# How to tell if he's the man of God for you!

An episode of [Amani Talks Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1669865575), 19 Jul 2024, 28 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/62610863/15442652_how_to_tell_if_he_s_the_man_of_god_for_you.mp3

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## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Hi you guys, Welcome back to the Yamani Talks podcast.
[0:03] Speaker 1: You're here with your host Amani Talks. Why did I
[0:06] Speaker 1: get a comment on the YouTube? A girl was asking me?
[0:10] Speaker 1: She said, is your last name Amani Talks? Like? Is
[0:14] Speaker 1: your last name talks? Because you always introduce yourself as that, y'all.
[0:17] Speaker 1: Let me introduce myself to my new subscribers because I
[0:20] Speaker 1: know I have a lot of new subscribers. Hey, y'all,
[0:23] Speaker 1: shout out to y'all for being subscribers, loyal supporters, followers.
[0:27] Speaker 1: I love you guys. Bless you, Bless you. I'm gonna
[0:30] Speaker 1: pray for y'all. Okay, keep y'all my prayers, write y'all
[0:33] Speaker 1: my prayer journal. But Amni worthm A Moni Talks is
[0:37] Speaker 1: just the host name for the podcast, of course, a
[0:39] Speaker 1: money talks podcast, a Money Talks, But my name is
[0:42] Speaker 1: Amani WORTHM. Here in Atlanta, Georgia. We are here talking
[0:46] Speaker 1: about relationships, faith based relationships. Yeah, representing for all my
[0:51] Speaker 1: single girls out there. I am under thirty, unmarried, but
[0:54] Speaker 1: living in my single season, totally submitting my will, my
[0:58] Speaker 1: life to God and just out here just doing a
[1:02] Speaker 1: zoo full time content creator influencer podcast hosts Amani worthm
[1:06] Speaker 1: Aka Amani Talk. So before we get into our episode,
[1:09] Speaker 1: I just want to give a thanks to our brand
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[1:22] Speaker 1: I absolutely love golds. All my jewelry is always gold,
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[1:29] Speaker 1: Look if you follow me on my soul shows, all
[1:31] Speaker 1: of my sunglasses are always big, wide frames, so these
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[1:45] Speaker 1: I also chose these ones in the back because I
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[2:05] Speaker 1: so I can't try on the prescription glasses. But just
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[2:37] Speaker 1: prescription fashion, all of that all right, now, let's get
[2:40] Speaker 1: into today's episode. So for the past few episodes, we've
[2:43] Speaker 1: been having conversations and discussions with my guests and also
[2:47] Speaker 1: the solo episodes, talking about what you should be doing
[2:50] Speaker 1: in your single season, what it should be looking like,
[2:53] Speaker 1: you getting closer to God, you having your own personal
[2:57] Speaker 1: relationship with him before you get into any type of
[2:59] Speaker 1: other relationship. And now I want to, like, you know,
[3:02] Speaker 1: change gears a little bit and not do so much
[3:05] Speaker 1: of this self reflection because we've already had so many
[3:08] Speaker 1: discussions about that I actually want to talk about what
[3:11] Speaker 1: you should be looking for in a partner. Because even
[3:14] Speaker 1: though we talk about growing in our single season, gaining
[3:17] Speaker 1: an actual relationship, not just going to church, not just
[3:21] Speaker 1: playing Christian, but actually having a relationship with the Lord,
[3:25] Speaker 1: we also have to acknowledge that I think most of
[3:27] Speaker 1: us do want to get married, myself included. Now, is
[3:30] Speaker 1: marriage that end all, be all. We've discussed that as well.
[3:33] Speaker 1: No it's not, but that is a desire of most
[3:36] Speaker 1: of us, am I right? So let's have a little
[3:38] Speaker 1: girl talk and let's get real, and let's talk about
[3:40] Speaker 1: the things that you should be looking for in a
[3:42] Speaker 1: partner and the telltale signs that you are actually with
[3:45] Speaker 1: a man of God, so that you don't have to wonder,
[3:48] Speaker 1: you don't have to go actual friends. You will know
[3:51] Speaker 1: exactly who he is, of course by his fruits, like
[3:54] Speaker 1: the word says, but these are the telltale signs that
[3:57] Speaker 1: will tell you that you are actually with the person
[3:59] Speaker 1: that you know might be for you. So number one,
[4:02] Speaker 1: and I think this goes without saying because I see
[4:05] Speaker 1: so many discussions about this topic already, but let's get
[4:08] Speaker 1: into it. Let's talk about it. If you're with a man,
[4:10] Speaker 1: and you feel like you have to compromise, especially on
[4:13] Speaker 1: your relationship with God and your personal convictions, that is
[4:17] Speaker 1: not the man for you. For example, one of my
[4:19] Speaker 1: personal convictions, at least right now, is that I cannot drink.
