# Staking Out Bob Panic’s House

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 25 Apr 2021, 20 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/sps9beucbgnh8oa8rqw709up.mp3

Hamish & Andy remember the extremely fast & loose way that Hame started the year off in 2008, and the inappropriate request they put forward to the Australian Government regarding Kevin Rudd’s son. The boys reminisce about the ‘Ideas Bonanza’ and listener Bob Panic who was put in charge of answering all incoming calls to the Bonanza hotline. There was also a competition the show ran involving V8 supercars and Sambuca and how, unsurprisingly, they ran into legal troubles. However the break they listen back to is another one of Horgs’ inventions which involved gambling! Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 2, Episode 3.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike Wurst here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's March 17th.
[0:37] Okay, then.
[0:38] It's Hamish go.
[0:39] Let's kick this off and find out what years Ham will take us back to and see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:47] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:53] Alrighty, Ando.
[0:55] March 17th.
[0:58] The interesting thing about doing this podcast is you think about, as we've discussed, what time of the year was that?
[1:03] Yes.
[1:04] And you march, you're into it.
[1:07] You've got no choice.
[1:07] You should be cracking on with the year.
[1:09] Yeah.
[1:09] We generally... We found we've got a feel for things kind of through Feb. Yeah.
[1:14] You loosen up around Feb. And hopefully we had a strong idea in March.
[1:18] And I remember...
[1:18] The reason I bring that up is one year in particular... Yeah.
[1:21] And it was 2008.
[1:23] So when did we start the Drive show?
[1:24] 2007?
[1:25] Six, right.
[1:26] Yeah, so this makes sense.
[1:28] So 2006 we started the Drive show, we're finding our feet.
[1:31] 2007, I think we found them.
[1:32] 2007 was like a big year on the show.
[1:34] Yep.
[1:35] And the show went national and it had enjoyed some success.
[1:39] And so do you remember coming back 2008, it was a bit of a like, well, guys, you know, what are you doing?
[1:44] Like, will you come back, you know, you had some good ideas last year.
[1:48] There's momentum.
[1:49] What are you doing?
[1:50] What are you doing?
[1:52] I'll be honest with you, I think I flew around the world at the end of 2007.
[1:57] I think that was the year that I went with Ryan, our mate.
[2:01] Yes.
[2:02] The day the show finished.
[2:04] Yeah.
[2:04] We went straight to the airport, flew around the world for six weeks and I landed the morning of our first show back.
[2:10] Yeah.
[2:11] You cut it a bit tight.
[2:12] I was delayed one day because I had food poisoning in LA on the way home and then I landed on the morning we were doing our first show.
[2:20] Yes.
[2:21] So when we got back in and our producer Sam was like, all right, guys, you know, it's been six weeks.
[2:24] What are you thinking?
[2:25] What have you got?
[2:26] What have you got?
[2:28] Food poisoning.
[2:29] I've got empty guts and a high level of Gatorade in my system.
[2:32] So...
[2:33] The reason I bring that up is do you remember what we did?
[2:35] We were like, okay, first time in our careers really we'd ever gone, what's going on?
[2:39] My worry is this has to do with the government and Kevin Rudd.
[2:44] No, no, it wasn't that.
[2:46] I thought that was a bit of a stinker.
[2:47] That was a bad idea.
[2:48] The idea's bonanza.
[2:49] Oh, that's this.
[2:50] That's it.
[2:51] Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
[2:52] I thought you were talking about the time we wanted to babysit his kid, Kevin Rudd's child.
[2:56] I don't even remember that.
[2:57] Probably a bit inappropriate.
[2:58] Yeah, there was some story about when Kevin Rudd's son is like, he was like 14 and there was a story in the paper that was like, oh, you know, he has...
[3:09] Help.
[3:09] Or there's like a house.
[3:10] Like when the kid gets home from school, there's like someone there to be in the house.
[3:13] Yeah, right.
[3:14] Then the paper blew it up to be like, he's got a nanny.
[3:16] Like, you know, he's 14, he's got a nanny.
[3:18] And then we were like, oh, we'll be his, you know, we'll look after him.
[3:21] Right.
