# La pesadilla de amar sin amarme - Episodio 80

An episode of [CARAS VEMOS SUFRIMIENTOS](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1614156002), 16 May 2024, 1 h 10 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/59121669/57_la_pesadilla_de_amar.mp3

Ella es Gaby Vargas, ahora una mujer emprendedora y presidenta del Club del Círculo de Libetad fundado por Loretta Valle. Antes de juzgar, piensa si en las mismas circunstancias hubieras hecho algo distinto. GRACIAS Gaby por contar tu historia. Este programa no es terapia, si piensas que la puedes necesitar, acude a un psicólogo/a clínico o psiquiatra. Si necesitas terapia, evita aquellas personas sean youtubers, psicóologo/a de la TV y que quieran lucrar contigo. Conviértete en un supporter de este podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/caras-vemos-sufrimientos--6047464/support.

## Transcript

[0:05] Faces, do we see sufferings? We don' t know welcome to faces,
[0:18] do we see sufferings? This programme is aimed at education and documentary purposes.
[0:23] This program is not therapy. I am a psychologist, psychologist for the
[0:29] Autonomous Region of Madrid, but this program is mainly about visualizing situations and,
[0:38] above all, testimonies of overcoming. For what, for you to acquire those
[0:44] tools as well. Remember if you need a psychologist or a clinical psychologist,
[0:49] a psychiatrist. I recommend that you be a person who does not live on
[0:54] social networks why, because already the trust has been earned in another way and
[0:58] the success rate is lower with us. We have Gaby Vargas welcome. Thank
[1:06] you very much, Salvia. You told me you' ve lived or been
[1:11] dead in life because of your relationships. Yeah, what are you gone now,
[1:22] ask, start starting, you' re being reborn, no, yeah,
[1:26] at my age she' s starting to be alive, at your age,
[1:29] I' m starting to give life, my life. But before you
[1:33] start with all your situations, with all these difficult experiences, tell me a
[1:40] little bit about your childhood. What you were like when you were a kid.
[1:42] When I was a child, I was a child for abandoned dad.
[1:49] Well, even though my dad lived with us. My dad was an alcoholic
[1:56] and I' m the youngest of my brothers. My dad when I was
[2:00] born was his full stage, hard of alcoholism and I didn' t live
[2:05] with him. I had a hard childhood and because always with the absence of
[2:09] father, the absence of father, but he did not leave the house,
[2:15] truth, no, no, he did not live with us, but he
[2:19] was always absent, because he was always alcoholized. He went out at eight
[2:23] in the morning, returned at three in the afternoon, drunk, slept all
[2:27] afternoon until the other day, and so was his life from my childhood.
[2:31] So, that' s how I grew up and your mom, like my
[2:36] mom, was a submissive woman, a battered woman. He beat her a
[2:43] lot because, then, if he came home and he wasn' t going
[2:46] to eat or because if he came and she wasn' t there, because
[2:50] any little thing was a reason to hit her. I grew up living all
[2:53] that. He had his Roman brothers. Yes, yes, yes, I
[2:57] had brothers, I have brothers, because then, besides, you left,
[3:00] you were one of the people almost the head of the family. True,
[3:05] although I' m the youngest, yes, I took that role, that
[3:09] role of caring about my family. When my dad passed away, I became
[3:15] my mom' s husband. I was really worried about my mom getting through,
[3:20] because my mom didn' t work anymore. How old were you?
[3:23] Oh, when my dad died, I was sixteen, you were a teenager.
[3:29] I was a teenager, yes, so I was very worried about my
[3:35] mom' s situation, because my mom, because she sold a lot of
[3:39] things, she went out to see how she managed, but her kids had
[3:43] to have to eat. Then that was parting my soul and I took the
[3:47] role of assigning to myself the full responsibility of my family, my mother and
[3:53] my brothers. Although I was the youngest, then I began to solve my
[3:58] brothers' lives, to get a job, not to lack money in the
[4:01] house. I started working since I was very young. Thank God, I
[4:05] always went very well in my work and had good, well- paid jobs
[4:12] that gave me the opportunity to save my family economically look. I mean,
[4:18] your mom was always an example of work. Yes, yes, it was
[4:23] an example for you of love, of love because I was, because my
[4:28] brothers always tell me that you were always mother' s consent. But I
[4:31] say I earned it and from your mom that you would have liked, that
[4:35] she had overcome or not criticized her. Never, never, never, but
[4:41] what did you see in your mom, that you were deeply hurt by her
[4:46] weakness, her weakness and to endure so much physical abuse, not to put
[4:51] limits on my dad. And there came a time when he did put them.
[4:56] My dad is already very sick of alcoholism and health, also very sick
[5:00] in that since a boy we leave home. My mom decided to quit.
[5:05] We left, but I had a brother, my older brother, had a
[5:11] very serious accident and he was paralyzed and, therefore, he could not move
[5:15] from home. Then, with all the pain in my mom' s heart,
[5:18] we left him with my dad. So, my mom felt like she
[5:24] ' d abandoned her oldest son and we went, like, three years out
[5:29] of the house. And then we came back for my brother the day your
[5:33] father died. How you felt I didn' t feel I was anesthetized because
[5:44] I hadn' t lived with him and I had the absence of him.
[5:49] Your mom was in love with your dad. I think it was. Yeah,
[5:56] what do you think made him last so long with Dad,' cause
[6:00] I think he needs to be fond. But she was not fond of him
[6:06] because he abused him and his lack of character and decision to say so far
[6:14] the way of life he lived for her was already normal. She was normal
[6:19] to live like this, live in lawsuits, live beaten, live threatened,
[6:26] threats that she was going to kill her, that she was going to beat
[6:29] her. The more she was beating her up, the more I told her
[6:31] I was going to kill her. So, my mom' s always submissive,
[6:35] down. He wasn' t defending himself and you saw him filming a
[6:42] very hardworking mom, yes, and very capable. Yeah, very smart,
[6:46] very capable. Sixteen years and as many as your first job as it was.
