# AJ Johnson: You Can't Fix a Relationship Until You Know Who You Are

An episode of [Angie Martinez IRL](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1633466636), 20 Aug 2026, 1 h 41 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/808/arttrk.com/p/ARTS0/podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/09313230-a088-4537-b3d1-aeca00f910df/df277719-01e1-426d-bd04-b4ac014d8d41/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=910ebdb0-f7f7-4c39-a376-aeca00f9f039

Actress, TV host, and life coach AJ Johnson joins Angie Martinez to talk about the famous Easter Party therapy session where she helped Tisha Campbell move to the next stage of her life, making an adjustment from going from an HBCU to Hollywood, and how she's able to help her clients on her show ‘Life Therapy.’ Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt... #Volume See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: There's one thing that you are wanting for yourself. Yes,
[0:04] Speaker 1: there's one thing that you're dreaming of that before this moment,
[0:08] Speaker 1: before this now, you may not have truly believed it
[0:12] Speaker 1: could be possible. But right now, connected sisters, I'm aligning
[0:19] Speaker 1: with you in the belief that it's just waiting for you.
[0:25] Speaker 1: What is it?
[0:31] Speaker 2: Hey, guys, thanks for watching. This episode is brought to
[0:33] Speaker 2: you by Boostmobile. Today's guest has been a part of
[0:36] Speaker 2: some of the most iconic films, from Spike Lee's School
[0:39] Speaker 2: Days to House Party, which was a classic John Singleton's
[0:44] Speaker 2: Baby Boy, and then somewhere along the way, the woman
[0:47] Speaker 2: known for reading a scene became known for reading people,
[0:50] Speaker 2: building a life coach platform, the AJ Zone that has
[0:55] Speaker 2: quietly shaped some of.
[0:56] Speaker 1: The biggest names in the industry.
[0:57] Speaker 2: Gabrielle Union credits her with saying that she helped her
[1:00] Speaker 2: let go of her mean girl energy. And then right
[1:03] Speaker 2: here on this very podcast, Tisha Campbell shared how working
[1:06] Speaker 2: with AJ really changed her life. And then, you know,
[1:09] Speaker 2: after that conversation, I was.
[1:11] Speaker 1: Like, we need it on the podcast.
[1:13] Speaker 2: So I am thrilled today that AJ Johnson is here
[1:17] Speaker 2: in real life.
[1:18] Speaker 1: Yay. I'm so excited so happy.
[1:22] Speaker 2: Me too.
[1:22] Speaker 1: I'm so happy we've been Goring's sister crazy.
[1:26] Speaker 2: Did you hear or happen to see my our episode
[1:30] Speaker 2: or clips of our episode with Tisha Campbell?
[1:32] Speaker 1: Of course? Oh, first of all, I watch you watch.
[1:34] Speaker 1: She was like, okay, bitch, you know you got to
[1:36] Speaker 1: see it. And so with our little banter, it's just
[1:41] Speaker 1: it's really interesting because we don't talk about our conversations,
[1:45] Speaker 1: so when I see her talking about them, I really
[1:47] Speaker 1: get a chance to hear and vibe what she was
[1:49] Speaker 1: doing and taking from it. Yeah, so it's been ten
[1:52] Speaker 1: years since we had that special conversation, right, but you know,
[1:55] Speaker 1: we're sisters. So I've been just kind of watching her
[1:57] Speaker 1: and I know that she listened because first she threw
[2:00] Speaker 1: me out the house. She didn't have that part on
[2:01] Speaker 1: the on the show, tell you that part. That's why
[2:04] Speaker 1: I'm here today. You know, she threw me out the
[2:07] Speaker 1: house to talking so much truth and you know, but
[2:10] Speaker 1: but I think that really proved our love and the
[2:13] Speaker 1: depth of it that you know, I just believe that
[2:16] Speaker 1: love should sustain anything, especially in that regard your relationship
[2:20] Speaker 1: between women sisters. Wait, I feel like we should play
[2:23] Speaker 1: a little clip of this and I posted it because
[2:26] Speaker 1: I want to people, Yeah, because I wanted people to
[2:28] Speaker 1: have the context of what was happening. And the part
[2:31] Speaker 1: that you didn't get to hear was that I was
[2:33] Speaker 1: uncomfortable at that party because I knew so much energy
[2:38] Speaker 1: that was going to be there, and I knew that
[2:39] Speaker 1: so many people had masks on, and I'm just not
[2:42] Speaker 1: good with that. What does that mean when you and
[2:44] Speaker 1: how do you feel?
[2:45] Speaker 2: Like? How do you see it and know it? When
[2:47] Speaker 2: some when people have them mad? Like, what did you
[2:48] Speaker 2: feel in that room? You're in a room it's it's
[2:51] Speaker 2: like actors and you know, celebrities.
[2:53] Speaker 1: You know, first of all, we're in Hollywood, so let's
[2:55] Speaker 1: talk about that. Everybody's making a living pretending to be something,
[2:58] Speaker 1: to be something, So start there, right. But then some
[3:02] Speaker 1: of the people that I knew, I knew there would
[3:04] Speaker 1: probably be people there that I didn't know, and so
[3:07] Speaker 1: you know, I just watch, look and listen, and my
[3:10] Speaker 1: spirit picks up on you know, different issues people may
[3:13] Speaker 1: be having, but they're smiling through it. I may get
[3:16] Speaker 1: a vibe about a relationship that somebody's bragging about that's
[3:19] Speaker 1: not really anything to brag about. Of course, I knew
[3:22] Speaker 1: Tsha's relationship was not great, but she was pushing through
[3:26] Speaker 1: with the smile anything. You know, gay people who are
[3:30] Speaker 1: trying not to live that lifestyle. You can see you
[3:33] Speaker 1: see people. Yeah, I can see it. I can see it,
[3:36] Speaker 1: I can feel it, I can hear it. And so
[3:39] Speaker 1: I just was like, I really don't want to be
[3:41] Speaker 1: at this party. I'm living in a space where I'm
[3:43] Speaker 1: trying to really walk in my truth and now here
[3:46] Speaker 1: I have to go and put on a mask to
[3:48] Speaker 1: be at this gosh dang party. And you know, trying
[3:51] Speaker 1: to make myself comfortable, I sat down next to somebody
[3:54] Speaker 1: I didn't know and it happened to be easter, and again,
[3:57] Speaker 1: trying to make myself comfortable, I said so quick question,
[3:59] Speaker 1: since it was celebrating Resurrection Day, what in your life
[4:02] Speaker 1: should stay dead and what do you flect your resurrect
[4:04] Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, And she looked and she was like,
[4:08] Speaker 1: oh shit, AJ's and you're being deep And she jumped
[4:11] Speaker 1: up and started screaming and everybody was like what what what,
[4:14] Speaker 1: and so she said, AJ just asked me, and then
[4:16] Speaker 1: people were like, well, I'm next, I'm next, And it
[4:19] Speaker 1: just turned into this session group session. If you will
[4:23] Speaker 1: and Tisha heard us hooping and hollering and tears and screaming,
[4:27] Speaker 1: and I mean it turned into a group session. And
[4:30] Speaker 1: then Tita was like, I want to be next. And
[4:32] Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, please no, and I was
[4:34] Speaker 1: like not now, you know, we'll do it privately. She
[4:37] Speaker 1: was like no, no, no, I want to do it now.
[4:39] Speaker 1: And I said okay, And I said, you know you're
[4:43] Speaker 1: you're wearing a mask professionally in your family and your
[4:46] Speaker 1: relationship and it's it's it's hard to watch because I
[4:50] Speaker 1: know your soul and I know you're getting teared. I
[4:52] Speaker 1: talk about it. I know your truth and you're not
[4:56] Speaker 1: living it and it hurt me to say it. And
[5:00] Speaker 1: she was like, it's why are you crying? So are
[5:02] Speaker 1: you crying in the moment too? Yeah, just like now.
[5:06] Speaker 1: I felt it, just like now, And she was like,
[5:08] Speaker 1: why are you crying? And I said because I love
[5:10] Speaker 1: you and I don't I want you to be happy
[5:12] Speaker 1: and you're not. Well what did you How could you
[5:14] Speaker 1: see that?
[5:14] Speaker 2: Like?
[5:14] Speaker 1: What is that experience of seeing that in somebody?
[5:17] Speaker 2: You could just tell or I mean, well, well, you know,
[5:20] Speaker 2: as as friends and as sisters, in just any conversation
[5:24] Speaker 2: I'm sure you go through all your friends.
[5:25] Speaker 1: You know what makes them happy, you know what brings
[5:27] Speaker 1: them joy, you know what makes them sad, you know
[5:29] Speaker 1: what's uncomfortable conversations. I Metitha. I've known each other for
[5:32] Speaker 1: thirty years, so I know the conversations with her family,
[5:35] Speaker 1: her kids, her her spouse at the time, her friends.
[5:38] Speaker 1: I know what makes her uncomfortable. And to watch her
[5:41] Speaker 1: have to smile and posture, you know, shoulders back, head up,
[5:45] Speaker 1: jokes and yeah, you know, covering it with jokes and
[5:49] Speaker 1: pushing through and not wanting to have the conversations. I
[5:53] Speaker 1: try to walk in a level of truth where the
[5:57] Speaker 1: conversations are real and true, because I know that's the
[5:59] Speaker 1: only we grow and we go. And so when people
[6:03] Speaker 1: are not that way with me, there's no alignment. And
[6:06] Speaker 1: that's what happened. Our alignment started misaligning. And so when
[6:12] Speaker 1: I finally said that, I'm teary eyed, and I actually
[6:14] Speaker 1: thought in that moment, I said, this is the end
[6:16] Speaker 1: of our friendship. Oh wow, this is it because no
[6:19] Speaker 1: one's telling her this truth. And she looked at me
[6:23] Speaker 1: and she was like, you're right, oof, And I was like,
[6:30] Speaker 1: this is in front of everybody, at the party. Yeah,
[6:32] Speaker 1: but and keep in mind everybody was doing that, so
[6:34] Speaker 1: she as the host was no different. Everybody was coming
[6:36] Speaker 1: clean if you will, and she said listen girl. I
[6:42] Speaker 1: was like, he has risen for real, right? And I
[6:47] Speaker 1: think she started her divorce process the next week. Wow.
[6:52] Speaker 1: Oh yeah. It didn't take long. And I was there,
[6:55] Speaker 1: you know, I was there through the process. And we
[6:57] Speaker 1: had a couple more times, you know, friends that she
[7:00] Speaker 1: felt like we're supportive. I was like, no, they not,
[7:03] Speaker 1: and she was like, yes they are. I was like, no,
[7:04] Speaker 1: they not. And so that started us in another level
[7:08] Speaker 1: of our friendship.
[7:09] Speaker 2: At that point, though, had you already been deep in
[7:11] Speaker 2: your like life coach a phase and I don't know,
[7:15] Speaker 2: just journey and oh yeah, you had already been deep
[7:17] Speaker 2: in that way and helped people and can see.
[7:21] Speaker 1: Things and yeah, yeah, I had. I call it answering
[7:24] Speaker 1: the calling, because it's nothing that I choose, you know,
[7:29] Speaker 1: in conversations. It's just you know that that that Spellman
[7:32] Speaker 1: College comes out, that science nerd comes out, and I
[7:35] Speaker 1: just start asking questions about life and and primarily just
[7:39] Speaker 1: trying to get to know people, you know, living you know,
[7:41] Speaker 1: I've grown up here in Hollywood, so for me, it's
[7:44] Speaker 1: been really hard coming from like the HBCU environment to Hollywood.
[7:50] Speaker 1: And you know, I'm also a member of the Signated Sorority,
[7:53] Speaker 1: so there's a sisterhood involved in all of this, right yea.
[7:55] Speaker 1: And I just wasn't finding it here and so I
[7:57] Speaker 1: started having certain conversations just had to get to know people,
[8:00] Speaker 1: and they were like whoa, okay, hold on, and they
[8:03] Speaker 1: would stay, where's my tissue? Where's And I was like,
[8:06] Speaker 1: I'm just trying to ask. And then one of my
[8:08] Speaker 1: close girlfriends, Spellman's sister, Tracy Blackwell, she's an executive at Amazon,
[8:13] Speaker 1: and she said, you know, you know you're a mirror, right,
[8:15] Speaker 1: Like sometimes people don't want to look in the mirror.
[8:17] Speaker 1: And it's so hard to be your friend because to
[8:19] Speaker 1: be your friend, you got to always tell the truth.
[8:21] Speaker 1: And I was like, but isn't that what love is?
[8:23] Speaker 1: Love is truth? So would you prefer to not live that?
[8:26] Speaker 1: She was like, see here you go again. So I'd
[8:30] Speaker 1: just be and me to be honest. It just started
[8:32] Speaker 1: happening and it's so funny. Yeah, you know, people started saying, Hey,
[8:35] Speaker 1: I need to talk to you, Hey, I need to
[8:36] Speaker 1: talk to you, and it just developed itself. Really. Wow,
[8:41] Speaker 1: it's funny you say that, because I think I think.
[8:47] Speaker 2: I have some of that gifts that you have in
[8:49] Speaker 2: terms of being able to see people. You know, I
[8:52] Speaker 2: can see people, and so sometimes that's my conversation is
[8:55] Speaker 2: rooted in what I see and then trying to understand
[8:59] Speaker 2: if I'm right, and then trying to get the person
[9:00] Speaker 2: to you know, So I do that, but in my
[9:02] Speaker 2: real life I also can do that, and so I
[9:05] Speaker 2: can see.
[9:06] Speaker 1: People around me. Do you walk in it?
[9:08] Speaker 2: Well, I sometimes do, but I think I have because
[9:13] Speaker 2: there's a thing about like overstepping or taking people places
[9:17] Speaker 2: they're not ready, or also there's like a burden in
[9:20] Speaker 2: it in a weird way.
[9:22] Speaker 1: It's like a like how you said, people are like,
[9:24] Speaker 1: oh it's too much.
[9:25] Speaker 2: Yeah, Sometimes people don't want to hear what you see.
[9:29] Speaker 2: And also I try to be humble in like, I
[9:31] Speaker 2: see that, and it's trueful what I see, but I
[9:35] Speaker 2: may not know all the nuances of why that's happening,
[9:38] Speaker 2: and so let me not try to overstep and let
[9:42] Speaker 2: me just and then but if somebody asks, or if
[9:44] Speaker 2: somebody leaves an open lane and it's of curiosity, I
[9:47] Speaker 2: will I will be honest, but I don't think I've
[9:50] Speaker 2: put myself in a position. I don't think my thing,
[9:51] Speaker 2: my walk is way different than yours in terms of like,
[9:55] Speaker 2: I don't know. In my personal life, I don't use it,
[9:58] Speaker 2: but I do have the gift that I haven't but
[10:01] Speaker 2: I don't all the way use it because does it
[10:02] Speaker 2: always feel appropriate for me?
[10:04] Speaker 1: Well? Does that make sense? It makes sense? And I'm
[10:07] Speaker 1: going to tell you where mind shifted because I tried
[10:11] Speaker 1: that for a long time. I'm not going to use
[10:12] Speaker 1: it in my personal life. I'm only going to use
[10:14] Speaker 1: it with clients. I'm not going to do speaking engagements.
[10:17] Speaker 1: I'm not going to do you know. I was trying
[10:19] Speaker 1: to pick and choose. Yeah, and God was like, yeah, no,
[10:23] Speaker 1: this is your assignment part of it, and so I
[10:25] Speaker 1: need you to surrender to it. And there's going to
[10:31] Speaker 1: be some life shifts, there's going to be some friendship shifts,
[10:35] Speaker 1: but people need your truth. And so that he was like,
[10:39] Speaker 1: you know, what are you going to do? And even
[10:41] Speaker 1: on social media, you know, my social media team for
[10:43] Speaker 1: a long time years ago is saying, you know, you
[10:46] Speaker 1: talked to us about the spiritual downloads, but you don't
[10:48] Speaker 1: share it. How come you don't share it.
[10:49] Speaker 2: I was like, well, it's not for everybody, and they
[10:51] Speaker 2: were like, you know, you'd be surprised how many people
[10:53] Speaker 2: want to hear.
[10:54] Speaker 1: From you, especially you know what your spiritual walk is like.
[10:57] Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I'll do it
[10:58] Speaker 1: every now and then. And I mean, whoosh, it's just
[11:02] Speaker 1: like a volcano. So I just and I'm still growing,
[11:06] Speaker 1: you know, I'm still learning where to use that we're
[11:09] Speaker 1: not and I think it's who we are, and it's
[11:13] Speaker 1: who we are, and people know that's who we are.
[11:16] Speaker 1: And even this space for you this you know, we're
[11:18] Speaker 1: we're not surprised you're in this space doing this, so
[11:21] Speaker 1: you are so so I think that's really what it is.
[11:23] Speaker 1: It's it's it's a matter of how much do I
[11:27] Speaker 1: accept the assignment and the and the divine alignment to
[11:31] Speaker 1: walk in this level of truth? YEA not easy, No,
[11:35] Speaker 1: can't be. That's why I say that to you.
[11:37] Speaker 2: I don't necessarily feel that my path is the same
[11:39] Speaker 2: my or my my assignments. I feel like they have
[11:42] Speaker 2: different assignments. Sure, similar maybe type of gift, but different
[11:46] Speaker 2: assignments and so or is that me not wanting to
[11:51] Speaker 2: fully own well, you.
[11:52] Speaker 1: Know what, I feel like this connection is divine, even
[11:58] Speaker 1: beyond the the the the conversation, because there's not a
[12:02] Speaker 1: lot of us to connect and so I mean, I
[12:06] Speaker 1: don't know who's in your life, but I know for
[12:07] Speaker 1: me one of the reasons I was excited to talk
[12:09] Speaker 1: to you is because I don't get a chance to
[12:11] Speaker 1: do this. I'm usually in the on the healing side
[12:14] Speaker 1: as opposed to letting it out and being healed. So
[12:18] Speaker 1: I don't know that i'm the healer here. I think
[12:19] Speaker 1: I just now you're running from it.
[12:21] Speaker 2: No, I'm not, because I don't sit in the seat
[12:23] Speaker 2: of it as a healer. I sit in the seat
[12:25] Speaker 2: as to see you and to understand you and to
[12:28] Speaker 2: help share your story for wherever it needs to land
[12:32] Speaker 2: out there.
