# Dear Tartie

An episode of [And That's What You REALLY Missed](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1645980188), 19 Mar 2026, 34 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/67adaf3b-fc3c-4c67-9613-af12015fa842/8094040c-bb90-4d73-9d43-b4120011ec51/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=d5f905ac-eb40-4fc6-9d03-af120160041a

Jenna and Kevin are back with a brand new segment, 'Dear Tartie,' where they happily offer advice! They share tips and recommendations for an aspiring actress trying to break into the business, suggestions for a listener who feels they are too old to start over (it's never too late), and yes, they even offer relationship advice! Plus, Kevin shares a Spelling Bee update, including a surprise moment with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and how you can take a picture with Kevin after the show! For fun, exclusive content, and behind-the-scenes clips, follow us on Instagram @andthatswhatyoureallymissedpod & TikTok @thatswhatyoureallymissed! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: And that's what you really missed with Jenna.
[0:04] Speaker 2: And Kevin an iHeartRadio podcast.
[0:09] Speaker 1: Welcome to you, and that's what you really missed podcasts.
[0:12] Speaker 1: Hi Kevin, Hi Jenna. We were just chatting about your
[0:15] Speaker 1: ascid reflex, which feels like a blast from the past.
[0:18] Speaker 2: It just never goes away. It's my old friend, never
[0:21] Speaker 2: good old acid reflex. It really derailed my day.
[0:24] Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry. Does it affect your singing voice? Yes,
[0:30] Speaker 1: mm hmm, that's the worst.
[0:32] Speaker 2: Well now it's not so much. Actually I started getting
[0:36] Speaker 2: as reflecs during a show.
[0:38] Speaker 1: Oh no, Kevin, and.
[0:40] Speaker 2: So I started burping in like the second half of
[0:43] Speaker 2: the show, and then I have to sing like a
[0:45] Speaker 2: high note and my vo because I had to burn.
[0:50] Speaker 1: Oh my god. That is great, actually great.
[0:55] Speaker 2: And also it's it's more so for the long term
[1:01] Speaker 2: than the short term, the acid reflex, because that's also
[1:04] Speaker 2: what contributes to.
[1:05] Speaker 1: Like burns on your corn.
[1:09] Speaker 2: I'm sorry about the laryngitis and whatnot.
[1:11] Speaker 1: Right, Okay, So I gotta be good.
[1:13] Speaker 2: I got it. I have to eat better, take care
[1:16] Speaker 2: of this, take care of the flux.
[1:19] Speaker 1: I love when everybody's like, don't eat hot sauce and
[1:21] Speaker 1: they're like.
[1:22] Speaker 2: Well, I didn't drink though yesterday with Saint Patrick's Day.
[1:26] Speaker 1: I was gonna say happy Saint Patrick's say, I know
[1:27] Speaker 1: it's your favorite holiday. I have some friends that I
[1:30] Speaker 1: had to explain to them. My friends, my co workers
[1:34] Speaker 1: from Asian American Girl Club, they don't know about, like
[1:38] Speaker 1: they don't celebrate Saint Patty's Day, like they didn't grow
[1:40] Speaker 1: up celebrating Saint Patty's Day. I, on the other hand,
[1:43] Speaker 1: have an Irish mom. I grew up going to Irish
[1:47] Speaker 1: pubs for Saint Patty's Day, eating Irish soda, bread, eating corn,
[1:51] Speaker 1: beef and cabbage, getting green bagels and green beers. When
[1:54] Speaker 1: I got older, so I did the whole thing and
[1:57] Speaker 1: I had like explained to them, like that we celebrate
[1:59] Speaker 1: and how you celebrate, et cetera. I also thought about
[2:03] Speaker 1: how we celebrated during COVID for Shane Patti's Day, we
[2:08] Speaker 1: did a live and we took a shot at Jamison
[2:10] Speaker 1: that morning, and I remember thinking, I'm a little sick,
[2:13] Speaker 1: but I'll do it anyway. And I did it. And
[2:16] Speaker 1: I had COVID and you had COVID and we had
[2:19] Speaker 1: just seen each other, Yeah.
[2:21] Speaker 2: We had and I was freaking out, but I didn't
[2:24] Speaker 2: get it.
[2:25] Speaker 1: We did it.
[2:25] Speaker 2: It's fine.
[2:27] Speaker 1: I never got it.
[2:28] Speaker 2: Ever, Well, no, that's not true.
[2:32] Speaker 1: It's just kidding. You. Guys are raising money for every
[2:36] Speaker 1: care's equity fights aids. It's very exciting to see you
[2:39] Speaker 1: up there with the red bucket talking to the audience.
[2:41] Speaker 1: I saw that Jesse Tyler Ferguson came and signed some
[2:44] Speaker 1: stuff for you talk.
[2:45] Speaker 2: We don't know Jesse was there. Jesse popped up as
[2:47] Speaker 2: we're doing our little spiel and he's like, because we've
[2:50] Speaker 2: been auctioning off my placard that says my name, the
[2:52] Speaker 2: character name, and we all sign it, and we've raised
[2:58] Speaker 2: a couple thousand dollars so far doing it.
[3:00] Speaker 1: That's great.
[3:01] Speaker 2: And so he stood up and it was like, I'll
[3:03] Speaker 2: sign it. And he's there at this two kids excuse me. Yeah,
[3:08] Speaker 2: So I'm like, okay, you have to get up on stage.
