# The Ant Fart

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 11 May 2022, 20 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/huhi7vn8mj8w4luuzc0imt55.mp3

The boys had a lot of guests on the show over the years - some more often than others and they recall a rule about guests that had an unintended consequence. They play the audio from one of the greatest moments to ever happen in the history of radio: the broadcast of an ant farting. Plus Andy remembers the time they tried to position Baileys as a sports drink. Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 3, Episode 5.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike Wurst here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 8th of March.
[0:37] Okay, then.
[0:38] It's Hamish go.
[0:39] Let's kick this off and find out what years Ham will take us back to and see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:47] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:55] Do-do-do-do-do.
[0:56] Remembering Project.
[0:57] Thanks very much, guys.
[0:58] Welcome to another episode.
[1:00] It's just good music.
[1:01] It's catchy intro music.
[1:03] Yeah.
[1:04] I don't think that's matching what we've had.
[1:07] No, no, no.
[1:08] Do you remember when?
[1:09] No, no.
[1:10] No, no.
[1:11] No, no.
[1:11] Walking down Mamma Red Lane.
[1:13] That was what you put forward but it didn't make it.
[1:15] We just went with like kind of polite, calm jazz.
[1:19] Like pondering stuff.
[1:21] Okay.
[1:21] Well, I haven't listened to many episodes for a while.
[1:22] I wasn't sure which selection we'd gone to.
[1:25] Hey, March 8, Ando, what a day.
[1:27] Yep.
[1:28] Not a ton of selections over the years from March 8, which we've picked up on a bit from Marches, which is an interesting fact.
[1:34] A couple of historic things happened.
[1:36] One thing I wanted to bring up was as we go back through these shows, and it's fun because we always get the run sheet, right?
[1:42] It always tells you what was on.
[1:44] And you flick them through and sometimes you're looking at other years' run sheets.
[1:48] Tell you who's someone we had on?
[1:51] more than we thought.
[1:52] There's a couple of people that just keep popping up.
[1:55] I think we've mentioned it before.
[1:55] Natalie Bassinkite.
[1:57] Danny Minogue.
[1:58] And then Jason… What's his name?
[2:01] Coleman.
[2:01] Yeah, the judge from So You Think You Can Dance.
[2:04] Just obviously came along.
[2:05] Available.
[2:06] Available.
[2:07] Willing and available.
[2:08] And you know what?
[2:09] Radio shows and stuff in general, they go through cycles.
[2:13] Every six months, like, you have…
[2:15] A meeting?
[2:16] How's the show going?
[2:17] Where are we going?
[2:18] What are we like?
[2:19] And I'd probably say at some point we went less Jason Coleman.
[2:23] Well, I reckon it goes in waves.
[2:25] Not specifically, but like… The mood would have been there.
[2:28] It does go in waves.
[2:29] With all due respect to Jason as well.
[2:31] It's just like I just don't think we needed an update on how people were dancing so often.
[2:35] Yeah, but I reckon more broadly it was more like…
[2:39] Less guests.
[2:39] And then six months later, it'd be like, we need more guests.
[2:42] Like, we're having fun with guests.
[2:43] And then it'd be like, too many guests.
[2:44] Let's, like, get back on those guests.
[2:46] So you do go in waves.
[2:48] One person… Do you remember?
[2:49] Do you remember?
[2:50] I mean… Probably not.
[2:51] I hope I'm not stepping on… I doubt.
[2:53] I mean, step away.
[2:54] But… I'm not precious about any of this.
[2:56] We…
[2:58] Natalie Grislinsky, is that her name?
[3:00] Oh, yeah.
[3:00] No, this is not what – I remember what you were going to say and this is not what I'm bringing up.
[3:04] Natalie Grislinsky, who's from Farmer Wants a Wife.
[3:08] And I think she may have been Getaway back.
[3:10] And, yeah, various Network Nine shows.
[3:12] Real like a – you know, was a go-to host for Channel Nine.
[3:16] Great host.
