# It’s Amazing That Tom Cruise Bothers

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 14 Dec 2020, 19 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/dhnng1otzynmj3w2kr3m3gyk.mp3

Hamish & Andy remember how they got on actor Colin Firth’s good side, and the incredible interview preparation that Tom Cruise must have done before they spoke to him. The boys also talk about a time they had to make a formal apology to a client after explaining on air how easy it is to steal from them. They also listen back to a time way back in 2007 when a listener agreed to let them look after their kids for a weekend. Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 1, Episode 20.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 9th of July.
[0:36] OK, that's Andy's go then.
[0:38] Let's kick it off and find out what years Andy will take us back to and we'll see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:46] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:53] My go, Ham.
[0:56] And the 9th of July, we have a bit to choose from.
[1:00] Yeah, great.
[1:02] I'm going to start with 2008, Meryl Streep and Colin Firth were on for Mamma Mia.
[1:09] Jeepers.
[1:09] I remember that.
[1:10] Do you remember we were in... We had to go and interview them.
[1:13] Of course, that level of celebrity, we would go to them.
[1:15] They would never come to you.
[1:16] And then I think it was one of the only interviews that we've ever had where there was given lighting instructions.
[1:23] We had to hire.
[1:25] Yeah, but that was for Rove, I think.
[1:26] Remember that it was for Meryl going on Rove.
[1:28] That's right.
[1:29] But we were on the same set.
[1:30] Yes, okay.
[1:31] So a lighter was there.
[1:32] Someone there lighted it all.
[1:34] Streep kept us waiting.
[1:36] So you and I were left with Firth.
[1:38] For a while.
[1:39] Were we?
[1:40] I bet we would have tried to talk to him about the first time we met him at Cannes.
[1:44] And we did and he got excited about it.
[1:47] That's why I remember it because I was like he was sitting there.
[1:49] He may have probably spent some time waiting around.
[1:52] Because if you imagine Colin Firth, Mike, you've experienced him on screen.
[1:57] Yes.
[1:57] Can you imagine him being a kind of a slightly low energy, maybe, you know, just a quiet guy.
[2:04] Just sort of sitting there.
[2:06] Possibly not wrapped to – because remember, when you do a publicity junket, you have to do it.
[2:12] That's not a choice.
[2:13] They don't finish the film and go, would anybody like to do publicity?
[2:17] No, no.
[2:17] They finish the film and they tell you, guess what?
[2:20] Yeah.
[2:20] You know how we gave you $10 million?
[2:22] Yep.
[2:22] A lot of that is because you've got to go and do four days in Australia
[2:26] two in Japan, one in Canada, and nine in Europe.
[2:29] And then they say, hang on, didn't my manager strike out Canada?
[2:33] And they said he tried to.
[2:34] We grabbed his hand.
[2:35] We've got the contract right.
[2:36] We grabbed his wrist and snapped the pen.
[2:38] So that's – but they do a great job.
[2:41] I mean, I'm not – but you understand like it's a slog for them.
[2:45] So what you generally get from celebrities is any – there's definitely a category of celebrity where if there's some down times,
[2:51] they will take it like you're on a train where you're just quietly recharging your batteries.
[2:55] And my memory of it is not that he thinks any less of your Bridget Jones's diaries or your Mamma Mia's, but they're good family fun.
[3:03] Yeah.
[3:04] And for us to bring up a film that we'd seen in Cannes that was the first time we'd met him when we interviewed him there when we were in early 20s.
[3:12] He really, I think he really loved that film.
[3:14] I think he did.
[3:15] He was super proud of the film and kind of loved that we loved the film.
[3:18] I think we talked about it before, Where the Truth Lies.
[3:20] Yeah.
[3:20] Which is, you know, it's a really kind of obscure film.
[3:23] But it was essentially him and Kevin Bacon.
[3:25] As a double act.
[3:26] As a double act.
[3:26] So we were like, well, we're like a double act.
