# The Time We Did The Whole Show On The Phone

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 23 May 2021, 20 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/fziq4jykrcq26w6robybj9nz.mp3

Hamish & Andy remember one of the times they had to do an on-air retraction for something they got wrong on the show, which naturally they blame Jack for. They recall chatting to Buzz Aldrin and how much it bugged Buzz that nobody remembers his famous line from the moon. On this day in 2016 Hamish was thrilled to discover there are golf club ‘captains’ and the process that new golfers need to go through to be accepted. The boys replay their live show from Cocklebiddy – a desolate petrol station in the middle of the Nullabor – and the extreme (and possibly illegal) lengths they went to to broadcast the show. Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 2, Episode 7.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 5th of October.
[0:37] OK, then, it's Hamish go.
[0:39] Let's kick this off and find out what years Hamish will take us back to and see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:47] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:54] Ando, Fifth of the Box Nobber, throughout the years, did a bunch of shows, half a dozen shows throughout the years.
[0:59] I want to quickly address something that we talked about in Season 1 of The Remembering Project.
[1:03] In 2012, we invented a song based on the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
[1:10] Yes.
[1:10] Which is- The Bacon 100.
[1:11] The Bacon 100.
[1:12] So, where you can link anyone on Earth through Six Degrees of Separation.
[1:17] Kevin Bacon's become the poster boy for that.
[1:19] We wanted to go the long way between two people and see if we could link.
[1:23] Because the game with Kevin Bacon is just like pick one actor and link to Kevin Bacon within five films.
[1:29] And we've tried to link.
[1:31] And I think it's been mathematically proven you can always do it.
[1:33] So it's not really an exciting game.
[1:35] I suppose it's about thinking about the films.
[1:37] So you can always do it.
[1:37] It's like what are the films?
[1:38] So we went, you know, can we go the long way?
[1:40] If people heard that in season one, we linked Kevin Bacon.
[1:43] Kevin Bacon to somebody else.
[1:47] I can't remember.
[1:47] I can't remember who we started with.
[1:48] We talked about it a few months ago.
[1:51] In a hundred films.
[1:52] Yep.
[1:52] And we had a lot of fun writing it.
[1:54] We did it sort of one afternoon.
[1:55] We're on the Caravan of Courage in New Zealand.
[1:57] And we have fond memories of, you know, sitting up in the beds in the caravan, like, you know, rapidly Googling stuff, trying to do the Bacon 100.
[2:05] But on October 5th, 2012, which I think was a few days after we'd done the Bacon 100 in New Zealand, we were on the Caravan.
[2:13] We had a, I forgot about this, we had a segment where we were forced to apologise and retract because we had incorrectly, we put one incorrectly in there.
[2:25] which was we claimed David Schwimmer was in the movie Plan B and he was not.
[2:30] Yeah.
[2:31] I can't remember who was on that because it was you, me, and Jack like divvying up.
[2:34] Yes.
[2:36] Jack would have been on that.
[2:37] I think it was Jack.
[2:38] I do think it was Jack unfortunately accidentally.
[2:41] I remember you being, I mean we were both devastated that we stuffed it but you did find a reroute that you found, you actually.
[2:49] We repatched it but no, it was the fix no one asked for to a problem that
[2:54] was invent.
[2:55] Yeah, we invent.
[2:56] Yeah.
[2:56] So that was what we were doing October 5, 2012.
[3:03] 2010, Buzz Aldrin was on the show.
[3:07] Yes.
[3:08] Straight into a, it's like, and if I remember correctly, speaking, you know, quite earnestly about alien civilizations.
[3:17] Yeah.
[3:17] Which we found quite interesting.
[3:19] He also was a touch boring.
[3:20] Yeah.
[3:22] and we were so excited.
[3:24] We both love space.
[3:25] Jesus, this guy's walked on the moon.
[3:27] He's walked on the moon.
[3:27] I mean, he wasn't first.
[3:28] He knows that.
