# Ultimate Wingman Works His Magic With Lily Allen

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 30 May 2021, 14 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/qin8592l3ca6eymvti88amix.mp3

Hamish & Andy remember some of their earliest feedback from radio bosses – “Stop singing...you’re not the Scared Weird Little Guys!” They recall when the Frank Stallone concert sold out in 6 minutes, as well as interviews with Seth Rogen, Olly Murs and Lily Allen. They listen back to a Lily Allen interview where she barely gets a word in, and Andy hesitantly reminds Hamish of one of his only Ultimate Wingman success stories – Andy’s pash with Lily! Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 2, Episode 8.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 10th of August.
[0:37] Okay, that's Andy's go then.
[0:38] Let's kick it off and find out what years Andy will take us back to and we'll see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:46] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:53] Haim, shows in 06, 07, 09, 10, 15 and 16.
[0:59] And looking at all the run sheets from across these shows...
[1:04] For two guys that can't really sing, we sung a lot, didn't we?
[1:07] We did sing a lot.
[1:08] We enjoyed a song.
[1:09] We love it.
[1:10] We still do.
[1:11] We still love a song.
[1:12] And the way I like to think about it is it's like, it's more of like a shanty vibe.
[1:17] Yes.
[1:18] On a boat.
[1:20] You know, it's okay if someone wants to sing a song because you've got to pass the time on the boat.
[1:25] We're not charging for tickets.
[1:27] So it's just, well, let this guy sing.
[1:31] I like it.
[1:31] And chant like sometimes.
[1:32] I think at the footy, the English Premier League.
[1:35] We did have, I think we've even spoken about it on this podcast.
[1:38] We did famously, one of our earliest bits of feedback we had was
[1:43] Let's tone it down on the songs, guys.
[1:44] You're not the scared weird little guys.
[1:46] Yeah.
[1:47] Leave it to them.
[1:48] Craig Bruce.
[1:49] The wonderful Craig Bruce.
[1:50] He said, just leave it to them.
[1:51] Don't do any songs.
[1:52] They're the pros.
[1:53] When we got given the drive show.
[1:54] Yeah.
[1:55] And we definitely ignored that for going through all this.
[1:57] What have we got?
[1:59] Well, I think...
[2:00] I'll go backwards.
[2:01] 2016, it's just interesting, I think, to find the celebrities that have been on for the movies they had at the time.
[2:07] But Seth Rogen was on for Sausage Party.
[2:09] Yeah, great.
[2:11] In 2016, we had Seth Rogen on a fair bit throughout the ride of the show.
[2:15] Great guest.
[2:16] But also, Olly Murs...
[2:19] Was versus the playlist.
[2:20] Now, Olly Merz, I think, won X Factor in the UK.
[2:23] He's good.
[2:24] And was great.
[2:25] And that was a segment we had where basically they would play the first half of every song for a whole hour live.
[2:32] Then we'd mix it into the rest of the song.
[2:33] Had to do it at the right pace and the right key so we could just merge it straight into the real song.
[2:39] Olly Merz.
[2:40] And Olly Merz.
[2:41] And he did a very good job.
[2:44] 2010, tickets went on sale for Frank Stallone concert.
[2:47] And they sold out in six minutes, seven minutes.
[2:51] Because I remember when we picked Frank Stallone up from the airport and we told him...
[2:56] He was ecstatic.
[2:58] He was like, my brother thinks that the Expendables is so good because he's number one at the box office.
[3:07] Well, I just saw that in six minutes.
[3:09] Bimmy, are you kidding me?
[3:11] You've got him, mate.
[3:12] You've got Sylvester.
[3:13] We definitely felt that from Frank Stallone when he was out here.
[3:16] There must have been a natural competitiveness with Sylvester Stallone.
[3:21] And, oh, look, the late, great Michael Gidinski helped us get Frank out and pick the venue, et cetera.
[3:28] But he did subsequently ring Hamish and I, Gidinski, and said, hey, should we do a tour with Frank because it sold out in six minutes?
[3:38] And we said to Michael, oh,
[3:41] I think the joke, I think everyone bought into the joke.
[3:44] We built the hunger up.