[3:29] And we kind of, we identify with, not the killing the person.
[3:33] No, no, not that.
[3:33] Not the bit where you accidentally kill the stripper.
[3:35] But we like the cover-ups.
[3:37] But we like a loophole or a scam as much as anyone else.
[3:40] And so then we were sort of like, oh, it was a really interesting film.
[3:43] And then, yeah, he really came to life.
[3:44] It's great.
[3:45] I'll tell you what, if you ever bump into Colin Firth, mention the film Where the Truth Lies and he'll pep right up.
[3:51] So talking about female star, male star combos, it was also on July 9th, 2010, Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz double.
[4:02] And do you remember this?
[4:03] No.
[4:03] This was a fascinating day as well.
[4:05] They did it together?
[4:06] Yeah.
[4:07] And we did – this was – I think we broke our rule that we had after Edward Norton, which was we would never do a Saturday again.
[4:15] You would for cruiser DS.
[4:17] We did come in on the weekend.
[4:18] Yeah.
[4:19] I had met Tom before because I went with hogs, took hogs to Korea.
[4:25] I couldn't go to Korea.
[4:25] I had a mate's wedding.
[4:26] Yeah.
[4:27] And then there was a junket in South Korea and you went for Tom Cruise.
[4:31] Yeah.
[4:32] So this time we said to Sam, our producer, don't bother coming in.
[4:37] We'll take the call, right?
[4:39] You know how to run the desk.
[4:41] The call comes through and we say, hello, Hamish and Andy show.
[4:45] He said, Andy, is that you?
[4:47] And I said, yes.
[4:48] And he said, what are you doing taking your own calls?
[4:50] And I said, what are you doing making your own calls?
[4:52] Because Tom had just rung from his holiday house.
[4:55] And then I introduced him.
[4:56] Compound probably.
[4:57] Holiday house makes it sound like it's a shack.
[4:59] But then he said, how's Hawks?
[5:02] He does that, doesn't he, though?
[5:03] He's famous for pre-researching.
[5:06] He's famous for coming into an interview knowing stuff about what you've done.
[5:10] It certainly wowed us.
[5:11] Now, we all know now that someone has given him a sheet of paper or something.
[5:15] It's a slick operation.
[5:16] But then any time we've spoken to him since, he'll come in and he'll have a fact about you.
[5:21] Yeah.
[5:22] And I don't know, it is impressive and it makes people fall for him because people like hearing about themselves.
[5:26] Absolutely.
[5:27] But… In Korea, he said to me, hey, and you just finished the lawn pier to pub swim.
[5:32] And I'm like…
[5:35] Did you tell him you had an argument with the timing bracelet?
[5:39] I didn't tell him that.
[5:40] Andy came in last on that swim.
[5:41] Did you hear that?
[5:43] It's just a really obscure fact.
[5:45] Like, it's not like, hey, how's your radio show done?
[5:48] Yeah, I think it's – but I actually think it serves a double purpose.
[5:50] I think it's just sort of to stabilize you a bit because I think –
[5:53] you know, he's got to be on guard to go, what if someone just comes in firing from the hip about Scientology or, you know, any of the things that he wouldn't be keen to talk about?
[6:02] I wonder if it's an interesting tactic just to go, oh, jeez, if I hit someone going, now, didn't your uncle just sell his car dealership?
[6:09] Like, oh, so does he know about Kev?
[6:12] Might be a reason.
[6:13] Like, so you just suddenly forget that you, maybe it humanises him a bit, because he's like, oh, jeez, he knows something personal about me.
[6:20] Maybe I do feel bad asking him very personal questions.
[6:24] Then Cameron Diaz called in as well, making her own call.
[6:28] And she was at her sister's in the Bahamas, I think, from memory.
[6:32] And we were like… This is how you do a jump.
[6:33] Because the strange thing was Haim and I then, we connected them.
[6:38] And she's like, hey, Tom.
[6:39] Hey, Cam.
[6:39] How are you going?