[12:32] Speaker 1: So how do you feel when I say even that
[12:34] Speaker 1: is healing to give me a space to share my story?
[12:38] Speaker 2: Yes, that's okay, And if it is, that's great. That's
[12:40] Speaker 2: what I hope, That's what my hope is for it.
[12:42] Speaker 2: But I don't sit here with the intention to heal.
[12:45] Speaker 2: I sit here with the intention to to to see
[12:47] Speaker 2: it and to share it.
[12:48] Speaker 1: True about Yeah, I'm excited a lot of times, I'm
[12:56] Speaker 1: just saying, Hey, sometimes you may need a ear, sometimes
[12:59] Speaker 1: you may need a different perspective. Okay, so I'm not
[13:02] Speaker 1: aware that it's heeling, So tell me about this. So
[13:04] Speaker 1: tell me about what you do exactly. Because people even
[13:07] Speaker 1: hear the word, is it life coach? Is that? The
[13:09] Speaker 1: technicals is that?
[13:10] Speaker 2: What is?
[13:12] Speaker 1: What is your title? Like? If you had a business card,
[13:14] Speaker 1: what would it say? It would say life shifter. I
[13:21] Speaker 1: know that feels a little too you know, psychic, I think, yeah,
[13:27] Speaker 1: But I think it's a life shifter primarily because I'm
[13:30] Speaker 1: constantly shifting my life. So I know the steps, I
[13:34] Speaker 1: know the pains, I know the mountains, the valleys. So
[13:38] Speaker 1: whether it's relationship, whether it's professional, whether it's travel, whether
[13:42] Speaker 1: it's career, whatever it is. I try to help people
[13:47] Speaker 1: be open to the shifts that the universe is asking
[13:52] Speaker 1: of them, that the divine is asking of them. And
[13:55] Speaker 1: nine times out of ten, when we have these walls
[13:57] Speaker 1: we come up against, or when we have these speed bumps, roadblocks,
[14:02] Speaker 1: it's because we're resistant to the shift. And so I
[14:07] Speaker 1: try to live the example and talk about what happens
[14:11] Speaker 1: if you release the resistance.
[14:14] Speaker 2: You see, right when we talk about that, a lot
[14:19] Speaker 2: Britney'scision my producer here.
[14:21] Speaker 1: Yeah, well we talked about the lot like are we is?
[14:24] Speaker 1: Are things aligned?
[14:25] Speaker 2: And you could feel the difference when you're doing what
[14:27] Speaker 2: you're supposed to be doing and you're in the place
[14:29] Speaker 2: you're supposed to be, things feel different.
[14:32] Speaker 1: Do you know how many people don't use the word
[14:34] Speaker 1: align alignment? Nobody's living a life to even walk in
[14:39] Speaker 1: the that word. So so even that when I say,
[14:44] Speaker 1: you know, shifting into what's really aligned in your spirit
[14:48] Speaker 1: and your body in your mind again, the AJ zone
[14:51] Speaker 1: is is mind, body and spirit. So all of those
[14:54] Speaker 1: things are connected. A lot of people don't realize they're
[14:57] Speaker 1: all connected. So you know, my body helped is connected
[15:00] Speaker 1: to my mind health, it's connected to my spirit health.
[15:02] Speaker 1: I believe that all of it's foundation in my spirit health. Right,
[15:06] Speaker 1: I want a candy bar just like anybody else does,
[15:08] Speaker 1: but my spirit goes, okay, But are you gonna run
[15:10] Speaker 1: the three miles to get it off tomorrow? Because you
[15:12] Speaker 1: know you want to wear that new bikini and you
[15:13] Speaker 1: know you want to be cute on the beach and
[15:14] Speaker 1: you know, you know, you know, and is it worth it? No?
[15:16] Speaker 1: It's not? Okay? Good, so go you know, have some
[15:19] Speaker 1: have some carrot juice and keep on moving and you're
[15:21] Speaker 1: gonna feel good about yourself tomorrow in the bikini. So
[15:24] Speaker 1: it's it's spirit led. Most of it is spirit led,
[15:27] Speaker 1: which is where the alignment comes from. And I think
[15:30] Speaker 1: a lot of people try to try to move without
[15:33] Speaker 1: the alignment. So their relationship is a mess. Their families
[15:37] Speaker 1: are a mess, their friendships are a mess, their relationships
[15:41] Speaker 1: with coworkers are a mess. And it's because they're trying
[15:44] Speaker 1: to move without paying attention setting the boundaries with alignment
[15:49] Speaker 1: and living it.
[15:49] Speaker 2: What is the first somebody who's out of whack completely
[15:54] Speaker 2: not in alignment on anything, what.
[15:55] Speaker 1: Is the first matter of business to get aligned? For me? Again,
[15:59] Speaker 1: I started spirit and the first thing I say is,
[16:02] Speaker 1: you know, what's your spirit life like? What what do
[16:05] Speaker 1: you do on a daily basis that is spirit led?
[16:08] Speaker 1: And most of the time for someone like that, they'll
[16:10] Speaker 1: come back with a religious you know, I go to
[16:12] Speaker 1: church or I do. And I said, no, no, I'm not
[16:13] Speaker 1: talking about religion. I'm talking about spirit. You know, do
[16:16] Speaker 1: you believe in affirmations? Do you do you listen to
[16:20] Speaker 1: people who are inspirational and motivational? You know? Above and
[16:25] Speaker 1: beyond where you are for yourself? What's your spirit life like?
[16:28] Speaker 1: And nine times out of ten they don't have one,
[16:31] Speaker 1: And if they have one, it's not daily. And the
[16:33] Speaker 1: first thing I say is the reason why you're out
[16:35] Speaker 1: of whack is because there's nothing bigger than you guiding
[16:39] Speaker 1: you on a daily basis. Something has to be bigger
[16:43] Speaker 1: than you guiding you so that you know the roadmap
[16:46] Speaker 1: to follow. And that way, when things fall off on
[16:49] Speaker 1: a Tuesday or a Wednesday, you can say, oh, I
[16:52] Speaker 1: understand this because my Monday affirmation told me this was
[16:54] Speaker 1: going to happen, or you know, my Tuesday inspiration told
[16:58] Speaker 1: me this was going to happen. And so now I
[16:59] Speaker 1: know how to navigate it. What is it for you?
[17:06] Speaker 1: What is the thing that what is your alignment? How
[17:08] Speaker 1: do you stay aligned?
[17:09] Speaker 2: Like?
[17:09] Speaker 1: What is your Oh? My goodness through I every morning,
[17:14] Speaker 1: I don't start the day. One of my affirmations actually
[17:18] Speaker 1: starts by saying, before you speak to the world, speak
[17:21] Speaker 1: to your soul. And so I don't go on social media,
[17:24] Speaker 1: I don't check emails before I tune in with my devotions.
[17:28] Speaker 1: My devotions I got about free books I travel with
[17:31] Speaker 1: and the main one I've used it on TV shows
[17:33] Speaker 1: and it's called His Princess by Sherry Rose Shepherd, and
[17:36] Speaker 1: it's it's really letters from your divine and so it
[17:40] Speaker 1: will say, like today, this is what your lesson is.
[17:43] Speaker 1: And so I've taken it. A girlfriend of mine from
[17:45] Speaker 1: school gave it to me when I was going through
[17:47] Speaker 1: a bad break up years ago, but using it since
[17:48] Speaker 1: two thousand and six every day. And she's the one
[17:51] Speaker 1: who said, see if this guides you, and now I'm
[17:54] Speaker 1: helping her. She's like, I got you a book, but
[17:56] Speaker 1: I never thought it was gonna be like this. I
[17:58] Speaker 1: don't even use it like that. But but I asked
[18:01] Speaker 1: myself four questions. One is what is the virtue that
[18:05] Speaker 1: I'm being asked to practice by being given this reading.
[18:10] Speaker 1: I believe that our soul should be virtuous. Virtue means
[18:14] Speaker 1: to reach for a higher character, a higher standard of living,
[18:19] Speaker 1: so more patience, more kindness, more fortitude, more tenacity. And
[18:25] Speaker 1: so I always say, okay, what is this reading? What
[18:28] Speaker 1: virtue is this reading telling me to practice? That's question
[18:30] Speaker 1: number one. Question number two is what actions required of
[18:34] Speaker 1: me to demonstrate me practicing that virtue today? So it's
[18:38] Speaker 1: not enough to say Oh, my virtue's patience. I'm going
[18:40] Speaker 1: to be more patient. Nope, that's a concept. What's the action?
[18:44] Speaker 1: More patience means what not flipping a bird as somebody
[18:47] Speaker 1: cut me off on the freeway, helping the old lady
[18:50] Speaker 1: out of the grocery store, as opposed to running pastor
[18:52] Speaker 1: so I can get out the door faster instead of
[18:54] Speaker 1: screaming at the bank teller, Hey can we open another line?
[18:57] Speaker 1: Which is typically what I've been doing, you know, I
[19:00] Speaker 1: stand patiently and wait. So there's different ways to practice,
[19:04] Speaker 1: you know. And what I learned by the end of
[19:07] Speaker 1: that day, Oh, question number three is what do I
[19:09] Speaker 1: have to release to be better in my life that day?
[19:13] Speaker 1: And question number four is what's my action that demonstrates
[19:17] Speaker 1: the release. I ask those four questions on myself every
[19:20] Speaker 1: day every day to start my day. What was today's Today? Was?
[19:24] Speaker 1: Today was lead the lost? What was it? Lead the lost?
[19:28] Speaker 1: Which I get constantly? That that was my devotion. I
[19:32] Speaker 1: figured out that for today because I get the reading
[19:35] Speaker 1: all the time. Today my virtue was surrender because in
[19:42] Speaker 1: order to lead the lost. I realized that in the
[19:44] Speaker 1: reading it even says surrender to understanding that you're a
[19:49] Speaker 1: leader and that there's people who are wandering around it
[19:53] Speaker 1: literally says, wandering around this striy and thirsty land waiting
[19:56] Speaker 1: for you to fulfill their thirst spiritually. So as we
[20:00] Speaker 1: talked before, so I have to surrender to that. So
[20:02] Speaker 1: that was my my my virtuous surrender. So then it
[20:06] Speaker 1: becomes what's the action I have to demonstrate in order
[20:09] Speaker 1: for me to practice the surrender? And so the surrender
[20:14] Speaker 1: was It's okay that I don't know everything. I'm getting
[20:19] Speaker 1: shot talk about it again, It's okay that I don't
[20:21] Speaker 1: know anything. That I don't know everything, and that opens
[20:24] Speaker 1: me up to learn and to explore and to be
[20:29] Speaker 1: a spirit of adventure because what I'm gonna get I'm
[20:32] Speaker 1: gonna help somebody else with. Right, So that was.
[20:35] Speaker 2: My my my action in the virtue.
[20:38] Speaker 1: What do I have to release? Who in the surrender?
[20:43] Speaker 1: I have to release feeling like where I've been is
[20:49] Speaker 1: where I'm supposed to go. M So this is getting
[20:53] Speaker 1: into a whole other thing. For example, I'm living in
[20:57] Speaker 1: a right now. My my season is a season of
[21:01] Speaker 1: readjustment and a season of refinement. That's the season I'm
[21:05] Speaker 1: living in. What that means is okay, what that means
[21:09] Speaker 1: is this. So in the action, what do I have
[21:15] Speaker 1: to release? I have to release thinking that as an actress,
[21:19] Speaker 1: there's only certain things I'm supposed to do. You know,
[21:23] Speaker 1: there can be different things like for example, I love
[21:25] Speaker 1: that I get scripts where I'm the baby mama because
[21:27] Speaker 1: everybody knows me that. But I still want to do
[21:29] Speaker 1: action films. I still want to do spy films. I
[21:32] Speaker 1: still want to do, you know, horror films. I want
[21:34] Speaker 1: to do things where I can use my physicality and
[21:36] Speaker 1: my body and in more action. I've never done that.
[21:40] Speaker 1: So instead of talking myself out of that, I'm going
[21:43] Speaker 1: to release the resistance. That's a thing for us, releasing
[21:46] Speaker 1: the Resistance. I'm going to release the resistance to thinking
[21:50] Speaker 1: I have to do a certain kind of thing. That's
[21:52] Speaker 1: what I'm releasing. And then what do I do to
[21:55] Speaker 1: demonstrate the release? Confess it? I just confess to you
[22:00] Speaker 1: about it, share it some kind of way so that
[22:02] Speaker 1: I can hear myself and receive that release. Wow. Every day, Wow,
[22:09] Speaker 1: and that's just before nine o'clock. I ain't got out
[22:11] Speaker 1: of bed yet. No coffee, no energy drink, no gym.
[22:13] Speaker 1: My god, that's that's before I even start my day.
[22:16] Speaker 1: Could you imagine, like, was this always your like when
[22:18] Speaker 1: you were young and thinking about what your life would be,
[22:20] Speaker 1: was this even Did you always know that your work
[22:23] Speaker 1: would be in this kind of space or did you
[22:25] Speaker 1: absolutely not? No, I didn't know my work was going
[22:28] Speaker 1: to be in this kind of space ten years ago.
[22:30] Speaker 1: Oh wow, I just you know, I was. I was traveling,
[22:34] Speaker 1: I was, you know, on different sets. As an actress,
[22:37] Speaker 1: I've always started to be an actress. That was your like,
[22:40] Speaker 1: what was your I know, I didn't even want to
[22:42] Speaker 1: be an actress when I was younger. I wanted to
[22:44] Speaker 1: be I wanted to contribute in the gifts that I
[22:49] Speaker 1: was given. So I've always been athletic. I've always been
[22:52] Speaker 1: a dancer. I've always loved learning about different people. That
[22:57] Speaker 1: that's been my spirit. Now how it manifests professionally, I
[23:01] Speaker 1: had no idea, And so when I started dancing and
[23:03] Speaker 1: acting on stage, I was like, Okay, this is cool,
[23:05] Speaker 1: and I thought, well, let me just go to LA
[23:07] Speaker 1: and see what happened. And then that took off, you know,
[23:11] Speaker 1: and then I started thinking there's a part of me
[23:14] Speaker 1: that's that's sleep that I want to wake up, and
[23:16] Speaker 1: that's dealing with more people, not just the Hollywood celebrity
[23:19] Speaker 1: or on set thing like I want to I want
[23:21] Speaker 1: to really talk to people. And that even came out
[23:23] Speaker 1: of as I'm traveling people in the TSA lines would
[23:26] Speaker 1: be like, you know, hey, Jay, I read that article
[23:28] Speaker 1: and I read where you said, you know, don't eat bacon.
[23:32] Speaker 1: And I would say and I would say, okay, well
[23:33] Speaker 1: did you stop?
[23:34] Speaker 2: No?
[23:34] Speaker 1: But I read it sounds like why do you eat bacon?
[23:38] Speaker 1: Now I'm talking to this girl that works for TSA
[23:39] Speaker 1: in Atlanta for twenty minutes. But that's just part of
[23:42] Speaker 1: my spirit. You know. I'm a connector. And so I
[23:44] Speaker 1: started to think what can I do to connect with
[23:47] Speaker 1: more people? And God sent me the coaching. Wow. So again,
[23:52] Speaker 1: surrender to what is happening that aligns with who I am,
[23:56] Speaker 1: who I want to be, not judging it, not trying
[23:59] Speaker 1: to make a plan for it, but just being open,
[24:02] Speaker 1: being open to what it could be. What happens if
[24:05] Speaker 1: you just decide to be open? How do you decide
[24:09] Speaker 1: who receives this gift? Like?
[24:11] Speaker 2: How do you decide who to work with or who
[24:14] Speaker 2: to open up to or try to help?
[24:18] Speaker 1: I love you? So I do a startup consultation.
[24:21] Speaker 2: Because you know, because you could get worn out and
[24:25] Speaker 2: not be useful.
[24:26] Speaker 1: Well, I do a startup consultation professionally, and to see
[24:30] Speaker 1: if our vibe is great, to see if the person's
[24:33] Speaker 1: receptive to where I'm coming from. Some people are not
[24:37] Speaker 1: necessarily open enough to hear it from me, and that's okay.
[24:42] Speaker 1: I was actually afraid teacher wouldn't be open enough to
[24:44] Speaker 1: hear it from me. I was shocked when she was like,
[24:46] Speaker 1: you're right, and I was like, what So I like
[24:49] Speaker 1: to make sure that my technique and my tone and
[24:54] Speaker 1: my energy is right for someone. Oh yeah. Sometimes it's
[24:57] Speaker 1: not even personally, you know, when people say come to me,
[25:00] Speaker 1: my friends, come to that for me, come to me
[25:02] Speaker 1: for advice or family. A lot of times I'll have
[25:05] Speaker 1: fast permission and I'll say, so where I'm about to go,
[25:09] Speaker 1: you know, tell me if it's too much, or tell
[25:11] Speaker 1: me if this is not where you want to go,
[25:13] Speaker 1: because this is where I'm being led to go. No, no, no,
[25:15] Speaker 1: I want to hear everything. Okay, great, And then sometimes
[25:17] Speaker 1: they'll get mad. Well, I don't believe that was gonna
[25:20] Speaker 1: hold on because you told me, you know. And here's
[25:24] Speaker 1: the other thing. I try to be consistent so that
[25:26] Speaker 1: when people come to me, I say, doh, forget you
[25:28] Speaker 1: asked me. You know who you're talking to. So it's
[25:31] Speaker 1: not gonna be sugarcoated, it's not gonna be fluff. It's
[25:34] Speaker 1: gonna be the honest truth with love. But it's gonna
[25:37] Speaker 1: be honest. And if you don't want that, then you
[25:39] Speaker 1: should probably call somebody else. And so that's where we start.
[25:43] Speaker 1: And some people I have to go slower with. Some
[25:46] Speaker 1: people say I knew what, I knew what I just
[25:48] Speaker 1: need to hear from you. So I'm open this. I'm
[25:50] Speaker 1: open again to seeing how people receive what I have
[25:54] Speaker 1: to give them.
[25:55] Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
[25:56] Speaker 1: That's so interesting. Have you ever pissed somebody? Have you?
[25:58] Speaker 1: I know, you said the people could get mad, but like,
[26:00] Speaker 1: have you ever.