[3:22] And then we were like trying to talk to the government to go, what if we did that?
[3:25] I just didn't really think it through.
[3:27] And then they kind of came back and went, look, it's just a normal thing to do.
[3:30] Like, don't, you know, he's 14, don't embarrass him.
[3:32] And they went, yeah, actually, fair enough.
[3:34] And like, his dad's in the public eye, but don't annoy the kid.
[3:37] And we went, yeah, okay, yeah, they hadn't really thought that through.
[3:40] And it's the Prime Minister's sake.
[3:41] And the Prime Minister, and he's not going to let you look after him.
[3:43] No, this is the ideas bonanza.
[3:45] So in 2008, there was the 2020 Ideas Summit.
[3:48] Do you remember that, Mike?
[3:49] Yeah, I do.
[3:49] And the government came out and said, we want everybody's ideas.
[3:55] Just, it was such a weird thing.
[3:57] Yeah.
[3:58] We want to invite 100 prominent Australians from five different disciplines, I think it was, come to Canberra.
[4:03] think about stuff for a week, talk about it, and imagine what the world will be like in 2020, which is hilarious that that passed last year.
[4:09] No one picked coronavirus, so your idea summit was a failure.
[4:13] And this think tank was meant to revolutionise Australia.
[4:17] Yeah, like do the roadmap.
[4:19] Like Peter Garrett was in it, Cate Blanchett.
[4:21] In 12 years' time, the whole world will be looking back and going, gosh, I wish we did that.
[4:26] Yeah, we got all those people together for an idea session.
[4:29] So we were like, okay, well, because –
[4:31] that's going on.
[4:32] Why don't we try and get all the ideas in Australia?
[4:35] And we call it the ideas bonanza.
[4:38] And so we set up a hotline to go call in with any idea.
[4:42] You don't have to have a good one.
[4:44] Just call with any idea.
[4:45] It was fine but we just went on for a while.
[4:48] It wasn't great.
[4:49] It wasn't our strongest time.
[4:50] Mike knows that.
[4:51] Maybe you're listening to the show, maybe not, Mike.
[4:52] I don't know.
[4:53] It did though have one of the funnest things we've done was
[4:59] Which I think you're probably about to talk about, are you?
[5:01] I don't know.
[5:02] Maybe it's got two of the funnest things we've ever done.
[5:04] Well, we had this phone and we were just answering the phone.
[5:07] It became too difficult.
[5:08] So we outsourced the phone for the ideas.
[5:11] We want someone to man the phone, man the mobile phone.
[5:14] And as the phone rings, write down the phone.
[5:16] That's what happened on March 17.
[5:17] Yeah.
[5:18] March 17, 2008, we selected our Ideas General who was going to be in charge of the ideas and it was a guy called Bob Panic.
[5:28] So we… His name was… It probably still is Bob Panic.
[5:32] Well, his name, but he was like, no, it's pronounced Panitch.
[5:35] Panitch, yeah.
[5:36] But we're like, well, it's spelled Panic.
[5:39] We saw his name come up and lost it.
[5:41] We were like, Bob Panic, what a great…
[5:45] moment to have this guy on the show.
[5:47] And it turned out, Mike, that he was completely overwhelmed.
[5:52] So we went staked out his house.
[5:53] Yes.
[5:54] He was completely overwhelmed by the phone.
[5:56] People ringing.
[5:57] He was meant to take every call and write it down through the night.
[5:59] He just wasn't answering.
[6:00] His wife wasn't into it at all.
[6:01] She was angry at him.
[6:02] Was he just an ordinary guy?
[6:04] He was just a listener, an ordinary guy.
[6:06] And he said, and then he was like, look, just be honest with you, I'm doing this because I need a job at the moment.
[6:10] I thought it might be paid.
[6:12] Yeah.
[6:12] Because he's like in between jobs.
[6:13] He worked in HR or something.
[6:15] He worked in a corporate job and she was angry at him.
[6:18] His wife was angry at him because he's meant to be getting back into the workforce and instead he's answering the mobile phone for the radio station.
[6:24] And then we were angry with him because it didn't – a lot of people emailing him saying – He's not answering.