[3:09] Speaker 2: So we forced him. We get up on stage and
[3:11] Speaker 2: he's here doing his show about Everybody Capodi. Yeah, Juman
[3:17] Speaker 2: Capote looks wonderful and I want to go see it.
[3:20] Speaker 2: I was talking to him about it's like a ninety
[3:22] Speaker 2: nine it's a ninety nine seat like venue. It's a
[3:25] Speaker 2: living room basically, and he's like sitting next to the
[3:27] Speaker 2: people anyway, wonderful to see him, and we're raising money.
[3:31] Speaker 2: I'm learning all about it because I didn't know. I
[3:35] Speaker 2: was like, what is a red bucket? What I know?
[3:38] Speaker 1: Broadaly Careers and then the easter bonnet? Will you guys
[3:41] Speaker 1: do the easter bonnet? Or no? Because you're off Broadway?
[3:43] Speaker 1: Does it think?
[3:45] Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not sure. But Broadway Cares is
[3:48] Speaker 2: like an incredible organization like SAG in a number of ways.
[3:52] Speaker 2: They help artists and non artists even in times of need.
[3:58] Speaker 2: They provide all kinds of services, urging, free time, emergency. Yes,
[4:04] Speaker 2: they literally do everything because you know, work can be
[4:07] Speaker 2: inconsistent the world. The world is in chaos, and so
[4:12] Speaker 2: when you need it, Broadway care steps in and can
[4:16] Speaker 2: really help.
[4:16] Speaker 1: One of my favorite things is that they do these
[4:19] Speaker 1: you know around the year, like in different seasons of
[4:22] Speaker 1: the year, where they raise money for a certain amount
[4:25] Speaker 1: of time and then they culminate with some kind of
[4:30] Speaker 1: event in a Broadway venue that's like everybody performs and shows,
[4:38] Speaker 1: do parodies or wonderful you know, thoughtful numbers and whatever.
[4:46] Speaker 1: It runs the gamut. But the Easter Bonnet is coming up,
[4:50] Speaker 1: and I guess this is the one that ands the
[4:52] Speaker 1: East women. And then they announce like the top three
[4:54] Speaker 1: shows that raise the most money for Broadway Cares.
[4:57] Speaker 2: Correct, So we're competing. We're competing against the other off
[5:00] Speaker 2: Broadway shows.
[5:01] Speaker 1: A little friendly competition, a little.
[5:04] Speaker 2: Shop is just I don't think anybody can compete with them.
[5:09] Speaker 2: We've been trying to recon to see how they do it,
[5:12] Speaker 2: because they've been up and running.
[5:13] Speaker 1: Right, Like what are they offering? What are they selling?
[5:16] Speaker 1: Because usually you can auction off like props on the set,
[5:18] Speaker 1: sign posters, you can sign meat and greets. You could
[5:21] Speaker 1: really do anything you want. So I'm curious what they
[5:23] Speaker 1: are auctioning they have.
[5:25] Speaker 2: I think they're auctioning off a lot of props and
[5:27] Speaker 2: they put them on eBay. You don't really have to
[5:30] Speaker 2: be there to do it.
[5:31] Speaker 1: Oh damn, they're getting like wide reaching a wider net.
[5:35] Speaker 2: So we we aren't there yet. We're building our ground
[5:38] Speaker 2: game here.
[5:39] Speaker 1: Okay, I understood.
[5:40] Speaker 2: Und So we're starting.
[5:43] Speaker 1: And you have a smaller theater than a lot of
[5:45] Speaker 1: these small and mighty but I'm I.
[5:48] Speaker 2: Mean, what we're doing is afterwards, I've been standing in
[5:51] Speaker 2: the lobby with the red bucket and I will take
[5:54] Speaker 2: a picture with whoever, but you got to donate.
[5:59] Speaker 1: For fixture and I love it. Yes, Did I tell
[6:03] Speaker 1: you about the time that I met Jim Carrey with
[6:05] Speaker 1: a red bucket? Jim Carrey came to see the King
[6:07] Speaker 1: and I I was out there with a red bucket
[6:09] Speaker 1: because of course they put the kids out there. You're like,
[6:11] Speaker 1: who's not gonna give money to kids waiting for the
[6:14] Speaker 1: red bucket. Knew Jim Carrey was there that night. I
[6:17] Speaker 1: brought a post it with me so that in case
[6:19] Speaker 1: I met him, I could have him sign it because
[6:21] Speaker 1: I was so excited, and I knew my brother would
[6:24] Speaker 1: want an autograph. So I'm waiting and waiting and he
[6:27] Speaker 1: comes by and drops one hundred dollars in my bucket
[6:30] Speaker 1: and I'm like, can I have your autograph? He's like,
[6:34] Speaker 1: I don't have a pen. I'm so sorry, and like
[6:36] Speaker 1: had to go because, like you know, there's a crowd
[6:38] Speaker 1: behind him, and I was devastated. How old were you nine?
[6:45] Speaker 1: So I was seven?
[6:48] Speaker 2: You know what's crazy? Probably was in the same year
[6:50] Speaker 2: we both met Jim Carrey.
[6:52] Speaker 1: Really, yeah, he was in the night.
[6:56] Speaker 2: My sister worked shoes in the intern on The Tonight Show,
[7:01] Speaker 2: and so when I was like six or seven years old,
[7:04] Speaker 2: I'd go hang out with her at work backstage, and
[7:08] Speaker 2: I remember being in the hallway with Jim Carrey and
[7:11] Speaker 2: he passed me and we chatted for a second.