[26:02] Speaker 2: Used that or tried to help somebody in a backfight
[26:07] Speaker 2: or you felt maybe you got it wrong?
[26:08] Speaker 1: Or because I always.
[26:09] Speaker 2: Worry about that, that's the thing I worry about where
[26:11] Speaker 2: I like, if I want to offer somebody some advice,
[26:14] Speaker 2: I'm like careful because you.
[26:17] Speaker 1: Know, people's lives are tricky.
[26:19] Speaker 2: Like you know, you can think you know what's going
[26:21] Speaker 2: on with your friend, you don't really all the way
[26:23] Speaker 2: know what's going on inside the house, and then you
[26:25] Speaker 2: offer an advice. This is just right and regularly, like
[26:28] Speaker 2: you know, you try to give an advice and it
[26:30] Speaker 2: actually doesn't work well. So I'm always careful for me.
[26:33] Speaker 2: So I wonder when it's actually what you've been known
[26:35] Speaker 2: to do. Do you ever fearful of.
[26:37] Speaker 1: Like our advice that doesn't work for someone? You know
[26:40] Speaker 1: what I mean? Well, I'm not. I'm not fearful. I
[26:44] Speaker 1: try to stay away from that word. I'm hesitating sometimes
[26:48] Speaker 1: I'm unsure. Yeah, I'm never fearful. Good ever nothing Now
[26:53] Speaker 1: I'm sure, unsteady, uh, hesitant, like I said, timid. But
[27:05] Speaker 1: because remember how I start my day now, so I
[27:08] Speaker 1: feel like my day is being governed. You have full
[27:11] Speaker 1: confidence in that. Yeah, So wherever I'm being sent, I
[27:14] Speaker 1: know it's part of my unfolding of that day, which
[27:17] Speaker 1: is another reason why I started in spirit, so that
[27:19] Speaker 1: I understand what's happening. And with some people, you know,
[27:23] Speaker 1: I'll say, I'm not sure if you're really ready for
[27:26] Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say, so let's just back up, and
[27:29] Speaker 1: most people go, no, no, no, I want to hear.
[27:31] Speaker 1: I want to hear what you're going to say, and
[27:33] Speaker 1: then I'll start asking questions. If somebody's in a bad relationship,
[27:36] Speaker 1: I don't just jump in and say I don't think
[27:38] Speaker 1: this relationship is good for you. The first thing I
[27:40] Speaker 1: say is, you know, one day you told me that
[27:43] Speaker 1: you wanted to be honored. Do you feel like this
[27:46] Speaker 1: relationship is honoring you? Tears? I'll ask questions for mirror, Yeah,
[27:52] Speaker 1: I'll just ask questions. I'll say, you know, you told
[27:56] Speaker 1: me a few weeks ago that your relationship with your
[27:59] Speaker 1: mother was, you know, tumultuous and painful for you. So
[28:05] Speaker 1: is it still it is? Well, then why do you
[28:07] Speaker 1: talk to her every day? Why are you volunteering to
[28:10] Speaker 1: go in that painful place every day? Why don't you
[28:12] Speaker 1: try to do Monday, Wednesday, Friday, maybe just Sunday morning catchups?
[28:16] Speaker 1: But you're worthy? And then I'll say, well, wait, do
[28:19] Speaker 1: you believe you're worthy of less pain in that relationship? Tears?
[28:24] Speaker 2: So you know it used tears as a sign of
[28:26] Speaker 2: like openness, because even like when.
[28:28] Speaker 1: You were getting emotional.
[28:29] Speaker 2: I know, I know for me, like sometimes if I'm
[28:32] Speaker 2: getting to some type of truth that maybe I haven't
[28:34] Speaker 2: said out loud, or sometimes if I'm discovering something in
[28:38] Speaker 2: real time that will that will bring a tear to me. Yeah,
[28:41] Speaker 2: So I kind of I use it as a gauge
[28:43] Speaker 2: of like something real or absolutely And sometimes.
[28:45] Speaker 1: I'll say to people, so, what made you just cry?
[28:48] Speaker 1: What was that? Because I don't want to assume, you know,
[28:52] Speaker 1: so I'll say to people that that just choked you
[28:54] Speaker 1: up or that brought tears. Tell me why what about
[28:56] Speaker 1: that made you cry? Because that's the open space. So like,
[29:02] Speaker 1: even in that that was a real situation. And one
[29:04] Speaker 1: of my girlfriends, this was even a client. When one
[29:07] Speaker 1: of my girlfriends, when I said what made you cry?
[29:08] Speaker 1: She said, I just realized I don't feel worthy and
[29:12] Speaker 1: that that makes me sad. And I said, okay, well
[29:15] Speaker 1: let's start there, because we have to start with you
[29:18] Speaker 1: understanding and walking in your worthiness and then we can
[29:22] Speaker 1: fix the relationship with your mother or the painful You
[29:25] Speaker 1: really are a therapist, am I? Yes?
[29:29] Speaker 2: But this is how I friend, How I friend, This
[29:32] Speaker 2: is how you friend, which is why a lot of
[29:33] Speaker 2: friends are like, oh, it's too much.
[29:35] Speaker 1: You take that to your clients. This is just how
[29:37] Speaker 1: I friend and how I care and how I'm a sister.
[29:41] Speaker 1: You know. I made comments on Instagram and everybody's like,
[29:43] Speaker 1: here she goes with a whole therapy session of the comment,
[29:46] Speaker 1: and I'm like, it's just this is therapy. Have you
[29:50] Speaker 1: done therapy before? Have you had myself? Yes? Absolutely?
[29:53] Speaker 2: Well so you know it's it's like, well, a good therapist, yes,
[29:58] Speaker 2: they're not all equal.
[30:00] Speaker 1: A good therapist should be a mirror. Well, well, I
[30:04] Speaker 1: guess I want to ask, what's the difference between a
[30:05] Speaker 1: life coach or a life shifter and a therapist? Is
[30:09] Speaker 1: there a difference? I don't know.
[30:10] Speaker 2: I would ask you the same. I think you would
[30:12] Speaker 2: know that answer better than maybe. I mean, it's more
[30:14] Speaker 2: in the space, but I would think it's just paperwork.
[30:17] Speaker 1: I don't know, well, you know what, or a schooling
[30:21] Speaker 1: or I don't know what it is. I think the
[30:23] Speaker 1: difference is. And I mean I don't really study therapists
[30:27] Speaker 1: that much. But for me, I know what other people
[30:30] Speaker 1: who have a therapist that also work with me, they say,
[30:33] Speaker 1: first of all, most therapists are textbook, as they should
[30:37] Speaker 1: be because the license depends on it. For me, I'm
[30:40] Speaker 1: more spiritually foundationed. I use a lot of self life experience.
[30:45] Speaker 1: A lot of therapists don't. I feel like in most
[30:48] Speaker 1: cases my life has been geared to help people. So
[30:54] Speaker 1: I've gone through losing my mother young, yielding my father,
[30:57] Speaker 1: family dynamics that don't work for my life, career, relationships
[31:02] Speaker 1: that you know, don't last more than two weeks, you know,
[31:04] Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff, and so using that to try
[31:08] Speaker 1: to guide and shift I feel like it's more personal
[31:11] Speaker 1: than therapy. Oof, Yeah, what made you just ooh? Because
[31:19] Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, I know what made you just do? No,
[31:22] Speaker 1: that's good. I love that. It's because you see things
[31:26] Speaker 1: so clearly and you see people so clearly. But even
[31:29] Speaker 1: in what you just said, I realized that doesn't exempt you.
[31:34] Speaker 2: It doesn't from a bad relationship or getting things wrong,
[31:39] Speaker 2: or it's or experiencing trauma, or it's like it's the fun.
[31:43] Speaker 2: You can do all the devotions, you can do all
[31:45] Speaker 2: the things, and life can.
[31:47] Speaker 1: Still be hard in many ways. And I feel like
[31:49] Speaker 1: that's the foundation of my professional side personal too. But
[31:54] Speaker 1: you know, even when I'm starting a new client, the
[31:56] Speaker 1: first thing I say is, you know, my technique is
[31:58] Speaker 1: to share with you, So you know, I don't feel
[32:02] Speaker 1: like we've gone through anything drastically different, at least emotionally spiritually.
[32:07] Speaker 1: The way those things may manifest in our lives could
[32:09] Speaker 1: be different. But trauma is trauma, and how we navigate
[32:14] Speaker 1: the trauma, how long it takes, as unique as we are, right,
[32:17] Speaker 1: and just to have an accountability partner, to have a
[32:24] Speaker 1: to have a partnership in navigating the trauma, I feel
[32:28] Speaker 1: like can help people. And so I say, listen, you know,
[32:32] Speaker 1: I went through a relationship worse than that, and a
[32:33] Speaker 1: lot of people laugh like recently, No, well what's recent?
[32:38] Speaker 2: Like I don't know, healed the version of you since
[32:39] Speaker 2: you're doing all this work, and I.
[32:42] Speaker 1: Feel like in alignment like you, I feel like I
[32:47] Speaker 1: am in constant healing because I you know, I like partnership.
[32:52] Speaker 1: I don't find it, you know, no intimidating. I wondered
[32:56] Speaker 1: in like relationships, how this way of life affects It's
[33:00] Speaker 1: always comes up because the boys or the girls.
[33:06] Speaker 2: I don't know, Okay, I just I have a very complex,
[33:11] Speaker 2: diverse life and I just can't find the person that
[33:17] Speaker 2: that really can help me with all that.
[33:20] Speaker 1: And that partner is so I have often I have
[33:23] Speaker 1: more than one partner or just this. Yeah, And so
[33:28] Speaker 1: you know, once again, I'm open to what my life,
[33:31] Speaker 1: you know, my life you know, one may be a traveler,
[33:34] Speaker 1: one may be my hiking partner, one may be going
[33:37] Speaker 1: to the movies. You know, right now, my hiking partner,
[33:39] Speaker 1: I want to see a particular movie is three hours long.
[33:42] Speaker 1: I want to see a particular movie a second time.
[33:43] Speaker 1: They're like, we just saw it, and I was like,
[33:44] Speaker 1: I know, but now I want to go as an
[33:45] Speaker 1: actress and pick a part I don't want to go. Okay,
[33:47] Speaker 1: it's not gonna stop me from going. So now I've
[33:50] Speaker 1: got somebody else who wants to see it twice, and
[33:52] Speaker 1: I'll just be like, you know what, I'll let you
[33:53] Speaker 1: know how it goes. I'm going with somebody else, So
[33:56] Speaker 1: you know that works for my life right now. I
[34:04] Speaker 1: you know. The other thing is nothing but younger hits
[34:07] Speaker 1: on me and you laugh like you're not surprised. I'm
[34:12] Speaker 1: not surprised, nothing but younger. I'm the baby, yeah, you know,
[34:16] Speaker 1: forty and under. And I used to resist that a lot.
[34:21] Speaker 1: Now I don't. If I'm having a blast. I am,
[34:24] Speaker 1: I am, I am, my my energy, my interest, my
[34:30] Speaker 1: spirit connects a lot stronger with younger men. And I'm yeah,
[34:41] Speaker 1: you know, and of course I don't really care what
[34:43] Speaker 1: other people think because it's my life, it's my my happy,
[34:46] Speaker 1: it's my joy.
[34:47] Speaker 2: When you have this type of calling and you're dating
[34:49] Speaker 2: somebody or especially a younger man, do you is there
[34:52] Speaker 2: a line in terms of that or you also a
[34:54] Speaker 2: mirror to this peron to them? Well, I'll tell you.
[34:58] Speaker 2: In order for me to date, no matter what it,
[35:00] Speaker 2: no matter what the age is, there's got to be
[35:03] Speaker 2: a mutual spirituality that we feed each other. So I
[35:08] Speaker 2: think that probably in the last three to five years,
[35:11] Speaker 2: most of the men I've been intimately involved with, there's
[35:14] Speaker 2: a spirit, there's a spirit that we mirror each other
[35:17] Speaker 2: and we challenge each other, and that's really the foundation.
[35:21] Speaker 1: It can't be foreign to him, like you can date
[35:23] Speaker 1: with somebody who's come on now. I mean, you know,
[35:26] Speaker 1: if we can't have that first conversation and consistent conversation,
[35:30] Speaker 1: then there's not much else. We can have fun and
[35:32] Speaker 1: we can hike, but again, you know, hike is is
[35:35] Speaker 1: an hour. It's an hour, it's an hour's worth of time.
[35:38] Speaker 1: So what are we talking about? And so you know,
[35:41] Speaker 1: for me, that's the first that's the first attraction for
[35:43] Speaker 1: me is what's happening in our spirit and our spirit connection.
[35:46] Speaker 1: That's the first. Now, you know, if your chocolate six'
[35:49] Speaker 1: five with some, shoulders then that helps. Too BUT i
[35:53] Speaker 1: like that for short. HELP i like that you're specific
[35:56] Speaker 1: about you pretty, smile you, know pretty you, know cleaning
[36:00] Speaker 1: soul in the. Eyes, YEAH i JUST i just Pat
[36:05] Speaker 1: her is so. Funny that, helps you, know that, Helps
[36:09] Speaker 1: but there's got to be a spiritual. Thing it's so.
[36:10] Speaker 2: Funny it's funny because we've heard you, know we mentioned
[36:14] Speaker 2: THE t shirt, thing but Also, gab we Had gab
[36:16] Speaker 2: on the show, Also who'll also credits you for helping
[36:19] Speaker 2: her kind of see that there was a mean girl
[36:22] Speaker 2: in there. Somewhere, yeah was it the same kind of
[36:24] Speaker 2: experience where you just saw something and she was open
[36:27] Speaker 2: to you being honest with, her and, yeah you, Know
[36:30] Speaker 2: gab AND i had been working together for a minute
[36:32] Speaker 2: and we had been talking about no friendships In, hollywood
[36:37] Speaker 2: and of COURSE i ADMITTED i didn't have, many and
[36:39] Speaker 2: at the, time there was a lot of more there
[36:43] Speaker 2: was a lot less roles In, hollywood so there's a
[36:45] Speaker 2: lot more competition between. Us SO i was saying to,
[36:48] Speaker 2: her you, know it's it's very hard to make friends
[36:50] Speaker 2: when you're competing, constantly you, know whether you're in the
[36:53] Speaker 2: room auditioning or, not there's always a. Competition AND i,
[36:56] Speaker 2: said it's hard to make friends that. Way and then
[36:58] Speaker 2: we just happened to go to an event together AND
[37:01] Speaker 2: i saw, her you, know distance somebody AND i was, like,
[37:05] Speaker 2: no wait a. Minute AND i literally at the, TIME
[37:07] Speaker 2: i said to, her, now is this the same woman
[37:09] Speaker 2: that wants to be friends that's now talking about this?
[37:12] Speaker 1: Girl that's where it. Started and she was, like you,
[37:14] Speaker 1: KNOW i, was WASN'T? I AND i said, Yeah AND
[37:16] Speaker 1: i was, like but you, know what does it profit?
[37:18] Speaker 1: You and she just looked at me and was, like
[37:23] Speaker 1: and that was a turn in our, coaching you, know
[37:25] Speaker 1: for the. Better and so once again it's just it's,
[37:28] Speaker 1: questions you. Know BUT i Mean i've worked With Nicolelaariray,
[37:30] Speaker 1: Parker i've worked with Me Linda. Williams i've worked With
[37:33] Speaker 1: Emily blunt And. HATHAWAY i, mean you, Know i've been
[37:36] Speaker 1: blessed to CONNECT i say work, with but to connect
[37:40] Speaker 1: with some really really, dynamic, dynamic amazing, people not just,
[37:44] Speaker 1: women but. People And i'm honored That i've been chosen
[37:50] Speaker 1: divinely and that they've chosen to trust me and to
[37:53] Speaker 1: at least take a look at themselves from the perspective
[37:57] Speaker 1: THAT i look within, myself and all in an effort to. Elevate,
[38:02] Speaker 1: Yeah i'm sure you learn things from. Them it's probably
[38:05] Speaker 1: reciprocal in some. Ways right where in those relationships that
[38:09] Speaker 1: you form with these. Women i'm sure there has.
[38:11] Speaker 2: To because even the women you're, mentioning they're all extraordinary. Women, yeah,
[38:15] Speaker 2: yeah you know WHAT i, mean that's What i'm.
[38:17] Speaker 1: Saying it's, like you, KNOW i say to, people you,
[38:19] Speaker 1: know how do you coach someone who's who's so dynamic
[38:22] Speaker 1: and so amazing and so well known globally for? Things
[38:27] Speaker 1: but sometimes that can be a. Block when you're so
[38:30] Speaker 1: known for something and you want to do something, else
[38:33] Speaker 1: that can be a. Block but for the most, part
[38:36] Speaker 1: What i've learned not so much from, them But i've
[38:40] Speaker 1: learned in working with them as we've, coached is if
[38:45] Speaker 1: you believe from your soul that the world is open to,
[38:51] Speaker 1: you that's where the shifts. START i remember even With Anne,
[38:57] Speaker 1: hathaway you, know she wanted to be, married she want
[38:59] Speaker 1: to to have, kids and you, know at that time she,
[39:02] Speaker 1: was you, know just a budding. Artist AND i said
[39:04] Speaker 1: but if that's what you, want how do you know
[39:07] Speaker 1: that that life is not going to fuel you into
[39:09] Speaker 1: even a better? Actress and so she was, like and
[39:13] Speaker 1: so that's the. Thing it's, like you, know how do
[39:15] Speaker 1: we open ourselves? Up how do we open ourselves up
[39:18] Speaker 1: to be what we're dreaming of beyond what we've? Become Dan,
[39:23] Speaker 1: air it is again you hear that. One see it
[39:26] Speaker 1: just kind of comes. Down you, know this is not,
[39:28] Speaker 1: planning just kind of comes out. RIGHT i, mean isn't that?
[39:30] Speaker 1: Great that's pretty. GREAT i mean if you think about, it,
[39:33] Speaker 1: like if there's got to be something else you want
[39:34] Speaker 1: to do beyond where you? Are oh for? Sure every
[39:36] Speaker 1: day right too?
[39:38] Speaker 2: Much, Sometimes so IF i say to, you what happens
[39:41] Speaker 2: if you open yourself up to just really believe from
[39:44] Speaker 2: your soul that what you're dreaming can really.