[6:54] Yeah, I was going out looking for a job. I mean,
[6:58] he wasn' t an adult, and it' s harder to find a
[7:01] job. And I remember I went out with a group of friends and we
[7:09] went through different institutions making requests to look for work. And I was saying,
[7:15] then, whatever it is, whatever receptionist it is. But I want
[7:17] to work and I remember that my first job was between veterinary laboratories and I
[7:25] went into the Human Resources Directorate and that' s where I was taught to
[7:30] work. But there I grew up and then I changed to other jobs that,
[7:38] thanks to God, I could develop that it went well economically and I
[7:46] could to such an extent to support your family, yes, your older brother
[7:53] who was in a city of wheels, your mother, your brothers, also
[7:56] yes. I' m foursome with a man, your brother, how was
[8:03] your first relationship, because I consider it difficult now, because I was a
[8:09] girl. He was an alcoholic man, just like father alcoholic. It did
[8:18] take a lot, because I always wanted to change it. You know him
[8:26] when he was sixteen and he was twenty- two He lived nearby and introduced
[8:37] him to me, I liked him, he attracted me and we became boyfriends
[8:41] you drank. No, no, it never caught my attention Nice snow or
[8:50] smoke. It was a relationship of many years, It was a relationship of
[9:00] control, It was a relationship where there was not much communication. It was
[9:07] more of me not to feel alone, that someone had noticed me, that
[9:13] someone wanted to be with me, even if I had alcohol problems, even
[9:18] if I wasn' t the best man for me. But I didn'
[9:22] t want to be alone. I didn' t want to be alone.
[9:26] And, well, my relationship really lasted six years. In fact, very
[9:33] small. I wanted to marry him, I wanted to run away from my
[9:37] house, get out of my house. And my mom was very sad.
[9:41] Seventeen years old. I was already thinking about getting married and getting out of
[9:45] my house. And why I wanted to leave your house, because I didn
[9:48] ' t like the atmosphere and I wanted to leave. I felt that I
[9:52] was in love and that I was my ideal man and that I was ready
[9:56] to get married. You take ring with your mom. Yeah, you'
[9:58] re gonna meet your family, you' re gonna meet everybody very well,
[10:01] and because you didn' t like the mind if your dad wasn' t
[10:03] there. There was this difficult coexistence between my brothers, or like it was
[10:15] always a defensive being, like my dad left a lot, a lot of
[10:20] trait of everything that I had lived with my mom. And I want to
[10:24] get out. I don' t want to be in my house. I
[10:26] felt a void. I felt a void. There were some behaviors that your
[10:33] brothers or sisters repeated from your father. Yes, one of them, one
[10:41] of my brothers, repeated alcoholism, repeated alcoholism and now has not been relieved
[10:50] and still continues with alcoholism and drug addiction. So, then, I saw
[10:58] that my family, the environment, was still difficult, even though my dad
[11:03] was gone and in that relationship lasted six years. He proposed to me and
[11:09] I said yes. Even my mom went to ask me at her parents'
[11:18] house. And my mom, because she was very sad because, because she
[11:22] didn' t want me so small, without having lived I made that decision
[11:28] to marry. The main reason I was he had proposed to me was because
[11:33] we were going to buy a house. So he tells me we' re
[11:37] going to get married, because that' s gonna make it easier for me
[11:41] to get the loan. So I said yes, let' s get married.
[11:45] It was easy for me. And then, because the loan deal was
[11:50] already dissolved, there was no longer going to be a home. Then,
[11:54] for there was no longer a reason why I could marry him and continued the
[12:00] relationship. Without us getting married. I didn' t leave my house.
[12:03] That relationship was my first relationship and so an alcoholic man, a difficult man.
[12:13] From there I began to realize, because they always chose me. I
[12:20] didn' t choose, even though I realized I wasn' t the best
[12:24] man for my life. I wanted to go on. I wanted to go
[12:30] on. I thought I was in love, I thought he was gonna be
[12:33] happy. He was falling in love. I don' t think so,
[12:39] because it wasn' t a relationship to share, a relationship to give,
[12:46] a relationship where it made me grow rather it stuck me emotionally and I didn
[12:54] ' t have the emotional ability to tell you this. I don' t
[12:56] like it. I don' t like that you mistreat me, I don
[12:58] ' t like that you leave me flat. I don' t like you
[13:01] ignoring me. Weeks passed and he wouldn' t talk to me. I
[13:07] ' d talk to him on the phone and then I' d call you,
[13:11] tell me I' d come to your house and talk. I didn
[13:13] ' t come to my house and I was expecting it and I was suffering
[13:18] so much because I didn' t get that attention I wanted at the time,
[13:24] being with him, I know my next partner, I get caught up
[13:31] with another difficult person again, that is, being in one relationship I jump
[13:35] to another, you jump to another. At what point is there a moment
[13:37] you' re with both of us, not with other men. Besides you
[13:41] ' re not with the first one and you' re leaving with the insurance,
[13:45] there' s a time when you' re with both of us.
[13:46] At the same time, because it was hard for my first partner to tell
[13:54] him that I no longer wanted to be with him, but the time came
[13:58] when I was more attracted to my other partner I started to relate. He
[14:03] was a man who at first charmed me, filled me with gifts. He
[14:09] traveled a lot to America, brought me many gifts. And that' s
[14:13] when he started falling in love with him, knowing you had noble. That
[14:18] ' s right then, because he made me, he didn' t make
[14:22] me. I decided to leave him to be with him and how that relationship
[14:26] begins. Initially he who consented, yes, I very much consented to what
[14:31] I wanted. He gave it to me, filled me with gifts, took
[14:37] me to good places, good restaurants, good meals, because that dazzled me,
[14:41] filled me with attentions, that' s what I was looking for at
[14:46] the time. Then, with the passage of time, then, when you
[14:50] said attentions, he did, he called you all the time, he did
[14:54] look after you in excess, if he was looking after me, for I
[14:58] was already working. I was starting to wonder and where you work, what
[15:05] time you get out, what your schedule is gonna be. You have a
[15:09] boss in a woman man, how you get along with him and don'
[15:13] t get dressed like that and I don' t want you to get stuck
[15:18] at work, because it' s not right for a woman. At what
[15:20] point does positive attention go on to become negative. I believe in the moment
[15:24] that I allow myself to start questioning myself for my jobs, for my work,
[15:31] mainly where he asked me very insistently whether my boss was a woman or
[15:39] a man. For him it was very important with whom I related in the
[15:43] office, because I was part of the day in the office Another thing is
[15:48] that I saw how you were dressed? Today? I was wondering how you
[15:52] were dressed today or not? You' ll change until I' m here
[15:56] for you. I' m going to come by for you at your job
[16:00] and then I want to see how you got dressed. I couldn' t
[16:04] make up. If he saw me with my lips painted, he would make
[16:08] me take it off, or I already knew he didn' t like me
[16:11] painting my lips and I would take it off. And after the ticket there
[16:17] are features like little skins and I would check my mouth if I hadn'
[16:22] t painted myself. I never had the courage to put a limit on saying
[16:26] no, and I let that go up, increasing. On one occasion I
[16:33] remember very well that I was going out and there was a red dress that
[16:37] he had given me and it occurred to me to lend it to my cousin
[16:42] and that was true. And the dress smelled perfume, a perfume that wasn
[16:47] ' t mine. When I put it on and went out with him and
[16:51] told me this dress you already put it back where you went, who you
[16:56] went with, he made me believe that what I was telling him was a
[17:02] lie and I doubted I was really saying. Yeah, I' m telling
[17:07] the truth and it was more and more manipulation, more telling me what I
[17:14] had to do, how I had to dress, how I had to handle
[17:18] myself where I did want to work. I got to give up a very
[17:22] good company because he didn' t like me having a boss or a man.
