# Andy Living Next Door To Kylie and Dannii Minogue

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 11 Apr 2021, 20 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/ccyjdca827nut65grz4r1zim.mp3

Hamish & Andy relive the time they attempted to ‘Eat the Board’ at Maccas and how controversial the Chicken and Cheese burger became in their quest. Hamish remembers when Andy first began dating Bec and a major hurdle they had to overcome. They also reminisce about the time that Karl Stefanovic dabbled in documentary making, and when Andy had some very famous Neighbours. The boys then replay the moment Dannii Minogue brought in audio of Andy performing in his primary school musical! Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 2, Episode 1.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 30th of March.
[0:37] Okay, then.
[0:38] It's Hamish go.
[0:39] Let's kick this off and find out what years Hamish will take us back to and see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:47] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:54] Ando, a bit of a smorgasbord, March 30th.
[0:57] Really?
[0:57] Yeah, a lot of options.
[0:59] A lot of options.
[1:00] I'll start with the most recent that I just want to bring up.
[1:03] This is not the grab that I want to play.
[1:06] The 30th of March was the day before we ate the board in 2017.
[1:11] Yes.
[1:12] That was our attempt to eat the board.
[1:14] So do you know what I think that was?
[1:15] I think it was actually the day before we didn't eat the board.
[1:17] At McDonald's, this is.
[1:19] We wanted to eat the entire menu.
[1:21] Always something we dreamed about.
[1:23] It had to be...
[1:25] Classic and available.
[1:27] Sorry, classic and available.
[1:28] You're right.
[1:29] So it couldn't be… It couldn't be the McRib if it was just coming past.
[1:33] That's a limited time only burger.
[1:36] It did mean the Angus burgers were out because that wasn't classic.
[1:40] We're talking about when we were growing up in the 90s.
[1:44] Yes.
[1:44] Sorry, I'm just choking on a chip, ironically enough.
[1:47] When we were growing up in the 90s, the board that we all remember.
[1:51] Yes.
[1:52] The bone of contention came from the chicken and cheese, which is a small McChicken.
[1:56] Which I was adamant we shouldn't include the chicken and cheese.
[2:00] It wasn't classic at all.
[2:02] Yeah.
[2:02] I reckon on this day too in 2017 was when I was vehemently supporting the chicken and cheese.
[2:10] Yes.
[2:11] And you feel like it might have.
[2:12] Because I made the error of being hungry while we did the show.
[2:16] Yes.
[2:16] So when I was saying, let's include it, let's include it, what I really meant was I want one.
[2:20] Yes.
[2:21] And that wasn't helping us because, you know, we agreed the next day we're going to do the show from Macca's, split up the board.
[2:27] You know, who gets what.
[2:28] Eat it together.
[2:29] Yep.
[2:30] See if we can get through the entire menu together.
[2:31] It was going to be four or five burgers each plus your nugs and your...
[2:34] Thick shake sundae cookies.
[2:36] Cookies we had in there.
[2:37] To prove to you that it was classic and available, I had someone go and fetch one during the show.
[2:46] Carly, if I remember correctly, one of our producers, Carl's nicked off down to the nearest Macca's, got a chicken and cheese, came back,
[2:54] We moved on by that stage in the show so I didn't eat it.
[2:58] Eat it fresh.
[2:58] You did not eat it fresh.
[2:59] I did not eat it fresh.
[3:00] I ate it one hour later.
[3:02] At which stage it was cold.
[3:04] Something wasn't right when I bit into that chicken and cheese but I went, I think it's just the coldness.
[3:09] I'll press on.
[3:10] I was hungry so I was happy to eat a cold one.
[3:13] Later that night I got what can only be described as violent food poisoning.
[3:18] Yes.
[3:18] You know, it happens to the best of restaurants.
[3:20] Yes.
[3:21] But I do think it was that bad, chicken and cheese.
[3:23] But I couldn't say that on air.
