# The devil created rom-coms | Kingdom vs Culture

An episode of [Amani Talks Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1669865575), 15 Jan 2025, 49 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/63694960/vic_marraige_audio.mp3

Episode 2 of Amani and Victoria's mini-series of "Kingdom vs. Culture" is all about our modern relationships, the lies we need to dispel and the God's truth we need to adopt.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Hi guys, Welcome back to the Amani Talks podcast. You
[0:03] Speaker 1: hear with your host Amani Talks on the podcast where
[0:05] Speaker 1: wediscuss our Christian based topics and deepening our relationship with
[0:09] Speaker 1: the Lord. And we have Victoria back of course, episode
[0:13] Speaker 1: two of our Culture Versus Kingdom, a little series that
[0:16] Speaker 1: we're collabing on. Last week we did who were we
[0:20] Speaker 1: talking about? Modesty? Modesty girls? Last wee week the modesty,
[0:24] Speaker 1: and this week we are going to talk about zating.
[0:27] Speaker 1: You guys know, I used to my podcast used to
[0:30] Speaker 1: be one hundred percent I mean, it wasn't one hundred
[0:33] Speaker 1: percent relationships. I'd just like to talk about that, especially
[0:37] Speaker 1: as a black podcast, because Black people need a lot
[0:39] Speaker 1: of help with relationships. Like it just it is what
[0:42] Speaker 1: it is. Yeah. So I used to really love to
[0:45] Speaker 1: talk about relationships because I love to talk about marriage,
[0:48] Speaker 1: getting people married. What's your problem, Let's get it together
[0:52] Speaker 1: so you can get married. Because you can't talk about
[0:55] Speaker 1: advancing black people without talking about black households, because that's
[1:00] Speaker 1: that's how you grow up. The Black communities is incredible.
[1:02] Speaker 1: It starts right there, and that starts with marriage. Absolutely.
[1:05] Speaker 1: So that's why if you guys see that a reoccurring
[1:09] Speaker 1: theme of something that I like to talk about is relationships.
[1:12] Speaker 1: That's why you guys, But I try to approach it differently.
[1:17] Speaker 1: I don't like to say the same thing twice, even
[1:19] Speaker 1: though I will harp on something if y'all ain't hearing me.
[1:22] Speaker 1: But I do want to tackle culture versus kingdom when
[1:25] Speaker 1: it comes to dating. So what do you think Victoria
[1:30] Speaker 1: is how the culture approaches dating. I think culture has
[1:36] Speaker 1: it all wrong, and it's just it's tough. It's tough.
[1:41] Speaker 1: I think we glamorize.
[1:46] Speaker 2: Here's the biggest thing when it comes to dating in
[1:48] Speaker 2: the culture, there's just no goal, there's no purpose, there's
[1:52] Speaker 2: no intention. We're biting for a boyfriend, girlfriend title, not
[1:57] Speaker 2: husband and wife.
[1:58] Speaker 1: And this is why you'll catch.
[2:00] Speaker 2: Homegrowling relationship for seven plus years because they're living together.
[2:04] Speaker 1: She's doing all the white things.
[2:06] Speaker 2: But homeboys like you don't need a ring, Like I'm
[2:09] Speaker 2: getting everything I need from you without any intention or
[2:13] Speaker 2: purpose on my end. And so I think the biggest
[2:16] Speaker 2: thing that I think of is just the aimlessness of
[2:19] Speaker 2: it all. We're not dating with any conviction and purpose
[2:23] Speaker 2: and intention.
[2:25] Speaker 1: Also, going a little deeper, what do you think the
[2:28] Speaker 1: culture says about marriage specifically.
[2:30] Speaker 2: I think culture says that marriage is a piece of
[2:33] Speaker 2: paper and that is pointless, and that why we got
[2:36] Speaker 2: to get married.
[2:37] Speaker 1: I mean, we're gonna be together forever. I just think
[2:40] Speaker 1: that it.
[2:40] Speaker 2: Completely takes away the covenant and the holiness of it.
[2:44] Speaker 2: That's what culture says about marriage.
[2:46] Speaker 1: See, I agree with you there, but I more so
[2:49] Speaker 1: think it's kind of on the opposite end of the
[2:52] Speaker 1: spectrum to where culture looks at marriage as a fulfillment
[2:56] Speaker 1: of self. Okay, they look at marriage as an accomplished
[3:00] Speaker 1: something that everyone should do in their life. And that's
[3:02] Speaker 1: why when women get engaged, they quick to show you
[3:05] Speaker 1: that ring. They're like, oh, I got the ring, as
[3:07] Speaker 1: if they accomplish something. So I think culture looks at
[3:11] Speaker 1: a marriage as something to be had. I think they
[3:14] Speaker 1: look at marriage as something to check off their list.
[3:17] Speaker 1: At a certain age, everyone should have experienced marriage, and
[3:19] Speaker 1: if you don't, there's something wrong with you.
[3:21] Speaker 2: I think, one hundred percent, I think there's two categories
[3:24] Speaker 2: of people, and I think it's that both of people
[3:27] Speaker 2: that it's an accomplishment. And you got a lot of people,
[3:29] Speaker 2: because I've heard this a lot that age is just
[3:31] Speaker 2: a piece of paper and it's not important and we
[3:33] Speaker 2: don't need to do it, and so yeah, I completely.
[3:35] Speaker 1: Agree with that side as well. Yeah, but one thing
[3:38] Speaker 1: about it. Both sides are wrong, very both sides are
[3:43] Speaker 1: wrong because on the side that I'm talking about a
[3:47] Speaker 1: lot of people, when you're talking about getting married for
[3:50] Speaker 1: self and you just want to get the ring, a
[3:52] Speaker 1: lot of people married for happiness. However you feel about
[3:56] Speaker 1: that is really irrelevant when we know the true purpose
[4:01] Speaker 1: of marriage, and the true purpose of marriage is not
[4:04] Speaker 1: your own personal happiness, right, And if you are getting
[4:06] Speaker 1: married just so that you can feel happy or you
[4:09] Speaker 1: can feel in love for the next fifty years, don't
[4:12] Speaker 1: get married because that's not going to happen. Yeah, this
[4:14] Speaker 1: is why divorce rate is fifty one percent. That's not
[4:16] Speaker 1: going to happen. Literally, this is why divorce rate is
[4:18] Speaker 1: fifty one percent.
[4:19] Speaker 2: Because how are we supposed to marry flawed people and
[4:22] Speaker 2: expect to be happy for the rest of our life.
[4:24] Speaker 2: It is just so much deeper than that, y'all. Life
[4:27] Speaker 2: really is. But you know, Satan loves divorce, so that
[4:31] Speaker 2: is it really is makes sense as to why that
[4:34] Speaker 2: is something that he, you know, tries to tell the
[4:37] Speaker 2: world like, yeah, I get married and be happy forever.
[4:39] Speaker 2: That is not going to be the case at all.
[4:41] Speaker 1: I would even say, I know y'all gonna be like, girl,
[4:46] Speaker 1: what is you talking about? But y'all know me, I'm
[4:47] Speaker 1: gonna speak my mind. I would almost say that these
[4:51] Speaker 1: rom coms that we see that, and I'm a huge
[4:54] Speaker 1: rom com I think I've seen every rom com like
[4:58] Speaker 1: the popular ones, and I still watch them, but I
[5:00] Speaker 1: take it very lightly. I look at them a lot
[5:02] Speaker 1: differently now. But I will say that rom coms are
[5:05] Speaker 1: a byproduct of the devil. The devil was in his
[5:09] Speaker 1: bag in his film industry era, okay, making these rom coms.
[5:14] Speaker 1: Because rom coms make the person believe that marriage is
[5:19] Speaker 1: all about romantic love. It's not about anything else. The
[5:23] Speaker 1: heart chooses who you marry, and it makes you believe
[5:26] Speaker 1: that despite everything else, as long as you're happy within
[5:29] Speaker 1: your marriage and you pick the person that makes you
[5:32] Speaker 1: feel all you know butterflies inside, that everything will work
[5:35] Speaker 1: out and it's happily ever after. And they don't talk
[5:39] Speaker 1: about any purpose in your marriage in those movies. They
[5:42] Speaker 1: don't talk about God being a part of your marriage
[5:43] Speaker 1: in those movies. So That's why I think that rom
[5:46] Speaker 1: coms the devil had his hand in. That's all flesh.
[5:49] Speaker 1: What is my flesh? Saying? What? Girl? You are so right?