[39:47] Speaker 1: Be what's the one thing you would say it? Was
[39:50] Speaker 1: you're asking me the. Question ask it to me. Again,
[39:53] Speaker 1: okay if there's there's one thing that you are wanting for, Yourself,
[39:59] Speaker 1: yes there's one thing that you're dreaming of that before this,
[40:03] Speaker 1: moment before this, now you may not have truly believed
[40:08] Speaker 1: it could be. Possible but right now connected, Sisters i'm
[40:14] Speaker 1: aligning with you in the belief that it's just waiting for.
[40:18] Speaker 1: You what is. It that's a.
[40:22] Speaker 2: Weird question for me BECAUSE i Think i'm currently in
[40:25] Speaker 2: the process of actually.
[40:28] Speaker 1: Trying to step into that. Space SO i had some
[40:32] Speaker 1: Scripts i've.
[40:33] Speaker 2: Written i've always wanted to direct, something AND i always
[40:35] Speaker 2: thought that was such a far fetch for me because
[40:37] Speaker 2: it's not really my.
[40:38] Speaker 1: Space but you believed it wasn't really your.
[40:41] Speaker 2: SPACE i believe, that, Yes but, ultimately Like i'm a,
[40:46] Speaker 2: Storyteller i'm a, storyteller you, know not that.
[40:49] Speaker 1: Crazy it's really not that.
[40:50] Speaker 2: Crazy it's just you, know technical STUFF i didn't know
[40:53] Speaker 2: AND i had to, learn and there's. Things there was
[40:54] Speaker 2: some WORK i had to put in WHICH i have
[40:56] Speaker 2: quietly been doing for a few.
[40:57] Speaker 1: Years and see there's that.
[40:59] Speaker 2: Quietly what's quietly because it's learning and you AND i
[41:02] Speaker 2: don't necessarily want to learn out, loud and or it's
[41:05] Speaker 2: not THAT i don't want, TO i just didn't feel
[41:06] Speaker 2: the need, to you, know learn it quite as a capricorn,
[41:09] Speaker 2: thing is? It?
[41:10] Speaker 1: Oh, Yeah BUT i wasn't hiding.
[41:12] Speaker 2: It it was just SOMETHING i was working on for,
[41:13] Speaker 2: Me LIKE i was taking classes and doing shadowing people
[41:18] Speaker 2: and doing things just BECAUSE i had a genuine interest
[41:20] Speaker 2: in a thing THAT i wanted to. Do SO i don't,
[41:24] Speaker 2: know in the past year or TWO i HAVE i
[41:26] Speaker 2: have gotten the legs to finish like some of the
[41:29] Speaker 2: Scripts i've been working, on put them in front of,
[41:32] Speaker 2: people make a sizzle like a like a to show,
[41:36] Speaker 2: people like a what it would look.
[41:37] Speaker 1: Like and so we're getting.
[41:39] Speaker 2: Close i'm getting, closer like super close. Now and so
[41:43] Speaker 2: it's that that's probably the closer to being in a
[41:47] Speaker 2: position to be able to do that because it's not just.
[41:50] Speaker 2: Me it's not just. ME i don't Think i'm blocking my.
[41:53] Speaker 2: Way it's just putting the things in place to make
[41:56] Speaker 2: other people helped me to do as You i'm sure
[41:59] Speaker 2: you know, this plenty of things that you. Would it's
[42:01] Speaker 2: like it sometimes it requires other people to get on.
[42:04] Speaker 2: Board SO i have to do everything THAT i have
[42:06] Speaker 2: to do to be able to make it very clear
[42:09] Speaker 2: for those type of.
[42:10] Speaker 1: People it's not THAT i don't believe, it RIGHT i.
[42:13] Speaker 1: Do is there anything in that same question that you
[42:17] Speaker 1: don't have to rely on anyone else but yourself to?
[42:20] Speaker 1: Do right now That i'm not doing anything like, huhm only. You, yeah,
[42:31] Speaker 1: yes but even if you don't share.
[42:33] Speaker 2: It, No, NO i think it's just. Time is my
[42:36] Speaker 2: big t believe it's. Time it's not belief for. Me,
[42:39] Speaker 2: yeah it's. Time it's like organizing things in my life
[42:43] Speaker 2: to be able to prioritize, that which could require me
[42:46] Speaker 2: letting go of some things that don't serve me.
[42:50] Speaker 1: Anymore so here we, go you know WHAT i.
[42:53] Speaker 2: Mean that's the balance of life for, everybody, Right like
[42:56] Speaker 2: you have to figure that part, out like.
[42:58] Speaker 1: Opening the gate to just the. Openness, yeah for, sure
[43:03] Speaker 1: there's a there's a Project i'm working on And i'm
[43:06] Speaker 1: kind of in the same boat as, you and it's
[43:09] Speaker 1: completely new and different for.
[43:10] Speaker 2: Me.
[43:10] Speaker 1: Yeah And i'm just gonna say it's it's crime. Related, crazy,
[43:17] Speaker 1: right are you not? Crazy? No not? Crazy BUT i.
[43:20] Speaker 1: Am IF i wasn't in this, LIFE i would probably
[43:24] Speaker 1: be a forensic. Scientist this is. Crazy is that one
[43:28] Speaker 1: of your? Projects, no it's not just get. Hired, NO
[43:30] Speaker 1: i HAVE i have a.
[43:31] Speaker 2: GIRL i HAVE I, No, NO i have a girlfriend
[43:33] Speaker 2: that when you when you said to me it's in
[43:34] Speaker 2: the crime. Space she came to my. Head she's a
[43:37] Speaker 2: friend of mine who used to be a forensic. Scientist
[43:41] Speaker 2: but her name came to me when you said the first.
[43:43] Speaker 2: Line she had a party one time in her, house
[43:46] Speaker 2: AND i, thought when when you said, IT i said
[43:47] Speaker 2: to her, NAME i, said, OH A j would have
[43:48] Speaker 2: loved that. Party this was going down my. HEAD j
[43:50] Speaker 2: would have loved that party that she. Threw she threw
[43:52] Speaker 2: a party where she listened to this, party she showed us,
[43:57] Speaker 2: scenes a real of real crime. Scenes so she has
[44:02] Speaker 2: ten to fifteen girlfriends in the. House we're eating, already
[44:06] Speaker 2: we're eating, popcorn we're having, cocktails and she shows this
[44:09] Speaker 2: the scene like some one guy was like a hoarder
[44:12] Speaker 2: and he looked and he passed in his stuff and
[44:16] Speaker 2: at first it's, horrible but through her eyes she, said
[44:20] Speaker 2: so we went in and this is what it. Was
[44:22] Speaker 2: and this man own this was his.
[44:23] Speaker 1: Cat he loved his. Cat he. Went she's, like she
[44:26] Speaker 1: just painted such a different story and it was the most.
[44:29] Speaker 2: INTERESTING i was, like you're, crazy but this party was
[44:34] Speaker 2: actually kind of, amazing kind of dig. It it was
[44:38] Speaker 2: like kind of amazing in a weird. WAY i couldn't
[44:41] Speaker 2: do it all the time Because i'm not built for.
[44:42] Speaker 2: That like imagery is like important to me LIKE i
[44:45] Speaker 2: can't put too many images THAT i don't want to
[44:47] Speaker 2: keep in. Me but, yeah it's just it was. Wild
[44:51] Speaker 2: SO i don't know. WHY i feel like you should know.
[44:53] Speaker 2: Her i'm going to connect. Her, yeah WOULD i would love.
[44:54] Speaker 1: IT i, mean you, know again this in this season
[44:59] Speaker 1: of redirection and, refinement AS i, said you, know being
[45:03] Speaker 1: open to the new and. Different i've gone through some heavy.
[45:09] Speaker 1: Betrayal i've gone through some heavy, disappointment and because of
[45:15] Speaker 1: my devotions and my spirit, WORK i know it's not.
[45:18] Speaker 1: PUNISHMENT i know it's growing and stretching. Me and so
[45:22] Speaker 1: Now i'm in a space Where i'm paying really close
[45:25] Speaker 1: attention to what it's aligning for with. Me and SO
[45:30] Speaker 1: i feel, like which you'll, know you'll know more when it.
[45:33] Speaker 1: Happens you can be. BLACK i remember when you said,
[45:34] Speaker 1: That but that's kind of where it's coming. From it's
[45:37] Speaker 1: like the level of betrayal and everybody goes through, it
[45:40] Speaker 1: which is also helping me in my, work but to
[45:42] Speaker 1: a point WHERE i never THOUGHT i would experience, it
[45:45] Speaker 1: to a point WHERE i feel LIKE i could use it.
[45:49] Speaker 1: Creatively and so Again god takes me and elevates me
[45:53] Speaker 1: to a new understanding of being, betrayed and sometimes betrayal
[45:57] Speaker 1: leads to.
[45:57] Speaker 2: Crime, Right so you took your own betrayal and you're
[46:05] Speaker 2: making some, something some kind of.
[46:07] Speaker 1: Beauty out of. It hell, yeah, man you know it's
[46:10] Speaker 1: like that's what it's supposed to. Be like you use
[46:12] Speaker 1: your life to create or imitates. LIFE i have cards.
[46:14] Speaker 2: Here oh, okay we had a card THAT i was
[46:18] Speaker 2: trying to.
[46:19] Speaker 1: Find it was about being a life. Coach oh where is? It?
[46:22] Speaker 1: Oh here we? Go, WELL i just got. Nervous. WHY
[46:25] Speaker 1: i don't. Know it's not like a test you can't.
[46:27] Speaker 1: Fail it's not, Like, OKAY i still love. It you're
[46:31] Speaker 1: so down for. EVERYTHING i love that about. YOU i love.
[46:34] Speaker 1: THAT i love that about. You what would you like
[46:35] Speaker 1: as a, child by the way you? Were oh, yeah court.
[46:40] Speaker 2: In like kindergarten where you like, PROBABLY i, mean you,
[46:45] Speaker 2: KNOW i just, REMEMBER.
[46:48] Speaker 1: I just. Loved and that's What i'm. Saying i've always
[46:50] Speaker 1: been without. FEAR i don't say fear. LESS i just
[46:53] Speaker 1: have always been more interested in what where's this taking?
[46:57] Speaker 1: Me as opposed TO i Think i'm gonna hold myself
[46:59] Speaker 1: back and not. Go, so you, know from insects to
[47:03] Speaker 1: animals to jump over the creek to can you do a? Cartwheel?
[47:06] Speaker 1: LIKE i was always willing to try and SOMETIMES i
[47:08] Speaker 1: failed and had to practice TILL i got. It But
[47:10] Speaker 1: i'm still that way. Still can't you see her a
[47:13] Speaker 1: six year? Old? AHA i could see?
[47:15] Speaker 2: Her. Amazing, okay so these are some of this is
[47:20] Speaker 2: for our irl audience who may need a little.
[47:22] Speaker 1: Help, okay you see where we're going with, This.
[47:25] Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah so we were looking at some of the
[47:28] Speaker 2: things that some of the hardest points not just, hard
[47:31] Speaker 2: but the most monumental points in people's lives that they
[47:35] Speaker 2: may struggle, with transition or heartbreak or you, know new
[47:40] Speaker 2: things at our. Hearts and so we looked at some
[47:42] Speaker 2: of the biggest changes in people's. Lives divorce one of.
[47:46] Speaker 2: Them you got you people do? That. Yeah so Then
[47:50] Speaker 2: i'd ask the Question i'd ask around that, is how
[47:53] Speaker 2: does somebody heal after?
[47:54] Speaker 1: That, like what is.
[47:55] Speaker 2: The fastest route to healing after?
[47:58] Speaker 1: That i've dealt with a few, divorces and, uh What i'll,
[48:07] Speaker 1: say for for our times sake right, now is so
[48:10] Speaker 1: often people get angered to the circumstance as opposed to
[48:17] Speaker 1: anchoring to who they are and what this union was
[48:22] Speaker 1: supposed to help them shine in AND i believe. THAT
[48:27] Speaker 1: i believe your union is supposed to help you, shine
[48:30] Speaker 1: and if it's, not then why are you choosing. It
[48:33] Speaker 1: that's kind of WHERE i. Start what what happened in this?
[48:36] Speaker 1: Union then it either stops or shine or you know
[48:40] Speaker 1: what what? Happened and a lot of people SAY i never.
[48:44] Speaker 1: SHINED i just felt, like you, know this was gonna
[48:46] Speaker 1: be a good life, choice and OR i want to,
[48:47] Speaker 1: move or he was MAKING i, mean there's a lot
[48:49] Speaker 1: of different reasons why people, pressure pressure of being. Coupled,
[48:52] Speaker 1: yeah you, Know i'm getting, older SO i, thought you,
[48:54] Speaker 1: know this is what's going on in my life right.
[48:56] Speaker 1: Now so and so WHEN i hear those kind of,
[48:59] Speaker 1: answers it's, Like, okay now what we have to do
[49:02] Speaker 1: is discover where your shine is because you didn't know
[49:07] Speaker 1: to demand it in the. Relationship so now we've got
[49:10] Speaker 1: to go back AND i say soul. EXCAVATION i use
[49:13] Speaker 1: a term a. Lot we got to go back soul
[49:15] Speaker 1: and a soul excavate go deeper into your soul to
[49:17] Speaker 1: find out why did you choose a life path where
[49:20] Speaker 1: you didn't? Shine and then let's fix that and see
[49:24] Speaker 1: the new people it, attracts and then nine times out
[49:27] Speaker 1: of ten weeks into, it people, GO i know WHAT
[49:29] Speaker 1: i can tell now why that marriage was never going to.
[49:31] Speaker 2: Work i'm, like well see. Hindsight, Yeah SO i always
[49:34] Speaker 2: take it back into. Them it's not really ever about the.
[49:37] Speaker 2: Relationship it's who are you in this? Relationship who did
[49:40] Speaker 2: you bring to this? Union who did you want to
[49:44] Speaker 2: become in this? Union and where did you think you
[49:46] Speaker 2: were starting to become that? Person and you didn't even
[49:48] Speaker 2: have a launch. Pad it's always about the. Insight and
[49:51] Speaker 2: then some people are in that relationship for so long
[49:55] Speaker 2: they don't even know who they are outside of that.
[49:58] Speaker 1: RELATIONSHIP i have seen that and some friends. TOO i
[50:01] Speaker 1: have a client that stayed in a relationship she admitted
[50:03] Speaker 1: for thirty years and she just, said you, know it
[50:07] Speaker 1: was easier to tolerate WHAT i. Knew and you, know
[50:09] Speaker 1: a lot of people are more comfortable in what they,
[50:11] Speaker 1: know even if it's not what they. Want sometimes they're
[50:15] Speaker 1: more comfortable staying and what they know than taking the
[50:18] Speaker 1: challenge and the leap into the. Unknown and then the
[50:21] Speaker 1: work becomes but what if there's the thing the what?
[50:24] Speaker 1: If what if the unknown holds your? Blessing you're preventing
[50:33] Speaker 1: your blessing because you're staying in what's. Comfortable what's comfortable
[50:37] Speaker 1: is not your. Place it's not where you're gonna, thrive
[50:40] Speaker 1: it's not where you're gonna. Shine so what about if
[50:43] Speaker 1: we step into the unknown and see if that's where
[50:48] Speaker 1: the blessing is and it doesn't take long because somebody like.
[50:51] Speaker 1: That there's so much unknown that can be. Small you.
[50:54] Speaker 1: Know it could be go for a walk in the.
[50:56] Speaker 1: Park it could, be you, know go take a dance
[50:57] Speaker 1: class by. Yourself it could be go sit at the
[50:59] Speaker 1: bar by yourself and start up. Conversation it could be
[51:02] Speaker 1: small things that help people discover who they are that
[51:06] Speaker 1: they blocked for so. Long, well that's. Good do a
[51:10] Speaker 1: lot of people come to you in that, moment in that,
[51:12] Speaker 1: time you, know, honestly some people come to me for
[51:15] Speaker 1: other reasons and then we uncover it's the real, issue got.
[51:18] Speaker 1: It some people come to, Me, OH i want to
[51:20] Speaker 1: lose ten, pounds And i'm, going, okay, well how'd you
[51:22] Speaker 1: gain the weight my? Marriage well what about your? Marriage?
[51:24] Speaker 1: Well he and she AND i was, like, okay, wait,
[51:26] Speaker 1: minua wait a, minute wait, minute before we lose the,
[51:28] Speaker 1: weight let's talk about the relationship, problem because that's where
[51:31] Speaker 1: the weight's coming. From And i'll, say, sometimes, oh sometimes
[51:34] Speaker 1: the weight gain is not just from. Food it can
[51:36] Speaker 1: be bad. Trauma it can be bad situations that you're.
[51:39] Speaker 1: CARRYING whoa, Right, Yeah SO i mean sometimes it's, like you,
[51:44] Speaker 1: know we get to the other, issue but they'll come
[51:46] Speaker 1: to me for something completely. Different, yeah and then you
[51:48] Speaker 1: get and then we, uncover you.
[51:50] Speaker 2: Uncover, yeah let's talk about a good life, change like
[51:55] Speaker 2: people actually coming to. Union. YEAH i guess the question
[51:58] Speaker 2: you kind of already answered is like when does that?
[52:01] Speaker 2: Work but it's one thing to, say what's on the
[52:04] Speaker 2: other side of this homight be better for, You but
[52:05] Speaker 2: what about somebody who's actually maybe found, it maybe scared of,
[52:09] Speaker 2: it maybe don't know how to be in the type
[52:12] Speaker 2: of show? Union you know WHAT i? Mean, YEAH i
[52:14] Speaker 2: how do you navigate? THAT i kind of feel Like
[52:16] Speaker 2: i'm that right.
[52:17] Speaker 1: Now what do you? Mean i'm in that position WHERE
[52:19] Speaker 1: i found someone who checks a lot of the, boxes
[52:25] Speaker 1: and so now WHAT i have to learn is how
[52:27] Speaker 1: DO i navigate so many boxes that get? Checked it's not,
[52:30] Speaker 1: perfect But i've gotten you, Know i'm so used to
[52:33] Speaker 1: settling for two boxes checked or three boxes. Checked NOW
[52:36] Speaker 1: i got eight out of ten to boxes. Checked, ooh
[52:39] Speaker 1: that's some different, shit, Right like what DO i do now?