[17:27] I decide to quit and I' m going to be in another place
[17:32] where nothing else is my boss and I' m nobody else nobody else sees
[17:37] me I don' t talk to anyone, I don' t live with
[17:40] anyone so he' s calm. For me the most important thing was his
[17:42] tranquility. Whatever I wanted, whatever I wanted, what I didn' t
[17:47] like, I put it aside. I think that' s where I started
[17:52] to become invisible and I started to die in life because I was worried that
[17:57] he wouldn' t get mad so he wouldn' t leave me and live
[18:02] together. I didn' t see they didn' t have a courtship relationship.
[18:04] Yes, we had a relationship in him lived alone and because I,
[18:08] part of the time, was at his house, but we didn' t
[18:12] live together. What was good for you to stay in that relationship that I
[18:18] would try harder and harder so that he would see me in another way,
[18:25] that he could change at some point so that he would love me and not
[18:30] control me. He distrusted me and he believed that I was with other men
[18:36] or that I was dating other men. We had a very strong argument because
[18:41] he believed where he got it. I don' t know, because I
[18:45] didn' t have friends, I didn' t have friends. Nobody was
[18:48] talking to me. I didn' t talk to anyone about him being quiet
[18:51] and telling me that he didn' t want to be with me anymore because
[18:56] I had distrust and that he didn' t live in peace, believing that
[19:00] I could be with another man that night, I cried I asked him for
[19:07] forgiveness, even if it wasn' t true. It was his imagination.
[19:11] Nothing more. Everything was in his imagination in his mind. I said,
[19:15] " Well, I' ll make you happy" I made myself sick again
[19:22] I cried. I apologized. He told me he was fine, that he
[19:26] was going to try to trust me again. And I, at that moment,
[19:33] when I stopped asking her for forgiveness and being on my knees, I
[19:37] felt very bad about myself. One of the first times I felt I was
[19:41] failing myself. It was like two months before I decided to quit and say
[19:51] I didn' t want to be with him anymore. I did it.
[19:57] I told him I didn' t want to be with him anymore to see
[20:03] that brave forgiveness, but because this time you don' t pull from one
[20:06] man to another you skip. It' s the first time you' ve
[20:07] said it. I' d rather be alone with this man. That'
[20:12] s where he gets that value. I don' t know. From myself.
[20:17] God illuminated me was already much suffering. I already felt that I was
[20:22] drowning in the anguish of being him, being pleased with everything, of minimizing
[20:30] myself, of lying to myself and letting him blame me on things I didn
[20:36] ' t do. But everything was in his mind, he was dead in
[20:38] life, he didn' t live, I lived, not for me,
[20:45] but to please him. And you didn' t have anyone, no friends,
[20:49] no friends who verbalized that to you. I mean, you came to
[20:52] that conclusion alone. I, my sister, my sister, talked a lot
[20:56] to me and she called me Gaby. I don' t think this relationship
[21:00] suits you. He doesn' t suit you. See how you are.
[21:03] You' re sad, you' re dull, you' re not smiling,
[21:10] you' re not living with the family, you' re totally isolated.
[21:11] I didn' t listen to my sister, I didn' t like
[21:14] my sister, and I kept her from telling me those things. I didn
[21:18] ' t want to hear anyone tell me I was wrong. I knew it
[21:22] was wrong, but I didn' t have the courage to recognize it.
[21:26] It came that day I recognized him. When I stopped being stuck to apologize
[21:32] so she wouldn' t leave me. I felt really bad about myself.
[21:38] It took me two months to take that courage to leave him. How was
[21:44] that moment. Or I remember that that time he came to my house with
[21:52] a new car to show off, a car he had bought, a car
[22:00] and you like it is new in is that we are going on a trip
[22:04] and I, at that time I told him, because I really like him
[22:07] for you. It' s really nice to play, but I need to
[22:11] talk to you. I don' t want to go on with you anymore.
[22:15] This relationship ended when I said. This relationship is over. I felt
[22:21] liberal at the time, although inside, because I wanted to cry and I
[22:27] ' m going to be left alone, I won' t have anyone,
[22:32] but it happened. I thought he was gonna pick me up and insist on
[22:36] coming back with me. He didn' t. From that moment he disappeared
[22:42] from the face of the earth and I never saw him again. He didn
[22:45] ' t ask you for explanations or anything, and that disappearing was a positive
[22:52] thing for you. Or did I leave you there at first I felt ugly
[22:59] because I said although I made the decision, because if I wanted you to
[23:03] come and tell me that it will change and that the relationship will be different
[23:07] and that you want to continue with me and maybe, if he had come
[23:11] back and told me that, I think I say yes, we will try
[23:14] the world? How good and I thank God he never appears again in my
[23:17] life. He was a good lover, very good. I think that was
[23:22] one of the reasons I was hooked on the relationship. I didn' t
[23:30] feel what else. It made you feel and made me feel like a woman,
[23:33] made me feel like a woman and made me feel like she liked that
[23:38] I was attractive to him. Yeah, and for me that was the most
[23:41] important thing. I feel accepted, valued that I could be attractive to someone,
[23:49] for him mainly you don' t leave him then, I leave him
[23:59] and spend time without a partner. I didn' t want to be with
[24:02] anyone and I do work. I work, I work, I take care
[24:06] of my mom, I take care of my brothers. They passed. I
[24:11] think about five years I' ve been without a partner. Loneliness was so
[24:18] lonely. I felt very lonely, but I no longer felt able to conquer
[24:22] another man. All I wanted was to work. He went to work at
[24:29] seven in the morning and left at eleven o' clock at night. I
[24:33] focused a lot on my work and I didn' t want to have time
[24:38] to think why I couldn' t relate to another couple or because I didn
[24:42] ' t want to be with another man. I didn' t want to
[24:47] suffer again what I had suffered and I said I needed time, but neither
[24:51] at that time did I seek professional help, which I think was what I
[24:56] could have done at that time, during that period of recess to relate to
[25:03] a man because you weren' t surviving, I mean, weren' t
[25:04] you living? No, I wasn' t that you were surviving, but
[25:10] that' s how to feel the beautiful things of life. I didn'
[25:14] t hardly smile. I could hardly live with my friends, very few friends.
[25:21] I had no friends, not a man coming to me, for I
[25:25] rejected him. I didn' t say no, I don' t want
[25:32] to, no, I want night that time goes by. I' m
[25:33] going to a party. My cousin invites me to a party. I know
[25:37] a man again I' m being held at that party like he was Let
[25:48] ' s visualize that situation. Man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man,
[25:48] man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man.