[6:40] And they start having this conversation.
[6:42] And we can't really jump in.
[6:43] We're not recording anything.
[6:45] But we just started listening to two really huge stars…
[6:49] Talk about what's going on.
[6:50] And she's like, yeah, I met my sister's.
[6:52] The kids are here.
[6:52] And then Tom.
[6:53] And so we just kind of stood by and went, okay, is it okay if we now do the interview?
[6:59] Hi, Tom and Cameron.
[7:01] I thought it was interesting in the film that you jumped off so many things.
[7:06] Did you ever hurt your knees?
[7:07] Yeah.
[7:09] So that one did… It was for… Do you know the film?
[7:14] Day and Night.
[7:15] I want to say Day and Night.
[7:16] No, I haven't heard of it.
[7:17] It wasn't a bad film.
[7:18] It was like basically an action comedy.
[7:22] Yeah.
[7:23] It did its job.
[7:24] Day and Night.
[7:25] Yeah, I think his name was someone day and hers was like… It was like Captain Kim.
[7:28] Mrs.
[7:31] It's actually night and day.
[7:33] I just looked it up.
[7:34] God, we're close.
[7:35] Just in future, Mike, if you're going to slam the brakes on, it's going to need to be a cleaner correction than that.
[7:42] I'm going to rip by this, but I just saw in 2009, I think it proves how much times have changed.
[7:48] It said, story about Prince Harry pinching Natalie Imbruglia on the bum.
[7:52] Times have changed.
[7:53] Okay, times have definitely changed.
[7:55] You've got to remember, 11 years ago, Prince Harry content was like nude in Vegas.
[8:00] Yep.
[8:01] Pinching people on the bum.
[8:02] Yep.
[8:02] It was a bad boy.
[8:03] It was a bad boy.
[8:04] And people love it.
[8:06] 2007 is where I want to go because this one struck me as, wow, I can't believe a family agreed to do this.
[8:14] What did they do?
[8:16] There was a mum called Carolyn Webster who offered us something.
[8:21] Oh, is this when we got to be dads?
[8:22] Yeah.
[8:23] Now, let's do the old sponsorship bit.
[8:25] Great.
[8:26] And then we'll head back there.
[8:28] Okay.
[8:29] Well, I remember we did this for Rove, Hamish and Andy and your dads.
[8:32] From memory, we went across a full weekend with the kids or a couple of nights.
[8:36] Yeah, it was certainly more than – it was certainly a couple of nights.
[8:40] I am amazed someone did let us do this with their kids.
[8:43] So we – Well, I'm actually not – I am and I'm not.
[8:46] When I first had kids, I was like, I can't believe we were allowed to look after those two girls.
[8:50] Mm-hmm.
[8:50] Just as two guys off the radio and their parents were fine with it.
[8:53] Yeah.
[8:53] Then I remembered they were about two and six or three and six kind of thing.
[8:57] Maybe three and seven.
[8:59] I reckon.
[8:59] And Lucy and Sarah, was that their names?
[9:02] And now that I've got kids almost that exact same age and their nanny, they had a nanny as well that helped out the family and she was nearby.
[9:10] Yes.
[9:10] So she was off camera nearby.
[9:12] That's one thing.
[9:12] That's the missing link.
[9:13] We never talked about that on air.
[9:15] We probably should have.
[9:16] We probably should have talked about that because there would have been people going, this is very unsafe.
[9:19] Yes.
[9:20] So what we did was they had their nanny who was going to be there and not as in sitting at the table with us, but if any of them had a freak out, it was obviously our responsibility to make sure someone was there to take care of them.
[9:34] Totally.
[9:35] And just have a friendly face in town.
[9:37] And we said to the parents, we'll put you up at a hotel for two nights.
[9:40] Now that I've got a three and a seven-year-old, if they're like, the kids are going to be having fun, these guys are fine, there'll be a nanny there, you can go to the hotel for two nights,
[9:48] Yeah.