[5:56] Speaker 1: You know. I think people really underestimate how subtle the
[5:59] Speaker 1: devil is and how he's just like he knows like
[6:03] Speaker 1: he knows people. He knows us. He knows what makes
[6:05] Speaker 1: us all, you know, light and airy and bubbly inside,
[6:09] Speaker 1: like he knows our emotions too. He knows what we
[6:12] Speaker 1: fall in love with, he knows what's easy on the eyes,
[6:15] Speaker 1: he knows what appeals to us. And rom coms, Like
[6:17] Speaker 1: I said, I love rom coms, I don't. I think
[6:19] Speaker 1: they're just fairy tales. They're fairy tales. But there's this
[6:23] Speaker 1: one woman on TikTok Cecilia or Reginae or something. I
[6:27] Speaker 1: think people might know her. But she talks about rom
[6:30] Speaker 1: coms a lot, as she exposes them, really, but she
[6:33] Speaker 1: comes at it at a different angle. She talks about
[6:35] Speaker 1: how rom coms are just engineered by men to make
[6:40] Speaker 1: women give up their dreams, because you know how rom
[6:42] Speaker 1: coms are always like a successful single woman. And then
[6:45] Speaker 1: she goes back home for the holidays and the man
[6:48] Speaker 1: that never grew up in left page. Christmas time, they
[6:51] Speaker 1: are always the holiday movies. But yeah, a common theme
[6:55] Speaker 1: you see in rom coms too, is like a woman
[6:57] Speaker 1: having to give up her career or give up what
[6:59] Speaker 1: she's doing because love conquers all and love is all
[7:02] Speaker 1: that matters in her life. And even that is very
[7:04] Speaker 1: dangerous because even if it's not your career, what's your
[7:08] Speaker 1: purpose and what the Lord has for you? Are you
[7:12] Speaker 1: going to abandon your purpose for love? Are you going
[7:14] Speaker 1: to abandon your purpose for what the wrong crim tells
[7:17] Speaker 1: you feeling something? Listen?
[7:19] Speaker 2: I think also Satan really harps on wrom comms as
[7:23] Speaker 2: well with the loneliness, because you could be just be
[7:26] Speaker 2: chilling and all of a sudden you watch a rom
[7:28] Speaker 2: com and now you want to make you were fine.
[7:30] Speaker 1: Before that hour and a half, all of a sudden
[7:32] Speaker 1: you and your cat not good enough.
[7:35] Speaker 2: That is another huge one when it comes to those
[7:37] Speaker 2: romantic movies.
[7:38] Speaker 1: Oh, definitely creating the And here's the thing I think
[7:43] Speaker 1: even is loneliness are real emotion, Yes, it is one
[7:46] Speaker 1: hundred percent is. But to the extent that we think
[7:50] Speaker 1: loneliness actually exists in our life, I think is another
[7:54] Speaker 1: creation from the devil to really make you feel like
[7:58] Speaker 1: because just like we talked about in our Modesty episode,
[8:02] Speaker 1: how would you live your life if you truly believe
[8:04] Speaker 1: that the Lord is with you, like Jesus is actually
[8:07] Speaker 1: with you? Would you actually feel that lonely? Would you
[8:10] Speaker 1: actually need that man in your life? Would you you know,
[8:13] Speaker 1: would you need a lot of things in your life,
[8:14] Speaker 1: but would you absolutely need that romantic love. And I'm
[8:17] Speaker 1: not saying that romantic love is inherently of the devil
[8:20] Speaker 1: or that romantic love is bad. I just think that
[8:23] Speaker 1: to the how hard we chase romantic love to the
[8:27] Speaker 1: degree that we will go after romantic love is detrimental.
[8:31] Speaker 2: It is, it is, And I think that's what he wants. Yeah,
[8:35] Speaker 2: he wants us to chase after Satan, not God. Satan
[8:39] Speaker 2: wants us to chase after love. He wants us to
[8:41] Speaker 2: constantly try to find, find and feel that longing. And
[8:44] Speaker 2: he wants us to believe that God is not enough
[8:47] Speaker 2: to feel the I mean, that's one of his tactics.
[8:50] Speaker 1: So if marriage is not about happiness, it's not about
[8:53] Speaker 1: romantic love, not one hundred percent, it's not about you
[8:58] Speaker 1: being lonely, then what a marriage actually about?
[9:02] Speaker 2: I mean marriage is a covenant and it's I feel
[9:06] Speaker 2: like being just like being single is a calling, being
[9:10] Speaker 2: a wife is also a calling.
[9:12] Speaker 1: It is something to fulfill if the Lord, if that
[9:15] Speaker 1: is in the Lord's path for you, and so if that.
[9:19] Speaker 2: Is something that he is calling you, He's bringing you
[9:21] Speaker 2: a man and God's blessing is on it, and you
[9:24] Speaker 2: feel like peace and this is.
[9:26] Speaker 1: Y'all are supposed to move forward.
[9:28] Speaker 2: I really do feel like marriage is a covenant before God.
[9:31] Speaker 2: But it's not just to be happy and key key
[9:33] Speaker 2: it up for the rest of your life. It's yes,
[9:36] Speaker 2: being joy is a byproduct of the Lord of a
[9:39] Speaker 2: spirit and so yes, there will be joy, but also
[9:42] Speaker 2: there will be trials. But I feel the biggest thing
[9:45] Speaker 2: I heard this one time, my pastor said this, I
[9:47] Speaker 2: will never forget it. He said, the biggest thing is
[9:50] Speaker 2: you and your wife are not going to enter the
[9:51] Speaker 2: pearly gates together. You still have to fulfill your God
[9:55] Speaker 2: mission apart but also together as a unit but a part.
[9:59] Speaker 2: And I I think we forget that, like we still
[10:03] Speaker 2: have a mission to fulfill even when we are in
[10:06] Speaker 2: covenant with someone. And so yeah, I just think that's
[10:09] Speaker 2: what marriage is. I think it's covenant before God. But
[10:11] Speaker 2: I think it's also a mission field based name.
[10:14] Speaker 1: And here's the thing, you guys, And that's why it's
[10:16] Speaker 1: so imperative to just be in the Word and just
[10:18] Speaker 1: really get a comprehensive look at different principles in the
[10:22] Speaker 1: Word right, because I don't and to my knowledge, I
[10:25] Speaker 1: don't think that there's really any scripture that the Lord
[10:28] Speaker 1: really details I created marriage for this. There are things
[10:31] Speaker 1: that he says about marriage, right, and there are examples
[10:34] Speaker 1: that we can take from different marriages in the Bible,
[10:37] Speaker 1: But the Lord in Jesus himself never says the Lord
[10:40] Speaker 1: created marriage for this purpose. You just have to put
[10:43] Speaker 1: the context clue together. You have to piece it together.
[10:46] Speaker 1: And that's why it's so important to just getting the
[10:47] Speaker 1: word and really read it for it and really in
[10:51] Speaker 1: its entirety. What do you feel like marriages? Marriage is
[10:54] Speaker 1: a relationship and we have a lot of different relationships
[10:57] Speaker 1: in our life. So when I think about all the
[10:59] Speaker 1: different types of relationships that the Lord allows us to have,
[11:02] Speaker 1: I think, Okay, well, why is marriage so special? The
[11:05] Speaker 1: Lord calling his people his bride and he's the bridegroom.
[11:10] Speaker 1: What does that relationship look like? And how are we
[11:12] Speaker 1: to approach marriage, and how are we're supposed to approach
[11:15] Speaker 1: our bride and grooms on Earth? And I just really
[11:18] Speaker 1: feel like the Lord has allowed us to enter into
[11:20] Speaker 1: the covenant of marriage the same reason that he allows
[11:23] Speaker 1: us to enter into having a part and creating other
[11:27] Speaker 1: human beings. Like the Lord could just point his finger
[11:30] Speaker 1: insap more people on the earth, but he allows us
[11:33] Speaker 1: to create humans on our own that look like us
[11:36] Speaker 1: and our partner. Why does he do that? He does
[11:38] Speaker 1: that so that we can have a little glimpse, a
[11:40] Speaker 1: little taste of His relationship with us, Because while we're
[11:44] Speaker 1: on Earth, we'll never fully understand why the Lord loves us.
[11:48] Speaker 1: Why when you think about the type of people that
[11:50] Speaker 1: we are and not just be like God, why do
[11:52] Speaker 1: you love humans? Why did you create us? Like why
[11:55] Speaker 1: do you love us? And there's a purpose in that.
[11:57] Speaker 1: And I still fully have not grasped that because I
[12:00] Speaker 1: really just reading through the Bible and just seeing how
[12:02] Speaker 1: people are today, I'll be like, why does God even
[12:05] Speaker 1: want us here? Like for real, for real and no
[12:08] Speaker 1: for real, like I mean saying that it's so real.
[12:11] Speaker 1: And so when I think about how He has or
[12:15] Speaker 1: has given us that part to contribute to making humans.
