# Pat Your Head

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 9 Nov 2020, 17 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/afee2tfw1kvdj1wjr0jze7fi.mp3

Hamish & Andy have attempted some very ambitious phone topics over the years, none more so than this one in 2009 with a game that literally stopped traffic. The boys also recall a pretty unfair prank they played on Glenn Robbins and feel that Glenn had every right to be a little pissed off about it. Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 1, Episode 10.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 2nd of April.
[0:37] OK, then.
[0:38] It's Hamish go.
[0:39] Let's kick this off and find out what years Hamish will take us back to and see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:47] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:54] All right, Ando, 2nd of April.
[0:55] Ready to remember?
[0:57] Very, very, very, very ready.
[0:59] Got your remembering hats on.
[1:00] The most ready I could be.
[1:02] Was it a popular day?
[1:04] Quite popular.
[1:04] Quite popular.
[1:05] I think too far away usually from Easter.
[1:09] You're not going to run into the Easter break.
[1:11] You realise going back through these dates, like there were some parts of the year we just did a lot of shows and other parts you're at risk of running into a holiday.
[1:18] I was tempted to go back to 2007, which is some of our earlier years.
[1:22] But as we've mentioned before,
[1:24] the chances of us having the audio from 2007 are a bit of a crapshoot.
[1:29] Yeah.
[1:30] You don't know if you're going to have it or not.
[1:31] What was it?
[1:32] What break in particular?
[1:33] Well, I was just like, I'd like to go back and hear just some more random stuff, you know, not the classic.
[1:41] We like – we've played some of the classic memories.
[1:43] We'll cover, I'm sure, some of the classic memories on this show.
[1:46] Yeah.
[1:46] But there was a moment in 2007, we're on the 2nd of April, we talked to someone called Stacey who'd served Elle McPherson a sandwich.
[1:53] What?
[1:54] And I just thought, well, that's not one that we remember when we're having a beer.
[1:58] We remember the bigger things, like the trips and, you know, the classic moments from Radio.
[2:02] But you don't often go, remember that call from the girl who says it served John McPherson's sandwich?
[2:08] From what I can tell from the run sheet, bad note-taking too back in 2007.
[2:10] It's like thin on the ground, the notes.
[2:12] But it seemed like we were talking to people that had served...
[2:16] A celebrity.
[2:17] A celebrity.
[2:17] Yep.
[2:18] That was good for eight minutes of radio.
[2:20] Oh, probably and then some.
[2:22] Probably a hook across the hour.
[2:23] Oh, yeah.
[2:24] We've got an even bigger celebrity that got served a hot chocolate straight after this.
[2:27] Guess who got a Greek yogurt with some useli in it after this?
[2:31] I reckon now even just saying it out loud, weren't we on someone watch, like McConaughey watch or something?
[2:38] Oh, yeah, we were.
[2:39] Because McConaughey was...
[2:40] I don't think it was McConaughey though.
[2:42] No, it was Cage Watch.
[2:43] It was Nicolas Cage.
[2:44] That's right, Cage Watch.
[2:45] Nicolas Cage was in Melbourne.
[2:46] Yes.
[2:46] Making Ghost Runner.
[2:48] Ghost Rider.
[2:49] Ghost Rider?
[2:50] Is that a film?
[2:50] He did do Ghost Rider.
[2:52] Yeah, yeah.
[2:52] He filmed that in Melbourne, Mike.
[2:53] Oh, I did not know that.
[2:54] Well, you were five years old.
[2:57] Yeah, so we were on Cage Watch because there'd been rumours of Nicolas Cage walking around doing things like buying a focaccia and all sorts of crazy stuff.
[3:04] Yes.
[3:05] And that's why I think we were… It was so exciting.
[3:07] We were like, all right, are you in hospo?
[3:09] Have you served a celebrity food?
[3:11] I reckon that's where the Elle Macpherson sandwich story came from.
[3:15] As good as it is, it's now lost momentarily to the annals of time because we don't have…
[3:22] all the audio from those early days.
[3:23] No, but thank you for people reaching out to say, I've actually recorded that podcast and kept it archived.
[3:28] We're slowly building.
[3:30] Rebuilding that archive, but it's like an air crash investigation.
[3:34] We are piecing it together bit by bit.
[3:37] All right, so then you fast forward to 2008.