[4:23] Speaker 1: I cannot drink comfortably and really feel like I am
[4:27] Speaker 1: representing myself well, like I'm setting a good example, or
[4:31] Speaker 1: like I'm really following what God has called me to
[4:34] Speaker 1: do right now, which is to kind of separate myself
[4:37] Speaker 1: from things that I used to do. Now, that's a
[4:39] Speaker 1: personal conviction of mine, right because even though I mean,
[4:43] Speaker 1: we kind of argue, it's not the drink itself, it's
[4:46] Speaker 1: the getting drunk. Well, aren't you drinking to get drunk
[4:50] Speaker 1: or else you would just have a regular drink. But
[4:51] Speaker 1: that's another conversation for another day. My personal conviction right
[4:55] Speaker 1: now is that I cannot drink. So I know that
[4:57] Speaker 1: God would not send me a man that drinks, right
[5:00] Speaker 1: if I know that He has been telling me, listen
[5:04] Speaker 1: right now, stay away from the alcohol because you need
[5:07] Speaker 1: to do this, do that. Whatever the situation is, God
[5:10] Speaker 1: would not send me a man that's going to put
[5:13] Speaker 1: me in a situation to where I am tempted put
[5:17] Speaker 1: me in a situation to where he has a lifestyle
[5:20] Speaker 1: that's a weakness of mine. He wouldn't do that. God
[5:23] Speaker 1: would only send you a person in your life that's
[5:26] Speaker 1: going to be for your benefit and that's going to
[5:29] Speaker 1: uphold what you have going on, especially when it comes
[5:32] Speaker 1: to our personal convictions, and like I said, our relationship
[5:35] Speaker 1: with him, this man should also be encouraging you to
[5:39] Speaker 1: have a stronger relationship with God. Now why do I
[5:42] Speaker 1: say that, Okay, I say that because there are a
[5:45] Speaker 1: lot of people that go to church and that's their show,
[5:51] Speaker 1: you know, that's their show of them being a Christian.
[5:54] Speaker 1: That's the only thing that they can check off their
[5:56] Speaker 1: Christian quote unquote card is that they go to church
[6:00] Speaker 1: on Sunday morning. I remember when I was in high
[6:02] Speaker 1: school college, I was dating this guy and I was,
[6:06] Speaker 1: you know, getting back serious with my relationship with the Lord.
[6:09] Speaker 1: And I told him. I was like, Hey, I'm going
[6:12] Speaker 1: to church every Sunday. I'm gonna invite you, right. And
[6:15] Speaker 1: this was me being you know, kind of young and naive.
[6:18] Speaker 1: I was like eighteen nineteen at the time, thinking, Oh,
[6:21] Speaker 1: if my boyfriend comes to church with me, then that
[6:23] Speaker 1: means our relationship is a godly relationship, you know, try
[6:26] Speaker 1: to justify it every which way. So he came to
[6:29] Speaker 1: church with me one Sunday. He even came to church
[6:33] Speaker 1: with me a second Sunday. But one thing about it,
[6:37] Speaker 1: you can't fake it for long. So you don't want
[6:40] Speaker 1: someone that's just going to show up and do something
[6:43] Speaker 1: like church just to get in your good graces and
[6:47] Speaker 1: just to show you, oh, I'm a man of God.
[6:48] Speaker 1: I go to church. It is so much more than that.
[6:51] Speaker 1: You should have someone in your life that is really
[6:54] Speaker 1: pursuing an actual relationship with God and encourages you to
[6:58] Speaker 1: do the same. It's like you guys are both running
[7:00] Speaker 1: towards the end goal and you just happen to meet
[7:03] Speaker 1: somewhere along the way. You basically just want someone that
[7:06] Speaker 1: matches your energy. So if you're doing a B and
[7:09] Speaker 1: C in your relationship with the Lord, now is every
[7:13] Speaker 1: person called through the same exact AB and C as
[7:15] Speaker 1: you know, but they should have their own AB and
[7:17] Speaker 1: C that matches somew what you're doing in your life.
[7:21] Speaker 1: You want an equally yoked partner. You want someone that's
[7:24] Speaker 1: not going to just you know, play the part, but actually,
[7:29] Speaker 1: like you can see in his life, in his prayer life,
[7:32] Speaker 1: and how he conducts himself, how he acts around other people.