[12:19] Speaker 1: How he has given us the Covenant of marriage is
[12:22] Speaker 1: to just give us a little bit of a taste
[12:23] Speaker 1: of his love for us, because he wants us. It's
[12:27] Speaker 1: a commandment like go out and love your neighbor, like
[12:29] Speaker 1: you know that you are disciples of the Lord if
[12:33] Speaker 1: you love each other. And I just feel like He
[12:35] Speaker 1: lets us have parts in these covenants to really just
[12:38] Speaker 1: have some kind of understanding of his love for us. Yeah.
[12:40] Speaker 1: I actually had a conversation last night.
[12:42] Speaker 2: I was a little worship thing and me and this
[12:45] Speaker 2: girl guid in this conversation kind of about this, but
[12:47] Speaker 2: how the Bible says that men love your bride as
[12:51] Speaker 2: Christ loves the Church. And we were kind of going
[12:56] Speaker 2: at it as a way of like, have you ever
[12:58] Speaker 2: experienced a love like that, like a man looking at
[13:01] Speaker 2: you with just such love in his gaze, of like,
[13:05] Speaker 2: this is my bride genuinely loving you the way that.
[13:09] Speaker 1: Christ loves the church.
[13:11] Speaker 2: I was like, girl, No, But in the same token,
[13:15] Speaker 2: we're like, I think that's how we're gonna know. This
[13:18] Speaker 2: is the one, Like this is it when a man
[13:21] Speaker 2: looks at you and you see the Father's love through
[13:23] Speaker 2: his eyes. I think that is huge. But back to culture, Yeah,
[13:30] Speaker 2: that's odd, that's not normal, you know, And that's why
[13:35] Speaker 2: we're all sitting here like, yeah, I've never experienced that,
[13:37] Speaker 2: because genuinely, the Lord will have to send a miracle
[13:41] Speaker 2: in a unicorn for that, for a man that loves.
[13:44] Speaker 1: But see, here's the thing.
[13:46] Speaker 2: The man has to love God with all his heart,
[13:49] Speaker 2: soul and mind in order to look at his daughter
[13:51] Speaker 2: and be like, that is my bride, to look at
[13:54] Speaker 2: us with that gaze of love. He has to be
[13:57] Speaker 2: surrendered in all to the to God with this heart,
[14:01] Speaker 2: soul in mind. That's why it's so rare, because how
[14:04] Speaker 2: many men are walking around like genuinely, yes, surrendered, bought
[14:09] Speaker 2: out to Jesus Christ.
[14:10] Speaker 1: Rare, rare and not rare is not even the word
[14:14] Speaker 1: rare doesn't even describe how truly rare it is to
[14:17] Speaker 1: find a true man that's living for the Lord.
[14:21] Speaker 2: I'm not too shout, but no, yes, absolutely, I had
[14:24] Speaker 2: a whole conversation about this last night.
[14:26] Speaker 1: Yeah. And the culture will tell you that the Lord
[14:29] Speaker 1: doesn't have to be in marriages because there are atheists
[14:31] Speaker 1: who get married and they'll be married for fifty years.
[14:34] Speaker 1: But here's the thing, okay, because here's the thing with that.
[14:38] Speaker 1: The Lord doesn't just give you life, He wants to
[14:40] Speaker 1: give you life more abundantly. Right. So yeah, So are
[14:44] Speaker 1: there couples out there that could totally take the Lord
[14:46] Speaker 1: out of their marriage and they'll be married for fifty years? Yes,
[14:49] Speaker 1: but do you know what they went through in that
[14:51] Speaker 1: fifty years?
[14:52] Speaker 2: Right?
[14:52] Speaker 1: Do you know what they probably could have accomplished greater
[14:56] Speaker 1: things if they had went with then the Lord's will
[14:59] Speaker 1: and married person that the Lord had for them? Yes?
[15:02] Speaker 1: And that part like y'all because here's the thing. The
[15:04] Speaker 1: Lord will allow you to do whatever you want, even
[15:07] Speaker 1: as Christians. They're scriptures to support that. If we are
[15:11] Speaker 1: constantly ignoring the Holy Spirit and going after our own flesh,
[15:14] Speaker 1: he will deliver us over to that. They will. He
[15:16] Speaker 1: won't force nobody's hand to love him deliver it over
[15:19] Speaker 1: to that. So it's just like, yeah, you could do
[15:22] Speaker 1: whatever you want in your life, syce, and you will
[15:24] Speaker 1: have life, but when you have it more abundantly. And
[15:27] Speaker 1: that's my thing. If I'm only going to spend seventy
[15:30] Speaker 1: years on earth and I have a job to do,
[15:32] Speaker 1: I want to be in abundance, right, I don't want
[15:34] Speaker 1: to just be in skin. I don't want as much
[15:37] Speaker 1: as as required. No, I want above and beyond that. Girl.
[15:41] Speaker 2: People are so content with never reaching just their full
[15:46] Speaker 2: potential in the Lord, in yourself, the Lord's full potential
[15:51] Speaker 2: for your life. I always pray this, God, don't let
[15:55] Speaker 2: me miss it. I don't want to miss nothing that
[15:58] Speaker 2: Man has for me because I know, Oh, it is
[16:00] Speaker 2: so much better and sweeter than anything Victoria could want
[16:04] Speaker 2: for herself or even envision for herself.
[16:06] Speaker 1: Why would I want to miss out on that?
[16:08] Speaker 2: But see, this goes back to our last episode. People
[16:12] Speaker 2: gotta figure out how they see God. If you don't
[16:15] Speaker 2: see God as good, you're not gonna believe his plans
[16:18] Speaker 2: are good for you. This is why people are so content.
[16:20] Speaker 2: We're trying to do it their way and I will
[16:23] Speaker 2: never understand.
[16:24] Speaker 1: And the Lord even says that in Jemiah, like I
[16:26] Speaker 1: know the plans that I have for you, like the
[16:29] Speaker 1: thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of good, not of evil,
[16:31] Speaker 1: And it's just like to prosper you. And it's just like,
[16:35] Speaker 1: what do you if you don't follow the Lord because
[16:37] Speaker 1: of loneliness and patience whatever it is you feel like
[16:40] Speaker 1: you're getting older, or I want babies and I'm already
[16:43] Speaker 1: about to be forty. If you don't think that the
[16:46] Speaker 1: Lord has what's good for you, you think that you
[16:49] Speaker 1: have better for you, like you think that you have
[16:51] Speaker 1: better plans than what the Lord has for you. That's
[16:54] Speaker 1: my thing crazy because I know I don't, because I've
[16:56] Speaker 1: tried to do it myself. Absolutely, if I could have
[16:58] Speaker 1: been married by now and my own strength, I would
[17:01] Speaker 1: have been, Oh absolutely, I would have been.
[17:03] Speaker 2: My life would be completely different right now if I
[17:05] Speaker 2: actually went Victoria's way, Oh definitely, And I would probably
[17:07] Speaker 2: be miserable or probably divorce by now.
[17:09] Speaker 1: And let's talk about Let's go back to the loneliness
[17:12] Speaker 1: aspects of it as well, because this is something that
[17:15] Speaker 1: you only will hear from married people. It is worse
[17:19] Speaker 1: to be married and lonely than be single and lonely. Yes, girl,
[17:24] Speaker 1: like we said lonely. We're not gonna sit up here
[17:26] Speaker 1: and act like loneliness doesn't exist, because the Lord is
[17:28] Speaker 1: always with you. Loneliness definitely exists. It does. But it
[17:31] Speaker 1: is it not better to be single and still had
[17:33] Speaker 1: that potential and just be like Lord, like you see,
[17:36] Speaker 1: I'm lonely like you can still be praying for your
[17:38] Speaker 1: desires than to just be like, you know what, I'm
[17:41] Speaker 1: lonely iron wait on the Lord, let me go ahead
[17:42] Speaker 1: and marry this man, and then you miserable? Sis? And
[17:45] Speaker 1: can you get divorced? Yeah? But who wants that? Right?
[17:48] Speaker 2: And Rich Werkiston Junior, he preached the whole sermon about
[17:51] Speaker 2: or series about dating and singleness whatever, and he said
[17:54] Speaker 2: something similar.
[17:55] Speaker 1: He said, better for you to be lonely.
[17:58] Speaker 2: Like alone in your bed and feeling alone in a
[18:01] Speaker 2: king sized bed with your partner like you are lonely
[18:05] Speaker 2: with someone next to you.
[18:06] Speaker 1: I would rather be lonely and single than married and miserable.
[18:09] Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like the thought of that makes my stomach turn.
[18:13] Speaker 2: Thank you, Lord, God, you have turned all these men
[18:15] Speaker 2: away from me, because I would be we'd be sleeping
[18:19] Speaker 2: together every night, and I would still feel lonely with
[18:21] Speaker 2: this man right next to me.
