# The Secret Song

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 25 Oct 2020, 20 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/y0zlxc4vkw0djod7kw2fo1p5.mp3

The boys learn that Andy’s Dad may have kissed Pete Hellier’s Mum and reflect on the time they attempted a very ambitious interactive phone topic with the help of a two thousand strong crowd at a live show. Hamish and Andy then discuss their ‘secret song’ performed live at their final show of the year in 2016, both wondering whether it should have remained a secret from the public rather than broadcast at all. Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 1, Episode 5.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's December 2nd.
[0:37] Okay, that's Andy's go then.
[0:38] Let's kick it off and find out what years Andy will take us back to and we'll see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:46] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:53] Late in the year one, Ham.
[0:54] Deep into the year.
[0:55] Surprise was still on air.
[0:56] Exactly.
[0:59] And I think for that reason, there's a little less normally.
[1:03] But shows in 2008, 2009, 2010, 2015 and 2016.
[1:05] Okay.
[1:06] In 2007...
[1:12] It had written on the running sheet, my dad may have kissed Peter Hellyer's mum.
[1:16] Your dad?
[1:17] Yeah.
[1:19] I don't remember us doing that.
[1:21] Interesting.
[1:23] Would that have been the year that back in the Rove days on TV there was a whole episode for Mother's Day?
[1:29] where our mums... Could have been around, man.
[1:31] Like, Rove's mum hosted, Pete and Husey's mum were on the panel and your dad would have been backstage.
[1:38] Yes.
[1:39] I don't think he did it then.
[1:41] But I'm trying to think of when would your dad have found Pete Hellier's mum?
[1:45] I think it was from yesteryear.
[1:48] Like, back in teacher's college type days.
[1:50] I thought it might have just been an accidental nice to meet you and they both went to the same side kind of thing.
[1:55] I didn't mean while our mums were out on set, he went, all right, here we go.
[2:00] Time for a bit of green room action.
[2:02] My dad can bounce.
[2:05] No, I suspect it was… They knew each other.
[2:07] They knew each other when they were younger.
[2:10] And I can't remember the break, but maybe if this day comes up again, we'll delve into it.
[2:14] I'm surprised that we don't remember that fact more.
[2:17] Yeah.
[2:18] Do you know?
[2:18] That's what surprised me.
[2:19] I remember us.
[2:20] I'm surprised I don't think of that every time I look at Pete Hellyer.
[2:22] I remember us ringing Pete.
[2:24] I think he would be a part of it to go, I think your mum has kissed my dad.
[2:28] Yeah.
[2:28] But that's the extent we'll get today.
[2:31] 2015 was a Hogs Inventions.
[2:33] What was it?
[2:34] The Shoe-A-Plenty.
[2:36] Different Velcro tops.
[2:37] Oh, boy.
[2:38] Yeah.
[2:39] Terrible, terrible, terrible.
[2:40] Yeah, okay.
[2:41] To give you shoe, like phone cases, basically.
[2:44] Just to give you different…
[2:46] That's a good analogy.
[2:47] Phone cases for your shoe.
[2:48] Different visible options for your shoe.
[2:52] Got two grabs today, if you'll allow me.
[2:54] Of course.
[2:55] I want to head to 2010.
[2:57] Okay.
[3:01] It's our thank you tour.
[3:03] Wow.
[3:04] Oh, it would have been too, yeah.
[3:05] So for people who don't know, when we finished up having five years on the radio, we did a thank you tour.
[3:11] We didn't want to call it a farewell tour because we knew we'd come back to radio at some point.
[3:14] We did have an inkling.
[3:15] But we were like, we're not going to be back for a while.
[3:17] Yeah.
[3:18] And it felt like the end of a chapter.
[3:20] And so it was more of a thank you to everyone that had participated.
[3:23] Yeah.
[3:23] And it was really fun.
[3:24] We did shows in… God, that was such a fun week.
[3:27] Yeah.
[3:28] Started in Perth for Monday.
[3:29] Yeah.
[3:29] Tuesday, Adelaide.
[3:30] We were in the middle of… The Wacker.
[3:32] Of the Wacker.
[3:34] Why were we in the middle of the Oval?
[3:35] It wasn't enough.
[3:36] It was like everyone was in the grass…
[3:38] Yeah, it was just because it was free entry.