[9:49] I'll take that deal.
[9:51] I'll take that deal all day long.
[9:54] So you and I became dads.
[9:57] This was the day where Caroline Webster rang the show and is offering her kids.
[10:04] 2007 was this?
[10:05] 2007.
[10:06] So I'd be 26, you'd be 25 I think.
[10:09] Some seven years before actually becoming a dad.
[10:11] So I wonder if any of my initial vibes turned out to be an actual parenting strategy.
[10:18] The 9th of July, 2007.
[10:20] Hamish and Andy for the drive home.
[10:24] Thanking you, Blockbuster, for real entertainment.
[10:26] Hamish shaking his head.
[10:28] This has got too real too quickly.
[10:31] First time listeners, first of all, welcome.
[10:33] Hi, welcome.
[10:34] But only half an hour ago, Hamish, you revealed that...
[10:38] Our girlfriends were both questioning whether we'd be good parents at all.
[10:43] The challenge was then laid by our producer here, suggesting that if he could find parents that are willing to let us have their kids... Would we look after them until Friday?
[10:51] Well, it started off with us looking after one of those dolls, those real baby dolls, which I would have been happy to do.
[10:55] That's fine.
[10:56] But now that it's actually real-life children...
[11:01] What if something, you know, what do you do with kids?
[11:04] I think that's the biggest thing in my head.
[11:05] What are you meant to do?
[11:06] You've got a tiny human.
[11:07] You need to feed it.
[11:09] How often do you clean it?
[11:10] What does it want to eat?
[11:10] What does it want to watch?
[11:12] I think that's why your girlfriend said you'd be the worst father in the world.
[11:15] I mean... Those most mere questions.
[11:17] Just...
[11:18] Thank you for all your calls here to the studio.
[11:20] Andy.
[11:20] All your emails coming in suggesting your kids up.
[11:23] It's incredible.
[11:24] Never have I seen so many emails from mums and dads in their 30s, 40s and 50s.
[11:28] So many capital letters.
[11:29] So many exclamation marks.
[11:30] Take my children, please.
[11:33] I didn't think we'd get one volunteer.
[11:34] We even had kids going, yeah, mum and dad need a break.
[11:37] Like, we can be a handful.
[11:38] It's hundreds, hundreds have come into the email.
[11:41] Look, Caroline has been found.
[11:43] Sam, our producer, suggests that she's perfect.
[11:45] She has two kids, which fits the bill.
[11:47] We're one of the both under 10.
[11:48] Caroline joins us on the line.
[11:50] How are you, Caroline?
[11:51] I'm well, thanks.
[11:52] Caroline, now, first of all, thanks so much for being part of the show.
[11:57] and so far, you know, maybe being part of this experiment, are you sure that you would give us your kids till Friday to look after and be their dads till Friday?
[12:08] Yeah.
[12:08] Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with that.
[12:10] Now, okay, that's a shock first.
[12:14] Now, Carolyn, how old are your kids?
[12:17] I have two daughters.
[12:19] Yeah.
[12:20] They're four and eight.
[12:21] Oh, four and seven and a half, sorry.
[12:22] Four and seven and a half.
[12:23] Four and seven and a half.
[12:24] What are their names, Carolyn?
[12:25] Sarah, the eldest, and Lucy.
[12:28] Sarah and Lucy, right.
[12:30] So that makes Lucy probably in kindy then at four and a half.
[12:35] Sarah, I don't know, you're five?
[12:37] Mate, you're two.
[12:39] Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
[12:41] That's fine.
[12:42] Don't worry, Carolyn, I'll be a lot more attentive than that if it comes to medicines or something.
[12:46] I'm glad to hear that.
[12:47] Carolyn, so the rules here that, you know, for Annie and I to do this properly and prove to our girlfriends that we can be dads, it will mean that you won't get to see the kids till Friday.
[12:55] Are you all right with that?
[12:57] I'm fine with that, especially considering we're moving into the second week of the school holidays.
