# La realidad superó la ficción, mi vida cambió en un segundo - Episodio 87

An episode of [CARAS VEMOS SUFRIMIENTOS](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1614156002), 4 Jul 2024, 1 h 00 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/60596304/27_mi_violador.mp3

Ella es Elisa Vicedo Garcés, su instagram es @vicedoelisa. Gracias por tu generosidad y valentía de contar tu testimonio. Este programa no es terapia; si piensas que la puedes necesitar, acude a un psicólogo/a clínico o psiquiatra. Si necesitas terapia, evita aquellas personas sean youtubers, psicóologo/a de la TV y que quieran lucrar contigo. Conviértete en un supporter de este podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/caras-vemos-sufrimientos--6047464/support.

## Transcript

[0:05] Canas we see sufferings, don' t we know? Welcome And welcome to
[0:14] faces we see sufferings, don' t we know? Remember that this program,
[0:19] its objective is documentary and educational and that this is not a clinical interview.
[0:26] If you need help, you should go to a mental health expert,
[0:32] a psychologist, clinical or health psychologist, or a psychiatrist. Today' s
[0:38] show, for me it' s a very special program, very special because
[0:46] Alisa I know her and all I want is to give you this space,
[0:52] this is your space you want to talk about. Talk about it. I
[0:57] know what you' re still going through is what so many women are going
[1:03] through in silence, and most of them don' t want to talk about
[1:08] it, so it' s called toxic shame, which is the shame a
[1:15] victim feels for having suffered, in this case rape. Thanks for coming.
[1:23] Cost, cost indeed has been many years. How many years ago it happened.
[1:27] It was in the year two thousand and sixteen. I was nineteen.
[1:34] I met my assailant while working in a theater, a theater of these where
[1:42] multiple plays are done. At the same time, I' ve never told
[1:48] the whole story. It' s called micro theater. It' s either
[1:49] it was or it doesn' t have another name is more to me.
[1:53] I think it doesn' t exist now, but at the time it was
[1:56] short theater. I was doing a play called Ola Cagis. It premiered I
[2:04] don' t know December of the year two thousand fifteen. I had a
[2:07] boyfriend. It' s been two and a half years almost three. A
[2:12] relationship of forgiveness. I' m losing my accent, but here' s
[2:16] the real John, the actress is, there' s no one to control
[2:21] her. I know this person because we were working in the same place,
[2:30] in the same space at the time. It wasn' t that it happened,
[2:35] absolutely nothing. He was really a stranger. For me, as you
[2:38] mentioned, I had a relationship. It wasn' t the most stable or
[2:43] prettiest relationship. I think all the teenagers have gone through there, that is,
[2:46] you relate nineteen. I was nineteen at the time. Sure ink yeah,
[2:51] yeah, yeah, and it' s really those boyfriends your parents don
[2:54] ' t want, but they don' t even want it in paint.
[2:59] And I had finished with him and had just returned for this work that a
[3:02] psychologist who, by the way and that graduated in psychology with two master'
[3:07] s degrees, one in integrative humanist psychotherapy and the other, I insist is
[3:15] the family for consulting. I' m currently finishing my PhD in gestalt psychotherapy
[3:20] and people would think that' s why you already have a lot of things
[3:23] done. But I wasn' t studying psychology in the Nahuac. Besides,
[3:28] I was in a soap opera where there was also who would later be my
[3:32] attacker. I know him, I guess about mid- December, because they
[3:39] lasted a month for those hours and I mention all this because I think every
[3:46] detail is important in a story, and more in a story that has not
[3:49] been understood at all. I know him because when we started and started the
[3:53] play, he liked a partner of mine from the forum, so he went
[3:58] very often to see the play and invited him out and they went out a
[4:00] couple of times and it didn' t work. And in the end,
[4:04] for me there was the thing and he was known as the actor who had
[4:09] invited a co- worker out. I wouldn' t dare say a friend
[4:15] is a woman at the time even married and that' s why I say
[4:19] I don' t even dare say names. And then he went in several
[4:24] times to see the play longer. At some point, I had to go
[4:27] in to see his work once and I remember very well with whom, with
[4:30] my mother, and he was my only kind of contact at that time.
