# Ms. Pat: Overcoming Trauma With Laughter And A Sense Of Humor

An episode of [Angie Martinez IRL](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1633466636), 23 Oct 2026, 1 h 03 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/808/arttrk.com/p/ARTS0/podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/09313230-a088-4537-b3d1-aeca00f910df/9fd384ca-cef1-46a6-b924-b4ec002bb250/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=910ebdb0-f7f7-4c39-a376-aeca00f9f039

Comedian and actress Ms. Pat sits down with Angie Martinez to talk about her unexpected journey to fame, how having a sense of humor is important for getting through life in one piece, and how she hit the jackpot as an adoptive parent. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: You ever had something being that shit stick to the
[0:01] Speaker 1: top of your mouth? You try to swallow, girl, it's
[0:03] Speaker 1: like you got two dicks.
[0:04] Speaker 2: In your mouth.
[0:05] Speaker 1: Ain't nothing going down.
[0:06] Speaker 2: Why would you ever have two dicks in your mouth?
[0:08] Speaker 1: I'm just saying. I like how you always come back
[0:11] Speaker 1: with a question. Stop asking me questions and just get
[0:16] Speaker 1: the visual.
[0:21] Speaker 2: Hey guys, thank you for watching. Today's episode is brought
[0:24] Speaker 2: to you by Boost Mobile. Listen guys, there aren't many
[0:27] Speaker 2: people who can confidently say that they have reached the
[0:30] Speaker 2: American dream, but my guest today on IRL, Ken, she's
[0:34] Speaker 2: a comedian, actress, wife, mother, survivor, who's turned some of
[0:37] Speaker 2: the hardest chapters of her life into comedy. She is
[0:40] Speaker 2: the star and co-creator of the Emmy-nominated, record-breaking Miss Pat
[0:45] Speaker 2: show and the author of her second.
[0:47] Speaker 3: Memoir, Miss American Dream, which is here.
[0:50] Speaker 1: Cheers, Ms.
[0:51] Speaker 2: Pat on IRL today. You are a busy lady, Ms. Pat.
[0:58] Speaker 2: I'm trying to be. I try to stay busy.
[1:01] Speaker 1: You know, I got to work.
[1:02] Speaker 2: You got to pay taxes. You got people to take
[1:04] Speaker 2: care of. You got all them children to take care of.
[1:07] Speaker 2: I got all them children.
[1:09] Speaker 1: Now one of them I gave birth to, but I'm
[1:11] Speaker 1: their grandaunt, so I have a lot of children.
[1:13] Speaker 3: Wait, you said not one of them?
[1:15] Speaker 2: Yes, you did.
[1:16] Speaker 1: No, one of them kids came out of me. My
[1:18] Speaker 1: kids are grown.
[1:19] Speaker 2: But your kids are grown, but you gave birth to
[1:21] Speaker 2: those kids, no? The seven that's at my house now? Oh,
[1:23] Speaker 2: not the seven in the house. Oh, yeah, I gave
[1:25] Speaker 2: birth to the other one.
[1:26] Speaker 1: To the other ones that are out the house. 40, 38, 28,
[1:30] Speaker 1: and I think he's 26. I don't know. Something like that.
[1:33] Speaker 4: Yes.
[1:34] Speaker 1: When I can't file taxes for you, I forget about
[1:36] Speaker 1: your name and your age.
[1:38] Speaker 4: So.
[1:39] Speaker 1: And now that I'm in a different tax bracket, I
[1:42] Speaker 1: don't remember nobody dying.
[1:43] Speaker 2: Usually after people spend, especially when you had like so
[1:46] Speaker 2: many things in your life happen, but usually people who
[1:49] Speaker 2: get to that phase where their kids are finally out
[1:51] Speaker 2: to be out the house and they're like, okay, this
[1:53] Speaker 2: next chapter of my life is going to, Be free
[1:57] Speaker 2: and fun.
[1:58] Speaker 3: And you were like, yeah, nah.
[2:01] Speaker 1: No, it's God. God can say, okay, I got something
[2:03] Speaker 1: else for you to do.
[2:04] Speaker 2: I was like, Lord, why are you.
[2:06] Speaker 1: Keeping me so busy? This is my fourth or fifth
[2:09] Speaker 1: set of kids I've raised. And I just got the
[2:11] Speaker 1: last set of probably about six months ago. And I
[2:13] Speaker 1: was like, God, this is it.
[2:14] Speaker 3: Has it only been six months?
[2:16] Speaker 1: For the new ones. The other one is seven of them.
[2:19] Speaker 1: So the first four... I had for 14 years. And
[2:22] Speaker 1: then just recently, six months ago, I got the other
[2:25] Speaker 1: one six months ago.
[2:27] Speaker 4: So.
[2:28] Speaker 3: And that's the eight-year-old?
[2:30] Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the eight-year-old, 12-year-old, and 13-year-old.
[2:33] Speaker 2: Woo!
[2:34] Speaker 1: Along with the other four I already had. So I
[2:36] Speaker 1: have seven kids now.
[2:37] Speaker 2: What is that process like, you know, bringing new children
[2:40] Speaker 2: into the house?
[2:41] Speaker 1: Well, I call them my crack babies, right? So my
[2:43] Speaker 1: old crack babies do not like the new... They didn't
[2:46] Speaker 1: like them at first, but they're first cousins. But it's
[2:48] Speaker 1: coming together, you know? It takes a minute, you know?
[2:52] Speaker 1: Crackers are arrows. So when they don't come from that
[2:54] Speaker 1: same crack arrow, they don't understand.
[2:57] Speaker 2: Do all your kids have a sense of humor?
[2:59] Speaker 1: Yes. I don't know about the kids that I'm raising,
[3:01] Speaker 1: but the ones I gave birth to, all of them
[3:03] Speaker 1: do have a sense of humor. And the kids know
[3:05] Speaker 1: I'm a comedian. So sometimes... They laugh at me.
[3:08] Speaker 2: So how do you make this decision? You say God
[3:11] Speaker 2: tells you to do it, so is it a clear
[3:13] Speaker 2: blank how?
[3:14] Speaker 3: What happens?
[3:14] Speaker 1: No, I'm rebellious. I talk back to God. You know,
[3:17] Speaker 1: I said a few curse words. I was stubborn. And
[3:20] Speaker 1: through a couple dreams and menopause, I went ahead and
[3:23] Speaker 1: did what he asked me to do, and I went
[3:24] Speaker 1: and got him. So that made it six girls and
[3:27] Speaker 1: one boy. I do have two graduating this year, so
[3:30] Speaker 1: I don't know how that's going to help me. You know,
[3:32] Speaker 1: college is next, but we'll see what happens.
[3:35] Speaker 4: Wow.
[3:36] Speaker 2: Do you love it?
[3:37] Speaker 1: I love giving any child a solid foundation to start
[3:40] Speaker 1: on because, I mean, I was that little girl that
[3:42] Speaker 1: didn't have a solid foundation. And I know what happened
[3:45] Speaker 1: when a kid don't have a solid foundation to start
[3:48] Speaker 1: out on. So, you know, my daughter always tell me
[3:52] Speaker 1: I'm always trying to save the little girl that nobody
[3:55] Speaker 1: saved in me, which was a rabbit. So every time
[3:58] Speaker 1: I save one, I say, that's a rabbit that didn't
[4:00] Speaker 1: get caught.
[4:02] Speaker 2: Do they all... Because, you know, they say that children
[4:06] Speaker 2: who are chosen, they even get more loved on because
[4:10] Speaker 2: they are chosen.
[4:11] Speaker 3: Sometimes when you have your own kid, your kid... I
[4:13] Speaker 3: don't know.
[4:14] Speaker 2: I've heard that from people who are, like, adopted or
[4:16] Speaker 2: brought in that, like, sometimes parents, like, it's almost like a.
[4:20] Speaker 3: I don't know.
[4:21] Speaker 1: You love the free kids more?
[4:23] Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear that they love the free kids. Not
[4:26] Speaker 2: that they love them more, but the experience, like the
[4:28] Speaker 2: kids who are chosen feel super loved.
[4:32] Speaker 1: Well, my kids probably felt that way, too. But I
[4:34] Speaker 1: told my kids, I said, y'all don't have anything to
[4:36] Speaker 1: worry about. Y'all had a good mama. These kids didn't
[4:38] Speaker 1: have a good mama. But out of all of them,
[4:41] Speaker 1: you know, along with my four kids, I will be
[4:43] Speaker 1: honest with you, everybody have a favorite. And I do
[4:46] Speaker 1: have a favorite.
[4:47] Speaker 2: You do?
[4:48] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's my baby. His name is Junebug. And I
[4:50] Speaker 1: tell them all, Junebug is my favorite. I tell all
[4:52] Speaker 1: my kids that.
[4:53] Speaker 3: Why is he your favorite?
[4:54] Speaker 1: I don't know. I think he snuck up in me.
[4:58] Speaker 1: And I didn't even know I was pregnant until I
[5:00] Speaker 1: was about to give birth. I thought I was just
[5:02] Speaker 1: fat and eating.
[5:04] Speaker 2: I always wonder how that could happen to people.
[5:06] Speaker 1: Because you still have like a light period. And I
[5:08] Speaker 1: went to the doctor and they was like, you're like
[5:10] Speaker 1: six months pregnant. I was like, where? And I was
[5:13] Speaker 1: wondering why my husband kept eating triple. My husband was
[5:15] Speaker 1: eating so many triple burgers from Burger King. And I
[5:18] Speaker 1: was like, why do you keep eating all that damn
[5:20] Speaker 1: Burger King? And that's all he craved while I was pregnant.
[5:23] Speaker 2: He craved it.
[5:23] Speaker 1: Yes, he got really fat. He got really fat.
[5:26] Speaker 2: And it never occurred to you?
[5:28] Speaker 1: No, it never occurred to me because I already was
[5:29] Speaker 1: raising my sister kids. So it never occurred to me
[5:31] Speaker 1: that I was pregnant. And bam, I got pregnant. Within
[5:35] Speaker 1: two months, I gave birth to a 10-pound baby. Two
[5:38] Speaker 1: ounce boy.
[5:38] Speaker 3: And that's your favorite.
[5:39] Speaker 1: That is my favorite. Junebug is my favorite. Junebug can
[5:42] Speaker 1: do wrong, but no wrong.
[5:43] Speaker 3: Do you tell all your kids?
[5:44] Speaker 1: Yes. About what?
[5:46] Speaker 2: We wasn't going to ask you.
[5:48] Speaker 1: Is Junebug my favorite?
[5:49] Speaker 3: No, that part you tell them.
[5:50] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[5:51] Speaker 2: But do you tell all your kids about your life?
[5:54] Speaker 2: Like all the things that you've experienced and the challenges
[5:58] Speaker 2: they know?
[5:58] Speaker 1: My kids know that, me and my daughter know that
[6:01] Speaker 1: she's only 14 years apart. They all know I've been
[6:03] Speaker 1: to prison. They all know I've been shot. They all
[6:05] Speaker 1: know I've been molested. I don't hide anything. I'm not perfect.
[6:10] Speaker 1: And they would never be perfect either. So I've never
[6:13] Speaker 1: been the type of parent that hid what I've been through.
[6:16] Speaker 1: And I can't lie because my first set of kids
[6:18] Speaker 1: don't crack with me. You know, it was in their pampers,
[6:20] Speaker 1: their baby bag. You know, we all got shot at together.
[6:23] Speaker 1: So they remember some of that stuff.
[6:25] Speaker 2: How do they.
[6:28] Speaker 3: Remember that?
[6:30] Speaker 2: Or do they think of it as like a lessons
[6:32] Speaker 2: or what? Is it trauma for them? Is it lessons
[6:36] Speaker 2: for them? Is it like testimony?
[6:40] Speaker 1: I know my daughter remember a lot. I think it's
[6:42] Speaker 1: more of a, I don't know how she deals with it,
[6:44] Speaker 1: but she can tell you a lot of things that
[6:46] Speaker 1: she can remember. She was there when I got shot.
[6:49] Speaker 1: So she remember telling the police who shot me, and
[6:52] Speaker 1: I was telling her to shut the hell up. So
[6:54] Speaker 1: she was there through a lot of it.
[6:56] Speaker 4: Wow.
[6:57] Speaker 1: She was there through the abuse with her father. She
[6:59] Speaker 1: remember a lot of things.