[3:29] Yeah.
[3:31] One thing I do, I do.
[3:33] We did like, I mean, it's unbelievable to have Buzz Aldrin on the show.
[3:36] Yeah.
[3:37] But one thing that, yeah, you just couldn't get around was like… Lance Armstrong would have been better.
[3:45] Yes.
[3:47] Do you mean Neil?
[3:48] I think you mean Neil.
[3:49] Sorry.
[3:49] But Lance would have been good too.
[3:51] Don't want Lance.
[3:51] Sorry, Neil Armstrong.
[3:54] After it was revealed that Neil Armstrong cheated seven times…
[3:57] He never actually went to the moon those seven times.
[4:00] Sorry, Neil Armstrong would be better.
[4:01] But I think it was that thing where Buzz knew and, you know, and having, you know, for people that are into space, you know, that Neil Armstrong was very, very like a quiet dude, like didn't do a lot of press, like just didn't cash in on being, didn't want to ever cash in on being first man on the moon.
[4:15] But, of course, one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind went down as one of the greatest lines in the most watched moment of human history.
[4:23] Yeah.
[4:24] And...
[4:26] You could tell...
[4:27] It irked Buzz a bit because he also had a line.
[4:31] It bugged Buzz.
[4:32] It bugged Buzz a bit because he kept trying to bring the conversation back to where he said, and that's, of course, when I uttered my line, it's just desolate tranquility.
[4:42] Yeah.
[4:42] It was something like peaceful tranquility or like, you know, peaceful desolation or something.
[4:47] Again, it doesn't stick, it doesn't stick.
[4:49] But he had a line like that that he mentioned a few times and that was the name of his book.
[4:54] And he was saying, you know, of course, like on that second –
[4:57] Space Walker out in the Sea of Tranquility picking up our rocks and that's where I added the famous line.
[5:03] Not our famous.
[5:03] It's just beautiful desolation.
[5:05] What is the famous line, Mike?
[5:06] I think it's magnificent desolation.
[5:08] Magnificent desolation.
[5:09] Again, one small step is so much better.
[5:12] And so you guys are probably wondering where I came up with the line magnificent desolation and it really just came to me in the moment.
[5:20] It's just sort of two words.
[5:22] It doesn't.
[5:23] We also just realised as well that he was really old.
[5:26] He was a really old guy.
[5:27] And it was, again, awesome to have him on.
[5:29] Honoured to have chatted to him.
[5:30] Unbelievable.
[5:31] But it was that thing of just going, it was unbelievable just to have that connection to something incredible from human history.
[5:39] But we moved on pretty quickly in the show.
[5:41] I think we just had him on for one break.
[5:42] Then we went straight into a game that I think was sponsored of Guess Whom?
[5:47] Really?
[5:47] Where I was Oprah.
[5:49] So I think we had a segment called Guess Whom and I vaguely remember I'd have to be people.
[5:54] It was like celebrity and people have to ask me questions and I would give them.
[5:59] I think we were doing it for Snickers.
[6:02] So that day we were playing Guess Who and Where I Was, Oprah.
[6:08] Then 2016 you had a meeting with the captain of your golf club.
[6:12] Okay.
[6:13] I can't remember what this is about but I remember us being delighted to find out there was captains of golf clubs.
[6:18] Well, you actually get.
[6:19] Don't make us hear it again.
[6:21] No, no, but you…
[6:23] You guys are funny that you actually… You get summoned by the captain.
[6:26] You mightn't get accepted.
[6:28] That's right.
[6:29] And the captain summons you.
[6:30] So you have to apply to be a captain?
[6:31] No, no, no.
[6:34] Like you have to… To enter the golf club, you have to play around with the captain and then the captain… With your pants off.
[6:43] And the captain then goes…
[6:45] Yes, you're fit to play at our club.
[6:46] You swing a stick well, my boy.
[6:48] Yes.
[6:48] Have you ever been rejected?