[25:49] Yes, a man with a few eyes, with an identical bocerron of
[25:55] my dad and when he saw me I said wow, another man has seen
[26:03] me yes or s or cases, his bocerron, his personality, a man
[26:11] already attracts because the soul of the party very cheerful, lived with everyone.
[26:18] That attracted me and captivated me. From that moment on, we went out
[26:26] again. Who called what he did. He called you. He called me
[26:30] At that party he called me Bailamos almost when he was going to finish the
[26:36] party, we danced, we exchanged phones and I said yes, he asked
[26:41] me for my phone, but I don' t think he leaves and he
[26:45] tells me what if we had breakfast tomorrow and well excited and I said he
[26:52] won' t talk to me, or he' s going to leave me
[26:56] standing already with those psychosis that I already had from my previous relationships. Well,
[27:03] I was scared. I had not overcome that fear nor knew exactly what
[27:07] had happened to me, for I followed my life to live it and yes,
[27:15] yes, we went out for breakfast and I happy brave talked to me
[27:21] if I went out with him. We kept going out because back then,
[27:27] because of his work, he didn' t live in Mexico City, he
[27:32] went and came where he lived in Veracruz, because of his work and when
[27:41] he had days off, he came to see me. And by then,
[27:47] I decide to be independent, to leave my house. Thank God my work
[27:52] was going well, I could buy an apartment, yes, a good achievement,
[27:57] I bought my everything from myself and went to live alone. Then he
[28:04] would come and go, stay with me, stay a week and return.
[28:11] I loved him. I said, this is the man of my life.
[28:17] He told me that he was separated, had children, but because he was
[28:23] no longer with his wife and the relationship, as he became closer, closer
[28:30] or closer, as I felt more and more in love, more in love.
[28:38] I began to realize, therefore, love from afar, love that you
[28:41] do not realize many things, no, but when I came in the week,
[28:45] for I, although I was with me all the time, what I
[28:52] did I asked permission in my work, I managed and I said I have
[28:57] to be with him all day, because he comes to see me, he
[29:00] comes to spend time and every time I fall in love. I fall in
[29:08] love, I fall in love, I fall in love, and I realize
[29:15] he' s a man who doesn' t know how to be with a
[29:17] single woman. How you realize that. I can tell for calls. I
[29:22] can tell because where we came to be in the house, he went out
[29:27] and talked on the phone. He was late and when he wasn' t
[29:33] here and he was at work, because in the evenings I would come and
[29:37] talk to him on the phone, he wouldn' t answer me. I
[29:38] was returning to the call until the other day and because I was beginning to
[29:44] complain and I was saying that I was asking him if there was another woman
[29:48] and he was telling me no, no. That' s how the relationship
[29:52] started. The relationship first lasted five years, yes, where I eventually saw
[30:00] it every time a month for five days. I posted pictures on social media
[30:04] of him never why never not. I know he had social networks, no,
[30:12] he doesn' t have social networks. I didn' t see him
[30:15] having an interest in formalizing with me that I told him that I wanted to
[30:22] formalize the relationship that I wanted to go where he was. I had your
[30:23] idea, I already had 30 years by then. Five years passed from that
[30:32] relationship and I put one up here. I said there' s no engagement
[30:37] and I said you know what. There' s no commitment from you.
[30:40] I don' t think we' re gonna do anything together. Bye.
[30:45] I' m done with him. I know other people with whom a one
[30:52] - year courtship lasts. He was the brother of a neighbor' s partner
[30:57] and the neighbor realized that I was alone. I' m gonna introduce you
[31:03] to my partner' s brother. He was an educated person, an intelligent
[31:11] person, prepared. I said wow, I think I got out. Lottery
[31:15] ' s got it. Everything, it' s got everything. He wasn
[31:18] ' t a jealous man, he wasn' t a unfaithful man. I
[31:22] wouldn' t tell him. I didn' t see any simple flaw and
[31:30] I just didn' t fall in love with him. There was nothing that
[31:33] attracted me. We lasted a year of courtship. I was courted by an
[31:37] educated man. He knew his family, he took me home. We lived
[31:44] together with the family. I felt like family. Yes, there was a
[31:48] family cohabitation and I liked that, because I was lacking in that. That
[31:52] caught me. He' s proposing to me. He lived in Puerto Vallarta.
[32:00] It takes me to Puerto Vallarta for an incredible evening in a beautiful restaurant.
[32:06] He gives me the engagement ring. I was excited when I gave him
[32:10] the year of buying nothing, nothing, nothing, but I said yes,
[32:15] and this is what I want. No, no, I don' t
[32:20] have a lot of mud and I feel that way where I don' t
[32:23] have any emotion, where I don' t jump with joy. I said
[32:24] yes, we got married. I wanted to please my mother that my mother
[32:31] would have dressed me in white. I wanted to give him that joy.
[32:37] I decide to prepare the wedding wedding that I paid for in most cases.
[32:45] I like my mom. After that, I took him to live in my
[32:50] apartment. I give it all on a silver platter. We lasted two years
[32:57] of marriage. I wasn' t happy because I lived in my previous relationship.
[33:02] My heart was from the previous person and one day a call grew that
[33:08] we had a mutual friend of my previous partner and tells me who you think
[33:15] is in Mexico, Santiago. My heart went like this, like this,
[33:21] like this, says Wow. Here' s your phone. If you want
[33:23] to talk to him again, I spoke to him for Telévano, I saw
[33:31] him and he had already sent him to Mexico City. I already had time
[33:37] here. I spoke to him. We met at that time, when I
[33:40] saw him again, it gave me tremendous taste. I realized that I wanted
[33:45] to stay with him and my husband at that time, after he saw him
[33:52] he arrived and asked for a divorce. Transmit my divorce in a fortnight'
[33:59] s time. I wanted to keep seeing him because I knew he was here
[34:02] in Mexico. We talked again and I told her I' m married.
[34:07] I' m getting a divorce. He tells me and I' m just
[34:09] telling you one thing. If you' re going to get a divorce,
[34:12] let it be because you' re convinced that you' re going to get
[34:15] a divorce, not because of me, because if you and I go back
[34:19] and have a relationship again, I don' t want you to blame me
[34:23] for not making it and you were clear. I was very clear about that.
[34:24] I didn' t want to go on. I wanted to try again
[34:28] to have a relationship for him I divorced, I left him and we started
[34:34] seeing each other again as lovers or as boyfriends. As lovers. A while
[34:39] goes by and I get pregnant and because I was very afraid that he would
[34:49] reject me, that he would say no, and he took it very well.