[13:02] And you've had enough?
[13:03] Yeah.
[13:04] Well, now, like prison, we've decided to, maybe the rule should be that the kids get one phone call a day and that will be on the show to their parents.
[13:12] Would you be happy to make yourself available between the hours of four to six daily?
[13:15] Yes, yes, I could manage that.
[13:17] Okay.
[13:18] Now, Carolyn, if we, you know, put you up for a bit in a hotel, can we come and live in your house?
[13:24] Um, yeah, that's fine.
[13:27] Well, and since we're dads... We're ticking a lot of boxes.
[13:30] We'll have to, um... We'll probably have to sleep in the marital bed.
[13:32] Is that OK?
[13:33] We'll top and tail...
[13:35] Um, look, what you guys, where you guys want to sleep is up to you.
[13:39] Okay.
[13:39] Um, um, won't be going there.
[13:42] Okay.
[13:42] Fair enough, Carolyn.
[13:44] Now your husband is across this.
[13:45] There's a lot of boxes we have to tick here.
[13:47] Beg your pardon?
[13:48] Your husband's across this.
[13:49] He knows what's going on?
[13:50] Yes, he does.
[13:51] Okay.
[13:52] Fantastic.
[13:52] So they're four and seven.
[13:54] What are their curfews if they're out with friends?
[13:56] No, Hayme.
[13:58] No.
[13:59] Okay.
[14:00] You wouldn't send a four-year-and-a-half-year-old out with her friends.
[14:02] So we're really looking after them, like, all the time.
[14:05] Yes.
[14:06] That's the point.
[14:06] And the four-year-old can walk and stuff?
[14:09] Yes, Hayme.
[14:10] I don't know what age they do that.
[14:12] So they can walk and talk?
[14:13] Yes, they do all those things.
[14:15] Do they run around a lot or are they gentle kids?
[14:17] They do indeed.
[14:18] They're not into sitting down quietly?
[14:21] No.
[14:23] You don't happen to know... Not sitting down, but quietly, perhaps.
[14:26] Okay, have they got any allergies?
[14:28] Here's the questions I want to ask.
[14:29] Any allergies?
[14:30] No, allergy-free.
[14:31] That's pretty good.
[14:33] Have they both had chicken pox?
[14:35] Oh, no.
[14:36] Only one has.
[14:37] Have you had the chicken pox, Andy?
[14:38] Yeah, I've had it.
[14:39] I have, so I'm fine.
[14:40] I'm immune.
[14:41] I think we're good there.
[14:42] Have they watched any of The West Wing?
[14:44] No.
[14:46] No.
[14:47] Right, because I've got the box set, so there is about 12 hours taken care of.
[14:52] Look, we need some tips on the phones so people that were offering up their kids can still help us at hamishnady.com.au or on 13 10 60.
[15:00] But can I ask you this, Carolyn?
[15:01] Tomorrow at 4.50, could you come into the studio and do an official handover knowing that you won't see your kids till Friday?
[15:09] That I can do.
[15:10] That I can do.
[15:11] You've got a three-minute cooling-off period.
[15:15] Carolyn, we know it's a big step.
[15:16] Don't you worry.
[15:16] I'll be a terrific dad.
[15:18] Andy, not so much, but I'll keep him away from the kids.
[15:20] They'll have a great time.
[15:21] We've got to go.
[15:21] So much I want to teach them as their new dad.
[15:23] We'll hear from you tomorrow, Carolyn.
[15:25] We've got to go to the news headlines after this.
[15:27] I guess we need some tips and just some ideas of what the hell to do with kids.
[15:31] You're with Hamish and Andy.
[15:34] Sweet naivety.
[15:35] You know that bit where I go, right, what time do they get a bench?
[15:38] She goes, no, no, no, you know.
[15:39] You've got to be on them all the time.
[15:41] And they go, oh, right.
[15:41] So you've really got to look after them all the time.
[15:44] Remember having that thought for real?