[7:13] Speaker 1: I was like this, I mean, put him up there
[7:17] Speaker 1: in the ranks of like Bobs Williams, Tom It's like
[7:20] Speaker 1: all the greats, right icon Okay, anyway, so today we're
[7:24] Speaker 1: doing something really different and I'm really excited for it.
[7:27] Speaker 1: Thank you guys for writing in. Obviously, if you have questions, comments,
[7:31] Speaker 1: or seeking any kind of advice, unsolicited advice we're giving you.
[7:34] Speaker 1: We're giving you at all. Well, I mean it is solicited,
[7:37] Speaker 1: but it's also unsolicited because we're just going to be
[7:39] Speaker 1: giving you a lot of stuff.
[7:41] Speaker 2: Take what you will or.
[7:42] Speaker 1: Uneducated Yeah, dm us on Instagram email us said, and
[7:47] Speaker 1: that's what you really missed, pot at gmail dot com.
[7:49] Speaker 1: But this is your turney today. So our producer Sam
[7:52] Speaker 1: compiled some wonderful questions from you guys listeners, and she's
[7:58] Speaker 1: going to read them to us, and we're going to
[8:00] Speaker 1: give you our thoughts.
[8:02] Speaker 2: Our two cents.
[8:03] Speaker 3: Okay, this first one is from Addie, Hi, Jenna, and Kevin.
[8:07] Speaker 3: First of all, it's really important for me to tell
[8:09] Speaker 3: you I love your podcast. I mean so much to
[8:13] Speaker 3: me and to so many fans. It's really healing and comforting,
[8:16] Speaker 3: so thank you. I would really like to have some
[8:18] Speaker 3: advice on how to actually become an actress. My school
[8:21] Speaker 3: doesn't have a musical theater program, and there's nothing really
[8:24] Speaker 3: like this anywhere around me. I'm in a theater program,
[8:26] Speaker 3: but that's not the same and it's genuinely the only thing.
[8:29] Speaker 3: There's no plan B. So what practical advice do you
[8:32] Speaker 3: have for aspiring actors in the same situation.
[8:37] Speaker 1: Thanks for reading in Addie, and I'm so glad that
[8:39] Speaker 1: you want to become an actress.
[8:41] Speaker 2: And thank you for loving the podcast and listening.
[8:43] Speaker 1: Yes, thank you, thank you. Okay, well, it sounds like
[8:48] Speaker 1: you're in some kind of theater program, but it's not
[8:51] Speaker 1: what you hope for it to me, right, and there's
[8:54] Speaker 1: nothing else around you that is you're able to access
[8:59] Speaker 1: in where you are right now. I would obviously try
[9:06] Speaker 1: to find the local theaters or the regional theaters that
[9:15] Speaker 1: are close to you that you might be able to
[9:18] Speaker 1: access at a point where if you have that capability,
[9:23] Speaker 1: because that will be like the next step of like
[9:25] Speaker 1: kind of moving into more professional theater. I guess, but
[9:32] Speaker 1: where I don't know exactly where you are in your
[9:35] Speaker 1: training or in your how old you are, so this
[9:38] Speaker 1: is kind of hard. But my best advice is, like,
[9:43] Speaker 1: you have your computer, you have your music apps, you
[9:47] Speaker 1: have YouTube, find songs you like, find shows you like,
[9:51] Speaker 1: do research, find performers you like, kind of figure out
[9:56] Speaker 1: what you would love to do, and like pick a
[9:59] Speaker 1: lane and and then like kind of go with it. Right,
[10:01] Speaker 1: So if that's musical theater, it sounds like there's no
[10:04] Speaker 1: musical theater program near you, and you kind of want that,
[10:07] Speaker 1: like find the people that inspire you learn that music.
[10:14] Speaker 1: You can definitely access music online. Practice practice, practice, because
[10:19] Speaker 1: the more comfortable in your skin that you are in
[10:24] Speaker 1: having a repertoire of music for auditions and for when
[10:30] Speaker 1: people ask do you have anything you know, any kind
[10:32] Speaker 1: of real or anything like to see what you've done.
[10:35] Speaker 1: If you don't have that, you can perfect these songs
[10:38] Speaker 1: and make videos and then have them and then you
[10:42] Speaker 1: have this like arsenal of like knowledge, Right, you have
[10:45] Speaker 1: an arsenal of music and knowledge, and you know, like
[10:48] Speaker 1: kind of the road you want to go down. I
[10:51] Speaker 1: think that's a really good place to start, given like
[10:55] Speaker 1: the constraints of where you are.
