# What I gave up to be closer to God

An episode of [Amani Talks Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1669865575), 30 Jul 2024, 45 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/62610825/15504074_what_i_gave_up_to_be_closer_to_god.mp3

The 5 things I removed from my life to be closer to HimSupport the show

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Hi you guys, welcome back to the Amani Talks podcast.
[0:03] Speaker 1: You're here with your host Amani Talks for another Talk
[0:05] Speaker 1: Tuesday segment. Thank you guys for joining where we are
[0:09] Speaker 1: talking about faith based relationships mostly but really just faith
[0:12] Speaker 1: based discussions to further our relationships with God, get closer
[0:16] Speaker 1: to Him, and yeah, just live out this life that
[0:19] Speaker 1: we're supposed to be living with Him in the driver's seats,
[0:23] Speaker 1: not the passenger seats, not the trunk, not the back seats,
[0:26] Speaker 1: but with Jesus leading our lives. So I had an
[0:30] Speaker 1: idea to do an episode about the things that I
[0:34] Speaker 1: have given up in order to have a closer and
[0:38] Speaker 1: deeper relationship with the Lord. And I was inspired to
[0:42] Speaker 1: do this episode because these are things that I'm just
[0:46] Speaker 1: coming into realization about just recently losing, or not even losing,
[0:52] Speaker 1: but moving on from a couple of these situations. And
[0:56] Speaker 1: I've already spoken about a couple of them, and I
[1:00] Speaker 1: I just wanted to go over the five things that
[1:03] Speaker 1: I personally have given up in order, like I said,
[1:06] Speaker 1: to have just a closer and deeper connection and relationship
[1:10] Speaker 1: to God. So let's get right into it. Number one,
[1:14] Speaker 1: I feel is very self explanatory, but we're gonna get
[1:19] Speaker 1: into it. I have given up drugs, alcohol, and smoking. Now,
[1:26] Speaker 1: for the average Christian, when you say, oh, well, Christian
[1:29] Speaker 1: shouldn't be taking drugs, they shouldn't be smoking any type
[1:34] Speaker 1: of you know, vape, cigarette weed, all that, for the
[1:38] Speaker 1: most part, people will agree. No one's gonna bet and
[1:40] Speaker 1: I if you say you shouldn't be smoking, or you
[1:43] Speaker 1: shouldn't be taking recreational drugs, no one's gonna really bet
[1:47] Speaker 1: and eye at that. They're gonna say, yeah, I mean
[1:49] Speaker 1: definitely because those are mind altering drugs. And we know
[1:53] Speaker 1: that the word causes us to be vigilant, sober minded. First,
[1:59] Speaker 1: Peter five bates us to be sober, be vigilant because
[2:02] Speaker 1: your adversary, the devil, walks about like a roaring line,
[2:05] Speaker 1: seeking who he may destroy. In essence, pretty much be
[2:10] Speaker 1: in your right mind. And that says to not take
[2:13] Speaker 1: anything that's going to take you out of that state
[2:15] Speaker 1: of being in the right mind. But when we talk
[2:17] Speaker 1: about alcohol, a lot of Christians will, and I've talked
[2:21] Speaker 1: about this topic a couple of times, a lot of
[2:23] Speaker 1: Christians will fight for their right to be able to
[2:25] Speaker 1: drink alcoholic beverages.
[2:27] Speaker 2: I don't really understand it.
[2:28] Speaker 1: If I'm just being honest, I'm not going to fight
[2:31] Speaker 1: anyone on that topic because I've already discussed it already
[2:34] Speaker 1: a couple times. Like I said, it's my opinion that
[2:37] Speaker 1: anything that's going to even potentially take you out of
[2:40] Speaker 1: a sober state of mind, you should not be partaking in.
[2:44] Speaker 2: Now.
[2:44] Speaker 1: A lot of people will say, well, the word tells us,
[2:46] Speaker 1: you know, not to get drunk, It doesn't say anything
[2:49] Speaker 1: about not just taking a drink. Well, my whole thing is,
[2:53] Speaker 1: if you're not having an alcoholic beverage to feel that
[2:58] Speaker 1: alcoholic feeling, then what are you having an alcoholic beverage for?
[3:02] Speaker 2: Now?
[3:02] Speaker 1: Am I going to, you know, look at you all
[3:04] Speaker 1: crazy or judge you if you have a glass of
[3:07] Speaker 1: wine like literally every now and again for a celebration. No,
[3:13] Speaker 1: but to make it a constant, to make it something
[3:15] Speaker 1: that you're coming home from working, you're having a glass
[3:18] Speaker 1: of wine. You feel like alcohol is needed at every celebration,
[3:24] Speaker 1: or even just you know, keeping it in your house
[3:26] Speaker 1: things like that. I just feel like, what's the point
[3:29] Speaker 1: of even having an alcoholic drink if you're not gonna
[3:33] Speaker 1: try to get drunk or even get buzzed.
[3:35] Speaker 2: You could just have a regular drink.
[3:37] Speaker 1: And there's a lot of verses that people fight me
[3:39] Speaker 1: on that, but really an essence, what it all comes
[3:43] Speaker 1: down to is I shared a verse when I talked
[3:46] Speaker 1: about this subject a couple episodes ago. First current thing
[3:50] Speaker 1: is ten twenty three says all things are permissible for me,
[3:54] Speaker 1: but not all things are edifying. So what that pretty
[3:57] Speaker 1: much is saying is, yeah, it's not unlawed for you
[4:00] Speaker 1: to have, you know, a glass of wine here or there,
[4:03] Speaker 1: but just think about why you're doing it. Yeah, you
[4:06] Speaker 1: can do that, but.
[4:07] Speaker 2: Is it edifying?
[4:08] Speaker 1: What spirit are you feeding when you decide to always
[4:12] Speaker 1: come home and have a glass of wine, When you
[4:13] Speaker 1: decide every time you go out to eat you're gonna
[4:15] Speaker 1: have an alcoholic beverage, when every celebration you needed alcoholic beverages.
[4:20] Speaker 2: What spirit is that feeding?
[4:22] Speaker 1: Because alcohol, no matter what amount, is never going to
[4:25] Speaker 1: feed the holy spirit that lives inside you, never ever
[4:28] Speaker 1: ever ever ever ever, like ever. Now, Like I said,
[4:32] Speaker 1: am I gonna judge you like if I see you
[4:36] Speaker 1: out like having one drink? No, I'm not here to
[4:38] Speaker 1: judge anyone, but I'm here to ask you about your
[4:41] Speaker 1: own walk with God and about being close to him.
[4:44] Speaker 1: What spirit are you feeding when you are partaking in that?
[4:47] Speaker 1: And here's another way to look at it too, the
[4:49] Speaker 1: way that we looked at cigarettes, or the way that
[4:52] Speaker 1: we look at cigarettes now right, and we say cigarettes
[4:54] Speaker 1: are so bad for you, like all the research that
[4:56] Speaker 1: came out about the lung cancer in the early two thousands.
[5:00] Speaker 1: We saw all those commercials about you know, the people
[5:02] Speaker 1: with the stomas that had a pack of Day back
[5:05] Speaker 1: in the nineties. And we think about the seventies and
[5:08] Speaker 1: you see movies and even advertisements about tobacco. In the seventies,
[5:12] Speaker 1: it was totally permissible. It was lawful. You could smoke inside.
[5:16] Speaker 1: People smoked. I remember I used to watch well, I
[5:20] Speaker 1: like to watch older movies and Carrie. If you guys
[5:23] Speaker 1: watched the original Carrie with Stacy what's her name, Sissy,
[5:28] Speaker 1: Cissy Speck or something like that. She there's a scene
[5:33] Speaker 1: where her principal is smoking a cigarette in the office.