[3:40] Obviously, 2007 were early days.
[3:41] We're finding our feet.
[3:42] That's why we're clutching at straws.
[3:44] Like, we can't really have Elle Macpherson on, so we're talking about the time she got a sandwich.
[3:48] By 2008?
[3:49] Mm-hmm.
[3:50] According to the run sheet I've got on 2nd of April, we had a little bit more clout.
[3:54] We were able to get the stars in.
[3:56] Because that day we had Jason Coleman in to talk about the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance.
[4:02] Jason Coleman was a...
[4:04] He was big for a bit.
[4:05] He was huge.
[4:06] So you think a dance was huge?
[4:07] He was one of the hosts to see if he can dance.
[4:09] I can see Mike Glazing.
[4:10] It's another celebrity from the mid-2000s that I've never heard of.
[4:14] I'm sorry.
[4:14] He was also, though, a very good sport.
[4:16] I'm going to put Coleman up there.
[4:17] Yeah, he was.
[4:19] He was.
[4:19] Happy to play the game.
[4:20] If we ever needed like a celebrity for a joke, not a joke celebrity, very different, a celebrity for a joke.
[4:26] He was also aware he could play both roles.
[4:29] On a Venn diagram, you could find him in the middle of two circles.
[4:33] He was happy to come forth and I rate him for that.
[4:35] Yeah, have a bit of a giggle.
[4:36] Yeah.
[4:36] Guess what game we played with him.
[4:39] It's not a goodie.
[4:40] No, it wouldn't be.
[4:40] It'd be a pun on his name.
[4:42] What was it?
[4:43] Cold man or hot man?
[4:44] No, no.
[4:45] It was so you think you're called Vance.
[4:47] Oh, no.
[4:48] So you think you're called Lance.
[4:49] I think it was so you think you're called Lance.
[4:50] Yeah.
[4:51] And I… My guess is we just have a bunch of people up on the phone that were either called Lance or not called Lance.
[4:58] I'd listen to that.
[4:59] I mean, it's not the worst thing we've done on the show, but I was like, I don't know if I'm…
[5:03] It was one of those ones where you see it on the run sheet and you go, I think if we went back, it would very much just meet expectations.
[5:07] I think we would just hear three men, one of whom is Lance.
[5:13] Fast forwarding, 2013 was the Donut episode of the Business Brunch.
[5:17] That's the show we were doing that year.
[5:18] Not about it.
[5:19] I think that was, according to the run sheet, it was suggested by Glenn Robbins that we do an episode on Donuts.
[5:24] Oh, right.
[5:24] But I didn't see anything like rock solid that was – Well, there's some interesting stuff in there, but I wasn't.
[5:30] Best friend of the show, Glenn Robbins.
[5:32] Yeah, he was.
[5:33] Do you know how he got – Yeah, he came in when someone – you pretended you were sick or something.
[5:38] I reckon it was the harshest thing we've ever done to someone.
[5:41] We used to say good friend of the show to McAuliffe, Steve Curry and Glenn Robbins.
[5:45] Yeah, that's right.
[5:46] And we're like, well, who's the best friend?
[5:47] Yeah, that's right.
[5:48] And we ran a trick where Hamish is all of a sudden sick, can't come in.
[5:53] We sent a text message to three of them.
[5:55] Whoever got in first, Hamish was hiding under the desk.
[5:59] We would go, congratulations, stand up and clap and pop some streamers.
[6:03] We slugworthed him.
[6:04] It was like at the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where he's like, doesn't take the gobstopper.
[6:08] From memory, McAuliffe was shooting something.
[6:10] Steve was late to get back to us.
[6:11] But Glenn was like, oh, gosh, yeah, I'd love to help out.
[6:13] Sorry.
[6:14] And he, like, stopped his day, came straight in.
[6:19] With an IV drip hanging out of his arm in hospital gear with the admission bracelet on.
[6:23] It's like, well, you know, I was meant to be getting medical treatment today, but if you need me, I'm here.
[6:26] Ha, ha, ha.
[6:28] A few weeks later, he did fill in for real.
[6:31] Yeah, it was really sheepishly ringing him back because we had to go.
[6:35] No tricks.
[6:36] But, yeah, when he came in and you came from underneath the desk and popped champagne or whatever, he still didn't really get it and then left kind of a bit annoyed, which is fair enough.
