# Bozoma Saint John on Faith, Hustle Culture Lies & Trusting Your Inner Voice

An episode of [Angie Martinez IRL](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1633466636), 14 May 2026, 1 h 12 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/808/arttrk.com/p/ARTS0/podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/09313230-a088-4537-b3d1-aeca00f910df/bd3958a9-5e60-4e31-a02e-b44a00109867/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=910ebdb0-f7f7-4c39-a376-aeca00f9f039

Businesswoman, author, and reality TV star, Bozoma Saint John joins Angie Martinez to discuss making it as a woman entrepreneur, why she stands up for fellow CEO and businesswoman Emma Grede, how she has adapted to the "hustle culture" she was brought up in, being the parent of a teenage daughter, and how she cancels out the hate she receives on social media from being a star on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills". Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt... All lines provided by Hard Rock Bet See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: You're doing this publicly now all opinions.
[0:04] Speaker 2: Everybody has an opinion. Hate.
[0:08] Speaker 1: I hate it so much, that's so honest. Most people
[0:11] Speaker 1: will be like, I don't care, but I care opinion.
[0:13] Speaker 2: I care.
[0:16] Speaker 3: I'm responding. I mean, you know that cat what that's like.
[0:22] Speaker 1: That's me. Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought
[0:31] Speaker 1: to you by boost Mobile. Bosima Saint John is a
[0:33] Speaker 1: Hall of Fame inducted marketing executive, author, entrepreneur, general just badass.
[0:39] Speaker 1: In twenty twenty three, she stepped out of the corporate
[0:42] Speaker 1: box and she published her memoir, which we were just
[0:44] Speaker 1: talking about and we'll share in a second. It was
[0:46] Speaker 1: called The Urgent Life. It is called The Urgent Life.
[0:49] Speaker 1: She's now a full time cast member of the Real
[0:51] Speaker 1: Housewives of Beverly Hills. That was not just any of
[0:54] Speaker 1: our and she stars in On Brand with Jimmy Fallon,
[0:59] Speaker 1: which is a marketing competition series on NBC. And she
[1:03] Speaker 1: has many, many, many other things that we're going to
[1:04] Speaker 1: talk about all the things today, but both of the
[1:07] Speaker 1: Saint John is our guest today in real life, and
[1:11] Speaker 1: we met recently for the first time, my god, on
[1:14] Speaker 1: a women's panel.
[1:15] Speaker 3: Yes, I was so excited. I was so excited because,
[1:19] Speaker 3: you know what, I'm not from New York, but I
[1:22] Speaker 3: feel like a New Yorker. I lived in New York
[1:23] Speaker 3: for fifteen years, by the way, the longest I've ever
[1:27] Speaker 3: lived in any city.
[1:28] Speaker 1: And that's how you moved around a lot.
[1:30] Speaker 2: Yeah, I moved around a lot. And I loved hearing
[1:34] Speaker 2: you every day.
[1:36] Speaker 1: Thank you every day. Yeah. Yes, I start to get
[1:38] Speaker 1: like a one way relation show you.
[1:40] Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
[1:41] Speaker 3: And so when we met, it felt very familiar because
[1:45] Speaker 3: I feel like I know you.
[1:46] Speaker 1: What I'm saying. But it's just there's enough of your
[1:49] Speaker 1: public you have a footprint in the world that I
[1:52] Speaker 1: knew you. I knew you somewhat. Yes, so we already
[1:55] Speaker 1: came with some deep.
[1:56] Speaker 2: But I was already in love.
[1:57] Speaker 3: And then I'm like, oh my God to talk to
[1:59] Speaker 3: Angie because like you, I mean, you do do great
[2:04] Speaker 3: storytelling and you have great conversation. And so even when
[2:07] Speaker 3: we met at the panel, I was like, oh man,
[2:10] Speaker 3: we could sit up here and talk forever. That's gonna
[2:12] Speaker 3: how We're gonna continue this conversation.
[2:13] Speaker 2: We got to get off the stake.
[2:14] Speaker 3: Well.
[2:15] Speaker 1: Number one, I will say that you also are an
[2:17] Speaker 1: amazing storyteller and reading your book because you know, you
[2:23] Speaker 1: could have wrote a business book.
[2:24] Speaker 3: Oh yes, which, by the way, my publishers wanted me
[2:27] Speaker 3: to write that. I was wondering about that. That was
[2:30] Speaker 3: the book they wanted me to write. And also you
[2:32] Speaker 3: could still write, yes, and I probably still.
[2:34] Speaker 1: Won't still will we just maybe we just interviewed that mcgreed,
[2:38] Speaker 1: which I know you did also, which we're going to
[2:40] Speaker 1: get to all exactly. We're going to get to all them.
[2:42] Speaker 1: I'm very curious about how you feel about at her
[2:45] Speaker 1: and things of that.
[2:46] Speaker 2: I have a lot of thoughts.
[2:47] Speaker 1: We'll get into that.
[2:48] Speaker 2: Yeah, But.
[2:50] Speaker 1: You know, writing a memoir is a tricky thing, right,
[2:54] Speaker 1: And so I went reading it, I wondered how much
[2:56] Speaker 1: because you know a lot of people they tell their
[2:59] Speaker 1: story and they a partner who's a writer by trade.
[3:02] Speaker 1: But yours felt so intimate, I wondered.
[3:05] Speaker 2: I was like, wow, she this was a lot of.
[3:06] Speaker 1: Your own voice and words.
[3:08] Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, but the way that it was written.
[3:12] Speaker 1: Because I've been studying writing for the past few years,
[3:15] Speaker 1: I also wrote a memoir and the women they brought
[3:17] Speaker 1: in to help me because I was insistent on had
[3:19] Speaker 1: I had to write so much. Yeah, she taught me
[3:21] Speaker 1: so much about actual writing and storytelling. And the way
[3:25] Speaker 1: your book reads is it goes past the present, Yes,
[3:28] Speaker 1: past to present, and you've been through so much. That
[3:32] Speaker 1: is just a night. It's a it's a beautiful ride.
[3:36] Speaker 1: I know, it's a lot of pain and things and
[3:38] Speaker 1: then also but it's just a beautifully, beautifully.
[3:42] Speaker 2: Thank you you know.
[3:43] Speaker 3: So you're right, my publisher. And by the way, tons
[3:46] Speaker 3: of publishers over the years have been like you should
[3:48] Speaker 3: write yes, how to get to the Corner Office in
[3:51] Speaker 3: Heels book which or like you know, still Girl Boss
[3:55] Speaker 3: for Dummies, And I was like, oh my god, well
[3:56] Speaker 3: I don't know about either one of those titles, you
[3:58] Speaker 3: know what I mean. But you know, I really felt
[4:02] Speaker 3: called to write my memoir because as a successful business woman,
[4:07] Speaker 3: people always think that like somehow you had a silver staircase,
[4:11] Speaker 3: you know, and that like nothing bad could have happened
[4:14] Speaker 3: to you in order for you to continue to rise.
[4:16] Speaker 3: And for me, I was like, wait, wait, hold on,
[4:17] Speaker 3: hold on, I've dealt with some shit in my life,
[4:21] Speaker 3: you know, some stuff that brought me down. Yeah, And
[4:24] Speaker 3: I think for me it was like, look, I want
[4:27] Speaker 3: I want you to read my book and not only
[4:29] Speaker 3: know me better, but also appreciate that life. You can
[4:33] Speaker 3: put yourself in these shoes and you can also achieve
[4:36] Speaker 3: regardless of what has happened to you, because like, this.
[4:39] Speaker 2: Shit is heavy.
[4:40] Speaker 3: Yeah, you also lost and love and survival and thriving
[4:46] Speaker 3: and climbing the staircase and getting things wrong. Like at
[4:50] Speaker 3: one point, my editor was like, yo, votes like you
[4:54] Speaker 3: there's some parts in here where you're.
[4:56] Speaker 2: Not the hero, you know, but you don't look that good.
[5:00] Speaker 3: And I was like, good, actually, oh my god, well
[5:04] Speaker 3: there are many parts, but you know, I mean, there's
[5:06] Speaker 3: some stuff I regret. You know, It's like when I'm
[5:09] Speaker 3: jumping ahead. But when my husband was terminally diagnosed, we
[5:15] Speaker 3: had been separated for about a year and a half
[5:19] Speaker 3: or so, we hadn't divorced. I wasn't planning on serving
[5:23] Speaker 3: him the paperwork because I was like, let him do it,
[5:25] Speaker 3: you know, let him be the bad guy, you know
[5:27] Speaker 3: what I mean. And I was trying desperately to move on.
[5:31] Speaker 3: I thought, Okay, well, if I have a boyfriend, then
[5:34] Speaker 3: he really gonna get pissed off and then serve me
[5:35] Speaker 3: some divorce papers. And I was like, you know, you
[5:38] Speaker 3: should get a girlfriend too, you know what I mean, Like,
[5:39] Speaker 3: let's just all both move on. And he was refusing, refusing,
[5:44] Speaker 3: And then one day I went to his house and
[5:48] Speaker 3: I saw a pair of women's shoes there, and those
[5:51] Speaker 3: were some ugly ass shoes.
[5:52] Speaker 2: I knew they weren't mine, you know what I'm saying.
[5:55] Speaker 1: So I was like, who's this bitch?
[5:57] Speaker 3: And he had a girlfriend, and I was like, Okay,
[6:01] Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about this, but all right,
[6:03] Speaker 3: you know this will help move us on. But then
[6:05] Speaker 3: when he was diagnosed, and it was she and I
[6:10] Speaker 3: were getting along, you know, we'd like trade off time
[6:13] Speaker 3: in the hospital, and it just felt very sister wife
[6:16] Speaker 3: and I was actually very comfortable with that until they
[6:19] Speaker 3: said he was going to die. Then then I was like, honey,
[6:23] Speaker 3: you got to get up out of here. Okay, I'm
[6:25] Speaker 3: his wife and these are my vows, and I'm the
[6:28] Speaker 3: one who's going to be here. And in telling that story,
[6:33] Speaker 3: I was definitely I was unfair, yeah, and I wish
[6:40] Speaker 3: I could do it over unfair to unfair to her.
[6:44] Speaker 3: He was he was very happy, I mean, he you know,
[6:48] Speaker 3: went on Facebook and was like, thank you God, I
[6:50] Speaker 3: got my empire back and my kingdom back, you know,
[6:54] Speaker 3: the whole thing, like he was, but I don't think
[6:57] Speaker 3: I was.
[6:58] Speaker 2: I was being fair. Wasn't being fair to her? And
[7:01] Speaker 2: I regret that.
[7:02] Speaker 1: Did you ever have you ever made that ends or
[7:04] Speaker 1: not talking there?
[7:08] Speaker 2: Look, I'm not I'm not that much of an angel now, okay,
[7:12] Speaker 2: but you've admitted.
[7:13] Speaker 1: That before you said this.
[7:15] Speaker 2: I said it.
[7:15] Speaker 1: She said she's gotten win.
[7:17] Speaker 2: I hope she got I hope she got win. But
[7:19] Speaker 2: we don't need to talk. Come on, there's nothing to
[7:22] Speaker 2: do nothing. It's enough for you. It's not for me
[7:24] Speaker 2: to We don't need to be friends.
[7:26] Speaker 1: And there's so much in your book that you know,
[7:30] Speaker 1: even looking at you now where you are. We talked
[7:32] Speaker 1: about this more in the panel. You took this gig
[7:34] Speaker 1: on Real Housewives, which people were like, are you crazy? Yeah?
[7:39] Speaker 2: No, they really did.
[7:40] Speaker 1: Are you crazy?
[7:42] Speaker 4: And what was it?
[7:43] Speaker 5: What was it that?
[7:44] Speaker 1: What was it that made you adamant in your decision making?
[7:48] Speaker 3: You know? It was really it was really so hard
[7:52] Speaker 3: to follow my instinct of my gut on this, and
[7:56] Speaker 3: by the way, I have said adamantly, I've done it
[8:00] Speaker 3: head talk on it. I've talked about my intuition, how
[8:03] Speaker 3: powerful it is. How much I trust it, how I
[8:06] Speaker 3: follow it. I don't take anybody's advice. I don't ask
[8:08] Speaker 3: anybody for their opinions on my life. Like I am
[8:11] Speaker 3: strong in that, but it is also very difficult to
[8:15] Speaker 3: do that, you know, meaning that when people have an
[8:18] Speaker 3: opinion about what you do or who you are, especially
[8:21] Speaker 3: if you respect them. I'm not just talking about the
[8:23] Speaker 3: strangers on the internet. I'm talking about people in my
[8:25] Speaker 3: real life, you know, and not just my mom, but
[8:28] Speaker 3: like you know, my daughter, my friends, my mentors, you know,
[8:33] Speaker 3: people who were successful, who are ahead of me, who
[8:38] Speaker 3: are like, this is a bad idea, you know, and
[8:41] Speaker 3: I'm just like, your voice says yeah, my inner voice
[8:44] Speaker 3: says no, this is this is where you should be going.