[34:53] Happy as I take it very well. He loved it, I mean,
[34:58] you must be wonderful, it' s how you look. I take
[35:00] it very well, then you' re going to be a father. I
[35:04] believe that any man you give him as a father doesn' t. I
[35:07] remember that it was his birthday on that occasion and since I gave him a
[35:15] swit, I decorated him all very well with Champagne and everything. And where
[35:21] I gave him the surprise that he was going to be a dad we had
[35:27] an amazing night and I said well, it' s good that everything goes
[35:31] well and my pregnancy and over the months, I started to have bleeding problems
[35:39] and I was, then, with abortion attempts and all my pregnancy I spent
[35:45] it lying down because I was in danger of losing my sight he came to
[35:52] live with us. My son was born and already began to hores us when
[35:55] he came to live with us, because again I began to realize infidelities,
[36:00] calls of messages and like I turned a blind eye, I will not see
[36:08] why I will have a child, because I do not want to let me
[36:14] again live for him. Yeah, I mean, my son, it'
[36:22] s also the most important thing. And my son' s gonna have a
[36:25] couple and I realized a lot of infidelities, a lot of them always denied
[36:31] it, he always told me it wasn' t true that I was wrong.
[36:36] Impressive ability to change the things I said. Yeah, she' s
[36:43] really crazy if I am, I' m crazy. Even he said to
[36:47] me when I claimed you' re crazy, that' s not true.
[36:52] You' re looking bad. My son' s born and I' m
[37:00] getting pregnant again from quarantine. She makes me pregnant again and I said no,
[37:04] because now she' s with my daughter, because I don' t
[37:06] know what' s going to happen. And it was also very well accepted
[37:08] to my daughter without any problem. Who kept your children, his dad,
[37:15] he was, he was a good provider, he' s a good promer
[37:21] ok, because my kids grew up. I said how nice he lives with
[37:28] us. They never got married I never got over it like that. I
[37:31] was fine, he was with me, I had my children and I kept
[37:37] living for him always worried where he is, who he is with. He
[37:45] ' s cheating on me, who' s talking to him, how many
[37:49] women are talking to him. All day long I lived in a stress in
[37:52] my mind what you came to do out of jealousy to see crazy eye wrong,
[37:58] but what crazy things to see. Yeah, yeah, I' ve
[38:01] done a lot of crazy things. Tell me about one of your women that
[38:07] I knew she had. He came out of his job and told me I
[38:12] had to go to another office and leave some documents. I' ll be
[38:15] back later. Your woman' s intuition tells you he' s lying to
[38:20] me. I knew where the other person I was dating lived. He said
[38:28] I' m going to his house. At the time I had a girl
[38:30] who helped me take care of my children and I was small. I went
[38:36] and yes, indeed, I was at her house. I spoke to him
[38:39] on the phone and told him to put that down. At the time I
[38:44] did, I slapped him, hit him was so much my courage, yes,
[38:51] my anger crying. I told him a lot of things. I slapped
[38:55] him and left. And the one who said a single word, not a
[39:01] single word, I' m sorry nothing happens to me again. I came
[39:07] home and he arrived shortly without a word. I provoked him. I wanted
[39:14] to bring out conversation, but my conversation was from courage, from the powerlessness
[39:22] of why I did it, if I had children, if I had a
[39:27] woman who loved him, if I had a woman who cared for him,
[39:30] if I had a woman who cared about him, why I had to look
[39:34] the next day I said what I did. I think I risked what else
[39:43] you got to do. When I saw, I checked his cell phone,
[39:49] that is, I checked it and constantly saw messages and I sent messages to
[40:00] women pretending to be and what to say for him, because or memorise how
[40:04] you are, according to the conversation, according to the thread of the conversation,
[40:09] because I caused there to be more feedback in between us. No,
[40:16] and then I realized what kind of relationship he had and what kind of relaxation
[40:22] he had, because I think they have always been transient relationships, relationships of
[40:29] little commitment, relationships because maybe there was only intimacy, that that was what
[40:37] could unite them. And for I lived in constant alertness in constant fear of
[40:47] knowing who else was going to appear in life, who else was coming,
[40:52] who else was with him, whom he sought the most. Then I don
[40:57] ' t realize that. According to me, no yes, but I wanted
[41:01] to pretend to my children that their mom and dad were fine and that they
[41:07] had a family and ultimate relationships with him as they were good. They were
[41:10] good. You were. Yeah, I mean, I could handle everybody.
[41:15] I was already jerking off, yes, I could with all of them.
[41:22] Infidelities kept happening, they kept happening in fedilitys. Two events that marked me.
[41:30] He gave me a trip to Europe. Or I was going to meet
[41:39] Paris and I was delighted. I was just about to leave for the airport
[41:44] and I mean a call and I get a call. I remember my daughter
[41:46] playing in the yard. I was in the yard guarding guitar and he tells
[41:52] me you' re leaving, you' re ready. So good a love
[41:54] that goes very well this we talk about later, since you' re at
[41:58] the airport. Yeah, he used two phones. Strike, immediately ring the
[42:04] phone again. Something forgot what I said and he' s talking to one
[42:10] of his lovers on the other phone. I think I was asking him why
[42:15] I didn' t send him flowers and say no yes, I don'
[42:20] t have time, but he in the conversation mentioned the names of all his
[42:27] collaborators at work. So that means you' re in a long- term
[42:30] relationship, you' re talking to him very familiar with who you work with
[42:35] and who you' re with. I was quiet at the time I said
[42:38] I' m going to listen as far as the conversation goes. What a
[42:43] pain I' m talking about. I was shaking, I felt like I
[42:46] was going to die. At that moment, my daughter saw me cry.
[42:51] Yeah, I hung up the phone. The conversation is over and yes,
[42:55] I spoke to him on the phone and I told him I just heard this
[43:00] and this and this and this and this and this and this and this?
[43:01] What you heard is a lie devaluing what I was telling him, making me
[43:07] feel like I was lying that it wasn' t true. What hurt most
[43:12] at the time is that my daughter noticed. My daughter got the idea that
[43:17] her parents were splitting up. Her mom' s going on a 20-
[43:25] day trip, staying with my sister. Then he doesn' t have the
[43:29] dad, he doesn' t have the mom, my daughter. In that
[43:31] inter that I went on a trip. He had a lot of trouble at
[43:36] my school. My daughter suffered a lot, she talked to me crying.
[43:39] Mom, you and my dad aren' t gonna be together anymore. No,
[43:42] my love. It' s all right. I didn' t worry
[43:45] about you, but I heard you say this and this wow and that marked
[43:51] me a lot. Since then I said I have to start something to do
[43:55] for me. I have to start looking for me. So I started with
[44:02] therapy. It wasn' t over. Therapies were bad for me because I
[44:08] was totally confronted, because you' re still there and I hated them.
