# “Happy Birthday Andy” is born

An episode of [Hamish & Andy Plus +](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1616749262), 22 Jan 2025, 21 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/l9ptb9gphguol5tkdahq3asm.mp3

Andy reveals one of the downsides of being friends with Hamish, you can mention one thing in passing and Hamish will use it against you for years to come! Plus the guys go back to a very funny moment in time, when Hamish’s housemate Haydo had a crush on a woman who worked at the local homewares store…!! Hamish & Andy's Remembering Project. Season 6, Episode 9.

## Transcript

[0:02] A listener production.
[0:06] Wilhelm, this is our remembering project.
[0:08] Yep, where a random day of the year is selected and we look up the run sheets from all our shows from across the years to find any we did on that day.
[0:17] Over 20 years, that's about 2,500 shows and roughly 26,000 talk breaks.
[0:22] Today, we pick one.
[0:24] One talk break only and try to remember what happened based on what was written down on the run sheet from that day.
[0:29] As always, we've got podcast Mike with us here for any technical stuff.
[0:32] Hello.
[0:32] Mike, what date was randomly chosen today?
[0:35] It's the 20th of May.
[0:37] OK, that's Andy's go then.
[0:38] Let's kick it off and find out what years Andy will take us back to and we'll see if we remember anything from those years.
[0:47] This is Hamish and Andy's Remembering Project.
[0:54] Hey, plenty of fun things to choose from.
[0:56] In later years is when you ramped up how much I loved my birthday.
[1:00] And it's around then, so generally... What do you mean birthday week?
[1:04] Yeah, yeah.
[1:05] But earlier on, that wasn't a thing.
[1:07] It wasn't a thing, no.
[1:07] But then it became apparent that you secretly wanted everyone to celebrate your birthday all the time.
[1:13] And saying that you don't celebrate birthdays was a cry for help.
[1:16] Because I remember one year, we did something, a pretty big thing every day for your birthday week.
[1:22] Well, yeah, I mean, you, I don't... You weren't here for strippers once with someone dressed as Daenerys Targaryen?
[1:27] Yes.
[1:29] Do you remember that?
[1:32] Yes.
[1:32] Can't be cancelled, can't be cancelled, can't be cancelled.
[1:36] About being friends with you is one of the things that is, there's a lot of good things, but one bad thing is you can mention something in passing.
[1:45] Yep.
[1:46] And that becomes a theme to annoy me in this case.
[1:51] So we don't really celebrate birthdays in my family was the sentence I said once, which we don't.
[1:58] All I'm doing is I'm just playing it how I see it, Andy.
[2:01] And suddenly it's now the most commonly said thing to me when I'm in the street.
[2:05] Happy birthday, Andy.
[2:06] You do go on about it a lot, don't you?
[2:09] For no reason other than to annoy me.
[2:11] What it has done, you start in this running joke,
[2:14] is people will write happy birthday on a lot of my posts and in the street and so on.
[2:19] It fishes out the acquaintances or friends that actually don't really know my birthday but see it on a post and think they've missed it.
[2:26] So suddenly, you know, Ed Cavill, I'm like, oh, happy birthday.
[2:29] I'm like, yeah, we're friends, not close enough for you to know my birthday.
[2:33] Close enough to follow me?
[2:34] You're about six months old.
[2:36] Not close enough to know the joke.
[2:38] So I'm going to work backwards.
[2:40] 2014?
[2:40] Yep.
[2:43] We went to my brother's workplace with a bike.
[2:45] Can you remember why?
[2:46] Yeah.
[2:49] God, that was good.
[2:50] That was, was that business brunch or happy hour days?
[2:53] Yeah.
[2:53] I think it was business.
[2:55] When we were doing that sort of one hour a day.
[2:58] Wasn't it to do a jump?
[2:59] It was to do a jump.
[3:00] Because I remember he worked in the city.
[3:01] He worked at an ad agency in Melbourne.
[3:04] And we pulled him out of work to set up the jump.
[3:08] Yeah.
[3:08] We had no problems back in the day.
[3:10] And I realize now that we really thought the show was everything and everyone had to stop everything.
[3:15] Anytime we asked.