[8:46] Speaker 3: But the thing is, it has happened actually quite a
[8:49] Speaker 3: few times in my life where everybody in my life
[8:53] Speaker 3: has advised me against the thing, and I went to
[8:55] Speaker 3: do it anyway, and then it turns out to be successful,
[8:57] Speaker 3: and then they're like, you know what, both you were right,
[9:02] Speaker 3: go ahead, you know. And so it's happening enough times
[9:06] Speaker 3: that I feel drawn to my own will, even in
[9:10] Speaker 3: the face of people doubting it.
[9:12] Speaker 2: But it has it has not caused it has not
[9:15] Speaker 2: not caused me to have fear.
[9:17] Speaker 3: The still you know what I mean, I still have
[9:18] Speaker 3: the fear. I still have the doubt. I'm still like,
[9:20] Speaker 3: what if this time they're right?
[9:23] Speaker 2: Right? What if this time I'm stepping off the ledge
[9:25] Speaker 2: and like I'm gonna fall and hurt myself? And what if?
[9:28] Speaker 3: Yeah, what if I joined the Housewives And it's the
[9:31] Speaker 3: worst decision ever because I'm going in with the intention
[9:35] Speaker 3: of telling my story from my perspective, adding a corporate
[9:40] Speaker 3: baddy to the roster of women who are rich and
[9:44] Speaker 3: successful and like having the best time ever. I'm like, yo,
[9:47] Speaker 3: I want to represent my people. But what if it's terrible?
[9:50] Speaker 3: What if it make me look awful? What if like
[9:53] Speaker 3: this Hall of Fame career comes crashing down because I
[9:56] Speaker 3: did Reality TV? You know, Just the other day, some
[10:00] Speaker 3: body on threads, Uh, there's a debate going on about
[10:06] Speaker 3: Emma Greed and her book, right, and I'm a defender
[10:10] Speaker 3: of her philosophy, And somebody said it was something I'm
[10:15] Speaker 3: gonna paraphrase, but it was something like, yeah, she's talking
[10:19] Speaker 3: so big, but she still ended up on Reality TV.
[10:23] Speaker 3: They're talking about me, And I was like, is.
[10:25] Speaker 1: That a dig.
[10:26] Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think it's a dig.
[10:30] Speaker 3: This song a little bit, because I was just like, wait,
[10:32] Speaker 3: hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's not you know,
[10:34] Speaker 3: let's not trash everything, like you know, that's that's not
[10:38] Speaker 3: beneath me. And I don't believe any of the women
[10:42] Speaker 3: who are participating in any of these shows are beneath
[10:45] Speaker 3: me or beneath us. You know, they don't have a
[10:48] Speaker 3: lower standard. They happened to showcase a certain type of
[10:51] Speaker 3: life and a you know, a certain type of their
[10:53] Speaker 3: personality that sometimes is not always the greatest. But I
[10:57] Speaker 3: do have I feel like there's redemption.
[10:59] Speaker 4: Hello, my friends.
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[12:01] Speaker 1: But there's also like a new found I would imagine
[12:04] Speaker 1: for you because it's the same thing with Emma. We
[12:06] Speaker 1: had Emma on the pod, and it's like it's one
[12:08] Speaker 1: thing to be a successful business woman and you operate
[12:11] Speaker 1: within the walls. How you do you learn your lessons?
[12:14] Speaker 1: You mentor people privately, or you do ted talk, so
[12:17] Speaker 1: you do things to a world of people who want
[12:20] Speaker 1: that information. It's different when you cross over into a
[12:23] Speaker 1: mainstream platform. Yes, those same opinions don't.
[12:28] Speaker 2: Yes, you nail head, Yes, right, yeah, yeah, So I think.
[12:35] Speaker 3: That's some of the complication that Emma is facing, enormous,
[12:39] Speaker 3: enormous complication.
[12:40] Speaker 1: And I wonder for you too, which I would like
[12:42] Speaker 1: to talk about what's happening to Emma and the fact
[12:44] Speaker 1: that you're choosing to defend or to support. Yeah, but
[12:48] Speaker 1: have you experienced any of that like shifts and because
[12:51] Speaker 1: now you're a public figure in a.
[12:53] Speaker 3: Different different way, and you are so right, I think
[12:56] Speaker 3: that's a missing concept and idea. And again, let's to
[13:00] Speaker 3: be honest, I was not aware that there was a difference.
[13:03] Speaker 3: I know, this sounds so like probably naive because you.
[13:06] Speaker 1: Had never experienced.
[13:07] Speaker 3: No, I didn't know that, Okay, there was a difference
[13:10] Speaker 3: between being public in a business format and being public
[13:14] Speaker 3: in pop culture, you know, and that the same sort
[13:18] Speaker 3: of respect that I have in the business world may
[13:20] Speaker 3: not carry over. I'd be teaching people again about me
[13:25] Speaker 3: and maybe they wouldn't agree. And that was a shock
[13:28] Speaker 3: because I was like, wait, hold on, but I have
[13:30] Speaker 3: all of these credentials and all of these receipts, and
[13:32] Speaker 3: why would you question that.
[13:34] Speaker 1: You know?
[13:34] Speaker 3: Yeah? And then also I think part of the issue
[13:38] Speaker 3: that I am currently having with anyone's sort of like
[13:43] Speaker 3: dismissal of Emmagreed's success and therefore her book and her
[13:47] Speaker 3: advice is that they haven't been there. So how could
[13:52] Speaker 3: you criticize what she's telling you? You know, she's not
[13:56] Speaker 3: coming from a place of theory. I have a lot
[13:58] Speaker 3: of problems with people who teach things based on theory,
[14:02] Speaker 3: you know, like all of these gurus that are out there,
[14:04] Speaker 3: they're trying to tell you how to be successful in business,
[14:07] Speaker 3: but have never occupied a c sweet job.
[14:09] Speaker 2: I'm literally, what the fuck do you know?
[14:11] Speaker 1: What are you talk? Showed me you don't have any receipts.
[14:17] Speaker 3: We have a woman who has not only succeeded in
[14:22] Speaker 3: creating multiple billion dollar businesses, but she is generous enough
[14:28] Speaker 3: to tell your ass how to do it. And then
[14:30] Speaker 3: you want to turn around and be like, nah, I
[14:32] Speaker 3: don't think.
[14:33] Speaker 2: So now she know what?
[14:39] Speaker 1: But it's funny because I was looking at some of
[14:42] Speaker 1: the debate and you imposted a clip about this part.
[14:44] Speaker 1: There was like a lot of like a discourse around
[14:46] Speaker 1: her saying working from home it was okay not And
[14:49] Speaker 1: then I saw I saw other people's arguments about why
[14:53] Speaker 1: that is problematic, and I honestly can understand both sides
[14:56] Speaker 1: of the story. And it's because Emma wasn't saying you
[15:00] Speaker 1: should never people should never work from home. She was
[15:02] Speaker 1: just letting, hey, guys, if you want to cut through,
[15:04] Speaker 1: here's some of the problems with that, you should be
[15:06] Speaker 1: aware aware of.
[15:07] Speaker 2: That's right.
[15:08] Speaker 1: So that's her takes. But when it goes on a
[15:11] Speaker 1: clip on these huge platforms and there's a and there's
[15:14] Speaker 1: women sitting home who are like fighting their bosses to
[15:17] Speaker 1: be able to do it from home, because I do
[15:19] Speaker 1: understand both sides of that. So I do think it's
[15:22] Speaker 1: it's like who is your audience and what are you saying?
[15:25] Speaker 1: And having to be more careful about clips and and.
[15:31] Speaker 6: Explaining you can't you can't control the clips, and but
[15:35] Speaker 6: I do understand how this happened, but I wish people
[15:38] Speaker 6: had a bandwidth to actually understand context and totality.
[15:43] Speaker 3: She wrote three hundred and fifty pages and you're talking
[15:46] Speaker 3: about a thirty second clip.
[15:48] Speaker 2: I'm like, y'all, come on, like you got to read
[15:50] Speaker 2: the whole thing.
[15:51] Speaker 3: Critical thinking guys, you know what I mean, like analysis,
[15:56] Speaker 3: because what she's talking about is complicated.
[15:59] Speaker 2: She's saying that like, oh, there shouldn't be any flexibility
[16:02] Speaker 2: or that the world is right.
[16:04] Speaker 1: You know that there's not other reasons why women are
[16:06] Speaker 1: held back at correct.
[16:07] Speaker 3: I'm not saying that. She's saying, Hey, this is a
[16:09] Speaker 3: truth about the situation. Okay, you want advancement, you need proximity.
[16:16] Speaker 2: That is not a lie.
[16:18] Speaker 3: You want to be in the C suite, you can't
[16:20] Speaker 3: do it sitting at home, not close to the CEO. Now,
[16:24] Speaker 3: obviously there are global jobs. There are jobs that require
[16:28] Speaker 3: you to be in a different place from your boss.
[16:31] Speaker 3: Everybody understands that. Then figure out a way to get proximity.
[16:35] Speaker 3: So if you're working from home, don't think that you
[16:37] Speaker 3: just click on the camera for every meeting and then
[16:40] Speaker 3: you go slink back and do whatever you're doing at home.
[16:43] Speaker 3: Right Like, Yes, you're in your spreadsheet, you're in your
[16:46] Speaker 3: documents and your solo and then you only pop up
[16:50] Speaker 3: for the meetings that are required of you. Nosis you
[16:52] Speaker 3: got to do more than that. So if you can't
[16:54] Speaker 3: be there in person, then figure out how to get
[16:57] Speaker 3: close to the boss quickly and in more than just
[17:00] Speaker 3: the showing up on the meetings and have your camera
[17:02] Speaker 3: off too.
[17:03] Speaker 2: By the way, let me add that in there.
[17:05] Speaker 3: Because the challenge is that, like, this is the truth
[17:07] Speaker 3: of the environment that we're currently in. Additionally, and this
[17:12] Speaker 3: is again the part of the nuance that is missing.
[17:14] Speaker 3: I'm like, look, we've done our part. Okay, we knocked
[17:19] Speaker 3: down a part of the wall from the women before
[17:21] Speaker 3: us who couldn't have even imagined the successes that we
[17:25] Speaker 3: have right now right like they can't those women could
[17:29] Speaker 3: never have even imagined the things that we've been able
[17:31] Speaker 3: to push forward. So now it's your turn, and we're
[17:34] Speaker 3: giving you the keys so you know how to operate
[17:36] Speaker 3: right now. And then you knocked down the wall. But
[17:39] Speaker 3: people are expecting they're like, not only did we knock
[17:42] Speaker 3: down the old walls, we also knocked down new walls.
[17:45] Speaker 1: We are I'm like, but because this is what happens,
[17:50] Speaker 1: everything is so like I don't know, box into what
[17:54] Speaker 1: the clip headline is and then people respond to just
[17:57] Speaker 1: to that. But if we are talking nuance and bigger picture,
[18:00] Speaker 1: also understand the other side of that argument. I'd imagine
[18:02] Speaker 1: that you could understand that where you know other people
[18:05] Speaker 1: are that was some of the arguments that I saw
[18:07] Speaker 1: other people are listening. So yes, So when you're arguing
[18:10] Speaker 1: with your boss to be able to work from home,
[18:12] Speaker 1: because that makes sense in whatever the situation that is.
[18:15] Speaker 1: And they're fighting you because for whatever reason, like Emma.
[18:18] Speaker 2: Said, em said, I get that.
[18:20] Speaker 1: And now you have a platform that's bigger, and you're
[18:24] Speaker 1: not just talking to women who want to succeed in business.
[18:26] Speaker 1: Now you're talking to everybody. And then so your words
[18:29] Speaker 1: have so much more weight.
[18:31] Speaker 3: Yeah, but can we say the quiet part out loud? Yes,
[18:35] Speaker 3: your boss believes you should be at the office anyway.
[18:38] Speaker 2: M hmm. So Emma and I are telling you what
[18:43] Speaker 2: your boss is probably not going to tell you out loud.
[18:46] Speaker 3: They're gonna yes you okay, but then you you're gonna say,
[18:49] Speaker 3: but then you and Emma saying it, it gives that boss.
[18:53] Speaker 1: He sticks his chest, He sticks his chest.
[18:56] Speaker 2: Out, was already out. Those are what your girls, Chess
[18:59] Speaker 2: was already out. But you're not seeing it.
[19:02] Speaker 3: Okay, he's already under the impression that you are not
[19:07] Speaker 3: doing enough being at home. He's already under that impression.
[19:10] Speaker 3: Believe me, your boss is not listening to us two
[19:14] Speaker 3: black women and being like, yes, that's what they said,
[19:18] Speaker 3: people do that.
[19:18] Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, there's the thing right, So maybe he's not
[19:22] Speaker 1: and maybe it's not. But the women are now putting
[19:26] Speaker 1: you guys in position, yeah, of being a voice for
[19:31] Speaker 1: which is different than what you guys have had to
[19:33] Speaker 1: do before. Yes, before it was just like uplifted, let
[19:35] Speaker 1: me put you on, let me show you this, bla
[19:37] Speaker 1: blah blah.
[19:37] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[19:37] Speaker 1: But now you've because of your platforms becoming so large. Yeah,
[19:43] Speaker 1: the voice is more important.