[4:33] The next contact I have with this person was on the 16th of March of
[4:40] the year two thousand and sixteen and it was in the premiere of a play
[4:45] in the independence deal. The play was called Mom forever and it was just
[4:53] the gala, it was the premier and at the break time of the intermission,
[4:59] I was with some friends and someone comes from behind and touches me and
[5:02] tells me listen you remember me I have always been very complacent in that sense
[5:06] of not knowing how to tell people looks like not. Then I kind of
[5:12] smiled and said yes and said yes and I think he clearly realized he didn
[5:19] ' t recognize it. So you tell me I' m a guy and
[5:27] I' m a producer, I' m an actor and right now I
[5:32] ' m producing a play and the subject is brutal. I know your system
[5:33] of habits. I was just looking for a girl like you, the word
[5:40] she said and she literally used it so many times towards me. It was
[5:44] a girl like you. A little girl is a word that for me is
[5:46] a twitterer. It' s something I can' t stand, because it
[5:53] ' s not a trigger. Sure, because now that you get to another
[5:57] point, you' ll understand why. When someone calls you a little girl,
[6:00] little girl, blondie just like you dropped me out of the sky,
[6:08] you' re that nativity scene I was looking for and they offer me to
[6:16] go to a casting at their house the next day. He asks me for
[6:19] my whatsapp orders after asking his whatsapp to ask me and it' s good
[6:24] to give us whatsapp. He sends me Leo the script and that same day
[6:28] down with my parents and I tell them look I just got to this script.
[6:30] I want to cast because it seems to me that she talks about important
[6:35] issues such as sexual assault and it was about a girl entering a confessional and
[6:41] the priest while she was confessing the priest masturbating and then raping her. Of
[6:48] course that wasn' t the rape part on the scene. And then the
[6:53] next three girls coming in had something similar going on. Then they Catholic.
[7:01] But I firmly believe that there is good and evil everywhere. So, when
[7:08] this script comes in, I really said I' d like to do something
[7:15] different and I said I want to do it. My parents told me you
[7:15] ' re crazy. I had a giant Christ in my house that I still
[7:20] have and I said and if I take him also enough to put him on
[7:25] the forum not very naive. I' m going to casting the next day.
[7:29] This was the 17th of March. Not that I was very good with
[7:31] dates, but I' ve been having to remember every single thing. Again
[7:36] and again, because I' ve been working on something for nine years,
[7:41] nine years, imagine it' s not easy, easier to judge and say
[7:46] good. And because he fell two years out of those nine, but good.
[7:50] The next day I go to casting and my father takes me because he
[7:55] said no, my father is Spanish. I' m Spanish and Mexican.
[7:58] So, that' s why it' s about the SS and I don
[8:03] ' t know anything. He didn' t like it You know, he
[8:07] told me. When you get up there, he tells me if there'
[8:11] s anyone and as soon as I get up. I lived on a familiar
[8:13] face and then I relaxed. I see another known face and UFFF relaxed even
[8:20] more and suddenly I see how this person was starting to blow someone off.
[8:26] From there and more relax uff Here I' m safe all the time we
[8:33] did casting everything and all the time it was her. It' s the
[8:37] girl, because I was the youngest of all and she' s the one
[8:41] we have to protect. It is the one that is currently on a program
[8:43] that has many views on YouTube, which was this is combo. Right now
[8:48] this part of a soap opera is joining this team. Then it was like
[8:56] a little bit. Her name brings this and we' re gonna hug her.
[9:01] They kind of had been on previous talks and I joined the team at
[9:05] the time. Let' s say the next day I' m added to
[9:11] a Whatsapp group and another producer was already there. He' s also a
[9:16] producer. This producer was the one that made me feel very safe, despite
[9:18] everything that was going on over time that day, in fact, I had
[9:24] to record on Televisa part of the novel that she and I were signing and
[9:28] took my car the gro that. It' s a very silly thing,
[9:35] really, but I and he start writing me in private. I tell her
[9:41] how you are and I' m fine, thank you, a little polite,
[9:46] but I have nothing to say. No. In the end I was
[9:48] going to be my boss and I thought I' d tell him that it
[9:54] had happened to my car and he offered his help and I said no.
[9:58] Thank you very much. I have a friend here to help and it was
[10:01] true, but I showed up the gesture. I said I' ve never
[10:05] had a boss who wants to come and help me with the car and the
[10:09] crane. I said, okay, that' s a good person. The
[10:11] 19th of March was a Saturday and it was my father' s birthday.
[10:16] That is why the dates for me difficult And aside it is Father' s
[10:20] Day in Spain, then difficult for me to forget it. My parents have
[10:26] a very strong argument and the night I have a very strong argument with them
[10:30] too, starting that day and we follow it until the next day, to
[10:35] the point that my mother' s words came out. There' s a
[10:41] no- te. I want to see you again and all from the house.