[3:16] Yeah.
[3:17] It was like a presidential motorcade through the city.
[3:20] Well, we know you're all busy, but it's the president.
[3:22] Yes.
[3:23] So...
[3:24] We discovered that when my ruptured urethra, which we talked about at times, was because of the fact that my brother put an extra brick underneath the plank and said, you go first, Andy, because that's what older brothers do and we'll test it out.
[3:37] It was too high and I knackered myself and then I had to have two surgeries later.
[3:45] So we went, we burst in on his work office and he doesn't run or anything, he's just an employee.
[3:49] We dragged him out.
[3:50] Where's Cam?
[3:51] Two guys with microphones dragged him out of the building saying, make up for this man's busted dick.
[3:56] Yes.
[3:56] Essentially.
[3:58] Four bricks, one plank.
[4:00] And he had to jump it.
[4:01] And he had to jump it.
[4:02] We thought he'd push back on it.
[4:03] We were still arguing about it.
[4:05] And he nailed it.
[4:06] He just came straight down, jumped it, threw the bike on the ground, went back to work.
[4:09] Yeah, I remember him like it was a real Evel Knievel what nailed it, walk off.
[4:13] Yes.
[4:14] So that actually I remember being underwhelming.
[4:18] The lead up was fun.
[4:19] Yep.
[4:19] But Cam did it easily and wandered back inside.
[4:23] Bike jumps on radio are underwhelming.
[4:27] 2011.
[4:29] The phone topic was, what's more fun to knock over, a sandcastle or dominoes?
[4:34] Oh, that's good.
[4:35] I'm not sure which way it went.
[4:37] We're not listening back to it.
[4:38] Do you know what?
[4:39] I don't mind that as a selection for a phone topic.
[4:41] I think you hear worse stuff these days on radio.
[4:43] I agree.
[4:44] I would say dominoes.
[4:46] Definitely dominoes.
[4:47] I mean, there is a right and a wrong.
[4:49] But I don't know who would say sandcastle.
[4:53] Impossible.
[4:53] To be honest, impossible sandcastle can give you that much pleasure.
[4:57] You can get world records for dominoes.
[4:59] That's what I think.
[5:00] So maybe I'll take it back.
[5:01] Maybe it's not a very good fun topic.
[5:04] We have someone on the show in 2010 where I'm like, I cannot remember having this person on at all.
[5:08] Yeah, that's not unusual for me.
[5:11] If I was to say to you… Oh, there's no way.
[5:14] Whatever you're about to say, you've got such a low percentage chance of getting this.
[5:17] Okay, I'll make it a 50-50 then.
[5:19] Did we have Brad Pitt on?
[5:21] No.
[5:22] Or Bradley Cooper on?
[5:24] Cooper.
[5:25] Cooper.
[5:25] Yep.
[5:25] Correct.
[5:27] Do you remember having Bradley Cooper on?
[5:29] That's a big enough star that I vaguely remember it.
[5:32] But this was pre-Hangover, I reckon.
[5:36] 2010, yeah.
[5:37] And definitely pre-whatever we did with Lady Gaga.
[5:42] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Star is Born.
[5:43] Star is Born.
[5:45] Coop's, I think, we reached Maximum and Cooper, didn't we get Star is Born?
[5:49] But generally, the only time we got big stars on was before they were big stars, and they've done a film that hasn't done well in the US box office, so they must come and do Australian publicity.
[6:01] That would be sort of in that category.
[6:02] What was it for?
[6:03] So that was my next question.
[6:05] Now, Mike, before you Google it.
[6:07] Okay.
[6:09] How old were you in 2010?
[6:09] Yeah.
[6:11] Like 15, 16?
[6:12] Yeah, me too.
[6:14] This could have been, I think they could have been aiming it at a mic.
[6:19] Oh.
[6:21] It was a TV reboot.
[6:24] Oh.
[6:25] Was it Thunderbirds?
[6:27] No.
[6:29] Wow.
[6:29] I was going to say, Bradley Cooper was in the remake of Thunderbirds.
[6:32] He has hidden that well during his Oscar campaign for American Sniper.
[6:37] What a turnaround.
[6:39] No.
[6:40] The A-Team.