[3:25] I didn't say it at the time because it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.
[3:28] Because McDonald's would have been quite nice letting us do the whole show from there.
[3:31] And it wasn't a sponsored thing.
[3:33] It was just we just really liked McDonald's.
[3:35] And we'd build ourselves up to eat the board the next day.
[3:39] And you had to call in sick and say, I cannot eat under these conditions.
[3:42] So we got delayed a day.
[3:44] And maybe that's what cost us as well.
[3:45] We didn't quite get through the board.
[3:47] Then on the Monday we did it.
[3:49] We got a stunted start.
[3:50] And it was, I was just coming in unconfident.
[3:54] Unconfident.
[3:55] We went down by half a burger though, didn't we?
[3:56] Yeah.
[3:57] Spewed everywhere.
[3:58] Chicken spewed absolutely everywhere.
[4:00] And the chicken and cheese was part of that.
[4:01] Would have been the difference.
[4:03] Would have been the difference.
[4:06] Going back in time, 2016, you and Beck had just got together.
[4:10] There was something in the rung seat going, Andy's a couple together.
[4:13] Beck's an animal lover.
[4:14] Highlighted and he hates animals.
[4:16] He doesn't want a pet.
[4:17] I don't hate animals.
[4:19] It sounds like I go out and, you know, shooting with my mates.
[4:23] I'm the guy I know that's got two rhubars.
[4:25] Trying to take down as many as possible.
[4:27] I just have never had a pet.
[4:28] Yeah.
[4:29] Well, anyway, well, in the run sheet it was all about how, you know, can you guys be together?
[4:33] Right.
[4:34] Turns out, obviously, it's been fine.
[4:35] It can.
[4:37] And we know the tall terrier is on its way.
[4:39] It's on its way.
[4:40] Allegedly.
[4:41] I haven't seen it yet, but we'll certainly see it coming from the shadow it casts before it gets here.
[4:46] Here's something that amused me.
[4:47] Back in 2012, again, not what I want to get to, but something that made me smile when I saw it in the run sheet from the 30th of March 2012.
[4:54] Karl Stefanovic was on the show.
[4:56] Right.
[4:57] Talking about his documentary he'd made on the Great Barrier Reef.
[5:00] What?
[5:02] Does anyone remember when Steffo took a quick detour into Louis Theroux's territory and did a doco on the Barrier Reef?
[5:10] No.
[5:11] I mean, he is a proud Queensland boy.
[5:13] And he was probably worried about it, you know.
[5:15] He would have been worried about it, yeah.
[5:16] Because it's been devastated by climate.
[5:19] Maybe or maybe.
[5:20] Great Barrier Grief or something.
[5:24] Just get up here, love it.
[5:26] He were the wonders of the reef.
[5:27] He just decided to get out there.
[5:29] I don't know.
[5:29] Maybe he was just on holidays and had an underwater camera housing and went, geez.
[5:33] Some of this is looking good.
[5:35] Put a bit of voiceover on this.
[5:36] We went out to the Great Barrier Reef together.
[5:38] We certainly did.
[5:39] In our first year of knowing each other, just on a holiday.
[5:42] Would have been 2002.
[5:43] Yeah.
[5:45] And both of us were feeling a little woozy on the rough ride out.
[5:49] Do we go to Townsville?
[5:50] Yes.
[5:51] Yeah.
[5:51] We took a boat out of Townsville to go to the reef.
[5:53] Yep.
[5:55] Remember the guy who hit the reef in the glass bottle boat?
[6:00] You go out of Townsville, Mike, and you get to like a pontoon.
[6:03] Quite like, you know, quite a way offshore.
[6:05] I guess, I don't know, an hour or so boat ride.
[6:07] And they're talking about the conservation of it all.
[6:10] Don't you dare.
[6:11] This is so pristine.
[6:12] Don't touch it.
[6:13] When you're snorkeling, don't touch it.