[19:46] Speaker 2: Yes.
[19:46] Speaker 3: And so here's the thing is that we could either
[19:50] Speaker 3: right be quiet about it and not tell you the
[19:54] Speaker 3: truth and believe me. Also, I hope Emma doesn't get
[19:56] Speaker 3: mad me for telling you this and saying it out loud.
[19:58] Speaker 3: But I did talk to her about that, you know.
[20:02] Speaker 3: I was like, hey, look, if they don't appreciate it,
[20:04] Speaker 3: shut the fuck up, don't talk. And then we sat
[20:09] Speaker 3: there and looked at each other and we're like, nah,
[20:11] Speaker 3: but we can't do that. It's like because the thing
[20:15] Speaker 3: is that, look, people are gonna be mad at you
[20:16] Speaker 3: when you tell the truth.
[20:17] Speaker 2: They always are. It happens to every single messenger.
[20:21] Speaker 1: So and this is like one thing. Yeah it is,
[20:25] Speaker 1: but they do they share, but there and there are.
[20:27] Speaker 3: So many truths that are hard to say out loud,
[20:32] Speaker 3: you know, there are And also again Another thing that
[20:35] Speaker 3: I should probably not say out loud is that, like.
[20:37] Speaker 2: Look, there are a lot of people who come before us.
[20:42] Speaker 3: Who didn't say anything, who didn't tell you this, who
[20:47] Speaker 3: didn't tell you the truth about what they're actually thinking,
[20:49] Speaker 3: and then you have to find out the hard.
[20:51] Speaker 2: Way, you know.
[20:52] Speaker 3: So yeah, maybe it feels like, hey, look, you're giving
[20:56] Speaker 3: this idea and this platform air because you're also what
[21:00] Speaker 3: they're saying. But my point is that, like I'm actually
[21:03] Speaker 3: not parroting what they're saying. I'm just saying it in
[21:04] Speaker 3: a way that you're gonna hear it because they've been
[21:07] Speaker 3: telling you that you're just not listening.
[21:09] Speaker 1: What are the other things that they don't tell women?
[21:13] Speaker 1: We need a whole podcast.
[21:14] Speaker 2: We need a whole podcast for that.
[21:16] Speaker 3: You know. Let's not even start talk about money and
[21:18] Speaker 3: how to like ask for promotions and get raises, because
[21:21] Speaker 3: it's not just proximity, you know.
[21:23] Speaker 2: Some of it is like our own unwillingness to go
[21:27] Speaker 2: before we are ready.
[21:29] Speaker 1: You know.
[21:29] Speaker 3: It's like, look, you know how many times I sat
[21:31] Speaker 3: in my office as a C suite executive and men
[21:35] Speaker 3: who had just started working, white men in particular, who
[21:38] Speaker 3: had just started working in the job like three months
[21:40] Speaker 3: came into my office, so they needed to raise with
[21:44] Speaker 3: no problem, no problem, and they had proof. They'd have
[21:48] Speaker 3: receipts and be like, in the last ninety days, this
[21:50] Speaker 3: is what I've.
[21:50] Speaker 2: Been able to achieve.
[21:52] Speaker 3: Sometimes they weren't wrong, by the way, but I think
[21:55] Speaker 3: women actually do it better and faster. And then do
[21:59] Speaker 3: you know how many times I would tell like a
[22:01] Speaker 3: woman who was maybe a peer or something to that
[22:04] Speaker 3: guy and been like, you know, homeboy over here by
[22:07] Speaker 3: the way, under threat of hr homeboy came into my
[22:10] Speaker 3: office he said he needed a raise. She'd be like,
[22:13] Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, girl, he did, and he had proof,
[22:16] Speaker 3: and this proof is right what you got. And she'd
[22:19] Speaker 3: be like, oh man, all right.
[22:20] Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come. And then
[22:23] Speaker 2: never came, and I'm like, I can't sit in my
[22:26] Speaker 2: office just be like, Okay, you know she gets a raise.
[22:28] Speaker 2: You know, you gotta do your part. You gotta come too.
[22:32] Speaker 3: And so there's all kinds of But the problem is
[22:34] Speaker 3: that like if I say that out loud, which I
[22:36] Speaker 3: actually just have, she's gonna say, oh, well, but this
[22:40] Speaker 3: is you know, I need merit based promotions and raises
[22:45] Speaker 3: and it's unfair that Chad over there comes into your
[22:49] Speaker 3: office and after three months tells you he needs a raise,
[22:51] Speaker 3: and then you give him one.
[22:52] Speaker 2: And I'm sitting here. You can see I'm doing the work.
[22:54] Speaker 2: He he didn't give me the raise. Girl, you gotta
[22:57] Speaker 2: get up and do your part. You gotta do it.
[23:00] Speaker 2: And it's not enough for you to just sit there. Yeah,
[23:04] Speaker 2: why do we do that?
[23:04] Speaker 1: What is that about? I don't know what I would
[23:08] Speaker 1: what I do I would also like to offer to people,
[23:10] Speaker 1: is that, like, you know, it's okay to say what
[23:14] Speaker 1: that one part of what somebody said doesn't work for me? Yeah,
[23:18] Speaker 1: and not dismissed their whole things, like you don't you
[23:22] Speaker 1: don't have to throw somebody away. That's because maybe the
[23:26] Speaker 1: one thing they said you kind of I don't love that.
[23:29] Speaker 1: I think that should have been said to whatever are
[23:31] Speaker 1: you feeling is on whatever?
[23:33] Speaker 3: Like yeah, pretty example of that. We love Steve Harvey. Okay, okay,
[23:38] Speaker 3: let me just start there. Oh God, I love Steve Harvey.
[23:40] Speaker 1: Love Steve.
[23:41] Speaker 3: At one point I saw him do a interview or
[23:46] Speaker 3: he made a statement about how like he hustles so
[23:49] Speaker 3: hard he only gets four hours to sleep a night
[23:51] Speaker 3: and if you want to be successful, you can only
[23:53] Speaker 3: you can only sleep four hours because otherwise you're lazy paraphrasing.
[23:57] Speaker 2: Yeah, And I heard that and I was like, damn,
[24:00] Speaker 2: because I like some sleep. People don't think that, but
[24:03] Speaker 2: I do.
[24:03] Speaker 3: I sleep my full eight hours, you absolutely, and if
[24:07] Speaker 3: I don't get it, I'm horrible. Okay, so I have
[24:10] Speaker 3: to get it. And I heard that, and I was like, damn, well,
[24:13] Speaker 3: how am I gonna do that? Because I'm not actually
[24:15] Speaker 3: useful with just four hours of sleep. I tried and
[24:18] Speaker 3: she wasn't working. So I went back to my eight hours,
[24:20] Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna have
[24:21] Speaker 3: to figure out a way to make whatever other four
[24:24] Speaker 3: hours I said, I spent sleeping like I got a
[24:26] Speaker 3: double time on something else, just so I can prove
[24:28] Speaker 3: the fact that, like, yes, I'm working, I'm working hard.
[24:30] Speaker 3: I gotta double the time when I'm actually wait, you know.
[24:33] Speaker 3: And so then I use that as my motivation to
[24:35] Speaker 3: do more in my waking hours because I realized that, oh,
[24:38] Speaker 3: there's other people out there who are four hours ahead
[24:40] Speaker 3: of me because they're only sleeping four hours because they
[24:42] Speaker 3: took Steve Barvey's advice.
[24:44] Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying, which would have been shit
[24:46] Speaker 1: advice for you, which would have been horrible.
[24:48] Speaker 2: And by the way, I don't throw the man away.
[24:51] Speaker 3: I don't discount his successes. He is incredibly successful.
[24:54] Speaker 2: Like what a shame it.
[24:55] Speaker 1: Would be and still plenty to learn from him.
[24:58] Speaker 3: I'm like, what a shame it would be if I
[25:00] Speaker 3: I just took that and said, ah, he didn't know
[25:01] Speaker 3: what he's talking about his successes. Oh, the only reason
[25:04] Speaker 3: he got is because he's.
[25:05] Speaker 1: A man who no, stop no.
[25:09] Speaker 3: But I'm just saying that, Like I could say that
[25:11] Speaker 3: and I would be wrong. Man, I'd be dead wrong.
[25:15] Speaker 3: My point is you'd be the one thing I'd be
[25:18] Speaker 3: mad about, the one.
[25:18] Speaker 2: Okay, But that's my point.
[25:20] Speaker 3: Is it like sometimes you take advice from people who've
[25:23] Speaker 3: done it and you're like, oh, I can apply that,
[25:25] Speaker 3: And then sometimes you take it you're just like, that
[25:27] Speaker 3: actually doesn't fit me. But let me take the knowledge
[25:30] Speaker 3: that's inside of there and apply in a different way.
[25:33] Speaker 3: So my thought was like, oh, shoot, there are people
[25:35] Speaker 3: who are only sleeping four hours. They have four more
[25:37] Speaker 3: hours in the day than I do, So how am
[25:40] Speaker 3: I gonna spend my sixteen hours in a way that's
[25:44] Speaker 3: going to be even more beneficial. So that just made
[25:47] Speaker 3: me hustle more on the sixteen versus being like, oh,
[25:50] Speaker 3: I gotta have twenty.
[25:52] Speaker 1: To work with. Yeah, we can't do it. Four hours
[25:54] Speaker 1: of sleep is brutal.
[25:55] Speaker 2: I don't know how people do it.
[25:56] Speaker 3: Butless there's a whole army of people decided we're going
[25:59] Speaker 3: to sleep four hours.
[26:00] Speaker 1: I've heard that stuff. We also came we also, like,
[26:03] Speaker 1: I don't know, I was raised in like hustle culture, right,
[26:06] Speaker 1: so everybody then there was I know, there was admiration
[26:11] Speaker 1: for that, and I cried and how much how hard
[26:13] Speaker 1: I hustled it. I didn't sleep and I did this,
[26:16] Speaker 1: and I did this for free at the beginning, and
[26:18] Speaker 1: I did this for this many years. And then at
[26:20] Speaker 1: one point and the second point you get to it's like,
[26:23] Speaker 1: but there's almost so I've switched internally where I don't.
[26:27] Speaker 1: I still work hard, I still try to have, you know,
[26:30] Speaker 1: whatever balance is for me paying attention to it. But
[26:34] Speaker 1: also I feel like there's also it's just culturally it's
[26:39] Speaker 1: not what people want to hear right now.
[26:41] Speaker 3: But guess what, right, but during those years when that
[26:45] Speaker 3: was the way to do it, if you told somebody
[26:47] Speaker 3: you slept eight hours, they'd.
[26:49] Speaker 2: Be like, you lazy ass idiot, you know what I'm saying.
[26:53] Speaker 3: So now, yes, of course our health and wellness is
[26:56] Speaker 3: at the top of conversations. Mental health is at the
[26:58] Speaker 3: top of conversations. That when I started out, you know,
[27:02] Speaker 3: and walking up both ways, there wasn't the conversation didn't exist.
[27:07] Speaker 3: And so yeah, you couldn't have said, like, oh, sleep
[27:09] Speaker 3: eight hours a day and you'll still get to the
[27:11] Speaker 3: top of the mountain.
[27:12] Speaker 2: Nobody would have said that.
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[28:19] Speaker 1: r L. I wonder if our way of dealing with
[28:22] Speaker 1: mental health and wellness at the time was like, uh,
[28:25] Speaker 1: just pouring into We were like workaholics. Yeah, so that
[28:29] Speaker 1: was the vice of choice.
[28:30] Speaker 3: Yeah, we were worry but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but
[28:35] Speaker 3: that's that's why we Yeah, that's the way we dealt
[28:37] Speaker 3: with it. And that's also how we respected people. You know,
[28:41] Speaker 3: if like you worked like that and didn't have a breakdown, then.
[28:45] Speaker 2: You were the winner. Yeah right, is that?
[28:47] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[28:47] Speaker 3: Yeah? But if you work like that and you had
[28:49] Speaker 3: a breakdown, people are like, a, see shoes, we can
[28:51] Speaker 3: anyway get out of here. Yeah.
[28:53] Speaker 1: And do you still work like that?
[28:55] Speaker 2: No, absolutely do not. I work very hard, but like
[28:58] Speaker 2: I said, I used my sixteen hours very well.
[29:01] Speaker 1: Just give me a little insight like to how you
[29:04] Speaker 1: manage that? How do you sleep eight hours every night? Yeah,
[29:07] Speaker 1: You're still very successful in many, many different ways. You're
[29:11] Speaker 1: on boards of charities, your reality show, television shows.
[29:16] Speaker 3: Yeah, engage with two weddings coming up. Yeah, it's like
[29:20] Speaker 3: I got a lot going on. But the thing is that,
[29:23] Speaker 3: like I'm also very scheduled. You're very disciplined in my time,
[29:27] Speaker 3: and so I don't get thrown off course very often
[29:30] Speaker 3: because either I'm anticipating X, Y and Z thing Like
[29:34] Speaker 3: I always tell my team, I'm like, hey, look, the
[29:36] Speaker 3: better planned we are, the more successful we are, you know,
[29:39] Speaker 3: because of course there will be things out thrown into
[29:41] Speaker 3: your day. Your child gets sick or you know, an
[29:44] Speaker 3: appointment cancels, or a deal doesn't come through the time
[29:47] Speaker 3: that you thought it would cut and then you're stuck
[29:50] Speaker 3: because you got to readjust the calendar, readjust your priorities.