[3:16] Did a great job.
[3:17] Great host, great person.
[3:19] She was offered for the show for, I think, Farmer Wants a Wife.
[3:24] And we went, yeah, fuck.
[3:25] We were busy.
[3:26] We were busy.
[3:26] And again, you talk about these waves.
[3:28] One of the rules that we cared about for a hot second was like, nah, we just want them in studio.
[3:33] Guests have got to come in.
[3:34] You can look them in the eyes.
[3:36] You can have more fun.
[3:36] Because it was too hard on the phone.
[3:38] You couldn't do it.
[3:38] Well, we'd rather just talk about other stuff than do stuff over the phone.
[3:41] So we're like, okay.
[3:42] That was probably just a whim and we were eating Nando's and bored in a meeting and just decided to make a rule.
[3:46] Yeah.
[3:47] And so, yeah, Natalie Grislinsky was on the show and it had obviously got back
[3:53] You can come on the show but you must be in the studio.
[3:56] We hadn't thought about it.
[3:58] These things get booked like three weeks in advance.
[3:59] The difference being it had been communicated to her that she specifically had to be there rather than us just musing that in general all human beings should be in the studio.
[4:10] Yeah, we'd prefer it if people were in the studio.
[4:12] She's taken it as Natalie must be in the studio.
[4:16] Someone on Channel 9 has told her you have to be in the studio.
[4:18] Yeah.
[4:19] So she's arrived and we're like, oh, gee, Nancy, we don't think of what we should do.
[4:22] We're walking to the studio and she goes... No, we were very unprepared.
[4:25] It was B minus.
[4:26] She goes, very nervous.
[4:28] Why?
[4:29] She goes, well, what have you prepared for me?
[4:31] Because I've been flown down for this.
[4:32] Flown all the way from Sydney because we're told I had to be...
[4:36] Told I had to be here in the studio.
[4:38] Why would anyone?
[4:39] Oh, that rule we made when we're eating nendos.
[4:43] And so she's walking into the studio thinking it's going to be full of farm animals or something.
[4:47] And she's looking around the studio as she walks in.
[4:50] And Andy and I are sitting there going, and have you ever been to a farm or like, you know,
[4:58] What's your favourite track show?
[5:00] She definitely spent the 10 minutes that we would have spent with her going, it's coming, the prank's coming.
[5:06] That was terrible.
[5:07] Then she left the studio and I think she still would have been in the lift going, they're up to something.
[5:12] This is good.
[5:13] So they've done the joke bad interview.
[5:16] Now a herd of Shetland ponies bowls me over.
[5:20] Probably by the time she was back on the aeroplane, she would have begun to realise, I think that was just a shit interview.
[5:28] Do you know who?
[5:29] Okay, so here's the person that pops up more than you would think.
[5:32] Sandra Bullock was on the show more than you would think.
[5:35] Yeah.
[5:36] I reckon she was on three times.
[5:38] Great at press.
[5:39] But she loves it.
[5:40] She was one of those people who just loved doing it and was great fun to play with.
[5:43] I mean...
[5:44] This is where we would break the must-be-in-studio rule.
[5:47] Yeah, of course.
[5:48] No, phone is fine.
[5:49] I mean, could we come to the hotel room?
[5:51] Absolutely not.
[5:51] You'd be on the phone.
[5:52] We'll take it.
[5:53] We'll happily take it.
[5:54] But she must love press because just recently for our pod, the Hamish Dirty Pod, she just got offered to do it and we... She's not even doing a movie.
[6:02] She's like, how would you like me just out there talking about things?
[6:06] Which is great.
[6:07] She was always fun.
[6:09] So that was in 2013, March 8, 2013.
[6:11] We had Sandra on.
[6:12] What would it have been for Miss Congeniality?
[6:15] 2013, yeah, tough to say.
[6:16] Maybe Blindside?
[6:18] I reckon it might have been Gravity or Interstellar, whichever one she was in.
[6:22] Gravity.
[6:23] She wasn't in Interstellar.