[10:58] Speaker 2: I would also add on to that that maybe in addition,
[11:02] Speaker 2: some next steps would be, as you're building that profile
[11:06] Speaker 2: and that book songbook, if you will, if there's any
[11:12] Speaker 2: schooling programs that you are interested in that are further
[11:15] Speaker 2: away from you, and what it might take to get
[11:17] Speaker 2: in there, because like Jenna was saying that training is
[11:21] Speaker 2: key and you can do a lot of that on
[11:23] Speaker 2: your own, I think to a certain extent. And the
[11:26] Speaker 2: computer does connect you to everything and everyone, and there's
[11:29] Speaker 2: workshops online things like that. Obviously those things cost money,
[11:33] Speaker 2: so finances can also be a constraint. But I would
[11:38] Speaker 2: look for if there are any free programs or whatever
[11:41] Speaker 2: programs you're able to afford online, and then also, yeah,
[11:45] Speaker 2: what those requirements might be for schooling and then to
[11:48] Speaker 2: be able to expand, you know, maybe outside of where
[11:51] Speaker 2: you are. But it's a big risk. And I understand
[11:54] Speaker 2: having no plan B because same and you have to
[11:57] Speaker 2: just sort of dive in the details, but you also
[12:00] Speaker 2: want to make sure you are prepared for that moment
[12:04] Speaker 2: you're never going to be completely prepared. You're never You're
[12:07] Speaker 2: never going to be perfect, and that is completely fine,
[12:10] Speaker 2: but you have to be able to put yourself in
[12:12] Speaker 2: the best position possible within your constraints and then be
[12:19] Speaker 2: willing to grow and learn and hustle because it's it's hard,
[12:25] Speaker 2: but I love that you're already in a theater program.
[12:28] Speaker 2: It's obviously it's not the same as musical theater, but
[12:31] Speaker 2: that's that's the right direction. You got to take advantage
[12:33] Speaker 2: of whatever is around you.
[12:35] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, make your own opportunities. And as an aspiring actor,
[12:43] Speaker 1: I think the main emotional piece of this is like perseverance.
[12:49] Speaker 1: Just keep going if this is if you are sure
[12:52] Speaker 1: this is what you want to do this and you
[12:54] Speaker 1: need to do this or there's nothing else to do,
[12:57] Speaker 1: live and breathe, like, go for it and don't give up.
[13:01] Speaker 2: Yeah, And like regional theater is great, community theater is great,
[13:05] Speaker 2: So it doesn't have to all of a sudden be
[13:07] Speaker 2: I'm going to New York, right, that's not what it
[13:11] Speaker 2: needs to be.
[13:11] Speaker 1: Good places to start, Yeah, good.
[13:14] Speaker 2: Luck, Yeah, thank you, Addie. Sam. What we got next?
[13:26] Speaker 3: Okay, the next one is from Danny. How do you
[13:29] Speaker 3: all deal with the fear and anxiety of getting too
[13:32] Speaker 3: old to start over or start something new. I'm thirty
[13:35] Speaker 3: one and recently got into grad school and I'm starting
[13:38] Speaker 3: my career over and life essentially completely. I'm excited, but
[13:42] Speaker 3: I can't help but keep around this lingering anxiety of
[13:45] Speaker 3: I'm too old to be doing this. I should be
[13:47] Speaker 3: further ahead in life, more realized, more accomplished, et cetera.
[13:51] Speaker 3: Any tips for that nagging voice.
[13:53] Speaker 2: Oh, what a great, great, great question.
[13:57] Speaker 1: I it's so good. It's so good.
[14:03] Speaker 2: That's the magic of being in your thirties. That nagging
[14:06] Speaker 2: voice really just turns up.
[14:09] Speaker 1: Yes, yes, okay, I know this is a very good question.
[14:13] Speaker 1: This is very sound, and it's very I think common
[14:20] Speaker 1: the average person who and not that this is financially driven,
[14:23] Speaker 1: but the average millionaire doesn't become a millionaire until they're
[14:27] Speaker 1: like fifty. So I'm just saying, like, we need to
[14:31] Speaker 1: celebrate and we live in a society and culture where
[14:35] Speaker 1: we are so achievement based and time is running out
[14:40] Speaker 1: and it's too and you're you've wasted time if you failed,
[14:46] Speaker 1: right like this like idea of failure. But how many
[14:50] Speaker 1: things did you need to do in your twenties and
[14:52] Speaker 1: early thirties to get to this place where you're about
[14:56] Speaker 1: to take this huge leap and need that to succeed
[14:59] Speaker 1: in this next chapter of life. So I feel the same.
[15:03] Speaker 1: I feel like, oh my god, I've you know, I've
[15:07] Speaker 1: done this one thing really well for a really long
[15:10] Speaker 1: amount of time, and I'm pivoting in my career too.
[15:12] Speaker 1: And then I'm like, oh my god, it's too late.
[15:18] Speaker 1: What am I doing? Go back?
[15:19] Speaker 2: Right?
[15:20] Speaker 1: But there's like this feeling that I know that's strong me,
[15:23] Speaker 1: like I have to try this, I have to keep going.
[15:27] Speaker 1: Sorry I just made that personal, but I think you
[15:31] Speaker 1: have to be really sound in knowing that like you
[15:34] Speaker 1: are making, you are making choices for yourself that feel
[15:40] Speaker 1: right in that moment. They may not pan out to
[15:42] Speaker 1: be exactly what you imagined, but I think that's life.
[15:48] Speaker 1: I think that we back to the society culture thing
[15:51] Speaker 1: of like it's too we're too old to start over.
[15:55] Speaker 1: I think it's so brave and so courageous to take
[15:59] Speaker 1: that because in the end, I think your instincts are
[16:03] Speaker 1: probably right and it's going to make you happier in
[16:06] Speaker 1: the long run. So I think you have to listen
[16:09] Speaker 1: to drown out the noise, right and listen to the real,
[16:12] Speaker 1: deep inner voice of like why you did this in
[16:14] Speaker 1: the first place. And I also think we need to
[16:21] Speaker 1: take like we need to just drown out the noise
[16:23] Speaker 1: of like what everybody else is doing, because it's very easy,
[16:26] Speaker 1: especially with social media, to turn you know, get in there,
[16:31] Speaker 1: see everybody around you in person and on social media
[16:36] Speaker 1: having all these wins, doing all these things that we
[16:39] Speaker 1: are so complimentary of. But really, when you get down
[16:45] Speaker 1: to it, like we need to be celebrating everybody's wins.