[29:53] Speaker 3: But I feel like those are exceptions, and so the
[29:56] Speaker 3: better planned I am, the better I'm able to get
[30:00] Speaker 3: things done. So, yeah, I wake up at five thirty
[30:02] Speaker 3: in the morning, I have about an hour to myself
[30:05] Speaker 3: where I'm praying and thinking and writing down things. I
[30:10] Speaker 3: go to the gym at seven am till eight every
[30:12] Speaker 3: day every day seven days awak six Sundays, I take
[30:15] Speaker 3: off my rest like god.
[30:16] Speaker 1: And then.
[30:19] Speaker 3: Every day without every day with like my hero. Yeah,
[30:22] Speaker 3: seven am, I wish. I wish to have that type
[30:25] Speaker 3: of girl.
[30:25] Speaker 2: I'm out here.
[30:26] Speaker 3: I'm lifted heavy, you know what I mean, get down, frustrations, running,
[30:29] Speaker 3: dual cardio, all the things.
[30:30] Speaker 2: Every day every day eight I'm at home.
[30:33] Speaker 3: My daughter goes to school at ay thirty, so at
[30:35] Speaker 3: least we have those thirty minutes to just make sure she's.
[30:37] Speaker 2: Good for the day.
[30:39] Speaker 3: I get ready by ten am. I'm in front of
[30:42] Speaker 3: my camera, or I'm in a meeting or whatever I do.
[30:46] Speaker 3: My meeting is so about five. Then it's time, you know,
[30:49] Speaker 3: to get to the emails and the other things I
[30:52] Speaker 3: gotta do. I turn off at seven, Off off, what happened?
[30:56] Speaker 3: Can't reach me after that? After seven, after seven o'clock,
[30:59] Speaker 3: you can't really, no matter what's going to matter, what's
[31:01] Speaker 3: going on, you can't reach me unless it's like some
[31:02] Speaker 3: sort of like diary emergency.
[31:04] Speaker 2: The world is burned down. But I've done that for
[31:06] Speaker 2: so many years that people are trained.
[31:09] Speaker 3: They know that, like, you better get to me before
[31:11] Speaker 3: seven pm whatever time zone I'm on. After that, you
[31:15] Speaker 3: can't reach me, and I'm asleep by nine point thirty.
[31:17] Speaker 1: Even now with this new level of like, oh career, no,
[31:21] Speaker 1: no public facing.
[31:23] Speaker 3: Here's the thing, and again, this is why you've got
[31:25] Speaker 3: to add the things in your life that won't allow.
[31:29] Speaker 2: For those breaks to happen.
[31:30] Speaker 3: I don't take dinner meetings, Okay, I don't go to dinners,
[31:34] Speaker 3: and so it's like, if you want to meet with
[31:35] Speaker 3: me over meal, it's gonna be breakfast or lunch, preferably lunch,
[31:38] Speaker 3: because my mornings are busy, you.
[31:40] Speaker 1: Know what I mean.
[31:41] Speaker 3: And so that's how I So it's like, look, if
[31:44] Speaker 3: you if we need to have like people are like, oh,
[31:46] Speaker 3: let's go to let's go grab a bike, let's go
[31:47] Speaker 3: have dinner, I'm like, yes, I'm available for lunch on
[31:50] Speaker 3: the twenty fourth.
[31:52] Speaker 2: Wow, you know what I mean.
[31:53] Speaker 1: And then that's so never dinner with the girls.
[31:56] Speaker 2: I rarely do that. No, I didn't get with the
[31:59] Speaker 2: girl because it just rops my sleeping type. Oh got it,
[32:01] Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
[32:02] Speaker 3: Because I've got to unwind from the day, and so
[32:05] Speaker 3: at seven o'clock I need to start unwinding. Otherwise, how
[32:07] Speaker 3: am I going to be asleep by nine thirty?
[32:08] Speaker 1: What is the unwinding? Like? What how do you do that?
[32:10] Speaker 2: Wine?
[32:11] Speaker 1: Wine on TV?
[32:13] Speaker 2: Wine and DV and social media?
[32:15] Speaker 3: And you know, maybe I'll probably make some kids out
[32:18] Speaker 3: with your kids, hang out with my kid. I'll make
[32:20] Speaker 3: some phone calls with some friends. But like the girl
[32:23] Speaker 3: time where you're like sitting and you're chatting and all
[32:25] Speaker 3: that that happens.
[32:26] Speaker 2: On Sundays, you do it Sunday. Yeah, it's like you know,
[32:29] Speaker 2: we're going to brunch or fascinating.
[32:32] Speaker 3: Yeah, but I have to be disciplined in that way
[32:34] Speaker 3: because otherwise I won't get done all the things I
[32:37] Speaker 3: need to get done, and I have to focus.
[32:39] Speaker 1: You could squeeze into dinner at six no, no, because
[32:41] Speaker 1: you're still in work mode because you're only un till
[32:43] Speaker 1: seven times.
[32:44] Speaker 2: Yeah, some still work mode. But the thing is that,
[32:47] Speaker 2: like I feel like at this point again, sometimes there
[32:50] Speaker 2: are exceptions.
[32:51] Speaker 1: But how long have you been living?
[32:53] Speaker 3: For?
[32:54] Speaker 2: Years?
[32:55] Speaker 3: Years?
[32:55] Speaker 2: Maybe a decade?
[32:57] Speaker 1: Wow?
[32:58] Speaker 2: Yeah, probably a decade?
[33:00] Speaker 1: Does it piss people off? Sometimes we all like date
[33:03] Speaker 1: nights and stuff.
[33:05] Speaker 2: Girl, So here's the thing. I really I do like
[33:10] Speaker 2: date night. But Sunday, Yeah, Sunday.
[33:15] Speaker 3: And look the thing is like, I am also a homebody,
[33:17] Speaker 3: so I prefer that we do the date at home.
[33:20] Speaker 3: And it probably sounds crazy, but it's like, yeah, let's
[33:23] Speaker 3: see it did. Let's sit on the couch. You know,
[33:25] Speaker 3: we know, we can say whatever we want. We don't
[33:27] Speaker 3: have the waiter come interrupt us.
[33:29] Speaker 2: Like, no, we stay comfied.
[33:31] Speaker 1: You know, you are not out in these streets.
[33:32] Speaker 2: I'm really not.
[33:33] Speaker 1: No.
[33:34] Speaker 3: And what's what's really crazy is that when I was working,
[33:38] Speaker 3: especially in the entertainment business, as you well know, so
[33:40] Speaker 3: many things happen in those late hours in early mornings, right,
[33:46] Speaker 3: but I just didn't participate. Wow.
[33:49] Speaker 1: You know.
[33:49] Speaker 3: So it's like again, you got to train people to
[33:52] Speaker 3: where you are. And in the early part of my
[33:55] Speaker 3: career was really tough because I was in the one
[33:57] Speaker 3: controlling the time. You know. It's like if if I
[34:00] Speaker 3: wanted to go meet with the head of a label
[34:02] Speaker 3: and they were like, come meet meet for dinner at seven,
[34:05] Speaker 3: sometimes you know you just have like, all right, let
[34:07] Speaker 3: me go do that, you know. But eventually I started getting,
[34:10] Speaker 3: you know, the courage to say I can't do seven.
[34:13] Speaker 2: Could we have lunch? And you would not how many
[34:16] Speaker 2: times people be like.
[34:16] Speaker 3: Oh, okay, you had no problem, because people are just
[34:19] Speaker 3: they're saying it per their schedule. But if you suggest
[34:22] Speaker 3: a different time, sometimes they'll be like okay. Or I'd
[34:25] Speaker 3: be like, can I catch you before your first meeting?
[34:27] Speaker 3: Can I come like coffee or like a breakfast or
[34:30] Speaker 3: something like that, And people always will be like sure.
[34:33] Speaker 1: Isn't that interesting? And it reminds me of something else
[34:36] Speaker 1: that I was going to talk to you about, because
[34:37] Speaker 1: I think there's something really big women miss and want
[34:40] Speaker 1: successful women or women who have been successful not just
[34:43] Speaker 1: in business, successful in relationship or finding a good partner.
[34:46] Speaker 1: It's like setting the intention and setting your rules and
[34:51] Speaker 1: kind of not bending that. To me, Yes, there's something
[34:54] Speaker 1: too that You have a story in your book about
[34:56] Speaker 1: meeting your husband for the first time. Oh yeah, and
[34:58] Speaker 1: he tried to ask you for a date. You were like,
[35:00] Speaker 1: you want to go on a date with me? Go
[35:01] Speaker 1: read this book. This is my favorite book. Read it
[35:04] Speaker 1: and you're like, ha ha ha, right, they'll never come back,
[35:06] Speaker 1: they'll never come back. But in that moment, not only
[35:08] Speaker 1: did he do it and then come back, yeah, you
[35:10] Speaker 1: kind of set the tone of what type of gesture
[35:13] Speaker 1: you would expect for a man to be in your life.
[35:16] Speaker 3: That is correct, right, absolutely absolutely, And so.
[35:21] Speaker 1: Even in that or even the women coming in not
[35:23] Speaker 1: coming into your office asking for money, yeah, they're not
[35:26] Speaker 1: setting the expect they're not reaching what they feel like
[35:30] Speaker 1: they deserve. And it's not just in business, it's like
[35:33] Speaker 1: in your person, in your relationships.
[35:35] Speaker 3: And yes, I mean, look, I don't remember who said it,
[35:38] Speaker 3: but somebody was just like, you know, you got to
[35:39] Speaker 3: teach people how to treat you. Yes, like that's it
[35:42] Speaker 3: works for everything. It does work in business, and it
[35:45] Speaker 3: works in your personal life too. So yeah, I mean
[35:47] Speaker 3: I think for sure you have to let people meet
[35:51] Speaker 3: you where you are, don't come down to where they are.
[35:55] Speaker 1: You know.
[35:56] Speaker 3: So yeah, So whether it's the business meeting that somebody's like, oh,
[35:59] Speaker 3: let's go have dinner and I'm like, no, I prefer
[36:00] Speaker 3: lunch and saying that even though I'm not the one
[36:03] Speaker 3: in charge, you know what I mean, And how many
[36:06] Speaker 3: times they will just agree and then there you go,
[36:08] Speaker 3: Now you have your thing. And so it's like the
[36:11] Speaker 3: business person now they know that, like, oh, Bose only
[36:13] Speaker 3: does lunch, and so they won't ask you to dinner
[36:16] Speaker 3: and that's okay because I want to be outside anyway.
[36:19] Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
[36:19] Speaker 3: Or yes, telling my late husband that like, look, I
[36:23] Speaker 3: need you to go read this book if you want
[36:25] Speaker 3: to have a conversation with me, because I don't understand
[36:27] Speaker 3: where you are psychologically and whether or not you're even
[36:29] Speaker 3: smart enough to keep up.
[36:30] Speaker 1: With me, you know.
[36:32] Speaker 3: And even now my current fiance, like on our third
[36:36] Speaker 3: day when he asked me out, I was like, oh,
[36:38] Speaker 3: I'm gonna be Angana.
[36:38] Speaker 2: If you want to go on a day, you have
[36:39] Speaker 2: to come there. And he got on a plane. Okay,
[36:42] Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
[36:43] Speaker 3: It's like you gotta put that there. And by the way,
[36:47] Speaker 3: maybe they don't rise to the occasion and you're like, nah,
[36:50] Speaker 3: all right, maybe I'll give up another chance. I'm not
[36:52] Speaker 3: even saying there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying
[36:54] Speaker 3: they're like, girl, you know, don't change your plans.
[36:57] Speaker 1: Yeah, at least yourself the opportunity to be operating and
[37:03] Speaker 1: have everybody in your orbit operating at a level that
[37:06] Speaker 1: at a level that works for you. Yeah, it works
[37:07] Speaker 1: for you.
[37:08] Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean, because otherwise it's it's
[37:10] Speaker 3: actually not going to work. And again that is why
[37:13] Speaker 3: I feel like I'm so efficient in my sixteen hours
[37:16] Speaker 3: because I'm operating solely based on what works for me.
[37:20] Speaker 3: And yes, I will make exceptions when it's necessary, but
[37:23] Speaker 3: believe me, they are exceptions.
[37:25] Speaker 2: It is not the rule.
[37:26] Speaker 1: No, I believe you.
[37:26] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, I totally yeah, exactly, like you know,
[37:31] Speaker 2: so you know, now, let's not go for drinks.
[37:33] Speaker 1: I am deeply inspired by your discipline. Yeah, I yearned
[37:38] Speaker 1: to have that. I have this one thing I'm working
[37:39] Speaker 1: on myself on right now because yes, I know it's
[37:42] Speaker 1: the difference for me. Yeah, I know, getting up early,
[37:45] Speaker 1: going to the gym, being this something about sleep, yes,
[37:47] Speaker 1: sleep sleep, So I know it's really going to be
[37:51] Speaker 1: a big difference. I just have it all the way shifted.