[6:48] No, it wasn't.
[6:49] It wasn't.
[6:50] I guess being crowned the best friend of the show wasn't enough to really smooth over the annoyance of that day.
[6:55] Yeah.
[6:56] But that's kind of annoying friends we are.
[6:58] That's true.
[7:00] Hey, so 2009 is the year I've picked.
[7:02] Great.
[7:02] Because something momentous happened on that day.
[7:04] We did something for the first time that became a staple.
[7:09] Oh, wow.
[7:09] It became a landmark of the show.
[7:11] But before we get to that, I just want to play you one bit.
[7:14] From the same show?
[7:14] From the same show because I was looking at this run show and I was like, oh, I remember that competition.
[7:17] We did a thing with an airline, Jetstar.
[7:21] Oh, yes.
[7:22] Low-cost ambassadors.
[7:23] Oh, it's our best opener of all time.
[7:24] I wanted to play the opener.
[7:26] So the idea was teams of people, we were sending them around the world on cheap flights and you had to be an ambassador for Australia in the other country but a low-cost ambassador.
[7:36] So we're just sending you to do low-cost things because you're on low-cost flights.
[7:39] And they're in different countries?
[7:40] I think people were in Thailand and all sorts of different places.
[7:42] Yeah, right.
[7:43] But the opener.
[7:44] Yes.
[7:45] Just for our own amusement.
[7:46] So we're all so proud of this.
[7:47] Usually, Mike, would you be given that title?
[7:50] Low Cost Ambassador.
[7:51] So you're like, okay, what's a song?
[7:53] What's like a jingle you could come up with using those words?
[7:56] Can you think of anything to put your head?
[7:57] No, not off the top of my head.
[7:59] Nothing springs to mind when you think Low Cost Ambassador?
[8:04] Literally, my mind is empty.
[8:06] Right.
[8:07] Is there a song with those words?
[8:08] Well, I think you're about to hear there's a really obvious choice.
[8:13] Hey, Mr. Andy, it's not even your home there.
[8:27] The jingle for our low-cost ambassadors.
[8:35] It's as good as I remember it.
[8:37] Still our pants.
[8:38] That's way better than I remember it.
[8:41] The gusto.
[8:41] How's the gusto?
[8:43] So much gusto.
[8:44] Can we hear it again?
[8:45] I also just loved the tailing at Ambassador.
[8:49] It's just still there coming in the background.
[8:51] I want to hear it again.
[8:53] Yeah, go for it.
[8:53] Hey, mission Andy's low cost.
[8:57] Ambassador.
[9:00] The Venga Papadichewa Low-cost ambassadors Hey Mr. Danny, driving you home there.
[9:10] The jingle for our low-cost ambassadors.
[9:14] That was easily the funnest part of the segment because I think the rest of it was just checking in with people.
[9:19] Yeah.
[9:20] Oh, on that same show, Andrew.
[9:22] Yeah.
[9:23] On that same show.
[9:24] Off the height.
[9:25] We would have been running a high off that.
[9:28] What else can we do on radio this afternoon?
[9:30] We would have been thinking.
[9:30] I'll tell you what we thought we could do is we started a segment that connected single people.
[9:38] Oh, singling you know it, pat your head?
[9:39] It was the start of singling you know it, pat your head.
[9:42] On the other side of this, we will fire up what I think, I believe from the run sheet to be the genesis of that idea that ran for years.
[9:49] Yeah.
[9:50] Now, I reckon we did a segment on the show that eventually became known as if you're singling you know it, pat your head.
[9:55] We would put the call.
[9:56] Couldn't do it these days.
[9:57] No.
[9:57] Mainly because too many people listen to Spotify.
[10:00] Like you required a lot of people listening to the radio.
[10:03] It involved if you were driving home from work.
[10:05] Yeah.
[10:06] and stuck in traffic and you were single, pat your head.
[10:08] I mean, Tinder connected people better than this.
[10:12] This is our first attempt.
[10:13] This is our attempt.
[10:14] Before Tinder, before podcast.
[10:16] So we were like, pat your head if you're single, look around.
[10:20] Safely.
[10:21] Yes, safely.
[10:22] See if anyone else is patting their head and you guys will know you're single.
[10:26] You might be living in the same area because you're commuting in the same direction and you have similar tastes because you're listening to the same radio show.