[5:37] Speaker 1: And that's how normalized it was. Like you could smoke
[5:40] Speaker 1: inside schools. You could probably smoke right outside of a
[5:43] Speaker 1: hospital in the seventies or probably in the hospital, like
[5:45] Speaker 1: I don't know, but smoking was so normalized because we
[5:49] Speaker 1: just didn't have the research that we have today that
[5:52] Speaker 1: proves that cigarettes are linked to all these things, you know,
[5:55] Speaker 1: all the chemicals and side cigarettes, how nicotine is addicting
[5:58] Speaker 1: all of that stuff. I wholeheartedly believe that the way
[6:01] Speaker 1: that people treat it smoking cigarettes in the seventies is
[6:04] Speaker 1: the way that we treat drinking right now. The way
[6:07] Speaker 1: that we use drinking to celebrate every single thing in
[6:09] Speaker 1: our lives, the way that drinking daily is not even
[6:14] Speaker 1: looked at as a bad thing. I mean, if I
[6:16] Speaker 1: came home every single day and I had a six
[6:18] Speaker 1: pack of beer in my fridge and I drink a
[6:20] Speaker 1: beer every single day, no one's gonna.
[6:21] Speaker 2: Look at that like, oh, you're an alcoholic. You need
[6:24] Speaker 2: to slow down.
[6:25] Speaker 1: Even having three drinks a week is more than you
[6:29] Speaker 1: should be drinking. And just think about if you go
[6:31] Speaker 1: out with like your friends, or you go to a restaurant,
[6:34] Speaker 1: if you have a drink, You're not just gonna have
[6:36] Speaker 1: one drink.
[6:36] Speaker 2: Most likely you're gonna have maybe two.
[6:38] Speaker 1: Right already, that's your weekly Like you shouldn't even be
[6:43] Speaker 1: drinking it, but that's your weekly limit of what you
[6:45] Speaker 1: are supposed to be drinking just two drinks a week.
[6:48] Speaker 1: You can google it, like you're not even supposed to
[6:50] Speaker 1: be having three four drinks in a week. And sometimes
[6:53] Speaker 1: we do that in a day and it's totally normalized.
[6:57] Speaker 2: No one bats an eye. Give it another thirty years.
[7:01] Speaker 1: Like I said, the way that we look at cigarettes
[7:03] Speaker 1: right now is the way that in the future they're
[7:07] Speaker 1: gonna think about drinking. They're gonna say, oh my gosh,
[7:09] Speaker 1: I can't believe people used to drink that much.
[7:11] Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
[7:12] Speaker 1: I mean, that's me kind of going off on a tangent.
[7:14] Speaker 1: But I say all that to say that alcohol is
[7:18] Speaker 1: just as much of a mind altering drug or substance
[7:22] Speaker 1: as smoking, as taking recreational drugs. Even if you don't agree,
[7:27] Speaker 1: it's just the facts. It ruins your health, it alters
[7:31] Speaker 1: your state of mind in any capacity it does, and
[7:35] Speaker 1: it's not going to feed the correct spirit.
[7:37] Speaker 2: And in all things, Followers of Christ should be.
[7:41] Speaker 1: Doing things that are always going to lead to you
[7:44] Speaker 1: feeding the Holy Spirit within you, not the spirit of
[7:48] Speaker 1: your flesh, not your temptation, not the things that you
[7:51] Speaker 1: want to do. Like you know, first Corinthia said, all
[7:54] Speaker 1: things are lawful, All things are permissible, but not all
[7:57] Speaker 1: things are edifying, and you really need to think about
[7:59] Speaker 1: everything in your life feeding the correct spirit so that
[8:03] Speaker 1: that's the spirit that has more dominion and power over
[8:06] Speaker 1: your life. And drinking used to be such a big
[8:08] Speaker 1: part of my life, it really was. I was one
[8:11] Speaker 1: of those people that would drink every day, every single day.
[8:15] Speaker 2: Was I getting drunk every day?
[8:17] Speaker 1: No, but I will say I would get drunk on
[8:20] Speaker 1: a weekly basis, especially when I used to still work
[8:22] Speaker 1: in the clubs, and customers used to love for me
[8:24] Speaker 1: to drink with them. And then, you know, the more
[8:27] Speaker 1: you drink with people and they get you know, they
[8:29] Speaker 1: get chatty with you, they get more friendly with you,
[8:31] Speaker 1: they tip you better. It was like encouraged that we
[8:34] Speaker 1: would drink with our customers if we were serving them
[8:37] Speaker 1: or you know, bartending or whatever. So especially back when
[8:40] Speaker 1: I worked in the clubs, like, oh my gosh, like
[8:42] Speaker 1: and then I will you come home and drink, and
[8:44] Speaker 1: then you go out with your friends and drink. I
[8:46] Speaker 1: used to drink every single day. And me giving up
[8:48] Speaker 1: drinking is like a huge thing now, am I saying
[8:51] Speaker 1: that I'm never going to have another sip of wine?
[8:54] Speaker 2: Like for the rest of my life.
[8:57] Speaker 1: To be honest, I don't know, but I know for
[8:59] Speaker 1: one thing, I'm never getting drunk again and I'm never
[9:01] Speaker 1: making drinking a habit again. So that whole thing, the
[9:04] Speaker 1: no drugs, no alcohol, no smoking, I have given that
[9:08] Speaker 1: up to really have a good relationship with God and
[9:12] Speaker 1: just not to have anything on my conscience, not to
[9:14] Speaker 1: have anything that I constantly have to ask for forgiveness,
[9:17] Speaker 1: have to repent for. I just want a clean slate
[9:20] Speaker 1: and I don't want to have any backsliding in my
[9:23] Speaker 1: relationship with him. I just always want to just move forward.
[9:27] Speaker 1: So that's the number one thing that I have given up.
[9:30] Speaker 1: Number two is music.
[9:33] Speaker 2: I used to be a huge.
[9:36] Speaker 1: Young thug fan, a huge party next door fan. I mean,
[9:42] Speaker 1: I'm still mourning the loss of me listening to party
[9:45] Speaker 1: next door. I've party next door, or I loved I
[9:49] Speaker 1: guess NICKI Minaj, just all of that.
[9:52] Speaker 2: I used to be a really big rap trap fan.
[9:57] Speaker 1: I've seen future and concert more and I would like
[10:00] Speaker 1: to admit that was just me.
[10:02] Speaker 2: I loved that music. I loved that music. And when we.
[10:07] Speaker 1: Talk about which spirit are you feeding, that's one thing
[10:11] Speaker 1: that I had to totally cut out and honestly, I'm
[10:14] Speaker 1: starting to really slowly cut out all secular music. And
[10:18] Speaker 1: that's another thing that we discussed a lot in the
[10:20] Speaker 1: Christian community community. Sorry, should you We already know you
[10:25] Speaker 1: should not be listening to no rap most of the
[10:28] Speaker 1: R and B, especially you know, modern R and B.
[10:32] Speaker 1: But when it comes to just any secular music, should
[10:35] Speaker 1: you be taking out all secular music? Is all secular
[10:39] Speaker 1: music quote unquote bad, and I am slowly phasing out
[10:46] Speaker 1: all secular music, to be honest with you. And what
[10:49] Speaker 1: I do is I just go to Apple Music, and
[10:52] Speaker 1: I just go to the Christian you know genre. I
[10:56] Speaker 1: look up new albums, whatever is popular right now in
[11:00] Speaker 1: the Christian genre. I'll just play it. I'll listen to that.