[16:48] Speaker 1: And I think we should be celebrating when people decide
[16:51] Speaker 1: to take a leap of faith and start over and
[16:54] Speaker 1: start different. So that's my two cents is just really
[16:59] Speaker 1: dig deep into listening to the voice of why you
[17:02] Speaker 1: did it in the first place.
[17:05] Speaker 2: Yeah, very well said it's easy to lose track of
[17:08] Speaker 2: that voice in the especially like the moments you got
[17:11] Speaker 2: caught up. I think something that you mentioned too is
[17:15] Speaker 2: like the comparison of other people. We do celebrate often
[17:19] Speaker 2: really young people achieving these miraculous things at a really
[17:23] Speaker 2: young age that is so rare, that is so incredibly rare,
[17:29] Speaker 2: But yet we are all comparing ourselves to that made
[17:32] Speaker 2: up metric, and I think the framing of I fully
[17:37] Speaker 2: understand like the fear and the anxiety and sort of
[17:39] Speaker 2: like the existential crisis of being thirty one and feeling
[17:43] Speaker 2: like you're starting over. However, you're not completing, you're not
[17:47] Speaker 2: completely starting over, and you're not starting from scratch in
[17:50] Speaker 2: terms of you now have thirty one years of life
[17:54] Speaker 2: that you have lived and you're putting yourself in a
[17:58] Speaker 2: position now to make decisions based off of all of that.
[18:02] Speaker 2: That is so much more experience and so much more
[18:05] Speaker 2: valuable than if you were doing this a decade ago.
[18:08] Speaker 2: And so I think if you can take that with
[18:10] Speaker 2: you as your foundation, because whatever you did before this,
[18:14] Speaker 2: like Jenna said, has led you to this, and taking
[18:18] Speaker 2: that experience, the good and the bad, and informing how
[18:21] Speaker 2: you handle this new chapter will make you successful in
[18:24] Speaker 2: whatever you're choosing to do now. And thirty one, by
[18:28] Speaker 2: the way, is not old and i at all. It
[18:32] Speaker 2: is super super super young, And I think the beauty
[18:37] Speaker 2: of your thirties is having that experience and being like,
[18:40] Speaker 2: I know what I'm good at, I know what I'm
[18:42] Speaker 2: not good at, and I know it scares me, but
[18:44] Speaker 2: yet I'm doing it anyway, m h and I think
[18:48] Speaker 2: you know when you are younger than that, sometimes the
[18:51] Speaker 2: ignorance or naivete can make you do things that you're
[18:54] Speaker 2: scared of, but also knowing that you're going to have
[18:57] Speaker 2: to push harder or persevere through these certain moments coming
[19:03] Speaker 2: up and feeling like like getting into grad school is
[19:06] Speaker 2: hard on its own. You already did that, You already
[19:09] Speaker 2: got one degree.
[19:10] Speaker 1: Literally, I haven't done that.
[19:13] Speaker 2: Jenna has. But we didn't get into grad school. No,
[19:17] Speaker 2: we didn't know, And so like that's already a huge
[19:19] Speaker 2: thing that not a lot of people have accomplished. So
[19:23] Speaker 2: take the wins where you can, and like Jenna said,
[19:26] Speaker 2: listen to that voice of why you decided to do
[19:27] Speaker 2: this in the first place, and trust your thirty one
[19:30] Speaker 2: years of experience.
[19:31] Speaker 1: That's right, Trust yeah, trust that inner voice. Okay, thanks
[19:38] Speaker 1: for writing in and we wish you the best of us.
[19:41] Speaker 2: Yes, thanks Danny. We need an update, you know.
[19:44] Speaker 1: Yes, we need to do these more so that we
[19:46] Speaker 1: can get the goods.
[19:49] Speaker 2: Okay, Sam, that's next.
[19:51] Speaker 1: Sam.
[19:52] Speaker 3: Next one is from Jack and we're heading into relationship territory. Hi,
[19:57] Speaker 3: Jenna and Kevin, I hope you both are doing well.
[20:00] Speaker 3: I'm a longtime fan of Glee and truly enjoy listening
[20:02] Speaker 3: to your podcast. I'm writing to seek your advice regarding
[20:05] Speaker 3: as situationship I have been in for about two years. Recently,
[20:08] Speaker 3: I found it increasingly difficult to navigate my partner's behaviors,
[20:11] Speaker 3: particularly when we are in social settings. Whenever a third
[20:15] Speaker 3: party joins us, such as his best friend, he tends
[20:18] Speaker 3: to act arrogantly and largely ignores me. He will engage
[20:21] Speaker 3: fully with his friend for hours, and if I attempt
[20:24] Speaker 3: to chime in, my contributions are often dismissed as iological
[20:27] Speaker 3: or immediately corrected. While he views this behavior as normal,
[20:30] Speaker 3: I find it disrespectful and hurtful. I would greatly appreciate
[20:34] Speaker 3: any insight or advice you might have on how to
[20:36] Speaker 3: handle this dynamic. Thank you for taking the time to
[20:38] Speaker 3: read my message and for all the great content you create.