[44:13] I hated them. Then comes the pandemic. For me, the pandemic has
[44:21] been a water part. I looked in the mirror, I looked gray,
[44:25] I looked ugly, I didn' t love myself. And if I can
[44:30] ' t go on like this, I can' t go on like this.
[44:32] For me and for my children. On that occasion we traveled to Veracruz,
[44:38] where he was, and my son decided to stay with him for a
[44:43] week. I went back to my daughter. By the time it happened that
[44:49] week, my son was already here on the plane, who left him on
[44:54] the plane. At that point I picked up the phone and told him so
[45:00] far my relationship with us, but because he saw something to your son.
[45:04] Yes, my son had not told me anything, but I had already reached
[45:09] the limit of enduring so many years, twenty- six years. So,
[45:15] in that week that he stays, he comes back and he talks good to
[45:21] me. I ended it on the phone and told him that from that moment
[45:27] on, everything we had to do with children and so on, everything we
[45:31] were going to do with my children, that I had nothing to talk to
[45:35] him, that I think there was nothing between us anymore. And because he
[45:39] was his life already being here, my son at home, Mom tells me,
[45:44] because I am going to tell you. My dad would go out at
[45:47] night and leave me alone all day long I just always walked around with the
[45:53] slobs and the little time was with me. It hurt so much. There
[45:58] I realized that my children were more aware than they of many things that were
[46:02] already at an age where they perceived and knew what was going on with their
[46:09] dad. The pandemic happened and I had no contact with him. And then
[46:16] in the pandemic, I start reading, I start getting into courses where I
[46:23] wanted something to comfort me, that something would help me have the courage to
[46:31] get out of this relationship to see myself and not go back to that kind
[46:37] of relationship anymore. It happened almost at the end of the pandemic. He
[46:45] invites them to his house where he lived and come. I want to see
[46:52] them because, because of the pandemic, you could not travel or anything.
[46:54] I invite the children and I why not invite me. Then I tell you
[47:01] don' t tell your dad I' m coming. It' s going
[47:06] to be a surprise, because since we arrived, because the mom wasn'
[47:13] t there, we arrived at the house and my daughter in her bedroom was
[47:20] going to bed because she was going to watch the TV she was going and
[47:24] she tells me Mom looks at the pillow, she' s full of makeup
[47:27] and vile. I felt horrible, horrible, horrible. Or I said one
[47:32] more where my daughter sees these things, where she suffers. My daughter asked
[47:37] him what meaning and what he answered was I don' t know with a
[47:45] great cynicism. I don' t know. My daughter tells me mom,
[47:50] my dad lives with someone else, right and I told her so, daughter,
[47:55] I couldn' t say no, because if the evidence was given,
[48:00] but you had already left it before. Yes, I had already left it,
[48:02] so why did I mean by nesia they are, no agreement, no
[48:07] yes, foolishly, I had nothing to go back to. Yeah, I
[48:12] mean, he was already in his right to have a full partner, totally,
[48:16] so look. It' s hard what I' m going to tell
[48:22] you, but you don' t think that situation hurt your kids any more.
[48:24] So this, basically, was to expose them to a harm from their
[48:30] mother that there was no need. It was unnecessary. It was unnecessary,
[48:36] and the mother' s need to dismiss her father completely. Yeah, I
[48:40] think it' s deep inside me. It was the courage that I knew
[48:45] I could find something and that it was going to be for me a weapon
[48:49] and evidence for his children. And he was a good father. Yeah,
[48:57] he was a good father. He' s a good father. So you
[49:00] don' t think that' s incompetence to see all of us when we
[49:07] ' re very much in love, we do things without realizing that they can
[49:12] hurt other people. But there you thought more as a couple and not as
[49:15] a mom. Yeah, and I realized that I was wrong, that it
[49:20] wasn' t the right thing to do. And when we got back,
[49:25] when we got back from the trip, because I talked to my children and
[49:30] I told him, well, the situation was that his dad was already with
[49:36] someone else, since I was already finished with him and I didn' t
[49:40] want to be with him anymore, that he was being difficult for me,
[49:50] that I hope they understood at that time, that I was in a process
[49:54] of change, in a process of wanting to be better with myself, and
[49:59] my children told me how good. Good thing you think of yourself so good,
[50:01] and we' re gonna back you up. And from that moment it
[50:07] was no longer secret that his dad was with someone else, that his mom
[50:14] was in an emotional rehab process. Yeah, and we all started going to
[50:22] therapy, my kids and I, and that' s when I started to
[50:30] give life, my life, out of the climate. Yeah, how are
[50:36] you now? I' m fine, I' m fine, I think
[50:43] I' m not ready to be with a couple yet, but I'
[50:47] m with myself, that' s the most important thing. I want to
[50:50] accept myself I love my process in which I am happy with myself makes me
[50:58] accept as I am with my age, with my body, who I am
[51:04] now I have many friends, few male friends, but many friends. I
[51:09] love that. I have my business for this purpose which flowers so beautiful.
[51:15] We' re going to be a businesswoman. I do my business and I
[51:21] ' m a floral designer. I love organizing events, all my creativity.
[51:25] That' s where I love my process. You give me permission to use
[51:37] your story, your testimony to help other women. Sure, okay, first
[51:44] of all, I understand where you' re coming from, it makes you
[51:50] behave in a certain way. Okay, I mean, it' s really
[51:52] easy to talk from outside and say oh is that Gaby should have done this
[51:55] carefully. Be careful because since childhood you see a mom who works a lot
[52:02] and still doesn' t get her husband' s love. If you don
[52:07] ' t get the scorn, of course, then you realize that the only
[52:12] way you don' t suffer is to make sure that you don' t
[52:19] leave you no and abandon. It' s for you that they don'
[52:21] t pay attention to you. I give up on you is that it doesn
[52:23] ' t address you to the word. Abandonment for You is any lack of
[52:29] attention. No. First, you have broken with a very large pattern,
[52:32] which is alcoholism, that of the addition of alcoholic families. There are usually
[52:38] two patterns, or the person who completely rejects alcohol or the person who pampers
[52:45] himself with the person who suffered from this type of addition. Fortunately, you
[52:51] rejected it perfectly. Then there' s how well you' ve broken with
[52:57] a pattern of congratulations. There' s something in the dyna that happens in
[53:00] your family that you never liked beyond you loved them. No, I mean,
[53:06] you already wanted to escape from your family, because there was still an
[53:10] element in your family that was doing the same thing your dad was doing and
[53:15] that made you very uncomfortable. So, your first relationship is to escape and
[53:20] prove that you' re not gonna get over your mother. You' re
[53:23] looking for the exact example, or you' re looking for a person with
[53:30] a dependence on alcohol, because I' m going to change it. I
[53:35] mean, that' s all you wanted to try. There, in the
[53:37] second relationship, I still wanted to change it, too. You wanted to
[53:44] change it, too, but he paid attention to you. That' s
[53:49] not clear. That' s what you were looking for You had it in
[53:53] That' s what you realize that' s not what you want. But
[53:58] fortunately, who is the person who, when there is the limit of losing
[54:04] it, everything is planted and gone. Me. You, you, yeah,
[54:09] that' s where you were in the beginning. Yeah, I'
[54:14] m leaving. I feel that you must be a very passionate woman and that
[54:17] validation is also found in intimate relationships. The beautiful sertinte desired dear. That
[54:28] gives you life and then what happens. Well, you get together with a
[54:37] person where he never lied to you anymore, that is, when you came
[54:40] back to him, he didn' t lie to you like that, he
[54:44] put the cards on the table. Yeah, yeah, and you didn'
[54:45] t force him. You did it and I want to marry you why,
[54:51] because you were afraid I' d make it clear that he felt pressured.