[6:29] He's not answering.
[6:30] So we set up a stakeout.
[6:32] Yeah.
[6:32] And then we were like, how can we test him?
[6:34] Yeah.
[6:35] So from memory, he didn't live too far from the studio, so we drove round there after doing the show one evening.
[6:43] We rang him personally from one of our phones or something.
[6:45] He said, oh, hey, we just want to drop something off to you.
[6:47] Can you come out the front and wait because we don't have much time?
[6:50] Then when we saw him come out the front, then we called the hotline to see if he answered it.
[6:54] And he didn't.
[6:55] And he didn't.
[6:55] We all lost it.
[6:56] We, like, drove up and, like, busted him and stripped him of it.
[6:59] Anyway, that made me laugh a lot seeing Bob Panic's name come up.
[7:02] Yeah.
[7:03] It's not what I've got for today.
[7:04] Great, because...
[7:05] It was more just, do you remember Bob Panic?
[7:08] If the stakeout day comes up, I want to listen to that.
[7:11] I want to listen to that.
[7:11] But this is just the day that we selected Bob Panic.
[7:14] I don't want the selection day.
[7:15] I want the stakeout day.
[7:16] The stakeout day.
[7:16] I'll tell you when it'll be.
[7:17] This is March 17 we're looking at today.
[7:19] It'll be like two days after that.
[7:21] Eight or nine.
[7:21] Because it didn't go great.
[7:23] A couple of highlights throughout the years from March 17 before I get to what I want to play.
[7:28] The wet lap.
[7:29] Remember we did the wet lab?
[7:30] Oh, yeah.
[7:30] I think that was thirsty.
[7:32] Camomel.
[7:33] Yeah.
[7:33] We did a V8 supercar.
[7:35] You had to have three pints.
[7:37] of drinks, of like beer, whatever you chose.
[7:40] And I think the winner chose Sambuca, which was smart because it's thicker.
[7:43] Thicker.
[7:44] And you had to drive around.
[7:46] You were the passenger in a V8 supercar as a supercar driver put you in the hottest lap of all time.
[7:52] Yeah.
[7:53] And how much liquid was left in your three pints.
[7:56] If you had the most, you were the victor out of three contestants, I think.
[7:59] Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
[8:00] Loved the wet lap.
[8:01] Yeah, absolutely.
[8:02] We had all sorts of trouble with that one, Mike, because we thought this is such a great idea.
[8:07] But then drinking and cars… The legals.
[8:11] The legals of having three pints of beer and a cup.
[8:13] Yeah.
[8:14] And we were saying, well, we're not on actual roads.
[8:16] It was one of those annoying things where you get the legal reason
[8:21] And you go, yeah, but why?
[8:22] Yeah.
[8:23] And they go, you can't have open alcohol in the car.
[8:25] Yeah, but why?
[8:26] Yeah.
[8:26] Because is it because people think someone's drinking it?
[8:30] Like who thinks anyone's drinking the three pints as this V8?
[8:33] It's all filmed.
[8:34] Like I promise you there'll be no suspicion of drinking.
[8:37] The competition is to keep the liquid in the glass.
[8:40] Terrible tactic.
[8:41] Terrible tactic.
[8:42] You're going to lose.
[8:44] So why?
[8:45] It's funny.
[8:45] I'm sure we said we would have had to have said some disclaimer.
[8:49] Yeah.
[8:50] Like in the lead into throwing to that package about how, you know, you can't have open…
[8:56] but this wasn't on a road, et cetera, et cetera, before we played that.
[8:59] Some, yeah, loophole.
[9:01] Yep.
[9:01] It's a good reminder, though, of how often a fun idea could just dissolve into like four hours of legal meetings.
[9:08] However.
[9:08] And that was 10 years ago where it was pretty fast and loose nowadays.
[9:11] There was no such thing as a safety check.
[9:13] Yeah, you basically had to be like offering a bounty to kill someone on air as a radio contest for the legals to go, I don't know, just the whole just assassinations for money thing.
[9:25] Here's what I do want to get to.
[9:27] I've seen these pop up as we go back through the shows.