[37:54] Speaker 2: Do you have an accountability partner?
[37:56] Speaker 1: No?
[37:56] Speaker 3: One?
[37:57] Speaker 1: Yeah you want to be it?
[37:57] Speaker 2: Yeah you have time for that, girl, I will. I'll
[38:01] Speaker 2: put it on my calendar.
[38:03] Speaker 1: What does that look like?
[38:06] Speaker 2: Do you have one?
[38:07] Speaker 1: Oh?
[38:07] Speaker 2: What my calendar?
[38:08] Speaker 3: No?
[38:08] Speaker 1: An accountability partner?
[38:09] Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah for me for my life?
[38:12] Speaker 3: Oh?
[38:12] Speaker 2: Absolutely? Yeah? What do they do? But a number of things,
[38:15] Speaker 2: like what is the role?
[38:15] Speaker 1: Maybe that is my problem I've never had. I've never
[38:18] Speaker 1: had exactly.
[38:19] Speaker 2: Well, Okay.
[38:19] Speaker 3: So now the other trick is you got to have
[38:21] Speaker 3: accountability partners that are actually gonna do the thing that
[38:23] Speaker 3: you want, you know what I mean. You can't just
[38:25] Speaker 3: be one. You can't just be the one for everything,
[38:27] Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So people have certain like
[38:31] Speaker 3: they have talents in certain areas. Right, my accountability partner
[38:35] Speaker 3: for the gym is my trainer.
[38:37] Speaker 1: Oh will you pay him?
[38:38] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[38:39] Speaker 2: But like, but there are people who are able to
[38:41] Speaker 2: get up and just go to the gym without somebody.
[38:43] Speaker 2: I can't do that.
[38:44] Speaker 3: No, I need somebody who's gonna yell at me or
[38:46] Speaker 3: I know that, like if I'm five minutes late, they're
[38:48] Speaker 3: gonna be pissed and make me run an extra half mile,
[38:50] Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So even though it's like, yes,
[38:52] Speaker 3: I pay my trainer, he is my accountability partner, and
[38:55] Speaker 3: that has to work, Like.
[38:57] Speaker 2: It doesn't work any other way.
[38:58] Speaker 3: What you're telling me, you could do that, But there
[39:00] Speaker 3: are some people who like they don't feel like they
[39:02] Speaker 3: need a trainer because they don't want to pay the
[39:04] Speaker 3: extra money and they have discipline enough to get up
[39:06] Speaker 3: and go to the gym and work out themselves. And
[39:08] Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't have that, and so I do
[39:10] Speaker 3: need him as an accountability partner or one of my girlfriends.
[39:14] Speaker 2: She Oh my gosh, she's the she is wonderful at
[39:19] Speaker 2: self care.
[39:20] Speaker 1: You know.
[39:21] Speaker 3: She's the one who's like, hey, somebody we know or not.
[39:24] Speaker 3: I know, I don't think you no, no, no, But
[39:26] Speaker 3: she's great at self care, like meaning that she is
[39:30] Speaker 3: going to, you know, do the the meditation, meditation and
[39:37] Speaker 3: some massages that aren't just like you know, like flighty,
[39:40] Speaker 3: but it's like the tissue.
[39:42] Speaker 1: You know.
[39:42] Speaker 3: She's the one who's gonna call me on Sunday, you know,
[39:45] Speaker 3: or maybe on Saturday, I say, hey, look, you need it.
[39:48] Speaker 3: Did you schedule like deep body work because you need
[39:51] Speaker 3: that that acupuncture?
[39:52] Speaker 2: Did you get it done?
[39:53] Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
[39:54] Speaker 3: Because I need somebody like that, even though it's on
[39:56] Speaker 3: my calendar. I'm gonna need somebody to tell me that
[39:59] Speaker 3: I've got to do it, you know.
[40:00] Speaker 1: So there's just that's good different people. Are you that
[40:03] Speaker 1: for anybody? Oh? Yeah, a lot of people.
[40:05] Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, you know what.
[40:06] Speaker 3: My my big my big trick, my big talent is budgeting.
[40:10] Speaker 3: I'm really really good at that, like money. Yeah, And
[40:14] Speaker 3: so I have quite a few friends that I've made
[40:17] Speaker 3: budgets for.
[40:20] Speaker 2: And we we share. We share it in my.
[40:22] Speaker 1: Life because I need a budget and I need all
[40:24] Speaker 1: I need a wellness ability partner.
[40:27] Speaker 3: It can be both, no, but for real, like, I
[40:31] Speaker 3: will create the budget, and you know, it's like, girl,
[40:33] Speaker 3: you gotta be honest though I'm dealing with you, know
[40:35] Speaker 3: what I mean.
[40:35] Speaker 2: You gotta tell me.
[40:36] Speaker 3: It's like, hey, look, no, you don't want to say
[40:38] Speaker 3: how much you spent on shopping, but you got to
[40:40] Speaker 3: tell me. You don't want to tell me how much
[40:41] Speaker 3: you spent on your looker, but you got to tell me.
[40:43] Speaker 3: And you know, then I work it out and then
[40:45] Speaker 3: we share the sheet and I can see what you're doing.
[40:47] Speaker 3: You're a really good friend to your friends, are I am?
[40:50] Speaker 2: Yeah? I love my friends. Yeah yeah, longtime friends too.
[40:53] Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you must have chosen.
[40:54] Speaker 2: Well, Oh my gosh, I have. I have so many
[40:57] Speaker 2: friends that I've known for decades.
[41:00] Speaker 1: Mm hm.
[41:01] Speaker 3: You know that I still hold very very close. It's
[41:04] Speaker 3: such a it's really such a blessing. But then they
[41:07] Speaker 3: all fight because they everybody thinks they're my best friend.
[41:10] Speaker 3: And I'm like, but there's like twelve of you.
[41:13] Speaker 1: Wait, so where are all twelve, So you're going to
[41:17] Speaker 1: do a wedding.
[41:18] Speaker 3: Oh my god, are you going to ask me that
[41:20] Speaker 3: question about the bridesmaids? Is that what you're gonna say?
[41:22] Speaker 3: It is a current issue that I have. It's a
[41:25] Speaker 3: big problem.
[41:26] Speaker 1: I was tapping in. I felt that.
[41:27] Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you could feel it. It's a big problem
[41:29] Speaker 3: because there's so many want to be the are you
[41:31] Speaker 3: kidding me? They have they have a group chat called
[41:33] Speaker 3: the Actual Besties that they put me in because they
[41:37] Speaker 3: get pissed off when I call somebody else a bestie.
[41:39] Speaker 1: That's funny.
[41:40] Speaker 2: Yeah, And so they all expect to be in the
[41:42] Speaker 2: wedding party. And I'm like, oh, so wait.
[41:45] Speaker 1: This is first of all, your ability to not have
[41:49] Speaker 1: like love trauma. Oh I'm sure you have so, but
[41:54] Speaker 1: it hasn't It hasn't stifled you. It hasn't stopped you
[41:58] Speaker 1: or paralyzed you from trying it again.
[42:01] Speaker 3: You mean like romantic love? Yeah, oh yeah, no, No,
[42:04] Speaker 3: it's terrible. I've had to have a lot of therapy. Yeah,
[42:08] Speaker 3: a lot of therapy.
[42:08] Speaker 1: So if you haven't read her book, which you guys should,
[42:11] Speaker 1: she had a lost young in life at twenty one,
[42:15] Speaker 1: a boyfriend who took his own life. Yeah, and you're
[42:19] Speaker 1: still storytelling around that was, oh who's you know? And
[42:23] Speaker 1: I felt that Yeah, but you you even to the
[42:26] Speaker 1: loss of that moment, Ben right, Yeah, Ben, you still
[42:31] Speaker 1: went and you still got married to and then the
[42:34] Speaker 1: marriage was you were separated, so that wasn't working. Then
[42:38] Speaker 1: if that wasn't enough, then you lost your husband. Yeah,
[42:41] Speaker 1: and then you still Yeah, get back on the horse.
[42:45] Speaker 3: I know. Well, some of it is uh being a
[42:50] Speaker 3: deep romantic m hm. You know, really, I really do
[42:54] Speaker 3: believe in love. I love love, but also a lot
[42:57] Speaker 3: of therapy.
[42:58] Speaker 1: Yeah. But also is it scary?
[43:00] Speaker 3: Oh, It's very scary. It's very scary because I'm like,
[43:03] Speaker 3: anything could happen.
[43:04] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[43:05] Speaker 3: Yo, It's like I've said it a million times. I'll
[43:08] Speaker 3: say it again now, I don't want to be in
[43:10] Speaker 3: the front row of the of a church for funeral ever.
[43:13] Speaker 1: Again.
[43:14] Speaker 3: I've talked to God about it quite a bit, you
[43:17] Speaker 3: know that, I just I just don't. I don't want
[43:19] Speaker 3: to be in that pew. And and then gosh, I'm
[43:24] Speaker 3: talking about this out loud, but I do hear God
[43:28] Speaker 3: very clearly. And his response to me was like, so
[43:31] Speaker 3: do you want to die first?
[43:33] Speaker 2: And I was like, well, no, I didn't say that,
[43:37] Speaker 2: like you want to go down. I still got things
[43:40] Speaker 2: to do, you know, But like, it's just it sucks.
[43:44] Speaker 2: It is the worst. It is awful, and at the
[43:47] Speaker 2: same time, I don't I don't want to spend my
[43:50] Speaker 2: life without love.
[43:52] Speaker 1: Mhmm.
[43:53] Speaker 3: It's such a So you do it with the fear.
[43:55] Speaker 3: You just do it with it with the fear. Do
[43:57] Speaker 3: with the fear and hopefully some of the lessons. You know,
[44:00] Speaker 3: I know one thing for sure, given what I dealt
[44:04] Speaker 3: with with my husband in our separation, that I won't
[44:10] Speaker 3: make those mistakes again. You know, I won't take the
[44:13] Speaker 3: relationship for granted. You know that I will fight for
[44:16] Speaker 3: it in ways I didn't fight for my first marriage.
[44:19] Speaker 3: And that's what makes me feel like, Okay, let me
[44:21] Speaker 3: do it again, let me.
[44:21] Speaker 1: Get back on the horse.
[44:22] Speaker 2: See.
[44:23] Speaker 1: But how does that show up? Because I'm sure you're
[44:25] Speaker 1: not the only woman who's dealt with loss and grief.
[44:28] Speaker 1: I mean, you know people deal with that old time
[44:31] Speaker 1: widows who are don't even know how to get back
[44:34] Speaker 1: on the horses, can't even imagine getting back.
[44:36] Speaker 3: Or people who like are divorced and they were cheated
[44:39] Speaker 3: on or betrayal in some other way.
[44:41] Speaker 2: Like how do you trust somebody again?
[44:42] Speaker 1: You know?
[44:43] Speaker 3: And I actually do think that it's all seated from
[44:45] Speaker 3: the same place is trust, you know, because I have
[44:48] Speaker 3: to trust that this man won't die on me, not
[44:52] Speaker 3: because of his own doing, but just trust in general right,
[44:54] Speaker 3: trust of God, trusted the universe, trust.
[44:56] Speaker 2: Of medical care. And then there's some people who have
[45:00] Speaker 2: to trust that this person won't cheat on you.
[45:03] Speaker 1: You know.
[45:03] Speaker 2: It's like, look, I've had a boyfriend who had a
[45:05] Speaker 2: baby on me, So there's that I it's not a
[45:11] Speaker 2: shit happens.
[45:12] Speaker 3: Shit happens Jesus, you know. But the thing is that,
[45:15] Speaker 3: like I feel like all of that lack of trust
[45:20] Speaker 3: is what then creates the bitterness and then draws up
[45:23] Speaker 3: the walls. And so I have to also be very
[45:26] Speaker 3: self aware when I start to say things or behave
[45:29] Speaker 3: in a way that is showing up because I don't
[45:32] Speaker 3: trust you.
[45:33] Speaker 1: So what do you say to a woman who's having
[45:35] Speaker 1: a hard time getting back on the horse.
[45:36] Speaker 2: Oh, God, first of all, get some therapy. Okay, you
[45:40] Speaker 2: need professional help.
[45:42] Speaker 1: You know.
[45:42] Speaker 3: We'd like to talk about healing and go heal sis
[45:45] Speaker 3: and all that. And you think it's just a massage.
[45:46] Speaker 3: It's not, you know, it's deep rooted work. Get a
[45:49] Speaker 3: really great.
[45:50] Speaker 2: Therapist, you know.
[45:51] Speaker 3: And by the way, it's not like it needs to
[45:53] Speaker 3: cost a lot of money. Just get somebody who gets
[45:55] Speaker 3: you and talk to them. It could even be your
[45:57] Speaker 3: pastor you know. But just get some additional help so
[46:00] Speaker 3: that you can work out the issues that you have,
[46:03] Speaker 3: because otherwise there is no starting. There's there's no getting
[46:06] Speaker 3: on the horse unless you truly have healed from the
[46:09] Speaker 3: things or have the tools to be able to heal.