[6:15] Stay at least a metre above the reef.
[6:16] Don't let your fins hit it.
[6:17] And so we were doing a bit of snorkeling, but we also, the guy took us on the glass-bottom boat to do a little cruise around.
[6:23] Mm-hmm.
[6:24] And we were looking through the bottom of the glass going, he knows this reef.
[6:30] Look how close he is.
[6:31] He's a good driver.
[6:32] We were so impressed, mate.
[6:33] We were so impressed at me and Andy.
[6:34] And you're like, geez, how's the skills on this guy?
[6:35] Like the reef is… And we're going, maybe it's amplifying it.
[6:37] Maybe it's magnifying it.
[6:38] Yeah, maybe it looks closer than it is through the glass bottom.
[6:40] And then suddenly… Oh, no.
[6:44] Yeah, it really, really quite did.
[6:47] It jolted.
[6:48] The guy shat himself to him.
[6:50] Oh, absolutely.
[6:50] Look, immediately look back to the pontoon because there's several glass-bottom boats going out from the pontoon going, shit, if someone's seen this, I'm out of the job.
[6:58] And then he was just gunning it in reverse to like...
[7:01] Yeah.
[7:02] And arrived back off the reef.
[7:04] And ten years later, Carl Stefanovic's doing an investigative report into what happened to this bit of reef.
[7:10] Trying to find Darren who ran aground on the reef.
[7:12] We know.
[7:13] Anyway, but I do remember that era.
[7:15] I remember Steffo was doing that stuff and he was on 60 Minutes and maybe this was that sort of era of Stefanovic's, you know, in his palette.
[7:25] He's a man of many talents and maybe that was just the –
[7:27] The time where he was like, no, no, I'm going to be branching out and doing a bit more serious stuff.
[7:32] And this is one of the dabbles.
[7:35] Yeah.
[7:35] One of the dabbles.
[7:36] Anyway.
[7:38] I didn't think it was worth listening to.
[7:39] No, definitely not.
[7:40] I'm glad you didn't pick it.
[7:41] It would have been, I can tell you what it would have been.
[7:43] Two guys called Hamish and Andy pretending they'd watched the full documentary.
[7:48] It was a three-episode series by the looks of Wikipedia.
[7:51] Yeah.
[7:52] But that's all the information I've got.
[7:54] Couldn't get it done in one.
[7:55] Bloody big roof.
[7:57] Bloody big roof.
[7:58] One of the biggest.
[7:59] Can't fit it all in one ep.
[8:01] I suppose, yeah, bottom of the reef, middle of the reef surface.
[8:04] Yeah.
[8:05] That's how I break it up.
[8:09] It's got an 8.3 on IMDb.
[8:10] Yeah, from Carl.
[8:10] Yeah.
[8:15] How many votes?
[8:16] 684.
[8:17] Okay.
[8:17] Not bad.
[8:17] Wow.
[8:18] That is a lot of people that have gone to IMDb to vote about a 10-year-old Great Barrow.
[8:24] Hey, you know exactly what's happening here, though.
[8:27] When something comes out like this, companies, Channel 9 would have done it at the radio station, did it all the time.
[8:33] Group all email.
[8:34] Can everyone just jump on IMDb and give this little tick, please?
[8:38] Flutter.
[8:38] They've got probably 20,000 employees at night across the whole country and only 600 could be bothered.
[8:46] Flutter.
[8:47] But by the same token, what sort of an arsehole hates a documentary on the Grabber roof so much that they were going to give it like a zero?
[8:54] Yeah, that's true.
[8:56] I found I didn't mind...
[8:58] Middle.
[8:58] Yeah.
[8:59] I hated bottom.
[9:00] The surface was terrible.
[9:01] The finale stunk.
[9:03] The Blu-ray is available on Amazon.com.
[9:06] There's one left in stock.
[9:08] So you can own the last ever copy.