[6:24] Well, look up Sandra Bullock 2013.
[6:25] That's what you meant to be hot on the count of this.
[6:27] I reckon it's Gravity, Mike.
[6:28] The Heat, maybe The Heat, but Miss Congeniality was in 2000.
[6:31] Do you know what?
[6:32] The Heat is more likely.
[6:34] They probably did sequels to Miss Congeniality.
[6:36] No, but again, and we've been over this rule before, Gravity, I think, won an Oscar.
[6:39] Yeah.
[6:40] You don't get stars for Oscars.
[6:43] People in Australia get offered celebrities for movies that aren't doing well.
[6:46] Yeah.
[6:47] They're not sending someone for gravity.
[6:49] They're fine.
[6:50] There's Oscar bars about gravity.
[6:51] Well, she did two films in 2013, The Heat and Gravity.
[6:55] So it's probably The Heat.
[6:56] That's part of being an actress, isn't it?
[6:58] And playing all end of the spectrum.
[6:59] I think it was a comedy.
[7:00] I think it was a buddy cop comedy, The Heat.
[7:02] Yeah.
[7:03] Oh, with Melissa McCarthy?
[7:04] I think it could have been.
[7:05] That was what it was.
[7:06] I was also producing corn water at that stage.
[7:09] My idea to take on coconut water, just the water from tins of corn, which did have some nutritional benefit.
[7:18] Yes.
[7:19] But it wasn't… Tasty.
[7:21] It wasn't… It didn't quench the thirst.
[7:23] No.
[7:24] It didn't slake the thirst the way that a coconut water does.
[7:27] Hogs, in 2010, came on the show for Hogs Inventions, which we've covered a few times in a year.
[7:32] Love it.
[7:33] Do you know what his invention was March 8, 2010?
[7:35] I won't go back into it but just for old time's sake.
[7:38] Yeah.
[7:38] Can you give me the field?
[7:41] How do I do this without you guessing it?
[7:45] It was one of the biggies.
[7:47] Oh.
[7:47] It snowballed.
[7:48] Jeepers.
[7:49] So was it, what year?
[7:52] 2010.
[7:52] Was it a song?
[7:54] Yeah.
[7:55] A song about hating Monday.
[7:57] He came on and he said, I think there's time we have another song about hating Mondays.
[8:01] It ended up being a massive song.
[8:03] That's unreal.
[8:04] I've got a little bit that I want to play from that show in 2010.
[8:10] We have these logged on the run sheet.
[8:13] The things that get logged on the run sheet for people that,
[8:15] which is everyone hasn't seen a radio show at Run Sheep before.
[8:17] Basically, it's like a one-line thing, which, for example, Hogs has an idea for I Hate Mondays.
[8:22] That's it.
[8:23] From like, you know, and that covers like 20 minutes of the show.
[8:26] The only other thing that gets logged is sponsors.
[8:29] Because we have to write down in case a sponsor ever goes, hang on a sec, you didn't say the name.
[8:33] You can be like, oh, no, no, we did it, five past five.
[8:37] So those get, and I noticed a sponsor that was in there.
[8:40] And I went, oh, wasn't that a fun chapter?
[8:43] Bailey's.
[8:44] Oh, dear.
[8:45] Bailey's Irish Whiskey Cream.
[8:47] Irish Cream?
[8:48] Irish Whiskey.
[8:49] Good drink.
[8:50] Bloody good drink.
[8:51] On a bit of ice.
[8:52] Impossible.
[8:52] We thought it was funny.
[8:54] It just somehow became a joke that we… Because we were like, everyone knows what Bailey's is.
[8:59] Yeah.
[8:59] Of course.
[8:59] It's a nightcap.
[9:00] It's a nightcap.
[9:01] It's something that you might sneak into an espresso martini with a bit of clore.
[9:06] We thought, like, so many people know what Baileys is.
[9:09] We'll joke about how it's Australia's number one sports drink and how you can come back from a run and pound 500 mils of Baileys, replenish all your lost Baileys.