[9:30] But this one caught my eye in particular.
[9:32] It's a hog's invention.
[9:33] Oh.
[9:34] It's a Hawks invention.
[9:35] It's from 2009.
[9:36] Okay.
[9:37] Which I feel was in Hawks'… Sweet spot.
[9:40] Sweet spot.
[9:41] He was on kind of almost every week.
[9:43] He had so many ideas in the late 2000s.
[9:45] And if people don't know who Hawks is, it's my mate from school who one day, Hayman and I, discovered he had a spreadsheet document, sorry, on his computer that just said ideas.xls.
[9:56] And we said, what's this?
[9:57] And he's like, I just… I've got tons.
[9:59] I've got tons of ideas.
[10:01] I don't, the reason I wanted to play this was for my own amusement because I didn't, I think I could have a guess at what this is, but I can't say for real that I actually remember.
[10:09] Great.
[10:09] what this invention was just from the title alone.
[10:12] And the sad thing for Hawks is a lot of his inventions, when we say a lot, maybe 10%, 15% have gone on to be very successful ideas, making people a lot of money, but we just laughed at them.
[10:23] Sure.
[10:24] I mean, essentially, got a job, need a job, have a job, give a job, became Fiverr.
[10:28] Yeah, or Airtasker.
[10:29] Or Airtasker.
[10:30] Yeah.
[10:31] He's had some success.
[10:31] Weather bet was one of his other ones, betting on the weather, which actually happens now.
[10:36] Well, Hogs has loved gambling.
[10:38] He's had some ups and downs with gambling in his life.
[10:41] He's enjoyed a punt.
[10:43] Yes.
[10:44] Weather bet was one of them.
[10:45] This one has something to do with betting again.
[10:48] But before we do that, let's hear from the sponsor.
[10:52] Okay.
[10:52] So, as promised, Hogs invention.
[10:54] It's not weather bet.
[10:55] This one is photo bet.
[10:59] The 17th of March 2009.
[11:03] Ham, really, there's been much anticipation for this.
[11:07] He's my ex-housemate, Hawks.
[11:10] He comes to the show with inventions.
[11:12] A lot of emails saying where's Hawks been.
[11:14] He needed some time off.
[11:15] He did.
[11:16] The last invention I think we had was the skin-coloured phone.
[11:19] Skin-coloured phone.
[11:20] So cops can see you if you're on the phone.
[11:22] Yeah, yeah.
[11:23] He did say, look, this is one...
[11:25] He admitted that wasn't when he pitched.
[11:26] That was on the list of things going, no, that's been scrapped.
[11:29] And it's good because it shows that there is a cull before these ideas reach us.
[11:33] This isn't just Hawke's plucking thoughts out of midair.
[11:36] You know, there are some that don't make the list.
[11:38] I think that was in the same pitch as the...
[11:41] elastic hoop that you like, the rubber band that goes around your head and your phone like dangles by the side of your face.
[11:46] Which did have sound effects on it.
[11:47] So if you wanted to pretend you were at the Formula One Grand Prix, you could put Formula One sound effects in the background.
[11:52] And that was a specific example given to us.
[11:54] I mean, you could have had thousands of different sound effects on there.
[11:57] He joins us right now.
[11:59] Hogs, are you there?
[12:00] Chance.
[12:01] Oh, drop the whistle for 09.
[12:04] What happened to the trademark Hogs whistle?
[12:07] I'm just straight into business.
[12:10] But, Hogs, an important part of business is having a trademark.
[12:13] All right, start again.
[12:14] Start again.
[12:15] Okay, okay, okay.
[12:16] Hogs, are you there?
[12:18] There he is.
[12:20] Hogs, this is exciting.
[12:21] You demand – you were worried after last week's invention was done that you wanted a bit more time off.
[12:27] This was a couple of weeks ago, sorry, before we even went on the tall ship adventure.
[12:31] How have you felt over the last two weeks for inventing?
[12:35] Mate, I did the exercise –
[12:38] I've gone, because what I do, I highlight in yellow what I actually have already proposed to you guys from the list.
[12:44] And from the, I've proposed 13 ideas.