[46:11] Speaker 2: And then, I mean the other thing. It sounds easy
[46:14] Speaker 2: to say, but it's like you gotta you gotta trust.
[46:17] Speaker 1: You know.
[46:18] Speaker 3: That's the thing that I'm working on, which is that
[46:20] Speaker 3: is that going It's going better. It is going better,
[46:24] Speaker 3: you know. And that's why I can also move forward
[46:26] Speaker 3: and enjoy because otherwise I would be really terrified about
[46:30] Speaker 3: the next steps in committing to somebody again in such
[46:34] Speaker 3: a public ways.
[46:36] Speaker 1: I know, this is you're doing this public late now,
[46:39] Speaker 1: all opinions.
[46:41] Speaker 2: Everybody has an opinion.
[46:44] Speaker 1: That I hate it so much, that's so honest. Most
[46:48] Speaker 1: people be like, I don't care, but I care.
[46:50] Speaker 2: I care. I'm responding. I mean, you know that cat
[46:57] Speaker 2: what that's like, that's me.
[47:01] Speaker 3: The comments because it gets to my nerves so much
[47:06] Speaker 3: like you don't know us, you don't know him, red
[47:11] Speaker 3: flags what you know?
[47:14] Speaker 2: So yeah, I gotta respond, but.
[47:16] Speaker 1: You don't let it because you know, sometimes you could
[47:18] Speaker 1: read something a red flag and somebody put suppose, oh
[47:21] Speaker 1: there's a red.
[47:22] Speaker 2: Flag of this.
[47:23] Speaker 3: Sometimes outside could start to see something because yeah, yeah,
[47:30] Speaker 3: well you know how I deal with that is that
[47:31] Speaker 3: I just talk about it.
[47:32] Speaker 1: I'm really getting out.
[47:33] Speaker 2: About it, yeaheah.
[47:34] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[47:35] Speaker 3: So actually, funny enough, I was talking to Achille about
[47:37] Speaker 3: that last night. Somebody had comments or something.
[47:38] Speaker 2: I was like, and I was gonna say blah blah
[47:42] Speaker 2: blah blah.
[47:42] Speaker 3: Blah, and he was like, please please don't. He's like,
[47:46] Speaker 3: let it, let it just be, Let it ride. You
[47:48] Speaker 3: don't know, like we don't know what's going on in
[47:50] Speaker 3: their life.
[47:51] Speaker 2: Let it let it just be. You know, we know
[47:53] Speaker 2: that's not true. And I'm like, oh, but still they
[47:55] Speaker 2: shouldn't say that kind of stuff. You're not just be pissed.
[48:00] Speaker 2: But it does help to be able to talk about it.
[48:03] Speaker 3: You know. I think for me what works is not
[48:06] Speaker 3: holding things inside. Yeah, Oh, that's letting it stoop. And
[48:11] Speaker 3: while you might think like, oh, let me not yeah,
[48:16] Speaker 3: let me not go to my partner about that, let
[48:17] Speaker 3: me not go to my kid about that, let me
[48:19] Speaker 3: not go to my friend about that, It's like, no.
[48:20] Speaker 2: No, no, I'm gonna just go.
[48:22] Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to all of them.
[48:23] Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to all of them all of that.
[48:25] Speaker 3: So they said, and that's how I feel, and that's
[48:29] Speaker 3: how I feel about it. I'm pissed about it because
[48:30] Speaker 3: I don't think it's true, but like, what do you
[48:32] Speaker 3: think about it? You know, and then let's talk it.
[48:35] Speaker 2: Out and then you get it out, and then I
[48:36] Speaker 2: get it out, and then that way, I'm not holding
[48:38] Speaker 2: onto it.
[48:38] Speaker 1: It's so good.
[48:39] Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely don't want to hold onto anything.
[48:41] Speaker 1: You have that relationship with your daughter too. As a mother,
[48:43] Speaker 1: you mother that way as well.
[48:45] Speaker 2: I'm mother that way for sure.
[48:47] Speaker 3: But that also came out of the grief of losing
[48:50] Speaker 3: her dad, you know, like I And again, I've been
[48:54] Speaker 3: honest about this before, so now I'm saying anything out
[48:56] Speaker 3: of turn.
[48:57] Speaker 2: But I was not the one who wants to start
[48:59] Speaker 2: a family, m you know, Peter wanted the family.
[49:03] Speaker 3: Then I was just like, oh, and then you just
[49:04] Speaker 3: die and leave me here like you were supposed to
[49:08] Speaker 3: be over here help me to raise this person. And
[49:11] Speaker 3: she was four when he died, you know. And so
[49:14] Speaker 3: now I'm looking at this child and I'm like, oh, shoot,
[49:17] Speaker 3: like I've still got high ambitions, you know, still i
[49:21] Speaker 3: still want to achieve in my career, but now I
[49:23] Speaker 3: have the pressure of like, oh god, now people are
[49:26] Speaker 3: looking at me because I'm supposed to be this mom
[49:29] Speaker 3: who bakes cookies and takes it to the PTA meeting.
[49:32] Speaker 2: I don't even like cookies like that, you know what
[49:35] Speaker 2: I'm saying.
[49:36] Speaker 3: And I don't and I don't like to watch the
[49:38] Speaker 3: kids movies, and I don't like Disneyland.
[49:42] Speaker 2: Probably sound like a horrible person.
[49:43] Speaker 3: And that's how like my relationship with my daughter, I
[49:46] Speaker 3: think became so forged, yo, because I was honest with
[49:51] Speaker 3: her about a lot of things at four, which I
[49:54] Speaker 3: know that people were like, oh, you know, you can't
[49:56] Speaker 3: tell the kids all the truth, and real really great
[50:00] Speaker 3: friend Melissa Robinson who was the one who said, you know,
[50:03] Speaker 3: you should just tell the truth.
[50:05] Speaker 2: I've always telling the truth.
[50:06] Speaker 3: And also respecting her enough to hear the things that
[50:10] Speaker 3: she wants to do that are important to her and
[50:13] Speaker 3: honoring that right, but also being like, hey, look, we've
[50:16] Speaker 3: got to have some balance here, you know what I mean,
[50:19] Speaker 3: because it's not like every day you say something and
[50:21] Speaker 3: then mommy drops everything and then does that like it
[50:24] Speaker 3: has to be really important, like if you want me
[50:27] Speaker 3: at this basketball game, let's put on the calendar. Okay,
[50:30] Speaker 3: And that was at four. Yeah, I was like, you,
[50:35] Speaker 3: you know, you need me to come to this meeting
[50:38] Speaker 3: or this play or recital or whatever. Let's put it down.
[50:42] Speaker 3: What's the date? Show me where your coach or the
[50:45] Speaker 3: teacher said, you know, what was the date, So let's
[50:47] Speaker 3: look at that and then let's put and so she
[50:49] Speaker 3: could she would see that like I was intentional with
[50:52] Speaker 3: putting her important things on my calendar and nothing would
[50:55] Speaker 3: stop me from coming to the thing.
[50:57] Speaker 2: But it wasn't every day, you know.
[50:59] Speaker 3: So yeah, I missed a lot of games, I missed
[51:01] Speaker 3: a lot of recitals, Like I was traveling around ambitious,
[51:06] Speaker 3: trying to get to the next level of my career.
[51:08] Speaker 3: But if you asked her today, like was your mom present,
[51:10] Speaker 3: She'd be like, oh yeah, because I was there for
[51:13] Speaker 3: all the stuff that she needed and that she wanted,
[51:15] Speaker 3: and so for me it's like we can have every
[51:18] Speaker 3: kind of conversation now because we've had a decade of that.
[51:22] Speaker 1: That's so good. Yeah, and you're super and she's what sixteen,
[51:25] Speaker 1: she's sixteen. Yeah, that's amazing.
[51:27] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[51:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, how she dealing with this newfound reality and oh
[51:31] Speaker 1: my gosh.
[51:31] Speaker 3: Well, I told you I don't take anybody's opinions about
[51:34] Speaker 3: what I do but lay else. Yeah, And so I
[51:38] Speaker 3: wasn't necessarily asking her permission, but I was informing her
[51:42] Speaker 3: to see how she'd feel about it, and also saying like,
[51:45] Speaker 3: I'll give you a choice if you want to participate,
[51:48] Speaker 3: you know, because I couldn't say like, hey, look you
[51:50] Speaker 3: can have me, but you can't have my kid, you know,
[51:52] Speaker 3: like I'll talk about all this other stuff, but that
[51:55] Speaker 3: that is the fourth rail camp.
[51:57] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[51:57] Speaker 3: So she was very excited though, which surprised me because
[52:01] Speaker 3: we are very different in personality. Like she's not a showman,
[52:04] Speaker 3: you know, she does not the one who's like, you know,
[52:07] Speaker 3: wants to be in the mix and conversations.
[52:10] Speaker 2: She's very thoughtful and quiet and.
[52:12] Speaker 3: We'll say the things that she says and mean it,
[52:15] Speaker 3: you know what I mean. From so, but I've been
[52:19] Speaker 3: I've been shocked by how.
[52:22] Speaker 2: Open.
[52:22] Speaker 3: But she's been because we've had a lot of very
[52:25] Speaker 3: serious conversations on the show. We talked about IVF, you know,
[52:29] Speaker 3: we talked about obviously kihly and getting married again, like,
[52:32] Speaker 3: and she's has some very very deep thoughts that I
[52:37] Speaker 3: was like, who but the camera's still rolling, you know
[52:39] Speaker 3: what I mean? Yeah, and you know, just being like, hey,
[52:43] Speaker 3: you okay with saying that out loud and she's like, yes,
[52:45] Speaker 3: I'm fine.
[52:45] Speaker 1: Because you're her mother.
[52:46] Speaker 2: He's like, you'll say that thing. Yeah.
[52:48] Speaker 1: So she's just taking to another level.
[52:50] Speaker 2: She's saying the level all the things.
[52:52] Speaker 1: You know.
[52:53] Speaker 3: But it's been very because I feel like we can
[52:57] Speaker 3: have those serious conversations and the reason why it comes
[53:00] Speaker 3: across authentically is because that's that's how we talk to
[53:03] Speaker 3: each other normally.
[53:05] Speaker 1: You are low key kind of built to do this.
[53:07] Speaker 1: I think it's such a great it kind of makes sense.
[53:11] Speaker 1: All right. We have a couple of segments we gotta do.
[53:13] Speaker 1: I just gave me a little time check out. I
[53:15] Speaker 1: feel like we just started. I know, hey guys, you
[53:18] Speaker 1: ever sign up for a phone plan thinking wow, what
[53:20] Speaker 1: a great price, and then a few months later it's
[53:22] Speaker 1: like surprise, your bill is higher.
[53:25] Speaker 4: We hate that.
[53:26] Speaker 1: With Boost Mobile, you pay twenty five dollars a month forever.
[53:29] Speaker 1: That's unlimited talk, text and data starting at just twenty
[53:32] Speaker 1: five dollars a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract,
[53:35] Speaker 1: and this is forever. Plus. Boost Mobile is now a
[53:38] Speaker 1: legit nationwide five G network. They invested billions building five
[53:43] Speaker 1: G towers across the country. So what you need to
[53:46] Speaker 1: do is visit boostmobile dot com or head to your
[53:48] Speaker 1: local Boots store today and get unlimited talk, text and
[53:51] Speaker 1: data for twenty five dollars a month forever. Five G
[53:55] Speaker 1: speed is not available in all areas. After thirty gigabytes,
[53:57] Speaker 1: customers may experience lower speeds. Customers will pay twenty five
[54:00] Speaker 1: dollars a month as long as they remain active on
[54:03] Speaker 1: the Boost Unlimited plan. Okay, IR segments. Ready, we got
[54:08] Speaker 1: a bowl, We got a voice note for you. These
[54:09] Speaker 1: are we got things this segment segment. Time are we doing?
[54:13] Speaker 1: Voice note? First?
[54:14] Speaker 2: This is our voice note. Voice note.
[54:16] Speaker 1: It's usually a fan or listener of the pod. We
[54:19] Speaker 1: write who's coming by, and they send you a note.
[54:22] Speaker 1: They send you a voice note. It's usually a question
[54:24] Speaker 1: of comment. Sometimes it's a I don't know a story
[54:28] Speaker 1: or something or thank you. I don't know what this is.
[54:30] Speaker 1: What do we got.
[54:32] Speaker 5: Hobbo's My name is Stephen, and I would love some
[54:35] Speaker 5: help here. My wife, she's an absolute beast at work
[54:40] Speaker 5: and I am always telling her to kind of put
[54:43] Speaker 5: her wins and her accomplishments out on social media. But
[54:46] Speaker 5: she like suffers from imposter syndrome. She feels like not
[54:49] Speaker 5: only does she not really belong, but she also doesn't
[54:51] Speaker 5: want to like brag in people's faces. But also at
[54:54] Speaker 5: the end of the day, like I feel like she's
[54:55] Speaker 5: missing out on a lot that what could be coming
[54:57] Speaker 5: to her if she was louder about herself. Uh So,
[55:00] Speaker 5: if you have any advice on good words of encouragement
[55:03] Speaker 5: or even more like strategical points here, that would be
[55:07] Speaker 5: super helpful.