[7:01] Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh. Do you ever, like... Are you ever
[7:04] Speaker 2: fascinated about how many fires you have walked through to
[7:08] Speaker 2: be here? Do you ever stop in your tracks? I mean,
[7:11] Speaker 2: I guess when you write books, sometimes it forces you
[7:13] Speaker 2: to look at your past.
[7:14] Speaker 1: I mean, it does. Sometimes I sit down and I
[7:18] Speaker 1: think about what I've been through in life, and I go, wow.
[7:21] Speaker 1: Even when I read my very first book, because this
[7:23] Speaker 1: is my second book, and reading this book, too, and
[7:25] Speaker 1: I'd be like, wow, this lady been through a lot.
[7:27] Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, bitch, that's you. That's you.
[7:29] Speaker 2: Yeah. It's funny because I wrote a book maybe like
[7:32] Speaker 2: eight years ago, and I always tell people, even if
[7:35] Speaker 2: you don't want to publish it, even if you're not famous,
[7:39] Speaker 2: write your memoir because it forces you to look at
[7:41] Speaker 2: the patterns in your life and the lessons in your life.
[7:44] Speaker 3: I don't know. For me, it did. Maybe not everybody.
[7:46] Speaker 3: I wonder for you if it did that.
[7:48] Speaker 2: It made me understand my life or look at my
[7:51] Speaker 2: life in a different way.
[7:52] Speaker 1: Writing the first book, it made me realize... The way
[7:57] Speaker 1: I was being raised, it wasn't happening to everybody. Because,
[8:01] Speaker 1: you know, when you poor and you're innocent and you black,
[8:04] Speaker 1: you think what's going on with you. It's the world.
[8:06] Speaker 1: Then when I started to tell my story, I was like, well,
[8:09] Speaker 1: your mama didn't do that to y'all. Your mama didn't
[8:10] Speaker 1: shoot at y'all. This didn't happen.
[8:12] Speaker 2: They was like, hell no.
[8:13] Speaker 1: And so, you know, writing all of that stuff, it
[8:16] Speaker 1: also made me realize it was so many other people
[8:18] Speaker 1: out there in the world that had gone through or
[8:21] Speaker 1: was going through what I went through, but just didn't
[8:23] Speaker 1: have a platform to say it or didn't have the
[8:25] Speaker 1: courage to say the quiet part out loud. And I
[8:29] Speaker 1: was a vehicle. I became a vehicle for a lot
[8:31] Speaker 1: of those people.
[8:33] Speaker 2: How did that even, like, I don't know, what are
[8:35] Speaker 2: the circumstances that even put you in that position?
[8:38] Speaker 3: Like, is it your parents' parents?
[8:41] Speaker 2: Parents, parents, parents.
[8:42] Speaker 1: They call it generation of curses.
[8:43] Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I wonder.
[8:44] Speaker 1: So it happens.
[8:46] Speaker 2: For your mother to be shooting at you, she done
[8:47] Speaker 2: went through some shit herself, no?
[8:49] Speaker 1: Oh, I'm quite sure she had went through some shit.
[8:52] Speaker 1: But she didn't shoot to kill. That was her belt.
[8:56] Speaker 1: Pop out, bitch. Turn the TV. We were used to
[9:03] Speaker 1: the gunshots. I mean, we knew she wasn't going to
[9:05] Speaker 1: try to hit us with the bullets. But it was
[9:07] Speaker 1: to say, come here. You know what I'm saying? You
[9:11] Speaker 1: probably would have been scared. Hey, you came to my
[9:13] Speaker 1: house and saw my mama's shoe. We like, oh, that's
[9:15] Speaker 1: what she do every day.
[9:16] Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely would have been scared.
[9:17] Speaker 1: Why we had more bullets than food, I don't know.
[9:20] Speaker 1: What was your mother?
[9:22] Speaker 2: Also, you know, growing up in New York, A gun
[9:26] Speaker 2: culture is a little different, too.
[9:28] Speaker 1: Yes. But in the South, everybody can have a gun.
[9:30] Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. In the South, everybody had a gun.
[9:32] Speaker 1: And it was a.
[9:32] Speaker 2: 22, too, so it wasn't here to kill you. A
[9:34] Speaker 2: little baby gun.
[9:35] Speaker 1: I mean, yeah.
[9:38] Speaker 2: A little baby gun. A little baby gun. A gun
[9:40] Speaker 2: is a gun. They both kill.
[9:42] Speaker 1: But she wasn't trying to shoot, kill us. She was
[9:44] Speaker 1: just trying to— she shot mostly in the air.
[9:46] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
[9:48] Speaker 1: Come light my cigarette. Come turn the TV.
[9:51] Speaker 2: Shut up, bitches.
[9:52] Speaker 1: You know, stuff like that.
[9:54] Speaker 2: She go shooting again.
[9:54] Speaker 1: And we thought it was funny until we got in
[9:57] Speaker 1: the real world and say, oh, y'all don't get shot?
[10:00] Speaker 4: At?
[10:00] Speaker 1: Oh my God.
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[10:06] Speaker 2: talk about on IRL is really about understanding the world
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[11:31] Speaker 3: What about the rest of your family?
[11:34] Speaker 2: They okay.
[11:36] Speaker 1: My sister smoked crack. I don't know what my other
[11:38] Speaker 1: two brothers are doing, and my other brother's married.
[11:42] Speaker 3: Are you still in touch?
[11:44] Speaker 1: I'm in touch, but I really don't. deal with my
[11:48] Speaker 1: family like that. One brother, I do. You know, I
[11:52] Speaker 1: still smoke crack. I ain't got time for no crack here.
[11:54] Speaker 1: You know, I'm no longer, she can't buy anything from
[11:56] Speaker 1: me anymore. So, I mean, get off crack. She call
[11:59] Speaker 1: me when she go to the hospital and I wish
[12:02] Speaker 1: her well and she get out and do the same thing.
[12:04] Speaker 2: It's a, abusive drug though isn't it isn't it like
[12:07] Speaker 2: really hard the hardest to get I.
[12:09] Speaker 1: Don't know I ain't never smoked it but if it's
[12:10] Speaker 1: anything like Chick-fil-a she's struggling Chick-fil-a got me in a
[12:16] Speaker 1: chokehold oh my god so I mean and I try
[12:23] Speaker 1: to always say I understand why my sister smoke crack
[12:26] Speaker 1: because I have a love for Chick-fil-A and I haven't
[12:28] Speaker 1: given it up after all these years. So I can
[12:31] Speaker 1: understand why my sister look like a zombie. Crack must
[12:34] Speaker 1: be good.
[12:34] Speaker 2: Oh, my God. What does your family make of all
[12:37] Speaker 2: your success? Is it like.
[12:39] Speaker 1: I don't ask them.
[12:40] Speaker 2: You don't really.
[12:40] Speaker 1: Well, you can't ask them at this point because they
[12:43] Speaker 1: all asking you for shit. So what you do is
[12:45] Speaker 1: you act like you don't see them calling. And they
[12:48] Speaker 1: don't really call me. They all message me through social media, Facebook.
[12:52] Speaker 1: So I just, I don't answer.
[12:54] Speaker 2: So you've built your own life and your own immediate family.
[12:57] Speaker 1: Yes. A husband, kids, grandkids. So, you know, I've been
[13:01] Speaker 1: I had to do that from the start because we
[13:03] Speaker 1: didn't grow up really tight as brothers and sisters because
[13:06] Speaker 1: of just how we was raised. So, you know, one
[13:08] Speaker 1: of the things I've always chased in my life was
[13:10] Speaker 1: just having a family, having somebody love me. And that's
[13:13] Speaker 1: what I talk about in the book.
[13:15] Speaker 2: And that's what I ended up getting.
[13:16] Speaker 3: And that is your American dream, right?
[13:18] Speaker 1: That is my American dream. Just happiness. It's not the
[13:21] Speaker 1: materialistic things. It's not the, you know, the things you
[13:24] Speaker 1: can buy. It's just happiness.
[13:26] Speaker 2: I'm always fascinated by people that can create what they
[13:29] Speaker 2: were not taught. People who can have a really long
[13:33] Speaker 2: a solid marriage, but not.
[13:36] Speaker 3: Grow up in a house. My mama didn't have a husband.
[13:38] Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. You were not taught how to
[13:41] Speaker 2: do that.
[13:42] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
[13:42] Speaker 1: No, but I did watch a lot of Leave it
[13:44] Speaker 1: to Bevo.
[13:44] Speaker 2: You did?
[13:45] Speaker 1: Yes.
[13:46] Speaker 2: And them folks was married.
[13:48] Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't know what's going on
[13:49] Speaker 1: over here in this black neighborhood, but I want this
[13:51] Speaker 1: shit these white people got. I'm going to do it
[13:53] Speaker 1: like that. Well, I just wanted my mama to say,
[13:56] Speaker 1: I was school today and have my lunch ready. Or
[13:59] Speaker 1: have my snack ready when I got off the school bus,
[14:01] Speaker 1: because that's what Beaver Mama had. And I never got it.
[14:04] Speaker 2: Oh.
[14:05] Speaker 3: But you made it now.
[14:06] Speaker 1: I made it.
[14:06] Speaker 3: Are you making lunches?
[14:08] Speaker 1: No. Because you don't even cook. I'm not a soccer mom.
[14:10] Speaker 3: But you pay somebody to make the lunches?
[14:11] Speaker 1: No. I say, go make your own shit. It's in
[14:13] Speaker 1: the refrigerator. Lisa's in the refrigerator.
[14:16] Speaker 3: Yeah, at least you got Lisa's food in there.
[14:18] Speaker 1: I've never been the type of mom that's just going
[14:20] Speaker 1: to run your lunch to school. If you leave your
[14:22] Speaker 1: lunch at the house, then you didn't want to eat.
[14:24] Speaker 4: Hmm.
[14:25] Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not going to interrupt my day because
[14:27] Speaker 1: you forget shit. You know you got to eat at school.
[14:30] Speaker 3: It's so tough, love.
[14:31] Speaker 1: Well, if you keep doing it, these kids are going
[14:33] Speaker 1: to use the heck out of you. You know, you
[14:35] Speaker 1: can't leave your instrument and say, I do it once
[14:38] Speaker 1: or twice, but I ain't going to be doing it
[14:40] Speaker 1: every day. If you want your stuff, don't leave it
[14:42] Speaker 1: at the house. Set it on the porch. Go out
[14:44] Speaker 1: there and put it by the bus stop to make
[14:45] Speaker 1: sure you don't forget it. But what you will not
[14:47] Speaker 1: do is ask me to be running, messing up my
[14:50] Speaker 1: day for you.
[14:50] Speaker 2: So are you never a pushover for your kids?
[14:53] Speaker 1: Pushover?
[14:54] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[14:54] Speaker 1: I think I give them a little too much, but no,
[14:56] Speaker 1: I'm not a pushover. I cuss my kids the fuck out.
[14:59] Speaker 2: And how are they doing?
[15:00] Speaker 1: Are they like, did you do well?
[15:02] Speaker 3: Are they like happy and flourishing?
[15:04] Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know if they flourishing. Well, they fat,
[15:06] Speaker 1: so I'm quite sure they flourishing. But they eating well? Well,
[15:10] Speaker 1: I have a daughter that went to college, but she
[15:12] Speaker 1: writes on the show. I have another daughter that used
[15:14] Speaker 1: to do makeup on my show, and she out there
[15:16] Speaker 1: doing her own shit. Now, I do have a lazy-ass son,
[15:19] Speaker 1: but I love him.
[15:20] Speaker 2: Is that your favorite?
[15:21] Speaker 1: Hell no. Oh, no.
[15:23] Speaker 2: Not the favorite.
[15:23] Speaker 1: He's the one that I kept. But my other son,
[15:26] Speaker 1: he works in TV and film, so they're all doing
[15:29] Speaker 1: pretty well.
[15:29] Speaker 2: That's amazing.
[15:30] Speaker 1: I'm not bailing nobody out of jail. Nobody's getting in trouble.
[15:33] Speaker 2: That's amazing.
[15:35] Speaker 1: Yeah, having a mama like me, but I wasn't going
[15:37] Speaker 1: to let them fail. Yeah. That's why I can say
[15:40] Speaker 1: I stepped in a little too much and gave them
[15:43] Speaker 1: a little too much. Like, they should have at least
[15:46] Speaker 1: went hungry once a month. I always provide it.