[3:39] Anyone could come.
[3:40] That's what it was, yeah.
[3:41] And so we were like, I mean, we didn't expect the WACA to be full or anything.
[3:44] No, but we just needed a patch of grass, didn't we?
[3:47] And we were hopeful for a spot where that would be relevant to the whole of Australia when we're saying we're meeting here at the WACA.
[3:53] You're right.
[3:53] Obviously a cricket ground where everyone goes, oh, I know where that is.
[3:56] Yeah.
[3:56] Opposed to going, we are meeting at the corner of Oxford and Lenox Street.
[4:01] At the park, Brady's Park or something, which is a bit harder.
[4:05] Thompson's Reserve.
[4:08] So, Perth on the Monday.
[4:10] Adelaide were on the Tuesday.
[4:12] Brisbane on Wednesday.
[4:13] And Thursday, remember, it was absolutely pouring.
[4:18] We were meant to be outside of Fox Studios.
[4:20] Yep.
[4:20] And then we pivoted.
[4:22] Yep.
[4:22] We moved it inside to, I think, Horton Pavilion, was it?
[4:25] I think it was Horton Pavilion.
[4:27] And it was like a last minute.
[4:30] We didn't really understand.
[4:31] We were like, cool, move it.
[4:33] Everyone's like, yeah, that's big on the day.
[4:36] That's tough to move all the gear on the day.
[4:39] And they pulled it off.
[4:39] They pulled it off but it meant that there was a certain amount of people that already lined up to want to see the last show.
[4:44] They had to cap it because it's an inside venue to whatever it was, the 2000 or whatever was in there.
[4:49] In Excess played, which was super fun.
[4:52] Yeah.
[4:54] And I, you know, these are the things you kind of pinch yourself and hey, man, I side of stage listening to In Excess play.
[4:59] Yeah, that was wild.
[5:00] That's awesome.
[5:01] Dan Sultan, I think, was the front man for them.
[5:03] He was.
[5:04] He was.
[5:04] But that was not what I wanted to listen back to.
[5:07] I remember too, sorry, quickly, on that night I remember because my wife now, but girlfriend at the time, lived in Sydney.
[5:14] Yep.
[5:15] And so Zoe's apartment, because it was sort of like we would stay in Sydney that night, then go to Melbourne for the final show the next day.
[5:21] So I went and stayed in Zoe's, like at our place in Sydney, at the apartment in Sydney.
[5:25] And Brad Blanks, who was our US correspondent, was, he was there.
[5:31] He was in Australia.
[5:31] He came for that Sydney show because he came and had dinner with us.
[5:35] I just remember getting accidentally a bit drunk on the way.
[5:39] Which happens with Brad.
[5:40] On the way home from that Horton Pavilion show, getting like kind of rolling in.
[5:45] But it had been like such a high, that show, that I had to really have a moment where I went, hey, it's actually not over.
[5:49] Yeah, you've got one more to go.
[5:51] The week is not over.
[5:52] Haim...
[5:54] Remember we were trying – because we had a few thousand people, depending where we were around the country, they're watching us live.
[6:01] We were trying to think of different games we could play where a listener calling in on the radio, wherever they might be in their car, would have the power of the crowd in their hands.
[6:12] And I wanted to listen back to this one because I particularly remember the last caller making me laugh
[6:18] But the idea was you had to have a story which had an ooh at the start or a worry, but it had a great outcome, like a yay.
[6:29] Great.
[6:29] And I feel like the crowd really got involved.
[6:35] The 2nd of December, 2010.
[6:39] Guys, we want to use the excitement and also, I suppose, the devastation of the crowd, the appropriate response you have to any story, and give it to the power of someone just driving home at the moment, wherever they may be in the country.
[6:54] One thing that we've loved doing, Ando, this whole week of getting to do thank you tours around the country, or one thank you tour, but different thank you shows, is to have a whole crowd here of people that listen to the show and...
[7:05] connecting with the people that are listening through their radio.
[7:07] Of course.
[7:07] So everyone can thank together and sort of like a thank web or a chain or Meccano.
[7:13] Thank Kano, as will never be made, but it would be a great product to symbolise what we're talking about.
[7:18] Absolutely.
[7:19] Haim, on 131060 right now, wherever you may be...