[52:42] Speaker 1: That there's so much that's? Right? Right so even, that
[52:45] Speaker 1: and SO i, CONFESSED i was, like you, KNOW i
[52:46] Speaker 1: don't know how to navigate, this and so we're learning
[52:50] Speaker 1: together what that looks. Like so using my real life,
[52:53] Speaker 1: Experience i'll say to, them it's a, process first of,
[52:56] Speaker 1: all and you have to go back to relationship. School
[53:01] Speaker 1: you have to go back to self. SCHOOL i call
[53:03] Speaker 1: that a. Lot there's things you're gonna learn about yourself
[53:05] Speaker 1: that you don't know. Yet and this union may have
[53:07] Speaker 1: been brought to your life to be your school because
[53:10] Speaker 1: you may not do it for somebody you don't, love
[53:12] Speaker 1: but because you're now in love with this. Person you
[53:14] Speaker 1: want to build a future with this. Person there's places
[53:17] Speaker 1: you're going to go you may never go with someone.
[53:18] Speaker 1: Else and so let's see what that looks. Like you
[53:22] Speaker 1: just made me have at.
[53:22] Speaker 2: THOUGHT i had this conversation with a girlfriend the other
[53:24] Speaker 2: day and she was saying she's been with this person
[53:27] Speaker 2: for a long time and she's feeling till the point
[53:30] Speaker 2: she's gonna have to like either get married or let it,
[53:34] Speaker 2: go and love's the person not sure in. Love some
[53:40] Speaker 2: people are in just a relationship that doesn't rock any.
[53:42] Speaker 2: Boat they're just kind of. There they're just kind of.
[53:44] Speaker 2: There there's no, fireworks but there's no, problems and then
[53:47] Speaker 2: they just coast.
[53:48] Speaker 1: There my advice was.
[53:51] Speaker 2: You should go to a therapist and you should start
[53:54] Speaker 2: your questions WITH i need, clarity, yeah and then ask
[53:57] Speaker 2: all the have them ask you all the questions so
[54:01] Speaker 2: that you know what the answer is because there is an.
[54:03] Speaker 1: ANSWER i always believe there is an. Answer answer is an.
[54:06] Speaker 1: Answer he's an. Answer AND i mean something you, Said
[54:09] Speaker 1: i'm gonna. SAY i think we all deserve. Fireworks they're
[54:13] Speaker 1: going to be. DIFFERENT i, mean you know some People
[54:16] Speaker 1: fourth Of july and just that you at the parties and.
[54:18] Speaker 1: Stuff you, know some people like the, designs some people
[54:21] Speaker 1: like the ones that are. Allowed some people like. This you. Know,
[54:24] Speaker 1: yeah BUT i think we all deserve the ooh feeling of.
[54:28] Speaker 1: Fireworks but you have to know what brings you the, fireworks,
[54:33] Speaker 1: right because you can get into the relationship.
[54:35] Speaker 2: Because you might throw somebody away because they don't give you,
[54:37] Speaker 2: fireworks but you actually might be the person who is
[54:40] Speaker 2: like extra flamable clothing on flame resistant.
[54:45] Speaker 1: Clothing, yeah you might be the. Problem it's, like you,
[54:47] Speaker 1: know investigate self because a lot of times we find
[54:52] Speaker 1: ourselves really settling for a lot and we don't realize
[54:57] Speaker 1: that we really are, worthy we're worthy, of we, want
[55:00] Speaker 1: we're worthy, of you, know having a life filled with
[55:05] Speaker 1: joy and happiness and. Peace but we just are not
[55:09] Speaker 1: necessarily willing to do the work on ourselves. First, yeah
[55:12] Speaker 1: and then within the, relationship whatever that relationship. Is you,
[55:16] Speaker 1: know we're not just not willing to do the work
[55:17] Speaker 1: to actually find that, joy peace and. Happiness BUT i
[55:21] Speaker 1: feel like the first step is you got to believe
[55:22] Speaker 1: that you're. Worthy you have, to and so many of us.
[55:25] Speaker 1: Don't why? Why, yeah it could be you, know. Upbringing
[55:30] Speaker 1: it could be relationships that that people witness coming. Up
[55:35] Speaker 1: you know a lot of people are argumentative and problematic
[55:38] Speaker 1: because that's the that's the mother father relationship that they
[55:41] Speaker 1: were raised. In you, know a lot of domestic violence
[55:43] Speaker 1: happens that. Way when you're raised around or within a
[55:46] Speaker 1: domestic violent, family you don't know anything, different and so
[55:50] Speaker 1: love becomes that black eye or that GRAB i, know
[55:54] Speaker 1: you know That, god it sounds foreign to, us but it's,
[55:56] Speaker 1: true and so it can come from a lot of different.
[55:59] Speaker 1: Places and even, that it's, like you, know whatever the
[56:03] Speaker 1: agreement has, BEEN i don't care how long it's been
[56:06] Speaker 1: in your. LIFE i just believe that if you believe
[56:10] Speaker 1: that work keeps coming up for, us if you believe
[56:12] Speaker 1: strongly that you can, shift then the shift is. Possible
[56:17] Speaker 1: but you've got to be willing to do that, work
[56:19] Speaker 1: to let go of what's old and create the new
[56:22] Speaker 1: agreement to. Shift and so that's called, work, right that's self.
[56:27] Speaker 1: Work it's it's looking within self to, say, hey you know,
[56:30] Speaker 1: WHAT i BELIEVE i can have. MORE i want. More
[56:33] Speaker 1: it's going to take a lot of me releasing the,
[56:35] Speaker 1: old the old, agreements letting go of, them and trying
[56:38] Speaker 1: to walk and be part of new. Agreements BUT i
[56:42] Speaker 1: Believe i'm. WORTHY i BELIEVE i can have, it And
[56:45] Speaker 1: i'm not going to stop TILL i get. It that's
[56:47] Speaker 1: what it, takes that's what it.
[56:49] Speaker 2: Takes you believe you are, Right, oh for, sure you
[56:53] Speaker 2: should believe you're the guy with the eight.
[56:55] Speaker 1: Boxes, OH i believe. IT i believe. IT i believe.
[57:01] Speaker 1: It i'm just, like that's pretty good THAT i was
[57:03] Speaker 1: impressed when you said there was a? Box so AM?
[57:05] Speaker 1: I so AM? I you might have to get rid
[57:08] Speaker 1: of the hiking. Guy i'm just you, know and they're
[57:10] Speaker 1: falling off, there falling.
[57:13] Speaker 2: Off you might have to clean house a little. BIT
[57:15] Speaker 2: i gotta tell, You CAN i tell you something about?
[57:16] Speaker 2: It he doesn't ask about the other.
[57:18] Speaker 1: Ones he. Doesn't he doesn't talk about the other.
[57:21] Speaker 2: Ones anybody knows about the other, ones, yeah, yeah, yeah
[57:24] Speaker 2: but he doesn't bring it up because he's busy working
[57:28] Speaker 2: on the boxes that he wants to.
[57:30] Speaker 1: Check AND i think that's. Amazing, yeah SOMETIMES i want
[57:33] Speaker 1: to volunteer and. Go, so you, know the movie GUY
[57:35] Speaker 1: i dropped him and then and then in, science, like
[57:39] Speaker 1: why are you telling? Her he's not, asking BUT i
[57:41] Speaker 1: think he kind of knows. Already he kind of knows
[57:43] Speaker 1: That i'm getting more and more into. Him he just
[57:47] Speaker 1: checks all these. Boxes that's. Amazing. YEAH i love that for. You,
[57:51] Speaker 1: YEAH i love it for me. Too it would be
[57:53] Speaker 1: that would be one hundred and eight by the time
[57:55] Speaker 1: it worked.
[57:55] Speaker 2: Out BUT i, mean you, know don't, stop don't say,
[57:57] Speaker 2: that don't say.
[57:58] Speaker 1: That is that a you? Want what's the? Something? Like
[58:02] Speaker 1: do you want to be coupled. MARRIED i don't. KNOW
[58:07] Speaker 1: i don't know that matters to a.
[58:09] Speaker 2: Women that matters to some women a, lot and some
[58:11] Speaker 2: women are, Like, OKAY i want the.
[58:15] Speaker 1: PARTNERSHIP i am attracted to the. CONNECTION i don't necessarily
[58:21] Speaker 1: need the traditional titles for. It got? IT i mean,
[58:24] Speaker 1: again the eight. Boxes you, know he's a great, traveler, athletic,
[58:29] Speaker 1: spiritual nutritionally. Guided. Uh the other, boxes you, know loves and, appreciate, family, funny.
[58:39] Speaker 1: EMOTIONAL i mean there's a lot of things that that the.
[58:42] Speaker 1: BOXES i, KNOW i don't even know my. BOXES i
[58:44] Speaker 1: just realized we got we gotta gotta. Do is that?
[58:48] Speaker 1: Crazy it is. Crazy you gotta know your boxes because
[58:51] Speaker 1: you don't get them. Checked does everybody know their?
[58:53] Speaker 2: Boxes you gotta know your. Boxes you got your? Box of,
[58:58] Speaker 2: course most of you got are your. Boxes everybody knows it. Boxes,
[59:02] Speaker 2: yeah my sense of humor is a. BOX i have
[59:04] Speaker 2: a kind of a dry sense of, Humor so you
[59:06] Speaker 2: know that's a. Box you've got to get my sense of.
[59:08] Speaker 2: HUMOR i, mean, like, yeah you gotta be.
[59:11] Speaker 1: Able why DON'T i have a? Box how do you
[59:14] Speaker 1: my emotional my emotional? Thing, like you, KNOW i can
[59:16] Speaker 1: pick up a. Car BUT i can also start crying
[59:18] Speaker 1: ten minutes after. That so it's, like you, know how
[59:22] Speaker 1: how do you navigate? That you, Know i'm not going
[59:23] Speaker 1: to always be you know that just always that one. Lane, Like,
[59:28] Speaker 1: okay we met sitting at a. Bar see that's WHY
[59:29] Speaker 1: i tell somebody goes sit at a bar by. Yourself
[59:31] Speaker 1: we met sitting at a bar and we just kind
[59:33] Speaker 1: of started you, Know, uh it was a. Banter he, said, so,
[59:37] Speaker 1: UH i had it on like some workout, clothes and he,
[59:39] Speaker 1: said so are those biceps hanging out like for? Somebody
[59:43] Speaker 1: or CAN i have the seat because they're kind of
[59:45] Speaker 1: in the, way and certainly See i'm already laughing, again
[59:48] Speaker 1: AND i started laughing and we just kind of started.
[59:51] Speaker 1: Talking and then as we, TALKED i THINK i had
[59:54] Speaker 1: like three bock atonics and he was, like so how
[59:56] Speaker 1: MANY i thought you were going to the? Gym how
[59:58] Speaker 1: many do you go to the gym on? Box or
[1:00:00] Speaker 1: what do you? Do and so he just kind of
[1:00:01] Speaker 1: had a sense of humor THAT i, liked and so you,
[1:00:05] Speaker 1: know it became a thing of me, saying so tell
[1:00:08] Speaker 1: me what Has god done to blow your mind? Today
[1:00:11] Speaker 1: And i've asked that question before and gods are, like, oh,
[1:00:15] Speaker 1: oh you, KNOW i got to think of. That oh,
[1:00:18] Speaker 1: boy and he was, like oh my, gosh how much
[1:00:20] Speaker 1: time do you? Have he's, like first of, all starting this.
[1:00:22] Speaker 1: Morning and he went through this list AND i was,
[1:00:24] Speaker 1: LIKE i love. YOU i was, like you, know cap.
[1:00:28] Speaker 1: RECORDS i was, LIKE i Think i'm in. Love what
[1:00:30] Speaker 1: closed white dress is gonna? Be what's? Shoe what's our?
[1:00:32] Speaker 1: LOCATION i WOULD i would street into that wedding in
[1:00:36] Speaker 1: the wedding. PARTY i was already in that. Space so
[1:00:39] Speaker 1: there's there's. QUESTIONS i asked that that's one of. Them
[1:00:42] Speaker 1: another question is you, know do you feel like? Friendship uh,
[1:00:48] Speaker 1: No i'll, say you, know who are your top three?
[1:00:50] Speaker 1: Friends AND i asked that to see if any of
[1:00:52] Speaker 1: them are? Women and what would that tell? You well
[1:00:56] Speaker 1: that he believes in friendship with, women and THEN i
[1:00:58] Speaker 1: can go into so are you guys dating or are
[1:00:59] Speaker 1: you just? Friends so he goes more into that and he,
[1:01:03] Speaker 1: said you, know he, said my friendships with, WOMEN i
[1:01:07] Speaker 1: haven't dated. Them AND i said why? Not and he, said,
[1:01:09] Speaker 1: well it started off thinking it was going to be,
[1:01:11] Speaker 1: that but THEN i saw that there was more more
[1:01:14] Speaker 1: purpose in us being. Friends and he, said and too.
[1:01:16] Speaker 1: Me you, KNOW i feel like as a, man there
[1:01:19] Speaker 1: has to be a spiritual discipline that understands just because
[1:01:23] Speaker 1: she's beautiful and she's smart doesn't mean, that you, know
[1:01:26] Speaker 1: we have to lay. Down it could mean That god's
[1:01:28] Speaker 1: sending her to my life for another. Reason AND i was, like,
[1:01:33] Speaker 1: Okay so of, course you, know these were some of the.
[1:01:36] Speaker 1: Questions this is at the, bar you're having these deals first, State,
[1:01:41] Speaker 1: Yeah and he was asking me questions like, that and
[1:01:44] Speaker 1: so we hadn't even exchanged. Numbers we had just kind
[1:01:46] Speaker 1: of met having that kind of. Conversation and then he,
[1:01:48] Speaker 1: said so we should stay in, touch don't you? Think
[1:01:50] Speaker 1: AND i said give me your. NUMBER i didn't give him.
[1:01:52] Speaker 1: MIND i said give me your, number and you, know
[1:01:55] Speaker 1: maybe i'll call. You and he, said, okay that's. Cool
[1:01:58] Speaker 1: and you called that. NIGHT i was like, hey he
[1:02:02] Speaker 1: was like. Oh he was like who is?
[1:02:04] Speaker 2: This?
[1:02:04] Speaker 1: Did he started playing is IT'S? Aj he's LIKE aj?
[1:02:07] Speaker 1: Who so of course he started, Laughing oh my, Gosh,
[1:02:10] Speaker 1: yeah this is. Cute this is. Cute, okay so you
[1:02:14] Speaker 1: KNOW i was.
[1:02:15] Speaker 2: Cute so, Yeah so it's it's there's questions that lead
[1:02:22] Speaker 2: you to the, boxes but you got to know your
[1:02:24] Speaker 2: boxes to be able to ask the, question how did
[1:02:27] Speaker 2: and you, ALSO i would imagine for, you a box
[1:02:29] Speaker 2: is like they have to be okay because.
[1:02:32] Speaker 1: Your line of that's just not. Work it's just how
[1:02:35] Speaker 1: you live your. Life it's, like you, know they have
[1:02:39] Speaker 1: to be able to flow with, that like right they.
[1:02:41] Speaker 2: Have he can't he couldn't be intimidated by, it or
[1:02:45] Speaker 2: it's like.
[1:02:45] Speaker 1: That that's the other. Thing that's one of the. Boxes
[1:02:48] Speaker 1: he likes to ask the. Questions he is just like.
[1:02:51] Speaker 1: Me he's specific about what kind of woman is he talking?
[1:02:54] Speaker 1: To AND i love that Because i'm, like, yeah because
[1:02:57] Speaker 1: what kind of man AM i talking? To and so
[1:03:00] Speaker 1: it's not a it's not a. Battle it's a connection
[1:03:04] Speaker 1: in us learning each other and and learning how it.
[1:03:07] Speaker 1: Works this is like your man, Agent, yes are you?
[1:03:11] Speaker 1: Kidding DO i have a? MAN i think you have a?
[1:03:13] Speaker 1: MAN i think your little rotation has to stop. Today,
[1:03:18] Speaker 1: well you, know let's let's see this is you, know,
[1:03:22] Speaker 1: yeah let's see we we go on walks and and
[1:03:26] Speaker 1: and and talk about the end of the. DAY i,
[1:03:28] Speaker 1: mean it's really really nice even that that was a
[1:03:30] Speaker 1: box for. Me you gotta you gotta want to, walk
[1:03:32] Speaker 1: walk on the. Beach when we go to someplace in a
[1:03:34] Speaker 1: new country or a new, city let's throw our bags,
[1:03:37] Speaker 1: down let's go walk. Explore that's a box for. Me
[1:03:39] Speaker 1: i'm a. Walker i'm an, athlete LIKE i want to get,
[1:03:41] Speaker 1: AROUND i want to get. Out AND i never even said.
[1:03:43] Speaker 1: Anything and our second, date we went out to dinner
[1:03:46] Speaker 1: and he was, like.
[1:03:46] Speaker 2: You want to go, well you want to? Walk AND
[1:03:47] Speaker 2: i was, like who told? You and he was, like
[1:03:49] Speaker 2: told me? What AND i was, like do you KNOW
[1:03:51] Speaker 2: i like to? Walk he was like, no BUT i
[1:03:52] Speaker 2: like to. Walk he's, like let's, walk and he grabbed
[1:03:55] Speaker 2: my hand and we started. Walking oh my.
[1:03:56] Speaker 1: God, right you love, him so you love. It we'll
[1:04:04] Speaker 1: see walk my little walking. Buddy that's so.
[1:04:07] Speaker 2: CUTE i, mean there's so many life things that it
[1:04:10] Speaker 2: would take us a, whole like seven episodes to go
[1:04:12] Speaker 2: through all of.
[1:04:12] Speaker 1: These but well we'll just have to come back and Do,
[1:04:14] Speaker 1: yeah for. Sure but but, AGAIN i like this box,
[1:04:17] Speaker 1: thing especially since you haven't done it and never in
[1:04:20] Speaker 1: my life done. It we'll, see we have to. Start
[1:04:21] Speaker 1: that's a. Thing check in the. Box what are your
[1:04:24] Speaker 1: boxes and make sure you get them. CHECKED i don't
[1:04:25] Speaker 1: Think i've had. BOXES i, THINK i, KNOW i may.