[11:03] Speaker 1: I start my music or my morning's off with worship
[11:06] Speaker 1: music really like early two thousand stuff, you know, lead
[11:09] Speaker 1: me to the other cross.
[11:10] Speaker 2: That's like, you know, stuff like that.
[11:12] Speaker 1: So I start off my day with worship music, and
[11:14] Speaker 1: then throughout the day I try to either do stuff
[11:16] Speaker 1: like listen to audio books. And I've even been a
[11:21] Speaker 1: little convicted about the audiobooks I've been listening to because
[11:24] Speaker 1: I like listening to thrillers. But a lot of that
[11:27] Speaker 1: stuff is about murder, and you know, and I'm just like,
[11:29] Speaker 1: should I even be listening to that? So I think
[11:32] Speaker 1: for the majority of us giving up secular music, even
[11:36] Speaker 1: if you just try it, give up all secular music
[11:39] Speaker 1: for maybe two weeks to a month and just see
[11:42] Speaker 1: if you see a difference in the things that you
[11:46] Speaker 1: think about, how you feel when you wake up, when
[11:50] Speaker 1: you're in your car, do you have less road rage,
[11:53] Speaker 1: just things like that. See if you pick up on that. Now,
[11:55] Speaker 1: if you can listen to secular music and really one
[11:58] Speaker 1: hundred percent your mind, body's soul, say, I can listen
[12:03] Speaker 1: to a little secular music here and there and it
[12:05] Speaker 1: does not affect me, then like I you know, be
[12:09] Speaker 1: my guest. But music affects us so heavily, And even
[12:13] Speaker 1: if it's not cursing, even if it's not talking about sex,
[12:18] Speaker 1: I think you will find that a lot of secular
[12:21] Speaker 1: music has a lot of anti god or pro human like,
[12:28] Speaker 1: putting humans and our emotions on a pedestal.
[12:31] Speaker 2: It has that theme a lot of the time.
[12:34] Speaker 1: Red Hot Chili Peppers was one of my favorite bands,
[12:39] Speaker 1: and even with them, I had to give them up
[12:43] Speaker 1: because I'm listening to one of the songs, and one
[12:47] Speaker 1: of my favorite songs by them is can't Stop, and
[12:50] Speaker 1: one of the lyrics goes, can't stop the spirits when
[12:53] Speaker 1: they need you.
[12:54] Speaker 2: I'm like, eh, I had to turn it off. What
[12:58] Speaker 2: spirits who need me? And it's just little stuff like that.
[13:02] Speaker 1: Because I'm a real big lyric listener, I'm you know,
[13:05] Speaker 1: people be like, oh, I don't care about the lyrics.
[13:07] Speaker 2: I'll just listen to the beat. Girl.
[13:09] Speaker 1: What songs are all about what the musician is saying.
[13:13] Speaker 1: That's the whole point of music. They're they're giving you
[13:16] Speaker 1: a message, and a lot of secular music messages they're
[13:21] Speaker 1: just not going to be edifying to you.
[13:24] Speaker 2: They're just not.
[13:25] Speaker 1: And sometimes I'll scroll on TikTok and I'll like put
[13:30] Speaker 1: it like with the volume really low. I know that
[13:33] Speaker 1: doesn't really make sense, but sometimes I do that because
[13:36] Speaker 1: even some of the sounds on TikTok and even some
[13:39] Speaker 1: of the sounds that I've used just for like hear
[13:41] Speaker 1: and makeup tutorials, I'm just like, it'll get stuck in
[13:44] Speaker 1: my head that song and I'm just like thinking about
[13:46] Speaker 1: that song and I'm just like, oh my gosh.
[13:49] Speaker 2: So it's secular music.
[13:50] Speaker 1: Something that we all need to give up and one
[13:52] Speaker 1: hundred percent you need to give up all secular music.
[13:55] Speaker 1: Like I said, that's for you to decide, but that
[13:57] Speaker 1: is something that I am slowly fazing guy of my life.
[14:00] Speaker 2: I've already gotten rid of all the music. Like I
[14:02] Speaker 2: said that, I know I need to.
[14:03] Speaker 1: Get rid of, like all my rap, trap, R and B,
[14:06] Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, sex music, violence, all that.
[14:10] Speaker 1: But there's some songs that I'm still kind of holding
[14:13] Speaker 1: on to that I'm slowly phasing out and replacing with
[14:18] Speaker 1: listening to a sermon, listening to a good audiobook, just
[14:22] Speaker 1: straight up Christian or worship music. And I will say
[14:26] Speaker 1: I have definitely noticed the difference. I've noticed the difference
[14:30] Speaker 1: with how I think because I'm someone I get into
[14:36] Speaker 1: my head a lot. I tend to talk to myself
[14:41] Speaker 1: a lot. I tend to like daydream and stuff like
[14:46] Speaker 1: that a lot. I think they call it like maladaptive daydreaming.
[14:50] Speaker 1: They said it's a sin. I haven't really looked into it,
[14:54] Speaker 1: but just things that I think about I stew over
[14:56] Speaker 1: in my head over and over again. I've realized that
[15:00] Speaker 1: when I'm calmer, when I'm listening to worship music, when
[15:03] Speaker 1: I'm just listening to things that are more edifying. Those
[15:07] Speaker 1: thoughts don't come to me as easily, or I'm also
[15:11] Speaker 1: able to identify those thoughts and to rebuke them immediately.
[15:16] Speaker 1: And the music that I listen to, the music that
[15:19] Speaker 1: I take in definitely has altered my mood and it's
[15:23] Speaker 1: also just altered my way of thinking.
[15:27] Speaker 2: So I would just challenge you.
[15:28] Speaker 1: I would just say, if you don't think that the
[15:31] Speaker 1: secular music that you listen to is that big of
[15:33] Speaker 1: a deal, just try giving it up for a couple
[15:36] Speaker 1: of weeks and see if it makes a difference, because
[15:39] Speaker 1: I think that it actually will. Number three is sex,
[15:43] Speaker 1: and I don't think that I really need to talk
[15:45] Speaker 1: about this a lot. I'm unmarried, so there is no
[15:48] Speaker 1: sex life for me. And I'm gonna go even further.
[15:51] Speaker 1: There is no lust life for me. There is no
[15:56] Speaker 1: me texting boys life, There is no there. That's just
[16:00] Speaker 1: totally just not a part of my life. And if
[16:03] Speaker 1: you're on the same journey as me when it comes
[16:05] Speaker 1: to abstinence, there are a lot of things in your
[16:09] Speaker 1: life that you should.
[16:10] Speaker 2: Also get rid of.
[16:11] Speaker 1: Besides just the sexual component, there are a lot of
[16:14] Speaker 1: things that we watch I've been recently convicted about watching
[16:18] Speaker 1: a lot of the Netflix reality shows that we watch,
[16:21] Speaker 1: the dating shows.
[16:22] Speaker 2: I love watching stuff like Perfect Match. I just watch.
[16:26] Speaker 1: I mean, I've seen every single season, but just a
[16:28] Speaker 1: lot of those shows, they're just so sexually charged. Everyone's
[16:32] Speaker 1: just in their bathing suits. One hundred percent of the time,
[16:35] Speaker 1: they're drinking. You know that they're in the house having sex.
[16:39] Speaker 1: Just stuff like that, and then they do like they
[16:42] Speaker 1: always have. Every single one of those shows always has
[16:45] Speaker 1: a challenge in that show to where they.
[16:48] Speaker 2: Revealed their body count.