[7:35] Speaker 1: So if you have to compromise, if you feel like
[7:38] Speaker 1: being with this person, you can't. You know, they're infringing
[7:42] Speaker 1: on your time with God, your you know, the ministries
[7:46] Speaker 1: that you're in, the serving in your church, whatever it is.
[7:50] Speaker 1: If they're hindering any part of that, and you know
[7:53] Speaker 1: that God has you on that road and he he
[7:57] Speaker 1: has you on that track, and this person hindering any
[8:00] Speaker 1: part of that, that's probably not the man for usis.
[8:04] Speaker 1: And then this point actually leads me into my second point,
[8:07] Speaker 1: which is you should want to date someone that serves
[8:12] Speaker 1: in their church. Now, I know that might be a
[8:16] Speaker 1: little like okay, girl, like you're doing too much. He
[8:18] Speaker 1: could be a man of God and not serving in
[8:20] Speaker 1: his church. My thing is, how are you a man
[8:23] Speaker 1: of God or a woman of God and you don't
[8:24] Speaker 1: serve in your church? Like how when we know that
[8:31] Speaker 1: when you get saved, the Holy Spirit gives you a
[8:34] Speaker 1: certain gift, a certain talent within the Body of Christ,
[8:38] Speaker 1: why would you not be using that God given gift
[8:41] Speaker 1: or talents to serve in your church and serve in
[8:43] Speaker 1: your community? Like really, think about it. It's a waste.
[8:49] Speaker 1: It's like the parable of the Talents and Matthew right
[8:53] Speaker 1: where Jesus is talking about a master giving his servants
[8:57] Speaker 1: certain allotments of money and to servants go out and
[9:01] Speaker 1: do good with the money and get a return. And
[9:03] Speaker 1: then one servant was like, well, I was afraid that
[9:06] Speaker 1: I was going to misuse it or lose it or
[9:08] Speaker 1: whatever he said. So I just buried it and I
[9:10] Speaker 1: didn't do anything about it. I didn't go out and
[9:12] Speaker 1: try to actually use what you gave me. And we
[9:16] Speaker 1: know the response that the Master gave him, and it
[9:19] Speaker 1: wasn't a good one. So if you have certain gifts
[9:21] Speaker 1: and talents that the Holy Spirit has given you, you
[9:23] Speaker 1: should be using them. And if you're using them, you
[9:26] Speaker 1: and a person that's also using them. So this just
[9:29] Speaker 1: kind of goes with what we were talking before concerning
[9:32] Speaker 1: someone just serving the Lord with the same intensity the
[9:35] Speaker 1: same drive as you. And like I said, not everyone
[9:38] Speaker 1: is going to have the same intensity or mission ministry
[9:43] Speaker 1: as you. But that's not the person that God will
[9:47] Speaker 1: probably send you. Right, God would send you somebody equally
[9:50] Speaker 1: yoked in all the ways that you can think about
[9:52] Speaker 1: being equally yoked. He wouldn't send you someone that is
[9:56] Speaker 1: like fifty percent while you're seventy percent. Like, God knows,
[10:00] Speaker 1: he's not gonna do that. Now, let's get in some
[10:02] Speaker 1: more of the family side. Now. I know we all
[10:05] Speaker 1: have our difference beliefs or just preferences when it comes
[10:09] Speaker 1: to maybe dating somebody that already has kids, or dating
[10:12] Speaker 1: somebody that's been divorced. Preferably for me, I want neither.
[10:17] Speaker 1: You guys already know how I feel about kids. It's
[10:19] Speaker 1: just my preference not to date someone that's been divorced
[10:22] Speaker 1: because I feel like, bruh, you already had a whole
[10:26] Speaker 1: family before me, Like this was your wife before I
[10:29] Speaker 1: was your wife. I don't know. Like, of course, there's
[10:32] Speaker 1: grace forgiveness in all situations, so I'm not talking about
[10:36] Speaker 1: that per se. I'm just saying my own preference. We
[10:38] Speaker 1: all have our own preferences, but there are just certain
[10:41] Speaker 1: things that are not preferences and should also be non
[10:44] Speaker 1: negotiables when you are considering it's someone for you. One
[10:49] Speaker 1: of those things is, look at the relationship that this
[10:52] Speaker 1: man has with his family. Look at how he treats
[10:55] Speaker 1: his mom's, his dad in his life. Look at how
[10:58] Speaker 1: his family supports him. Are they around him, do they
[11:01] Speaker 1: encourage him to do the right thing? Does he come
[11:04] Speaker 1: from a legacy or a lineage of godly men and
[11:07] Speaker 1: godly women that are married and have god led marriages. Now,
[11:11] Speaker 1: not everyone gets married, not everyone stays married. But I
[11:16] Speaker 1: I don't think it's really a preference. It's really kind
[11:19] Speaker 1: of just more logical to me that whatever a person
[11:22] Speaker 1: grows up seeing, especially in their household and within their family,
[11:26] Speaker 1: they are more likely to repeat in their own lives.