[1:04:29] Speaker 2: Two boxes that you can't they need to be, checked
[1:04:34] Speaker 2: that have to be checked for.
[1:04:35] Speaker 1: You, yeah you're asking me two boxes that have to
[1:04:38] Speaker 1: be checked for you to say. This this could be.
[1:04:40] Speaker 1: Cool he has to have a relationship With. God how
[1:04:44] Speaker 1: do you find that? Out? Conversation? Right AND i was
[1:04:48] Speaker 1: not just conversation because people say, that. RIGHT i just
[1:04:53] Speaker 1: kind of want to see. It he, asked can you
[1:04:55] Speaker 1: pray with? Me, hmm that's. GOOD i don't know WHAT
[1:04:58] Speaker 1: i was. DOING i, WAS i WAS i was talking
[1:05:00] Speaker 1: to him about something AND i, said you know, WHAT
[1:05:02] Speaker 1: i really have to make some. Decisions and he, said
[1:05:03] Speaker 1: you know, what can we can we pray about? It
[1:05:06] Speaker 1: AND i was, like is it Bad god That i'm
[1:05:08] Speaker 1: kind of turned on right now that he wants to
[1:05:10] Speaker 1: PRESS i was, like what Did god? Say what do
[1:05:13] Speaker 1: he downloaded? YOU i, said pray, first get to that miss,
[1:05:16] Speaker 1: missy missy hot. Pants we'll get to. That get the prayer,
[1:05:20] Speaker 1: done because this is this is a box that's been
[1:05:22] Speaker 1: checked in a long. Time So god was, like see
[1:05:24] Speaker 1: here we, go get the get the prayer box. Checked
[1:05:27] Speaker 1: that was a. Box you know what this?
[1:05:29] Speaker 2: Is you get back, Sorry, well, oh so he has that,
[1:05:33] Speaker 2: relationship got a real, one AND i can And i'm
[1:05:36] Speaker 2: good at reading people and, sensing SO i would have
[1:05:37] Speaker 2: to know. That he also has to be curious about.
[1:05:43] Speaker 2: LIFE i want, to like you, say, TRAVEL i love to.
[1:05:45] Speaker 2: Golf it would be a PLUS a, BOX a golf
[1:05:48] Speaker 2: box would be like that might That trump's a couple
[1:05:51] Speaker 2: of boxes something?
[1:05:53] Speaker 1: Else if he was like a. GOLFER i really liked
[1:05:56] Speaker 1: it and we could do.
[1:05:56] Speaker 2: THAT i met a woman yesterday who also said she,
[1:05:58] Speaker 2: golfed and she, said oh my, GOD i found it
[1:06:00] Speaker 2: a couple of years ago to golf with my. Husband she,
[1:06:02] Speaker 2: goes we could have we could be having an argument
[1:06:03] Speaker 2: and then after that he'd be, like do you want
[1:06:05] Speaker 2: to go like play.
[1:06:06] Speaker 1: Around and she's, like, YES i.
[1:06:07] Speaker 2: Do and they find that thing AND i, thought, oh
[1:06:09] Speaker 2: that's so, Cute LIKE i think you KNOW i, Would
[1:06:12] Speaker 2: and that's a nice little box to be able to.
[1:06:14] Speaker 2: Check but that's not a who you are. Box that's
[1:06:17] Speaker 2: that's a. Thing it kind of is, though maybe because
[1:06:20] Speaker 2: it's a lifestyle bo mind a lifestyle. Box, listen there's
[1:06:23] Speaker 2: a mine that plays. Golf just, look there's a mine
[1:06:25] Speaker 2: that plays.
[1:06:25] Speaker 1: Chess, yeah, right there's a mine that plays, golf there's
[1:06:28] Speaker 1: an intellect that plays.
[1:06:29] Speaker 2: Golf golf is a whole. Lifestyle yeah, Right AND i
[1:06:34] Speaker 2: think the big. Boxes do you know who you?
[1:06:38] Speaker 1: Are that's a, big huge. Box you got to break
[1:06:41] Speaker 1: that one. Down it's a huge. Box you got to
[1:06:43] Speaker 1: break it. Down but you have to have at least
[1:06:45] Speaker 1: made an attempt what to know who you. Are but
[1:06:49] Speaker 1: that means you know the.
[1:06:51] Speaker 2: Things where you know your, weaknesses you know where you
[1:06:54] Speaker 2: need to, work you.
[1:06:56] Speaker 1: Have you know mistakes you. Made, yes you've. Yourself that's the.
[1:07:00] Speaker 1: Block self. Aware it's self, aware so self, aware it's self.
[1:07:03] Speaker 1: Aware and these are the questions you ask to see
[1:07:06] Speaker 1: where he is within that self. Awareness, yeah what's he working? On?
[1:07:10] Speaker 1: What AND i MEAN i asked those kind of questions you. Do,
[1:07:12] Speaker 1: Yeah Like i'll, say, like what did you learn about
[1:07:14] Speaker 1: yourself this week that you don't like get the wrong? Person,
[1:07:17] Speaker 1: boy this could turn the wrong person. Off, yeah but
[1:07:21] Speaker 1: you get rid of that, quick, Right, yeah get out
[1:07:23] Speaker 1: of here. Exactly so good and he, laughed he, laughs
[1:07:26] Speaker 1: that's so. Good And i'll, say you know WHAT i
[1:07:28] Speaker 1: have SOMETHIE i want to ask, you and he'll start
[1:07:29] Speaker 1: Laughing he'll, Go, okay let me get, ready let me get.
[1:07:32] Speaker 1: READY A. J johnson's gonna ask, me let me get,
[1:07:33] Speaker 1: ready and he just. LAUGHS i Had Savannah james And abral,
[1:07:36] Speaker 1: McDaniel you know they have the.
[1:07:37] Speaker 2: PODCAST i had them on the show and we had
[1:07:39] Speaker 2: this conversation about friendships and. Girlfriends and this person called
[1:07:43] Speaker 2: in and asked them if you saw your man, cheating
[1:07:47] Speaker 2: if if you saw your friend's man out with another,
[1:07:50] Speaker 2: woman do you tell your?
[1:07:52] Speaker 1: Friend and you, know everyone's, like, oh of COURSE i.
[1:07:56] Speaker 1: Would i'm going up to the Table i'm. Doing savannah was,
[1:07:58] Speaker 1: like you, KNOW i JUST i don't. Know you, KNOW
[1:08:02] Speaker 1: i might, say he, Look i'll tell, her but you,
[1:08:04] Speaker 1: Know i'll tell her.
[1:08:05] Speaker 2: Later and then it prought up a conversation That i've
[1:08:07] Speaker 2: had with different friends With it's, like sometimes you mind
[1:08:09] Speaker 2: your business because you don't know what's. Happening, also your
[1:08:12] Speaker 2: friend has chosen that. Person your friend knows them a
[1:08:15] Speaker 2: lot of the, times and they've made that choice to
[1:08:18] Speaker 2: be with that. Person so DO i now go and
[1:08:20] Speaker 2: serve myself and become a third? Party and you, know
[1:08:23] Speaker 2: and so for somebody like, YOU i, wonder because you
[1:08:26] Speaker 2: see truth in, people if sometimes you hold back or
[1:08:30] Speaker 2: sometimes you don't feel comfortable or safe to do you
[1:08:34] Speaker 2: understand When i'm asking, you like having that kind of
[1:08:37] Speaker 2: thing when you.
[1:08:37] Speaker 1: See, People, YEAH i see. You, yeah you know. What
[1:08:40] Speaker 1: but Maybe i'm not gonna say, nothing or MAYBE i.
[1:08:42] Speaker 1: WILL i make sure, well no matter who it, is,
[1:08:46] Speaker 1: whoever whoever's out with the, PERSON i make sure they see.
[1:08:50] Speaker 1: Me i'll go over kind of Like. April i'll go
[1:08:52] Speaker 1: over say, hi you know, you introduce myself to whoever
[1:08:55] Speaker 1: the person is and say you, know it's good to see,
[1:08:58] Speaker 1: you and Then i'm, done and that at some Point
[1:09:00] Speaker 1: i'm going to, say so what are we doing with? This?
[1:09:02] Speaker 1: Like is this? Friendship is? This? Like what's happening? Here
[1:09:05] Speaker 1: BECAUSE i don't have to say, anything but don't make
[1:09:08] Speaker 1: me say, something you know WHAT i? Mean you handle
[1:09:11] Speaker 1: that so now you KNOW i know whatever it. Is
[1:09:14] Speaker 1: but but you don't go to the Friend no, no
[1:09:16] Speaker 1: no because in, no because AGAIN i don't want to
[1:09:19] Speaker 1: start something that That mary being in existent. INTERESTING i,
[1:09:23] Speaker 1: mean IF i know more, details if she's come to
[1:09:25] Speaker 1: me and she SAID i think my my dude is,
[1:09:28] Speaker 1: CHEATING i CAN'T i can't figure it. Out he's coming
[1:09:31] Speaker 1: in late he's, this that and the, other and THEN
[1:09:32] Speaker 1: i see. THAT i still go to him and, say,
[1:09:36] Speaker 1: so you, know your girl has said things to me
[1:09:38] Speaker 1: that makes me think she kind of feels something's not,
[1:09:41] Speaker 1: right SO i think you need to talk with. HER
[1:09:43] Speaker 1: i still would go to, him really and make it
[1:09:45] Speaker 1: a them, thing And i'll, say if you want me,
[1:09:47] Speaker 1: THERE i can help women get fired up about this.
[1:09:50] Speaker 2: CONVERSATION i don't know why this is such a strong
[1:09:52] Speaker 2: feeling about how as a friend you should handle that
[1:09:54] Speaker 2: so interesting to. Me but even aside from the man cheating,
[1:09:58] Speaker 2: scenario just the idea like giving people, advice like you
[1:10:02] Speaker 2: see something and somebody from, afar even you walk in a,
[1:10:05] Speaker 2: room you're like man BECAUSE i imagine you SEE i
[1:10:08] Speaker 2: see a, lot, RIGHT i see a, Lot that's What i'm, Saying,
[1:10:13] Speaker 2: YES i see a. Lot do you sometimes have to
[1:10:15] Speaker 2: figure out SHOULD i say?
[1:10:17] Speaker 1: Something SHOULD i? NOT i only say something If i'm
[1:10:22] Speaker 1: asked and IF i feel like it's going to. Help
[1:10:26] Speaker 1: IF i know it's going to, HELP i don't say
[1:10:29] Speaker 1: anything If i'm not sure where it could. Go LIKE i,
[1:10:32] Speaker 1: said if somebody's having a hard time in their relationship
[1:10:35] Speaker 1: and you, know and they're feeling like something's off AND
[1:10:38] Speaker 1: i can't put their hand on, it and THEN i
[1:10:40] Speaker 1: see the. Off THEN i still go to the person
[1:10:43] Speaker 1: first and say this has to be handled because he
[1:10:46] Speaker 1: or she is feeling it and they're, right and you
[1:10:49] Speaker 1: know you need to do something about That BEFORE i do,
[1:10:52] Speaker 1: SO i USUALLY i usually, say who's going to tell?
[1:10:54] Speaker 1: Her or who's going to tell? Her near? You ooof
[1:10:58] Speaker 1: so they hate you for you? KNOW i, Mean i'm
[1:11:02] Speaker 1: big on no. Cheating oh that's a whole nother. EPISODE a?
[1:11:06] Speaker 1: Box is that a? Box?
[1:11:07] Speaker 2: Oh?
[1:11:07] Speaker 1: Yeah what is? That what is that? Box is? It that?
[1:11:10] Speaker 1: Box is no? Cheating? Like tell? ME i, mean, Listen
[1:11:13] Speaker 1: i'm telling. You i've got other Guys i'm. Seeing you
[1:11:16] Speaker 1: can tell me and you know What i'm telling you
[1:11:18] Speaker 1: when the guys disappear it so there's no reason to.
[1:11:20] Speaker 1: Cheat there's no reason to. Cheat to, me a cheater
[1:11:23] Speaker 1: is a. Coward it's you, know if you can't tell
[1:11:26] Speaker 1: me that you Know i'm no longer the. One if
[1:11:29] Speaker 1: you can't tell me that you have interest in other,
[1:11:31] Speaker 1: people we can't what are we? Doing life to me
[1:11:35] Speaker 1: is too? Short LIKE i want to be with someone
[1:11:36] Speaker 1: AND i want to spend time with someone that wants
[1:11:38] Speaker 1: to have fun in the. Truth and if the truth
[1:11:40] Speaker 1: Is i'm not it And i'm not the only. ONE
[1:11:42] Speaker 1: i want to know, that so ONE i can. BE
[1:11:45] Speaker 1: i can choose DO i want to stay WHERE i
[1:11:47] Speaker 1: am with you or DO i want to go and
[1:11:49] Speaker 1: have some more fun with someone. Else you at least
[1:11:51] Speaker 1: are in. Truth at least we're in. Truth. Yeah, Yeah
[1:11:54] Speaker 1: and that's another reason WHY i don't need the. TITLES
[1:11:57] Speaker 1: i don't need the. GIRLFRIEND i don't need the. FIANCE
[1:11:59] Speaker 1: i don't need to be. Married but if we are
[1:12:01] Speaker 1: living our alignments and our agreements and we're committed to,
[1:12:06] Speaker 1: that then, again if my life is committed to The
[1:12:09] Speaker 1: god THAT i, serve then my partner's going to reap
[1:12:12] Speaker 1: the benefit of my, commitment my spiritual. Commitment if the
[1:12:17] Speaker 1: guy is living a spiritual commitment that he wants to
[1:12:20] Speaker 1: to to impress and and and make sure that he's
[1:12:25] Speaker 1: Getting god's, Validation i'm going to reap the benefits of.
[1:12:28] Speaker 1: That so that's WHAT i, Need that's WHAT i. WANT
[1:12:31] Speaker 1: i don't need it. Titled yeah so? Good, yeah, yeah
[1:12:34] Speaker 1: it's so. Good, YEAH i don't need the. TITLE i
[1:12:36] Speaker 1: don't need. It i'm not gonna say no to. It
[1:12:39] Speaker 1: it seems so.
[1:12:40] Speaker 2: EASY i don't know why it's so hard for, People
[1:12:41] Speaker 2: like it's easy, actually like for the guys out there who.
[1:12:45] Speaker 1: Don't just say, it just be.
[1:12:47] Speaker 2: Honest, right just be, Truthful, like, yeah it's an easier
[1:12:50] Speaker 2: way to it's an easier way to live.
[1:12:52] Speaker 1: Life BUT i have to tell you, also you, Know
[1:12:54] Speaker 1: i've been living this way for a long. Time so
[1:12:56] Speaker 1: even for men that approach, me they kind of now
[1:12:58] Speaker 1: KNOW i DON'T i don't meet very many. STRANGERS i,
[1:13:02] Speaker 1: mean some of finds If i'm out of the, country,
[1:13:03] Speaker 1: maybe BUT i try to make sure that they get
[1:13:05] Speaker 1: to know WHO i am so that they understand from
[1:13:07] Speaker 1: the gate this is kind of WHERE i. Live and
[1:13:10] Speaker 1: so you, know there's no, reason LIKE i don't believe in,
[1:13:12] Speaker 1: cheating there's no reason for. That if you AND i
[1:13:15] Speaker 1: hit it, off then. Awesome you, know maybe it's, friends
[1:13:18] Speaker 1: maybe it's. Not you, KNOW i don't jump into sex
[1:13:21] Speaker 1: fast BECAUSE i want to know who you are and
[1:13:23] Speaker 1: how you, are and you, know And i'm the prize,
[1:13:25] Speaker 1: anyway so you know you're going to earn. That, yeah
[1:13:28] Speaker 1: you know WHAT i. Mean, so but a lot of,
[1:13:30] Speaker 1: women you, know there's a lot of different things they're going.
[1:13:32] Speaker 1: Through they jump into sexually, fast and now they try
[1:13:34] Speaker 1: to backtrack to see who this guy, is and it's, like,
[1:13:36] Speaker 1: okay you already passed that, boot you know WHAT i.
[1:13:39] Speaker 1: Mean so it's you, know it's a lot of different
[1:13:42] Speaker 1: way these people. Handed i'm not saying It's i'm not judging.
[1:13:44] Speaker 1: It i'm just saying it's hard to back off of.
[1:13:46] Speaker 1: That you're now in a sexual, relationship so it's hard
[1:13:49] Speaker 1: to back off of that to find out what his
[1:13:50] Speaker 1: favorite color. Is, right we've passed that. Boot, YEAH i
[1:13:57] Speaker 1: will kind of pass. THAT i don't think he cares
[1:13:58] Speaker 1: neither to you at this point are so. FUNNY i
[1:14:01] Speaker 1: have to say we can't.
[1:14:01] Speaker 2: Go i'm about to go TO irl questions and we
[1:14:03] Speaker 2: have a like a voice not for, you, okay but
[1:14:06] Speaker 2: we have to. Acknowledge the twenty fifth anniversary of Baby
[1:14:09] Speaker 2: boy twenty five years is. Crazy even we were. Shocked
[1:14:14] Speaker 2: we were. SHOCKED i went to dinner With vain to
[1:14:16] Speaker 2: celebrate and he was like. SHORT i was, like, yeah
[1:14:19] Speaker 2: you guys are still. Friends oh the, best the. Best
[1:14:23] Speaker 2: that dynamic was so. Classic why do you think that
[1:14:27] Speaker 2: that resonated with? People your role in that movie so
[1:14:31] Speaker 2: much my role of The he AND i both, Well
[1:14:35] Speaker 2: i'll say, this.
[1:14:38] Speaker 1: The ving AND, i The melvin And. JUANITA i believe
[1:14:42] Speaker 1: at that time we had not really seen black love for.
[1:14:45] Speaker 1: Real and you, Know john talked to us, about you,
[1:14:49] Speaker 1: know what was our intention in that, relationship And ving
[1:14:52] Speaker 1: AND i both said we wanted to make sure that
[1:14:54] Speaker 1: we displayed a level of black love that hadn't been seen,
[1:14:56] Speaker 1: before the freaky, parts the emotional, parts the you know
[1:15:00] Speaker 1: what happens when you really really decide you're feeling. Somebody
[1:15:04] Speaker 1: because of course we knew where the story. Goes i've
[1:15:07] Speaker 1: got to at some point say you have to leave the, House,
[1:15:09] Speaker 1: jody because you know you need to AND i need you.