[9:10] Of a possible three.
[9:11] Yeah.
[9:12] I mean.
[9:12] I'm going to pass.
[9:14] Carl has a lot going on and I can promise you he's not sitting at home waiting for the email, for the royalty email of the Blu-ray from his Great Barrier Roof.
[9:23] Okay.
[9:24] Here's what I wanted to get to.
[9:25] Yep.
[9:26] 2007.
[9:27] I saw this coming up and I'm like, this has to be the pick.
[9:30] Danny Minogue came on the show.
[9:32] Again, possibly in a judging capacity for some sort of show.
[9:35] would have to be because I only just recently went, Danny Minogue, boy, she stood the test of time for being a coach on things or a judge on things.
[9:47] She did.
[9:48] Masked singer more recently.
[9:49] Given a lot to the game.
[9:50] But Australia's got talent.
[9:52] Yeah.
[9:52] She was from back there.
[9:53] She's done X Factor.
[9:54] Do you reckon she was on So You Think You Can Dance?
[9:56] I think she was.
[9:57] I thought she was So You Think You Can Dance.
[9:58] Could have dabbled.
[9:59] Yeah.
[9:59] One of those shows again that pops on the run sheet.
[10:00] Gee, we had a lot of people on that show.
[10:02] I reckon she would have had been a judge or on one of those shows for Relentlessly 18 of the last 20 years.
[10:10] What have we got there?
[10:12] Looks like in 2007 she was on Australia's Got Talent and the X Factor UK.
[10:16] You remember she did UK?
[10:18] That was big.
[10:19] She was on that with Sharon Osbourne and that really boosted
[10:23] Danny played a little bit of the, all right, I'll come home and do you guys a favour and we were appreciative.
[10:29] Exactly.
[10:30] And now she's alongside Dave Hughes who has Sharon Osbourne vibes at times.
[10:34] He does, doesn't he?
[10:34] Doesn't he?
[10:35] Yeah.
[10:35] He does.
[10:36] Yeah, there is some overlap on the Dave Hughes, Sharon Osbourne Venn diagram, isn't there?
[10:41] Yeah, yeah.
[10:42] You know, kind of a… Madhouse.
[10:43] Mad hair.
[10:44] Mad hair.
[10:46] Aggressive voice from time to time.
[10:49] And, you know, can get a head of steam up and can be commanding a monologue.
[10:53] Yes.
[10:53] Without, yeah, yeah.
[10:55] Not wild, Andy.
[10:57] And I think Husey would be the first to admit it.
[11:00] The Sharon Osbourne of Australia.
[11:02] The Sharon Osbourne crossover.
[11:04] Danny Minogue brought in something incredible to the show.
[11:08] Do you know what it is?
[11:09] No.
[11:09] Let's hear from our sponsor and I will fill you in next.
[11:13] Okay, Haim, what have you got to tell us about Danny Minogue?
[11:16] She, because the Lee family farm backed onto the Minogue family farm in the suburb, the Melbourne suburb of Canterbury growing up, the two properties were close to each other.
[11:29] You shared a back fence.
[11:30] Often the children would wander back and forth between paddocks.
[11:33] Well, I went down, it was down the road, and then the Minogues moved in behind us.
[11:38] So, yeah, it could have been depending on the year.
[11:40] But I went down to get Kylie's autograph.
[11:44] Did she live at home with her parents?
[11:46] No, this is the last week.
[11:50] And her dad said, tell me to buzz off.
[11:53] And then the second most exciting Minogue moment for me growing up was Danny Minogue dated Jacques Villeneuve, the Formula One driver for a while, who was like this hot Formula One driver.
[12:05] Jacques came out to meet the family.
[12:08] You could hear him.
[12:10] Yeah.
[12:11] I wandered down to try and get a little bit of a glimpse of Joan.
[12:14] While we're meeting, while we're letting strangers into the house, perhaps I might join as well.