[6:50] No, it's pretty hard to be rejected.
[6:52] Like, what if someone couldn't play?
[6:54] No, anyone, it's not about how you play.
[6:57] It's basically about your etiquette and whether you're a nice person.
[7:00] What if you shot, I mean, I know on a golf course you're trying to get about 80.
[7:05] What if I shot 500?
[7:06] 500.
[7:07] And I was out there all day, like doing all the right etiquette and just constantly chipping the ball past the hole and just like, you know, bowing before I went on the green and taking my shoes and socks off and stuff and all the stuff you're meant to do.
[7:19] I'd love to set it up.
[7:21] I'd love to set it up.
[7:22] Just said, where would the captain go?
[7:23] I don't think golf's for you.
[7:24] The captain would go...
[7:27] I'll pick that up.
[7:28] You know, we'll go to the next.
[7:29] He would like...
[7:30] He'd intervene on your...
[7:32] But what if I did a deep bow and I laid out my putters in the right way and I said... And I waved both my putters over me and I said, honourably, sir, I would like to continue.
[7:41] If you said, oh, look, now I'm handing you a card.
[7:43] I really want to see every ball in.
[7:44] He'd have to say... You'd have to honour it.
[7:46] He'd have to honour it.
[7:47] A 500...
[7:49] for 500 round.
[7:50] Boy, I'd love to set that up hidden camera.
[7:51] Could you get to 1,000?
[7:54] With deepest love, my captain, I will play on.
[7:58] Well, the sun is setting, my sir.
[8:01] Perhaps we pick this up tomorrow.
[8:03] We're on the second hole and the score was 701.
[8:07] I'll mark it and we'll resume at first light.
[8:11] We should set that up somehow.
[8:14] Oh, I'd love to.
[8:15] Well, I have always promised you that when I turn 40, I'll try and get into golf.
[8:18] So I've got a year.
[8:20] Okay, so we had the captain, had a bit of a laugh with the captain.
[8:24] There was one that I, you know, the way we put this show together is Marshy, who works behind the scenes, he sort of sends us all the old run sheets.
[8:31] Like Marshy is our audio wizard.
[8:33] Yep.
[8:33] Sends us the run sheets.
[8:34] He goes, have a look through, you know, tell us what you want.
[8:37] Like pick the break, I'll find it.
[8:39] And so I found one.
[8:39] I was like, oh, we did a prank with Russell Crowe's assistant.
[8:43] Oh, right.
[8:44] Back in the day.
[8:45] And I was like, what was that, Marshy?
[8:46] You reckon you could find that?
[8:47] And he wrote back to me and he said,
[8:50] I want to play that one because, you know, Russell wouldn't want us to hear it.
[8:55] Just best for everyone.
[8:57] Just best for everyone.
[8:59] Best for everyone.
[9:00] Because it was when Russell Crowe, you know, it was the phone throwing thing.
[9:03] Right.
[9:04] I think one of us was pretending to be Russell throwing some stuff around.
[9:08] Right.
[9:08] And just, um, the party's call was like...
[9:12] Hasn't aged.
[9:13] Hasn't aged well.
[9:13] Probably just lands on the wrong side of the fence from, you know, that old classic funny or not funny fence.
[9:18] Yeah.
[9:19] You know which paddock you want to be in.
[9:21] You want to be in the funny paddock.
[9:22] Yep.
[9:22] And I think it might have accidentally snuck into the other paddock on the other side of the fence.
[9:26] It was designed to eat straight away and didn't taste particularly good back then.
[9:30] So how would it feel now?
[9:31] So why would you go to the fridge now and eat it 15 years later?
[9:36] I think that's the...
[9:37] It was a bad mac and cheese on the day.
[9:39] And that's what's good about having Marshy listen to them and go, you don't want that one.
[9:45] I think we just don't dig that corpse up.
[9:48] We just let the worms continue to eat that.
[9:50] And then over time, a beautiful meadow will grow in that field and we won't even remember it's buried there.