[10:45] I was going through two very important duels. She clearly didn' t
[10:50] say it with the sense of the house' s subjects. This was Sunday,
[10:52] March 20, the day of success. What happens on Sunday, March
[10:56] 20th, what almost no one knows. It happens that she wakes up or
[11:01] an elisa and I talk about my third person and maybe because it costs me
[11:09] a lot of work, put me back in the victim role. I wake
[11:11] up a smooth woman who at the time was in a very bad relationship with
[11:18] her parents, who could not see my mother or in paint, because we
[11:22] had said horrible things to each other a day before. And besides, I
[11:26] ' m like this. On Sundays, I went to psychology, during the
[11:28] week cinema, on Sundays I went to theater and also traveled the world with
[11:35] our Escombo and it was also in a novel. When I think about it
[11:39] sometimes in cold I say uff how quickly I lived was no longer the boyfriend
[11:46] who protected me. And on top of that, I knew that the space
[11:52] I was going to class at nine in the morning was missing a very important
[11:54] person. A couple of weeks before that event takes place one of my female
[12:01] friends, Colombia. He was my right hand, he was the one who
[12:07] meditated. He was the one who wrote with me. I felt a lot
[12:11] of guilt. I was on a business trip on a Friday night, returning
[12:20] to Mexico City and he calls me and doesn' t answer the phone.
[12:26] There was a voice message and it was to see if he and his wife
[12:28] could stay at my house so they wouldn' t return to Guanajuato, because
[12:33] there were Sunday classes and for a long time I felt guilty. He and
[12:39] his wife suffered a car and fell into a spectacular and the only one who
[12:46] got involved was him. Then I was dealing with the loss of my right
[12:54] hand, the loss of what I thought at that time was the love of
[12:56] my life and I wasn' t very well understanding everything that was happening to
[13:01] me. I believe that Sunday has been one of the most vulnerable of my
[13:05] entire life. I remember it was 12: 30 a m When I got
[13:11] a message from that person between eleven and twelve to ask me how I was
[13:16] doing with ilion. I was going on missions with the university in a week.
[13:22] Well, this was Sunday. I was leaving on Tuesday. Why I
[13:26] postponed leaving until Tuesday, just because of the theme of the play. I
[13:30] had been acting at the time. I don' t know if thirteen fourteen,
[13:35] fifteen years. I have twenty- four years of artistic career. I
[13:39] was taught that you' re dying, and you have to get to the
[13:43] set. There' s no cut, there' s no I' m
[13:50] sick and I can' t. Then I prioritized and said I' m
[13:56] going on missions later than that. Then it helps me a little to heal
[13:58] and already to avoid the psychological abuse that came in the following months. So
[14:07] when this message comes to me on March 20, he asks me how it
[14:11] was going with the script and I' m very honest today and I said
[14:15] no. I haven' t studied it. I haven' t studied it
[14:20] and I' m not understanding it and it tells me I' m going
[14:24] to go to church at such an hour, that is, it invites me
[14:28] to go to mass. He sends me the address. I remember that in
[14:33] the message it puts me there' s going to be a market. Then
[14:35] don' t get in the streets. I didn' t have a car
[14:39] for Moverme at the time I was in editing class. In fact, something
[14:43] perfect. I mean, it' s like yesterday and I decided to get
[14:48] out of editing class. Why I didn' t want to be there,
[14:52] I mean, for me to be there was to admit that I had failed
[15:01] my best friend to admit that my two- and- a- half-
[15:05] year relationship had really gone to the brig to admit that at that time,
[15:11] when I called my mother, I didn' t want to talk to me.
[15:15] My father was on a work trip on Sunday. Then I felt very
[15:20] lonely and said it might be bad to go to Mass with someone. Then
[15:26] it was Palm Sunday. I was late for church. In fact, or
[15:33] I hate Ramos Sunday. I can' t see the palms, I can
[15:37] ' t see people being the browns. I have a trauma going into the
[15:45] Church and the reality is that I couldn' t find it, but I
[15:52] put myself in the back. I was a moment where I was. The
[15:54] truth is that very angry with God it was like you took this from me
[15:58] and you took this one from me you invited me is and just at the
[16:04] time of giving peace call it coincidence fate. This person turned around and stood
[16:10] in front of me. At that level we knew that even from behind I
[16:15] could not recognize him when the Mass ended. One of the things he told
[16:22] me he wanted to teach me was just how confessionals were, why they were
[16:29] going to be identical to those we were going to use in the theater.
[16:33] We never saw the confessionals. I didn' t need someone to talk to
[16:41] and at that point that person was that person. Then we leave the church.