[9:19] More than just the nightcap, essentially.
[9:21] We were just offering it and we thought Baileys would be thrilled with this because they're going into a market that they traditionally weren't in.
[9:29] If you find an alternate use for a product, it normally means a great use for a company.
[9:35] Exactly.
[9:35] And we're like, wouldn't this be funny if people at bars are like, I actually did do a bit of exercise today.
[9:41] I need a Bailey's to replenish my body.
[9:43] Mike.
[9:44] No.
[9:44] They did not like it.
[9:45] No.
[9:46] Comedy.
[9:47] No.
[9:47] No.
[9:47] That was a comedy no-no.
[9:49] So…
[9:50] I don't know if this Bailey's credit involves us saying the joke because then we got reined in.
[9:56] We did.
[9:57] So what you're about to hear, because we never hear these bits before we play them, what you're about to hear is either us talking about how Bailey's is a sports drink, which would be awesome.
[10:05] I reckon it will be because the only time we got reined in was when we did a live show from my house.
[10:12] And I reckon this is, but I think we got reined in beforehand.
[10:16] We had to read verbatim.
[10:18] The Baileys credit.
[10:19] So here's my thing.
[10:20] If this is in the days leading up to your house, I think the whip has been cracked.
[10:24] If not, we'll hear sports drink starts.
[10:26] This could just be a very boring ad for Baileys.
[10:29] The 8th of March, 2010.
[10:32] Hey, I've got an idea for what we can do Thursday night before our bye-bye tri-biathlon where we're going to do 24 sports in a row.
[10:40] I was thinking of tapering.
[10:42] What do you mean?
[10:42] Just not doing any training, not doing any weights.
[10:44] I probably won't do any boxing.
[10:46] But you've done that for years.
[10:47] Yeah, that's what I always do.
[10:50] Taper.
[10:50] I'm a good taperer.
[10:51] I'm going to finish off my 28-year taper.
[10:53] Just really bring it to a close because we've got a lot of sports to do over the weekend, Andy.
[10:57] We're not even having a weekend, really.
[10:59] I've got an idea.
[10:59] Just sportsing it up.
[11:01] I've got an idea.
[11:01] I'm so confident with the idea.
[11:02] I even went and got a sponsor.
[11:04] Really?
[11:05] Yep.
[11:05] What do you mean?
[11:07] It's not Sony, is it?
[11:08] No.
[11:09] Don't say others.
[11:09] Oh, no.
[11:10] I hope they don't send us a massive TV for mentioning them.
[11:13] You can't do that.
[11:16] I said I hope they don't.
[11:21] And this is going to annoy the sponsor that I've actually got.
[11:25] Who have we got?
[11:25] Well, no, I've got.
[11:27] Okay, who have you got?
[11:28] And I'll tell you the idea after this.
[11:29] Bailey's, treat yourself tonight.
[11:32] Oh, great.
[11:32] I love the idea.
[11:33] I already love it if Bailey's is on.
[11:35] But I'll tell you my idea after this.
[11:37] Okay.
[11:37] Thanks to Bailey's.
[11:38] Nothing to do with the other company you mentioned.
[11:40] I've said I don't want that from the babysitter.
[11:42] I don't want that from the babysitter.
[11:46] That's where it started.
[11:47] And no wonder why we're calling it a sports drink.
[11:49] Because we're going to sponsor something to do with our weekend of 36 sports or whatever it was.
[11:55] We went and played in 36 different teams.
[11:58] You nominate your team.
[11:59] We flew around the country and we played how many sports?
[12:03] 36, was it?
[12:03] Hang on.
[12:03] It was a bye-bye, so that's four.
[12:05] Try 12, bye 24.
[12:07] Yep.
[12:08] Bye-bye Tri-Biathlon.
[12:10] Yeah, 24 sports.
[12:11] In a week, I had to play for at least half the game with your like uni or high school or social team or whatever.
[12:16] Yeah.
[12:17] And it absolutely cooked us.