[9:56] So for Russell, for everyone's sake, we'll just let that one quietly float on by.
[10:01] Okay.
[10:02] Here's something I want to hear, and at risk of going against what this whole experiment, the whole remembering project is for, the bit I want to play, I think I want to play it because it's terrible audio quality.
[10:17] Oh, right.
[10:17] There was a reason we had terrible audio quality, and that's what I think allows us to remember this one.
[10:23] Right.
[10:24] We'll hear it after the break.
[10:27] Ando, 2007, October 5, 2007, we were on the Caravan of Courage and we're in the small town of Cocklebiddy.
[10:32] Cocklebiddy.
[10:33] Tiny town, population seven.
[10:35] Population seven, four of them on holiday.
[10:37] Four of them on holiday.
[10:38] Basically like a gas station, a petrol station in the middle of the Nullarbor.
[10:42] So we were driving across from Perth across to the east coast, middle of the Nullarbor, like, you know.
[10:50] A giant petrol station on the highway.
[10:53] And kind of a beautiful part of the world, like magnificent desolation out there, which I said at the time.
[11:00] And everyone cheered and applauded.
[11:03] And it really is magnificently desolate.
[11:06] But amongst that magnificent desolation, there is a petrol station and that is the town.
[11:11] So...
[11:12] We, on that Caravan of Courage, our whole thing was like, look, we're just going to, wherever we stop, we're doing the show.
[11:16] And we had a satellite truck with us.
[11:19] Yes.
[11:19] That was meant to beam the show back, but I just couldn't get a signal.
[11:22] Jeff was running that, wasn't he?
[11:23] Yeah.
[11:23] Yeah.
[11:24] Jeff was a legend, but we couldn't get a signal or there was no way we could beam the show back from Cocklepiddy.
[11:31] We're just in the middle of, it really is the middle of nowhere.
[11:34] There is no other towns within hundreds of kilometres.
[11:37] So Jeff, who's like, he's a tech, he's an engineer, he...
[11:41] We crowbarred the phone box off, I think with permission from Telstra.
[11:45] Yeah.
[11:45] But then hooked into the Telstra line that goes into the back of the phone box and we broadcast the show down the phone line.
[11:54] Yeah.
[11:55] Essentially from a hot-wired phone box.
[11:58] Wires coming out of a – we had our microphones, et cetera, but wires coming out of a phone box.
[12:04] And we're like, how's this going to sound?
[12:05] He's like, it should sound okay.
[12:07] Yeah.
[12:07] But it basically sounded like the whole show was on the phone.
[12:11] Like, of course it did.
[12:12] I never, I don't think I've ever heard it back.
[12:14] No, neither have I.
[12:14] But on the day it was like, oh, it's going to sound a bit scratchy.
[12:18] Yep.
[12:18] But then I've heard afterwards that people are like, yeah, you guys were on the phone for the whole show.
[12:23] Oh, my gosh.
[12:24] So what we're going to hear here is a bit, earlier that day we'd gone gold mining.
[12:28] Like, I remember that with that very old guy.
[12:31] Yes.
[12:31] I was about 100 years old and he was a prospector with a metal detector.
[12:35] We'd left a place called Southern Cross or something, I think.
[12:38] Possibly, yeah.
[12:39] Because that's where the old guy took us out to prospect.
[12:42] And so, yeah, we're in, then we're in Cockaboo.
[12:44] See, we might just call this show, if it's just unlistenable.
[12:47] Yeah.
[12:48] But I just want to hear how bad the audio was back.
[12:50] Great.
[12:52] The 5th of October, 2007.
[12:56] Pants off Friday, everybody.
[12:58] Hamish and Andy to drive you home on the Caravan of Courage.
[13:01] We are pantsless in Cocklebiddy.
[13:04] We are on the edge of the Nullarbor Plain in a town that has a population of eight.