[11:29] Speaker 1: I know that this is an extreme example, but it's
[11:31] Speaker 1: just the first thing that kind of came to my head.
[11:33] Speaker 1: When we think about domestic violence. We know that the
[11:36] Speaker 1: facts and the studies and the research reflect that if
[11:39] Speaker 1: someone witnessed one of their parents being physically abused, for
[11:43] Speaker 1: the men, they're more likely to be the abusers, and
[11:47] Speaker 1: for the women, they're more likely to pick a partner
[11:49] Speaker 1: who is an abuser, right Like research shows that. So
[11:53] Speaker 1: there are just so many cycles of you know, just
[11:55] Speaker 1: like generational trauma. You know, they call them generational curses,
[12:00] Speaker 1: things that just we're more likely to repeat because we
[12:03] Speaker 1: grew up seeing them. And Uh, it's a preference, I
[12:09] Speaker 1: guess But for me, it just makes common sense that
[12:12] Speaker 1: if I can have someone that came from a good family,
[12:16] Speaker 1: I would take that any day over someone that maybe
[12:20] Speaker 1: came from a broken home man, maybe saw some abuse.
[12:24] Speaker 1: You know, that's just it just makes sense to me
[12:27] Speaker 1: if I could choose. Now, am I saying I'm going
[12:29] Speaker 1: to automatically eliminate any man that didn't have his father
[12:33] Speaker 1: in the house and might've grown up seeing some traumatic things. No,
[12:37] Speaker 1: of course not, because we know that nothing is one
[12:39] Speaker 1: hundred percent, nothing is ever always right. But I'm just
[12:43] Speaker 1: talking about, you know, just factor that. Just just have
[12:47] Speaker 1: that in the back of your mind. If he didn't
[12:49] Speaker 1: have his dad, what are the odds that he's going
[12:53] Speaker 1: to go on and really know how to be a
[12:55] Speaker 1: good dad or be a good husband. A woman can't
[12:58] Speaker 1: teach a boy how to be a man. Only a
[12:59] Speaker 1: man can do that. Really, look at his family, Look
[13:03] Speaker 1: at his family dynamic. Like I said, look at how
[13:05] Speaker 1: he treats his family, how his family treats yours. Because
[13:08] Speaker 1: if you plan on marrying that man and having his children,
[13:12] Speaker 1: that's going to be your family. So forget about all
[13:15] Speaker 1: the big, kind of more extreme things. Just look at
[13:19] Speaker 1: his family. Dynamic. Is that the dynamic that you want
[13:21] Speaker 1: for you and your children. If his mom don't like you,
[13:25] Speaker 1: you want that like you know, just like stuff like that,
[13:28] Speaker 1: stuff that we just talk about and we have to
[13:31] Speaker 1: consider as women, consider his family because his family shows
[13:36] Speaker 1: you the things that he grew up seeing, the things
[13:39] Speaker 1: that he grew up normalizing, and also what you're potentially
[13:43] Speaker 1: marrying into. On one of my previous episodes, my guest
[13:46] Speaker 1: Deshauna Barber, you guys go watch that one. It's a
[13:49] Speaker 1: really good episode. I think it's about two conversations behind
[13:52] Speaker 1: on the full length episodes, and she was talking about
[13:55] Speaker 1: how her husband came from a good two parent household
[13:59] Speaker 1: and she did not. She grew up with her mom,
[14:02] Speaker 1: but she knew her dad, but her dad was just
[14:04] Speaker 1: not in the home and not I guess consistently around.