[10:33] Give them a nod and that nod was meant to say, okay, let's pull over together in a safe spot.
[10:39] And then exchange numbers.
[10:41] Exchange numbers.
[10:42] But call us and we can talk about the transaction of that you've found someone through a radio segment live while driving.
[10:49] At that time, it was the most convenient way to meet someone.
[10:51] I understand, again, Tinder has smoothed out some of those barriers.
[10:55] It's a little seamless, a little more seamless.
[10:58] Anyway, I don't even know if it was called, if you're single, you know it, Pat, you had the first time we did it.
[11:01] Maybe not.
[11:02] So this is the genesis.
[11:05] The 2nd of April, 2009.
[11:06] Hamish and Andy driving you home, and on 131060, we're in the middle of an interesting experiment, a new system out today, Ham, where single people can buy a badge.
[11:19] We thought.
[11:20] It says, yes, I'm single.
[11:22] So other people see the badge and go, great.
[11:24] The badge costs $23.
[11:25] That's a red box.
[11:26] It's the size of a 20-cent piece.
[11:27] Let's do it for free.
[11:28] We thought, live experiment.
[11:30] Everyone start patting their head if they're single.
[11:32] Now, still keep patting.
[11:33] I mean, the experiment's still going.
[11:36] I know for a fact we've got people, Kenny's sitting by the side of the road.
[11:39] He's patting his motorbike helmet.
[11:41] He said he's going to keep doing it until he sees a single girl patting her head.
[11:45] The idea being.
[11:46] He does look a little bit like a crazy guy to stop at the side of the road.
[11:48] Sure, to everyone else, but if they're listening to the show at all.
[11:50] make sense they'll know and you know they're the people you've got common interest with because you're both listening to the same radio show on 13 10 60 if you have padded your head if you've made eye contact with someone else patting their head you've both given the eyes of let's safely pull over we're asking you to call this is exciting did it work Luciana did it work for you
[12:08] It did, yes.
[12:09] And run us through what's happened.
[12:10] Are you standing next to your new boyfriend?
[12:14] Well, it's actually a girl.
[12:17] Great.
[12:17] So you were patting your head and you looked over and someone else was patting their head.
[12:20] I pulled over and we had a bit of a laugh about it.
[12:23] Oh, great.
[12:23] So you've made a friend.
[12:24] So you've made a new friend.
[12:26] I've made a friend.
[12:27] You said to go for someone you're normally interested in, so I thought, why not try?
[12:31] Why not jump the fence?
[12:33] It's working on Home and Away.
[12:34] This is terrific.
[12:35] Maybe you guys can go, like, it could be the whole new Sex in the City type thing, you guys, you know.
[12:40] You've got a good single friend that you can get out there with.
[12:43] Well done, Luciana.
[12:44] Bec, run us through how the padding of the head went for you.
[12:49] That's so funny.
[12:49] I'm just driving along.
[12:50] I'm like, oh, what the hell?
[12:52] Padding my head and then I see his thigh in a van, in a white van, and he's coming to his head and it was going slowly through the, like, lights.
[13:00] And he's pointed out the window and I've just started pissing myself laughing.
[13:04] So there's a guy in a white van that was patting his head, but you guys haven't had it safe enough to pull over.
[13:10] No.
[13:11] Were you going the same way or were you passing each other?
[13:13] I was passing each other.
[13:15] If the guy in the white van who might have seen Beck and had a laugh... Should he spin around and chase you, Beck?
[13:20] Were you interested?
[13:20] No.
[13:22] No.
[13:22] Well, it's a bit hard in peak out traffic.
[13:24] It is hard, but he could call us, 131060, if we could locate the guy in the white van.
[13:28] Sarah, thank you.
[13:29] Hold tight, Bec.
[13:30] Sarah on 131060, the patting of the head mightn't have gone as well for you.
[13:34] No, I got rejected.
[13:35] What do you mean rejected, Sarah?
[13:38] How?
[13:39] Well, I was sort of patting my head and so was he.
[13:42] And then...
[13:43] But we were sort of doing it really like in a subtle way.
[13:46] Yeah, play it cool, play it cool.
[13:49] I rolled my window down and I went to indicate to a pullover.
[13:52] And he saw me and he saw me patting my head as well and just laughed and kept driving.
[13:56] What a jerk.
[13:56] Oh, that's a jerk.