[16:48] He asked me if I was hungry and I told him the truth.
[16:52] I said no and he told me I think something happened to you no and
[16:59] I was about to explode. I was going to therapy. Perhaps I had
[17:04] many resources, but at that time I felt protected by an authority figure.
[17:12] That is the reality and throughout my artistic career, all the figures of authority
[17:18] I have had have protected me Simon Moros, who is a great, who
[17:22] was good my teacher who told me bad, habits, that is, I
[17:29] have sat with him having films as a child. You know, I grew
[17:37] up between adults. I didn' t have the childhood of a normal child.
[17:42] My party for me was to be on a forum. My greatest pleasure
[17:48] in life was being on the forum. You didn' t take the forum
[17:52] away from me because there really was no way. Fridays was actually, uh,
[17:55] outside for me in acting classes. And, well, let' s
[18:03] go to a pizzeria that was across the street and he opens up and starts
[18:08] telling me about his life. Actually, I don' t remember much of
[18:12] your conversation. I was out in my thoughts and in my life and in
[18:18] what was happening to me and after that, he stood up to the bathroom
[18:23] and told me I' m going to order something and I said it'
[18:26] s bil. It takes a little while and when she returns she had already
[18:34] paid and the food she brought to take away. Then he tells me I
[18:37] have a movie that' s going to help you a lot with the character
[18:42] and at that moment I didn' t see the bad thing. Many times
[18:45] I questioned whether I had provoked what happened in any way. I think the
[18:52] next two years of my life I always wondered what I did wrong. When
[19:06] we got out of the pizza shop. This was a triangle. There was
[19:08] the church Pizzeria home. I' ve got him very identified today. I
[19:14] wasn' t so identified at the time. I go up to his house
[19:18] and it' s all dark. There wasn' t an open persion and
[19:22] I sit in the dining room and I remember he sat down to eat and
[19:30] I remember he offered me if I wanted something and I said yes. I
[19:32] threw a coke, brought me the coke, and I kept listening to it.
[19:37] He passed me through the room and I sat down and I returned my
[19:44] computer and suddenly, I have a man who literally like a tiger fell over
[19:48] me, put his hand between my legs. Textual words were you knew what
[19:56] you came to and at all times it was a no let me give.
[20:03] I don' t need it, I didn' t tell myself this and
[20:11] it was like you gave her more Adrenalina threw me against esophageal, which basically
[20:17] was like that. My hand got trapped against the couch. I couldn'
[20:22] t move. It was as if a tiger had thrown bal at me and
[20:27] had no escape. I didn' t have the strength to scream, I
[20:33] didn' t have the strength in my legs, I didn' t have
[20:37] the strength to hit. And the next thing you do, you take my
[20:44] door up I' m already lying down. He grabs me and charges me
[20:48] with his legs and he takes my bedroom and throws me against the camel,
[20:52] then I turn on the bed. I still had my pants on, there
[21:04] ' s some blast my krin blasts on the floor there I did start by
[21:14] following more people who wouldn' t take my pants off. The opposite of
[21:15] what I was trying to do to him. But one point that I no
[21:22] longer had mobility. When he made it, he tried to make me sexal.
[21:30] I' m starting to kick my ass. I never let cry,
[21:33] I never let say no. He never meant no, no, no,
[21:38] and I was excited that he was and he was getting excited and he was
[21:48] taking that off and turning it off until he was never taking his clothes off
[21:52] He was really making me up from the bed trying to see how I could
[21:55] get out of there. Perfect mencuo, how the walls were, the color
[22:00] of the sheets, why I needed to see how it was going to get
[22:06] out of there I was pounced after opening the left casbon with how much.
[22:18] He puts it on and penetrates me and at that moment what I thought.
[22:23] You' re an object that doesn' t make you, don' t
[22:32] move, and I didn' t move. When he finished, what he
[22:37] did was he did die and lied. I turn to see and he told
[22:42] me and you' re the most frigid woman that good. I' m
[22:47] listening. He went to the bathroom to throw away the condom and I started
[22:52] picking up my flash, my pants and between thefts and them, or because
[23:00] I couldn' t move them that nothing. I can' t explain to
[23:03] a woman that I' m sorry I' m raped, but someone can
[23:06] ' t. It' s not the same as when someone has a sex
[23:10] relationship. It' s not the same. She wouldn' t give me
[23:14] her legs, she couldn' t walk, she didn' t understand if
[23:17] she was draught, she didn' t understand anything. He managed to close
[23:18] my shirt. Then I get my stuff, I get to the door,
[23:22] and that' s when I grab my neck and he says to me that
[23:26] you said something about what happened here. I' ll kill you, I
[23:30] ' ll kill you. That' s one thing I understood, and it
[23:45] was that if I wanted to get out of there, it was what I
[23:51] ' m going to say to you. I won' t say anything,
[23:53] I won' t do anything. Then he changed his personality drastically and even
[24:02] offered to take me to school and said no. I went to the house
[24:07] of a lady who read me the letters because at that moment, because there
[24:11] the girl was in it and I waited for her hours on the stairs.