[3:45] I don't think necessarily bringing Frank back out for a huge tour is the right thing to do.
[3:52] Not sure if that hunger remains.
[3:53] No, but Michael at the time couldn't quite understand and then a few months later said to us, yep, thanks boys, I get it now.
[4:01] People were starving and we fed them mini quiches and they ate them but you shouldn't serve people mini quiches all the time.
[4:07] No.
[4:08] No, certainly quenched their hunger.
[4:10] But Haim, you've wanted to be Ultimate Wingman for me many, many times.
[4:16] Wanted to and have succeeded.
[4:18] Very rarely have you, but you certainly played a role in this one.
[4:23] I got you a fair few babes over the journey.
[4:25] I was reticent to bring this one up, but Marshy and Sammy, who helps us out here, said we've got to tell this story, but 2006 –
[4:32] Lily Allen was on our show.
[4:34] The Lilster.
[4:35] Yeah.
[4:35] Did I wingman you?
[4:37] Well, not really.
[4:39] I think if we are about to listen to this, we'll hear some wingmanning.
[4:44] Accidental wingmanning probably.
[4:46] What we should do is we should go to the sponsorship message.
[4:49] Yep.
[4:49] And we'll be back in a sec.
[4:52] The story after Lily came into the studio is where the fun wingmaning stuff happens.
[4:57] Yep.
[4:58] But this is what we did in the interview.
[5:00] And from memory, not many people really knew who Lily Allen was at the time.
[5:04] No.
[5:05] And she had a single out called Smile, which is her first single.
[5:09] Yep.
[5:09] I remember it was like the big – wasn't the big story about that single that it got famous on MySpace?
[5:14] Yeah.
[5:15] And that, I mean, that dates it.
[5:16] Yeah, absolutely.
[5:17] So you can get an accurate idea of what era we're talking.
[5:20] But it was like the first song of like, oh, guess what?
[5:23] This wasn't on radio.
[5:25] There's this thing on the internet.
[5:27] Well, firstly, there's this thing called the internet.
[5:28] And then on that thing, there's a thing called MySpace.
[5:31] And people listened on that.
[5:32] So on the running sheet, it says Hamish and Andy sing their version of Lily Allen's song.
[5:37] Did you know that we did that?
[5:38] No, I did not know.
[5:39] I mean, we've done some stinkers, but...
[5:41] I'm worried about it, but we... Well, it doesn't jump out as one of the classics in my head, song-wise.
[5:47] Nothing will beat...
[5:49] Get Off Our Backs, We're Just Albinos, the song that we wrote to defend albinos.
[5:56] Because they're often portrayed as villains in films, albinos.
[5:59] Mike gave it a bit of a... Can you name one film with an albino?
[6:05] Yeah.
[6:05] Heaps, particularly in the 80s.
[6:07] Heaps, mate.
[6:08] But the Da Vinci Code.
[6:10] Rugged a howler in Blade Runner.
[6:11] Yeah, but I'd say Da Vinci Code's the most recent one.
[6:15] Okay.
[6:16] But Hayme... Marksing the gaps is still not sure it was an issue that needed to be addressed.
[6:21] It's not a pressing issue.
[6:23] But Hayme, one thing that I found funny that we ended up stopped doing is that we'd often early on...
[6:31] Kissing the guests?
[6:31] Yeah, we did stop doing that.
[6:35] But...
[6:36] We have an idea for a song or a parody of a song of someone who – a recording artist.
[6:42] And when they came in, we'd play it to them.
[6:45] And it's the worst thing to do in an interview.
[6:46] Did we do that?
[6:48] I'm very anti that.
[6:50] Well, we did that to Lily.
[6:51] Lily.
[6:52] There was obviously a little part of you going, I'm keen on this girl.
[6:55] No, I haven't even met her yet.
[6:57] There was something there.
[6:58] No, it wasn't.
[6:59] Don't deny what your body ended up wanting.
[7:02] At this point, no.
[7:02] The heart knows before the mind knows.
[7:04] But we would do that and we worked out pretty quickly in our first year that no, let's not do this.
[7:11] I don't know what you think you're hoping for with that.