[54:57] There he is. Then I' ll get you. Not so you won
[55:00] ' t leave me no yes or no we won' t be then,
[55:07] because I feel besides that in the long run with the father of your children,
[55:13] you can be friends with him, because from what you have told me,
[55:16] I feel that it was a man that in the first relationship of yours
[55:22] you passionately said wow, this man has made me feel like woman, woman
[55:29] and what not, I make the sense that there I made you feel too
[55:32] that won' t take it away from you. No one lives you know
[55:34] how beautiful it is. Yeah, that' s a lot of women who
[55:37] die without knowing what it is. That' s right, and so much
[55:40] so that you lived it, then you got a man to get married and
[55:45] you said. No, well, this is like when you' ve already
[55:47] tasted a delicious dish. Who wants hard bread can not be an energy and
[55:54] gonads and a courage to say I divorce clear, sure, totally and you
[56:02] saw it very quickly. Then watch the father of your children. He didn
[56:07] ' t choose you, but the second time you chose him as your father.
[56:13] He didn' t run off like a father. He was a good
[56:16] father. He' s a good father. He' s a good father.
[56:19] Yes, she loves her children totally, she takes responsibility for them,
[56:23] totally, she spends a good time with them totally, or what. Yeah,
[56:28] you have to make that clear, as a lover, he was a
[56:30] very good lover, or what. As a couple, living together was bad,
[56:37] no, not bad, or what could have been better. There was
[56:42] an element there, an ingredient of your ex- partner who' s had
[56:47] it since you met him, and he just loves it. It' s
[56:52] reality. Yes or no yes, yes, then what happens, because that
[56:59] ' s how he might be. What I would have said is listen because
[57:01] we don' t have an open relationship. Oh, I mean, if
[57:07] it was a man you knew deep down that you weren' t gonna change
[57:10] that, I didn' t say yes, that you could handle it for
[57:13] the best. You' d have coldened me less. No, because it
[57:15] ' s not that you suffer less, it' s that my experience,
[57:21] I saw experience with relationships that last a long time, is that, well,
[57:27] there are things that you' re not going to change from the relationship.
[57:28] So sometimes, when you open up a relationship and I don' t
[57:32] want to sleep with everyone all the time, but say well, if you
[57:36] do something that I didn' t know, the transgression component doesn' t
[57:40] exist anymore and it makes you feel less like it. Of course that'
[57:45] s what I' m thinking now. But if they let me hunt,
[57:46] oh what. But, well, since they let me hunt, now,
[57:49] I want the food, they take it to the house. I' ll
[57:52] explain, of course, because I don' t see a psychopath there.
[57:55] I' m not an arcisist. I see a man who sees what.
[58:02] I don' t know if you said hey, you and I be faithful
[58:06] forever. You told him that you didn' t know. Not at the
[58:09] table, so you knew what it was like and so I accepted it and
[58:17] you accepted it and you wanted to change it. Oh no, of course,
[58:20] then, what I love is the strength you have to be honest with
[58:23] yourself and face this is me, wow, how it hurts like when you
[58:30] got down on your knees. You said this isn' t me I can
[58:34] ' t do this, not all those things that you did, that makes
[58:38] a lot of real women that when you fall in love and think that the
[58:42] love of your life is going to go away, you lose your mind.
[58:44] No. The only thing I think could have been done a little bit better
[58:50] is the last part. There was more rage. No, and now I
[58:58] ' m going to expose you to your children. That' s the way
[59:02] it is for courage. Not when he could have been a bad couple,
[59:09] but he' s always been a good father. Yes, he was always
[59:13] a good father, that is, love for his children. He never conditioned
[59:20] it, ever. What I want to tell you is that, from what
[59:23] I see from that man, because we tend to say he' s a
[59:28] narcissist, he' s a psychopath, he' s a terrible person.
[59:30] He told you things clearly and yet he wanted to keep you, he wanted
[59:36] you to be in his life, they wanted his life. What you didn
[59:39] ' t know how to share or not share, or tell you look There
[59:49] ' s a song that is I can' t understand you crazy heart.
[59:52] I can' t understand you. He asks the heart neither does they say
[59:55] how you can love two people at the same time and the heart tells him
[1:00:00] some. Sacred love, complement of my life wife and mother at the same
[1:00:06] time and the others are forbidden love to which I will not renounce. Wow.
[1:00:14] And there are people, maybe they do, there are people they do.
[1:00:17] It' s hard, it' s very difficult. It' s
[1:00:22] good that you face your reality. I mean, I can' t live
[1:00:27] that I can' t live that. I also know a lot of women
[1:00:30] who happen to them exactly the same as they say. I love my husband,
[1:00:35] he' s the father of my children. He' s the most
[1:00:38] amazing man to me and they' ve ever gone with Yoga' s teacher.
[1:00:45] Why? Because of that need for adventure, which I don' t
[1:00:50] justify, but I want you to understand that situation because there are women who
[1:00:58] have had bad men in their lives and have stayed there. You' ve
[1:01:00] never stayed there, ever. You' re never a strong woman. You
[1:01:07] ' re a woman who never allowed her partner' s financial control over you.
[1:01:14] You always stayed independent, you always lost it a little bit, but
[1:01:20] you always have like a moment when you say it' s gonna lose it,
[1:01:22] the, I' m gonna power and you get back in control.
[1:01:25] No, and the only thing that did hurt you is that the love of
[1:01:30] your life, because, if so, you still want it as a human
[1:01:37] being. Yeah, whatever your partner is or they can' t keep having
[1:01:42] a nice relationship, being good friends, being good friends, being accomplices,
[1:01:47] having family, they can still be, but you can' t change people.