[24:18] He had blood on his clothes, he was here, I mean, the
[24:26] caraja. All because I know, because when the lady saw me, she
[24:30] told me who did this to you, and she was the first person to
[24:33] tell her what happened to me. Then I went back to school and finkick
[24:42] Oh, if nothing had happened, my dad picked me up at school.
[24:51] I had more clothes and everything, as he realized and I remember being invited
[24:56] to dinner because they wanted to make the passes with me, so I didn
[25:04] ' t go to my house and I went to bathe and I think I
[25:11] shut up so many bices because I felt so dirty, so dirty that there
[25:18] was no way to clean a brand I felt and the next day I had
[25:26] rehearsal. When he got to the rehearsal with everyone in the cast, the
[25:33] first thing I do is I didn' t go up until I didn'
[25:38] t see there were any more people up there and when I get back up
[25:41] there is the little girl? Is that the little girl? That little girl?
[25:42] She was always the little girl. It was changed after I left on
[25:48] missions. When I go on missions, he starts dialing me to different phone
[25:52] numbers, a very stalking outside, starts sending me pictures even of babies and
[26:00] saying these are going to be our children. And this is going to be
[26:03] so. And this is going to be on missions when you' re broadcasting
[26:07] in the saw, there' s no signal. Well, not having a
[26:11] signal was worse, because he had a son who was waiting for me to
[26:19] come back to get all his anger out because the girl hadn' t answered
[26:26] all the messages. When I went back to work, one of the things
[26:33] that makes me first is that I was changing my clothes and in front of
[26:38] all my colleagues opened the door to see me naked and the one that came
[26:42] to close the door was the other producer and people there began to realize that
[26:47] something was not normal. To that person I told him that he had been
[26:52] veiled was a priest. Third was a professor of psychology of mine. What
[26:57] did the priest say? It' s just that no one told me.
[27:03] That' s the worst of it. I' d do more printing to
[27:07] find out what the psychotherapist who' s a priest told me. He'
[27:11] s a priest. It' s your profession and it' s common.
[27:14] In your profession you have to forgive my teacher. Every psychoanalyst told me veil
[27:23] as if it was a kiss you didn' t want to give and let
[27:29] it go because you wanted to be an actress. And that happened a lot
[27:32] in the middle. The psychoanalyst to you this wow, when the people you
[27:38] most admire tell you that is very strong. I didn' t have a
[27:45] friend of mine in the race, because this person kept calling me constantly as
[27:53] if we were in a relationship, even though when we met in rehearsals it
[27:56] treated me very badly. One day I got out of one of my classes
[28:03] and I had it next to me because you couldn' t have the phone
[28:08] and put it in the taboo so that someone else would listen to the madness
[28:14] that I was living and that it wasn' t normal and among the threats
[28:25] that came from saying what had happened to other people. Oh yes, because
[28:33] it was threatening me because I was going to. I didn' t try
[28:45] to finish something that never started a nice way by saying hey, I don
[28:52] ' t know what you played, but it' s just that I have
[29:00] nothing with you but a strictly work relationship, and then he grabbed me for
[29:12] the next few months to torment me until the 29th of May of that year
[29:19] and didn' t rape me again. Why didn' t I leave the
[29:23] play, because I was very afraid, because it got to the point where
[29:27] one day I went to the University of Nahuac and stopped outside because when I
[29:36] was going to have a man to the play, a man, I talk
[29:38] about people at my age, my companions, yes, yes, it'
[29:45] s more, I didn' t know, right now, how old I
[29:47] was. I just came in who' s 45 years old. I'
[29:51] m twenty- seven. When my college colleagues came to see the play,
[29:56] there was a man in the audience. I knew the door was closed later
[30:00] because I got a scolding. Just me. I had two team companies that
[30:11] talked to him. The producer talked to him. They said if you don
[30:15] ' t tolerate her, if she' s a bad actress, if it
[30:19] ' s like you say, a good one for nothing, then why don
[30:22] ' t you run her. But it' s already you. He wouldn
[30:26] ' t let me quit, he didn' t want to run. And
[30:30] I didn' t want people to come in, because what would happen the
[30:33] day that people who were going to believe me or one day a partner would
[30:45] give me the short teatron stairs crying because we did go back to where we
[30:55] met, to work, that went in short theater and I go crying and
[31:00] asked me You' re super unhappy. You' re a girl who'
[31:10] s got everything ahead of her. You' re going through some very complicated
[31:14] things. She knew she was the same country as Colombia. He' s
[31:18] from Colombia and he told me I know you' re trying to see how
[31:22] to cry and exhume your friend' s body. I don' t think
[31:26] you' re looking at almost this I told him I can' t.