[55:07] Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes nice.
[55:09] Speaker 1: First of all, first, come on, now, okay, Now, that's
[55:12] Speaker 1: a good husband. The fact that he's a good man,
[55:14] Speaker 1: The fact that his question is for his wife, for
[55:17] Speaker 1: his wife, his girlfriend wife wife. We don't know if
[55:19] Speaker 1: her name is Savannah, but Savannah.
[55:23] Speaker 2: A good man, Savannah. No, for real, he's great.
[55:26] Speaker 1: Yes, he's being so thoughtful about what's good for you
[55:29] Speaker 1: in your future.
[55:30] Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, okay, now here's the answer. For Savannah. We're
[55:33] Speaker 3: just gonna call her Savannah.
[55:34] Speaker 2: You know her name.
[55:36] Speaker 1: He's so funny.
[55:37] Speaker 3: The thing is, uh, there's two very very big points.
[55:41] Speaker 3: First is about bragging, right. We we very much misinterpret
[55:48] Speaker 3: what is just your credits with bragging because you shouldn't
[55:55] Speaker 3: talk about the stuff that you didn't do, you know.
[55:58] Speaker 3: And that's what we rail against when somebody's telling us
[56:02] Speaker 3: about their accomplishments and it just seems so large because
[56:04] Speaker 3: usually it's like, you didn't do all that, you know,
[56:07] Speaker 3: and we can tell, so it's like you're talking about
[56:09] Speaker 3: the specific things that you did within the larger win.
[56:12] Speaker 3: And that's what actually helps with your not only your credibility,
[56:15] Speaker 3: but the brand, so that people know that, like, ah,
[56:18] Speaker 3: Savannah did this, she's good at that.
[56:21] Speaker 1: You know.
[56:21] Speaker 2: It's like even for me, I'm not great at everything,
[56:24] Speaker 2: but I'm.
[56:25] Speaker 3: Exceptional at these few things and that's what I take
[56:29] Speaker 3: credit for, and that's what I talk about, so that
[56:32] Speaker 3: people know that, like, oh, if you want both to
[56:33] Speaker 3: do X, Y and Z, she could do that. Nobody's
[56:35] Speaker 3: gonna call me to be the data queen. I'm not
[56:39] Speaker 3: that person, you know, you want me to talk to
[56:41] Speaker 3: you about why TUPACA is important. Fantastic, I got you, Yo.
[56:44] Speaker 3: You want me to tell you why the NFL is
[56:47] Speaker 3: important to this moment in time in sports. I will
[56:49] Speaker 3: tell you that, yo, Like I understand pop culture and
[56:52] Speaker 3: can tell you all the things you need to do.
[56:54] Speaker 3: And by the way, I backed it up with experiences
[56:56] Speaker 3: and with programs that I've created, and so that's what
[57:00] Speaker 3: Savannah needs to do. It's like you're just talking about
[57:02] Speaker 3: the things that you're good at, and so talking about
[57:04] Speaker 3: it publicly just takes it to the next level because
[57:07] Speaker 3: you're actually talking about the specific role that you played
[57:10] Speaker 3: in X, Y and Z thing, and that is important
[57:13] Speaker 3: to do. Next the impositive syndrome thing. That's really gets
[57:16] Speaker 3: on my nerves because I have used this example before
[57:22] Speaker 3: about physics, right that matter is anything. It can be liquid,
[57:27] Speaker 3: it can be something solid. But matter is made up
[57:31] Speaker 3: of molecules and each molecule is really important. And so
[57:35] Speaker 3: you take a molecule out of a matter and the
[57:37] Speaker 3: matter changes. You add a molecule into the matter and
[57:40] Speaker 3: the matter changes. That is physics, it's science. You are
[57:43] Speaker 3: the molecule inside every matter. So whether that is a company,
[57:48] Speaker 3: it's the school, it's your softball team. You are the molecule,
[57:53] Speaker 3: and so why would you not consider that you are
[57:55] Speaker 3: important in the room. You leave that room and it
[57:58] Speaker 3: changes because you're.
[58:00] Speaker 2: Not in there.
[58:01] Speaker 3: And so therefore all of the experiences you have, all
[58:04] Speaker 3: of the history, the knowledge, et cetera, is important to
[58:07] Speaker 3: change in the room. Why else are you there? And
[58:10] Speaker 3: something brought you there? And then let's go to the
[58:13] Speaker 3: math of it. All right, if you go back twelve generations,
[58:16] Speaker 3: there's like twelve thousand people that it took to create
[58:19] Speaker 3: you individual to be in this room. How how dare
[58:23] Speaker 3: you walk in there with the four thousand? They're really
[58:27] Speaker 3: important and they contributed to you being in the room.
[58:31] Speaker 3: So sis Savannah, girl, listen, girl, you are the molecule
[58:38] Speaker 3: and you change the matter every room that you're in.
[58:40] Speaker 3: So don't have imposter syndrome. You belong in the room.
[58:43] Speaker 3: Those four thousand people work so you could be there,
[58:45] Speaker 3: so act like it. Hell yeah, good job, Steven.
[58:51] Speaker 2: Yay Steven. Hey guys.
[58:53] Speaker 4: Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University.
[58:56] Speaker 4: Have you ever thought to.
[58:57] Speaker 1: Yourself, what if I could go after what I actually
[59:00] Speaker 1: want and I could really make a difference. Well, you
[59:03] Speaker 1: are not alone, and this is exactly why I want
[59:06] Speaker 1: to tell you about Walden University.
[59:07] Speaker 4: For over fifty years, Walden has helped working adults like
[59:11] Speaker 4: you get the w with the knowledge, the skills and
[59:15] Speaker 4: everything you need to build the future that you want.
[59:17] Speaker 4: And you can make a difference where it matters most.
[59:19] Speaker 4: If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it.
[59:22] Speaker 4: Head to WALDENU dot edu and take that first step.
[59:26] Speaker 1: Walden University set a course for change, certified to operate
[59:30] Speaker 1: by SHIV. All right, now, this is our irl bowl.
[59:33] Speaker 2: Okay, real life bowl Okay, filled.
[59:35] Speaker 1: With questions Okay, and I just think one.
[59:37] Speaker 3: Yeah, what is your biggest challenge in this life? Oh
[59:40] Speaker 3: my goodness, what is the biggest challenge in this life
[59:44] Speaker 3: for you?
[59:45] Speaker 1: Everybody's just different. I think everybody's walk is different.
[59:49] Speaker 3: You know, what is the biggest challenge? What is your
[59:52] Speaker 3: biggest my biggest challenge? What is my biggest challenge?
[59:58] Speaker 2: That's a very very hard question.
[1:00:00] Speaker 1: It is let me think what mine is whenever somebody
[1:00:02] Speaker 1: can't whenever a hard question, like shit.
[1:00:03] Speaker 2: Can I answer that?
[1:00:04] Speaker 1: If it was in the bowl?
[1:00:06] Speaker 2: Because the thing is that, like, look, I.
[1:00:09] Speaker 3: I don't have a problem with time because I really
[1:00:13] Speaker 3: enjoyed my time and I'm not scared of like how
[1:00:15] Speaker 3: much time I have really no, like I used to
[1:00:19] Speaker 3: be scared a lot of like death. And you know,
[1:00:22] Speaker 3: as I said, I told God, I don't want to
[1:00:24] Speaker 3: go anytime soon. But the way that I combat that
[1:00:27] Speaker 3: is that i want every day to be really really large,
[1:00:33] Speaker 3: you know, not that like I'm climbing everest or anything
[1:00:36] Speaker 3: like that, but meaning that like I'm doing exactly what
[1:00:38] Speaker 3: I want to do, like every.
[1:00:39] Speaker 1: Day urgently, urgently, you know.
[1:00:42] Speaker 2: Like nobody's going to stop me from doing the thing
[1:00:44] Speaker 2: I want to do.
[1:00:45] Speaker 3: And in that way, I feel like I will come
[1:00:49] Speaker 3: to the end of my life regardless of when it is,
[1:00:51] Speaker 3: and people will be like, god, damn, that girl.
[1:00:53] Speaker 2: Lived you on.
[1:00:54] Speaker 3: They're going to be like she had a big life
[1:00:57] Speaker 3: because I lived it exactly how I want to. I'm
[1:00:59] Speaker 3: not putting anything off. I'm not like, oh, retirement and
[1:01:01] Speaker 3: then I'll do X, Y and Z thing I'm gonna
[1:01:03] Speaker 3: do right now because I don't know if I'm gonna
[1:01:05] Speaker 3: get there, so why not do it. So it's not
[1:01:07] Speaker 3: like a fear of death. It's a motivator for me.
[1:01:11] Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know about the challenge one.
[1:01:13] Speaker 2: That was a great question.
[1:01:14] Speaker 1: I mean, that was a great answer. It doesn't have
[1:01:16] Speaker 1: to be Okay, there's no rules, fantastic because I don't
[1:01:19] Speaker 1: like rules. No way, there's no rules. You talked about
[1:01:24] Speaker 1: your connection to God and hearing his voice. Yeah, what
[1:01:27] Speaker 1: does that sound like? And what do you ask for most?
[1:01:29] Speaker 1: What do you pray for most sections?
[1:01:31] Speaker 2: I pray for discernment all of the time. I just
[1:01:34] Speaker 2: want to know, like, give me the vibes, you know.
[1:01:38] Speaker 3: Whether it's people or an opportunity or whatever, even over email,
[1:01:42] Speaker 3: give me the vibes, like, Lord, just let me know
[1:01:46] Speaker 3: this person not for you. And I don't care if
[1:01:48] Speaker 3: the person has introduced me to me by Oprah. I'm like,
[1:01:51] Speaker 3: I don't want that person.
[1:01:52] Speaker 2: I don't like him. The vibes is not right, you know.
[1:01:56] Speaker 1: So is that how your prayer goes? Like you say,
[1:01:58] Speaker 1: give me the vibes, You don't say the.
[1:02:00] Speaker 2: No I do.
[1:02:00] Speaker 3: Oh my God, Me and God are homies, man, Yeah, no, no, no, no, no,
[1:02:03] Speaker 3: I don't think God give me the vibe.
[1:02:06] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah no. And that's the other thing. I
[1:02:08] Speaker 2: don't know why people don't talk to God. Just normal.
[1:02:10] Speaker 1: You know, why do you have to like to do
[1:02:12] Speaker 1: all the thing it's to do with worship? No to
[1:02:16] Speaker 1: do it?
[1:02:17] Speaker 2: No, God, God knows us.
[1:02:18] Speaker 1: You can talk normal.
[1:02:19] Speaker 2: I talk normal, and I also get upset when something
[1:02:23] Speaker 2: doesn't think that way.
[1:02:24] Speaker 1: Close eyes oh do you?
[1:02:26] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[1:02:26] Speaker 1: You don't not really eyes open, yeah, talking you know.
[1:02:30] Speaker 3: I mean I probably like if you had a camera
[1:02:32] Speaker 3: there probably look nothing. But you know, but I'm usually talking.
[1:02:35] Speaker 3: Like That's what I'm doing in that hour in the morning.
[1:02:37] Speaker 2: I'm talking.
[1:02:38] Speaker 3: I'm talking, I'm writing things down. I'm like, oh God,
[1:02:42] Speaker 3: you know what I forgot to ask you? Could you
[1:02:45] Speaker 3: get this person out of my life? Like no, I
[1:02:49] Speaker 3: do that all the time, or like you know, We'll
[1:02:51] Speaker 3: be in the car on the way here, I'd be like,
[1:02:53] Speaker 3: oh God, you know, I forgot to say that I
[1:02:56] Speaker 3: need more money for this wedding, so can I have
[1:02:58] Speaker 3: another brand because I need one that's gonna pay for
[1:03:02] Speaker 3: this thing?
[1:03:03] Speaker 1: And you're just eyes open.
[1:03:04] Speaker 3: Whoever's talking in front of people, yeah, yeah, because people
[1:03:08] Speaker 3: just think that I'm saying like oh God, like you
[1:03:10] Speaker 3: would say, oh God.
[1:03:11] Speaker 1: But I'm actually being I'm being legit, like you're actually actually.
[1:03:15] Speaker 2: Talking to God, God is always around.
[1:03:17] Speaker 1: If people think you're being like not literal, like you, yeah,
[1:03:20] Speaker 1: I know, but I'm being literal.
[1:03:21] Speaker 2: I'm actually talking to God in that moment.
[1:03:23] Speaker 3: Do you talk to Him all the time, all of
[1:03:25] Speaker 3: the time, all day, all day, Well yeah, all day
[1:03:28] Speaker 3: because I don't see it.
[1:03:29] Speaker 1: Maybe that's good because it's if you have a routine, listen,
[1:03:33] Speaker 1: nobody's way is wrong. But if you have a thing
[1:03:35] Speaker 1: where you have to remove yourself get quiet, whether it's
[1:03:39] Speaker 1: your knees or however you pray. But if then you're
[1:03:42] Speaker 1: limited in time, if you're talking to.
[1:03:44] Speaker 3: Him all the time, then you don't you don't feel limited.