[18:22] Speaker 1: That's so true. So and that just is a testament
[18:25] Speaker 1: like if married people are telling you that, if married
[18:28] Speaker 1: people are telling you that, that's and but here's the thing,
[18:32] Speaker 1: and this is something that is just like a lesson
[18:34] Speaker 1: that people just have to learn for themselves. I think
[18:38] Speaker 1: true wisdom comes from the Lord. Yeah, Bible tells us that.
[18:42] Speaker 1: But here's what true wisdom is. And this is what
[18:44] Speaker 1: the Lord tells us about what true wisdom is. The
[18:46] Speaker 1: true wisdom is about learning from others. True wisdom is
[18:49] Speaker 1: about allowing the Holy Spirit to teach you before you
[18:52] Speaker 1: have to teach yourself. Because I would rather learn from
[18:55] Speaker 1: the mistakes of people before me and the mistakes of
[18:57] Speaker 1: people around me, than have to learn it from myself,
[18:59] Speaker 1: because at that point that's not wisdom, that's just lived experience.
[19:02] Speaker 2: This is why getting discipled is so important. This is
[19:05] Speaker 2: why mentors are so important. This is why spiritual mothers
[19:08] Speaker 2: are so important, because those are women that God has
[19:10] Speaker 2: set before you to pour into you. You can learn
[19:13] Speaker 2: from their mistakes, you can learn from words that God
[19:15] Speaker 2: has spoken to these older women who are wiser and
[19:18] Speaker 2: who I've been through it. We have got to get
[19:21] Speaker 2: back to discipleship. I don't know why we as a
[19:24] Speaker 2: church are steering away that is so important.
[19:29] Speaker 1: It really is. It really is to help us. You know.
[19:34] Speaker 1: I don't think that discipleship is truly that presence. Like
[19:38] Speaker 1: you said, it's not really that presence. Girl.
[19:40] Speaker 2: I'd have been through it, been through it all especially
[19:42] Speaker 2: churches in Atlanta, the big churches the small church. Now
[19:45] Speaker 2: I'm in a small church and praise the Lord, I'm
[19:47] Speaker 2: getting disciple. But I was in a big church forever
[19:49] Speaker 2: and literally did not get disciples. That was one of
[19:51] Speaker 2: the reasons why I stepped away. And I'm like, why
[19:54] Speaker 2: is it such a foreign thing not to be discipled
[19:58] Speaker 2: in a church. I literally had a conversation at my
[20:01] Speaker 2: last church with a woman in leadership and I told
[20:03] Speaker 2: her like, Hey, I'm stepping away.
[20:05] Speaker 1: From the serving team and this church as a whole.
[20:07] Speaker 1: This is why.
[20:08] Speaker 2: And she literally said to me on that phone call, Victoria,
[20:10] Speaker 2: that is a weakness of our church discipling.
[20:15] Speaker 1: Literally that shit, that's how you raise up the next,
[20:19] Speaker 1: the next leaders. That's a major pillar of the church. Discipleship. Yes,
[20:24] Speaker 1: and the fact that that church discipleship and why are
[20:28] Speaker 1: we not disciples? There should be a system, like a
[20:30] Speaker 1: comprehensive step by step step system in your church to
[20:34] Speaker 1: disciple the younger members. And that's that's crazy lacking. It's
[20:37] Speaker 1: crazy case. I could say that I have a discipleship
[20:40] Speaker 1: group in my church, but hard store, hardcore sorry, lifestyle discipleship.
[20:45] Speaker 1: I don't have that. And sometimes I feel like I'm
[20:48] Speaker 1: kind of just like floating out here by myself, my mom,
[20:52] Speaker 1: I could say, disciples me. But even in that, like
[20:55] Speaker 1: we're still growing together, you know, I don't. I don't
[20:58] Speaker 1: have that within my church.
[20:59] Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's lacking and severely and I know it
[21:03] Speaker 2: breaks the Lord's heart.
[21:04] Speaker 1: Yes, yes, because I think that the problem with dating
[21:09] Speaker 1: in relationships specifically within the church wouldn't be a problem
[21:12] Speaker 1: if we.
[21:12] Speaker 2: Had that, And we would have better men if we
[21:16] Speaker 2: had men going before them discipling them, teaching them how
[21:20] Speaker 2: to be man of God. How are they going to
[21:23] Speaker 2: be men of God if there was literally no one
[21:25] Speaker 2: to help them.
[21:26] Speaker 1: Like, you gave your life to Christ, Praise God, Praise Jesus.
[21:30] Speaker 1: Your eternity is in heaven.
[21:32] Speaker 2: Now, but there's so much that is the beginning of
[21:36] Speaker 2: your journey. You need a man to teach you. Okay,
[21:40] Speaker 2: what do we do next? Hey, you can call your
[21:42] Speaker 2: discipler a mentor of Hey, I'm interested in this girl,
[21:46] Speaker 2: How do I go about this? You don't even know
[21:49] Speaker 2: how to operate because there's no man going before you.
[21:51] Speaker 1: To tell you how to act exactly. And when we
[21:53] Speaker 1: see women in the church holding leadership positions, that they
[21:57] Speaker 1: shouldn't necessarily have, like a woman being the head preacher
[22:02] Speaker 1: of a church and preaching over men, and we know
[22:04] Speaker 1: that that's not a woman's role to do that. I
[22:07] Speaker 1: don't look at it as if the woman pushed her
[22:10] Speaker 1: way up there. I look at it as the men
[22:12] Speaker 1: abandoned their role and allowed this to happen, because you
[22:16] Speaker 1: can't step into a role that's being fulfilled. They are
[22:19] Speaker 1: the ones that step down. And then women, you know
[22:21] Speaker 1: that's saying like move, I'm gonna do it, that's what.
[22:23] Speaker 1: And so you know, we put the conversation on what
[22:27] Speaker 1: women shouldn't be doing well men, why, like we said,
[22:30] Speaker 1: it goes back to discipleship. Why are there not men
[22:33] Speaker 1: in the church raising up the next pastor why did
[22:37] Speaker 1: a woman had to step into that place? Girl? That
[22:39] Speaker 1: is so real. It's just a very systemic issue, it is.
[22:43] Speaker 1: And if we have better discipleship in churches, a lot
[22:46] Speaker 1: of this marriage and how because even within the church,
[22:49] Speaker 1: I see things that I'm just like, how is this okay?
[22:52] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[22:53] Speaker 1: And then I don't feel comfortable saying anything to these people.
[22:55] Speaker 1: But it's just like as a church, y'all should be
[22:58] Speaker 1: stepping in like as a church when you know that
[23:01] Speaker 1: they're single because they're not married and single before marriage,
[23:05] Speaker 1: ain't no boyfriend girlfriend. If you know that there is
[23:08] Speaker 1: a couple in your church that's living together, why are
[23:11] Speaker 1: you not stepping in right when you see that there's
[23:15] Speaker 1: a couple in your church that just went on vacation together.
[23:18] Speaker 1: Why are you not stepping in when that's a systemic temptation,
[23:22] Speaker 1: like the devil is getting a foothold in on your
[23:25] Speaker 1: church because people are not dating and vetting and courting properly.
[23:29] Speaker 1: Why is that not something that is an issue within
[23:32] Speaker 1: the church being addressed.
[23:33] Speaker 2: I've got friends, Jesus loving friends who have went on
[23:37] Speaker 2: vacation with their significant others before marriage. I cannot tell you,
[23:40] Speaker 2: and they always call me as soon as they get back.
[23:42] Speaker 1: Victoria, I stumbled. That's like saying, oh, yeah, I put
[23:52] Speaker 1: my foot in the pool and not my foot is well, yeah, yeah,
[23:56] Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it is. I'm pretty sure it is.
[23:58] Speaker 2: This Like I just don't understand, Like I don't understand,
[24:02] Speaker 2: and I don't want to be hard. If you somebody
[24:04] Speaker 2: at vacation, you know, let the Lord get vict you.
[24:06] Speaker 2: But I just we're just doing.
[24:09] Speaker 1: It all wrong.
[24:10] Speaker 2: And there have been couples that I have witnessed that
[24:14] Speaker 2: have done it. I wouldn't say quote unquote right, but
[24:17] Speaker 2: just seek Lord, the Lord every step of the way.
[24:21] Speaker 2: Dated with intention, I will I always use actually go
[24:24] Speaker 2: into her baby shower in a few weeks. But this
[24:25] Speaker 2: is a girl I walked through with singleness, dating, engaged,
[24:29] Speaker 2: and married. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding, was
[24:31] Speaker 2: friends or her roommate before when she was single before
[24:33] Speaker 2: the boy asked her out on the first day. And
[24:36] Speaker 2: I always use this couple as an example because this
[24:38] Speaker 2: is the only couple that I have witnessed that is
[24:40] Speaker 2: doing it correct or did it correct. But they just
[24:44] Speaker 2: seek God every step of the way. And he was
[24:47] Speaker 2: getting discipled and they were seeking God, they were seeking
[24:52] Speaker 2: their mentors.