[1:01:57] Not at the moment when difficult experiences over the years make you understand or
[1:02:05] make me understand that I am not going to change anyone, anyone, just
[1:02:07] myself and then the other. I' m sure if you, instead of
[1:02:14] being focused, how many women were calling your partner, you get shy to
[1:02:17] death, beautiful, you go zumba, you' re looking out for your
[1:02:22] life. He would have known that and if he had been more attracted to
[1:02:25] you, of course because you wanted to grab him. But if you made
[1:02:29] him fit and you look pretty, we' ll have dinner. I'
[1:02:32] m going with you to Europe. I would have kept quiet and in the
[1:02:36] Eiffel Tower in the most divine dress in the world. Super tight, I
[1:02:40] ' m gonna tell you honey, I' m gonna go to the pati
[1:02:44] bathroom for myself that I saw everyone look at me and it' d be
[1:02:46] clear. Sure. It' s very hard to keep you. It'
[1:02:51] s very difficult. It' s very difficult because you have to be honest
[1:02:54] with yourself. Yeah, there' s a breeder because that man has a
[1:03:00] lot of lovers, he must have a gift that I don' t justify,
[1:03:06] but what I want to tell you is one. You have to be
[1:03:07] honest and honest with me, with yourself and say well, I what I
[1:03:14] want, because family I have. The decision you made is very good,
[1:03:19] that is to say, I gave you strength and what is making you understand
[1:03:22] is why there are things you do if you don' t like what you
[1:03:28] do it' s super worked. Gan, you' ve broken up with
[1:03:30] your mother' s family pattern, that is, no, you' re
[1:03:35] a docile woman in the end, at least you' re vindictive. Oh,
[1:03:44] what' s done. I' m fine now, but it was
[1:03:46] a lot of bravery. Yeah, but I liked it because it was you
[1:03:50] broke up a little bit and it' s like they won' t let
[1:03:53] me stay there, but you broke your mom' s pattern, not a
[1:03:58] mom who was always behind me. You don' t do it to me,
[1:04:01] okay, I get it, and you broke up. You' re
[1:04:02] a completely autonomous woman. You' re a woman you know how to say,
[1:04:08] I' ll leave you alone. You' re a woman that you
[1:04:09] ' ve kept your family, that is, I' m telling you,
[1:04:15] it' s all women inside. You' re the women who' ve
[1:04:16] had problems. They' re a very robust woman. Not anymore, so
[1:04:19] what you need to understand is that first you' re the best couple in
[1:04:28] the company, or what second you' re going to be your part when
[1:04:34] you decide to have a partner at best. You don' t want a
[1:04:35] couple maybe. You want lovers one, then maybe. I' ll explain.
[1:04:43] Give yourself a chance to choose. You of course, you, of
[1:04:50] course, I' ll call you, leave him with anxiety. You give
[1:04:57] up your phone, yeah, and then you don' t call him that
[1:05:00] day the next day. You call it that keeping it a little bit of
[1:05:05] ah do it. See the funniest life, See the funniest life. Take
[1:05:12] away the drama, see life more amusing life and understand that you have done
[1:05:15] something that is very difficult to do, that you have broken with a family
[1:05:19] pattern, as a woman scorned, mistreated. Not because you' re not
[1:05:26] leaving here talking about beatings, don' t look at you. They didn
[1:05:29] ' t hit you, they didn' t leave you, not just control,
[1:05:32] because control implied. You love me or you love me ugly, but
[1:05:35] at least you care. You peel me, you pay attention to me,
[1:05:41] you validate me, but don' t leave me. There it is but
[1:05:44] control me, but you won' t let me, but you won'
[1:05:45] t hit me. Of course, I do, I think there are things
[1:05:48] that are important and it is the reaffirmation, because it is also true that
[1:05:56] in the history of humanity parents had never been so good parents. And when
[1:06:03] there' s a good father, even if he' s a bad couple,
[1:06:08] you have to give him that good father throne. And there are many
[1:06:10] women who say to your father that he doesn' t love you either,
[1:06:13] not love you. Yeah, sure, sure, because they' re always
[1:06:17] going to be this kids and parents gave the kids' father isn' t
[1:06:23] always going to be there and he' s always going to be, and
[1:06:27] many are, but he' s already you, no yeah, so yeah,
[1:06:35] there are people who can' t live with an infidelity. I understand,
[1:06:39] it' s okay, but there are people who can live with the
[1:06:45] idea of who a long- term relationship. And I know that sixty percent
[1:06:48] of men are unbelievers, or eighty or seventy, because he does not say
[1:06:54] so. Then a little cane on the air. I deserve to talk to
[1:07:00] her if you ever do anything that I don' t know, that it
[1:07:04] ' s not with someone I know that you take care of yourself and take
[1:07:08] care of me. I don' t want to know if you do it
[1:07:11] that way, but that what I don' t see you not seeing you
[1:07:15] would leave you hallucinating the number of happy marriages that have these agreements, because,
[1:07:24] unfortunately we' re monogamous, of course emotional, but sexual polygamous and
[1:07:31] it' s fighting with a nature and you and I maybe how we have
[1:07:34] to honor that word. When we see the teacher and yoga, we don
[1:07:38] ' t say wif MM. I' m not holding on. There aren
[1:07:42] ' t several of them and not very well. But there are people who
[1:07:45] are not and are not all so consistent with their word. They don'
[1:07:51] t want me to, but they do. You' re very busy,
[1:07:57] even if you don' t believe it. Much more worked than you think,
[1:08:00] much more, more, more, because you could have fallen down many
[1:08:08] precipices. And you' ve always been there? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
[1:08:15] Yeah? Have you always stayed there? Congratulations, thank you very much,
[1:08:23] thank you. Grab Now I would also like to say that well,
[1:08:26] besides your florist, where you have it at home, at your house.
[1:08:30] Yeah, and how we contacted you. There' s my nets. It
[1:08:32] ' s called gavara arroba, gavar arroba. Let' s make the information
[1:08:39] r events and you' re also part of the President. I am president
[1:08:42] of the circle of freedom that is forming Loreta. I am delighted because we
[1:08:47] are making a very beautiful circle, of sorority among women who want to support
[1:08:54] other women to meet and call themselves. Yes, because when you love yourself,
[1:09:00] the likelihood of accepting abuse is greatly reduced, unless it' s an
[1:09:06] integrated psychopath who catches you like that, but if not, in the end
[1:09:11] people do things like that that that makes it clear and we have to learn
[1:09:16] not to leave us like that. It is. Thank you, thank you.
[1:09:30] You like this testimony. You think it can help someone share it with
[1:09:34] you. Don' t forget to click on my social networks, which are
[1:09:40] Silvia Olmedo for YouTube, Silvia Olmedo for Instagram and Silvia Olmedo official for Facebook.
[1:09:45] And remember that, before judging you put a label on a person,
[1:09:49] try to understand why faces we see suffering. We don' t know.

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