[15:53] Speaker 2: So if you are not the softie, is your husband
[15:55] Speaker 2: the softie?
[15:56] Speaker 1: Yes, I would say my husband don't really curse like
[15:59] Speaker 1: I do. No, you know, I'll cuss you the fuck out.
[16:02] Speaker 3: Your children do.
[16:03] Speaker 1: I'm sorry, can I cuss on this podcast?
[16:04] Speaker 3: Absolutely.
[16:05] Speaker 1: Okay, so I will cuss you the fuck out. You know,
[16:07] Speaker 1: my husband say stuff I think like a parent should say.
[16:12] Speaker 1: I don't see it like that. I'll give you an example.
[16:14] Speaker 1: There's a lot of girls in the house. And he'd
[16:15] Speaker 1: be like, you know, you should go freshen up. How
[16:18] Speaker 1: would you tell your kids to go freshen up?
[16:20] Speaker 3: Go get in the shower?
[16:21] Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, I smell your pussy and you
[16:23] Speaker 1: need to wash it because you don't smell my pussy.
[16:26] Speaker 1: I know it's a little harsh, but it's real, reality. So,
[16:30] Speaker 1: you know, he's like, don't say that to them. It's
[16:33] Speaker 1: not a pussy. It's a pussy. It's got hair in
[16:35] Speaker 1: its bleed. That's not a snack. That's not a jack-in-the-box.
[16:39] Speaker 1: Bears don't fuck no bees. Go wash your pussy stain.
[16:42] Speaker 1: And so he said, I'm a little too hard.
[16:46] Speaker 2: But something worked for him. He knew who you were
[16:48] Speaker 2: when he married you. Yes.
[16:50] Speaker 3: So he must have somewhat liked it in some way.
[16:53] Speaker 1: Yes. I'm totally opposite of him. But I think I
[16:56] Speaker 1: was very strong like his mama. But his mama was
[16:59] Speaker 1: a super Christian. And we bumped a lot of heads.
[17:03] Speaker 1: But I can say me and his mama was probably
[17:04] Speaker 1: the same person. She was more of a Jesus person
[17:07] Speaker 1: and I was more of the street person. But we
[17:09] Speaker 1: had the same personality.
[17:11] Speaker 4: Wow.
[17:12] Speaker 1: So he married someone that was like his mom? Yes,
[17:15] Speaker 1: who would say what she wanted to say. Excuse me,
[17:17] Speaker 1: I'm burping. I'm fat. And I can't control how shit
[17:20] Speaker 1: come out of me these days. I just heard.
[17:24] Speaker 2: Make yourself at home, God. Make yourself at home.
[17:27] Speaker 1: I ain't got no other choice. Sometimes I drink shit
[17:32] Speaker 1: and it just come out. That's part of getting.
[17:35] Speaker 2: Old, child.
[17:36] Speaker 1: You can't control shit.
[17:38] Speaker 2: How do you, because I've heard you talk about menopause
[17:41] Speaker 2: and things like that.
[17:41] Speaker 1: Oh my God, it's the worst.
[17:43] Speaker 3: How is this season going for you?
[17:45] Speaker 1: Drive a John.
[17:46] Speaker 2: Oh no.
[17:49] Speaker 1: But I tell women, there's nothing wrong with menopause. It's
[17:51] Speaker 1: not like men's that we can't, you know, you can
[17:55] Speaker 1: touch us. We just, I look at vagina like, A
[17:59] Speaker 1: man having a soft penis. We all going through some
[18:02] Speaker 1: shit and a pill going to help all of us.
[18:03] Speaker 3: A pill.
[18:04] Speaker 1: Yeah, a pill. So I'm on a pill and I'm
[18:06] Speaker 1: getting a lot better. But it was very painful.
[18:09] Speaker 2: Were you like moody and did you get hot flashes
[18:11] Speaker 2: and all that stuff too?
[18:12] Speaker 1: I don't really get hot flashes. I had a lot
[18:14] Speaker 1: of vagina pain.
[18:15] Speaker 2: Oh, no.
[18:16] Speaker 1: I didn't get that pain. It was the lining. My
[18:19] Speaker 1: lining was drying out. So I had to go get
[18:22] Speaker 1: some new tires.
[18:23] Speaker 2: And so.
[18:24] Speaker 3: Now with the tires working.
[18:26] Speaker 2: The tires working good now. Yeah, they finally... You can
[18:29] Speaker 2: slide across it now.
[18:32] Speaker 1: It has gotten a lot better. But it was a
[18:35] Speaker 1: lot of pain.
[18:36] Speaker 2: I'm so happy for you and happy for your husband.
[18:40] Speaker 1: I've been married 33 years. It's just every now and then.
[18:42] Speaker 1: But I'm happy for him, too. I've been fucking since
[18:46] Speaker 1: I was in elementary school. I don't want no dick.
[18:48] Speaker 1: I want back teeth and money.
[18:53] Speaker 3: But don't the men always want it or no?
[18:55] Speaker 1: I think me and my husband both got men apart.
[18:58] Speaker 1: We don't have the house. We just go eat and
[19:00] Speaker 1: watch TV. That's sick. When you get a certain age,
[19:03] Speaker 1: we're in separate bedrooms now.
[19:05] Speaker 2: I heard you say that you're in separate bedrooms now.
[19:07] Speaker 2: It is the most best.
[19:08] Speaker 1: It's the most wonderful thing ever. And so many women
[19:11] Speaker 1: be out there talking shit. Ah, that ain't no marriage.
[19:14] Speaker 1: You go ahead on and bleed with God. You know,
[19:16] Speaker 1: do your godly thing. This is working for me, bitch.
[19:19] Speaker 1: You know, stop coming in my inbox telling me I
[19:22] Speaker 1: don't want my husband because I'm in a separate bedroom.
[19:25] Speaker 1: I'm top heavy. I'm a 40H and sometimes a 42H
[19:29] Speaker 1: whenever I gain a little weight. My titty need their
[19:31] Speaker 1: own pillow. And we don't want nobody laying next to us.
[19:35] Speaker 1: So leave me the hell alone. My husband in his room,
[19:37] Speaker 1: I'm in my room. When we want to do something,
[19:39] Speaker 1: we just text each other.
[19:41] Speaker 2: When we playing it out.
[19:42] Speaker 1: What you doing? Yeah. And we might fall asleep in
[19:45] Speaker 1: the middle of the text. Shit. I don't want no sex.
[19:49] Speaker 1: I'm old. You are not that old. I'm 54. I'm
[19:53] Speaker 1: not that old, but my vagina been working since elementary school.
[19:57] Speaker 2: Got it.
[19:57] Speaker 1: You know, allowing, saying yes and saying no. So, you know,
[20:03] Speaker 1: it's been a long time since. Motherfucker been touching me
[20:06] Speaker 1: for a long time.
[20:06] Speaker 2: I don't need no sex.
[20:07] Speaker 1: I need some money.
[20:08] Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
[20:10] Speaker 1: I'm sorry. That was a little child molestation joke right there, cameraman.
[20:14] Speaker 1: That is.
[20:17] Speaker 2: It takes a special talent to be able to make
[20:19] Speaker 2: a child molestation joke.
[20:21] Speaker 1: I do it all the time. I know.
[20:22] Speaker 2: I'm just saying. It's not the norm.
[20:25] Speaker 1: What you gonna cry about it for? People ask me, well,
[20:33] Speaker 1: my husband mostly asks me, why do you talk about that?
[20:35] Speaker 1: Because you got to say the quiet part out loud.
[20:37] Speaker 1: And then I try to tell people, you know, there's
[20:39] Speaker 1: nothing you can do to change your past. But when
[20:42] Speaker 1: you can laugh at what you've been through, then you
[20:44] Speaker 1: have control of that situation. When you hold stuff in,
[20:47] Speaker 1: that stuff will eat you alive. It will run you crazy.
[20:51] Speaker 1: It will create a cancer in your body. So I've
[20:54] Speaker 1: just always been the type of person, I say the
[20:57] Speaker 1: quiet part out loud. And I'm not ashamed of anything
[21:00] Speaker 1: that I've been through in life. You know, stop worrying
[21:03] Speaker 1: about what people think about you and say what you've
[21:05] Speaker 1: been through out loud. There's nothing wrong to say when
[21:08] Speaker 1: you're wrong. Like I tell this bit now about I
[21:11] Speaker 1: was a horrible mom, but I was 14 years old.
[21:14] Speaker 1: I should have been a horrible mom.
[21:15] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[21:16] Speaker 1: And I take people through my journey of, you know,
[21:18] Speaker 1: how when I realized I was a bad mom. When
[21:21] Speaker 1: you can say things that happen to you and it
[21:23] Speaker 1: allow you to heal because you don't want to hold
[21:26] Speaker 1: all this stuff in there, create a cancer in your body.
[21:28] Speaker 1: It will run you crazy.
[21:29] Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I get that. So tell people what you've
[21:31] Speaker 2: been through.
[21:32] Speaker 1: And you will be so surprised of how many people
[21:35] Speaker 1: that can relate to what you've been through. And it
[21:38] Speaker 1: also helps other people to say the quiet part out loud.
[21:41] Speaker 3: So comedy, like, healed you.
[21:44] Speaker 2: Yes.
[21:44] Speaker 1: People always say, you need therapy.
[21:45] Speaker 2: No, I don't.
[21:46] Speaker 1: I just need you to buy two drinks and a ticket.
[21:49] Speaker 1: And we're going to sit in that bitch in the
[21:50] Speaker 1: hill together.
[21:51] Speaker 3: Let me get this out.
[21:52] Speaker 1: Yes. I be talking about it. I don't count on crazy.
[21:54] Speaker 2: But you know you do hear stories of a lot
[21:56] Speaker 2: of comedians that use jokes. to mask pain and then
[22:00] Speaker 2: they don't ever deal with the pain. And that's not good.
[22:03] Speaker 2: That's not a healthy way. But you seem to like
[22:06] Speaker 2: do the jokes.
[22:07] Speaker 3: And also move past the pain. Or is the pain
[22:09] Speaker 3: still there?
[22:09] Speaker 1: The pain is always going to be there. But what
[22:12] Speaker 1: I've learned in life is to forgive the people who
[22:14] Speaker 1: hurt me. Because when you can forgive, when I forgave,
[22:18] Speaker 1: I was able to start to live. When you hate
[22:21] Speaker 1: something or somebody that hate will control you. I've said
[22:24] Speaker 1: that a thousand times. When you hate something or somebody,
[22:28] Speaker 1: that hate will control you.
[22:29] Speaker 2: So to keep the people.
[22:31] Speaker 1: That hurt me in the past from controlling me, I've
[22:34] Speaker 1: forgiven them. And I've learned to live and move on.
[22:38] Speaker 2: It's bigger than me.
[22:39] Speaker 1: So when it's bigger than you, why are you trying
[22:40] Speaker 1: to deal with it? You let God deal with it.
[22:43] Speaker 1: My baby daddy who got me pregnant, he's 22, and
[22:46] Speaker 1: I was 12 years old when I met him. That
[22:48] Speaker 1: nigga live in a rooming house now. He's hard back.
[22:51] Speaker 1: God fucking him up. God is kicking his ass, keeping
[22:55] Speaker 1: him alive one pump at a time.
[22:57] Speaker 2: And look at me.
[22:59] Speaker 1: At one point, I was putting my billboards all by
[23:01] Speaker 1: his jaw. Now he on Social Security. Sometimes you just
[23:06] Speaker 1: got to let God get people back. Yeah. I mean,
[23:08] Speaker 1: he beat me. He shot me. He treated me wrong.
[23:11] Speaker 1: I thought he was the first love of my life.
[23:14] Speaker 1: Sometimes you just got to forgive him and move on
[23:16] Speaker 1: and let God deal with him. And he will. Yeah.
[23:21] Speaker 2: That's really like an unbelievable journey that you've been through.
[23:24] Speaker 2: That you were from a relationship like that to being
[23:26] Speaker 2: in a marriage.
[23:28] Speaker 1: 33 years.
[23:28] Speaker 3: For 33 years. And a healthy marriage.
[23:31] Speaker 1: You're healthy, man. Well, yeah, we fat as hell.
[23:33] Speaker 3: I don't mean like that. I mean, y'all, y'all.