[12:18] Do you know, I still occasionally see a guy called Dave who played for the UNSW football team.
[12:24] Oh, right.
[12:24] Sometimes he will often reintroduce himself to me like, I was your captain.
[12:30] That's great.
[12:31] Well, no, I was hoping it was more sports drinks.
[12:34] But it makes sense why we're talking about sports drinks.
[12:36] That was a fun, I just wanted to take that quick detour because I still think of Bailey's as a sports drink.
[12:42] And then I also remember how much they did
[12:45] did not wish for that to be their positioner.
[12:48] Going back to 2007, Ando, couldn't pass this up.
[12:51] This is Hamish and Andy history.
[12:53] This is Hall of Fame stuff.
[12:55] It simply is three words, the ant fart.
[13:02] Before we listen to it, the actual sponsorship stuff, because we've had Sony, we've had Bailey's, let's have the real sponsors.
[13:08] And then we'll hear when someone recorded an ant farting for us.
[13:15] Great.
[13:16] Let's get into it.
[13:17] The Ant Fight.
[13:19] The 8th of March, 2007.
[13:21] Heading into what will be groundbreaking radio, not only for this program, but worldwide.
[13:29] It's a world first, and look, we're very excited to be able to do it.
[13:32] Poco, how are you, mate?
[13:34] Good, mate.
[13:35] How are you?
[13:35] Really good.
[13:36] Now, you have contacted us here, and you have sent us audio.
[13:40] How did you go about recording an ant fart?
[13:43] All right, mate.
[13:44] Look, let me tell you, it's nothing that you can't buy at Tandy.
[13:47] It took a little while to sort of put together and come up with the idea.
[13:52] I think it was well worth it.
[13:54] What sort of microphone did you use?
[13:57] Very small one, mate.
[13:58] Very small one.
[13:58] It's basically something out of a hearing aid.
[14:02] And we also incorporated a Roland sensor out of a drum kit, an electronic drum kit.
[14:09] I assumed it would be a very small microphone.
[14:11] I didn't think you'd just sort of take an ant to a karaoke night, pop him on the microphone and hope for a bit of a... We did try.
[14:18] We did try.
[14:19] Now, Poco, I mean, we're so rapt that you undertook this experiment for us.
[14:24] Tell us, how did you know on how long did you have to wait for the ant to pass wind?
[14:29] It took about two and a half hours waiting for the ant.
[14:32] And then we realized we had to feed it something else.
[14:36] Did you have anyone knock on your door and go, Hey, Paco, what are you doing in there?
[14:39] Just waiting for an ant to fart.
[14:40] I'll be out in a second.
[14:42] And were you with a group of people, or did you sit there by yourself?
[14:46] Yeah, by myself, mate.
[14:47] By yourself.
[14:48] Don't know why, mate.
[14:48] Don't know why.
[14:49] This is a great thing to do on a first date.
[14:51] Paco, what did you feed the ant?
[14:54] Okay, a little bit of sugar with a tiny little diuretic tablet crushed up.
[15:00] David, a diuretic as well?
[15:03] Brilliant idea, Poco.
[15:04] I mean, we had to take into consideration the ant.
[15:08] We didn't want to give it too much and kill it.
[15:10] Yeah, sure.
[15:11] I mean, you don't want work getting out that Poco's fart laboratory kills its subjects.
[15:17] otherwise all the other insects won't join up so you can record them.
[15:20] That's right, mate, that's right.
[15:22] I mean, we need other noises and, you know, we need other insects.
[15:26] We don't want work getting around.
[15:27] So, Paco, one last question.
[15:29] Did you just have one single ant or did you have a few out there?
[15:33] We had three ants that we selected.
[15:35] Yep.
[15:36] And let me just say, mate, any other time it's easy to come across an ant, but when you actually need one, very hard to find.
[15:41] Yeah.
[15:42] Now, did you have a name?
[15:43] Do you know which one it was, Droplet's Cuts?
[15:45] Yeah.