[7:14] Just like, hey, you're a serious recording artist.
[7:17] You've dedicated your life to this.
[7:18] You've got an amazing talent.
[7:19] You're giving it everything.
[7:20] Yeah.
[7:21] We, listen to us now, put 10 minutes of thought into what you do for a career and be impressed by it.
[7:27] Why would anyone be impressed by that?
[7:29] That's why when Marshy handed over this audio, he said, just ready yourselves because Lily doesn't get much of a word in this interview.
[7:36] Where does... We're so keen to show her our homework.
[7:39] Kind of like Margot Robbie with us talking about gravy more than speaking to her.
[7:43] This is how it worked out.
[7:45] Here we go.
[7:47] The 10th of August, 2006...
[7:51] Hello, Lily.
[7:52] How are you going?
[7:53] Good, thanks.
[7:54] What a lovely smile.
[7:56] And you've got enormous earrings, which weigh about 600 kilograms, I guess.
[8:01] I mean, I don't know.
[8:02] You've taken them off.
[8:03] How'd you get them through customs?
[8:05] That's got to be my first question.
[8:06] They beep, actually.
[8:07] They would beep.
[8:08] I didn't realise that gold goes off on those thingies.
[8:12] Is it metal?
[8:13] Yeah.
[8:13] I thought that it was like, you know, fake metal.
[8:19] No, gold is a real medal.
[8:20] Gold is a legitimate medal.
[8:21] Do you know what I mean?
[8:23] Like tin or something.
[8:25] I'm afraid I don't.
[8:26] Because tin's also a medal.
[8:27] So secretly, in your theory, you think there might be terrorists sitting around going, if we can make a gun out of gold, if we have enough money, we can sneak it on the plane.
[8:36] Well, congratulations with the song Smile.
[8:39] Obviously, a song written about your ex.
[8:42] And it's just absolutely going gangbusters.
[8:44] What does that mean?
[8:46] It means terrifically well.
[8:47] I wondered, though, if you write a song about your ex and it goes really well, there's no getting back with him now, is there?
[8:54] No.
[8:54] No.
[8:55] I mean, was there ever a chance?
[8:56] I mean, just the... No, there wasn't.
[8:58] It wasn't.
[8:59] That door is firmly closed.
[9:01] That door is closed, and it closed even further when he sold his story to the newspapers a couple of weeks ago.
[9:07] Oh.
[9:07] Sex and all.
[9:08] Really?
[9:08] Oh, really?
[9:09] Yeah.
[9:09] Do you know how much he got for it?
[9:10] How much are you worth?
[9:12] Well, he was offered £25,000, and then he got given £10,000, I think, because he didn't do enough dirt.
[9:19] Yeah.
[9:19] Oh really?
[9:20] Do you have to dig enough dirt?
[9:22] Is there a dirt-o-meter?
[9:23] Yes, there is.
[9:25] I think you have to like, yeah.
[9:27] That's remarkable.
[9:28] Obviously your song came out and we noticed there was a response track.
[9:32] The cool thing these days is to have response tracks it seems.
[9:36] Someone has written a track in response to your song which I'm sure you're aware of.
[9:40] Yeah.
[9:40] Do we have a little grab?
[9:41] We do.
[9:42] We have a little bit of it here.
[9:42] Have a listen.
[9:53] Suggesting you turned vile at the end there.
[9:56] I guess this is the go in England, but in Australia, generally, when blokes break up, they're fairly down and fairly upset about the whole thing.
[10:04] Sometimes they can be heartbroken.
[10:05] So, look, Lily, before you came in, with your permission, we've made a response track.
[10:10] Yeah.
[10:10] to your song.
[10:14] Andy here plays the role of someone that's quite heartbroken.
[10:17] Quite crushed.
[10:18] Yeah, after the breakup.
[10:20] And I'll be playing a quite well-known Australian role of the unsupportive friend.
[10:25] Okay.
[10:25] Have a listen to the Heartbroken and Heartfelt response track.
[10:32] You're embarrassing.
[10:34] When you first left me, I cried all night.
[10:38] I held your photo to my heart quite tight and set candles alight.
[10:44] With everything I did, I wished you were there.