[6:43] Oh, yes.
[6:44] That is the kind of thing that Coops would have been in early days.
[6:47] Yeah.
[6:47] Before Hangover and then before going and doing like Silver Linings playbook and like dramatic acting.
[6:52] Yes, the A-Team.
[6:53] We also had Mr. T on a lot, but I think that was for Snickers.
[6:58] It wasn't anything to do with the AD.
[6:59] We had Mr T on more than once.
[7:01] Yeah.
[7:02] Yeah.
[7:02] So I'm not going to play it.
[7:04] I don't remember the film.
[7:05] Don't even remember having Bradley Cooper on, so I can't say that that's worth tripling down memory lane for.
[7:09] He doesn't talk about that film much these days.
[7:11] No, it hasn't come up in his top ten, I would say.
[7:15] What I want to talk about is in 2008.
[7:18] Here's one break that we're not going to listen to, but it made me laugh.
[7:22] You can now bank via text message.
[7:27] Yeah, we would have been blown away by that.
[7:29] Isn't that incredible?
[7:30] We do a whole break blown away that you can do banking via text message.
[7:36] Online banking hadn't happened.
[7:38] You didn't have apps yet.
[7:39] You had a checkbook for a long time.
[7:40] I had a checkbook for a long time.
[7:42] Andy had a checkbook for a long time.
[7:43] You might even still have one.
[7:44] I have a checkbook still.
[7:46] I haven't written a check for about five years, except for when we lost that bet and I decided to pay it by a check on behalf of you and I's to annoy my friend, Tom.
[7:57] Yeah, that was good.
[7:58] But yeah, that would have blown your mind, you sitting there with your quill and your ink pad and your checkbook.
[8:05] How are you banking via text message anyway?
[8:07] I don't know how that even worked.
[8:09] Is that just like, you know, like where you can do easy pay now or pay ID, that kind of thing you can do these days?
[8:14] It's just an early version of that.
[8:16] text the number and... Yeah.
[8:18] It wasn't just if you happen to know your bank manager.
[8:20] Like, hey, Frank, can you put 50 bucks into Andy's account?
[8:25] We'll never know because we're not listening to it.
[8:28] Hey, this is one that...
[8:29] It's a bit of a journey, I'm told, by Marshy, but worthwhile because these are the stories I loved about our lives at the time.
[8:37] 2008, you're living with your housemate, Haydo, John, and I was living with Hogs.
[8:44] And so housemate stories of this crazy time where our job was to go in and be on the radio, so all you did was talk about your lives and ring in friends and their lives and really had –
[8:56] No respect for anyone's privacy because you had to do two hours a day of the show.
[9:00] There was a bit of blowback from time to time.
[9:02] Yes, and occasionally you'd get in trouble with your mates, but that's when you got them front row tickets to Canada vs. America playing ice hockey at Broad Labour Arena or something.
[9:12] Brad Cooper presents the A-Team.
[9:15] Yeah.
[9:16] Hato had a crush on the lady from the Homeware store.
[9:20] Oh, great.
[9:20] The banana lamp.
[9:21] Yeah, I remember this.
[9:23] Apparently, it said her sun rings up.
[9:27] Yeah.
[9:27] So I don't know what we're about to listen to here.
[9:30] I think Marshy has compiled the journey for us.
[9:34] I think her name was Rebecca.
[9:36] Could well have been.
[9:37] I mean, we're talking 16 years ago.
[9:39] And she was an elder.
[9:41] Not an elder.
[9:43] She almost was.
[9:45] Because we're talking like we would have been an older woman.
[9:47] Haydo's a bit younger than me.
[9:49] Yes.
[9:49] What year is this?
[9:50] 2008.
[9:51] Yeah.
[9:51] So I'm 27 at the time.
[9:53] Haydo's probably 24.
[9:54] 24.
[9:55] Yeah.
[9:56] So to him, a 40-year-old is an elder.
[9:59] Yes.
[10:00] Because I don't know if...
[10:01] The fact that her sons heard us and rung in.
[10:03] I don't know if this is the reveal or not because there was a homeware store near where we lived and he'd been going in to look at this lamp as an excuse to talk to her.