[7:23] I'd like you to call up, if you're in a similar situation to me, where you've got a story that starts out pretty bad, to be honest, pretty bad, and then ends up being pretty good.
[7:33] Now, I want you guys to have the appropriate reaction, say an aw to the bad bit, and then maybe a hooray to the good bit.
[7:40] But I'll tell you my story.
[7:41] I'll share it right now.
[7:42] Well, we'd love that, Ando, because we're all friends.
[7:44] We'd love to hear your story.
[7:45] And thanks for having the guts to tell your story.
[7:47] Hey, it's a pleasure.
[7:47] It's a pleasure.
[7:49] Guys.
[7:50] What's up, Andy?
[7:51] Got a text message from a friend of mine.
[7:55] No, text messages are good.
[7:56] Why, why?
[7:58] Do you want us to do the beep, beep, beep, beep?
[8:01] No, no, just wait for the moment, guys.
[8:02] Don't go too early.
[8:03] Anyway, I got a text message from my brother, and he told me that the pub at the end of my street is closed down.
[8:11] Oh, so sorry.
[8:13] I know you loved going there for convenience and beers and stuff.
[8:17] For refurbishing.
[8:19] And it's going to be open.
[8:21] Yeah!
[8:22] Wow!
[8:22] And it's open in a couple of weeks.
[8:23] It's all cool, guys.
[8:24] That's great.
[8:25] Hey, Ando.
[8:26] Thanks.
[8:28] I, last night, found a mystery package outside my room.
[8:31] Did you?
[8:32] And I opened it up here on the tour.
[8:34] And it said, electronic drum machine inside.
[8:37] And I opened it up.
[8:40] There was an electronic drum machine in there.
[8:44] It was full of shoe horns.
[8:45] Woo!
[8:49] See, true story.
[8:51] That one's not true.
[8:54] 13, 10, 60, if you have a true one...
[8:56] They're knocking down the pub at Andy's Road for a shoehorn factory.
[9:01] 13, 10, 60, wherever you may be in Australia, give us a call right now.
[9:06] If your story starts out with a bit of sorrow and ends with pure bliss, Karen has done exactly that.
[9:13] Karen, where are you calling from?
[9:14] I'm calling from Melbourne.
[9:16] Melbourne.
[9:17] Karen, say hello to Sydney.
[9:19] Hi, Sydney.
[9:24] Thousands of cheers and one honk from the Vuvuzaya.
[9:27] Okay.
[9:27] Now, Karen, are you just... You're in your car, are you at home?
[9:32] Yes, I'm parked on the side of the road, being very safe.
[9:34] Good.
[9:34] Obviously, you've had this story in your head for some time and it's quite a rollercoaster story.
[9:38] Take it away, Karen.
[9:40] My backyard is flooded in knee-deep water.
[9:45] But now I've got a free slip and slide.
[9:50] Oh, thank you so much for coming with that silver lining because I was close to tears there.
[9:54] That was horrible.
[9:55] Thank you, Karen.
[9:56] Tracy, wrap this up for us, Tracy.
[9:59] Say hello to Sydney, Trace.
[10:01] Hi, Sydney.
[10:05] Oh, wow.
[10:06] Now, Tracy, run us through your story.
[10:09] Everyone's on the edge of where they're standing.
[10:12] Well, it's only just happened.
[10:14] I rang through on 131060 and I couldn't get through.
[10:20] And then I rang again and I'm through.
[10:24] I got through.
[10:25] I don't believe you.
[10:28] That is extraordinary.
[10:29] No, 20.
[10:29] That is extraordinary.
[10:31] I can't believe it.
[10:31] I know.
[10:32] Well, I mean, that is a tall tale.
[10:35] We have no way of checking, so I'm going to have to take your word for it.
[10:38] Thanks for the call.
[10:39] Thank you, Tracey.
[10:40] Stick around, everybody.
[10:42] So much more to come.
[10:43] It's Hamish, Danny, driving you home.
[10:44] Day four of the Thank You Tour.
[10:46] Thank you, Sydney.
[10:49] I don't know why I love that last call so much.
[10:51] It was great.
[10:52] I completely forgot about that.
[10:53] But gee, the vibe in that room was sky high.
[10:55] I think it was because everyone was wet as well because we'd been outside.
[10:59] So it was like a steam.