[12:21] Yeah, yeah.
[12:23] Well, because there is the connection, Danny bought in, had a copy somehow of your primary school musical.
[12:29] Wow.
[12:30] Remember?
[12:31] Yeah.
[12:31] Do you remember this?
[12:32] I don't remember.
[12:33] I don't remember.
[12:33] Do you remember bringing it on the show?
[12:34] No.
[12:34] She's the one that brought it on the show.
[12:36] I have the biggest lisp in the world.
[12:38] Which musical?
[12:39] I reckon from my memory it's Not A Penny.
[12:42] Not A Penny.
[12:43] Which is such a good name for a primary school musical that was no doubt written by one of the teachers.
[12:48] This is the…
[12:49] It is written by a teacher.
[12:51] It covers the 1930s Depression era, which is very difficult.
[12:54] Fun and exciting time for kids.
[12:56] Perfectly captured when nine-year-olds sing about it.
[13:01] Nine-year-old children in one of the most elite, upper-middle-class white suburbs of Melbourne.
[13:06] Yeah, let's hear when Danny bought...
[13:11] I think this is the bit we should put it in.
[13:14] The 30th of March, 2007.
[13:18] Now, look, Danny.
[13:19] Yeah?
[13:20] Andy doesn't know this, but there's a special reason you're on the show today.
[13:24] I just want to say thank you, Danny, because you've come to the show with a little something that I think is basically a nugget of comedy gold.
[13:35] You've volunteered to come on the show.
[13:37] Andy, you don't know what we're speaking about.
[13:40] Do I want to know what we're speaking about?
[13:41] Danny, can you tell our listeners what has come into your possession?
[13:45] Well, what...
[13:46] What do you think I could have in my handbag that would have anything to do with you?
[13:49] I don't know.
[13:49] I know our parents used to live in the same street.
[13:52] Oh, he's pretty warm.
[13:53] Oh, yeah.
[13:54] He's pretty warm.
[13:55] We were having a little street party a couple of weeks ago.
[14:00] And we were out, you know, just having a few glasses of wine, some beer, barbecue.
[14:05] And one of the girls from down the street, her daughter came up and she said, oh, I go to the same school that Andy went to.
[14:12] And I said, oh, really?
[14:13] And she said, I've got this very interesting VHS of his first play that he did.
[14:21] So in my drunken stupor, I went, go get it!
[14:25] Oh, no.
[14:26] And da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
[14:29] Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the children and staff of Baldwin Primary School's 1993 production of Not A Penny.
[14:40] Look, Andrew Lee is listed as playing a young gentleman called James O'Reilly.
[14:45] But look, I've had a watch of this several times and it gets funnier and funnier.
[14:50] But I thought as a special treat for our listeners, Danny, I've put together a little synopsis of Andy's work in Not A Penny.
[14:58] Set in the late 1920s, Not A Penny tells the harrowing tale of how hard it was to find employment, as was highlighted by the group opening number, Please, oh please, can you give us a job?
[15:11] Give us the chance to earn a few bob.
[15:13] Please, oh please, can you give us a job?
[15:16] Give us a chance to earn a number of bob.
[15:20] The next scene involves a few of the cast members playing cricket for, and I'm not joking, a full minute and a half.
[15:28] This is where keen audience members might have spied one Andy Lee, aged 11, fielding in slips and getting a little angry when girls drop catches.
[15:39] And Andy's frustration grew to the point where he dives for a catch at one stage and hits his head on a pole.
[15:45] But the young diva ends the cricket match when he gets out.
[15:51] It's no good.
[15:52] Can't concentrate.
[15:53] And this is where we get to hear Andy's character, James O'Reilly, give a stirring monologue.
[15:58] I've got to do something to help mum.
[16:01] She struggles night and day to look after us.
[16:04] Dad's up north, trying to make good.
[16:06] Can't just sit at school all day.
[16:08] I've got to do more to help.