[14:09] Speaker 1: And she said that she felt like her husband kind
[14:11] Speaker 1: of got the short end of the stick by marrying
[14:14] Speaker 1: her because she had such a pessimistic and jaded view
[14:17] Speaker 1: of relationships, and their first year of marriage was really rocky,
[14:21] Speaker 1: and she took accountability and said it was because of
[14:23] Speaker 1: her because she did not grow up seeing successful marriages
[14:27] Speaker 1: and projected that into her own relationship subconsciously, probably until
[14:32] Speaker 1: she realized what she was doing. So it's just going
[14:35] Speaker 1: to be a lot easier for you guys if you
[14:36] Speaker 1: just really look into that man's family history, like I said,
[14:41] Speaker 1: the dynamic, see what's going on, and really analyze if
[14:45] Speaker 1: that's something that you want to marry into. Now, this
[14:48] Speaker 1: next point is maybe a little bit more subjective and
[14:51] Speaker 1: really dependent on the type of lifestyle that you want
[14:54] Speaker 1: to have personally. But I know the type of lifestyle
[14:57] Speaker 1: that I want to have and I want my has
[15:00] Speaker 1: been to have a provider mindset. Now do I want
[15:04] Speaker 1: him to fund my whole life and I don't put
[15:07] Speaker 1: any money into our union or I don't invest invest anything. No,
[15:12] Speaker 1: What I mean with provider mindset is if he has to,
[15:16] Speaker 1: he will, and he will do it happily. He's not
[15:20] Speaker 1: going to look at me like, oh, well, what do
[15:23] Speaker 1: you bring into the table? That won't even be a
[15:26] Speaker 1: thought or a discussion that we would ever have because
[15:29] Speaker 1: he knows that he's getting me. He knows that I'm
[15:32] Speaker 1: the table. I'm the table, and he's the one that
[15:35] Speaker 1: brings something to the table. Right, women have to really
[15:39] Speaker 1: understand and really really internalize the fact that women are
[15:44] Speaker 1: more reproductively valuable because we can only have one baby
[15:48] Speaker 1: at a time, or you know, twins or triplets, whatever,
[15:50] Speaker 1: but most of the time it's one baby at a time.
[15:53] Speaker 1: So that makes us more valuable reproductively. And a lot
[15:57] Speaker 1: of men want children. So if you're dealing with the
[15:59] Speaker 1: average man that wants children and the average woman that
[16:02] Speaker 1: wants children, the woman is going to be more valuable.
[16:05] Speaker 1: So he has to prove to her that he's the
[16:08] Speaker 1: one that should impregnate her and you know, keep her
[16:10] Speaker 1: out of commission for nine or ten months. Now, should
[16:14] Speaker 1: you be vetting each other, Yes, But we're talking about
[16:17] Speaker 1: being valuable to the dating pool. And I think that
[16:20] Speaker 1: women have really forgotten this. They have let the tables
[16:23] Speaker 1: get turned around on them for them to really feel
[16:26] Speaker 1: like the man is the prize. How is the man
[16:29] Speaker 1: the prize? He can't hold a baby in his system?
[16:33] Speaker 1: You do that. You are the one that holds a
[16:35] Speaker 1: baby in your system for ten months. You're the one
[16:37] Speaker 1: that has to risk your life. You know, the mortality
[16:42] Speaker 1: rates for Black women when we're having children, it is
[16:46] Speaker 1: kind of high in this country. You have to risk
[16:48] Speaker 1: your you know, it might seem a little vain, but
[16:51] Speaker 1: the way that you look for at least a little while.
[16:54] Speaker 1: There are a lot of risk factors when it comes
[16:56] Speaker 1: to not just carrying someone's kid, but delivering someone's kid.
[17:00] Speaker 1: You are valuable if in no other way than just
[17:03] Speaker 1: that way. Period. If you want to have children, you
[17:06] Speaker 1: are valuable in that way. Now are you valuable and
[17:10] Speaker 1: tons of other ways. Of course, we're not just baby makers,
[17:14] Speaker 1: we're not just wives. I talk about that all the
[17:16] Speaker 1: time too. But in the very least, you are more
[17:19] Speaker 1: valuable in the dating market because of your reproductive value.
[17:24] Speaker 1: And the man should be trying to prove why he
[17:26] Speaker 1: should be the one. Like I said, that takes you
[17:29] Speaker 1: out of commission for nine to ten months. So don't
[17:31] Speaker 1: let like I said, don't let these men fool you.