[13:57] He's a jerk, Sarah.
[13:58] You're better than that.
[13:58] Hey, Sarah, you're better off with that.
[14:00] out here.
[14:01] I mean, this isn't...
[14:02] He stole from you.
[14:03] He was so harsh.
[14:04] You know, you've got to do that for you.
[14:06] He's got issues you don't need.
[14:08] Elisa on 131060.
[14:11] Tell us, Elisa, how the padding of the head went for you.
[14:14] Well, it was the people next to me.
[14:15] I pulled up at the lights at Heathcote and this guy sitting there in the right-hand lane patting his head.
[14:20] Yeah.
[14:21] And then the girl in front of me, a pea platter, was patting her head.
[14:24] So we inched up towards her and they sort of, I don't know what they said, but
[14:28] All of a sudden, she's yelling out her mobile number.
[14:30] He yells out, sweet, and then they both drive off.
[14:33] Hang on.
[14:34] It worked.
[14:34] But you got cut up.
[14:36] Why didn't they call us?
[14:38] I mean, they're obviously listening to the show.
[14:40] They're doing it.
[14:41] I know.
[14:41] They've cut out the middleman.
[14:43] We're looking for success stories.
[14:44] They're so in love, they can't even be bothered ringing to say, thanks for setting it up.
[14:47] They've cut out the middleman.
[14:48] And I can't believe Elisa has been beaten to the punch by another car.
[14:53] It was so successful that now there's competition out there with the head patters.
[14:58] That's amazing.
[14:59] We might have to do it again someday.
[15:00] I think we might have to do the head.
[15:02] It's a great way to meet people.
[15:03] Yes, it is.
[15:04] Everyone's coming together.
[15:05] For a weekend as well, giving you enough time to set up the day.
[15:08] Thursday night's perfect.
[15:09] Play it cool tomorrow.
[15:10] Saturday morning.
[15:11] Hey, what are you up to this weekend?
[15:12] Good save us and Andy driving you home.
[15:16] That was great to listen back to.
[15:18] No wonder we did it again because that's one of those rare times in Radio Mike where it worked.
[15:23] Yeah, you can try things like that, Mike.
[15:25] We might find them on this show and just a lot of, you know.
[15:30] It's always a gamble with anything live where you're kind of putting your complete trust in the public.
[15:36] Like there's very – I think even these days there's a very real chance you just come back going, okay, well, we haven't got any calls, but if it did work for you, you know, text us and we'll read those out next hour and then you just never get round to it.
[15:48] Like in 10 years on, do you feel like people would be comfortable pulling over?
[15:52] And I don't know.
[15:52] It just seems...
[15:54] I don't know.
[15:54] But like I remember, I think my mum had something similar to this once on a radio show where they were like... She was patting her head?
[16:01] No, if you get out of your car...
[16:02] Does your dad know?
[16:04] Go in a white van, pulled over and just kidnapped her.
[16:07] No, they were like, if you run around your car, we'll give you a $50 petrol voucher.
[16:11] So she did that one.
[16:12] Yeah.
[16:12] But they don't really happen these days, do they?
[16:14] No, there's less audience interactions.
[16:17] You know how to make traffic nuisance.
[16:20] It reminds me of back in the day, Rove did a thing where he had a camera set up in Sydney
[16:28] And it was like Circular Quay, I think, and it was like looking at the north side of Sydney.
[16:34] And it was like, hey, if you're listening to the show, flick your lights on and off.
[16:37] Oh, yeah.
[16:37] And we'll get everyone flicking their lights on and off.
[16:39] And that is a big gamble because it's, you know, you're really setting yourself up to go, I might be proving here that around that area of Kirribilli, I'm not a popular show.
[16:50] And there was, you know, one light started sort of going on and off and they were just like,
[16:54] The relief was huge.
[16:56] And I was just zooming in on that balcony in an apartment building just to get that one light.
[17:01] But that's the danger.
[17:03] Mate, no wonder we did that.
[17:04] It was a great segment.
[17:05] It probably actually never got, you know, I remember we had our ups and downs, but there were definitely weeks where it was light on.
[17:10] If people are still together, is there any chance someone is still together from a single note about your head?
[17:15] Hit us up.
[17:16] Flick your lights on and off right now.
[17:18] Hit us up at amishaddy.com.
[17:19] Great remembering, mate.

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