51:50] Speaker 3: Am I not? So, yeah, I had to dump him
[51:54] Speaker 3: because of that. Yes, of course.
[51:55] Speaker 1: And he was so mad. He came over to my
[51:57] Speaker 1: house and he was like, you just think the world
[51:59] Speaker 1: revolves around you. It does do. And I was like, yeah.
[52:02] Speaker 1: It revolves around me and my big, big nose.
[52:07] Speaker 2: Aww.
[52:07] Speaker 1: Yeah. So that was the ending. But I actually didn't
[52:10] Speaker 1: mind it. I had so many beginnings and endings with
[52:13] Speaker 1: men and it all just felt part of it.
[52:15] Speaker 3: So, yeah.
[52:17] Speaker 1: Gorgeous 14-year-old Morgan. Nearly 15 at this point. She's got
[52:21] Speaker 1: so many men. She's got some skills.
[52:23] Speaker 3: She's touched a smooth dovey dick.
[52:24] Speaker 1: Yeah, she's had that dovey dick. She knows a thing
[52:27] Speaker 1: or two about dicks now, she thinks.
[52:28] Speaker 3: She's had her pubes ripped out.
[52:30] Speaker 1: She's had some caches. She's mashed some teeth, some tongues.
[52:33] Speaker 1: I'm tasting these other men, but I'm still obsessed with Ant.
[52:37] Speaker 1: I actually, in my heart of hearts, think he's the one.
[52:40] Speaker 1: So I actually make a proper plan to get him deeper. Yeah.
[52:47] Speaker 1: Get them deeper. I love it. So this is the
[52:52] Speaker 1: journey we're on, right? I'm taking you through. It gets deeper, weirder,
[52:57] Speaker 1: heartbreakier from here.
[52:59] Speaker 3: I'm excited and nervous to see your heart flate open.
[53:03] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[53:04] Speaker 3: Because in like some of these things, those little.
[53:07] Speaker 2: Heartaches, like we hold on to them and we remember
[53:09] Speaker 2: them for so many years and they like completely shape
[53:11] Speaker 2: who we are and how we relate to people.
[53:13] Speaker 3: Exactly. The nose is case in point.
[53:16] Speaker 1: Yeah. You know.
[53:17] Speaker 3: My nose. Sorry, I'm sorry.
[53:19] Speaker 1: Get out. That was me. Get out. I'll go. You
[53:22] Speaker 1: and your nose can get out of here.
[53:23] Speaker 2: Okay.
[53:25] Speaker 3: But yes, yes.
[53:26] Speaker 1: I really wanted to give you a bit of that
[53:27] Speaker 1: foundational piece to just really get a taste of her.
[53:31] Speaker 1: I love this.
[53:32] Speaker 3: And from here she gets there.
[53:34] Speaker 1: Weirder. Yeah.
[53:36] Speaker 3: More into her body. Yeah.
[53:38] Speaker 1: Bolder.
[53:38] Speaker 3: Bolder.
[53:39] Speaker 1: Sexualized. Wanting to get in on men more. Get in
[53:45] Speaker 1: on men. Precisely and.
[53:48] Speaker 2: I mean.
[53:48] Speaker 1: But there just had to be other victims on the way,
[53:51] Speaker 1: you know? Oh, my God. What I really look back
[53:53] Speaker 1: on is, like, how open and receptive I was to
[53:58] Speaker 1: men and to the world and to being loved and
[54:01] Speaker 1: felt worthy of all these men's and boys' attention.
[54:06] Speaker 2: Yes.
[54:06] Speaker 3: Like, I was like, yes, of course you like me.
[54:08] Speaker 1: Yes. You know, I would be making eye contact with
[54:11] Speaker 1: every person out in the world with this confidence that
[54:15] Speaker 1: was like, Next level. Yeah. And the flirtation and because
[54:21] Speaker 1: I'm learning, right, by reflecting here, I'm learning, like, how
[54:25] Speaker 1: can I improve? What can I do differently? I'm like,
[54:27] Speaker 1: I want her back in my nervous system. I want
[54:30] Speaker 1: to feel that again. Yeah. Because she had something magnetic
[54:34] Speaker 1: going on.