[16:09] So young James O'Reilly heads off to find work.
[16:12] But alas, there's trouble on the way.
[16:14] Some beggars.
[16:16] Hey, mister, please.
[16:17] What's your problem?
[16:18] Which the orchestra feels is an appropriate time to burst into another song.
[16:25] However, I will spare you the full song.
[16:27] Andy then goes to the boot factory to get a job, where the over-enthusiastic cobbling in the background makes the audio impossible to hear.
[16:35] They put themselves on the song, yes.
[16:37] Is this your first job, James?
[16:38] Now that Andy's character, James, has secured a job, he's going home after his first day of work.
[16:44] But again, there's trouble on the streets.
[16:46] James, isn't it the job snatcher?
[16:48] I don't know what you mean.
[16:50] But you do know what they mean, James, and they beat you up, much to the amusement of the audience.
[16:56] Ow!
[16:57] The next day, back at the boot factory, James is told to go and bet on some horses for his boss.
[17:02] But once again, due to the over-enthusiastic cobbling in the background, you can't hear the dialogue.
[17:07] Turn around.
[17:13] But there's trouble for James at the off-licence betting premises.
[17:16] Some children dressed as police barge in and arrest him.
[17:19] Get the kid!
[17:21] Come along with us.
[17:22] Andy's character James puts up an amazingly dramatic struggle, which impresses the audience, led by a woman who, I suspect, is Andy's mum.
[17:35] But the best is yet to come.
[17:37] Andy's character James meets a very quiet girl on the street and explains his predicament.
[17:42] I lost my job yesterday.
[17:44] I'm sorry.
[17:45] But how can they share their sorrow together?
[17:48] I know.
[17:48] What about a duet?
[17:50] Hit it, well-tuned band.
[18:17] I know, you wish it could go on longer.
[18:20] And it does.
[18:21] Hope we'll find a longer climber.
[18:27] Pray we'll find a friendly shore.
[18:34] Bravo, Andy Lee, you 11-year-old shining star.
[18:37] Not a penny, but six pounds of talent.
[18:43] We had no idea Not A Penny was so hilarious.
[18:47] Like every good stage show, when you film it, you don't get the essence of how good it is.
[18:53] Was it even worse?
[18:54] It wasn't made for video.
[18:58] It wasn't even worse.
[18:59] Wow.
[18:59] The most amazing thing is, and we're filming these podcasts, and let's put it up, you remember the lyrics.
[19:06] Andy's sitting here singing along.
[19:08] Singing along.
[19:09] I also remember that the band that was all school students.
[19:13] You can tell.
[19:14] But the five, sixes.
[19:14] No one's accusing them of being the Melbourne Philharmonic.
[19:18] Grade five, sixes were in the plays.
[19:20] Normally it was grade three and fours in the band.
[19:23] There was one violinist called Chin Chi who just kept falling asleep.
[19:30] It could be a long set.
[19:32] There'd be Mr Arnold who wrote the play but also conducted the orchestra.
[19:35] It could be a long set.
[19:36] Just trying to get Chinchie up and about.
[19:39] And that goes for everyone in the orchestra.
[19:41] Let's all wake up.
[19:42] Mike, you went to high school on a half-day.
[19:46] choral scholarship.
[19:47] Yes.
[19:48] As a talent scout, did you detect any scholarship-worthy notes in a young Andy's voice?
[19:55] I think you've got a really strong voice because you couldn't even hear the girl singing harmonies behind you.
[20:01] You were singing that loud.
[20:03] Was it harmonies or do you think they were just singing the same song together?
[20:06] No, I think there was a girl singing harmonies.
[20:08] We're attempting harmonies.
[20:09] Sure.
[20:10] Yeah, I probably wasn't as giving because she's on a high falsetto and I'm just going...
[20:14] I'll take it from here with my powerful soprano.
[20:19] Good remembering.
[20:20] Really fun.

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