[23:41] Speaker 2: I love him.
[23:41] Speaker 1: You do. I wouldn't trade him for the world. That
[23:44] Speaker 1: man ain't never gave me no problem.
[23:46] Speaker 2: So, but you know, there always has to be like
[23:47] Speaker 2: a pivot, right?
[23:48] Speaker 3: Like, so if you were, if you were in a
[23:49] Speaker 3: bad situation.
[23:51] Speaker 2: Something has to either change in you or you making
[23:53] Speaker 2: different decisions or did you just leave that to God
[23:55] Speaker 2: to put somebody else different in your life? Like, how
[23:57] Speaker 2: did you make better decisions for yourself?
[24:00] Speaker 1: Well, I met a man that helped me make better decisions.
[24:03] Speaker 3: Oh, so you credit your husband for that?
[24:04] Speaker 1: Yes. He made, he sat me down. He said, Hey,
[24:07] Speaker 1: You know, you out here writing people checks. Do you
[24:09] Speaker 1: think that's the right thing to do? I'm like, I
[24:10] Speaker 1: don't know them people. Then he said, well, do you
[24:12] Speaker 1: want somebody to do that to you? Well, what if
[24:14] Speaker 1: you go to jail? What's going to happen to your kids?
[24:18] Speaker 1: I never thought of it like that. I was just
[24:20] Speaker 1: out there hustling. And then I thought about it. I said,
[24:22] Speaker 1: if I do go to jail, what's going to happen
[24:24] Speaker 1: to my kids? It never occurred to you? No, I
[24:26] Speaker 1: was 12, 13, 14. I mean, I had that baby
[24:29] Speaker 1: at 14. I'm trying to live. You know, I'm dropping
[24:32] Speaker 1: out of school in eighth grade. How can you think
[24:35] Speaker 1: about going to jail? You're thinking about surviving. How am
[24:37] Speaker 1: I going to get this baby some pamphlets? And then
[24:39] Speaker 1: he wasn't no good after he got me pregnant. You know,
[24:42] Speaker 1: he was already married. He was beating on me. All
[24:44] Speaker 1: kind of crazy shit. So I'm there. I'm out here 14,
[24:48] Speaker 1: 15 year old with my second child by him.
[24:50] Speaker 2: I'm trying to live. I ain't thinking about no damn jail.
[24:55] Speaker 2: It's an amazing testimony. What about your kids?
[24:58] Speaker 3: How do they, his kids too, how do they I
[25:02] Speaker 3: don't know. Have they forgiven him?
[25:04] Speaker 1: Well, they don't really fool with him because my husband
[25:07] Speaker 1: raised him. I met him when my kids was really young.
[25:11] Speaker 1: So we're 33 years in now. My son is 38.
[25:16] Speaker 1: So that's the only daddy he's known. But I never
[25:20] Speaker 1: spoke bad about their daddy to them. You know, if
[25:25] Speaker 1: he wanted a life with him, he had an opportunity.
[25:27] Speaker 1: He didn't want a life with him. So my husband
[25:29] Speaker 1: just stepped in and became the daddy that they needed.
[25:32] Speaker 1: But my God, talk about a course correction.
[25:34] Speaker 2: You made like a, you did a whole life pivot.
[25:38] Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, is getting your heart broken hurts
[25:42] Speaker 1: like a motherfucker. And the pain I felt after dealing
[25:46] Speaker 1: with my first baby daddy, I just, I mean, he
[25:49] Speaker 1: was the first person in my life to ever say
[25:51] Speaker 1: I love you. And I just felt like, I felt
[25:53] Speaker 1: like butter.
[25:54] Speaker 3: And you were 12.
[25:55] Speaker 1: I was 12. And he was 22. And so when
[25:58] Speaker 1: he started to beat on me and do me wrong,
[26:00] Speaker 1: I couldn't understand all of that. So, you know, I
[26:02] Speaker 1: thought no matter what, I'm going to love this man unconditionally.
[26:06] Speaker 1: And it just, it hurt. You know, getting your heart
[26:09] Speaker 1: broken by somebody who you thought loved you. And my
[26:13] Speaker 1: mama had already let me down. I just said, I
[26:16] Speaker 1: don't know about y'all, but I don't need a second
[26:18] Speaker 1: dose of this bullshit. I said, I don't know how
[26:21] Speaker 1: you bitches get in an ideal relationship. Talk about you
[26:24] Speaker 1: love somebody and all. I said, God, that's okay. I
[26:27] Speaker 1: keep my asshole to myself. I mean, I keep my
[26:28] Speaker 1: vagina to myself.
[26:32] Speaker 2: And then how long was it between then and when
[26:34] Speaker 2: you met your husband?
[26:35] Speaker 1: About a year.
[26:36] Speaker 4: Really?
[26:36] Speaker 2: About a year. You wasted no time.
[26:39] Speaker 1: Well, I met my husband and I was like, well,
[26:41] Speaker 1: I'm hiring for baby daddy and he could read. He
[26:44] Speaker 1: didn't look like he hit bitches in their eye on Friday.
[26:47] Speaker 1: He just looked like a good old wholesome man. He
[26:48] Speaker 1: came from a good Christian family. Wasn't really my type,
[26:51] Speaker 1: but I said, I'm going to go for this one.
[26:53] Speaker 2: I'm going to change my life.
[26:55] Speaker 1: Well, I thought I was going to get my kids
[26:56] Speaker 1: a baby, a daddy. That's all I needed was a
[26:58] Speaker 1: good daddy.
[26:59] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[26:59] Speaker 1: He had just got out of the military and I,
[27:01] Speaker 1: you know, he liked chicken wings.
[27:03] Speaker 2: I did too.
[27:03] Speaker 1: And we shared some and we've been together ever since.
[27:06] Speaker 2: Amazing.
[27:07] Speaker 3: And his mama, how does mother feel about all this?
[27:09] Speaker 1: Oh, she was a bitch. Yeah, she was a Christian bitch.
[27:15] Speaker 1: He going to get mad when he see this podcast.
[27:17] Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck. I love you, baby.
[27:19] Speaker 1: She gave me hell. She called me a welfare queen.
[27:22] Speaker 1: Somebody had all them children. You know, I was a
[27:25] Speaker 1: welfare queen. I was getting all kinds of checks and shit.
[27:29] Speaker 1: And writing checks. I was in the streets. And, you know,
[27:31] Speaker 1: she went to church every day with her little Jane
[27:32] Speaker 1: Brown wig on. Praise the Lord. And I was doing
[27:35] Speaker 1: the opposite. And she just said she never thought I
[27:38] Speaker 1: was good enough for him. But I'm like, mind your
[27:41] Speaker 1: fucking business. He like me.
[27:45] Speaker 2: And so I cussed out a few times.
[27:48] Speaker 3: What do you think he liked about you?
[27:52] Speaker 1: I was a real one. I think he liked how
[27:55] Speaker 1: strong-minded I was, I guess. You know, I told all
[27:59] Speaker 1: his family, fuck off. I told everybody, fuck off.
[28:01] Speaker 2: He was like, yeah, I like her.
[28:05] Speaker 1: I mean, I was real, you know, like at the
[28:07] Speaker 1: time his twin was on drugs and I was like,
[28:10] Speaker 1: fuck him. Don't be letting him come up with how
[28:11] Speaker 1: he niggas smoke crack. He's like, hold on there, my brother.
[28:13] Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck.
[28:14] Speaker 1: My sister smoke crack too. And so I think he
[28:17] Speaker 1: really liked that about me. I was honest.
[28:20] Speaker 2: What do you credit, I'm looking at Miss American Dream.
[28:24] Speaker 2: What do you credit like one of your biggest decisions or...
[28:28] Speaker 2: Or just awakenings that shifted your life? Like, are there
[28:32] Speaker 2: moments that you're like, okay, I'm going to change this
[28:36] Speaker 2: or I'm going to do differently here? Like what?
[28:38] Speaker 1: I think for me, it was learning about finance. Nobody,
[28:41] Speaker 1: and that's one of the things they don't teach in,
[28:43] Speaker 1: especially in public black schools. My kids went to all
[28:47] Speaker 1: white school in Indianapolis and they taught that. But finances,
[28:51] Speaker 1: interest rate, just talking about, you know, how to live,
[28:53] Speaker 1: how to handle credit. I didn't know anything about credit
[28:55] Speaker 1: because nobody around me had credit. And so when I
[28:58] Speaker 1: met my husband, he had a credit card. You know,
[29:00] Speaker 1: back in the day, I'm from the hood. Everybody had
[29:02] Speaker 1: a rush card, a baby fat card. And, you know,
[29:05] Speaker 1: you go, you put that little money on there, act
[29:07] Speaker 1: like you spending, you spending your own fucking money.
[29:09] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[29:10] Speaker 2: Ain't no interest rate.
[29:10] Speaker 1: You just pay them $ 10 and play like you had
[29:12] Speaker 1: a card.
[29:13] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[29:13] Speaker 1: And so when I met my husband, he taught me
[29:16] Speaker 1: a lot about finance, interest rate, you know, banking account,
[29:21] Speaker 1: all of that, you know, all that.
[29:22] Speaker 2: I'm a Negro.
[29:23] Speaker 1: I kept my money in my teeter or in my drawer.
[29:27] Speaker 1: So that changed your life. That did change my life.
[29:29] Speaker 2: It did.
[29:30] Speaker 1: You know, buying cars, buying houses, all of those things.
[29:34] Speaker 3: And then the money. Did you learn that before the
[29:36] Speaker 3: money started coming or at.
[29:37] Speaker 2: The same time?
[29:37] Speaker 1: Yeah, I learned that before the money. As I was
[29:39] Speaker 1: getting out of selling jewelry. drugs and forging checks, you know,
[29:41] Speaker 1: he was teaching me that stuff. Because I went through
[29:43] Speaker 1: a lot of money before I became Miss Patty. You know,
[29:47] Speaker 1: this ain't no new rodeo to me. The only difference
[29:49] Speaker 1: there is I pay taxes. You know, other things. I
[29:52] Speaker 1: was hiding money. I was a drug dealer. I had
[29:54] Speaker 1: a lot of money.
[29:55] Speaker 2: So you were a successful drug dealer.
[29:58] Speaker 1: Are we successful? Well, I guess if you're still alive,
[30:01] Speaker 1: you're successful.
[30:02] Speaker 3: Or if we're talking about financially.
[30:05] Speaker 1: Well, I made a lot of money selling drugs.
[30:07] Speaker 2: I did.
[30:07] Speaker 1: I did. Very early on. I started when I was 16.
[30:12] Speaker 3: And you stopped when?
[30:13] Speaker 1: When I met my husband. I was 18, 19. Yeah.
[30:18] Speaker 3: And he knew that's what you were doing.
[30:19] Speaker 1: Yeah, I was forging checks too. I was forging checks.
[30:22] Speaker 1: I was really good at that because it was back
[30:25] Speaker 1: when you could write it in cursive. People don't even
[30:27] Speaker 1: know how to write it in cursive anymore. They don't
[30:28] Speaker 1: even teach that to the kids in school.
[30:30] Speaker 2: No, they don't. It's crazy.
[30:31] Speaker 1: They don't. I was talking to a young lady the
[30:33] Speaker 1: other day and I said, well, take my checking number
[30:35] Speaker 1: to pay something for yourself. And she said, Well, what's
[30:38] Speaker 1: a routing number? I said, y'all motherfuckers ain't going to
[30:40] Speaker 1: make it. Y'all ain't going to make it. You don't
[30:43] Speaker 1: know a routing number? Account number?
[30:45] Speaker 3: They know a cash app and an Apple Pay.
[30:47] Speaker 1: That's all they know.
[30:49] Speaker 3: That's all they know. That's all they know how to do.
[30:51] Speaker 1: Hey, guys.
[30:52] Speaker 2: This episode of IRL is brought to you by Monopoly
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[31:55] Speaker 2: See rules for prize details. Monopoly is a registered trademark
[31:59] Speaker 2: of Hasbro. All right, so what lessons are we going
[32:02] Speaker 2: to learn in this book right here?
[32:05] Speaker 1: A lot of lessons. You know, from finances to the
[32:08] Speaker 1: mistakes I made with trying to buy a house, trying
[32:10] Speaker 1: to You know, trying to show other, trying to show out.