[54:35] Speaker 3: The confidence to be.
[54:35] Speaker 1: Like, you want me as much as I want you. Yes.
[54:39] Speaker 1: Which is like, even just saying it, I'm like, that's
[54:41] Speaker 1: so hot. Oh, my God.
[54:43] Speaker 2: Do you know what I don't know because– I mean,
[54:45] Speaker 2: obviously we hang out outside of this, but I don't know.
[54:48] Speaker 2: I don't actually know. I mean, I don't know anything.
[54:52] Speaker 2: I don't even know if you find love throughout this journey.
[54:56] Speaker 3: That's the piece.
[54:57] Speaker 1: That is the piece that you are going to, as
[55:00] Speaker 1: with everybody else that's listening, is going to find that out.
[55:04] Speaker 2: I'm sorry I swallowed at the wrong time. You said
[55:07] Speaker 2: find it out and I went, really rude.
[55:11] Speaker 1: What I would say is there's never a wrong time
[55:14] Speaker 1: to swallow. Morgan Penn, ladies and gentlemen. Morgan Penn. Pop
[55:20] Speaker 1: that Romeo and Juliet Prosecco. We're going to need one
[55:23] Speaker 1: because it's time for home play. All thanks to Pasquale Wines.
[55:28] Speaker 1: This year, are we doing home play? Of course we are.
[55:31] Speaker 3: Oh my God.
[55:32] Speaker 2: Do you know, the amount of people that came up
[55:34] Speaker 2: to me and told me about the home play that
[55:36] Speaker 2: they do has been overwhelming. It's been such a beautiful thing.
[55:39] Speaker 2: And I know we've talked about this a bit, Morgan, like,
[55:42] Speaker 2: just to say thank you to everyone who messages us
[55:44] Speaker 2: and everything because you're like, I just imagined more people
[55:48] Speaker 2: would just listen and then listen to home paper and
[55:50] Speaker 2: not do it.
[55:50] Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, no, I couldn't.
[55:53] Speaker 3: The amount of people, oh, my gosh.
[55:54] Speaker 1: That's what I love about this community. They're here to
[55:56] Speaker 1: be entertained, of course. Of course.
[55:58] Speaker 3: But we're here to level up and to learn.
[56:00] Speaker 1: Yeah. And this all feeds back into our why, right?
[56:02] Speaker 1: We're trying to change the world here. We're trying to
[56:04] Speaker 1: create more sexual liberation, sex positivity. That's right. Make the
[56:08] Speaker 1: world safer in the sexual realms when we can identify
[56:11] Speaker 1: what's healthy. aka not spying on people from your wardrobe,
[56:15] Speaker 1: not healthy. Unwell. I really feel that we're ready to
[56:18] Speaker 1: go a bit deeper with the home play. Great. So
[56:21] Speaker 1: it's been quite sexual based, but for me... Oh, look,
[56:23] Speaker 1: I loved knowing that I was putting a butt plug
[56:25] Speaker 1: in my ass the same time that all the listeners
[56:27] Speaker 1: were putting a butt plug in their ass. Then we
[56:28] Speaker 1: came together the week later to talk about our experience
[56:30] Speaker 1: with the butt plug in the ass. The collective butt plug.
[56:32] Speaker 3: I'll tell you what, it wasn't the last time I
[56:33] Speaker 3: put a butt plug in my ass ever since.
[56:35] Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you.
[56:36] Speaker 3: That little anus.
[56:37] Speaker 2: I'll just turn up this season with butt plugs and
[56:39] Speaker 2: my lingerie on.
[56:40] Speaker 1: You know? This is the liberation I've had from sex.life. Yes, sis.
[56:43] Speaker 3: Exactly. We're all levelling up.
[56:46] Speaker 1: The home play, it's going to be like what we've
[56:47] Speaker 1: had before, but it's also going to be a little
[56:49] Speaker 1: bit deeper. Okay. And I'm sharing with you the journey
[56:52] Speaker 1: I've been on. I'm going to invite you to do
[56:54] Speaker 1: it as well. Yes, of course.
[56:55] Speaker 3: If you're up for it again. Hey, you know me.
[56:57] Speaker 1: Yes.
[56:58] Speaker 3: God, I love you.