[13:09] We're in the car park in front of the only building in town around about 1,400 kilometres out of Perth.
[13:14] We're closer to South Australia now.
[13:16] We will be trying to have a town meeting a little bit later on where we endeavour to get the entire town on the radio show.
[13:22] Look, apologies for the terrible reception.
[13:25] We're a long way away from anything.
[13:27] It's a bad line.
[13:28] We know we sound like an AM radio show.
[13:31] We're not going to go and speak like this.
[13:33] We've started our AM careers a lot earlier than we ever anticipated.
[13:36] But, Andy, it's exciting because...
[13:39] We were on the verge of becoming rich men.
[13:41] Well, Hamish, before we left, you were adamant that we'd be able to pay for this trip with the amount of gold you would find, and that's why you thought it was necessary to pack quite a clunky metal detector, which has sat and got in my way the entire trip so far.
[13:54] It's paying for itself now, because last night in Norseman, we heard about a local gold whisperer, a prospector, that could perhaps take me out gold hunting.
[14:03] His name was George.
[14:04] I believe he was about 75 years old.
[14:07] during the first gold rush.
[14:09] LAUGHTER He's about 300 now.
[14:12] He was in a town, I forget the name, but he was in a...
[14:16] I think it was Sedona?
[14:17] He was in a town... Tiguna?
[14:18] It was a long way away from Norsemanville.
[14:20] He tracked there because apparently he was going to take us to the golds.
[14:23] Where the gold bites, as he was.
[14:25] Anyway, this is us.
[14:26] As we pulled up to see George, he was about a million, and his wife was with him, and we'd organised to meet him at quarter past the hour.
[14:35] We were 16 past,
[14:37] And we met him and he was tapping his watch.
[14:40] It was a lovely bloke.
[14:41] This is us meeting George.
[14:43] Hamish was guaranteed that we'd be able to pay for our trip with the amount of gold he'd find in it.
[14:48] You think we can certainly find some gold?
[14:50] If you came out this morning early, you had a chance.
[14:54] Why in the early morning is it better to find gold than the afternoon?
[14:57] Detectors work better.
[14:59] Detectors work better in the morning?
[15:00] And you will.
[15:01] work yourself better it's a good point the early bird gets the gold as they say can you guarantee us a find of some description yeah tin and stuff like that tin we could sell him great I could sell tin George have you ever found any gold I lived on it for a couple of years you lived on finding gold yeah find a fair bit beer and everything yeah you found beer or you found gold and sold it for beer
[15:24] Sort of for beer, yeah.
[15:25] It's the gold rush, Ham.
[15:27] I dare say, Eureka.
[15:28] Let's do it.
[15:29] Eureka is right.
[15:30] I'm not saying you're a gold digger, George, but I guess I am, actually.
[15:34] Let's go.
[15:34] All right, we're set to go.
[15:36] Hamish is now putting on the gold detector.
[15:39] And, Ham, this is the first time in your life you are actually going for gold.
[15:43] Do you feel a bit like Cathy Freeman?
[15:45] George.
[15:46] George, I've got gold.
[15:49] We're between two trees and...
[15:54] That's pretty good.
[15:55] That's gold.
[15:56] That's gold.
[15:57] Gold digger.
[15:58] I'm going in here.
[15:59] Commence digging for gold, Andy.
[16:01] All right.
[16:01] Here we go.
[16:03] Just rake all the leaves off first.
[16:05] Rake all the leaves off first is the procedure.
[16:07] I'm raking ham.
[16:09] It sounds pretty good.
[16:10] Sounds good, doesn't it, George?
[16:11] Oh.
[16:12] It's in here.
[16:13] Shoot the pick.
[16:15] Sorry.
[16:15] Move the pick, Andy.
[16:18] It's in the dirt.
[16:20] George, we're so close to the gold.
[16:21] What?
[16:23] The gold is still in that little pile of dirt.
[16:25] All right, I'll pick up another handful.
[16:27] Not in that handful either.