[31:33] After he saw that I had been talking to her, he locked me in
[31:37] the theater bathroom to punish me for talking more. But I think the worst
[31:57] thing I could have done those months was one day she ran to the most
[32:05] protected me that she was the producer. He happened a terrible way in front
[32:09] of everyone and I was only there because somehow I felt protected by her.
[32:15] In fact, she was trying to get my deputy to perform the days that
[32:21] he was and I was when he wasn' t and somehow magically, he
[32:25] always came in and also when I was. I don' t know if
[32:30] anyone can excite you to see how someone is on the screen raped six times
[32:37] or in the theater six times, but it was a very strong play.
[32:43] We had, in fact, a lot of people who fought, who got
[32:49] angry when I saw her as from the outside as a spectator. It'
[32:52] s extremely strong, because I' ve never seen the priest really do like
[32:55] he was masturbating. But very clearly and when I say the worst, the
[33:02] worst moment for me of those months was the day he decides to act as
[33:08] a priest six functions. He ate what he hadn' t yelled at the
[33:15] performance he' d never given. I can tell you that those six functions
[33:20] the cry of Bethlehem, after they rape her, tears him in his clothes.
[33:29] It was how I felt that day, or worse, because now I
[33:35] was being seen by fifteen twenty people and they were seeing me as my rapist.
[33:44] I had the right to cibir again. I decided to do this to
[33:58] myself until that day came. Ce I' m not here to play the
[34:00] last show. The truth, he doesn' t see. I can'
[34:05] t, I can' t, I can' t, I can'
[34:07] t erase the group. Nobody ever paid me. I didn' t want
[34:10] anyone looking for me. It was like you' re here bye. I
[34:14] want to see nothing again. Vest I don' t want to see anything
[34:16] again. I ran into it. Six months later, when I ran into
[34:24] it, I was shocked and that' s when my anxiety disorder started.
[34:30] And that' s when I started to have to be medicated, so you
[34:35] find yourself out of nowhere. I found her at the same company where we
[34:39] were working out of nowhere. He saw me and as soon as he saw
[34:45] me, see if I' ve run fast from my life. That'
[34:46] s one of the times I ran the fastest and followed you. You don
[34:52] ' t know after I didn' t see him again. Until well begins
[35:01] my backlash, which was rather a post- thematic stress disorder. I didn
[35:09] ' t know what was happening to me. I only knew that I had
[35:14] suddenly found a good child with whom I had a relationship, someone I can
[35:20] say helped me a lot because by their philosophy of life, a family came,
[35:24] because there I did not believe in having relationships before marriage. That helped
[35:31] a lot. But, on the other hand, there was one thing he
[35:36] didn' t like about him and it was him that I was already marked.
[35:42] I mean, he told you that. Then, the next two years,
[35:47] I tried almost not to act and at some point another Nahuac priest told
[35:55] me why. I don' t start talking about what happened to you and
[36:00] I wanted to do it. I didn' t because I was in love
[36:06] and I was going to marry that person. She was so small. I
[36:10] was 20 when she caught me and I didn' t. In March of
[36:16] two thousand eighteen they offer me a play and that' s when I begin
[36:22] to notice that, despite being in love, one also has to know how
[36:25] to set limits. We had had what is called the premarital course and talking
[36:30] to a priest, I said that what I most wanted was to start talking
[36:36] about what had happened to me. For that reason I had also gone to
[36:40] the United Nations to represent the Nahuac and suddenly started talking about women who had
[36:46] suffered rape and for some reason, I don' t know why, but
[36:52] suddenly I stopped and it was the first time I spoke. I didn'
[36:55] t tell the story, detail, nothing, but it was so liberating that
[37:00] I said I want to do that again. I can' t believe it
[37:04] anymore. It can' t just continue to be something of my therapy and
[37:12] the priest of the supermarital course turned to me and told me if you want
[37:15] your marriage to work, you have to do one thing. When you move
[37:20] the trash, the trash starts to read, so when you' re not
[37:24] gonna have in life that you wear. And then I had to choose between
[37:34] this or starting to release my demons. And I chose to start releasing my
[37:39] demons. And the first big test. That was actually giving me some time
[37:45] with my partner. Well, my fiancé offers me short theater, but in
[37:55] coyoacán. I do, I think there was an angel or super big one
[38:00] who protected me that day. It was two days before this play premiered.