[20:41] Speaker 2: Best Jack Well. First of all, Jack, thank you for
[20:46] Speaker 2: being a fan of Glee and listening to the podcast.
[20:48] Speaker 2: We appreciate that, yes, I have questions, I immediately have
[20:54] Speaker 2: the contextual questions. Yeah, when you say situationship and it's
[21:00] Speaker 2: been going on for about two years, but then also
[21:03] Speaker 2: call them your partner. I I'm not sure what the
[21:08] Speaker 2: situation is, you know, are you together are you not?
[21:13] Speaker 2: But I off the bat, I will say, whether it's
[21:17] Speaker 2: a friend, a romantic partner, or whoever, somebody you're spending
[21:21] Speaker 2: two years with, in any capacity, you should be around
[21:27] Speaker 2: people who respect you, your opinions, you as a human being,
[21:32] Speaker 2: and in any situation, especially someone that you consider a partner,
[21:37] Speaker 2: to be treated with that respect regardless of who you're around,
[21:41] Speaker 2: but even more importantly around people that are important to
[21:44] Speaker 2: you or your partner. So for me, I would say,
[21:50] Speaker 2: I think that's a bigger conversation to have with them
[21:53] Speaker 2: about treating someone that you are with, that you presumably
[21:59] Speaker 2: like and love, with that courtesy, regardless if it's a
[22:02] Speaker 2: private or in public, because yes, that is disrespectful, disrespectful
[22:06] Speaker 2: to you as a human being, especially someone who supposedly
[22:12] Speaker 2: cares about you. You know, it seems like based off
[22:16] Speaker 2: of this, obviously we're getting one side of this, but
[22:19] Speaker 2: based off of what we are given, it feels like
[22:25] Speaker 2: you are being sort of tossed aside and not being
[22:29] Speaker 2: respected that way. Yes, I would, I would say, you
[22:33] Speaker 2: have to. It's a line in the sand. I would
[22:35] Speaker 2: think you know of Yes, I'm either treated as somebody
[22:39] Speaker 2: that you want to be around, because otherwise why would
[22:43] Speaker 2: you be with me? And yep, I it's it's complicated.
[22:48] Speaker 1: Well, I do think I gathered that they were in
[22:52] Speaker 1: a relationship, and this is the situationship, like the three
[22:55] Speaker 1: of the dynamic is the situationship. That's the way I do.
[22:59] Speaker 1: I I agree with you, Kevin on all friends, and
[23:02] Speaker 1: I think there's two things here that we need to address.
[23:05] Speaker 1: One is boundaries for yourself of really looking deep inside
[23:11] Speaker 1: yourself to say, where is the line that I'm willing
[23:14] Speaker 1: to let people Like Kevin said, where's the line, like
[23:18] Speaker 1: where you cross the line if you treat me like this,
[23:21] Speaker 1: if you disrespect me, if you speak to me, you know,
[23:24] Speaker 1: like it's just it's something that you have to decide
[23:28] Speaker 1: how far you're willing to let that go and then
[23:33] Speaker 1: decide what happens at that point when they pass that
[23:37] Speaker 1: line or if this is acceptable to you. I think
[23:40] Speaker 1: the other thing is I don't obviously we have like
[23:45] Speaker 1: contextual questions. I'm curious because you said he views this
[23:49] Speaker 1: behavior as normal. I'm assuming you've addressed this to him before,
[23:56] Speaker 1: But how you've addressed it, I think is the question
[23:58] Speaker 1: of saying me, maybe going and doing it from only
[24:03] Speaker 1: your perspective, not putting the blame on him, not saying
[24:06] Speaker 1: that you're you know you're doing this when you're out
[24:08] Speaker 1: with your friends, but saying I feel this way, I
[24:12] Speaker 1: feel disrespected, I feel hurt, I feel like a lone
[24:18] Speaker 1: wolf when you're with your best friends, and then you know,
[24:21] Speaker 1: whatever transpires after that. I think it's a really good
[24:24] Speaker 1: way always to go into a conversation, and it allows
[24:28] Speaker 1: the other person to hear things more clearly versus feeling attacked.
[24:32] Speaker 1: So I do think it's really important that when you
[24:34] Speaker 1: go into these conversations and I think you should address
[24:36] Speaker 1: it again because it sounds like it has not been resolved,
[24:39] Speaker 1: you go in and you say, this is these are
[24:41] Speaker 1: the things I'm feeling, and this is why, And if
[24:44] Speaker 1: this person genuinely cares about you, they will hear it,
[24:48] Speaker 1: maybe not right away, but will take steps to change
[24:52] Speaker 1: this behavior. And then we go into the boundary place
[24:55] Speaker 1: of if they don't, how what are you willing to
[24:58] Speaker 1: accept for yourself and what are you not willing to accept?
[25:01] Speaker 1: So I think that's that's my take on this, and
[25:04] Speaker 1: I hope that you so that this works out for
[25:09] Speaker 1: you because you deserve to be treated Everybody deserves to
[25:13] Speaker 1: be treated well and kindly. Base level.