[17:34] Speaker 1: Don't let society fool you. Don't let these desperate situations
[17:38] Speaker 1: fool you into thinking, oh, I just got to give
[17:42] Speaker 1: me a good man. No, a good man has to
[17:44] Speaker 1: get you. Even the Bible says that a man that
[17:48] Speaker 1: finds a wife, right, Okay, then so if your lifestyle
[17:52] Speaker 1: preference is hey, yeah, I kind of do prefer to
[17:55] Speaker 1: have a man that has more of a provider lifestyle
[17:58] Speaker 1: and honestly, we should all have that mindset because the
[18:01] Speaker 1: Bible tells us that too. One Timothy five to eight says,
[18:04] Speaker 1: if anyone fails to provide for his own his own
[18:08] Speaker 1: and especially for those of his own family, he has
[18:12] Speaker 1: denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. It's
[18:16] Speaker 1: biblical that you should want to be with a man
[18:18] Speaker 1: that's going to provide for you, because, like I said,
[18:20] Speaker 1: if you want to have kids, let's say you have
[18:23] Speaker 1: to be out of commission. Literally, you can't work, you
[18:25] Speaker 1: can't be on your feet, whatever the situation is, for
[18:28] Speaker 1: nine to ten months. You want someone that's gonna be
[18:30] Speaker 1: able to take care of you and that baby. Like
[18:31] Speaker 1: let's say that you can't work and you won't like
[18:34] Speaker 1: you can't have birth, and then zip I go back
[18:36] Speaker 1: to work and next day like, no, you are actually
[18:39] Speaker 1: going to be out of work for maybe what is it?
[18:42] Speaker 1: I think maternity leave is what six weeks in this country,
[18:45] Speaker 1: which is absolutely crazy because that's not enough time to
[18:49] Speaker 1: spend with your newborn baby. I mean, America is so
[18:52] Speaker 1: behind when it comes to maternity leave. And then most
[18:55] Speaker 1: fathers don't get any type of paternity leave at all.
[18:58] Speaker 1: They don't even think about the dad. But like I said,
[19:01] Speaker 1: let's say that you really do have to be out
[19:03] Speaker 1: with your baby, but beyond the six weeks, and you
[19:06] Speaker 1: even if it's just something that you want to do, like, no,
[19:09] Speaker 1: I don't want to leave my newborn atter six weeks.
[19:11] Speaker 1: I do want to spend more time with him. Get
[19:13] Speaker 1: a man that's gonna be able to be like, yeah,
[19:15] Speaker 1: like stay home with the kid. I'm gonna I'll handle
[19:18] Speaker 1: the bills. Not like I said, is that a preference
[19:21] Speaker 1: for some I guess. But like I said, biblically, you
[19:25] Speaker 1: on tapping my phone like it's my Bible, but I
[19:27] Speaker 1: have my Verse pulled up. Biblically, you should be looking
[19:31] Speaker 1: for a man that has the provider mindset and for
[19:33] Speaker 1: no other reason, just for the just in case. And
[19:37] Speaker 1: I can't believe I even have to say this, but
[19:40] Speaker 1: in the world that we are living in today, it's
[19:43] Speaker 1: just absolutely nuts. Get you a man that's also chivalrous.
[19:48] Speaker 1: Get you a man that opens the car door, doesn't
[19:51] Speaker 1: let you touch a door handle, doesn't let you, you know,
[19:55] Speaker 1: drive a pi's in the car, doesn't let you pump
[19:57] Speaker 1: your own gas. Get you a man that just the
[20:00] Speaker 1: little things, the little things are really what matters. I mean,
[20:04] Speaker 1: anyone can splurge on your birthday or you know, once
[20:08] Speaker 1: a year, but the consistency is where it's really at.
[20:11] Speaker 1: Get someone who is consistently good to you and the
[20:14] Speaker 1: little things that matter, especially if you've already expressed to
[20:18] Speaker 1: him what your love language is, the things that you value,
[20:24] Speaker 1: because we all don't value the same things. For me,
[20:26] Speaker 1: I'm a gifts and quality time person. For somebody else,
[20:29] Speaker 1: it might be words of affirmation. For someone else, it's
[20:33] Speaker 1: acts of kindness. You know, we all have different things
[20:36] Speaker 1: that we value. But if you've expressed to them the
[20:39] Speaker 1: things that you like and then they're still not doing it,
[20:43] Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like it goes without saying, but
[20:46] Speaker 1: that's not the man for usus, and that's definitely not
[20:50] Speaker 1: a man of God. And the very least a man
[20:52] Speaker 1: of God is going to treat you with the utmost respect,
[20:56] Speaker 1: and I would even go as far as to say
[20:58] Speaker 1: chivalrous respect, because he knows, even if you are not
[21:02] Speaker 1: his wife, you are still the daughter of Jesus Christ.
[21:06] Speaker 1: You are still the Lord's child. You are still his daughter,
[21:10] Speaker 1: and he is going to treat you like a sister
[21:12] Speaker 1: in Christ. And treat you with the utmost respect because
[21:16] Speaker 1: he doesn't want to offend your father, who's also his father.