[10:12] Yeah.
[10:13] But because it was kind of like stuff from Indonesia and stuff from like, you know, Morocco and maybe like some lamps and you might see like incense type stuff in there, it was a dimly lit store was his argument.
[10:29] So he couldn't quite get a read on her age.
[10:31] Yes.
[10:32] And I don't know if this is this bit or not, but that's when her son rang up and said, I can...
[10:38] I think that's my mum you're talking about and I know how old she is.
[10:41] Okay, Hamill.
[10:42] Let's give a little nod to our sponsor before we jump in.
[10:45] And I'll text Haydo to make sure he's not listening to this show ever.
[10:50] Okay.
[10:52] Let's have a trip.
[10:53] Let's trip back down memory lane to see how things turned out with Haydo and the lady from the lamp store.
[11:00] Awesome.
[11:02] The 20th of May, 2008.
[11:07] And I live with two guys.
[11:09] The younger of my housemates, Hayden, he's a single man.
[11:12] And I have a feeling that I've got a feeling he's taken a fancy to somebody that works in a shop.
[11:20] Why's that?
[11:20] He's been going to a homeware.
[11:22] store near our place quite a lot recently, like rugs, ornaments.
[11:26] I've been to your house.
[11:28] It does not require any, it actually requires a lot of homewares, but it's not a thing of interest for any of you guys.
[11:33] We're getting it because Hayden's suddenly taken real shine to decking out the house in those sort of Balinese slash Japanese rubbish, right?
[11:42] And I think it's because he's got a crush on one of the ladies at the store.
[11:44] He's texted me again today going, I've just bought a banana leaf lamp.
[11:49] for the house.
[11:50] He's been back to the store.
[11:52] I think we should call him on it.
[11:53] Let's call him.
[11:54] Let's give him a call.
[11:55] I want to get to the bottom of this because I'm pretty sure it's just because there's a girl there that he's keen on.
[11:59] I love it.
[12:01] Hello?
[12:07] Hey, it's Hamish and Andy.
[12:08] How are you going?
[12:09] I'm very well, thank you.
[12:10] You bought a lamp today.
[12:12] I did buy a lamp.
[12:14] What does it look like?
[12:16] Um, it's a banana leaf lamp.
[12:18] See, that's... We don't need one of those.
[12:20] No, we don't.
[12:21] Um, but I turn it.
[12:24] I know.
[12:25] Look, Hamish has got a theory, heads.
[12:27] He thinks that you're...
[12:29] I think you're in love with one of the women at the store.
[12:34] Who is she?
[12:35] Describe her to us.
[12:36] Mate, she's a bit of a cougar.
[12:39] You know, she's a little bit older.
[12:42] She's a bit out of my league, and that's why I'm just infatuated with her.
[12:44] How old is she?
[12:46] I can't tell.
[12:47] She dresses well.
[12:48] She dresses young, but I would say 40s.
[12:52] Do you know her name?
[12:53] No, I haven't got that far.
[12:55] She doesn't have my phone number, though.
[12:56] She does?
[12:57] Why?
[12:57] Because I also panic and bought some pillows, but they're not in yet.
[13:04] You're buying things you don't need, Hayden.
[13:06] How many times have you been to the store?
[13:08] Run us through the list of things you've bought.
[13:10] Last week I bought a red lamp, which I didn't need.
[13:14] Just a bedside lamp.
[13:15] This one's now a floor-standing lamp for the living room, maybe.
[13:19] I don't know if I want a banana leaf lamp in the living room.
[13:22] Mate, you don't.
[13:23] I'll take a photo of it.
[13:24] It's awful.
[13:25] Yeah.
[13:26] I can admit that now.
[13:29] Oh, and do you know whether she's single at all?
[13:32] Oh, no.
[13:33] No, I don't at all.
[13:35] Hey, how about this?
[13:36] Hey, no.
[13:36] No, no.
[13:37] Yeah, no.
[13:38] What if we called the store and just found out for you?
[13:41] We're just going to say, hey, are you single?
[13:44] Oh, no.
[13:46] Yes.
[13:46] Yes.
[13:49] No.
[13:50] Yes, come on, huts.
[13:51] Here we go.