[32:14] Speaker 1: You know, everybody wanted a house at a time. And
[32:16] Speaker 1: I remember buying a house and then I said, well,
[32:18] Speaker 1: I want one bigger because I want to shit these
[32:20] Speaker 1: bitches down. You know, you know how you get. So
[32:24] Speaker 1: I just, you know, the mistakes I made and I
[32:26] Speaker 1: hope people learn that. What is your American dream? You know,
[32:30] Speaker 1: all that shit I've been through in life. I realize
[32:34] Speaker 1: my American dream is just happiness. You can't buy what
[32:37] Speaker 1: I have now. I walk in the house and I
[32:40] Speaker 1: see my family. I take off my wig and I
[32:42] Speaker 1: turn into a real nigga and everybody.
[32:43] Speaker 2: Still love me.
[32:45] Speaker 4: Aww.
[32:46] Speaker 2: What is better than that?
[32:48] Speaker 1: Nothing is better than that. And I had to learn that.
[32:51] Speaker 1: Because when you out here in this world and you
[32:52] Speaker 1: chasing the things that they say you should have, Or
[32:56] Speaker 1: you see what other people have and you won't. It's
[32:59] Speaker 1: easy for you to get caught up. And so I
[33:01] Speaker 1: had to take a step back and say, what do
[33:03] Speaker 1: I really want? And I went back to my childhood
[33:06] Speaker 1: and remember, all I ever wanted was to be loved.
[33:09] Speaker 1: All I ever wanted was a family. And I realized
[33:13] Speaker 1: I had it. And I said, OK, I got my
[33:17] Speaker 1: American dream.
[33:18] Speaker 3: And just like that, happy?
[33:20] Speaker 1: I've been happy, but I just didn't, I was trying
[33:22] Speaker 1: to fulfill, I was too busy trying to fulfill my
[33:25] Speaker 1: life with materialistic things. You know, the houses, the cars,
[33:28] Speaker 1: the purses, the trips.
[33:29] Speaker 2: Or whatever.
[33:30] Speaker 1: And, you know, trying to, you know, American Dream says
[33:33] Speaker 1: a house, a picket fence, white picket fence, and your family. No,
[33:37] Speaker 1: that's dead.
[33:38] Speaker 3: How happy are you on a scale of one to ten?
[33:41] Speaker 1: I'm a ten. Now, because not everybody in the family,
[33:44] Speaker 1: but I'm a ten.
[33:45] Speaker 2: Every day?
[33:45] Speaker 1: Do I cuss them out every day?
[33:47] Speaker 3: No, are you happy on a ten every day?
[33:49] Speaker 1: Don't shit get to me.
[33:51] Speaker 2: I think so. Wow. I'm happy. That is a big thing.
[33:56] Speaker 1: I don't know a day when I'm not happy. I
[34:00] Speaker 1: might be fussing about some shit, but I'm happy.
[34:03] Speaker 3: That's amazing.
[34:04] Speaker 1: I'm not worried about nothing. I don't need nothing. I
[34:07] Speaker 1: don't need nobody.
[34:09] Speaker 2: I'm good. I heard you tell Sarah that, Sarah Jakes,
[34:13] Speaker 2: that you told God he could give those blessings to
[34:17] Speaker 2: somebody else.
[34:17] Speaker 4: Yes.
[34:18] Speaker 1: He's been so good to me.
[34:19] Speaker 3: I've never heard. My whole life, I don't think I've
[34:22] Speaker 3: ever heard somebody say that.
[34:24] Speaker 1: I know a lot of people were shocked. But I
[34:25] Speaker 1: tell God all the time, I say, you've been so good.
[34:27] Speaker 1: You could have never told me I was going to
[34:28] Speaker 1: live like this legally 20-something years ago. And people are like,
[34:32] Speaker 1: she can't be that happy. I'm happy. I have a
[34:35] Speaker 1: man at home that loves me. I have kids at
[34:37] Speaker 1: home that loves me. I have any and everything I
[34:40] Speaker 1: need at that house.
[34:40] Speaker 2: I don't need shit.
[34:42] Speaker 1: I don't need nothing. Honestly, I go down and I
[34:46] Speaker 1: buy TikToks. Shit off TikTok. Sometimes I just buy shit
[34:50] Speaker 1: from black people because they black. You're just happy spending money,
[34:57] Speaker 1: supporting people. Yeah, just supporting people. You know, I go
[34:59] Speaker 1: to GoFundMe and I just give money sometimes. I never
[35:02] Speaker 1: say who I am. You know them popcorn them kids
[35:05] Speaker 1: be selling? I go right on their website and I
[35:08] Speaker 1: don't need no more of them fucking popcorn. But I
[35:10] Speaker 1: go right on there and look for them little black
[35:11] Speaker 1: kids and bam, bam, just buy shit. I'm happy. And
[35:15] Speaker 1: I hope everybody can reach some type of level of
[35:18] Speaker 1: happiness in their life.
[35:20] Speaker 3: People chase that their whole life.
[35:22] Speaker 1: And sometimes it's right in your damn face. If you
[35:24] Speaker 1: stop and pay attention, you got it. You got it.
[35:28] Speaker 1: But you don't take time to really just take a
[35:31] Speaker 1: deep breath and set in it. Because if you're not
[35:36] Speaker 1: realizing it, you're too busy watching what people say happiness
[35:40] Speaker 1: should be. Everybody happening is different. You know, I can't
[35:45] Speaker 1: talk for other people who've been married for 30-something years.
[35:47] Speaker 1: Some people still sleep in the same bed and say
[35:50] Speaker 1: they're happy. I wasn't happy sleeping in the bed with
[35:52] Speaker 1: my husband. He got gas and he snowed real loud.
[35:55] Speaker 1: And I'm scared to sleep with the lights out. I
[35:58] Speaker 1: like a lamp on. My husband can't sleep with a
[36:00] Speaker 1: lamp on. I said, so we need our own bedrooms
[36:02] Speaker 1: because we got problems here. But, you know, people tell
[36:06] Speaker 1: me all the time, you sure you happy? I'm happy.
[36:10] Speaker 1: I don't need shit. I don't need nothing. And I
[36:14] Speaker 1: never thought I would get to this point and say,
[36:16] Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so fucking bored. I'm redoing my house.
[36:21] Speaker 2: Happy redoing your house.
[36:22] Speaker 1: I'm happy redoing it. I built it three years ago.
[36:25] Speaker 2: So would you say like a part of that key, though,
[36:28] Speaker 2: is like that you identified, you identified the thing. that
[36:33] Speaker 2: you named as what would make me happy, right?
[36:36] Speaker 3: Because sometimes we don't even do that.
[36:37] Speaker 2: Like you said, you could have it already, but you're
[36:39] Speaker 2: not even self-aware enough to know what is the end.
[36:44] Speaker 3: Goal for you here. So you identified, okay, all I
[36:46] Speaker 3: ever wanted was to be loved as a kid.
[36:48] Speaker 1: All I ever wanted to be loved. And all I
[36:49] Speaker 1: ever wanted was a family.
[36:51] Speaker 2: So do you think that that's the beginning? Like identifying
[36:54] Speaker 2: what is the thing that makes you happy? It was
[36:55] Speaker 2: for me. It was for me. And then looking around
[36:57] Speaker 2: and realizing, oh shit, I already have that. I already
[37:00] Speaker 2: have it. Yeah.
[37:00] Speaker 1: You know, when I go on vacation, I take like
[37:03] Speaker 1: 20-something people. I'm like, why you bring all these motherfucking
[37:05] Speaker 1: people to you? Because I want to give them that experience.
[37:09] Speaker 1: And I never participate in anything I do on vacation.
[37:11] Speaker 1: I just sit back and watch other people do it.
[37:13] Speaker 1: And things like that really makes me happy.
[37:15] Speaker 4: Right.
[37:16] Speaker 1: To watch my kids get to do things that I
[37:18] Speaker 1: never in my life got to do. We went to
[37:20] Speaker 1: Japan this year. And we just ran through the streets
[37:23] Speaker 1: of Japan like black folks. And we ate in them
[37:26] Speaker 1: small restaurants. And we had a ball.
[37:28] Speaker 2: I love Japan. Yes, it's beautiful.
[37:31] Speaker 1: It's the food is good. The people is good. And,
[37:34] Speaker 1: you know, just seeing my kids on that plane, getting
[37:36] Speaker 1: that experience, that made me happy. And I take them
[37:40] Speaker 1: to Disney. I take them wherever. They say, why don't
[37:42] Speaker 1: you ever get on the roller coaster? When I see
[37:45] Speaker 1: you smiling and you're happy, I'm happy.
[37:47] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[37:49] Speaker 4: Wow.
[37:49] Speaker 1: So just spending time with my family, doing the things
[37:52] Speaker 1: that I love to do, I mean, makes me happy.
[37:55] Speaker 1: You know, I go out here and I tell these
[37:56] Speaker 1: jokes so I can, hopefully, I can make other people
[37:58] Speaker 1: smile and make them happy. But when I walk in
[38:01] Speaker 1: that house and I pull off this wig, baby, it's
[38:04] Speaker 1: on and popping. I tell my son, boy, unbuckle my bra.
[38:09] Speaker 1: I drop that bitch in the floor, them kids grab
[38:11] Speaker 1: it and take it to the dirty clothes. It fill
[38:13] Speaker 1: up the whole hamper. But I'm happy.
[38:18] Speaker 2: You're doing better than most people then.
[38:19] Speaker 3: There's a lot of unhappy people in the world.
[38:22] Speaker 1: It is. And you know, I didn't realize how many
[38:25] Speaker 1: people in this business that you meet that's like with
[38:28] Speaker 1: low self-esteem and just not happy. I'm like, well, God, damn.
[38:32] Speaker 2: Does that really surprise you in the entertainment world that
[38:35] Speaker 2: people be unhappy?
[38:37] Speaker 1: Because if you're on the outside looking in, you hear
[38:40] Speaker 1: people say, I want a relationship like this person. I
[38:42] Speaker 1: want a relationship. But you don't know what's going on
[38:44] Speaker 1: in that fucking house. Then when I got into this bed,
[38:47] Speaker 1: I'm like, you got low self-esteem. You such and such.
[38:51] Speaker 1: That was shocking to me.
[38:52] Speaker 4: Wow.
[38:53] Speaker 2: I was like, how the fuck do this person have
[38:55] Speaker 2: low self-esteem?
[38:56] Speaker 1: The world loves them.
[38:59] Speaker 3: And you don't have that problem.
[39:01] Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck what people think about me.
[39:03] Speaker 2: What do you think about yourself? I'm fat and I'm
[39:06] Speaker 2: going to eat when I leave here. No, but you
[39:10] Speaker 2: got to be proud of yourself. I mean, I am
[39:12] Speaker 2: proud of myself.
[39:12] Speaker 1: I tell people all the time, when you can walk
[39:14] Speaker 1: in the shoes that I've walked in, then you understand
[39:18] Speaker 1: what I'm saying, why I say the things I say.
[39:20] Speaker 1: When people come on my page talking that shit, I say,
[39:22] Speaker 1: you can politely kiss my ass from the back, from
[39:25] Speaker 1: the front, because it'll go that long sometime. So I don't,
[39:29] Speaker 1: you know, my assistants always say, stay out the comments.
[39:32] Speaker 1: Those comments don't bother me no more. I don't care
[39:35] Speaker 1: what people think about me. You know why? Because I
[39:37] Speaker 1: learned to love myself. So it ain't shit you can
[39:40] Speaker 1: say about me that I have not already said about myself.
[39:44] Speaker 2: I'm confident.
[39:45] Speaker 1: I know who I am. I know what I want
[39:47] Speaker 1: to do. And I know where the fuck I'm going.
[39:49] Speaker 1: And it does not include you. So you take your
[39:51] Speaker 1: shitty ass opinion and you go clock back in at
[39:54] Speaker 1: your shitty ass job. You miserable bitch.
[40:02] Speaker 2: Why would anybody even try you in the car? They
[40:05] Speaker 2: try me all the time.
[40:05] Speaker 1: Why would they try you?
[40:07] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[40:08] Speaker 1: Why would they do that? Somebody asked me, what do
[40:09] Speaker 1: you think about, Lord, I shouldn't even say that. What
[40:11] Speaker 1: do you think about what Judge Judy said? And all
[40:13] Speaker 1: I said was Judge Judy is, I don't know, fuck
[40:16] Speaker 1: wrong hurts. I mean, how can you say things like
[40:18] Speaker 1: America's been good to you?
