# Unveiling Teen and Child Lying | Nervous System Strategies | E209

An episode of [Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1661843985), 10 Jul 2024, 12 min.

Audio: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/f116afaf-cb57-4f9f-b9b8-62f12fbd4bbd.mp3

Teen and Child Lying: Understanding Behavior and Building Honesty If your child lies frequently or seems dishonest, you’re not alone. Teen and child lying often signals a dysregulated child navigating stress, anxiety, or unmet emotional needs. In this episode, Dr. Roseann explains why kids lie, the developmental and emotional drivers behind dishonesty and practical strategies to encourage honesty while supporting Nervous System Regulation in Children. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why teen and child lying happens and how it differs from defiance • How to address lying through healthy control and autonomy • Practical strategies for Child Behavior Problems and Angry Child Behavior • How emotional and nervous system regulation reduces compulsive dishonesty Why children lie Children may lie to avoid punishment, hide mistakes, or manage stress. Lying often reflects: • Attempts to gain control in stressful situations • Anxiety, shame, or low self-esteem • Pressure to meet high expectations from parents, teachers, or peers How to give children healthy control Providing reasonable expectations and choices reduces the need to lie: • Offer small, safe decisions that let kids feel empowered • Balance structure and flexibility, avoid extremes of authoritarian or permissive parenting • Encourage autonomy to build self-confidence and honesty When professional support is needed If lying is pervasive across home, school, or social contexts, clinical support may help. Effective therapy involves parents and focuses on: • Addressing underlying anxiety or low self-esteem • Teaching coping strategies • Reinforcing honesty through safe practice Parenting strategies • Observe patterns and triggers behind lying • Avoid punishment alone; instead, validate feelings and co-regulate • Use clear communication and consistent routines to reduce stress • Model honesty and repair your own slips Parent tip: Behavior is communication. When the brain is calm, children can learn honesty more effectively. Listen + Take the Next Step Get your FREE Regulation Rescue Kit to support emotional regulation and behavior: 👉 www.drroseann.com/newsletter Connect with other parents in the Facebook group: https://drroseann.com/group Takeaway Teen and child lying is often a symptom, not defiance. By fostering autonomy, supporting nervous system regulation, and addressing underlying anxiety, parents can reduce dishonesty. FAQs Q1: Why do children lie? Lying is often a coping mechanism for anxiety, low self-esteem, or stress—not intentional misbehavior. Q2: How can I encourage honesty? Provide choices, validate feelings, model honesty, and co-regulate during stress. Q3: Is lying a sign of a behavioral disorder? Not always. Persistent lying across multiple contexts may warrant professional evaluation. Q4: How do I know if this is a dysregulated child? Frequent emotional outbursts, stress-driven avoidance, and inconsistent honesty are common signs. Q5: Can parenting style reduce lying? Yes. Balance structure with autonomy, set realistic expectations, and model calm, consistent regulation. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge helps parents understand Emotional Dysregulation in Children and teaches practical Nervous System Regulation in Children and Co-Regulation Techniques through Regulation First Parenting™.

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