[11:00] It was like a steaming hot room because there was a lot of people packed in there.
[11:03] Yeah.
[11:04] And we had all been saturated recently.
[11:06] The one thing we should worth pointing out is you did give away shoe horns.
[11:12] I forgot the...
[11:13] I mean, shoehorn blitzes were one of my favourite things to do on the show, but I forgot the connection that it had with the audience.
[11:18] A lot of radio shows give away cash.
[11:20] No.
[11:21] Ours gave away shoehorns.
[11:22] Shoehorns, the most practical way.
[11:23] The thing that, you know, can bring so much joy to slipping on and off a shoe...
[11:27] To then, I forgot that just mentioning those two words together could elicit screams of euphoria.
[11:33] I forgot the power of the shoehorn.
[11:36] Second December, of course, was the second last show of our year.
[11:40] We just heard it 2010.
[11:43] It was the last show of the year in 2016.
[11:46] Yeah.
[11:48] And it was the end of our tour in our band Cool Boys and the Front Men.
[11:54] What a time.
[11:55] Where you were on electronic drums.
[11:58] Jack was on slow guitar.
[12:00] Years earlier, I'd received the box full of shoe on.
[12:02] Yeah.
[12:04] Electronic drums, Jack on slow guitar with zero stage presence.
[12:06] I was on bagpipes.
[12:11] Oh, is this our long way to the top?
[12:12] Yeah, this was Byron Bay.
[12:14] This is where we ended the beach hotel.
[12:15] We had a rotating front person.
[12:16] Guy Sebastian had joined us.
[12:18] We're at the Byron Bay Hotel.
[12:20] Guy Sebastian was our front person.
[12:22] This was the one, you know, all our trips were fun.
[12:25] So I'm hesitant to say the funnest trip of all time, but it's got a claim to the title.
[12:29] Yeah.
[12:30] Andy driving the tour bus, the ridiculousness of getting to live like rock stars and really believing it and playing one cover a night per gig.
[12:41] To adoring crowds.
[12:42] To just crowds that went bananas no matter what.
[12:44] No matter what, yeah, because it was like the harder you cheered, the funnier it was and no correlation to the quality of the music.
[12:50] Mm-hmm.
[12:50] It was just so much fun to be on that tour.
[12:54] I think I just wore board shorts too the whole week.
[12:56] Yep.
[12:57] And 2016, yeah.
[12:58] So like I had a young kid at home and possibly a pregnant wife by this stage.
[13:03] So just a real feeling of I'm off the leash.
[13:06] I'm on the bus.
[13:07] We had bolted beer.
[13:09] We had tapped into the bus.
[13:10] We had a bar on the bus.
[13:11] We had a bar in the bus.
[13:12] Yep.
[13:13] It was incredible as we drove from Melbourne up the bar.
[13:15] It was good, Mikey.
[13:16] It was real good.
[13:17] Hey, you say we played one cover a night.
[13:22] We didn't.
[13:22] Yeah, you're right.
[13:24] And I'd forgotten this.
[13:25] I always remember it as, yeah, we played one song.
[13:27] It was our whole thing.
[13:27] We played one song a gig.
[13:29] But there was actually a secret song.
[13:33] Let's do the unsecret sponsorship stuff before we go to the secret song.
[13:40] Yeah, the secret song.
[13:41] Yeah.
[13:42] The rules of our band was it needed to have drums, guitar and trumpet, essentially, originally.
[13:48] The bagpipe subbed out for one song, but we were still looking for famous songs that had guitar, drums and trumpet.
[13:56] Before we hear the secret song break, here's my recollection of the secret song.
[14:01] I would say by and large through that whole journey of starting Cool Boys and the Front Man, all the ins and outs, you know, me being accused of having bosoms.
[14:13] Zero rhythm.
[14:13] Oh, sorry.
[14:14] LAUGHTER
[14:16] Both inaccurate accusations.
[14:18] I had a soft lapel on my leather jacket that when I played, it gave the impression of a bosom wobbling, but it was an optical illusion.
[14:26] And, you know, of course I could have just got a stiffer lapel jacket, but that would be giving in to the bullies, Mike, and you don't do that.
[14:36] And, you know, bringing new and interesting rhythms to the bed.