[12:48] Yeah, really?
[12:49] From that 13 ideas, 10 of those ideas have already been invented.
[12:53] Yeah.
[12:55] One of them...
[12:56] was one of your listeners just copied off me, which was WeatherBets.
[13:00] I couldn't start that up.
[13:01] Stole it, yeah.
[13:02] And then the other two you guys just thought were so stupid that I shouldn't invest myself.
[13:08] I had to blow at some stage, and I did, and I'm sorry.
[13:13] Okay.
[13:13] You did, Hogs.
[13:14] It's nice to have you back.
[13:15] But it was good.
[13:16] I mean, do you feel that the break is, you know, have you been thinking a lot more on the break now that your mind's got to rest?
[13:22] Oh, the list is growing a lot stronger, and I'm confident this year.
[13:27] Now, people, when Hogs talks to the list, he has an Excel spreadsheet that is on his desktop where he works as a kids' book salesman, and that's where he adds the idea.
[13:36] You'd have to have a lock on your computer, Hogs, in case people, what if people tried to break in and, you know, steal your ideas?
[13:42] Yeah, I just hope that doesn't happen.
[13:44] I haven't done anything to prevent so far, but good idea.
[13:49] Okay.
[13:50] There we go, one for me.
[13:51] Hawke, let's hear your invention this week.
[13:55] People at the radio on 131060 if you're willing to invest or question the invention of Furthermore.
[14:00] Hawke, go take it away.
[14:01] Yeah, this week's, it's called Photo Bet.
[14:05] Photo Bet.
[14:07] So if you want it to weather bet, you bet on the weather.
[14:10] Photo bet, you bet on the photos, right?
[14:13] What do you mean you bet on a photo?
[14:17] So what happens, you go on to the photo bet, and you might want to place a $20 bet.
[14:24] What do you mean?
[14:25] How do you bet on photos?
[14:27] Hang on, just hang on.
[14:28] Okay, sorry, sorry.
[14:29] So two photos flash up, a man and a woman, which is the couple or the husband and wife flash up, and then...
[14:37] Ten kids flash up underneath and it says, right, this couple has three kids.
[14:42] You have to pick the three kids.
[14:45] So you might go, all right, he's got their nose, you know, he's got the smile there.
[14:51] And it's, you know, like 10 to 1 to pick all the three kids.
[14:55] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[14:56] And then there's different odds for how many.
[14:57] So it's basically.
[14:59] This is just betting on anything.
[15:03] This should just be any bet.
[15:04] No, it's not, mate.
[15:04] It's photo bet.
[15:05] Yeah, but you could have a website where you just bet on anything.
[15:07] Then you could have color bet.
[15:09] And then you go, if you mix all these together, what color do you reckon you get?
[15:14] You could have ant bet.
[15:16] Which ant will the anteater eat in this short video?
[15:19] Well, maybe that's a new exception.
[15:22] If this is photobit, you can do anything.
[15:24] I think photobit's a lot stronger than all that stuff.
[15:27] But, Hawks, do you bet money before you see the parents and the kids?
[15:31] Correct.
[15:32] See, I have thousands and thousands and thousands of couples and, you know, kids, right?
[15:38] So you bet before you see the couple.
[15:40] Hang on.
[15:40] Sorry, are you saying that as a hypothetical or did you think of this idea because you actually do have thousands of photos of couples and their children?
[15:48] No, I'll get them.
[15:50] But so if you know that couple...
[15:55] That's good on you.
[15:57] You obviously know.
[15:59] That's built into the odds.
[16:01] That's built into the odds.
[16:01] So, Hogs, I might go, okay, I'm going to put $100 in this next couple, hoping that I know them, and then I get 10 to 1 odds if I get all three of the kids correct.
[16:10] If I get one correct, it might be lesser odds.
[16:12] Yeah, it might be 7 to 1.
[16:15] All right, Ben, on 13, 10, 60.
[16:17] Ben, do you have a question for Hogs?
[16:19] Yeah, I'd just like to know, Hogs, what if the parents have...
[16:23] stepchildren or adopted kids, do the odds go up or do they go down?
[16:26] Good question.