[16:50] Speaker 1: And these are people in their twenties, okay, And when
[16:53] Speaker 1: you see how many people that these people are admitting
[16:56] Speaker 1: that they've had sex with, Like I said, I'm not
[16:58] Speaker 1: judging or shaming, but you would be surprised they there
[17:02] Speaker 1: are people on that show that say that they've had
[17:04] Speaker 1: sex with one hundred, two hundred, three hundred people and
[17:09] Speaker 1: everyone's just laughing like oh ha.
[17:11] Speaker 2: Ha, oh my gosh, three hundred people.
[17:14] Speaker 1: And I'm just like, Okay, I'm not That's not something
[17:20] Speaker 1: that I'm gonna take lightly and I'm not going to
[17:23] Speaker 1: laugh at it or be like, oh, these silly kids.
[17:26] Speaker 1: It's when we see stuff like that and we just
[17:30] Speaker 1: laugh at it and normalize it. That goes a long
[17:32] Speaker 1: way with normalizing our mindset towards it as well, and
[17:36] Speaker 1: also just not condemning it in our own lives. There
[17:42] Speaker 1: are things that we should just totally be turning from.
[17:46] Speaker 1: Right when we're repenting from sins, to repent to means
[17:50] Speaker 1: to turn away from. And if we are turning away
[17:54] Speaker 1: from having premarital sex, but we're still looking at other
[17:57] Speaker 1: people doing it, I don't know, hasn't recently been sitting
[18:02] Speaker 1: right with me, So I think I should really rename
[18:05] Speaker 1: number three when I'm talking about sex, also just talking
[18:08] Speaker 1: about the things that I watch. And this is something
[18:11] Speaker 1: hard for me too, because I spend a lot of
[18:13] Speaker 1: time at home, and I spend a lot of time
[18:16] Speaker 1: on social media, and I spend a lot of time
[18:18] Speaker 1: watching TV, and so much TV has so much sexual
[18:24] Speaker 1: nature in it, and I just get convicted about watching it,
[18:27] Speaker 1: and sometimes I still watch it because I'm just like.
[18:32] Speaker 2: Well, if I can't watch this, and I can't watch anything.
[18:35] Speaker 1: But we should also be very conscious about what we
[18:38] Speaker 1: watch when we're on our celebacy journey, because so much
[18:41] Speaker 1: of what we watch today has so much just like sex,
[18:44] Speaker 1: and raunchiness in it, and it's just sometimes so hard
[18:47] Speaker 1: to avoid. I mean, you go to the movies and
[18:50] Speaker 1: there's a sex scene and you're sitting there and you've
[18:52] Speaker 1: paid for your movie. You're gonna watch the movie and
[18:55] Speaker 1: just be very mindful about what you watch when you're
[18:57] Speaker 1: on your celebacy journey, because it all starts with an idea.
[19:01] Speaker 1: We don't just jump into bed with somebody. It starts
[19:03] Speaker 1: with you being tempted by what you're watching, what you're
[19:07] Speaker 1: you know, being a part of the things that you're condoning.
[19:10] Speaker 1: And then you are taking into your own hands to
[19:13] Speaker 1: talk to someone, and then you're texting them at night,
[19:15] Speaker 1: and then you're going over their house, and then they're
[19:17] Speaker 1: coming over your house. It's just a snowball effect that
[19:20] Speaker 1: starts with something small, like the things that you are
[19:23] Speaker 1: watching and normalizing. So I would just say personally, for
[19:28] Speaker 1: me on my abstinence, it's abstinent, right. Sometimes I interchange
[19:33] Speaker 1: abstinent with celibacy. I know they're different things, but pretty
[19:37] Speaker 1: much with me on my no sex journey until I
[19:41] Speaker 1: get married, I just have to be very mindful about
[19:45] Speaker 1: the little things. That's all I'm gonna say. Because I
[19:49] Speaker 1: am no longer going to put myself in a position
[19:52] Speaker 1: to live in sin and then have that be a
[19:56] Speaker 1: hindrance to my relationship with God anymore. Number four, of
[20:01] Speaker 1: the things that I've given up to make sure I
[20:03] Speaker 1: have a good relationship with the Lord, I have given
[20:08] Speaker 1: up fighting to keep relationships in my life. And when
[20:15] Speaker 1: I say this, I mean not only romantic relationships. I'm
[20:19] Speaker 1: talking about friendships. I'm talking about relationships within my family,
[20:26] Speaker 1: and of course romantic relationships too. I've already told you
[20:29] Speaker 1: guys how I was dating someone for a while and
[20:33] Speaker 1: earlier this year I cut it off because it was
[20:36] Speaker 1: not a God led relationship. We were having sex, we
[20:38] Speaker 1: were drinking, we were living like the world, and if
[20:42] Speaker 1: I wanted my relationship with God back, I needed to
[20:44] Speaker 1: get out of that relationship. And that was one of
[20:46] Speaker 1: the first things I did. I was not going to
[20:49] Speaker 1: continue to compromise myself just to be in that relationship,
[20:56] Speaker 1: and in compromising myself also compromising my relationship with God.
[21:00] Speaker 2: I just wasn't gonna do it anymore.
[21:02] Speaker 1: So, you know, I gave up that romantic relationship, and
[21:05] Speaker 1: a lot of times romantic relationships are the hardest things
[21:07] Speaker 1: for us to give up even when we know that
[21:10] Speaker 1: that relationship is not serving the Lord. And it doesn't
[21:12] Speaker 1: even have to go as far as you two are
[21:15] Speaker 1: having sex, you too are drinking together, you two are
[21:17] Speaker 1: going out and stuff like that. Even if that relationship
[21:19] Speaker 1: is distracting you from what God has called you to do,
[21:22] Speaker 1: that's something that you should end as well. It doesn't
[21:25] Speaker 1: always have to be as you know, as obvious as oh,
[21:29] Speaker 1: we're having sex and that's wrong.
[21:31] Speaker 2: If there is any.
[21:32] Speaker 1: Way, shape or form that this person that is pursuing
[21:36] Speaker 1: you or you're pursuing they are taking you away from
[21:39] Speaker 1: the work that God has called you to do, then
[21:44] Speaker 1: obviously that person was not sent by God to be
[21:46] Speaker 1: in your life. God would not send you someone that
[21:50] Speaker 1: is taking you away from what he he.
[21:53] Speaker 2: Has called you to do. That's just not gonna happen.
[21:56] Speaker 1: But I want to talk about friendships too, because sometimes
[21:59] Speaker 1: breaking off romantic relationship it's like, oh, I know I
[22:02] Speaker 1: need to do it, and it's.
[22:03] Speaker 2: Probably just hard for you to do it.
[22:05] Speaker 1: But a lot of times I don't think that we
[22:07] Speaker 1: recognize that there are friendships that we either need to
[22:11] Speaker 1: cut off or just let go. And this is something
[22:14] Speaker 1: that i've recently, very recently, had to do because if
[22:19] Speaker 1: I have friendships and not everyone is going to be
[22:24] Speaker 1: always at the same intensity, the same chapter of the book,
[22:28] Speaker 1: the same They're not going to have the same calling
[22:30] Speaker 1: from God that you do. I'm not talking about that.
[22:33] Speaker 1: I'm talking about having friendships with people that are clearly
[22:37] Speaker 1: going against the word of God. The way that they
[22:40] Speaker 1: live their life is clearly evidently going against the word
[22:44] Speaker 1: of God, and they have They're not repenting, they see
[22:48] Speaker 1: nothing wrong with what they're doing. And maybe this is
[22:51] Speaker 1: a childhood friendship. Y'all have been friends for twenty years.
[22:54] Speaker 1: Maybe this is a more recent relationship. But now you're
[22:57] Speaker 1: coming back to your walk with God and you don't
[22:59] Speaker 1: do the things that you were doing just a year ago.