[16:27] It's not in that handful.
[16:29] No.
[16:29] No, Andy.
[16:30] All right, go over our spot again.
[16:33] Oh, it's an old tin can.
[16:34] Piece of beer can.
[16:36] How much, George, how much would I expect to get for that?
[16:40] You'd get sweet bugger all.
[16:44] as they say in the old gold detecting game, George, tin again, begin again.
[16:50] Yeah, I don't think they do say that.
[16:51] They do say that.
[16:52] Do they say that?
[16:54] Yeah.
[16:55] I think George is just being a bit polite there.
[17:02] Tin again, begin again.
[17:03] Tin again, begin again.
[17:04] Yeah, I forgot about that.
[17:05] But I think we should reintroduce tin again, begin again.
[17:08] That was incredible because I suppose people are wondering why some of the audio sounds better and it's just us.
[17:13] We were broadcasting live in the bits.
[17:15] From the phone box.
[17:16] From the phone box.
[17:17] And then we were, obviously that was the bit that we'd recorded out with the old portable gear.
[17:20] Yeah, and probably being able to send it off before we travelled.
[17:25] Yeah.
[17:26] Would be my guess.
[17:26] We would have been able to beam it back the day, you know, at lunchtime or something.
[17:29] Awesome memory.
[17:30] I loved that trip so much.
[17:31] I can't believe it.
[17:32] Man, Cockabitty was such – I mean, that first trip too because we also had people following us.
[17:37] We had like, you know, 40 or 50 cars full of people that had just decided to come to the voyage.
[17:42] To join the trip.
[17:43] We didn't expect it.
[17:44] For the voyage as well.
[17:45] So I just remember like every night.
[17:48] A few beers.
[17:48] Oh.
[17:50] I mean, it was a young man's game.
[17:51] Wasn't it?
[17:52] Just 12 nights.
[17:52] Because we'd be up at six to drive.
[17:54] And also, Mike, which is funny about this original caravan trip was –
[17:58] We didn't think the show could hold over eight days on the road because we weren't sure how much stuff we would do and whether people would be interested in a trip that went for any longer.
[18:08] It does amaze me that people were tuning into the radio show to hear two guys out in the bush with this old man and just like, meow, meow, this golden tech.
[18:17] It's not a pleasant listen.
[18:19] Yeah.
[18:19] But it was such a fun adventure to kind of listen to through your radios.
[18:24] But we thought, oh, let's just do eight days worth.
[18:26] So I think we left on a Wednesday to arrive the Friday after and we drove so far.
[18:32] And then from then on… We drove 2,000 kilometres across the weekend.
[18:35] Yeah.
[18:35] To make up the distance.
[18:37] And so we then, the second trip and the consequences goes, hey, let's just not drive as far.
[18:42] Yeah.
[18:43] And make it go longer.
[18:44] And we might be slightly fresher and have more time to actually record things.
[18:49] That was a better option.
[18:50] And...
[18:51] I think you were all...
[18:53] I mean, we did split up the driving for a second, for a tiny bit.
[18:57] Oh, no, I didn't have my licence for the first bit.
[18:59] Then I got my licence in Victoria, got renewed.
[19:01] Yes.
[19:02] I got a replacement.
[19:03] So we started in Perth and I didn't have my licence.
[19:05] I forgot to bring it.
[19:06] So you drove us all the way across to Victoria.
[19:08] Yep.
[19:08] Then I got my licence in Benella.
[19:10] Benella, was it?
[19:11] Got my licence in Benella because that licence photo I had for a while and I was just like dirty on the caravan trip.
[19:16] And then...
[19:17] Shortly after that, I jackknifed the van and then you kicked me out of the driver's seat and I never drove again.
[19:22] It was quite a dangerous... Not that dangerous.
[19:25] It was pretty dangerous.
[19:26] Oh, mate, this is a slight jackknife.
[19:28] Jackknife at base.
[19:32] Great remembering.

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