[1:15:12] Speaker 1: To so it's got to be a relationship that pushes
[1:15:14] Speaker 1: me to even say. That so it's got to be
[1:15:16] Speaker 1: heavy and deep for. Me SO i also think For
[1:15:20] Speaker 1: vin AND i to decide, that you, know there's a
[1:15:22] Speaker 1: chemistry that happens in that kind of, love AND i
[1:15:25] Speaker 1: think we already had, chemistry but we already we also
[1:15:28] Speaker 1: decided what chemistry got got shown on. Camera the close,
[1:15:31] Speaker 1: ups the, kissing the eye to, eye the those knows
[1:15:34] Speaker 1: we made those kind of visual decisions that demonstrated the
[1:15:38] Speaker 1: chemistry and it worked right from my, CHARACTER i, knew
[1:15:43] Speaker 1: and this is interesting even for my, ACTING i knew
[1:15:45] Speaker 1: a house. PARTY i also knew With Baby boy THAT
[1:15:49] Speaker 1: i was taken on a responsibility for black women and
[1:15:55] Speaker 1: that you, know whether it was the house party girl
[1:15:59] Speaker 1: from high, school from around the way that was, popular
[1:16:02] Speaker 1: that had never necessarily been labeled the popular, one now
[1:16:06] Speaker 1: is her, chance the brownskin girl but maybe never been
[1:16:09] Speaker 1: labeled pretty. BEFORE i knew. That in the writing of the,
[1:16:12] Speaker 1: SCRIPT i knew THAT i was taken on the responsibility
[1:16:14] Speaker 1: to give other brown skin girls permission to be that.
[1:16:18] Speaker 1: Girl and SO i knew. THAT i knew that And Baby,
[1:16:22] Speaker 1: BOY i knew, that as a single woman raising a male,
[1:16:27] Speaker 1: child that there was certain permission that women around the
[1:16:30] Speaker 1: world would would get from me in this role to,
[1:16:33] Speaker 1: say you don't have to know it, all but as
[1:16:35] Speaker 1: long as you lead with, love you're not going to know.
[1:16:38] Speaker 1: Everything but make sure that every decision leads with. Love
[1:16:41] Speaker 1: and that's WHAT i try to.
[1:16:42] Speaker 2: Do and, also you gave yourself permission to like take
[1:16:47] Speaker 2: care of, yourself.
[1:16:48] Speaker 1: Which a lot of times we always.
[1:16:50] Speaker 2: See the mother in the movies like everything for her,
[1:16:53] Speaker 2: child and you, know she sacrifices her love or her
[1:16:58] Speaker 2: relationship for her baby. Boy and you were, like you
[1:17:02] Speaker 2: got to get out THE i love, you but you
[1:17:04] Speaker 2: got to get out the house because me and my
[1:17:05] Speaker 2: man are running around your.
[1:17:07] Speaker 1: NAKED i learned early that that there was responsibility in
[1:17:12] Speaker 1: the roles THAT i. CHOOSE i learned. EARLY i Mean
[1:17:15] Speaker 1: House party was the first one and it continued to.
[1:17:17] Speaker 1: Go SO i was blessed to work With Alfred, Woodard Cicily,
[1:17:21] Speaker 1: Tyson John amos early in my, career the great and,
[1:17:26] Speaker 1: differently but the same message they all, shared which was
[1:17:29] Speaker 1: don't go for being just in every. Film make sure
[1:17:32] Speaker 1: that you understand that there's a Message god's given you
[1:17:35] Speaker 1: to distribute in your. Work and SO i still live by.
[1:17:39] Speaker 1: That if there's not a message THAT i feel like
[1:17:41] Speaker 1: it's mine and mine to, give then it's not my.
[1:17:44] Speaker 2: Project so in that so in that one we talked
[1:17:47] Speaker 2: about Baby, boy that's what you felt you, yeah oh for.
[1:17:50] Speaker 1: Sure and to this DAY i need women around the World, London,
[1:17:54] Speaker 1: Australia africa and they'll, say you know you gave me,
[1:17:58] Speaker 1: permission you know you gave me. Permit to walk, away
[1:18:01] Speaker 1: or you gave me you, know Or i'm in that
[1:18:03] Speaker 1: situation right now when you're teaching me what is? It
[1:18:05] Speaker 1: mama got to have a life.
[1:18:06] Speaker 2: Too, yeah, YEAH i said that.
[1:18:11] Speaker 1: LINE i didn't even understand as much AS i do. Now,
[1:18:14] Speaker 1: crazy it's. Real it is. Real so people are telling me,
[1:18:17] Speaker 1: now people are, saying you, know NOW i understand more
[1:18:20] Speaker 1: Why i'm while you were in that. GARDEN i was a.
[1:18:22] Speaker 1: Kid then now twenty five years, Later i'm a Grown
[1:18:25] Speaker 1: i'm a grown ass, woman AND i get. IT i love.
[1:18:27] Speaker 1: That why are you in that?
[1:18:28] Speaker 2: Garden?
[1:18:29] Speaker 1: YEAH i love. IT i love. It that's.
[1:18:32] Speaker 2: Amazing you must be really proud OF i don't know
[1:18:35] Speaker 2: just your what you leave in terms of films and.
[1:18:39] Speaker 1: Roles i'm extremely. PROUD i kind am and it helps
[1:18:42] Speaker 1: me navigate what's, next you. Know i'm really, proud AND
[1:18:48] Speaker 1: i learn every, day twenty five years. Later the fact
[1:18:51] Speaker 1: that people are still talking about, it watching, it quoting,
[1:18:53] Speaker 1: it loving, it that's a. Blessing when we do, films
[1:18:56] Speaker 1: we don't know that's what's going to. Happen, yeah for.
[1:18:58] Speaker 1: Sure and the fact That i've been a part of
[1:18:59] Speaker 1: so several projects like. That it's just a. Blessing what
[1:19:02] Speaker 1: is next in? Acting, YEAH i, mean you, Know i've
[1:19:07] Speaker 1: got A i've got a Project i'm waiting to hear.
[1:19:09] Speaker 1: On but you, KNOW i feel like in the Projects i've,
[1:19:13] Speaker 1: done they are for sure following that that that that
[1:19:17] Speaker 1: lead of what's the what's the? MESSAGE i did uh
[1:19:21] Speaker 1: fighting to be me for for B E t about
[1:19:24] Speaker 1: a year, ago playing the mom of a trans and
[1:19:27] Speaker 1: so that was new for me and and accepting the trans.
[1:19:29] Speaker 1: World BUT i thought that was something that needed to be.
[1:19:32] Speaker 1: DONE i, PLAYED i did Two christmas movies and you,
[1:19:37] Speaker 1: KNOW i was the voice of reason. Surprise BUT i love,
[1:19:39] Speaker 1: that you, KNOW i love that my, my my life
[1:19:42] Speaker 1: is starting to show up in my, art WHICH i
[1:19:44] Speaker 1: think is. Great that's a. Compliment All i'm gonna say
[1:19:47] Speaker 1: in terms of what's next is, Uh i'm putting it
[1:19:50] Speaker 1: out there THAT i want to do more uh. TRAVEL
[1:19:54] Speaker 1: i want to do some foreign. Films LIKE i, SAID
[1:19:57] Speaker 1: i want to do the. Action but even in terms
[1:19:59] Speaker 1: of being the voice of, REASON i don't mind. THAT
[1:20:03] Speaker 1: i don't mind that somebody else can be the. NURSE
[1:20:06] Speaker 1: i want to be the girlfriend that speaks. UP i
[1:20:08] Speaker 1: want to be the wife that that that challenges the,
[1:20:10] Speaker 1: husband or that challenges the, kids Or i'm Looking i'm
[1:20:16] Speaker 1: looking For it's like what you do in real, life
[1:20:19] Speaker 1: kind of, right same, spirit same, spirit different, circumstance right for. Sure,
[1:20:23] Speaker 1: yeah someplace to pour that spirit into. It, Yeah hey.
[1:20:27] Speaker 2: Guys you ever sign up for a phone plan Thinking,
[1:20:29] Speaker 2: wow what a great, price and then a few months
[1:20:31] Speaker 2: later it's, like, surprise your bill is. Higher we hate.
[1:20:34] Speaker 2: That With Boost, mobile you pay twenty five dollars a month.
[1:20:38] Speaker 2: Forever that's unlimited, talk text and data starting at just
[1:20:41] Speaker 2: twenty five dollars a. Month there's no price, hikes there's no,
[1:20:44] Speaker 2: contract and this is.
[1:20:45] Speaker 1: Forever.
[1:20:45] Speaker 2: Plus Boost mobile is now a legit nationwide FIVE g.
[1:20:49] Speaker 2: Network they invested billions building FIVE g towers across the.
[1:20:53] Speaker 2: Country so what you need to do is visit boostmobile
[1:20:56] Speaker 2: dot com or head to your local booths store today
[1:20:59] Speaker 2: and get unlimited, talk, text and data for twenty five
[1:21:02] Speaker 2: dollars a month. Forever FIVE g speed's not available in
[1:21:05] Speaker 2: all areas after thirty, gigabytes customers may experience lower. Speeds
[1:21:08] Speaker 2: customers will pay twenty five dollars a month as long
[1:21:11] Speaker 2: as they remain active on The Boost unlimited.
[1:21:13] Speaker 1: Plan we have a voice.
[1:21:20] Speaker 2: Note we have a segments called voice no. Segment somebody
[1:21:22] Speaker 2: sends you a message or a. Question, OKAY i don't
[1:21:26] Speaker 2: know who it. IS i didn't hear this, one So
[1:21:28] Speaker 2: i'm going to share right, Now so.
[1:21:29] Speaker 1: You don't even know what it is. EITHER i don't.
[1:21:30] Speaker 3: Know, HEY, aj what's.
[1:21:32] Speaker 1: Up my Name's.
[1:21:33] Speaker 3: Eddie SO i just got promoted and Now i'm managing
[1:21:37] Speaker 3: people who used to do my coworkers and one of
[1:21:41] Speaker 3: the people THAT i was really close, with you, know
[1:21:44] Speaker 3: we used to be talking about other people at, work
[1:21:47] Speaker 3: the other, bosses and Now i'm going in this position
[1:21:51] Speaker 3: of being their. Boss SO i don't, know is it.
[1:21:55] Speaker 3: Weird i'm not sure how it's going to affect my
[1:21:57] Speaker 3: relationship with my friend right. Now, so, YEAH i don't
[1:22:01] Speaker 3: know what you.
[1:22:02] Speaker 1: Got he's looking for help and. Guidance what did he?
[1:22:08] Speaker 1: Say his Name? Eddie? YEAH i love. That so what you,
[1:22:11] Speaker 1: Got i'm gonna have to start so with. That what you, got, Oh?
[1:22:15] Speaker 2: Eddie first of, all get your question, Out yeah for,
[1:22:19] Speaker 2: sure for.
[1:22:19] Speaker 1: Sure but WHAT i did here and WHAT i did
[1:22:23] Speaker 1: get to give him is you, know again walking in.
[1:22:28] Speaker 1: Truth you got to tell this friend that your professional
[1:22:31] Speaker 1: position has. Changed and it doesn't necessarily have to change the,
[1:22:35] Speaker 1: friendship but the circumstance and how the friendship lives at
[1:22:39] Speaker 1: work has to be. Different sometimes in that, case people
[1:22:43] Speaker 1: can feel like you're leaving them because you're, elevating and
[1:22:46] Speaker 1: in some cases you. Are but in a lot of
[1:22:49] Speaker 1: cases you have to just basically speak up and, say,
[1:22:51] Speaker 1: listen you, KNOW i have to learn too what our
[1:22:55] Speaker 1: friendship is going to look like in this different professional.
[1:22:58] Speaker 1: Standpoint but your friendships of value to, me and let's
[1:23:02] Speaker 1: see how we can do this.
[1:23:02] Speaker 2: Together and how many people talk like, that, Right we've
[1:23:06] Speaker 2: got to talk more About i'm including you in this
[1:23:09] Speaker 2: work AND i don't even know What i'm, doing so
[1:23:12] Speaker 2: SO i need your help in navigating this new.
[1:23:14] Speaker 1: Elevation, yeah and he may disappoint.
[1:23:16] Speaker 2: You that's WHY i said it's better for you to know,
[1:23:19] Speaker 2: now and so you can go on but your career
[1:23:21] Speaker 2: and not let him slow you down or weigh you.
[1:23:23] Speaker 1: Down one of my affirmations IS i trust what, GOES
[1:23:25] Speaker 1: i trust what. Stays you know something's fade because something
[1:23:29] Speaker 1: brighter is on the, way and so when you operate
[1:23:32] Speaker 1: in that, space it makes it easier to come with
[1:23:36] Speaker 1: truth and say so who are you are? You are
[1:23:38] Speaker 1: you a friend that's going to help me get through
[1:23:40] Speaker 1: this and we're going to elevate together in the. Workplace
[1:23:43] Speaker 1: maybe it's we can only maybe our friendship shifts because
[1:23:46] Speaker 1: we can no longer really be friends at, work or
[1:23:48] Speaker 1: maybe it. Dissolves but clearly you got, promoted so you're.
[1:23:51] Speaker 1: Elevated but ultimately it's, truth like you, said, right, like
[1:23:54] Speaker 1: just get to the. Truth, yeah, yeah, yeah. YEAH i
[1:23:56] Speaker 1: don't know why so many people are afraid of the
[1:23:58] Speaker 1: truth and run from the, tree because that's. Love the
[1:24:01] Speaker 1: truth is. Love that's so. GOOD. Aj, okay we got a?
[1:24:05] Speaker 1: Ball is? THERE i ra? Bowl? Okay do you have
[1:24:08] Speaker 1: a sponsor on our? Ball say you could do it? Later?
[1:24:12] Speaker 1: GREAT i love. This you know what's so great about?
[1:24:14] Speaker 1: THIS i do this at? Parties you? DO i. DO
[1:24:17] Speaker 1: i want to go to one of your.
[1:24:18] Speaker 2: PARTIES i haven't done one in a long. Time by
[1:24:20] Speaker 2: using that and you, WILL i want to see one
[1:24:22] Speaker 2: of the. ONE i want to have one of these.
[1:24:24] Speaker 2: Experiences it may be different than.
[1:24:25] Speaker 1: THIS i don't. Know tell me what this. Is they're
[1:24:28] Speaker 1: just are real.
[1:24:28] Speaker 2: Life they're just questions to start a, conversation just real
[1:24:32] Speaker 2: life questions, together they're, like, yeah how you operate your real?
[1:24:35] Speaker 1: Life you, see they're all.
[1:24:37] Speaker 2: Different you can pick one till you like. One you
[1:24:39] Speaker 2: don't have to pick the three things people should care less. About,
[1:24:42] Speaker 2: oh that's a good one for.
[1:24:43] Speaker 1: You that is a good. ONE i like, This okay
[1:24:47] Speaker 1: as a. Gag what are three things people should care less?
[1:24:49] Speaker 1: About you're gonna be good in the. Bowl you might
[1:24:51] Speaker 1: have to do two or three of. These. Yeah. Yeah
[1:24:54] Speaker 1: one THING i think people should care less about is
[1:24:56] Speaker 1: what other people think of. Them mm. Hmm we're all
[1:24:59] Speaker 1: on different journeys and most people are expressing their thoughts
[1:25:03] Speaker 1: one as a reflection of how they feel about. SOMETHING
[1:25:07] Speaker 1: i learned this From bomb migilu As Four. Agreements have
[1:25:09] Speaker 1: you ever read the Book Four? Agreements, yes you, know
[1:25:11] Speaker 1: and he talks, about you, know whether don't think things,
[1:25:14] Speaker 1: personal whether it's a compliment or not a. Compliment it's
[1:25:17] Speaker 1: just a reflection of how they feel about, Something so
[1:25:19] Speaker 1: it's not really about. You so that's the first. Thing number,
[1:25:23] Speaker 1: two what you should care less about boundaries that other
[1:25:28] Speaker 1: people set that they want to place on you that
[1:25:31] Speaker 1: don't necessarily follow your, life like some people feel, like you,
[1:25:34] Speaker 1: KNOW i date too. Young, okay, well then that's you,
[1:25:36] Speaker 1: Know i'm having a. Blast so there's. That you laugh
[1:25:42] Speaker 1: WHENEVER i say. That and then the third thing that
[1:25:45] Speaker 1: should people should care less? About, oh let's see three
[1:25:54] Speaker 1: things people should care less? About, uh how you take,
[1:25:57] Speaker 1: time how you how you present yourself in the. World
[1:26:04] Speaker 1: it may not fit in my, life but if it
[1:26:07] Speaker 1: fits your, Life i'm gonna be happy and celebrate. You
[1:26:10] Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean that we're going to be connected in,
[1:26:12] Speaker 1: it BUT i feel, like you, KNOW i shouldn't care
[1:26:15] Speaker 1: so much about how you present. Yourself does that make? Sense?
[1:26:18] Speaker 1: Yeah for, sure that's. Good i'm. Ready, yeah. Gole how
[1:26:24] Speaker 1: happy are you on a scale of one to? Ten?
[1:26:26] Speaker 1: YEAH i always want you to answer. That you know
[1:26:30] Speaker 1: what you said? Here, okay why do you say? That
[1:26:33] Speaker 1: BECAUSE i want to see What i'm giving? Off do
[1:26:35] Speaker 1: you want me to answer WHAT i think you are? Giving?
[1:26:37] Speaker 1: Yeah how happy do you THINK i am on a
[1:26:38] Speaker 1: scale of one to? Ten? Nine? Really? YEAH i was
[1:26:43] Speaker 1: gonna say. Eight.
[1:26:44] Speaker 2: OKAY i love. THAT i think they're not old. TODAY
[1:26:47] Speaker 2: i DON'T i don't know how you are every day
[1:26:49] Speaker 2: or how you were this.