[25:17] Speaker 2: That's a bare minimum, especially after that amount of time. Right,
[25:24] Speaker 2: Because I'm also assuming you know his friends, you know,
[25:28] Speaker 2: and so I think other people also have different expectations
[25:31] Speaker 2: for themselves. And I think, yeah, you were saying, Jenna
[25:34] Speaker 2: is like correct. It's because maybe, like you know, there's
[25:37] Speaker 2: a world in which your partner, he never notices this
[25:42] Speaker 2: because it's not never an issue for him. Someone did
[25:44] Speaker 2: this to him, he wouldn't be bothered by it, so
[25:46] Speaker 2: he it's a problem, right.
[25:47] Speaker 1: But it's about you, right. I think there's also like
[25:53] Speaker 1: you can't control how other people act, how they react,
[25:56] Speaker 1: how they do anything. You can only control your own
[25:58] Speaker 1: emotions and your own And I think that in this
[26:04] Speaker 1: example or situationship, if you choose that you're like, oh,
[26:09] Speaker 1: I love him and every other way and trip and
[26:11] Speaker 1: for him, this is the only thing that you know
[26:14] Speaker 1: is an issue. You could also remove yourself from these situations.
[26:19] Speaker 1: When they go hang out with their friends, you could
[26:21] Speaker 1: say I'm going to stay home.
[26:23] Speaker 2: No, yes, but also no, this this guy needs two no.
[26:29] Speaker 1: No, I mean there definitely say be a beggar, come
[26:31] Speaker 1: to Jesus. But I'm just saying you could also remove
[26:35] Speaker 1: yourself from these situations until in a smaller picture and
[26:38] Speaker 1: a bigger picture, right, like in a bigger way. But anyway,
[26:41] Speaker 1: I think that's we just want the best for you,
[26:44] Speaker 1: Jack n Yeah, you know, and thanks for writing.
[26:47] Speaker 2: Yeah, just love yourself, Thanks Jack, Sam. What else we
[27:00] Speaker 2: got going on?
[27:01] Speaker 3: Okay, So this was in a submission from Instagram, and
[27:05] Speaker 3: this person says, I'm twenty five, still single, hate dating apps?
[27:09] Speaker 3: Where can I find my mate?
[27:11] Speaker 1: Who? That is a good question, Well, twenty five is
[27:17] Speaker 1: also young. Like I'm not discounting your feelings or like
[27:20] Speaker 1: your experience here, but I'm like, you know, you've got
[27:25] Speaker 1: time and and like you know, like the world isn't
[27:30] Speaker 1: over for you, Like there's still time, yes, and there's opportunity.
[27:35] Speaker 1: So I'm like, don't stress out, Like it's okay. Some
[27:40] Speaker 1: people don't meet their partners till way later. Yeah, I know.
[27:44] Speaker 1: The dating apps are like kind of the new norm
[27:46] Speaker 1: and the way a convenience. You could output ask other friends,
[27:52] Speaker 1: do you have any friends or who are look single? Friends?
[27:56] Speaker 1: Who are you know? And you could name the things
[27:59] Speaker 1: that you're looking for in a mate and you know,
[28:03] Speaker 1: ask them and just put your kind of put it
[28:05] Speaker 1: out there into the world, like I'm looking for somebody.
[28:08] Speaker 1: You could also do join a hobby or something that
[28:12] Speaker 1: you like to do, like and see if there's like
[28:15] Speaker 1: people you meet in a like minded way. Right, Like
[28:19] Speaker 1: so if you go and you do tennis lessons or classes,
[28:22] Speaker 1: group classes and you meet some friends, like you're opening
[28:25] Speaker 1: yourself up and also with like minded people if you
[28:29] Speaker 1: like to play tennis, like these people also like to
[28:31] Speaker 1: play tennis. So there's just like ways in which you
[28:33] Speaker 1: can like involve yourself in communities. I think that, like
[28:39] Speaker 1: I just believe like putting it out into the universe
[28:41] Speaker 1: that you're looking for this like is a little woo woo,
[28:44] Speaker 1: but I do believe that it brings you things that
[28:47] Speaker 1: you're looking for.
[28:48] Speaker 2: And putting yourself in situations, just putting yourself out there
[28:51] Speaker 2: in situations where you're more able or likely to meet people,
[28:56] Speaker 2: especially with shared answers like you said, like hobbies or
[29:00] Speaker 2: anything like that. But also it's like the old joke
[29:02] Speaker 2: of like when we were growing up, it's like how
[29:04] Speaker 2: did your parents be like, oh, at a bar, not
[29:07] Speaker 2: saying you need to go to a bar and you
[29:08] Speaker 2: have to drink, but like just going places where you
[29:12] Speaker 2: are able to be social, to branch out, expand those
[29:15] Speaker 2: friend groups because if you're not I understand hating dating apps.
[29:20] Speaker 1: It's totally just hard.
[29:21] Speaker 2: And also like I think, really hard to get a
[29:23] Speaker 2: fair impression of somebody through an app and then you
[29:27] Speaker 2: selling something, and so it's I think it takes a
[29:32] Speaker 2: lot more effort because you physically have to put yourself
[29:35] Speaker 2: out there. But I also think you know, knowing in
[29:39] Speaker 2: the back of your mind that's your goal to go
[29:42] Speaker 2: out there though, and not put as hard as it
[29:44] Speaker 2: may be, to not put pressure on it because you
[29:47] Speaker 2: don't want to come off. You don't want to operate
[29:49] Speaker 2: from a fear or desperation. You want to just be
[29:53] Speaker 2: out there, be positive, knowing that that's what you're looking for,
[29:58] Speaker 2: and doing the going extra mile of yeah, putting yourself
[30:02] Speaker 2: in as many situations where you maybe people as possible.