[10:48] No, I didn't.
[10:48] I really miss your care and I've kept some of your hair.
[10:53] That's a bit weird.
[10:55] I am so lost, it's true.
[10:57] Look at your photos is all I do.
[10:59] And out of milk cartons, I've made it all of you.
[11:02] Now that's very weird, mate.
[11:04] You're the best girl I've ever known.
[11:06] I've kept your voice messages on my telephone.
[11:09] And I watch you with binoculars when you're alone.
[11:12] Now that's version of criminal.
[11:20] I can't stop crying.
[11:22] He's like David from Big Brother.
[11:23] And all I do is eat ice cream.
[11:27] You're fatty.
[11:28] You're in my every dream.
[11:30] And I hope I don't sound too keen.
[11:32] You do sound keen.
[11:33] Fuck up, mate.
[11:34] We're going to Spearmint Rhino.
[11:36] Snap out of them.
[11:37] There you go.
[11:38] Thank you very much for joining us, Lily Allen.
[11:40] The CD is All Right, Still, and the single is Smile.
[11:45] Thanks for joining us on the Hamish Nandy Show.
[11:46] Sorry, are you meant to pronounce it All Right Still?
[11:48] It's just meant to be All Right Still.
[11:50] All Right Still.
[11:52] Still is something that kids in the UK use to just say, like, cool, isn't it?
[11:56] So you're like, how's that sandwich?
[11:58] Yes, All Right Still.
[11:59] That's how it's.
[11:59] Really?
[12:00] It remains all right.
[12:03] It was cool, but I regret to inform you that it is now no longer cool.
[12:08] It's the opposite of that.
[12:09] Thanks for joining us on the Hamish Nanny Show, Lily.
[12:12] I mean, first of all, the audio is outstanding.
[12:14] Yeah.
[12:15] I mean, the... Because this is the old... Well, close to the oldest we go back...
[12:20] This is where we, the first podcast.
[12:22] I mean, at least they had some reason to make.
[12:24] Yeah, that's a good, it's actually better than I remembered.
[12:27] I thought we just made them.
[12:28] We're not saying it's good.
[12:29] We're not saying it's good, Mike, just to be clear.
[12:32] But like at least there was a reason to play someone a song.
[12:35] Yes.
[12:35] Rather than just, hey, have a listen to my song.
[12:37] Here's a funny thing we did.
[12:39] I mean, very high for you two.
[12:40] Like it was a good high, you gave it your all.
[12:44] Gave it your all.
[12:45] Then after that,
[12:47] is when Lily left and had a concert that night in the laneway.
[12:50] What I can't believe is that you had a romantic dalleance with her after that performance from us.
[12:59] But the strange thing was you couldn't come to the gig with me because I think you had something on.
[13:08] And so I went to the gig with Haydo.
[13:11] Yep.
[13:12] Funny.
[13:12] That was my housemate at the time.
[13:14] Your housemate at the time.
[13:16] And sitting at the back of this gig, like it's in a laneway, 300 people deep, no one could see.
[13:22] And then Lily on stage said, I met someone who I thought I fancied today.
[13:27] Does anyone know Hamish and Andy?
[13:30] And there was… I was like, hey, man.
[13:32] The pudgy one.
[13:35] But it was a kind of surreal moment because they said, well, this song's for Andy.
[13:39] And then this person was on a big box of crates next to me and said, looked down and said, that's you.
[13:44] And I said, yeah.
[13:46] And they said, let's swap.
[13:47] So I got to stand on this huge box of crates in the middle of the laneway as Lily said the song.
[13:52] And then, yeah, we did sneak a kiss later on and then obviously she went on to Hollywood.
[13:57] But you...
[13:57] Consider yourself wingmanged, my friend.
[13:59] I think you get wingmanged.
[14:01] Anyone know Hamish and Andy?
[14:02] Wingman mentioned first.
[14:05] Hamish the pathway to Andy.
[14:07] I wouldn't take credit for that unless I felt it was due.
[14:11] And I do.
[14:12] And I will.
[14:12] And I shall.
[14:13] And you're welcome.
[14:14] Good remembering.
[14:14] Good remembering.

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