[1:26:49] Speaker 1: Morning. Yeah, no because my goal is to understand that
[1:26:55] Speaker 1: even the valleys are not. Punishment they're to help stretch
[1:26:59] Speaker 1: me and they're to help. Grow Whatever i'm going, through
[1:27:02] Speaker 1: that valley has a lesson in it or lessons, plural
[1:27:05] Speaker 1: to help stretch, me to prepare me for my next. Elevation,
[1:27:09] Speaker 1: yeah and so instead of being depressed about the, VALLEY
[1:27:12] Speaker 1: i run to, it grab the lessons and try to get. Out.
[1:27:14] Speaker 1: Yeah so for, me when a valley, Comes i'm excited
[1:27:18] Speaker 1: BECAUSE i know what it's. About something's, coming something's coming
[1:27:22] Speaker 1: mother than Where i'm. At. Yeah SO i, mean and,
[1:27:24] Speaker 1: honestly even in the time WHEN i told, YOU i was,
[1:27:27] Speaker 1: Like i'm dealing with some betrayal and some. Disappointment as
[1:27:29] Speaker 1: painful as it's, been and it has been, PAINFUL i
[1:27:33] Speaker 1: understand Why i'm being taken through. It and so this
[1:27:36] Speaker 1: is happening now in real, time real. Time Oh i'm,
[1:27:39] Speaker 1: sorry thank, you real. Time but you See i've already
[1:27:42] Speaker 1: you called me a. Nine AM i? Happy? Yeah it
[1:27:45] Speaker 1: SEEMS i. Don't, yeah BECAUSE i, Mean i'm not faking.
[1:27:47] Speaker 1: IT i. UNDERSTAND i, MEAN i, cry BUT i mean
[1:27:50] Speaker 1: not as long AS i did In, january not as
[1:27:52] Speaker 1: hard AS i did In. February you, KNOW i talk about,
[1:27:55] Speaker 1: it BUT i now understand And i've been been able
[1:27:58] Speaker 1: to see How i'm healing and Where i'm going through. It,
[1:28:02] Speaker 1: yeah you follow THAT i, do so my happy doesn't get.
[1:28:07] Speaker 1: Detoured we'd actually expand that's, funny we.
[1:28:10] Speaker 2: Asked we used. To we used to ask that all
[1:28:12] Speaker 2: the time on the pot and we kind of. Haven't
[1:28:13] Speaker 2: but that was always.
[1:28:14] Speaker 1: Like you, know how we say it to, Be, hey
[1:28:16] Speaker 1: how you?
[1:28:16] Speaker 2: Doing Oh i'm, good, Okay but that doesn't that doesn't
[1:28:19] Speaker 2: really answer a. Question but when you ask somebody how
[1:28:21] Speaker 2: happy are you on a.
[1:28:21] Speaker 1: Scale of one at?
[1:28:22] Speaker 2: Ten we used to do that on. Set we would
[1:28:23] Speaker 2: ask everybody on. Set somebody'd say, five, six, eight sent
[1:28:27] Speaker 2: but if you, know sometimes somebody say four and then
[1:28:29] Speaker 2: everybody pay, attention where we wouldn't do that, before you,
[1:28:33] Speaker 2: KNOW i just think it's a nice way to really check. In,
[1:28:36] Speaker 2: yeah ask me how happy are you? Today it's really
[1:28:39] Speaker 2: supposed to be not in general, today how have you?
[1:28:41] Speaker 1: TODAY i honestly don't THINK i dropped under a five?
[1:28:44] Speaker 1: Ever Really. NO i, mean you, know if there's some
[1:28:48] Speaker 1: tauma happening or a death or SOMETHING i CAN i
[1:28:51] Speaker 1: can drop, Then BUT i just you, know. AGAIN i
[1:28:56] Speaker 1: JUST i focus so much of my life on learning
[1:29:02] Speaker 1: That i'm being, Expanded i'm being. Refined and that's WHY i,
[1:29:07] Speaker 1: say you, know this period in my, LIFE i know
[1:29:09] Speaker 1: for Sure i'm Gonna i'm a season of refinement And
[1:29:12] Speaker 1: i'm trusting. It so it's not. Painless it's not, painless
[1:29:19] Speaker 1: BUT i also it makes it easier BECAUSE i know
[1:29:21] Speaker 1: what it, is you. KNOW i, Mean, okay here we. Go.
[1:29:24] Speaker 1: READY i love this. Game you're so good at the.
[1:29:26] Speaker 1: Bowl nothing about this, surprise this name. AWESOME i say
[1:29:31] Speaker 1: this all the. Time i'm no longer available for. Chaos
[1:29:36] Speaker 1: i'm no longer available for. Confusion i'm no longer available for.
[1:29:42] Speaker 1: Pessimism i'm no longer available for. Betrayal i'm no longer
[1:29:47] Speaker 1: available for.
[1:29:54] Speaker 2: For. Lies i'm no longer available for anything that represents.
[1:30:04] Speaker 1: A. Misalignment i'm only available for, peace for, joy for,
[1:30:10] Speaker 1: happiness and for anything that aligns to my highest. Good
[1:30:16] Speaker 1: you know WHAT i just had a thought.
[1:30:17] Speaker 2: ABOUT i have a friend who's she's really she's always
[1:30:21] Speaker 2: the person she listens a lot to. People people always
[1:30:24] Speaker 2: call her when they're going through, something AND i used
[1:30:28] Speaker 2: to say to, her be careful because people will dump on. You,
[1:30:33] Speaker 2: yeah and make sure that you're not just of use
[1:30:38] Speaker 2: to all of your friends to dump on, you, know
[1:30:41] Speaker 2: because it's very easy when somebody's that's your, role, right
[1:30:44] Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden you're like a trash, can,
[1:30:46] Speaker 2: Right so you could you could be the, nicest sweetest,
[1:30:48] Speaker 2: person but like that attracts sometimes people who need to
[1:30:53] Speaker 2: dump shit in your trash can.
[1:30:55] Speaker 1: Agree AND i just wonder for you how you navigate,
[1:30:58] Speaker 1: that BECAUSE i can be.
[1:31:00] Speaker 2: Complicated, well if all your friends look to you to fix,
[1:31:06] Speaker 2: THEM i.
[1:31:07] Speaker 1: Started with letting them know there's a difference between friendship
[1:31:13] Speaker 1: time and coach. Time so if say we're out of
[1:31:17] Speaker 1: dinner as friends and they asked me something that's a coach,
[1:31:20] Speaker 1: Question i'll, say So i'm. Closed but tomorrow tomorrow at eight,
[1:31:26] Speaker 1: am let's let's schedule an appointment and let's talk this.
[1:31:30] Speaker 1: Through but right Now i'm gonna order another vocatonic and
[1:31:33] Speaker 1: we're gonna have friendship. Time AND i, mean after doing
[1:31:36] Speaker 1: that for, years they get to understand and sometimes they'll, Go,
[1:31:39] Speaker 1: OKAY i don't know if this is a friend a
[1:31:40] Speaker 1: friend question or AND i, said ask me And i'll tell,
[1:31:42] Speaker 1: you and they'll ask, me And i'll, say, well it's
[1:31:44] Speaker 1: kind of. Both, well it's a friend, question and what's
[1:31:46] Speaker 1: a word. QUESTION a friend question is something where we
[1:31:51] Speaker 1: were it's there's a sharing between. Us so a friend
[1:31:54] Speaker 1: question is, Okay so you, know remember we were talking
[1:31:57] Speaker 1: about such and such and you were saying that we
[1:31:59] Speaker 1: should do on one IF i should wear the white
[1:32:00] Speaker 1: dress or. That, okay that's a friendship. QUESTION a client
[1:32:04] Speaker 1: question is, okay so you know when we were talking
[1:32:05] Speaker 1: about the guy And i'm gonna wear the white. Dress
[1:32:07] Speaker 1: i'm not sure if this is a coffee. Date i'm
[1:32:11] Speaker 1: not sure if this should Be, okay that's a client
[1:32:13] Speaker 1: question because that has nothing to do with me as your,
[1:32:15] Speaker 1: friend got, It you see WHAT i? MEAN i Do
[1:32:17] Speaker 1: Now i'm advising you in a potential a potential. Relationship
[1:32:20] Speaker 1: i'm not mad at. It but this is supposed to be
[1:32:22] Speaker 1: a friendship. Dinner SO i started drawing the. LINE i
[1:32:25] Speaker 1: started making boundaries early.
[1:32:27] Speaker 2: ON i was gonna, say it requires if you're that
[1:32:29] Speaker 2: type of, personality that it requires to have bound like real, boundaries,
[1:32:33] Speaker 2: right you.
[1:32:33] Speaker 1: KNOW i try to make it funny to, say you, know,
[1:32:35] Speaker 1: okay so that's a client and we're supposed to be
[1:32:38] Speaker 1: in friendship? Mode so can we do this? Tomorrow on
[1:32:41] Speaker 1: The i'm, sorry what are we doing? Here? Yeah and,
[1:32:45] Speaker 1: oh here they. Go do you want to do one
[1:32:46] Speaker 1: more in the? Ball? Yes? CAN I you're so. Cute
[1:32:49] Speaker 1: she likes the.
[1:32:50] Speaker 2: BOWL a prayer or affirmation you say, Often, Wow WELL
[1:32:57] Speaker 2: i know you got good ONES i.
[1:32:59] Speaker 1: Do i'm trying to figure out which What i'm gonna
[1:33:00] Speaker 1: SAY a prayer apphiation you say. Often, well one of them,
[1:33:03] Speaker 1: Is i'm Only i'm only attracting what aligns with my highest.
[1:33:08] Speaker 1: Good that that's WHEN i say all the. Time another
[1:33:12] Speaker 1: one Is i'm only accepting divine right, things divine right,
[1:33:22] Speaker 1: people and divine right, timing because divine right is a
[1:33:25] Speaker 1: deep divine, right the divine. Right you can say right,
[1:33:29] Speaker 1: people right, places but divine right That's god saying, yes no,
[1:33:33] Speaker 1: Maybe so that's on of. Mine and one More i'm gonna,
[1:33:37] Speaker 1: SAY i love IS i prosper and EVERYTHING i? DO
[1:33:45] Speaker 1: i prosper and EVERYTHING i. AM i prosper and EVERYTHING i,
[1:33:47] Speaker 1: say everything's working out for? Me, yes everything's working out
[1:33:52] Speaker 1: for my. Good, YEAH i prosper and EVERYTHING i do.
[1:33:55] Speaker 1: Good One, yeah of course they're all. Good AND i
[1:33:58] Speaker 1: gotta say, this this is big. SURPRISED i love doing
[1:34:02] Speaker 1: things by. Myself, well Maybe i'm not gonna be a
[1:34:05] Speaker 1: boy myself much. Longer don't SAY i have a? Boyfriend,
[1:34:08] Speaker 1: now well did you? Don't you're saying that? Boyfriend oh,
[1:34:11] Speaker 1: no you, do but that's such a. Title are you
[1:34:14] Speaker 1: dating anyone else besides?
[1:34:15] Speaker 2: Him right?
[1:34:15] Speaker 1: NOW i know you said you have, rotation but really are? You?
[1:34:18] Speaker 1: No not, really you've kind of got them.
[1:34:20] Speaker 2: OFF i had a good, job you, know even like
[1:34:23] Speaker 2: you're barely Like i'm.
[1:34:26] Speaker 1: Not one or two. Hangings so buy a thread by a,
[1:34:29] Speaker 1: thread the grab it on the, grass trying to stay
[1:34:31] Speaker 1: on the mouth, right try to hold on and try
[1:34:34] Speaker 1: to fall you grab anything in. Air BUT i love
[1:34:37] Speaker 1: to hike by. MYSELF i love to shop by. MYSELF
[1:34:39] Speaker 1: i love to go to the movies by. MYSELF i
[1:34:40] Speaker 1: actually like to travel sometimes by. Myself so you, KNOW
[1:34:43] Speaker 1: i don't mind my own. COMPANY i like. Me good for,
[1:34:46] Speaker 1: you we should all we should all aspire to.
[1:34:48] Speaker 2: That, okay our last little round here and then my final,
[1:34:52] Speaker 2: question my favorite question in the, ball will do for?
[1:34:54] Speaker 1: YOU i didn't realize how STRONG i was until wow mm.
[1:35:00] Speaker 1: HMM i didn't realize how STRONG i, was until there's
[1:35:09] Speaker 1: so much that's coming up for, me UNTIL i made
[1:35:12] Speaker 1: the decision to put some attention and some effort into
[1:35:20] Speaker 1: my healthy living side of my life or my. Career
[1:35:25] Speaker 1: Because hollywood didn't know anything about. That and why WOULD
[1:35:28] Speaker 1: i ever do? That why WOULD i just keep reading
[1:35:30] Speaker 1: scripts and and and keep waiting for a, role and you,
[1:35:33] Speaker 1: know why WOULD i? Ever but it's such a part
[1:35:36] Speaker 1: of WHO i am that the more people started asking
[1:35:39] Speaker 1: me for my help and and the more people responded
[1:35:44] Speaker 1: to my soul and my, spirit the MORE i gained
[1:35:47] Speaker 1: confidence in stepping out and finding ways to to share.
[1:35:53] Speaker 1: It that's. Good what is something that you've had to
[1:35:57] Speaker 1: forgive yourself?
[1:35:57] Speaker 2: For? Oh, wow these are. Good you can put them
[1:36:07] Speaker 2: in your ball at your.
[1:36:08] Speaker 1: Party, yeah for, Sure i've had To i've had to.
[1:36:11] Speaker 2: Say it, again something that you've had to forgive, Yourself
[1:36:13] Speaker 2: you had to give you forgive yourself. For, Yeah i've
[1:36:18] Speaker 2: had to forgive myself for.
[1:36:24] Speaker 1: Not having a lot of. Friends M i'm a big people.
[1:36:29] Speaker 1: PERSON i have a lot of, ACQUAINTANCES i know a
[1:36:32] Speaker 1: lot of, people BUT i understand that my divine, assignment
[1:36:37] Speaker 1: especially working with people in this, space it doesn't come
[1:36:42] Speaker 1: with a lot of time and energy for frivolous you,
[1:36:48] Speaker 1: know at the end of my, Day i'm trying to.
[1:36:49] Speaker 1: Refuel i'm trying to. Refill i'm trying to heal from
[1:36:55] Speaker 1: What i've, poured, uh you, know and a lot of
[1:36:59] Speaker 1: a lot of the CASES i get. NOW i, mean
[1:37:00] Speaker 1: it's not just life and career and. Relationship some of
[1:37:05] Speaker 1: it is you, know LIKE i told, you it's wrongful,
[1:37:07] Speaker 1: death some of it is, kidnapping some of it is
[1:37:10] Speaker 1: death of a. Child surviving this stuff SO i. CAN'T
[1:37:15] Speaker 1: i can't hang up the phone at seven o'clock and
[1:37:17] Speaker 1: then be, like you, know meet me for a happy.
[1:37:18] Speaker 1: Hour and so that cuts down a lot of friendships
[1:37:22] Speaker 1: and a lot of friend. Time and that was hard for.
[1:37:25] Speaker 1: Me and so AS i walk deeper into this place
[1:37:28] Speaker 1: in my, Life i've had to forgive myself for wanting
[1:37:31] Speaker 1: those kind of friendships and realizing that it just doesn't
[1:37:33] Speaker 1: come with the. Territory And i'm okay with it, now Are? Yeah,
[1:37:37] Speaker 1: YEAH i STILL i still. THINK i still see girlfriends,
[1:37:40] Speaker 1: out you, know at. Dinner i'm, like, oh they look
[1:37:42] Speaker 1: like they're having. Fun you, Know i'm by myself at the.
[1:37:45] Speaker 1: Bar you, know BUT i, understand you, KNOW i understand
[1:37:48] Speaker 1: what's required of. Me your. Choices, yeah it's a calling
[1:37:50] Speaker 1: and there's certain things that just don't. Fit And i'm
[1:37:53] Speaker 1: okay with. That are you proud of? YOURSELF i am
[1:37:57] Speaker 1: proud of myself in that. Space i'm also proud of
[1:38:00] Speaker 1: myself getting choked. Up i'm proud That i've taken stances
[1:38:15] Speaker 1: that are not necessarily. Popular i'm proud That i've walked
[1:38:20] Speaker 1: past that were necessarily what everybody else is. Doing i'm
[1:38:27] Speaker 1: proud THAT i Hear god and even if it's not
[1:38:32] Speaker 1: the most popular thing to, DO i still follow the
[1:38:35] Speaker 1: divine And i'm proud of. That And i'll ask you
[1:38:42] Speaker 1: what you asked your, people what are the what are the? Tears,
[1:38:44] Speaker 1: well it's not, easy and so the tears are me
[1:38:52] Speaker 1: realizing it's not easy to do. This But i'm So
[1:38:58] Speaker 1: i'm so honored That god's chosen me for the, work
[1:39:02] Speaker 1: and SO i Know i'm Pleasing. Him and that's what
[1:39:04] Speaker 1: this is That i'm. Not i'm not following the popular
[1:39:10] Speaker 1: road that's. Traveled i'm following the divine road that's been
[1:39:13] Speaker 1: a signed to.
[1:39:14] Speaker 2: Me, wow that leads me perfectly into my last, question
[1:39:19] Speaker 2: my favorite question in the Bull If god would have text.
[1:39:22] Speaker 1: You right, now what would it? Say, oh If god
[1:39:29] Speaker 1: were to text me right now and let me get
[1:39:30] Speaker 1: my tissue here and you're gonna make me, cry make you?
[1:39:36] Speaker 1: Cry you? Did, okay ask me, again If god would
[1:39:42] Speaker 1: have texted me right, now what would it? SAY i
[1:39:52] Speaker 1: love the way you hear. Me the pain is not in.
[1:39:57] Speaker 1: Vain i'm proud of you and believe it or. Not
[1:40:05] Speaker 1: as great as you've been doing and as amazing as you,
[1:40:08] Speaker 1: are there's so much. More you can't even imagine with
[1:40:15] Speaker 1: your human little self how MUCH i have for. You
[1:40:19] Speaker 1: so don't give. Up keep. Going whoo as H johnson real.
[1:40:26] Speaker 1: Life this is Aj Aquiah johnson in real. Life hey,
[1:40:32] Speaker 1: guys thanks for.
[1:40:33] Speaker 2: Watching make sure you, subscribe like, comments and check out
[1:40:36] Speaker 2: all of the other episodes we have On Age MARTINEZ
[1:40:39] Speaker 2: Irol podcast

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