[21:19] Speaker 1: The amounts of respect that a man is willing to
[21:21] Speaker 1: give you and will give you in every stage of
[21:25] Speaker 1: whatever your courtship is, your friendship is, and then also
[21:28] Speaker 1: going on to your marriage will really show you how
[21:32] Speaker 1: close of a relationship he has with the Lord. Also
[21:35] Speaker 1: because he doesn't want any smoke, Like he don't want
[21:39] Speaker 1: no smoke with God. He knows that he is accountable
[21:42] Speaker 1: and has the answer to him for how he treats everyone,
[21:45] Speaker 1: especially the woman that he's courting and marrying. Right, So
[21:50] Speaker 1: if he knows I got an answer to God and
[21:54] Speaker 1: that ain't no joke, then he's going to make sure
[21:58] Speaker 1: he's he got you like this, Like he does not
[22:03] Speaker 1: want to argue with you, He does not want to
[22:04] Speaker 1: raise his voice to you, He don't want to do
[22:06] Speaker 1: none of those things because he knows God is going
[22:09] Speaker 1: to get him. Okay. It just makes me think of
[22:12] Speaker 1: the people that say things like you can't judge me,
[22:15] Speaker 1: You can't tell me what to do, Only God can
[22:17] Speaker 1: judge me. What First of all, I would think that
[22:20] Speaker 1: you would prefer to get judged by a human being
[22:23] Speaker 1: who's also imperfect and can't do anything but maybe say
[22:27] Speaker 1: some words to you that you don't agree with. You
[22:29] Speaker 1: want God to judge you, a perfect God that's going
[22:32] Speaker 1: to judge you based off of your merits, and you
[22:35] Speaker 1: don't do anything good. We are not good people. We
[22:39] Speaker 1: do know good, and you want God, the perfect God,
[22:43] Speaker 1: to judge you and your actions. Says I don't think
[22:45] Speaker 1: you actually want that. I think you would actually prefer
[22:49] Speaker 1: for someone else to judge you. Not to say that
[22:53] Speaker 1: judging someone is okay. But the people that say only
[22:55] Speaker 1: God can judge me really confuse me, because first of all,
[22:58] Speaker 1: you can, like anyone says only God can judge me automatically.
[23:01] Speaker 1: You know, they don't really read the Bible because you
[23:05] Speaker 1: want God's judgment. I just got done reading. I just finished, Joshua. No,
[23:10] Speaker 1: I'm in judges. So I've been reading through, of course,
[23:13] Speaker 1: the ups and downs with the Israelites and God leading
[23:15] Speaker 1: them out of Egypt when they did something wrong. Listen, plagues.
[23:21] Speaker 1: There is one scene where the earth opened up and
[23:24] Speaker 1: swallowed people. There was fire that burnt people up. Like
[23:28] Speaker 1: you want God's judgment, I don't think you do, So
[23:31] Speaker 1: stop saying that like, stop saying that I don't think
[23:35] Speaker 1: you really do want God's judgment, because trust me, it's
[23:38] Speaker 1: gonna be way harsher than anything that anyone else can
[23:41] Speaker 1: say or do to you when it comes to judgment.
[23:44] Speaker 1: So just keep that in mind. Yes, So, the man
[23:46] Speaker 1: that God is going to send you, because he knows
[23:49] Speaker 1: that he's accountable to God, is going to do everything
[23:51] Speaker 1: in his power to make sure that he's treating you
[23:54] Speaker 1: to the best of his ability. And lastly, coming to
[23:58] Speaker 1: our last points, I don't believe that the man that
[24:01] Speaker 1: God is going to send for you is going to
[24:03] Speaker 1: have sex with you before marriage. No, he's not going
[24:07] Speaker 1: to have you over his apartment late night, just the
[24:09] Speaker 1: two of you. No, he's not going to ask you
[24:12] Speaker 1: to come over to his apartment and your date is
[24:14] Speaker 1: going to be him cooking for you. He's not going
[24:17] Speaker 1: to even put you in that situation to where something
[24:20] Speaker 1: could possibly happen. Right, Because we don't just fall into
[24:24] Speaker 1: certain things. A lot of things are decisions. If you
[24:27] Speaker 1: struggle with lust and your abstino and then you know,
[24:32] Speaker 1: we all we all fall down and we all get
[24:34] Speaker 1: back up. Yeah, but you have to really reflect on
[24:36] Speaker 1: the steps that you took that, you know, to where
[24:41] Speaker 1: you fell down, because we don't just fall into sex.