[24:53] Speaker 1: And he prayed before asking her out.
[24:55] Speaker 2: They were dating, he prayed, asked the Lord if he
[24:58] Speaker 2: could propose to her, and this is his wife.
[25:00] Speaker 1: He prayed, him fasted. He just literally seek God every
[25:04] Speaker 1: step everything, and the Lord is blessing their life.
[25:07] Speaker 2: And I truly feel like it's because of that they
[25:10] Speaker 2: are reaping the hardest of how they approach this dating
[25:14] Speaker 2: like coming together as a union by keeping God in
[25:16] Speaker 2: the sinner, definitely.
[25:18] Speaker 1: I've seen it with their own eyes, and I've seen
[25:20] Speaker 1: it too. I've seen how there are some couples that
[25:22] Speaker 1: come into their marriage and they did it the wrong way,
[25:26] Speaker 1: and then it ends. It ends because here's the thing.
[25:30] Speaker 1: The Lord will not bless your sin. He just he
[25:35] Speaker 1: will forgive your sin. He will restore you, he'll convict
[25:38] Speaker 1: you while you're doing it, but he will not bless it.
[25:42] Speaker 1: So if there's something that you have come upon in
[25:44] Speaker 1: your life that you think is a good thing, but
[25:46] Speaker 1: you know you were outside the will of God when
[25:48] Speaker 1: you were doing it, don't think the Lord's gonna bless it.
[25:51] Speaker 1: Because I've had couples on my podcast that you can
[25:54] Speaker 1: just tell they did it the right way and they
[25:56] Speaker 1: did it for a reason, and the Lord blessed it,
[25:57] Speaker 1: and you can just see it in their marriage. And
[25:59] Speaker 1: then I have other couples on and it was very
[26:02] Speaker 1: clear that they didn't like it. Was just like no judgment,
[26:06] Speaker 1: but it was just plaining as day to see that
[26:07] Speaker 1: they did not do it the right way, and then
[26:09] Speaker 1: to see how things end up, it's like, you know,
[26:14] Speaker 1: like you have to go about things God's way to
[26:17] Speaker 1: get that blessing on things.
[26:18] Speaker 2: Absolutely witness people too as well, getting married who.
[26:21] Speaker 1: Were outside of God's will.
[26:22] Speaker 2: Girl, so much anxiety, such a lack of peace, but
[26:28] Speaker 2: doing it anyways. And it's just like y'all, y'all want
[26:32] Speaker 2: to get married that bad. Y'all want to get married
[26:35] Speaker 2: that bad, that y'all will want to step outside of
[26:37] Speaker 2: the will of God.
[26:38] Speaker 1: I cannot relate the one who created marriage, the one
[26:41] Speaker 1: who created marriage. Bro.
[26:44] Speaker 2: I'm about to literally scream, like I'm about to shout,
[26:46] Speaker 2: because I have genuinely never never felt more passionate about
[26:51] Speaker 2: something in my life. Yeah, people really out here trying
[26:53] Speaker 2: to do it without the creator of marriage.
[26:55] Speaker 1: It's out of desperation. And like I said, it's just
[26:58] Speaker 1: like the beginning of the episode when I was saying
[27:01] Speaker 1: that people look at marriage as something to be accomplished,
[27:06] Speaker 1: something like a goal that everyone should have. And if
[27:10] Speaker 1: that's your mindset with marriage, I don't think that you
[27:13] Speaker 1: will ever be within the Lord's will. If marriage is
[27:17] Speaker 1: the accomplishment, then what are you doing with that marriage? Right?
[27:20] Speaker 1: I think it's what you accomplished within your marriage. You
[27:24] Speaker 1: come together and then you look at okay, what are
[27:26] Speaker 1: we doing together? How is this furthering the kingdom because
[27:29] Speaker 1: that's our job and everything that we do. So how
[27:32] Speaker 1: is your marriage furthering that kingdom? Right? Yeah, that's what
[27:35] Speaker 1: should be your main objectively, and that's totally missing. And
[27:39] Speaker 1: I think even within even within marriages sometimes in the church,
[27:43] Speaker 1: I think being a Christian doesn't make the desperation go away.
[27:48] Speaker 2: This is why I look up to the Paris so much.
[27:51] Speaker 2: I look up to rich Wickerson Junior and his wife
[27:55] Speaker 2: Doncherie so much.
[27:56] Speaker 1: I just really.
[27:57] Speaker 2: Loved the couples who you can tell that they love
[28:01] Speaker 2: each other, but maybe.
[28:02] Speaker 1: They are on mission.
[28:04] Speaker 2: They're not just twiddling their thumbs like, well, here's my husband,
[28:08] Speaker 2: all right, They're like, no, this is the covenant that
[28:11] Speaker 2: the Lord has made. Now let's glorify him in it
[28:16] Speaker 2: and their whole lives, their whole ministries.
[28:18] Speaker 1: Like I just I love seeing couples on mission. That
[28:22] Speaker 1: is just something.
[28:24] Speaker 2: It just touches me, It really really does, and I
[28:27] Speaker 2: think that is a lost art truly.
[28:29] Speaker 1: Do you think that one could have a godly marriage
[28:32] Speaker 1: and not want to have children. I think that.
[28:37] Speaker 2: That is the Lord. Like, I think if it tells
[28:41] Speaker 2: you to have children, you need to do it.
[28:43] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[28:43] Speaker 2: I feel like if you might not necessarily have that
[28:47] Speaker 2: desire and you don't feel a conviction to do it,
[28:49] Speaker 2: you might not have to.
[28:52] Speaker 1: But I think that's very circumstantial. I think it's very situational. Yeah,
[28:59] Speaker 1: because some people will say, well, that's why the Lord
[29:02] Speaker 1: brings people together, even though we know that's not true,
[29:04] Speaker 1: that not necessarily true. There's a lot of women who
[29:06] Speaker 1: are buried. They can't exactly so exactly, so what's what's
[29:09] Speaker 1: the what's up with them? Like they're just not within
[29:10] Speaker 1: the God.
[29:11] Speaker 2: There's still so much more purpose. I mean, look at
[29:13] Speaker 2: Louis Giglio and Shelley Giglio. They cannot have children, they've
[29:17] Speaker 2: never had children, like seventy or something now, but they
[29:20] Speaker 2: do so much for the kingdom and they've never had
[29:22] Speaker 2: a kid.
[29:23] Speaker 1: Yeah, because yeah, that's just a question. I get a
[29:25] Speaker 1: lot because my audience knows how I feel about children.
[29:28] Speaker 1: I'm not really keen on having them. And a lot
[29:31] Speaker 1: of people will say to me, and they're in the
[29:33] Speaker 1: comments all the time, and I've told them, I've told
[29:35] Speaker 1: y'all about this already. But they'll be like, well, now
[29:38] Speaker 1: that you're you have a relationship with God, has your
[29:41] Speaker 1: stance on having children chain First of all, stop asking
[29:43] Speaker 1: an unmarried woman about kids. First of all, that's extremely rude.
[29:47] Speaker 1: You shouldn't be asking women about kids period because you
[29:49] Speaker 1: don't even know if she can have kids, but especially
[29:52] Speaker 1: an unmarried like I'm not even married, sis, why would
[29:55] Speaker 1: I be thinking about kids? Girl? Listen and you kids
[29:59] Speaker 1: be annoying? Oh that'd be my thing, girl, I am.
[30:04] Speaker 2: I never said I never wanted kids like in my life,
[30:07] Speaker 2: but I definitely feel very indifferent about it, Like I
[30:11] Speaker 2: would be okay if I didn't have children, but also
[30:15] Speaker 2: I'm willing, like if my husband comes along and that's
[30:17] Speaker 2: something that he's always sreamed of of being a father,
[30:19] Speaker 2: I'll have them for him, Like I'm not opposed to
[30:23] Speaker 2: having them versus not having them.
[30:25] Speaker 1: Does that excite me? They are very annoying. I was
[30:29] Speaker 1: a nanny, you're two years years back.
[30:32] Speaker 2: Girl, I'm kids so annoying and so again, shout out
[30:35] Speaker 2: to all the mothers out there.
[30:36] Speaker 1: It takes a special woman. And that's how I know
[30:39] Speaker 1: it's truly a calling. It is a called mom.
[30:44] Speaker 2: I one hundred percent believe that. I think the Lord
[30:47] Speaker 2: will tell you if it's in his will for your life.