[15:46] No, mate.
[15:47] Sample A, sample B, sample C. Good professional.
[15:50] Parker, can I ask you, what type of ants did you try and track down?
[15:55] Initially, we looked for bull.
[15:56] We couldn't get one of those, so we did the little tiny black ones, the ones that sort of raid the cupboards of the night.
[16:02] Yeah, I'm glad it's a good little ant, because some part of me goes, yeah, bull ants would fart, but I don't know about the other ones.
[16:08] Absolutely, and Poco, my other question being, obviously with air conditioners going on, a lot of ambient sounds and so on in everyday life, how did you get something quiet enough to be able to pick up an ant farting?
[16:22] Well mate, I think when it's in the footage you hear some ant farting, it's a good thing
[16:26] outside noise, we couldn't avoid that because the amplification of the fart itself, it sort of also picked up every other noise, even breathing, everything else.
[16:36] Wow.
[16:36] Like wind crossing the room.
[16:38] Yeah, no, look, you've done absolutely sensationally, Poco.
[16:41] Ladies and gentlemen.
[16:43] It is with great pleasure that everybody associated with the Hamish and Andy show and with special thanks to Poco, the amateur recording enthusiast who has sent this in and recorded this for us.
[16:54] Keep it together, big guy.
[16:55] It is with great pleasure.
[16:56] We now ask you to turn your radios up.
[16:59] Lean in.
[17:01] Because in a few seconds' time, what you'll hear is static.
[17:04] Well, Paco has outlined exactly the audio you will hear.
[17:07] There'll be a few seconds of static, then the noise you hear at the end is, for the first time to human ears, an ant farting.
[17:15] Now, static, you'll hear a lot of, obviously, air and room sounds, and then you'll hear what can only be described as broadcasting history.
[17:25] Five, four, three, two...
[17:35] Yes!
[17:35] Hallelujah!
[17:43] I don't know if we have to go through official channels to get a broadcasting award.
[17:47] I don't know if they just hand them out immediately.
[17:50] Can we hear the amp?
[17:51] Can we hear the amp?
[17:52] What we'll hear is that...
[17:53] If you didn't hear it the first time, it sounds probably more like a small burp.
[17:57] It's static and then it's the noise right at the end.
[17:59] Everyone very quiet.
[18:00] Let's hear it again.
[18:06] Oh, gosh.
[18:07] I can't believe it.
[18:08] It's an outstanding moment.
[18:09] We'll see what Poco and how Poco feels about this wonderful achievement in radio history.
[18:14] Thank you very much, Poco.
[18:15] How did you feel it was delivered?
[18:17] Mate, very good.
[18:18] Very good.
[18:18] I'm a little emotional.
[18:20] I'll just check.
[18:22] I just want to thank you guys.
[18:24] Oh, no, but we want to thank you, and I'm sure all the listeners that haven't fainted want to thank you as well.
[18:30] It is amazing.
[18:31] Where were you when the first Ant Fart was broadcast?
[18:34] Thank you so much to Paco.
[18:36] It is amazing, and to take us out, Ham, we probably have to do.
[18:39] Well, Andy, before we go to a song, I was just wondering if you could pull this ant's finger for me.
[18:44] Give it a hold.
[18:49] Actually, Andy, I was just wondering if maybe you could sit on this tiny whoopee cushion.
[18:53] Yeah, okay.
[18:57] It was better than I remembered.
[18:59] I mean, I'll be honest.
[19:01] I remembered we did a huge build-up, but it still got me how fast it was.
[19:07] The gurgle.
[19:08] And whether that's net farting or not, I mean, who knows?
[19:12] Paco sold it well.
[19:13] Yeah.
[19:14] I don't even remember meeting Paco or background checks.
[19:18] I would have loved to go send us a picture of the setup.
[19:20] Yeah.
[19:21] But he explained it so clearly.
[19:23] Yeah.
[19:24] We just like, why not?
[19:24] I think he's really done it.
[19:26] Great remembering.

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