[56:58] Speaker 1: Gosh. Thank you.
[57:00] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[57:01] Speaker 1: So you know how I said that I wanted to
[57:03] Speaker 1: feel this younger Morgan, all those yummy bits again. I
[57:06] Speaker 1: was like, how do I get to know her more?
[57:08] Speaker 1: How do I feel her, normalise that in my nervous system?
[57:10] Speaker 1: So something that I do as a therapist for a
[57:13] Speaker 1: lot of my clients is I give journal prompts. And
[57:16] Speaker 1: I'll put these up on my Instagram so that you
[57:18] Speaker 1: can see and refer back to. Number one, who was
[57:22] Speaker 1: your hero as a child? So was there a character,
[57:26] Speaker 1: celebrity or person in your life that embodied confidence and charm? Mm-hmm. Two,
[57:31] Speaker 1: what did you love doing that made you forget about
[57:34] Speaker 1: the world? Love that. Right, because this is the thing,
[57:37] Speaker 1: like as adults, it's so serious. We've got jobs and
[57:40] Speaker 1: bills and kids.
[57:40] Speaker 3: We can't really look away from it. No, exactly.
[57:43] Speaker 1: So it's just how can you bring a spark of
[57:45] Speaker 1: that passion or activity back into your adult life? when
[57:49] Speaker 1: did you feel most magnetic as a kid? And we
[57:52] Speaker 1: wouldn't have even known that word back then, but like
[57:54] Speaker 1: looking back, when did you feel your shiny self, like
[57:58] Speaker 1: proud of yourself or you felt like others were drawn
[58:00] Speaker 1: to you? What part of your personality did you feel
[58:04] Speaker 1: you had to hide as you grew up? Yeah, yeah.
[58:08] Speaker 1: And once you can identify that, like how can you
[58:11] Speaker 1: lovingly like reintroduce that back in today? And finally, If
[58:17] Speaker 1: your inner child could give you advice about being confident
[58:20] Speaker 1: and spirited or flirty or whatever it is that you choose,
[58:23] Speaker 1: what would they say? I'm so excited to do this.
[58:27] Speaker 2: You know I'm not a journaler in general. I've tried
[58:29] Speaker 2: and then I just get tired, get bored of it.
[58:31] Speaker 2: But this little prompt thing I'm excited to do.
[58:34] Speaker 1: There is also another little piece of fun with the
[58:36] Speaker 1: home play. Oh, okay.
[58:38] Speaker 3: Masturbation. Fuck it, you don't have to tell me.
[58:40] Speaker 1: Fantasizing about a crush. Oh, yes. Okay. Like, let it
[58:47] Speaker 1: just like take you away to a place that is
[58:49] Speaker 1: just so not what your normal life is or who
[58:52] Speaker 1: you're normally with.
[58:53] Speaker 3: And it might be from your childhood.
[58:55] Speaker 1: Yeah. But it's just... this piece of gay abandon of like,
[59:00] Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with this. Yeah. Against the juices flowing.
[59:03] Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not doing anything. No, exactly.
[59:05] Speaker 1: And just give yourself that little moment because the beautiful
[59:08] Speaker 1: thing about crushes is a projection of what you think
[59:11] Speaker 1: that person is. Yes. You know?
[59:13] Speaker 3: Oh my God, I know.
[59:13] Speaker 2: You're not washing their socks and scraping their shit off
[59:16] Speaker 2: the toilet bowl and paying the bills and talking about
[59:18] Speaker 2: the mortgage or doing anything like that or picking up the.
[59:20] Speaker 1: Kids exactly so go wild oh my.
[59:24] Speaker 2: God I'm so excited and I'm so excited to be
[59:27] Speaker 2: on the journey of season three with all of.
[59:28] Speaker 3: Us yes Yes, it's beautiful.
[59:31] Speaker 2: Okay.
[59:32] Speaker 1: Thank you for being with me during this tender, tenderer
[59:37] Speaker 1: kind of season.
[59:38] Speaker 3: But I'm really excited. You're really going to love it.
[59:41] Speaker 1: Yay. Yeah. All right, we'll see you next week with
[59:44] Speaker 1: journal entries. Yes. And a big old crush mess.

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