[30:49] Speaker 2: But I also feel like, there are probably some circumstances
[30:52] Speaker 2: where he gives you free will. But that's one thing
[30:55] Speaker 2: Preston Perry said on some episode of the Paris You
[30:58] Speaker 2: know they got a million, but well, I was.
[31:00] Speaker 1: Gonna say they had a lot of kids too. They
[31:04] Speaker 1: truly said.
[31:05] Speaker 2: I might be misquoting this, so don't take my word
[31:07] Speaker 2: for just go found an episode. But he said he
[31:09] Speaker 2: was literally on his way to get a visected me
[31:12] Speaker 2: and the Lord told him to turn around. And then
[31:14] Speaker 2: Jackie said, I think that night she had a dream
[31:17] Speaker 2: about their last kid. And then Preston did not get
[31:21] Speaker 2: that visected me. Jackie had that dream they had their
[31:24] Speaker 2: fourth and last kid, or maybe fifth.
[31:25] Speaker 1: I don't know. They got a lot of kids they.
[31:27] Speaker 2: Got, but I mean that was a circumstance that the
[31:30] Speaker 2: Lord literally told them, like, no, but y'all got one more.
[31:33] Speaker 2: And you never know what the Lord is gonna bring
[31:35] Speaker 2: that kid up to do.
[31:36] Speaker 1: You never know. You just never know. You never know.
[31:38] Speaker 2: And so that's why I'm very open indifferent, like if
[31:41] Speaker 2: the Lord says do it, I will, Like we said,
[31:43] Speaker 2: being in his will and his wisdom is the safest
[31:45] Speaker 2: place to be.
[31:46] Speaker 1: But that is something that he tells me to do.
[31:48] Speaker 1: I will one hundred percent have a kid. But the
[31:50] Speaker 1: culture will tell you that marriage is not necessarily a
[31:53] Speaker 1: prerequisite for children. And you see it's it's it's huge
[31:57] Speaker 1: in our culture. It's huge in our culture right now to.
[32:00] Speaker 2: Where we're doing everything backwards, yeah, to where women.
[32:05] Speaker 1: Are agreeing to have the children before they ever get married.
[32:09] Speaker 1: And it's become so prevalent that it's really a topic
[32:13] Speaker 1: on conversation or a topic on social media that that
[32:16] Speaker 1: you could talk about from every which way angle. And
[32:19] Speaker 1: I've done it too, to where you see just more
[32:22] Speaker 1: and more of even our celebrity women, the women with money,
[32:26] Speaker 1: the women with options, y'all pregnant now all having kids.
[32:30] Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's crazy. If I was rich and
[32:36] Speaker 1: I had my pick of men and I still choose
[32:40] Speaker 1: to just be a baby mother, That's just insane to me.
[32:44] Speaker 1: That's insane, No.
[32:46] Speaker 2: Baby mama drama. I what, like, what what are we
[32:50] Speaker 2: even doing? What are we doing?
[32:52] Speaker 1: Like? And it does not make supposed to make the
[32:54] Speaker 1: argument that you know how they say poor people shouldn't
[32:57] Speaker 1: have children because you don't got no money for them
[32:59] Speaker 1: and stuff like that. You could all must argue that
[33:00] Speaker 1: poor people have more children because you know, statistics tell
[33:04] Speaker 1: us that they're less educated and make a little less money.
[33:07] Speaker 1: You probably have less resources to things, even though birth
[33:10] Speaker 1: control and condomner they're free and they're free, but stuff
[33:15] Speaker 1: like that, Like you could almost almost make the argument
[33:18] Speaker 1: that you could kind of see why poor people have
[33:20] Speaker 1: more children. So when it's the rich women with options
[33:24] Speaker 1: and opportunity doing it, I'm just like the devil. Don't
[33:28] Speaker 1: got a hole of us child especially in the Black community.
[33:32] Speaker 1: Of course, every race of people have teen moms and
[33:35] Speaker 1: of course, but you can't lie and say you don't
[33:38] Speaker 1: see it more prevalently in the Black community. That's why
[33:41] Speaker 1: more children that are black will be without their fathers
[33:43] Speaker 1: than with their fathers because their parents were never married
[33:46] Speaker 1: to begin with. They didn't even give them a shot, right.
[33:49] Speaker 2: I think, just taking it back to Scripture, it's just
[33:52] Speaker 2: not it's the backwards way.
[33:54] Speaker 1: It's not his design for us.
[33:56] Speaker 2: It's not his design, and I think it's just so
[33:59] Speaker 2: sad that we have gotten to this place of being
[34:02] Speaker 2: so okay, being outside of his design.
[34:05] Speaker 1: Yeah, like we are God and we know better. And
[34:07] Speaker 1: then people will bring up Scripture and they'll talk about
[34:11] Speaker 1: this they'll say, well, Abraham had a child outside of wedlock.
[34:16] Speaker 1: You know when Sarah was before she got pregnant, she
[34:20] Speaker 1: was like, oh the malid, Yeah, what was hill Hagar? Hagar? Yeah?
[34:26] Speaker 1: How she had Ishmael uh huh. But I just and
[34:31] Speaker 1: it's just so like read the Bible, y'all, because that
[34:35] Speaker 1: was not a good situation. It ain't did you did
[34:37] Speaker 1: y'all not see how miserable Sarah was? Not only that,
[34:41] Speaker 1: but didn't Ishmael go on to create the Muslim religion
[34:45] Speaker 1: and that and the people that are going against the Jewish.
[34:49] Speaker 1: So it's just like, so y'all could be like, well,
[34:52] Speaker 1: the Bible talks about Abraham having children side of wedlock,
[34:55] Speaker 1: what happens? Look what happened? Y'all read the beginning. Y'all
[34:59] Speaker 1: never read the y'all. Y'all never read the end. And
[35:04] Speaker 1: then people even like when they talk about the case
[35:06] Speaker 1: for like Solomon having all the wives, Look what happened
[35:08] Speaker 1: is Solomon at the end? Y'all got to read the end.
[35:11] Speaker 1: Y'all got to read the end. And am I saying
[35:15] Speaker 1: it right? Ishmael?
[35:16] Speaker 2: Yeah, it's this man like it's still to this day,
[35:21] Speaker 2: I'm not getting this completely correct, so fact check me
[35:24] Speaker 2: one hundred percent. But he is he created like the
[35:28] Speaker 2: divide that is still the divide you, and that came.
[35:33] Speaker 1: From being outside of God's way. By then, the Lord
[35:37] Speaker 1: had already told them that they were going to have
[35:39] Speaker 1: a kid, right, but it was taking some time, and
[35:41] Speaker 1: they didn't want to wait on the Lord. Sarah was like,
[35:46] Speaker 1: if we're gonna have a son, I'm old. I don't
[35:48] Speaker 1: believe that what God told me about having a son
[35:51] Speaker 1: in my old age, and so go ahead of sleep
[35:52] Speaker 1: with Hagar, have this son. And you see the division
[35:54] Speaker 1: to this to this day, very day.
[35:57] Speaker 2: Sarah was the one that laugh in God's face. Was
[35:59] Speaker 2: wasn't it when God told her?
[36:01] Speaker 1: And she laughed, Bro, I can And then she's trying
[36:05] Speaker 1: to lie about laughing and he was like, no, laugh
[36:10] Speaker 1: in his face, And girl, I don't make no sense,
[36:14] Speaker 1: Like you know what you're talking to right? But nah, girl, listen.
[36:19] Speaker 2: I will never understand why we think it is okay
[36:22] Speaker 2: as a society and I think as women, well, Nah.
[36:25] Speaker 1: What's wut man too? It's a two way streak.
[36:28] Speaker 2: I don't know why we think that it's okay that
[36:30] Speaker 2: to do that in dating, like to the goal is
[36:34] Speaker 2: to have a child.
[36:35] Speaker 1: Like you're trying to concede in dating. That does not
[36:39] Speaker 1: make any.
[36:40] Speaker 2: Even if I did not know the Lord, that still
[36:43] Speaker 2: don't make sense to me.
[36:45] Speaker 1: Take God. You can't take God out of anything, but
[36:47] Speaker 1: quote unquote, take God out of it. How is it
[36:49] Speaker 1: logical says for you to be a mom before your wife?
[36:52] Speaker 1: How is it benefited? How is that beneficial? Name one?
[36:55] Speaker 1: If you can name one benefit, I'll cash app you
[36:58] Speaker 1: right now, cash app girl. The name one benefits for you,
[37:02] Speaker 1: not only for you, but for the child, because I
[37:06] Speaker 1: think a lot of people think that they just want
[37:08] Speaker 1: the kid for them. Once you have a kid, it
[37:11] Speaker 1: is once you get pregnant, it's no longer about you.