[40:20] Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, so stupid.
[40:21] Speaker 1: It was so fucking stupid when so many people out
[40:23] Speaker 1: here are struggling.
[40:25] Speaker 2: That's somebody who's not in the right world. They're in
[40:28] Speaker 2: their own bubble. They never stepped outside.
[40:31] Speaker 1: And they don't know anybody that's struggling. All your friends
[40:34] Speaker 1: probably have brownstones. Well, some of my friends are being evicted.
[40:37] Speaker 1: Some of my friends are calling me for help. You
[40:39] Speaker 1: don't have those types of friends. So how can you
[40:41] Speaker 1: say America has only been good to you? It ain't
[40:44] Speaker 1: been good to everybody. You know why you say that?
[40:47] Speaker 2: If you don't like it, you can get out of it.
[40:49] Speaker 1: Well, bitch, you ain't from here.
[40:50] Speaker 2: So you can't criticize or you can't point out the
[40:52] Speaker 2: injustice and all the things that are wrong with this country?
[40:55] Speaker 2: She's ridiculous.
[40:56] Speaker 1: Because those people don't have no injustice.
[40:58] Speaker 4: Oh, God.
[40:59] Speaker 3: There's stupid people out here.
[41:00] Speaker 2: What are you going to do?
[41:01] Speaker 1: There's stupid people out here, but there's nothing, you know,
[41:02] Speaker 1: and people are like, oh, are you wrong for saying?
[41:04] Speaker 1: I'm not wrong for saying because I know those people.
[41:07] Speaker 1: And when you fuck up the economy, gas prices are $ 6.
[41:10] Speaker 1: I'm in Atlanta, gas price was $ 5 for regular, definitely
[41:13] Speaker 1: $ 5 for regular when I left this week. So I
[41:15] Speaker 1: can imagine what my friends who have a nine to
[41:18] Speaker 1: five is going through.
[41:19] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[41:19] Speaker 3: No, it's real. It's tough for a lot of people.
[41:22] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[41:22] Speaker 3: A lot of people struggling and not happy.
[41:24] Speaker 1: And not happy.
[41:25] Speaker 4: No. Yeah.
[41:26] Speaker 1: I mean, when you got to go back to buying
[41:27] Speaker 1: sunbeam bread, that's a fucking problem. You ever had sunbeam?
[41:31] Speaker 1: That shit stick to the top of your mouth. You
[41:32] Speaker 1: try to swallow, girl, it's like you got two dicks
[41:34] Speaker 1: in your mouth. Ain't nothing going down.
[41:36] Speaker 2: Why would you ever have two dicks in your mouth?
[41:38] Speaker 1: I'm just saying. I like how you always come back
[41:41] Speaker 1: with a question. Stop asking me questions and just get
[41:46] Speaker 1: the visual. It's my job. I got questions.
[41:54] Speaker 2: I got a bad question. I don't know.
[41:58] Speaker 1: I was just trying to think of something thick.
[42:01] Speaker 2: And here I go.
[42:02] Speaker 1: And why?
[42:03] Speaker 2: And what would the occasion be that you.
[42:06] Speaker 1: Would want to have two dicks in your mouth? When
[42:08] Speaker 1: you need your rent paid, gas is hot.
[42:13] Speaker 2: Okay.
[42:14] Speaker 3: There you have it on IRL. That is a question
[42:16] Speaker 3: I never asked on IRL today. We'll have a lot
[42:18] Speaker 3: of firsts today with Ms.
[42:20] Speaker 1: Pat. Well, you never had Ms. Pat. That's why you
[42:23] Speaker 1: got a lot of firsts.
[42:24] Speaker 2: I know.
[42:24] Speaker 3: I'll take it.
[42:25] Speaker 1: Your cameraman back there so serious. You look like he
[42:28] Speaker 1: had a crime scene the way he back there looking
[42:30] Speaker 1: at that fucking camera.
[42:33] Speaker 3: You got my sound man all flustered.
[42:35] Speaker 1: Oh, he was sweating, baby. He touched that. He was
[42:37] Speaker 1: on the titty with no nipple, too. So he just
[42:39] Speaker 1: started shaking. He was shaking like this fucking boot so hard.
[42:42] Speaker 1: He punched my damn titty. I was like, what are
[42:44] Speaker 1: you doing, sound man? But they were soft, right? Because
[42:47] Speaker 1: I didn't buy them.
[42:48] Speaker 2: They were soft? They were soft.
[42:49] Speaker 1: These are food stamp titties, baby. These titties were built
[42:52] Speaker 1: off a welfare system. You ain't never got rid of
[42:59] Speaker 1: my sucking no glue in these titties.
[43:01] Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Okay, what are we going to go
[43:05] Speaker 2: to now? I have so many in real life questions
[43:07] Speaker 2: for you, Pat. How can I ask you a serious question?
[43:10] Speaker 1: Ask it.
[43:12] Speaker 2: And see what happens.
[43:17] Speaker 1: No question is serious to me.
[43:18] Speaker 2: I know. Nothing's ever serious. You never wake up in
[43:24] Speaker 2: a mood? Yeah, because I do have mood swings. Okay,
[43:27] Speaker 2: but you don't feel like being funny? Don't fuck with me.
[43:29] Speaker 3: Okay, don't fuck with me.
[43:30] Speaker 1: But I still find it funny, ain't it? But you're
[43:32] Speaker 1: still going to crack a joke. Somewhere in between, somehow,
[43:35] Speaker 1: I'm going to crack a joke. But yeah, I have
[43:36] Speaker 1: mood swings. I'll be a bitch someday. But that be
[43:38] Speaker 1: that menopause. Don't fuck with me. Menopause is on and
[43:41] Speaker 1: popping today.
[43:43] Speaker 2: So your family probably don't know what to do with
[43:44] Speaker 2: you when you're not... Like, they probably would worry about
[43:47] Speaker 2: you if you woke up and you wasn't being funny. Like,
[43:49] Speaker 2: you was.
[43:50] Speaker 1: No, my family don't see me as being funny. This
[43:52] Speaker 1: is just the person that they live with. This is
[43:54] Speaker 1: just mama.
[43:55] Speaker 3: They don't think you're funny?
[43:56] Speaker 1: I don't think they think I'm funny like you do.
[43:59] Speaker 1: They laugh, but my family is funny.
[44:01] Speaker 2: As hell, too. Oh, got it.
[44:02] Speaker 1: So we all sit around the table and talk about
[44:04] Speaker 1: each other. But when I'm in a mood or I'm
[44:07] Speaker 1: having a mood swing... My husband was like, take your
[44:10] Speaker 1: crazy ass to your room. Don't get fucked out of
[44:11] Speaker 1: my room. Take your crazy ass to your room.
[44:14] Speaker 2: And you go?
[44:15] Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, and people, when you've been around me
[44:17] Speaker 1: long enough, you kind of know when my menopause is fucking.
[44:20] Speaker 1: Even my sister, she'd be like, she crazy right now.
[44:23] Speaker 1: I'll be back.
[44:24] Speaker 2: That means you got a good crew.
[44:28] Speaker 3: You got a good crew around.
[44:29] Speaker 2: Yeah. Hey guys, you ever sign up for a phone
[44:32] Speaker 2: plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a
[44:34] Speaker 2: few months later, it's like surprise. Your bill is higher.
[44:37] Speaker 2: We hate that with boost mobile. You pay $ 25 a
[44:41] Speaker 2: month forever. That's unlimited talk, text and data starting at
[44:44] Speaker 2: just $ 25 a month.
[44:45] Speaker 3: There's no price hikes. There's no contract. And this is forever.
[44:49] Speaker 2: Plus boost mobile is now a legit nationwide 5g network.
[44:53] Speaker 2: They invested billions building 5g towers across the country. So,
[44:58] Speaker 2: What you need to do is visit BoostMobile.com or head
[45:00] Speaker 2: to your local Boost store today and get unlimited talk, text,
[45:04] Speaker 2: and data for $ 25 a month forever. 5G speeds not
[45:07] Speaker 2: available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience
[45:11] Speaker 2: lower speeds. Customers will pay $ 25 a month as long
[45:14] Speaker 2: as they remain active on the Boost unlimited plan. Our
[45:18] Speaker 2: IRL bowl is brought to you by McDonald's. All right,
[45:20] Speaker 2: this is my in real life bowl. In real life
[45:23] Speaker 2: questions in here. Wait, what was that?
[45:25] Speaker 1: Why you made that face? What's your favorite thing about
[45:28] Speaker 1: being your age? Oh, that's a good question. I can
[45:31] Speaker 1: answer that one. You know my favorite thing about being
[45:33] Speaker 1: my age is I have a lot of gas and
[45:36] Speaker 1: it just come out. It's silent and it don't smell,
[45:39] Speaker 1: but I fart all the time and I don't give
[45:41] Speaker 1: a fuck.
[45:41] Speaker 3: And you like it?
[45:43] Speaker 1: Well, yeah. If God were to text you right now, what?
[45:49] Speaker 3: That's my favorite question.
[45:50] Speaker 1: If God were to text me right now, he'll probably say, See,
[45:54] Speaker 1: I told your ass to take them kids. Look what
[45:57] Speaker 1: I done for you. I have to tell you this story.
[46:00] Speaker 1: So right after I agreed, I said, okay, God, because
[46:02] Speaker 1: I had this whole conversation that back and forth with
[46:05] Speaker 1: God about taking these new kids that I have because
[46:07] Speaker 1: I already had kids. And I cleaned my own house.
[46:12] Speaker 1: And I was cleaning my girl's bathroom one day. And
[46:15] Speaker 1: I see my manager, my agent, blowing up my house.
[46:18] Speaker 1: What the fuck they want? I'm trying to clean my
[46:19] Speaker 1: goddamn house. So I answer the phone and they all,
[46:23] Speaker 1: whenever lawyers and managers them calling you, they got something
[46:26] Speaker 1: for you. It's either good or bad. So I said, yeah,
[46:28] Speaker 1: what y'all want? And they was like, well, we want
[46:30] Speaker 1: to tell you, you know, VH1 want to offer you
[46:33] Speaker 1: a new show. And I said, a new show? And
[46:36] Speaker 1: they was like, they told me what the money was.
[46:37] Speaker 1: And they like, do you want?
[46:38] Speaker 2: I was like, hell yeah.
[46:39] Speaker 1: It's coming out on VH1. It's called Americans Funniest People.
[46:42] Speaker 4: Oh, yes.
[46:42] Speaker 1: And that was two weeks after I got them kids.
[46:44] Speaker 1: And I remember sending them. with that damn rag in
[46:47] Speaker 1: my hand, cleaning with my gloves on, cleaning the toilet.
[46:50] Speaker 1: And I looked at the one and I said, God,
[46:51] Speaker 1: you play too fucking much. Because that was God way
[46:54] Speaker 1: of saying, you did what I asked you to do.
[46:58] Speaker 1: And I told you, as long as you do what
[46:59] Speaker 1: I asked you to do, I will provide for you.
[47:02] Speaker 1: I didn't ask for a whole nother show. I did.
[47:05] Speaker 1: And God was like, since you did what I told
[47:08] Speaker 1: you to do, I'm going to always keep you working.
[47:11] Speaker 1: And I just looked at it and it was just,
[47:12] Speaker 1: it was like at the right moment. And I said, God,
[47:15] Speaker 1: you play too damn much. And I went back to
[47:17] Speaker 1: cleaning the toilet.
[47:20] Speaker 2: But you knew what it was.
[47:21] Speaker 1: I knew it was because I obeyed when he said,
[47:24] Speaker 1: go get those kids. And it was six of them.
[47:25] Speaker 1: I couldn't get all six. I ended up getting three,
[47:27] Speaker 1: three girls. And he said, you did what I asked
[47:30] Speaker 1: you to do.
[47:31] Speaker 4: Wow.
[47:32] Speaker 3: How do you know when you hear him? How do
[47:34] Speaker 3: you know?
[47:34] Speaker 1: It's a voice. And I've heard it for years. When
[47:36] Speaker 1: I used to sell dope, right, and I would sit
[47:39] Speaker 1: on the corner and sometimes my mind would say, get
[47:41] Speaker 1: up and move. And I would be still sitting there
[47:43] Speaker 1: and the voice would say, get the fuck up and move.