[14:38] Like, I think everything that we thought was funny in the room,
[14:42] when we were rehearsing and stuff, then we'd take it to air and it would kind of connect.
[14:46] Without wanting to sound arrogant, I think mostly what we were finding funny was connecting with the audience and it was this really fun build of this crazy adventure at the end of the show.
[14:57] And the secret song, which we would play after every rehearsal just for us and we liked playing it in the studio...
[15:05] I think we loved that so much.
[15:08] We loved playing the secret song so much.
[15:11] We loved it so much.
[15:13] We just laughed and laughed when we played it.
[15:15] We just thought it was so funny to be playing this.
[15:17] It was Little Spanish Flea.
[15:18] I remember.
[15:19] And then I think when we were like, yeah, we've been loving this so much.
[15:24] Now it's time to bring it to the audience.
[15:26] I don't remember it connecting.
[15:28] No, I'm with you.
[15:29] I remember going to leave everybody with this.
[15:32] That might have been better to just be for us.
[15:36] I agree.
[15:37] We're going to hear it now and we'll decide whether we want to come back and chat after it.
[15:41] Yeah, because I'll only come back if I'm wrong and, in fact, it sounds like the crowd loved it.
[15:49] I think they politely endured it.
[15:50] Agreed.
[15:51] And I think that's the perfect way to end today's episode of The Remembering.
[15:54] Nice remembering.
[15:57] The 2nd of December 2016.
[16:01] At every gig, Hammers, we are cool boys in the front, man.
[16:04] Cackling Jack on guitar.
[16:07] Hamish on electronic drums.
[16:09] Myself on bagpipes.
[16:10] Thank you very much.
[16:10] Keep drumming.
[16:11] We should thank our hidden agenda.
[16:14] Do we dare say his name?
[16:16] Let's do it.
[16:16] Do you know what?
[16:17] It's a special treat.
[16:19] He's toured with us all week and played behind a screen because he's better than us at music and we don't want him stealing any of the kudos.
[16:25] But because this is just such a beautiful crowd and we're feeling the love here in Byron today, heck, why don't we name him, Ando?
[16:31] Owen.
[16:32] Thanks, Owen.
[16:33] Round of applause for Owen.
[16:36] To the Temper Trap for supporting us.
[16:39] The guy Sebastian for also supporting us and being our front band.
[16:42] Shannon Noel, the Veronicas, the Wiggles who came out.
[16:46] But mainly to everyone who's listening in their cars across Australia and to you guys right here.
[16:51] Thank you, guys.
[16:53] And to everyone that's podcasted the show, to everyone that normally listens and isn't today because they're busy, you know, when you hear this maybe later on a recording, thank you.
[17:05] So the reason why we had a secret song was it occurred to us, what if someone didn't make it?
[17:11] What if Guy got ill?
[17:12] Yeah.
[17:13] You know?
[17:13] What would we do?
[17:14] We need a song that doesn't require vocals.
[17:16] But we also need a song that's a classic.
[17:19] Yep.
[17:19] That everyone loves to dance to.
[17:22] Yep.
[17:23] That so many people have as both their wedding and funeral song because it's such a powerful piece of music that so many people include in their lives.
[17:32] We needed a song that only had trumpet, drums and guitar.
[17:37] And we found one.
[17:38] We found it.
[17:38] And you'll kick yourselves and we start playing it, and then you'll headbang probably for the rest of the night.
[17:43] Guys, it's our honour to leave 2016 on this note as we head into 2017, which will be a year to remember for sure.
[17:53] Can I just start off the gig and the song with a drumstick throw?
[18:00] Unconventional pre-gig drum stick.
[18:03] But I realised I had way too many sets of sticks on stage.
[18:07] I'm down to my last two.
[18:08] Guys, you ready to rock?
[18:09] Hey, can I just say boys?
[18:10] I am.
[18:11] You realise if you now lose a stick during this song...
[18:14] I understand what I've done.
[18:16] As they were in midair, I knew what had happened.
[18:19] Hey, guys, can I just say, I know this is not what we do in the band, but it's been a great week.
[18:25] Wow, thank you.
[18:25] Wow, that's kind of a compliment.
[18:28] I mean, I've got some improvements.
[18:31] Take it away.
[18:31] Guys, let's rock.
[19:39] Aaron, thanks for the amazing year!
[19:42] See you next year!

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