[38:06] He came in and I brought my bracelet from San Benito, because the bracelet
[38:10] exploded and it wasn' t that it was a lot in those things,
[38:14] but I said it' s weird. I went and passed. The play.
[38:16] She was the lead. It was over and the next day a friend
[38:23] who knew she had been raped and knew who she had been. Yeah,
[38:29] there was already at the time. I had already started talking to certain people,
[38:32] few, but I had started talking. He sends me just like there
[38:39] ' s a roaster of all the actors that are and there was a picture
[38:44] of him and mine and I said there' s no way. I was
[38:47] in my class at the time. I was in the master' s degree.
[38:52] We were just about to finish class and I passed out. I couldn
[38:57] ' t mean, you can' t one of see how we' re
[39:02] doing again in a March, about to star a play and it' s
[39:07] in my same place as me how and asking you realize that just a day
[39:13] before he had been there, the same night as me. I was so
[39:15] lucky I didn' t come across it, and I' m always gonna
[39:20] say it. I was so lucky I didn' t come across it.
[39:25] That' s when I call the producer of that play and tell him I
[39:29] won' t be able to do the play. I' m talking to
[39:31] my parents, I' m talking about what was going on. You meet
[39:35] your dads and dads and dads and dads. At first I didn' t
[39:42] say who. I just said about the play. So they were trying which
[39:46] one of the guys in the play. It was until I didn' t
[39:50] have another one, because it was very obvious it was in the same photo.
[39:54] And I think there wasn' t that much awareness, because at that
[39:59] moment what the producer offers me is we put you, you, we put
[40:02] two body Wards, two bodyguards to protect you. And I said it'
[40:07] s not that you' re not getting it, I mean. I know
[40:09] what to suffer. I already know it' s gonna be in the same
[40:13] space as this person working. You' re not gonna come and tell me.
[40:16] And then this person goes and talks to and told them it' s
[40:22] not going to premiere tomorrow and he told them why, although then they won
[40:25] ' t deny it and they' ll keep denying it. It' s
[40:28] okay. I know he said it, because I have it on him that
[40:31] he told them and it' s something that I didn' t keep before.
[40:37] Now I' m deleting absolutely nothing from us. Message coming, message
[40:40] staying. Yeah,' cause in the end what happens to us makes you
[40:46] and above all that feeling that it' s you who' s going crazy
[40:51] and what you hear you don' t listen to it. So you want
[40:53] somehow to have a support, a whole sa of telling people yes, look
[40:59] at this it happened, because how do you show people something that happened almost
[41:01] two years ago, that is, two years ago. So that' s
[41:08] when we put my parents and I on a scale and say and it was
[41:14] what you want to do? And I said I don' t want to
[41:22] advertise? Don' t you want to quit? I said no, I
[41:25] don' t want to announce, because it was happening to another actress here
[41:30] in Mexico and her career was coming in Piqué and everyone was criticizing nothing else,
[41:34] not being able and it was happening at the same time in Argentina,
[41:37] Thelma the Mafaren, who is a friend of mine, very close to me.
[41:39] Today, at that time we didn' t know each other, we
[41:44] met just because of everything that happened to her and when I saw how society
[41:49] attacked them both, I said I can' t. Then I went back
[41:53] to my bubble. Nothing happened until they started calling me from the inmate and
[42:00] they started threatening me to die in the inmate and suddenly they even scored some
[42:06] lawyers saying it was his voice. I had another manager at the time.