[37:13] Speaker 1: And once you get pregnant and you're gonna have that child,
[37:16] Speaker 1: it is no longer about you. Take you out of
[37:18] Speaker 1: the equation, syst subtract you. It is all about that kid.
[37:21] Speaker 1: And a lot of people have children for selfish reasons
[37:24] Speaker 1: and that's why they don't think that marriage is required.
[37:27] Speaker 2: Yeah, for children, But y'all please just go seek the
[37:30] Speaker 2: Bible for yourself on what God says about dating and
[37:35] Speaker 2: marriage and children. And again, like I just agree with you,
[37:42] Speaker 2: so incredibly much. When you say God is not going
[37:45] Speaker 2: to blessing, he just ain't gonna do it. He might
[37:48] Speaker 2: redeem it and restore it, like you say, but he's
[37:51] Speaker 2: not gonna bless it.
[37:52] Speaker 1: He's not gonna bust what you did by your own hands.
[37:54] Speaker 2: If there is any way you can avoid that, please,
[37:59] Speaker 2: by all means avoid it.
[38:02] Speaker 1: Do it God's way.
[38:03] Speaker 2: There is literally nothing that you can do that would
[38:07] Speaker 2: be better than His way. Why do y'all think that
[38:09] Speaker 2: God just put this stuff in the Bible because just
[38:12] Speaker 2: to do it, or to take our fun away, or
[38:13] Speaker 2: that ignorant stuff, y'all, none of that is true.
[38:17] Speaker 1: That is what Satan wants you to believe. But it's
[38:20] Speaker 1: just not. It cannot be further from the truth. And
[38:23] Speaker 1: when I think about even my life pre marriage, because
[38:27] Speaker 1: I do desire marriage, but I'm not rushing it because
[38:32] Speaker 1: you already know how many years I spent outside the church,
[38:35] Speaker 1: and the Lord is redeeming my time right now. When
[38:38] Speaker 1: women are single, it's good for you to remain single
[38:40] Speaker 1: because as soon as you get married, you have to
[38:42] Speaker 1: consider your husband. Now you can't be one hundred percent
[38:45] Speaker 1: for the Lord. You have to consider your husband, your
[38:47] Speaker 1: children because you are servants to them, just like your
[38:49] Speaker 1: husband is accountable to you and you accountable to him.
[38:53] Speaker 1: Now you have to think about ways to please your husband,
[38:56] Speaker 1: and husbands are saying like you gotta think about ways
[38:57] Speaker 1: to please your wife now. You can't totally to vote
[39:00] Speaker 1: your life to the Lord. Just like he said in Jeremiah,
[39:02] Speaker 1: before he forms you in your mother's room, he knew you.
[39:04] Speaker 1: He had a plan for Jamia to be a prophet.
[39:07] Speaker 1: He has a plan for all of us who are
[39:08] Speaker 1: called to salvation, right and just imagine you being outside
[39:12] Speaker 1: of his will because you're impatient or you're lonely, and
[39:14] Speaker 1: he probably had you in a whole nother country in
[39:17] Speaker 1: five years. But no, you want to stay in Atlanta
[39:19] Speaker 1: and get married right, and you get married like it
[39:23] Speaker 1: is what it is. But I just think about the
[39:26] Speaker 1: heights that the Lord can take me right now while
[39:29] Speaker 1: I'm single. Sometimes I almost fear getting married a little
[39:32] Speaker 1: too soon and having to consider everybody else around me
[39:36] Speaker 1: before I really feel like the Lord has finished my
[39:39] Speaker 1: single season. I want to be one hundred percent confident
[39:43] Speaker 1: that I have reached heights for him and advancing whatever
[39:46] Speaker 1: he wants me to do. Before I settled down, because
[39:50] Speaker 1: marriage really is a settle down. You can't do everything
[39:52] Speaker 1: that you was norm when it is.
[39:53] Speaker 2: And one of the things I pray a lot for
[39:55] Speaker 2: my husband is that that man would help further my mission,
[39:59] Speaker 2: my calling, my purpose. Please do not hold me back
[40:02] Speaker 2: in any way, because I genuinely, at this point in
[40:04] Speaker 2: my life, don't I think there is such a fear
[40:07] Speaker 2: in the Lord in me.
[40:09] Speaker 1: I don't.
[40:09] Speaker 2: I'm literally scared of a man to come and dwindle
[40:14] Speaker 2: the calling that the Lord has for me, or take
[40:16] Speaker 2: it distract me.
[40:17] Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I don't have time for that.
[40:20] Speaker 1: And I would also say that that's just a good
[40:22] Speaker 1: tell tale sign that that man is not for you.
[40:26] Speaker 1: So if he's distracting you in any way from the
[40:28] Speaker 1: Lord's ultimate purpose, that ain't your man.
[40:30] Speaker 2: It's not pray against that spirit or desperation, y'all. Satan
[40:34] Speaker 2: wants us to get to that point. He wants us
[40:36] Speaker 2: to be desperate. That is where he can really wiggle
[40:40] Speaker 2: in and really get a foothold.
[40:42] Speaker 1: Pray against that.
[40:44] Speaker 2: I am someone who I feels so strongly about calling
[40:47] Speaker 2: out the schemes of the enemy.
[40:49] Speaker 1: That is a scheme. Do not let Satan.
[40:51] Speaker 2: Win and get a foothold in that desperation till you
[40:54] Speaker 2: settle in for home or over here. Who might be
[40:57] Speaker 2: distracting you or doing literally anything that is not God's
[41:00] Speaker 2: purpose for your life.
[41:01] Speaker 1: Definitely I can't. Just like the word says, be angry
[41:04] Speaker 1: and do not sin. Anger is not a sin. It's
[41:07] Speaker 1: what you do with that anger. You can be lonely
[41:10] Speaker 1: and not given to desperation, because desperation is the sin.
[41:13] Speaker 1: Be desperate for nothing, be anxious for nothing, So you
[41:17] Speaker 1: can be lonely. Like we said, that's not a sin,
[41:19] Speaker 1: that there's nothing wrong. That's a real human emotion. But
[41:21] Speaker 1: don't let that loneliness lead you into that desperation, because
[41:25] Speaker 1: that's when you fall into sin. Whatever you are desperate
[41:27] Speaker 1: for you will all tumatically be outside of God's will
[41:31] Speaker 1: because like I said, he calls us to be anxious
[41:33] Speaker 1: for nothing. And if you find yourself getting desperate, you'll
[41:36] Speaker 1: do anything. Because like we said, that man could really
[41:38] Speaker 1: check off a lot of your personal boxes. You might
[41:41] Speaker 1: even believe him to truly be a man of God.
[41:44] Speaker 1: But one thing that I'm really big on is every
[41:47] Speaker 1: good man don't mean that's the man for you. Absolutely
[41:50] Speaker 1: that could be somebody else's husband, says girl, he has
[41:54] Speaker 1: the husband for you that could be somebody else's husband,
[41:56] Speaker 1: and y'all are just not aligned. And here's the thing.
[41:59] Speaker 1: The Lord will always make it. He'll make it appearent
[42:01] Speaker 1: like he'll bring it to your attention that that's not
[42:03] Speaker 1: the man for you and you have the choice to
[42:05] Speaker 1: ignore it. He's done it to me so many times.
[42:07] Speaker 1: But let me tell you something.
[42:08] Speaker 2: I listen, this is why I'm happily signed to this
[42:11] Speaker 2: day because you will never catch me and.
[42:14] Speaker 1: A relationship with the man that the Lord. I don't
[42:16] Speaker 1: feel peace, we not. Something is just off. No, I
[42:21] Speaker 1: just cannot. And that's how I know the Lord is
[42:23] Speaker 1: going to tell me when it is the man exactly
[42:25] Speaker 1: because he told you when when it wasn't numerous of times.
[42:29] Speaker 1: So yeah, that is the God that we serve. Amen.
[42:32] Speaker 1: The culture will you know, they'll put rom coms in
[42:35] Speaker 1: your face. The culture will tell you by twenty nine
[42:38] Speaker 1: that's the cutoff for marriage. You need to be married
[42:40] Speaker 1: before thirty. They'll tell you what's another a straight up
[42:44] Speaker 1: live They'll tell you that, like you said, marriage is
[42:47] Speaker 1: just a piece of paper, and I'll just be like, girl,
[42:50] Speaker 1: makes sense? Like, so is money technically chasing, so is
[42:54] Speaker 1: the title to your car, But you're still paying off
[42:58] Speaker 1: that car note every month, right, So let's make it
[43:01] Speaker 1: make sense. Y'all need to stop listening to the culture. Bro,
[43:04] Speaker 1: Let's make it make sense, not even the long term things.
[43:06] Speaker 1: But I'll just be like, let's put our thinking caps on.