[13:56] Good afternoon, Goddard.
[13:57] This is Carly.
[13:58] G'day, Carly.
[13:59] It's Hamish and Andy here from the radio.
[14:02] How are you?
[14:02] Yeah, good.
[14:03] Thank you.
[14:04] Look, this is a bit of an awkward one out of the blue, but just letting you know that you're on the air.
[14:10] Oh, lovely.
[14:11] Yeah, that's okay.
[14:11] Look, I've got a friend, actually my housemate, Carly, and one of our friends frequents the store a fair bit.
[14:19] Yes.
[14:20] And he has developed somewhat of a crush on a lady, very attractive lady that works there, perhaps in her 40s.
[14:28] Is that you, Carly?
[14:30] No, it's not me.
[14:31] Does she have blonde hair by any chance?
[14:32] Possibly, yes.
[14:33] Do you know who we're talking about?
[14:34] I think it might be the owner, yes.
[14:36] Yes, he thinks it might be the owner.
[14:38] Now, what's her name?
[14:39] Her name is Rebecca.
[14:42] Rebecca.
[14:43] And is she single?
[14:45] No, she's not, unfortunately.
[14:47] Is she married?
[14:48] I don't think so.
[14:49] Yeah, she's actually away overseas at the moment.
[14:51] Yeah, he did mention that she wasn't there.
[14:54] So when you say she's not married as such, how connected is she in her non-singleton?
[15:03] I think pretty...
[15:05] I don't really discuss those details with her, but I think she does have someone overseas.
[15:10] Because Hayden, my housemate, has probably spent about $500, I think, just coming in to visit her.
[15:17] Is he wasting his money, Carly?
[15:20] I can't say.
[15:21] I'm not sure if it's a permanent thing with her and her men, but...
[15:27] Yeah, I don't know.
[15:27] I'll tell him to maybe just back it off a bit.
[15:30] Do you reckon you know the guy that we're talking about?
[15:32] There's so many guys that come in here, to be honest, but, yeah, no, I don't know.
[15:37] Do you think it's a recurring thing?
[15:38] Are more people coming in to see Rebecca than actually buy stuff, do you think?
[15:43] Than just my housemate?
[15:44] Some people do.
[15:46] Are you guys onto this phenomenon?
[15:47] Do you reckon, do you see a lot of male return customers coming in to buy sort of knick-knacks and homewares?
[15:52] Yeah, actually, we do.
[15:55] So you've got quite an attractive team.
[15:57] It's like Charlie's Angels down there working at the homeware store.
[16:00] I wouldn't go that far, but I don't know.
[16:02] Because he came in today and he bought a banana leaf lamp.
[16:06] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[16:07] I know who he is.
[16:09] Do you see him in there a lot?
[16:11] What do you think his chances are, Carly, with Rebecca?
[16:14] 10%.
[16:15] 5%.
[16:16] Maybe, I don't know, 40%.
[16:18] I'm not sure how close she is with this guy, but, yeah, I'm not sure.
[16:22] All right.
[16:22] Carly, you've been wonderful.
[16:24] Thank you so much.
[16:25] No problem.
[16:25] Thanks, guys.
[16:26] Bye.
[16:26] Bye.
[16:27] Hey, though.
[16:30] 40%?
[16:31] She said... 40%.
[16:32] How much are the numbers?
[16:35] 40% was a lot higher than I thought.
[16:37] Yeah, who was throwing out 5%?
[16:39] Cheers.
[16:41] That was same.
[16:43] Chris joins us on the line.
[16:45] Chris, how are you going?
[16:46] Not too bad, boys.
[16:47] How are you going?
[16:47] Very good.
[16:48] Chris, you're Rebecca's son.
[16:49] Yeah, last time I checked the bus, did you forget I am?
[16:52] Yes.
[16:53] Okay, Chris.
[16:54] Hold on.
[16:54] We'll get Haydo up.
[16:55] It looks like our producer's rung Haydo.
[16:57] We can conference you both.
[16:58] Haydo, how are you?
[16:59] Okay.
[17:02] What have you done?
[17:03] Nothing.
[17:04] We've done nothing, Haydo.
[17:05] Yeah, it sounds like it.