[1:03:48] Speaker 3: But I do think it's important for me as the
[1:03:51] Speaker 3: first thing in the morning, that first upon waking, that
[1:03:54] Speaker 3: I am in some sort.
[1:03:56] Speaker 2: Of communication with God. That's really really important to me.
[1:03:59] Speaker 3: And a lot of times, I mean, I don't know
[1:04:01] Speaker 3: if this happens to you, but like I wake up
[1:04:03] Speaker 3: with things on my mind, you know, and so then
[1:04:06] Speaker 3: I know immediately I got to go to God, you know,
[1:04:08] Speaker 3: because whatever's on my mind, like if it's fear or
[1:04:11] Speaker 3: there's some trepidation or like some big hope, I'm like,
[1:04:14] Speaker 3: oh God, you gotta make this work you don't, and
[1:04:16] Speaker 3: then I'll follow with like, but only if you want
[1:04:18] Speaker 3: it to though, because I don't know what else you got. Okay, yes,
[1:04:21] Speaker 3: because I might be wanting this thing, but if I
[1:04:23] Speaker 3: shouldn't have it, don't let me have it.
[1:04:25] Speaker 2: I don't want it, Okay, I'm not asking you. Just
[1:04:27] Speaker 2: give it to me. To give it to me. Give
[1:04:28] Speaker 2: it to me because of the best thing.
[1:04:30] Speaker 1: We even pray similar.
[1:04:31] Speaker 2: That's so funny, harp, do that too.
[1:04:34] Speaker 1: I really want this.
[1:04:37] Speaker 2: Because I don't want it.
[1:04:38] Speaker 1: If you don't want it, I don't like.
[1:04:40] Speaker 2: If it's gonna mess me up, don't give it to me.
[1:04:41] Speaker 2: And even if I don't understand that, I trust tru
[1:04:44] Speaker 2: that part too. Yeah, you got you gotta have trust.
[1:04:47] Speaker 2: God's not your back for sure.
[1:04:49] Speaker 1: Yeah that's so good. All right, I have some I
[1:04:52] Speaker 1: r LS for you.
[1:04:54] Speaker 2: Okay, what do you want.
[1:04:54] Speaker 1: People to learn about you in real life? You can
[1:04:58] Speaker 1: learn one thing from your life?
[1:05:00] Speaker 2: Did I really don't take myself that seriously?
[1:05:03] Speaker 1: Really?
[1:05:04] Speaker 5: Like?
[1:05:04] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[1:05:04] Speaker 2: Like, I really love the fun. I love some fun
[1:05:07] Speaker 2: in life.
[1:05:08] Speaker 1: If you were the leader of the world, the whole world, Yes,
[1:05:12] Speaker 1: what would be the first thing that you would do?
[1:05:14] Speaker 2: Redraw the maps.
[1:05:18] Speaker 1: This is the first matter of business.
[1:05:21] Speaker 2: I think it just says it's such a disservice, like
[1:05:24] Speaker 2: the maps.
[1:05:25] Speaker 3: The maps make us feel like we are beholden to
[1:05:28] Speaker 3: a certain group of people, and then it keeps out
[1:05:30] Speaker 3: other people. Like that's why I feel like the problems
[1:05:33] Speaker 3: with racism and immigration and all these things them from
[1:05:37] Speaker 3: the maps that were drawn by white men in the
[1:05:40] Speaker 3: room together. I get rid of all the maps I'm redoing.
[1:05:44] Speaker 1: So what would your world look like?
[1:05:45] Speaker 3: Oh gosh, well, yeah, I just circle them by by
[1:05:50] Speaker 3: language or something like that, you know what I mean,
[1:05:51] Speaker 3: Like interest types. Everybody who loves the color ran over there.
[1:05:58] Speaker 3: If you love greens, over there.
[1:06:00] Speaker 2: No redraw the maps.
[1:06:01] Speaker 1: That's pretty good. It's a good rule of business. What
[1:06:04] Speaker 1: should people care less about?
[1:06:06] Speaker 3: Hmmm, well, I mean this is gonna sound so silly,
[1:06:09] Speaker 3: but they should care less about other people's opinions.
[1:06:12] Speaker 2: Like that that affect their life. You know.
[1:06:14] Speaker 3: Don't make the decision based on what your mom thinks
[1:06:17] Speaker 3: or your best friend even Yeah, yeah, they have no
[1:06:22] Speaker 3: idea what's right for you. They're talking usually out of
[1:06:25] Speaker 3: their fear for your life in real life.
[1:06:28] Speaker 1: Last piece of great advice someone has given you.
[1:06:32] Speaker 2: The last piece of great advice. Oh that's hard because
[1:06:36] Speaker 2: I really don't take people's advice.
[1:06:40] Speaker 1: So okay, that's good. That's your answer. That's your answer. Yeah,
[1:06:44] Speaker 1: all right? And life and real love in real life?
[1:06:48] Speaker 1: What what is something you absolutely need and require in
[1:06:53] Speaker 1: a partner? Oh? Love?
[1:06:55] Speaker 3: I need affection, like physical touch, you know, I need
[1:06:58] Speaker 3: to squeeze me, slap my butt as I walk by,
[1:07:01] Speaker 3: that kind of thing.
[1:07:02] Speaker 1: If you had a rule book about love, what would
[1:07:06] Speaker 1: be like in bold?
[1:07:08] Speaker 2: Like, what is your rule?
[1:07:09] Speaker 1: One of your rules?
[1:07:10] Speaker 2: Talk to me nice? Now I'm saying, like, right words
[1:07:17] Speaker 2: lead to action.
[1:07:18] Speaker 1: Yeah, it talks to me nice. Okay. Loving friendships, what's
[1:07:21] Speaker 1: the best because you have so many best friends?
[1:07:23] Speaker 2: God, don't don't get me in trouble now. No, you
[1:07:26] Speaker 2: don't have to mess me.
[1:07:26] Speaker 1: You don't have to name your favorite. You don't have
[1:07:28] Speaker 1: to name your favorite. But what is what is a
[1:07:32] Speaker 1: quality that is necessary to have a good friend to
[1:07:35] Speaker 1: be a good friend?
[1:07:36] Speaker 2: I think.
[1:07:38] Speaker 3: Presence, like you know, being present and doesn't need to
[1:07:41] Speaker 3: be like in person, but like the check in the
[1:07:45] Speaker 3: you know, it's like, if you see something about me online,
[1:07:47] Speaker 3: you need to call me and be like gro you
[1:07:50] Speaker 3: want me to go beat them up. Yes, bitch, go
[1:07:51] Speaker 3: over there.
[1:07:52] Speaker 1: You know what I mean, be.
[1:07:54] Speaker 2: Present in my life.
[1:07:57] Speaker 1: In real life. How important is money to you?
[1:07:59] Speaker 2: Very yeah? I mean people say it's like, you know,
[1:08:04] Speaker 2: money can't buy you happiness. Really, I beg to diver
[1:08:12] Speaker 2: give me the money, baby, Yeah, no, what are you
[1:08:14] Speaker 2: talking about?
[1:08:16] Speaker 1: That's so funny? But you were always kind of happy? No, like, yeah,
[1:08:20] Speaker 1: but money's made me happy.
[1:08:21] Speaker 2: Yuh.
[1:08:22] Speaker 1: Okay.
[1:08:22] Speaker 2: Can I get to go wherever I want, do what
[1:08:24] Speaker 2: I want?
[1:08:24] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[1:08:25] Speaker 2: Money's good, you're into it? Yeah, very much? Give me more.
[1:08:28] Speaker 2: Matter of fact, what is a.
[1:08:29] Speaker 1: Habit that you are proud of?
[1:08:32] Speaker 2: My discipline? What is the habit that you're trying to break?
[1:08:35] Speaker 2: Oooh some of my spontaneity?
[1:08:37] Speaker 1: Really?
[1:08:38] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[1:08:38] Speaker 1: Why?
[1:08:39] Speaker 2: Yeah? Well because you know what?
[1:08:40] Speaker 3: Okay, so this is a longer story, but I'll cut
[1:08:42] Speaker 3: it short, which is that my dad is notoriously spontaneous,
[1:08:46] Speaker 3: and it's spontaneous in a big way, like meaning like
[1:08:48] Speaker 3: he would, you know, see another job he wanted and
[1:08:51] Speaker 3: then move us across the continents, you know that kind
[1:08:54] Speaker 3: of thing, and or like you know, go buy something
[1:08:56] Speaker 3: that was expensive that we couldn't afford, you know, the
[1:09:00] Speaker 3: make my mom very upset then put all of the
[1:09:02] Speaker 3: rest of us in like challenges. I hated that behavior,
[1:09:06] Speaker 3: but sometimes I find that in myself that like if
[1:09:08] Speaker 3: I really fixate on something and then I'm like, oh,
[1:09:11] Speaker 3: by any means, I'm gonna go do that thing. Sometimes
[1:09:14] Speaker 3: it's worked out, sometimes it has it.
[1:09:15] Speaker 1: It's probably pushed you though it has it.
[1:09:18] Speaker 3: Has so that's why you know. I'm like sometimes I'm like,
[1:09:21] Speaker 3: all right, let me just make sure it's countered with good.
[1:09:24] Speaker 1: Sense and what is left to like what is the
[1:09:27] Speaker 1: I don't know what is left for you to what
[1:09:28] Speaker 1: mountain are you trying to?
[1:09:30] Speaker 3: Oh? Now see now that that's the key, you know.
[1:09:32] Speaker 3: I don't make I don't make plans. I don't make
[1:09:34] Speaker 3: like one of your plans, five year plans. I don't
[1:09:37] Speaker 3: make any of those. No, no, no, because I just
[1:09:39] Speaker 3: feel like the world is my oyster and like big
[1:09:43] Speaker 3: things are coming. I just feel so limited. If I
[1:09:45] Speaker 3: was like, oh, you know what this is I want
[1:09:46] Speaker 3: to do in the next ten years, why like a
[1:09:49] Speaker 3: no big plan, zero plans. No, I don't have a
[1:09:51] Speaker 3: plan for this year, or like people make resolutions and
[1:09:54] Speaker 3: the things they want to do and the thing I
[1:09:55] Speaker 3: don't really have that because I just feel like fascinating
[1:09:58] Speaker 3: the world is. Opportunities are out there and they're just
[1:10:01] Speaker 3: gonna be mine. So come on, bring it.
[1:10:04] Speaker 1: Oh, this is my favorite question. Look at it's poking
[1:10:06] Speaker 1: right up it. Ok before you leave, this is my
[1:10:08] Speaker 1: favorite question. It is my favorite question.
[1:10:11] Speaker 2: Okay, let go with this.
[1:10:12] Speaker 1: Okay, but before we go out with this, was there
[1:10:14] Speaker 1: anything on your heart today or anything that you just was.
[1:10:18] Speaker 2: So happy to be here with you. I'm so glad
[1:10:21] Speaker 2: to come I could we could do.
[1:10:22] Speaker 1: It, like if we did a podcast together. I feel
[1:10:24] Speaker 1: like we would have something to talk about everything every day.
[1:10:28] Speaker 1: Every day we would have something to talk about. It
[1:10:30] Speaker 1: will be three of us. Oh my God of us. Anyway,
[1:10:35] Speaker 1: I would love you to come back.
[1:10:36] Speaker 2: I would love to. I would love we have a
[1:10:38] Speaker 2: lot to talk about. Okay, here's your question.
[1:10:40] Speaker 4: You want me.
[1:10:41] Speaker 2: I read it? You read it? Okay.
[1:10:42] Speaker 1: Last question?
[1:10:43] Speaker 2: Oh, if God were to text you right now, what
[1:10:47] Speaker 2: would God say?
[1:10:51] Speaker 3: Oh?
[1:10:51] Speaker 1: What God said? Take your time with it, both, take
[1:10:54] Speaker 1: your time.
[1:10:54] Speaker 2: God were to text me right now, hmmm, let it come.
[1:11:01] Speaker 2: I think God would say it's gonna be all right. Mhm,
[1:11:05] Speaker 2: It's gonna be all right.
[1:11:06] Speaker 3: Yeah, simple, yeah, looking that have faith type, you know,
[1:11:13] Speaker 3: because I'm often talking about things that I know if
[1:11:16] Speaker 3: I just have faith, it'd be all right. And so
[1:11:19] Speaker 3: I think God would be like, it'll be all right.
[1:11:22] Speaker 3: It is chill out, chill out boss. Okay, he would
[1:11:27] Speaker 3: throw a chill out at you. Yeah. Absolutely, God gonna
[1:11:29] Speaker 3: tell me the chill out like relax, bos relax.
[1:11:32] Speaker 2: So it's gonna be all right. And that's what God
[1:11:34] Speaker 2: would text me. I'm gonna remember that. That's a good one.
[1:11:37] Speaker 2: I love that for you.
[1:11:38] Speaker 1: Amazing. Thank you, Yes your boats in real life.
[1:11:48] Speaker 2: Hi missus Bose in real life.
[1:11:51] Speaker 1: Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like comments,
[1:11:54] Speaker 1: and check out all of the other episodes we have
[1:11:56] Speaker 1: on Edge. Martinez I R O Podcast BO

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