[23:01] Speaker 2: And that's my situation.
[23:02] Speaker 1: I've had to learn to just let go, just let
[23:06] Speaker 1: go of even friendships that are hindering my relationship with God,
[23:10] Speaker 1: because if every time I'm with you, I feel like
[23:14] Speaker 1: I can't talk about God with you because I know
[23:16] Speaker 1: you're not following God right now. If every time we're
[23:18] Speaker 1: together we have to go out and we have to drink,
[23:23] Speaker 1: we have to do if those are the type of
[23:25] Speaker 1: friendships that I have in my life.
[23:27] Speaker 2: I need to realize.
[23:28] Speaker 1: Listen, I either need to completely cut it off or
[23:33] Speaker 1: just let that person go. And here's what you will find.
[23:36] Speaker 1: Some of the time, too, you don't even have to
[23:39] Speaker 1: cut these friendships off. They will just separate themselves from
[23:42] Speaker 1: you because that person sees, oh, they're not doing things
[23:47] Speaker 1: the way that they were when we were both going
[23:49] Speaker 1: out to the clubs and we were smoking together and
[23:52] Speaker 1: we were doing drugs together. Oh, they're not doing that anymore.
[23:55] Speaker 1: Let me let me go over here because I still
[23:58] Speaker 1: want to do that. Sometimes you will find that that
[24:00] Speaker 1: person wild just remove themselves. But what we do sometimes
[24:04] Speaker 1: is we still try to hold on to that situation.
[24:06] Speaker 1: We're still reaching out to them. We're still trying to
[24:08] Speaker 1: hang out because we've been friends for so long, or
[24:12] Speaker 1: oh I don't want to lose a friend. You have
[24:14] Speaker 1: to be willing to lose a lot of relationships when
[24:16] Speaker 1: you decide to follow the Lord. And that's just what
[24:19] Speaker 1: it is. That's just what it is. When Jesus was
[24:23] Speaker 1: picking his disciples, we talk about the twelve disciples, but
[24:26] Speaker 1: there were a lot more people that followed Jesus, that
[24:30] Speaker 1: ministered to him, that helped him. That you know, went
[24:33] Speaker 1: out and with his ministry. There was a lot more
[24:37] Speaker 1: than just the twelve. The twelve were just his closest,
[24:39] Speaker 1: but there were a lot more men that followed Jesus. Right, Okay,
[24:43] Speaker 1: I haven't pulled up here, you guys, because it's important
[24:45] Speaker 1: to remember where these scriptures come from so that you
[24:47] Speaker 1: can remember it. And I need to get that in
[24:49] Speaker 1: my head. Like when I can't remember, let me just
[24:51] Speaker 1: stop and go look it up so that I can,
[24:53] Speaker 1: you know, memorize it. So we're in Luke nine fifty nine.
[24:57] Speaker 1: He said to another man, follow me, and that's Jesus.
[25:00] Speaker 1: But he replied, Lord, first, let me go and bury
[25:03] Speaker 1: my father. Jesus said to him, let the dead bury
[25:06] Speaker 1: their own dead, but you go and proclaim the Kingdom
[25:09] Speaker 1: of God. Still another said, I will follow you, Lord,
[25:12] Speaker 1: but first let me go back and say goodbye to
[25:14] Speaker 1: my family. Jesus replied, no one who puts a hand
[25:17] Speaker 1: to the plow and looks back is fit for service
[25:20] Speaker 1: in the Kingdom of God. So basically, Jesus is saying
[25:23] Speaker 1: you need to be able to leave friends, family, relationships,
[25:27] Speaker 1: whoever it is that's not following the Lord. If that
[25:31] Speaker 1: person in your life is not following the Lord, leave
[25:33] Speaker 1: them behind. If that person in your life that you've
[25:36] Speaker 1: been friends with for twenty years, is not willing to
[25:39] Speaker 1: repent for what they're doing and not willing to turn
[25:41] Speaker 1: their life around, leave them behind. Some people really do
[25:44] Speaker 1: need to get left behind. Now, Am I saying as
[25:47] Speaker 1: soon as you repent and turn your life around and
[25:49] Speaker 1: follow God, to just cut off everybody else, Because no,
[25:52] Speaker 1: y'all wasn't doing it this whole time, not necessarily. I mean,
[25:55] Speaker 1: you want to minister to these people, you want to
[25:59] Speaker 1: go and proclaim the gospel to them, but if after
[26:03] Speaker 1: you trying to reach out praying for them. Of course,
[26:06] Speaker 1: always pray for these people, but sometimes you have to
[26:09] Speaker 1: physically separate yourself and say, I'm gonna pray for you, brother,
[26:12] Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray for you, sister, but I can't be
[26:14] Speaker 1: friends with you. I can't be doing the same things
[26:16] Speaker 1: with you as I was doing before.
[26:18] Speaker 2: I can't.
[26:18] Speaker 1: I can't be in this relationship with you being unequally
[26:21] Speaker 1: yoked and you hindering my relationship with God. Like, I'm
[26:25] Speaker 1: just not going to do that. I'm not going to
[26:26] Speaker 1: put myself in that position anymore. Jesus is literally telling them,
[26:30] Speaker 1: let the dead bury their own dead. You go and
[26:32] Speaker 1: follow the Lord. And sometimes we find these relationships very
[26:36] Speaker 1: hard to let go because, oh, that's my cousin, that's
[26:39] Speaker 1: my sister, that's my best friend of twenty years. I've
[26:41] Speaker 1: been with this man for five years, that's my baby father,
[26:44] Speaker 1: that's you know. Jesus himself is telling us that we
[26:48] Speaker 1: need to cut off these relationships and follow the Lord.
[26:51] Speaker 1: And at the end, he says, anyone who puts his
[26:54] Speaker 1: hand to the plow and then looks back is not
[26:56] Speaker 1: worthy of service in the kingdom, basically saying, if you
[26:59] Speaker 1: said you're gonna fight me, but then you're looking back,
[27:02] Speaker 1: still trying to hold on to these relationships that you have,
[27:05] Speaker 1: trying to hold on to that man, trying to hold
[27:07] Speaker 1: on to your best friend that's not doing no good
[27:09] Speaker 1: and don't want to do no good. Still trying to
[27:11] Speaker 1: hold on to these relationships that you have with your family.
[27:13] Speaker 1: You're not worthy of the service in the kingdom. You
[27:16] Speaker 1: have to leave behind all of that and go forward and.
[27:19] Speaker 2: Not look back.
[27:20] Speaker 1: And I recently found myself in this situation to where
[27:24] Speaker 1: I was holding onto a friendship. That's I mean, when
[27:29] Speaker 1: I look at it. It's like, why was I holding
[27:31] Speaker 1: on to this friendship? This person saw no wrong with
[27:35] Speaker 1: what they were doing in their life. They weren't ready
[27:37] Speaker 1: to turn around their life. They made it very clear
[27:40] Speaker 1: that they were going to continue and that they had
[27:43] Speaker 1: plans to still do these things in their lives. And
[27:46] Speaker 1: I was still trying to be friends with this person,
[27:48] Speaker 1: thinking I don't know what I was thinking, to be
[27:52] Speaker 1: honest with you, And now that that relationship has that
[27:55] Speaker 1: friendship has dissolved, it was like bruh, Like I was
[27:59] Speaker 1: doing all this to try to hold onto this relationship
[28:01] Speaker 1: whole time. That person exited left because they didn't want
[28:04] Speaker 1: anything to do with who I am now. And going
[28:07] Speaker 1: back to what I was saying before, You'll find that
[28:09] Speaker 1: a lot of people will just walk out of your
[28:10] Speaker 1: life and you have to let them. You have to
[28:13] Speaker 1: be okay with these relationships dissolving themselves. You have to
[28:20] Speaker 1: let go and let God. You should continue to pray
[28:22] Speaker 1: for that person. You should continue to love that person,
[28:26] Speaker 1: but love them from a distance. You don't need to
[28:28] Speaker 1: continue to hang out with them. You don't need to
[28:31] Speaker 1: continue to try to have a close relationship with them.