[17:06] Would you like to say hi to Chris?
[17:07] Hello, Chris.
[17:08] How are you going, buddy?
[17:09] Good, mate.
[17:09] Yourself?
[17:10] um i'm okay chris haydo has a crush on your mum yes it sounds like i just want to see which one of you is actually older though okay chris um haydo's 25 is that right uh haydo or 24 24 24 chris chris how chris how old are you 24 i'm just a tad older than that how old a bit more what are
[17:32] Oh, you know, 35 to... Oh, wow.
[17:35] Actually, 37.
[17:37] You're 37, Chris.
[17:38] How old's Rebecca?
[17:39] How old's Rebecca?
[17:40] If you don't mind us asking.
[17:42] Now, am I really going to give away my mother's age?
[17:45] Maybe.
[17:45] No, but look, if she... Don't ruin this for me.
[17:49] If she had you even very young, it's still quite the difference.
[17:55] So we can safely say, Chris, that Hayden at 24 years of age is less than half your mum's age.
[18:03] Yes.
[18:04] Would he be the youngest boyfriend that your mum might have had?
[18:07] At this moment in time, probably, but no.
[18:11] Really?
[18:12] Wow.
[18:14] Haydo, has this turned you off?
[18:15] Are you more intrigued?
[18:16] I'm very intrigued.
[18:18] Hey, Chris.
[18:18] What do you think, Chris?
[18:19] Could you welcome Haydo into the family?
[18:21] Chris, I mean, you've obviously got a very attractive...
[18:23] I don't know about into the family.
[18:25] Yeah, let's take things slow.
[18:26] Let's take things slow, you're right.
[18:27] Chris, you've obviously got a very attractive mum.
[18:29] Have you come across a situation where your friends have been attracted to your mum?
[18:33] Hang on a bit, boys.
[18:34] You should see me if you're American.
[18:36] My mum's attractive.
[18:36] Well, mate, I've got no doubt that you're hot.
[18:39] But tell us, is there a situation where your friends, you know, have thought your mum's a bit of all right?
[18:44] Of course.
[18:45] I mean, yeah, that always happens.
[18:46] But what do you do?
[18:48] I suppose you just...
[18:48] There's not much you can do about it, is there?
[18:50] Call up a radio station and confront them.
[18:53] Chris, thank you so much.
[18:55] Leave them alone.
[18:56] Haydo, final comments?
[18:59] Chris, can I get your number off air?
[19:01] Do you want to save me now?
[19:03] No, no, no, no.
[19:04] I just want to send you a couple of texts.
[19:07] Thank you, guys.
[19:08] We've got to wrap that up.
[19:10] Wow.
[19:10] I did not expect that to happen.
[19:11] So Chris is 37.
[19:13] 37.
[19:13] Which means Rebecca, Hayden's 24.
[19:16] Hayden's the baby of our household.
[19:18] He's 24.
[19:19] And it means that Chris's mum, you would say...
[19:23] Even conservatively, would be in her 50s.
[19:27] Oh well Hamish and Ernie Not for us to comment Showing a remarkable piece of constraint at the end there considering some of the stuff we hear when we listen back What a great adventure We forgot all about that Do you know Hayden What a great sport as well It was great Great man Great friend Great for content Great all round sport We were talking the other day about the banana leaf lamp It's still remembered fondly in our lives
[19:55] I'm going to put her at, I know we avoided it before, but if he's 37.
[20:00] Yeah.
[20:02] 57?
[20:03] Yep.
[20:03] Yeah.
[20:05] Yeah.
[20:05] That's fair.
[20:06] I'll play with that.
[20:07] Did anything ever happen?
[20:08] What's that?
[20:09] No, no.
[20:10] God, it was hard to top what happened on air there.
[20:13] It was just then forever talked about.
[20:15] In our household, the lighting situation of the store became a hot topic.
[20:19] Just about how dim it was and every time we'd walk past it.
[20:23] I think it was on Ackland Street in St Kilda.
[20:25] And any time walking down Ackland Street, we'd always point out very dim lighting.
[20:30] Very dim lighting.
[20:31] Very dim lighting.
[20:33] Great remembering.

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