[30:05] Speaker 2: That's hard though. It's a hard question for everybody, and
[30:09] Speaker 2: it's like you just never know. It's sort of I
[30:11] Speaker 2: sort of feel like it's like auditioning, like you're always
[30:16] Speaker 2: prepared and willing to work and you never know when
[30:19] Speaker 2: it's gonna come. But the more you go into it
[30:21] Speaker 2: with the more pressure, the worse it usually goes.
[30:24] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, exactly. And the more open you are
[30:27] Speaker 1: and like willing for whatever, you'd let it go right Yeah.
[30:32] Speaker 2: Well, which feels counterintuitive and counterproductive.
[30:34] Speaker 1: But we're rooting for you.
[30:36] Speaker 2: Yes, thanks for writing in.
[30:39] Speaker 3: This is from Anthony, and there's no advice. He's just
[30:42] Speaker 3: sending in a thank you.
[30:43] Speaker 1: Oh.
[30:44] Speaker 3: As someone who doesn't like teen dramas or musicals, I'm
[30:47] Speaker 3: not quite sure why I'm.
[30:48] Speaker 1: A fan of Glee.
[30:49] Speaker 3: It's still strange shocking to me, but I love the
[30:52] Speaker 3: show and have done a rewatch of the series a
[30:54] Speaker 3: few times. I recently discovered your podcast and I wanted
[30:57] Speaker 3: to write and say how terrific it is. You guys
[30:59] Speaker 3: make us see you I love even more meaningful to
[31:01] Speaker 3: me with your review of the episodes and all the
[31:03] Speaker 3: backstage stories and bts dish. You two have wonderful chemistry
[31:07] Speaker 3: and are great hosts. And I'm working my way through
[31:09] Speaker 3: your archives and I'm enjoying the interviews with actors and
[31:12] Speaker 3: others who worked on the show. Keep the apps coming
[31:15] Speaker 3: and I'll keep listening. I've always liked the character of
[31:18] Speaker 3: Artie and I always thought Kevin was one of the
[31:19] Speaker 3: most talented cast members.
[31:21] Speaker 1: He was a favorite.
[31:21] Speaker 3: I liked Tina too, but it wasn't until the podcasts
[31:24] Speaker 3: that I've come to realize that Tina and Jenna were
[31:27] Speaker 3: really underappreciated, but not only myself but the show itself,
[31:31] Speaker 3: which never gave her the flowers she deserves. In my opinion,
[31:35] Speaker 3: of the many mistakes gle made over the years, that
[31:38] Speaker 3: was one of the most glaring. But I've grown to
[31:41] Speaker 3: enjoy both Tina and Jenna in a way that I
[31:43] Speaker 3: didn't know while the show was airing, and that has
[31:45] Speaker 3: increased my overall love for the show. So thank you both.
[31:48] Speaker 3: Signed Anthony Anthony Anthony by Discuss for Today.
[31:54] Speaker 1: Thank you so so much. Wow, that's really sweet. I
[31:58] Speaker 1: love I love stories of like people who are like
[32:02] Speaker 1: converts and you know there's something special about it and
[32:07] Speaker 1: that's always like just always rings true and everything that
[32:10] Speaker 1: we do. So we're just so grateful to hear from
[32:13] Speaker 1: you guys, and that's really kind.
[32:16] Speaker 2: I also love that because like teen dramas and musicals
[32:19] Speaker 2: are definitely not your thing, but you haven't shied away
[32:22] Speaker 2: from it. In fact, you've leaned in and you're listening
[32:25] Speaker 2: to the podcast, So thank you, because you never know
[32:28] Speaker 2: when somebody's going to find you that time in your
[32:30] Speaker 2: life and holds a special place and you don't need
[32:34] Speaker 2: to know why you like it, you just do and
[32:36] Speaker 2: I appreciate it. Thanks for sharing, Thanks for liking Artie
[32:38] Speaker 2: and now Tina and Jenna really appreciate it.
[32:41] Speaker 1: And thanks for listening to the podcast.
[32:43] Speaker 2: Yes, thanks everybody for writing in.
[32:46] Speaker 1: Yeah, this was really fun. Let us know if you
[32:47] Speaker 1: liked it, and if you have questions. It doesn't have
[32:50] Speaker 1: to be a serious like, it can be whatever you.
[32:52] Speaker 2: Want to be. Yeah, anything, get creative.
[32:55] Speaker 1: Let's get created.
[32:57] Speaker 2: Jenna, I'm very excited about what we're doing next week
[33:01] Speaker 2: because this is something that has come up time and
[33:04] Speaker 2: time again. I get asked weekly by people. But we're
[33:09] Speaker 2: gonna be talking about songs Glee would cover if it
[33:12] Speaker 2: was on today.
[33:14] Speaker 1: Oh my god, let's do it.
[33:15] Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do so. Thank you for writing in. Continue
[33:18] Speaker 2: to write in and that's really miss pod at gmail
[33:21] Speaker 2: dot com or the Instagram. That's what you really miss
[33:25] Speaker 2: Thanks for listening and follow us on Instagram at and
[33:29] Speaker 2: that's what you really miss pod. Make sure to write
[33:31] Speaker 2: us a review. And leave us five stars. See you
[33:33] Speaker 2: next time.

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