[47:45] Speaker 1: And I would get up and take off running. And
[47:48] Speaker 1: in the house behind me would get buzzed. At one point,
[47:50] Speaker 1: people thought I was a snitch. But I wasn't a snitch.
[47:53] Speaker 1: God would always tell me when to move. When I
[47:55] Speaker 1: got shot in the titty and the ball was shooting
[47:57] Speaker 1: at me and I felt all of those bullets going
[48:00] Speaker 1: by my head. And I remember I said, Lord, I said,
[48:02] Speaker 1: my kids is all I got. Don't let me get killed.
[48:05] Speaker 1: And God said, stop. And I reached my hand up
[48:08] Speaker 1: to the door and the bullet went up on my
[48:10] Speaker 1: arm and shot my areola off. Had I kept going,
[48:13] Speaker 1: I would have got shot in the head. I felt
[48:15] Speaker 1: those bullets going by my head.
[48:16] Speaker 4: Wow.
[48:17] Speaker 1: So it's a voice. I've heard it for years.
[48:20] Speaker 3: Like a clear voice.
[48:21] Speaker 1: It's a clear voice. It's raspy. I want to say
[48:25] Speaker 1: it's a man, but hell, I'm a girl and I
[48:27] Speaker 1: got a raspy-ass voice, so I don't know what it is.
[48:30] Speaker 1: But I hear it a lot. Wow. I hear it
[48:34] Speaker 1: a lot.
[48:34] Speaker 2: Well, it's no wonder that you've made it through some
[48:37] Speaker 2: of the things that you've made it through.
[48:38] Speaker 1: I never said I didn't have an angel.
[48:41] Speaker 3: No, I know.
[48:42] Speaker 2: But, you know, it's like there's something you it's not
[48:44] Speaker 2: because it's not it's not a typical experience. It's like
[48:47] Speaker 2: you can't write this. You couldn't write that script in somebody.
[48:50] Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like it's it's really, you know,
[48:53] Speaker 2: we joke and stuff, but it's really unbelievable what you've
[48:56] Speaker 2: how you've been able to turn your life around.
[48:59] Speaker 1: People ask me all the time, like, you're not angry.
[49:01] Speaker 1: A lot of people be angry. There's nothing to be
[49:03] Speaker 1: angry about. You know, especially when you have forgiven the
[49:07] Speaker 1: people that you felt like have done wrong. And also,
[49:09] Speaker 1: I realized from writing my first book that I was
[49:11] Speaker 1: born in a generation of curse. High school dropout, teenage pregnant, alcoholism, drugs.
[49:16] Speaker 1: I realized that had just been going through my family
[49:18] Speaker 1: from generation after generation. When it got to me, I
[49:22] Speaker 1: was like, no, y'all ain't going to be molesting my daughter.
[49:24] Speaker 1: Y'all ain't going to be doing this. My kids ain't
[49:26] Speaker 1: going to drop out. So my daughter was the first
[49:29] Speaker 1: child to graduate. Her and my niece, the first kids
[49:32] Speaker 1: to graduate in my family, three generations, and the first
[49:35] Speaker 1: one to ever go to college.
[49:36] Speaker 4: Wow.
[49:37] Speaker 1: So, but yeah, it's a voice. It's a voice that
[49:39] Speaker 1: I hear. And I don't really like to say it
[49:41] Speaker 1: out loud because people are going to start thinking I'm crazy.
[49:43] Speaker 3: No, you're not the first person to share that.
[49:45] Speaker 1: Yes.
[49:45] Speaker 2: I'm always fascinated about that because I feel connected, but
[49:49] Speaker 2: I don't hear a clear voice.
[49:50] Speaker 1: Because you're not listening.
[49:51] Speaker 3: Is that what it is?
[49:52] Speaker 1: You might not be listening. Because sometimes when I first
[49:55] Speaker 1: started hearing it. Sometimes I'd be like, is that my
[49:56] Speaker 1: own voice? Yes.
[49:58] Speaker 2: I'd be trying to separate what I think I'm hearing, but.
[50:01] Speaker 1: It's not clear.
[50:02] Speaker 2: And then I'll tell you another incident.
[50:04] Speaker 1: I know we got to go.
[50:04] Speaker 2: No, no.
[50:05] Speaker 1: I remember when I shot the pilot for the Miss
[50:08] Speaker 1: Pat show, right? And we was killing it. It was
[50:10] Speaker 1: on Fox Live. It's Lee Daniel and Ron Howard show, right?
[50:13] Speaker 1: And we on Fox Live. And it was so many
[50:15] Speaker 1: people that came out to see. We had an overflow room.
[50:17] Speaker 2: And during the rehearsal.
[50:20] Speaker 1: the big guy from Hulu walk in and my spirit,
[50:23] Speaker 1: when I don't, when I, when I walk into a
[50:25] Speaker 1: room and if your spirit rattles, I get the fuck on. Oh,
[50:29] Speaker 1: I tell my sister, that motherfucker right there. I ain't right.
[50:32] Speaker 1: I said, I can tell if you like me, I
[50:35] Speaker 1: can tell when I walk into a room, I can
[50:37] Speaker 1: feel the spirit. And if it's a spirit in that
[50:39] Speaker 1: bitch fight, I, I actually, I started talking to you like,
[50:42] Speaker 1: what the fuck going on with you? Oh, I stay
[50:43] Speaker 1: the fuck away from you. Make a long story short.
[50:46] Speaker 1: We shoot the pilot. And as we shooting the pilot,
[50:48] Speaker 1: you know, I'm a comedian. I'm no actor. And it's
[50:51] Speaker 1: about school shooting and shit. And we killing it that night.
[50:55] Speaker 1: I shot that first. We shot that first show because
[50:58] Speaker 1: we shot two shows that night. God told me, he said,
[51:01] Speaker 1: Hulu is not going to pick up your pilot. So
[51:03] Speaker 1: I went to Debbie Allen and I went to my creator,
[51:06] Speaker 1: Jordanie Cooper. I said, I just want y'all to know
[51:09] Speaker 1: that God told me that Hulu is not going to
[51:11] Speaker 1: pick up the pilot. And they was like, what are
[51:13] Speaker 1: you talking about? We killing it. I said, I don't care.
[51:17] Speaker 1: That man of Hulu don't like it. So I sent
[51:20] Speaker 1: my friend back there. I said, go back there and
[51:22] Speaker 1: see if he laughing. He wasn't laughing at shit. God
[51:24] Speaker 1: told me on that floor before I shot that second
[51:27] Speaker 1: episode that Hulu was not going to pick up that show.
[51:31] Speaker 1: And Hulu did not pick up that fucking show.
[51:34] Speaker 2: They dropped it.
[51:35] Speaker 1: I was in Raleigh, North Carolina, Valentine's Day when Lee
[51:37] Speaker 1: Daniel called me and told me Hulu said the show
[51:40] Speaker 1: wasn't good enough for their network. But he also told
[51:44] Speaker 1: me When he told me that night, I said, that's fine, Lee.
[51:47] Speaker 1: I got to go. I got to go get on stage.
[51:49] Speaker 1: I never felt like it wasn't going to get picked up.
[51:52] Speaker 1: I knew it was going to get picked up. I
[51:54] Speaker 1: just didn't know where. Not even a month later, Lee
[51:57] Speaker 1: Collins said, BET Plus ordered 10 episodes. I said, what
[52:01] Speaker 1: the fuck is BET Plus? Because I didn't watch BET.
[52:06] Speaker 1: And I remember my friend said, my co-creator said, well,
[52:09] Speaker 1: we're going to go over there to die. Nobody's over
[52:11] Speaker 1: at BET Plus. I said, one thing I know about life,
[52:13] Speaker 1: two things that never had a commercial is cracking Waffle House.
[52:16] Speaker 1: If we create that, we're going to win. And we
[52:18] Speaker 1: in our sixth season. But God told me, God, and
[52:21] Speaker 1: you know what's crazy? I've been nominated for an Emmy
[52:25] Speaker 1: four times for that show. Never won. Thank God we
[52:27] Speaker 1: got nominated. You know, I'm not a trophy hoe. I
[52:29] Speaker 1: don't care about no trophy. I care about the checks clear.
[52:32] Speaker 1: Every time, We go to the Emmy. I see the
[52:35] Speaker 1: man who dropped the Miss Pat show. The who the man?
[52:37] Speaker 1: Guess what he was sitting at this year? Behind me.
[52:41] Speaker 2: Oh.
[52:42] Speaker 1: And we still didn't win. But every time I see
[52:45] Speaker 1: that man, and usually I speak.
[52:48] Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
[52:49] Speaker 1: But it's just God saying, I'm going to continue to
[52:51] Speaker 1: keep bringing you here. And, you know, I would never
[52:54] Speaker 1: let this person forget or show the heat that could
[52:57] Speaker 1: have been big for their network.
[52:58] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
[52:59] Speaker 1: Because why is he the first motherfucker I see every
[53:01] Speaker 1: time I go to the Emmys?
[53:02] Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
[53:03] Speaker 2: Every time. I've been four times.
[53:06] Speaker 3: No, that's wild.
[53:06] Speaker 1: And this time he was sitting behind me.
[53:10] Speaker 2: Do you remember the first time that you heard that voice?
[53:14] Speaker 1: When I was selling drugs.
[53:16] Speaker 3: Really?
[53:17] Speaker 1: No, I'll tell you, when I got shot, that voice said, stop.
[53:21] Speaker 1: Because I felt them bullets go in my mouth. And
[53:24] Speaker 1: the bullet is, and this is going to sound crazy,
[53:26] Speaker 1: it's very strong feeling. Because, you know, I ended up
[53:30] Speaker 1: getting shot in the titty. And I got shot in
[53:31] Speaker 1: the head once by my kid's father. But this boy
[53:33] Speaker 1: who particularly shot me in the titty, the bullets was
[53:35] Speaker 1: going by my head. It was like, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo.
[53:38] Speaker 1: And I said, Lord, don't let me die. And that
[53:40] Speaker 1: boy said, stop. And I stopped. And the bullet hit
[53:44] Speaker 1: me up under the arm.
[53:46] Speaker 3: Did you know in that moment?
[53:47] Speaker 1: No, I thought I snagged my titty on the door.
[53:50] Speaker 1: I was running in a crack house, and I said, damn,
[53:52] Speaker 1: I snapped my motherfucking titty on the door. And I
[53:54] Speaker 1: looked down, and it was a big-ass hole, and my
[53:58] Speaker 1: nipple was hanging off. And so they called an ambulance,
[54:01] Speaker 1: and they was like, well, we're looking for an entry point.
[54:03] Speaker 1: And I held up my arm. He said, oh, it went.
[54:05] Speaker 1: It was like a.
[54:05] Speaker 2: 45.
[54:06] Speaker 1: It went up under my arm, and it destroyed my
[54:08] Speaker 1: fucking titty. Wow.
[54:10] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[54:10] Speaker 1: And I have Medicaid, so they didn't give a fuck.
[54:12] Speaker 1: They just laid that nipple back up, and it came
[54:14] Speaker 1: back together like RoboCop.
[54:17] Speaker 3: But you knew it was God in that moment or
[54:19] Speaker 3: you didn't know?
[54:20] Speaker 1: Yeah, I knew it was God in that moment.
[54:21] Speaker 2: You didn't?
[54:22] Speaker 1: When I met my husband, I told God, I said, okay, Lord,
[54:25] Speaker 1: I'm tired of selling crack. That's it. I'm going to
[54:27] Speaker 1: get killed out here. Because right before I met my husband,
[54:29] Speaker 1: I was in a gambling house, me and my kids.
[54:32] Speaker 1: And these niggas got the shot, shooting. And over $ 50,
[54:35] Speaker 1: we all in that gambling. And he shoot the boy
[54:37] Speaker 1: right there in front of us. And my kids were
[54:39] Speaker 1: sitting in the living room. And my daughter was so smart.
[54:42] Speaker 1: At the time, she grabbed her brother Nestor and she
[54:44] Speaker 1: took the fuck off with my son. We had to
[54:46] Speaker 1: get in the car to stop her from running. And
[54:48] Speaker 1: I remember grabbing her. She said, you're going to get
[54:50] Speaker 1: us killed. We're going to die. We're going to die.