[28:34] Speaker 1: Let that person go, and I've just learned along the
[28:38] Speaker 1: way to not hold onto any type of relationship that
[28:42] Speaker 1: is going to hinder.
[28:43] Speaker 2: My walk with the Lord.
[28:44] Speaker 1: If you have family and every time they get together,
[28:47] Speaker 1: they're all drinking and smoking, and they're always inviting you
[28:50] Speaker 1: to their events or their parties and their vacations.
[28:53] Speaker 2: But you already know what the deal is.
[28:55] Speaker 1: You already know when you get there, everyone's going to
[28:57] Speaker 1: be drinking, everyone's going to be smoking. I recently put
[28:59] Speaker 1: myself in that position, and I'll tell you I will
[29:02] Speaker 1: never do that again. I learned my lesson. Now I'm
[29:04] Speaker 1: strong in my convictions, and I've been strengthened by certain
[29:08] Speaker 1: situations to where I have put myself in spaces to
[29:11] Speaker 1: where I knew I was going to be the only
[29:13] Speaker 1: one not drinking or not doing drugs or not smoking whatever,
[29:16] Speaker 1: and I have proved to myself, Okay, I can do it.
[29:19] Speaker 1: But now I'm leveling up from that, and I'm learning
[29:22] Speaker 1: to not even put myself in that situation period. I'm
[29:26] Speaker 1: not even going to put myself in that situation period.
[29:30] Speaker 1: Why why am I going to accept invites to where
[29:34] Speaker 1: I know everyone around me is going to be doing
[29:35] Speaker 1: something that I have already made up my mind that
[29:38] Speaker 1: I'm not going to do. Like, what sense does that make?
[29:41] Speaker 1: It's like a vegan getting invited to a barbecue, Like, girl,
[29:46] Speaker 1: why is you there? And then we try to justify
[29:49] Speaker 1: it with Oh, that's my friend, that's my family. I
[29:51] Speaker 1: can be there and not drink. I can be there
[29:54] Speaker 1: and and not do what everyone else is doing. Okay,
[29:56] Speaker 1: then why are you there?
[29:57] Speaker 2: To begin with?
[29:58] Speaker 1: Like, really think about that, memorize this all. I pretty
[30:01] Speaker 1: much have just learned the hard way over several different
[30:06] Speaker 1: experiences in my life to let go of relationships that
[30:11] Speaker 1: I know are going to hinder my walk and to
[30:14] Speaker 1: stop putting myself in situations that I know I'm going
[30:18] Speaker 1: to be tempted or struggle in any way. And that's
[30:23] Speaker 1: that's just something that just comes with your maturity in Christ.
[30:26] Speaker 1: Your maturity and experience wisdom things that you have experienced
[30:30] Speaker 1: before and you're like, I don't want to experience that again.
[30:33] Speaker 1: The fifth and final thing that I have had to
[30:36] Speaker 1: give up in order to deepen and strengthen my relationship
[30:40] Speaker 1: with the Lord, and that is myself. Out of all
[30:44] Speaker 1: the things that I've mentioned number one through four, dying
[30:48] Speaker 1: to myself and giving up myself in order to have
[30:54] Speaker 1: a strengthened and real relationship with the Lord is something
[30:59] Speaker 1: that I am I'm still conquering, something that I am
[31:04] Speaker 1: still going through, something that I am still struggling through,
[31:07] Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, because my entire life, I have
[31:11] Speaker 1: had a love of myself, me being the oldest daughter
[31:16] Speaker 1: of many siblings, most of them on my father's side,
[31:19] Speaker 1: but growing up with my mom and my stepdad, being
[31:23] Speaker 1: the oldest sibling in the house.
[31:25] Speaker 2: And if you're the oldest sibling, especially the oldest daughter,
[31:30] Speaker 2: you know exactly where I'm coming from.
[31:34] Speaker 1: A lot of times, the oldest sibling is the guinea
[31:37] Speaker 1: pig child to your parents.
[31:39] Speaker 2: Because you're their first child. They don't know what to do.
[31:42] Speaker 1: Parenting does not come with a handbook. You are usually
[31:45] Speaker 1: the one that is self sufficient because you didn't have
[31:50] Speaker 1: your parents' guidance on a lot of things, because they
[31:53] Speaker 1: are just figuring it out, just like you're figuring it out.
[31:57] Speaker 1: Like I was the first kid that went to colleg
[32:00] Speaker 1: for them. They didn't know how to fill out my FASTPA.
[32:02] Speaker 1: They didn't know what I should and shouldn't be doing
[32:05] Speaker 1: for college prep. They didn't know any of that stuff.
[32:07] Speaker 1: And on top of that, my parents were very young too.
[32:11] Speaker 1: I had very young parents and I was the first
[32:15] Speaker 1: and that came with just different life experiences. I could
[32:19] Speaker 1: also say challenges just in the way that I had
[32:23] Speaker 1: to figure out a lot of things for myself. And
[32:27] Speaker 1: because I had to figure out a lot of things
[32:28] Speaker 1: for myself, that caused me to really become extremely self
[32:33] Speaker 1: sufficient to where I don't ask for help. I do
[32:37] Speaker 1: everything myself. And because of that, I had a puffed
[32:41] Speaker 1: up sense of self like, oh, Amani did this.
[32:45] Speaker 2: I didn't have any help from anybody. I did this.
[32:47] Speaker 1: I put myself through college. I got my first car,
[32:50] Speaker 1: I got my first apartment. No one helped me with
[32:52] Speaker 1: a dollar for a rent, nobody gave me money for college.
[32:55] Speaker 1: I did all this by myself, and that caused me
[32:57] Speaker 1: to say, my life is my own.
[33:00] Speaker 2: You know.
[33:00] Speaker 1: I love Amani. I love what you've done with your
[33:02] Speaker 1: you know, with your life. I love that you, you know,
[33:05] Speaker 1: moved across the country, you know, and and did something
[33:08] Speaker 1: different with your life.
[33:09] Speaker 2: I love that you did that, and MANI.
[33:11] Speaker 1: Like, kudos to us, kudos to the life that you
[33:13] Speaker 1: created for yourself. And that's just the mindset that I've
[33:17] Speaker 1: had for most of my life because I've always constantly
[33:20] Speaker 1: had to figure out everything for myself and do things
[33:23] Speaker 1: for myself. I thought that the life that I have
[33:27] Speaker 1: I created myself. Little did I know every good and
[33:29] Speaker 1: perfect gift comes from above. Even when I was doing
[33:35] Speaker 1: things the wrong way to get what I wanted in life,
[33:38] Speaker 1: God had the grace and love and mercy on my
[33:45] Speaker 1: life that allowed me could Because we don't think about
[33:48] Speaker 1: this too, I think that we tend to kind of
[33:51] Speaker 1: skip over the fact that we deserve nothing out of life. Truly,
[33:58] Speaker 1: we deserve nothing. We are not good people, we don't
[34:03] Speaker 1: do good. We deserve nothing out of life, and we
[34:07] Speaker 1: did not create ourselves. We do not give ourselves the
[34:11] Speaker 1: lungs or the air in our lungs. We do not
[34:14] Speaker 1: give ourselves the health that is necessary for us to
[34:18] Speaker 1: go out and work and make money.