[24:44] Speaker 1: You decided to text that person, You decided to go
[24:46] Speaker 1: over their house, or they come over your house late
[24:48] Speaker 1: at night. You decided to be close, you decided to
[24:51] Speaker 1: take your clothes off, you know, like all these decisions
[24:54] Speaker 1: that lead up to the to the big thing that happens.
[24:57] Speaker 1: And I wholeheartedly believe that a man of God, the
[25:00] Speaker 1: man that God sends you, is never gonna put you
[25:02] Speaker 1: in that predicament. Really, there should be no contact like
[25:06] Speaker 1: that period before you're married. He's courting you, getting to
[25:11] Speaker 1: know you as a sister in Christ, or he's married
[25:14] Speaker 1: to you. There's really no in between. And people that
[25:17] Speaker 1: have the boyfriend and girlfriend's title for a year, two years,
[25:21] Speaker 1: three years, I really just kind of sometimes feel bad
[25:23] Speaker 1: for them because it's like that man knows if he
[25:26] Speaker 1: wants to marror you or not by now he does,
[25:29] Speaker 1: he's just kind of keeping the situation on ice because
[25:32] Speaker 1: you're letting him, don't let him, And a man of
[25:34] Speaker 1: God wouldn't do that. He wouldn't have sex with you
[25:36] Speaker 1: before marriage. He wouldn't even lead you into possibly having
[25:40] Speaker 1: that temptation. And he might keep that courtship kind of quick,
[25:44] Speaker 1: you know, like he's like, Okay, this is the woman
[25:46] Speaker 1: that God has for me. I'm going to act on this.
[25:49] Speaker 1: You're not gonna be confused with him. You're not gonna
[25:52] Speaker 1: be like, what is it taking so long? What hasn't he?
[25:55] Speaker 1: A man of God is not going to do that.
[25:56] Speaker 1: He's going to be very clear with his intentions. He's
[25:59] Speaker 1: gonna treat you with respect. He's gonna push you closer
[26:02] Speaker 1: to a relationship with God. And none of those things
[26:04] Speaker 1: are going to have you compromise on any of your values, morals, convictions,
[26:09] Speaker 1: none of that. So yeah, those are my things that
[26:12] Speaker 1: I really consider when i'm you know, kind of well,
[26:15] Speaker 1: I'm not in my dating season at all. I'm still
[26:17] Speaker 1: in my single season. Phone drier than a bag of bones, okay,
[26:21] Speaker 1: drier than the Sahara desert. And that's okay because I
[26:25] Speaker 1: am joining my church soon. I think this upcoming Sunday,
[26:30] Speaker 1: I have really found my ministry, my ministry of outreach
[26:33] Speaker 1: that I'm going to really try to expand within my church.
[26:35] Speaker 1: I have my podcast, i have my you know, my influencing.
[26:39] Speaker 1: I'm doing a lot right now. And the man that
[26:41] Speaker 1: God sends me is gonna match me. I know I'm
[26:44] Speaker 1: not going to question it. I'm going to totally accept
[26:47] Speaker 1: it and understand it. But while I'm in my single
[26:49] Speaker 1: season right now, I'm fully devoting myself to me and God.
[26:53] Speaker 1: And when God sends me that person, these are the
[26:55] Speaker 1: things that I'm going to consider for me to realize. Okay,
[26:59] Speaker 1: this is a God fearing man and the man that
[27:02] Speaker 1: God has for me. So I hope you guys enjoyed
[27:04] Speaker 1: this episode. I hope you all are blessed by it.
[27:07] Speaker 1: Consider these things, sis, consider these things. Okay, this is
[27:11] Speaker 1: the vetting process. This is the time that you are
[27:14] Speaker 1: really considering who you're gonna spend the rest of your
[27:16] Speaker 1: life with, girl, because that is not a decision that
[27:19] Speaker 1: you take lightly. When you're single, at least you have
[27:23] Speaker 1: hope for what can come. But once you're locked down
[27:25] Speaker 1: with somebody because you probably did it out of impatience
[27:29] Speaker 1: or desperation or whatever the situation is, that's it. You
[27:33] Speaker 1: are with that person like so make sure that they
[27:38] Speaker 1: are the person that God has for you. All Right,
[27:41] Speaker 1: you guys, be blessed. Happy Friday, have a good weekend.
[27:45] Speaker 1: I'll talk to you guys laid on bye,

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