[43:09] Speaker 1: Critical thinking has been missing from schools. I mean, teachers
[43:13] Speaker 1: are telling us that the kids don't even know how
[43:14] Speaker 1: to read no more. They tell us that all the time.
[43:16] Speaker 1: So I know, y'all ain't teaching critical thinking no more.
[43:18] Speaker 1: I remember in my New York City exams, like in
[43:21] Speaker 1: middle school, critical thinking was a huge part of that exam.
[43:24] Speaker 1: You used to have to read up passage and think
[43:26] Speaker 1: about not just what the passage is telling you, but
[43:29] Speaker 1: what the author is trying to convey. When they said this,
[43:31] Speaker 1: what are they really saying? Set in school? No more?
[43:34] Speaker 2: No? You know they say that the kids don't even
[43:36] Speaker 2: know how to hold the pencil no more.
[43:37] Speaker 1: They don't even know what shapes are. That's what I heard.
[43:41] Speaker 2: Yeah, I got teacher friends, they don't even have the
[43:43] Speaker 2: motor skills to hold pencil pains and pencils and markers.
[43:48] Speaker 1: I pass it from the six months old. Yes, and
[43:50] Speaker 1: Google Chrome books crazy. This is why we have no
[43:54] Speaker 1: thinking cap. They don't sell thinking caps no more. Oh God,
[44:00] Speaker 1: scary girl, this is our future. I'm scared. Lord, we
[44:04] Speaker 1: need you for real. You come back, come back, I
[44:07] Speaker 1: r I'll come back for them. Kids become the leaders.
[44:10] Speaker 1: I don't want them to be my doctor, come back
[44:15] Speaker 1: for I don't want them to hear of me.
[44:17] Speaker 2: I don't want them to taking care of me, my dennist,
[44:19] Speaker 2: my surgeon for me. And then how they're gonna be
[44:22] Speaker 2: heart surgeons when they don't even have the motor skills
[44:25] Speaker 2: to perform the tools in the surgeon table.
[44:27] Speaker 1: Girl, they don't even want to work in the grocery
[44:29] Speaker 1: stores and say hi to people. I don't even want
[44:33] Speaker 1: y'all to check me out at Trader Jos, I don't.
[44:36] Speaker 1: I don't want y'all to even look at me. No,
[44:40] Speaker 1: I'm joking, I'm joking. But that's really the situation we're headed. Like,
[44:45] Speaker 1: y'all don't even want simple retail jobs no more. Let
[44:47] Speaker 1: alone be our next government and stuff like even though
[44:52] Speaker 1: the government ain't that great right now, but it's just
[44:54] Speaker 1: gonna get worse. Oh that was one more thing I
[44:56] Speaker 1: wanted to say. I don't know.
[44:58] Speaker 2: I know I might get some hate for this, but
[45:01] Speaker 2: and I also don't agree with everything this person says.
[45:03] Speaker 1: But Candace Owens, she is.
[45:05] Speaker 2: One that speaks very strongly against the attack on the household.
[45:11] Speaker 1: Put your hate for this woman aside. She got a point.
[45:14] Speaker 2: You know, she talks about the attack on the black household.
[45:19] Speaker 1: And if you don't.
[45:20] Speaker 2: Believe having babies out of wetlock and dating for fifteen
[45:23] Speaker 2: years and this head and the third is outside of
[45:25] Speaker 2: Gods design, go listen to Candace Owen's point about any
[45:29] Speaker 2: point she makes about the broken household. It's insane and
[45:33] Speaker 2: how much they are trying to push it on the
[45:35] Speaker 2: black community too.
[45:37] Speaker 1: Definitely, because you can talk about the systems that took
[45:39] Speaker 1: black men away from the family, Yes, but the devil
[45:42] Speaker 1: made that system exactly y'all be thinking that these government
[45:45] Speaker 1: like systems and red lining and policies and stuff are
[45:49] Speaker 1: like the Devil didn't have a hand in that. He
[45:50] Speaker 1: had a hand in that. The devil gives business plans,
[45:53] Speaker 1: he gives government bills. The devil has a hand in
[45:56] Speaker 1: a lot of things in our country. And definitely, we
[46:00] Speaker 1: can talk all day about Wick and we could talk about,
[46:02] Speaker 1: you know, how they assassinated black leaders, and you can
[46:06] Speaker 1: talk about that all day, but that was the devil
[46:08] Speaker 1: sis right.
[46:09] Speaker 2: And when if anyone goes and listen to this Candis
[46:12] Speaker 2: Owens bit about the broken household.
[46:14] Speaker 1: Don't listen.
[46:15] Speaker 2: Don't look at it from a lens of Candace Owens
[46:17] Speaker 2: is speaking. Don't even look at her. Just listen to
[46:20] Speaker 2: what she is saying. It is facts, it is you know.
[46:25] Speaker 1: Candas Owens attacked me on her show one time, You're Ryan,
[46:28] Speaker 1: She did, but I loved it because she kept saying
[46:30] Speaker 1: my name. She was like, amani war them. I was like, yes,
[46:32] Speaker 1: you gotta tell them what She didn't like that I
[46:35] Speaker 1: said because I had this guy on my podcast who
[46:38] Speaker 1: was saying that a woman's job is to have children
[46:40] Speaker 1: and I was like no, I was like, kids are annoying.
[46:42] Speaker 1: I'm not having kids, and she was just like just
[46:47] Speaker 1: talking about women that don't want I am. And then
[46:51] Speaker 1: to put the cheery on the set on the freaking
[46:53] Speaker 1: Sunday since she showed it like she had one of
[46:56] Speaker 1: my old Instagram pictures where I was wearing like a
[46:58] Speaker 1: short dress and I was like, I look good and
[47:03] Speaker 1: see that she'd be doing them little the little escapades
[47:06] Speaker 1: or whatever. That's why people don't be liking Candace, but
[47:10] Speaker 1: lots of stuff.
[47:10] Speaker 2: I don't agree, but she'd be doing yeah, yeah, but
[47:13] Speaker 2: I also will agree with you that she does.
[47:16] Speaker 1: She makes a lot of good points about always is
[47:19] Speaker 1: a smart woman. She and if she would just you know,
[47:21] Speaker 1: level down a little bit on she clickbaiting. Yeah, that's
[47:25] Speaker 1: what it is. If she would just stop trying to
[47:27] Speaker 1: get her numbers up and just speak the back, people
[47:30] Speaker 1: would like her a lot more. Yes, Like, Candace, we
[47:32] Speaker 1: know you ain't got no black friends. Sis. You don't
[47:34] Speaker 1: got to keep talking about that. I mean, and that's
[47:40] Speaker 1: you know, like you don't got to keep saying it,
[47:42] Speaker 1: like don't show us that baby shower photo. No more sis,
[47:45] Speaker 1: Like we we know, we know she she's a lost one.
[47:48] Speaker 1: But but smart. Yes, you can't take that from her.
[47:52] Speaker 1: You can't, you can't, you can't. She annoying, but she's yeah.
[47:57] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[47:57] Speaker 1: So this was pulture versus Kingdom Dating edition, Marriage edition,
[48:02] Speaker 1: don't let the world disillusion you. Marriage is still very
[48:05] Speaker 1: much real. Marriage was created by the Lord. He gives
[48:09] Speaker 1: you your partner, if that's what you're supposed to be
[48:11] Speaker 1: doing it. And let me just say this too, because
[48:13] Speaker 1: a lot of people will say, well, how do I
[48:14] Speaker 1: know if it's in God's will for me to be
[48:16] Speaker 1: married or not? He gives you the desire for these things.
[48:19] Speaker 1: I believe that there are a lot of women who
[48:21] Speaker 1: never had the desire for marriage, but thought that they
[48:23] Speaker 1: should be getting married because because society pushed them and
[48:27] Speaker 1: they were miserable the whole time, because marriage was never
[48:29] Speaker 1: their calling, they just thought that they should be doing it,
[48:33] Speaker 1: which I said in the beginning is another lie of
[48:35] Speaker 1: the devil. He'll tell you that you, you know, all
[48:37] Speaker 1: these things everyone should be doing, marriages and accomplishment, go
[48:39] Speaker 1: after that marriage and that's probably not even usins and
[48:42] Speaker 1: that listening to him like, that's not you. It's not
[48:46] Speaker 1: just like children and for everybody. Marriage is not for everybody,
[48:49] Speaker 1: Not everything is not for everybody. You listen to what
[48:52] Speaker 1: the Lord has for your life. Yeah, and you let
[48:54] Speaker 1: him lead you in that way. Yep, definitely, And thanks
[48:57] Speaker 1: for watching the episode. Me and Victoria will be back
[48:59] Speaker 1: with episode three very soon. Thank you guys for watching.
[49:03] Speaker 1: We'll see you later. Bye.

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