[34:21] Speaker 2: We don't give ourselves anything.
[34:23] Speaker 1: We came into this world with absolutely nothing, and we'll
[34:26] Speaker 1: leave this world with absolutely nothing. So how do we
[34:29] Speaker 1: think that we did anything for ourselves when we did
[34:32] Speaker 1: not birth. We didn't do anything for ourselves. Every good
[34:36] Speaker 1: and perfect gift comes from above. So if I'm alive
[34:38] Speaker 1: and well, that comes from the Lord. If I have
[34:41] Speaker 1: money in my bank account that comes from the Lord.
[34:43] Speaker 1: If I have health and any capacity that comes from
[34:47] Speaker 1: the Lord. If I'm able to wake up and smile
[34:50] Speaker 1: in the morning, that comes from the Lord. I didn't
[34:52] Speaker 1: do anything for my life. And when I realized that
[34:57] Speaker 1: I was the main thing standing in the way of
[35:01] Speaker 1: having a real and true relationship with God, I realized,
[35:06] Speaker 1: every single day I need to lessen myself in order
[35:09] Speaker 1: for him to increase. I need to remove amani every
[35:13] Speaker 1: single day. And what that looks like in my life personally,
[35:17] Speaker 1: is I pray before I make plans. My birthday is
[35:20] Speaker 1: coming up. I want to take a trip for my birthday.
[35:22] Speaker 1: I've prayed over it several times. I've told God, God,
[35:26] Speaker 1: if I'm not supposed to be taking a trip on
[35:28] Speaker 1: my birthday, let me know. Actually, I prayed, give me
[35:32] Speaker 1: my birthday plans. I want to do this, but give
[35:34] Speaker 1: me my birthday plans. If I'm not supposed to be
[35:36] Speaker 1: out the country for my birthday, let me know when
[35:39] Speaker 1: I'm booking my flight. Give me that sense, you know,
[35:43] Speaker 1: like you know how sometimes you're doing things and it
[35:46] Speaker 1: just doesn't feel right, and that's how you know.
[35:47] Speaker 2: It's the Holy Spirit. I prayed, give me that.
[35:50] Speaker 1: If I'm not supposed to be doing this for my birthday,
[35:52] Speaker 1: if I should not be taking a trip, if i
[35:54] Speaker 1: should not be spending this money right now, let me know.
[35:57] Speaker 2: God, I just want to.
[35:58] Speaker 1: Pray before I make any plan in my life because
[36:01] Speaker 1: I don't want to believe that it's a Maani doing this.
[36:04] Speaker 1: So when things come about in my life that are good,
[36:07] Speaker 1: I'm giving all the praise to him because I know
[36:09] Speaker 1: Amani did not do what the Lord did.
[36:11] Speaker 2: And I was actually just reading.
[36:13] Speaker 1: I'm reading through Judges right now and I got to
[36:15] Speaker 1: the story of Gideon, and basically, you have to read it.
[36:19] Speaker 1: It's just there's a lot of history that I'm going
[36:21] Speaker 1: through right now in my reading. But the story of
[36:24] Speaker 1: Gideon is basically, the Israelites are being oppressed. You know,
[36:27] Speaker 1: they're in the promise land that God gave to them,
[36:29] Speaker 1: but they keep worshiping other gods besides the Lord, and
[36:31] Speaker 1: they keep forgetting about how the Lord brought them out
[36:34] Speaker 1: of Egypt. They keep forgetting, They keep forgetting, and they
[36:36] Speaker 1: keep going towards evil. They keep worshiping other gods, and
[36:40] Speaker 1: you know, it's just this cycle of them worshiping other
[36:42] Speaker 1: gods and then them being go pressed because of their
[36:44] Speaker 1: own sin, and then God rescuing them, and then once
[36:47] Speaker 1: they get rescued and they feel happy again, then they're
[36:49] Speaker 1: going back to other gods. And it's just the cycle
[36:51] Speaker 1: of the Israelites constantly doing evil in the sight of
[36:54] Speaker 1: the Lord and then being o pressed because of their
[36:56] Speaker 1: own evil actions. So God is just raising up judges,
[37:00] Speaker 1: you know, raising up people to constantly deliver the Israelites
[37:03] Speaker 1: out of the hands of the Midian Knites, the Philistines,
[37:08] Speaker 1: you know, all the people that are oppressing them basically.
[37:11] Speaker 2: And in Gideon's.
[37:12] Speaker 1: Story, the Lord basically confirms to him, you are going
[37:15] Speaker 1: to go forward and you're gonna defeat. I think it
[37:18] Speaker 1: was the Midianknites in this story. So Gideon knows that
[37:20] Speaker 1: he's gonna have to go forth and fight the Midian
[37:22] Speaker 1: Knites to release the Israelite people. And what he does
[37:26] Speaker 1: is he gets an army together. He gets an army
[37:28] Speaker 1: of ten thousand people together in order to go forward
[37:31] Speaker 1: and fight the Midian Knites, like the Lord says. But
[37:33] Speaker 1: when he gets his ten thousand people together, the Lord
[37:36] Speaker 1: comes to him and he's like, Nope, you do not
[37:39] Speaker 1: need this many people. I'm the one that's going to
[37:41] Speaker 1: deliver the midian Knights into your hands. And the Lord
[37:43] Speaker 1: tells him, if you have all these people behind you,
[37:46] Speaker 1: you're going to think that the ten thousand soldiers that
[37:48] Speaker 1: you have is the reason that you defeated the midian Knites,
[37:52] Speaker 1: and not because I delivered them into your hand. So
[37:55] Speaker 1: get rid of all them ten thousand people, and God
[37:57] Speaker 1: cuts that whole army down to just three hundred. Meanwhile,
[38:01] Speaker 1: the army of the Midianites and all the people that
[38:03] Speaker 1: came together with them, they said that their camps and
[38:07] Speaker 1: their camels, and their armies were as numerous as this
[38:11] Speaker 1: as sand on the shore of a beach. That's how
[38:15] Speaker 1: many people the Midianites had with them. And God made
[38:18] Speaker 1: sure that Gideon got rid of those ten thousand people,
[38:21] Speaker 1: and he made it into a three hundred army. So
[38:25] Speaker 1: Gideon only has three hundred men behind him to fight
[38:28] Speaker 1: tens of thousands of Midianites.
[38:31] Speaker 2: But what does God do.
[38:32] Speaker 1: He still delivers the Midianites into Gideon's hands, and the
[38:36] Speaker 1: Israelites defeat the Midianknites even though they only had three
[38:40] Speaker 1: hundred And like I said, the Midianites had tens of thousands.
[38:43] Speaker 1: So I just look at that story and I'm just like, Wow,
[38:46] Speaker 1: there are really going to be situations in our lives
[38:48] Speaker 1: that God takes away our self sufficiency. He takes away
[38:53] Speaker 1: our dependency on people. He just takes away in order
[38:57] Speaker 1: for us to understand it's not you that's defeeding your problems,
[39:01] Speaker 1: it's me, and I need to take these things away
[39:04] Speaker 1: from you in order for you to understand that it's me,
[39:07] Speaker 1: so that you can't come out of this on the
[39:09] Speaker 1: other side and then be like, oh, well it's a coincidence.