[16:27] Well, they go up, obviously, but that's a different bet altogether.
[16:32] That's another idea.
[16:33] That's on a different part of the photo bet.
[16:35] But you could just see your photo bet platinum where you really have to be good because they're adopted kids so there's no way you can tell by looking at the kids.
[16:44] Dale, it won't work you think?
[16:46] No, I think I found a flaw.
[16:49] Really?
[16:50] Okay.
[16:50] Right, because with horse racing when you're betting at least you see who wins.
[16:54] Yeah.
[16:55] But with these parents.
[16:57] The side could just make up whether the kids are theirs or not.
[17:00] There's no actual proof unless you've got the parents there saying,
[17:03] Yeah, they're my kids.
[17:05] So you think that bettors will be...
[17:07] The problem is, Hogs, with everything you gamble on in life, there is proof.
[17:11] Yeah, and you're worried that Hogs, being the kind of owner and obviously the runner of this website, he might just make up where the kids are attached to different parents.
[17:20] Exactly.
[17:21] Hogs, how would you deal with that?
[17:23] Well, what about pokies?
[17:25] There's no proof in pokies.
[17:26] That's a good point.
[17:27] There is.
[17:29] If it comes up three cherries, you have to get the money you bet.
[17:33] Yeah, but I'm not going to lie.
[17:36] Well, you do need to do a bit better for that.
[17:40] You can't just giggle and then say, I'm not going to lie.
[17:43] Do you see what his point is though, Hawks?
[17:44] Because it's sort of like with pogies or with tat slotting, you're watching the balls being drawn out so you know for a fact whether you won or not.
[17:52] You're not just going, my numbers were this, did I win?
[17:55] And the guy's saying yes or no.
[17:57] But I think obviously the government board would go around, Hawks, and check up on you.
[18:01] Yeah, and you can sue if you want, but I will...
[18:08] It's not as catchy as life could be a dream, but you can sue if you want.
[18:12] Might be a good tagline for photo bet.
[18:16] I regretfully announce that there is no positive callers.
[18:22] For the first time ever in all of your ideas, there is in fact not one positive callers.
[18:27] Not one.
[18:28] Not one.
[18:29] Not one.
[18:30] My mum did them call up.
[18:31] No, there's a guy called Dan, and it's simply written alongside his name.
[18:35] Horrible idea.
[18:36] We won't even take Dan's call because he might be so angry at you for having that idea.
[18:40] Hogs, if you were playing the game right, you'd bet $100, and you said, I reckon these three kids were the ones, right?
[18:46] And then it came up and said, Oh, sorry, you're wrong.
[18:48] It was these three.
[18:50] How would you feel?
[18:50] And then they'll go, oh, yeah, look at his nose.
[18:55] But if you just, if one came up and it was just completely didn't look anything like the parents, would you go, well, how do I know the site's not rigged?
[19:01] Bet again.
[19:02] Bet again.
[19:04] Try and win your money back.
[19:06] Thank you, Hawks.
[19:07] You're taking the shit out of your time again.
[19:09] I'm going home.
[19:11] I do not remember that at all.
[19:12] I remember that at all.
[19:13] Thoroughly enjoyed this.
[19:14] Look, I'm sure there is something like that.
[19:16] The way that gambling has just taken over the whole world.
[19:19] The only thing is it's a good idea except for that executional.
[19:23] Yeah.
[19:24] You could do photobet.
[19:25] It would be a great idea to go, you know, like, which of these two objects is bigger in real life or whatever and then you kind of like show them next to each other or whatever.
[19:33] Yes.
[19:34] But that actual execution of going, whose kids are these?
[19:37] That's the most difficult one to pick out of all of them.
[19:40] But it's not crazy.
[19:42] I agree.
[19:43] It's probably out there.
[19:45] If it wasn't betting and it was just an app, I think I'd play it.
[19:49] Yeah.
[19:50] And look, as we always say these days, gamble responsibly.
[19:54] We didn't say it a lot back in the day.
[19:57] No, but definitely gamble.
[19:58] These days, gamble responsibly.
[20:00] Times have changed.
[20:01] Great remembering.

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