[54:53] Speaker 1: And I said, OK, God, I say. And I saw
[54:55] Speaker 1: drugs in front of her school. And I said, OK, God,
[54:57] Speaker 1: I say I say I need my kids need a daddy.
[55:01] Speaker 1: And within not even a month, I met my husband. Wow.
[55:05] Speaker 1: And never looked back. And you know how when you
[55:07] Speaker 1: break up with somebody, you go back a couple times,
[55:08] Speaker 1: get you some more dick, and keep it moving. And
[55:10] Speaker 1: make sure you don't want that dick no more.
[55:12] Speaker 2: You didn't do none of that? None of that.
[55:14] Speaker 1: Not one time. I kept it moving.
[55:16] Speaker 2: It's been 33 years.
[55:18] Speaker 1: Wow. So I listened to God all the time. And
[55:22] Speaker 1: when I said, God, I need a daddy, bam, he
[55:24] Speaker 1: popped up. He was a little fat and he smoked.
[55:27] Speaker 1: But he said, you didn't tell me everything. I said, Lord,
[55:31] Speaker 1: I want a man that don't go outside and don't
[55:33] Speaker 1: hit a bitch in the eye and don't cheat me.
[55:35] Speaker 1: And I want no more crabs and gone to real.
[55:36] Speaker 1: And I got all of that. He gave you everything
[55:41] Speaker 1: you asked for.
[55:42] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[55:42] Speaker 1: But he brought him in as a cigarette smoker. But
[55:44] Speaker 1: we fixed that.
[55:45] Speaker 2: He stopped? He quit?
[55:46] Speaker 1: He stopped cold turkey.
[55:48] Speaker 4: Wow.
[55:49] Speaker 1: And I had no problems out of it.
[55:52] Speaker 3: And most importantly, you're happy.
[55:54] Speaker 1: I'm happy. And I got to say this. I'm so
[55:57] Speaker 1: happy to meet you.
[55:58] Speaker 2: I'm so happy to meet you, too.
[56:00] Speaker 1: Really, I am.
[56:01] Speaker 3: Miss American Dream.
[56:02] Speaker 1: Y'all make sure y'all pick up my book because I
[56:04] Speaker 1: would like for it. What I needed to be on, Jasmine?
[56:08] Speaker 2: New York Times.
[56:09] Speaker 3: We want a New York Times bestseller.
[56:11] Speaker 1: Yeah, so pick the damn book up. You deserve a
[56:13] Speaker 1: New York Times bestseller.
[56:14] Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you.
[56:16] Speaker 3: I want that for you. We have a segment. Do
[56:18] Speaker 3: we have a voice note before you go? Okay, we
[56:20] Speaker 3: have a segment. It's a voice note segment. Somebody sent
[56:22] Speaker 3: you a message. I don't know who it is. Usually
[56:24] Speaker 3: a fan or a friend of the pod or something.
[56:28] Speaker 3: Let's see.
[56:29] Speaker 2: What do we got?
[56:30] Speaker 1: Hey, it's Jen from Brooklyn.
[56:31] Speaker 4: I'm 29 years old and I just want to say
[56:34] Speaker 4: I love both Angie Martinez and Miss Pat. So having
[56:39] Speaker 4: you guys together, man, I can't wait to watch this episode.
[56:43] Speaker 4: But yeah, Miss Pat, I just wanted to know What
[56:45] Speaker 4: advice would you give a 29-year-old who's starting her new journey?
[56:50] Speaker 2: 30s is near, very near.
[56:52] Speaker 4: Oh, man.
[56:54] Speaker 1: And, I mean, I know I'm.
[56:56] Speaker 4: Still young and have time.
[56:59] Speaker 2: But, you know, life be life.
[57:01] Speaker 4: And it's like you never know when that turning point
[57:05] Speaker 4: is going to be.
[57:06] Speaker 2: Like, what do you do to motivate.
[57:08] Speaker 4: Yourself and keep going even when you don't know what's next?
[57:14] Speaker 1: I would say wake up in the mirror every day
[57:15] Speaker 1: and tell yourself, you know, how much you love yourself.
[57:18] Speaker 1: And be careful about the people that you, you know,
[57:20] Speaker 1: young people so quick to say people are their friends.
[57:22] Speaker 1: Be careful about the people that you have surrounded you.
[57:25] Speaker 1: Because they're not always happy for you. And you, believe
[57:28] Speaker 1: it or not, they be the ones that be holding
[57:29] Speaker 1: you back. I tell my kids every day, the word
[57:32] Speaker 1: friends end in the word in for a reason. They
[57:36] Speaker 1: ain't your fucking friends. So, you know, you should say
[57:39] Speaker 1: life be life and then it do be life. But
[57:41] Speaker 1: take a look in your mirror. And set goals for yourself.
[57:44] Speaker 1: Tell yourself what.
[57:45] Speaker 2: You're going to do every day.
[57:46] Speaker 1: When I started doing Became a Comedian, I told people,
[57:48] Speaker 1: I said, I'm going to get me a sitcom. They
[57:50] Speaker 1: thought I was fucking crazy. But at least put that
[57:52] Speaker 1: in the universe. Because if you keep putting it in
[57:55] Speaker 1: the universe, I promise you it will come back. Because
[57:58] Speaker 1: the more you keep saying it is the more you're
[58:00] Speaker 1: going to keep working towards it. When you don't have
[58:03] Speaker 1: goals in life, you become a bomb.
[58:05] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[58:06] Speaker 2: So set a goal for yourself.
[58:08] Speaker 1: Young people don't want to set goals. They just want
[58:09] Speaker 1: to become, I'm the CEO. You ain't no CEO of
[58:12] Speaker 1: a motherfucking thing. You ain't this shit. They love that
[58:15] Speaker 1: we're a CEO. Who the fuck is a CEO? Set
[58:19] Speaker 1: your ass down. Set some goals for yourself. Can you
[58:24] Speaker 1: start as the employer or the creator first? You're going
[58:27] Speaker 1: to go straight to CEO, motherfucker. So I would say
[58:31] Speaker 1: young lady who's 30 years old, set a goal for yourself.
[58:33] Speaker 1: Look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you
[58:35] Speaker 1: love yourself and motivate yourself. You can motivate yourself and
[58:38] Speaker 1: just put it in the universe what you want to do.
[58:41] Speaker 1: And every day you wake up and you work towards it.
[58:45] Speaker 3: What do you still want for yourself?
[58:49] Speaker 1: I would love to sell out arenas. That don't happen
[58:51] Speaker 1: a lot for women comedians. I would love an arena show.
[58:56] Speaker 2: Is that a goal?
[58:57] Speaker 1: That's a goal I'm working towards, yes.
[58:59] Speaker 2: That's a goal. And in the middle of the goal,
[59:02] Speaker 2: you have a cooking show. I have a cooking show.
[59:06] Speaker 4: Ms.
[59:06] Speaker 2: Pat show.
[59:06] Speaker 4: Ms.
[59:06] Speaker 2: Pat show, a judge show. A new judge show. A
[59:08] Speaker 2: new show. You got a new show. And more shows.
[59:11] Speaker 1: And a book. And a book. Second book. And I'm
[59:14] Speaker 1: working on a couple other things, too.
[59:16] Speaker 4: Wow.
[59:16] Speaker 1: I mean, this is like selling dope to me. If
[59:18] Speaker 1: you create it, they're going to smoke it.
[59:24] Speaker 2: So I'm having fun selling this shit. And some of
[59:27] Speaker 2: it don't sell.
[59:27] Speaker 1: And what don't sell, I'm going to create it myself.
[59:31] Speaker 1: That's what I did for the cooking show. I'm enjoying myself.
[59:36] Speaker 1: I'm having fun. And that's what life is all about.
[59:40] Speaker 1: And just because these people in this industry tell you no,
[59:42] Speaker 1: it don't have to be no. Because you can always
[59:46] Speaker 1: turn your no into a yes if you believe in yourself.
[59:49] Speaker 1: And sometimes that no is a no to make you
[59:52] Speaker 1: stronger and see how bad you really want it. And
[59:55] Speaker 1: most of the time, that first no is where you
[59:59] Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to be in the first damn place. You
[1:00:03] Speaker 1: can't get discouraged because these people don't want your shit.
[1:00:05] Speaker 1: You know how many times I tried to sell pussy
[1:00:07] Speaker 1: and the people changed their mind when I got there?
[1:00:09] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[1:00:12] Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I ain't never sold no pussy, but
[1:00:14] Speaker 1: I'm just saying.
[1:00:14] Speaker 2: I was like, I never heard that part, that chapter.
[1:00:17] Speaker 2: I never read that chapter in the book. They was like,
[1:00:19] Speaker 2: you too fat.
[1:00:20] Speaker 1: I changed my mind.
[1:00:20] Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay.
[1:00:22] Speaker 1: I was going to make you pay double anyway, bitch.
[1:00:25] Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
[1:00:27] Speaker 4: All right.
[1:00:27] Speaker 3: My last IRL.
[1:00:28] Speaker 2: We have like all these IRL questions. What are you
[1:00:31] Speaker 2: most proud of about yourself?
[1:00:33] Speaker 1: That I never gave up. And I hope the little
[1:00:37] Speaker 1: girl in me, Rabbit, is proud of me. I'm so
[1:00:40] Speaker 1: glad I never gave up because there was time I wanted,
[1:00:42] Speaker 1: there was times I wanted to. So that's my most
[1:00:46] Speaker 1: proudest moment to see where I'm at today. You know,
[1:00:49] Speaker 1: sometimes when I think about it, usually I'm on a
[1:00:51] Speaker 1: plane and I was like, wow, how did I get here, Lord?
[1:00:56] Speaker 1: What is from me not giving up? And it was
[1:00:58] Speaker 1: that voice in my ear. that said you can make it.
[1:01:01] Speaker 1: I remember writing a quote in this book about one
[1:01:04] Speaker 1: time I was on the, oh, matter of fact, you
[1:01:06] Speaker 1: just made me remember in the book, I heard it
[1:01:08] Speaker 1: a little early. One time when I first had my daughter, Ashley,
[1:01:11] Speaker 1: and I know we got to go.
[1:01:12] Speaker 2: No, no.
[1:01:12] Speaker 1: I had my daughter, Ashley, and I'm poor. I was
[1:01:15] Speaker 1: so fucking poor. And, you know, to the point where
[1:01:18] Speaker 1: I was almost washing pampers out. And I take her
[1:01:21] Speaker 1: to the hospital, Grady Hospital, and I get on the train.
[1:01:24] Speaker 1: And this bomb was on the train.
[1:01:26] Speaker 2: I had $ 10 to my name.
[1:01:28] Speaker 1: And I wanted to buy my baby some more pamper.
[1:01:30] Speaker 1: And God said, get that person at $ 10. I said, God,
[1:01:33] Speaker 1: you don't love me. I'm okay, man. Leave me alone.
[1:01:35] Speaker 1: Because he was early on. I think I was about
[1:01:37] Speaker 1: 15 at the time. He said, get that woman at $ 10.
[1:01:40] Speaker 1: I said, no. He said, get a woman at $ 10.
[1:01:42] Speaker 1: No fucking lie. I gave that lady my $ 10. I
[1:01:44] Speaker 1: got off the train and found $ 100. And I said, God,
[1:01:47] Speaker 1: do give it back 10 times.
[1:01:49] Speaker 4: So.
[1:01:50] Speaker 1: To be honest with you, I started hearing the voice
[1:01:52] Speaker 1: earlier than that. Yeah. But you knew it was him always.
[1:01:55] Speaker 1: I always knew it was him.
[1:01:56] Speaker 3: So that faith was always there, yeah?
[1:01:58] Speaker 1: It was always there. It was always being tested because
[1:02:01] Speaker 1: I was 15 when that happened. But I told that
[1:02:04] Speaker 1: story in the book and I just remembered.
[1:02:08] Speaker 3: Miss American Dream.
[1:02:09] Speaker 2: Miss American Dream.
[1:02:09] Speaker 1: Go get it, y'all.
[1:02:10] Speaker 3: Miss Pat in real life, everybody.
[1:02:17] Speaker 1: This is Miss Pat in real life.
[1:02:19] Speaker 2: Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment,
[1:02:23] Speaker 2: and check out all of the other episodes we have
[1:02:25] Speaker 2: on Angie Martinez IRL podcast.

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