[39:12] Speaker 1: Oh I did this for myself. No, it was me
[39:14] Speaker 1: the Lord that did this. And so when I think
[39:16] Speaker 1: about all the things that I feel like I've done
[39:19] Speaker 1: for myself and all the good that I feel like
[39:21] Speaker 1: I've done in my own life, God has really been
[39:23] Speaker 1: revealing to me by taking away friendships, taking away relationships,
[39:28] Speaker 1: taking away my dependence on people, my dependence on alcohol,
[39:31] Speaker 1: my dependence on a lot of situations and things in
[39:33] Speaker 1: my life that I felt like I needed to make
[39:35] Speaker 1: me comfortable.
[39:36] Speaker 2: He has totally stripped all.
[39:38] Speaker 1: Those things away, so that I know that when I
[39:40] Speaker 1: come out on the other side, successful, happy, at peace,
[39:47] Speaker 1: that it came from the Lord and not because of
[39:48] Speaker 1: anything that I've done. So really, my biggest struggle has
[39:52] Speaker 1: been stripping away my sense of dependency on myself, like
[39:56] Speaker 1: I said, my own self sufficiency, my own thinking of oh,
[40:00] Speaker 1: oh girl, your self made. We always had this idea
[40:02] Speaker 1: of being self made. Nobody is self made. There's no
[40:05] Speaker 1: such thing as a self made person, like, oh, I
[40:08] Speaker 1: built myself up. No you didn't, because unless you're the
[40:11] Speaker 1: one that put oxygen in your lungs, unless you're the
[40:14] Speaker 1: one that created yourself, unless you're the one that created
[40:17] Speaker 1: your circumstances, no you didn't.
[40:19] Speaker 2: You're not self made.
[40:21] Speaker 1: Everything that is good in our lives we need to
[40:23] Speaker 1: recognize comes from the Lord, and he will take away people.
[40:27] Speaker 1: He will take away circumstances, he will take away money.
[40:30] Speaker 1: Sometimes he will take away what we thought we wanted
[40:33] Speaker 1: in our lives, things that we've been trying to.
[40:35] Speaker 2: Do for years.
[40:36] Speaker 1: He will take away all of those things so that
[40:38] Speaker 1: we realize it was never us in the first place.
[40:41] Speaker 1: It was always God giving us these things. So when
[40:44] Speaker 1: you're in the season of God stripping you down, of
[40:46] Speaker 1: you feeling like, oh, I've done all these things for myself,
[40:49] Speaker 1: and God has taken them away. Just realize he's taking
[40:52] Speaker 1: these things away so that you realize that you need
[40:55] Speaker 1: to have your eyes on him and not in the
[40:57] Speaker 1: mirror looking at you, patting yourself on the back, clapping
[41:00] Speaker 1: for yourself in the mirror, thinking that you did it
[41:02] Speaker 1: all yourself, because you didn't. Every good and perfect gift
[41:05] Speaker 1: comes from above. And this is something that I have
[41:08] Speaker 1: every single day. I just realize, Amani, this is not
[41:11] Speaker 1: about you. Your podcast is not about you. I still
[41:14] Speaker 1: struggle with that, y'all. I still struggle with my social
[41:17] Speaker 1: media not being about me.
[41:18] Speaker 2: I'm an influencer. How is it not about me?
[41:21] Speaker 1: But I still struggle with tell people about God. It's
[41:26] Speaker 1: not all about you. It's not all about buying things,
[41:29] Speaker 1: It's not all about me. It's about this being my ministry,
[41:34] Speaker 1: this being a part of my outreach ministry. I told
[41:38] Speaker 1: you guys how I felt like God has, well, I
[41:40] Speaker 1: didn't feel like he has.
[41:42] Speaker 2: God has totally turned this podcast around.
[41:44] Speaker 1: And sometimes I get caught up in saying what I
[41:47] Speaker 1: want to say, and then I have to go back
[41:49] Speaker 1: and I have to retract it because I feel convicted
[41:52] Speaker 1: about it. I keep doing that, and even in the
[41:54] Speaker 1: struggle God is giving me grace because He's even given
[41:58] Speaker 1: me grace to allow me to struggle.
[42:00] Speaker 2: He's given me grace.
[42:00] Speaker 1: That every single time I mess up and I say
[42:03] Speaker 1: something on on social media that I shouldn't say, he
[42:05] Speaker 1: don't zet me right then and there, Like you have
[42:07] Speaker 1: no idea how many times in your life that God
[42:11] Speaker 1: is giving you grace in every single situation. He gives
[42:15] Speaker 1: us grace to test him, to prove himself to us.
[42:19] Speaker 1: He gives us grace when we doubt him. He gives
[42:21] Speaker 1: us grace when we think that we have our lives
[42:23] Speaker 1: in our own hands. He gives us grace when we're
[42:26] Speaker 1: sending intentionally and unintentionally. And just when I think about
[42:31] Speaker 1: me being bought with a price, and about how Jesus
[42:34] Speaker 1: came down and gave himself for me, for you, for
[42:38] Speaker 1: all of us, I think, while like, I'm not my own,
[42:42] Speaker 1: I was bought with a price, I was redeemed and
[42:48] Speaker 1: a MONI did not do that for a MONI.
[42:50] Speaker 2: Jesus did that for a MONI. My life is not
[42:52] Speaker 2: my own and I need to really release this.
[42:56] Speaker 1: Self idolization that I have cause I love me, you know,
[43:02] Speaker 1: like we should all have self love but we should
[43:05] Speaker 1: never love ourselves.
[43:06] Speaker 2: More than God.
[43:07] Speaker 1: We should never love our lives more than God. We
[43:10] Speaker 1: should never love our plans more than what God has
[43:12] Speaker 1: for us. So really, my biggest hurdle out of all
[43:16] Speaker 1: of these things, has been moving myself out of the
[43:21] Speaker 1: way and really letting God lead my path.
[43:25] Speaker 2: And I would.
[43:26] Speaker 1: Encourage you all to think about the same things in
[43:29] Speaker 1: your life. What are the five things that you are
[43:33] Speaker 1: convicted of, You've been realizing, you've been learning that you
[43:38] Speaker 1: should give up in your life in order to have
[43:39] Speaker 1: a closer relationship with Him. Maybe some of the things
[43:42] Speaker 1: that are going to overlap with what I'm saying. Maybe
[43:44] Speaker 1: you have your own things that you're going through and
[43:46] Speaker 1: you're like, I need to remove this, or you know,
[43:49] Speaker 1: I haven't been feeling right about this.
[43:50] Speaker 2: We all have our own personal convictions.
[43:52] Speaker 1: We all work out our salvation, you know, with our
[43:54] Speaker 1: own relationship with God. But these are the five things
[43:58] Speaker 1: that I have and are still removing in order to
[44:05] Speaker 1: have a deeper connection with the only relationship truly that
[44:13] Speaker 1: really matters. We all want relationships, we all want you know,
[44:17] Speaker 1: not all, but we all want relationships. We all want friendships,
[44:20] Speaker 1: we all want family and God created those things for
[44:24] Speaker 1: us to have. But if we have those things then
[44:27] Speaker 1: we don't have Him, then all those other relationships and
[44:30] Speaker 1: all those other.
[44:30] Speaker 2: Things truly don't matter. They truly don't.
[44:34] Speaker 1: I thank you guys for watching this episode. Thank you
[44:37] Speaker 1: guys for supporting. Go ahead and like and subscribe if
[44:39] Speaker 1: you're not subscribed already, and I will be seeing you
[44:43] Speaker 1: guys later and more full length conversation episodes will be
[44:46] Speaker 1: coming out on Fridays when they get filmed very soon.
[44:49] Speaker 1: Watch out for those new episodes and I will talk
[44:51] Speaker 1: to you guys.
[44:52] Speaker 2: Wada bye

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