[15:46] Like night one in 2014 when Sonny was – we brought him back from the hospital, my first child.
[15:53] And, you know, he's crying at 3 o'clock in the morning and you go,
[15:56] Oh, you've really got to look after them all the time.
[16:00] They, when they wake up, when they say they were awake every two hours, that's not just nine to five.
[16:06] That's two hours.
[16:07] That's two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve.
[16:11] I looked up what day July the 9th was.
[16:13] It was a Monday.
[16:14] So we must have got them on a Tuesday.
[16:16] Yeah, okay, Tuesday to Friday.
[16:17] Tuesday to Friday.
[16:18] Okay.
[16:19] And the other, I mean, which is incredible.
[16:23] The other incredible part was the show was thanks to Blockbuster.
[16:25] That was amazing.
[16:26] Thanks to Blockbuster Entertainment.
[16:29] Didn't we have an issue with Blockbuster?
[16:31] Didn't we?
[16:32] We had to apologize to Blockbuster.
[16:34] What for?
[16:34] I can't remember.
[16:35] But don't you remember?
[16:37] At our very – at the first radio station we broadcast from in St Kilda Road in Melbourne, we changed studios sort of halfway through our tenure on drive.
[16:48] I remember going out to the rooftop where there was like a table set up, sort of like a nice rooftop area, world famous Fox rooftop.
[16:55] But when it wasn't hosting bands, you could also apologise to sponsors out there.
[17:01] And I remember meeting the people from Blockbuster and saying sorry about all that, we've –
[17:05] You know what it was?
[17:06] I don't remember it.
[17:07] You know what it was?
[17:08] It was probably during this time too because it was really early on in radio.
[17:11] Yeah.
[17:11] And my housemate John and I, we'd hired a DVD.
[17:18] Yes.
[17:18] We'd hired a DVD and hadn't taken a new release back for like weeks.
[17:22] And so the late fee in those days was new releases were $7 a night and the late fee was that amount of nights.
[17:28] And we'd had it for about 50 nights.
[17:29] So it was like $350 in late fees or something.
[17:32] So an insane amount of money.
[17:35] And we came up with an idea to sneak the DVD back into the store, the video store, then call them up and go, hey, just got this letter.
[17:46] I returned that.
[17:47] Yeah.
[17:48] And then go, you must not have scanned it back in properly.
[17:50] And the way we did it was I had a big,
[17:53] like a jacket, like a duffel coat, and I lined my pockets with foil so we could take the DVD back in the store and the beeper gates wouldn't go off.
[18:00] So I had like triple layers of foil around the DVD, got down to where they were and put it back on the shelf like it was in that system where you had the cover of the DVD on the front and then you rented the one behind it with the disc in it.
[18:13] So I just got it back on the shelf and…
[18:15] and kind of left the store like, oh, I'm not really vibing it tonight, mate, not thinking of anything.
[18:19] And John distracted the – we recorded it too.
[18:20] Like John was distracting the guy.
[18:21] We thought it was like a hilarious way to get out of the – get out of the fine.
[18:25] Called the store up.
[18:26] No, you know, check the shelf because I reckon I'll return that.
[18:29] And oh, no, yeah, we found it on the shelf.
[18:32] So that took off it and we like – We're celebrating.
[18:34] Do you remember what DVD it was?
[18:36] I can't remember what DVD it was, but I remember it was a new release and we were just celebrating.
[18:39] We were celebrating hard.
[18:40] And then we had someone come in and go, what are you guys doing?
[18:43] Like Blockbuster are the sponsor.
[18:45] And you just did a whole segment on how to change the system.
[18:51] Oh, right.
[18:51] The blockbuster hear it, did they?
[18:52] Yeah, they did.
[18:53] They're not happy.
[18:54] Prepare the apology rooftop.
[18:56] Yeah.
[18:57] Okay, well, go and sweep away any of the wristbands from the pink rooftop and we'll meet them out there and we'll say sorry.

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