[42:12] He gets me to go do an Argentina series. I' m going all
[42:16] April to Argentina, part of April and May. He returned to Argentina and
[42:22] was all calm and then arrived in June. Two thousand and eighteen. June
[42:28] of the two thousand eighteen I was at an event to support a person who
[42:32] had helped me in my career and it was not the first event that I
[42:37] went to support him. But he had missed the previous event, which had
[42:39] been a Sunday before because of a family issue, and did not know that
[42:45] this person had presented himself at that event and did not know that he was
[42:52] shocked by the invitation to go to this other event. Then it was a
[42:57] campaign closure. I didn' t choose at what point to file my rape
[43:02] report. I didn' t have that selection. I didn' t choose
[43:08] that day. Neither or being smelled and I didn' t choose to be
[43:10] beaten either. It hit you that day, so it happened and you reach
[43:15] n on the 24th of June from two thousand eighteen to the well, not
[43:20] six years until Monday, at eleven o' clock in the morning, had
[43:28] to start to get to the press. Suddenly someone comes in the back or
[43:31] they touch me and they say what this little girl is saying and then they
[43:40] turn me around and I swear to you, I swear to God. Yeah,
[43:44] I could' ve snuck in, but I really icated like this,
[43:47] please, I' m really asking you, please, I would have done
[43:52] it at that level. He grabbed my arms super hard and told me we
[43:57] have a talk look. No one got in, no one when they saw
[44:04] that I was going to get away. One of the cameramen who' d
[44:07] seen me grow all my life. I made her, I' m sorry,
[44:09] but I have to interview her later you can talk to her whatever you
[44:14] want and then what they do. It' s him with another person who
[44:16] had been in the same play, who is person and me and with others
[44:22] they start pulling me out of the park one day, not him to me
[44:25] and I frame my father to come for me and my father I think he
[44:29] flew. I don' t know what he did, but he got here
[44:32] real fast, because when I was leaving the park and I got out of
[44:37] the park, he was inside. And when my father comes to pick me
[44:42] up, he doesn' t find me. He doesn' t find me
[44:45] because I wasn' t in that very new moment the motive, because I
[44:50] was listening in the story of my partner who had been with me in the
[44:52] play and the story the next, in the two years that I had no
[44:59] contact with anyone of that work, it turns out that they cast saying that
[45:07] the Vatican was financing a film, a movie where they talked about pederasty,
[45:14] and not only about pedrasty, but also about the abuse of women by priests,
[45:19] and they did castings at this man' s house. In fact,
[45:22] this woman was invited to the casting and she refused to want to go to
[45:29] the casting and he totally attacked her. I mean, another woman did it,
[45:32] no, she didn' t rape her. I mean, he attacked
[45:37] her verbally by message, because I already told him, I' m not
[45:39] going to go stripping a casting, let alone for a character that I already
[45:44] did in a play. She was my understudy. At the end of the
[45:46] day, then I don' t even know why they kept in touch.
[45:52] It' s none of my business. When she gives me the audios and
[45:58] when I was talking more or less, how was the castings thing that had
[46:01] been in November of the year two thousand and eighteen. Not two thousand eighteen,
[46:07] not two thousand seventeen. I' m thinking wait. I' m
[46:12] not crazy, I' ve never been crazy. This person really has a
[46:16] severe problem and at that time it' s when I realize that all this
[46:25] time he had been a victim. He wasn' t guilty, it wasn
[46:31] ' t my fault, because of me, because of me. I was
[46:35] a victim and I hadn' t noticed. Then I see my father talking
[46:43] to my assailant inside and when I see that, they were just holding me
[46:49] from the jacket the jans and I see that I was going to hit my
[46:53] dad and there I did say no, I don' t know where the
[46:59] courage came in that I dare him whatever you want, but I let go.
[47:02] I went into the sunken park. I didn' t realize all the
[47:06] cameras were already there. It didn' t matter the cameras. When they
[47:09] were going to touch you the person you love the most in this world,
[47:14] what my father is. I don' t care about the cameras, nobody
[47:17] cared. Then I came and told my dad you don' t touch him
[47:22] because you' re a rapist and his face was. If I could right
[47:30] now, I' d kill you, but I can' t. Then
[47:35] he had two seconds where he turned around, pretended to leave, put on
[47:40] the boxing clock and went back there. Burff, my father was behind me.
[47:46] My father' s six inches tall. I' m the stopper.
[47:51] I' m so tall at sixty- eight pounds. At that time,
[47:57] fifty- three, my father will weigh eighty. Imagine how strong, that
[48:00] was the blow that yok and my arm father fell, bleeding face, bleeding.
[48:07] Well, here' s my scar, the war scar. As I
[48:09] would say to Mila Joboys, who told me, never make it up again
[48:13] because it' s beautiful and thanks to her it' s never. I
[48:15] don' t feel bad for her anymore. M cost me a lot.
[48:21] It cost me a lot of things in a second my life. If he
[48:23] came down and I keep hitting myself on the floor, it' s not
[48:28] like I was half unconscious. It was the people who took him away and
[48:31] took him out of the place. The question I' ve always asked is
[48:35] what would have happened if I hadn' t found myself on that side?
[48:37] And I would have found myself anywhere else, him and me alone. I
[48:43] ' m perfectly sure I don' t go out alive. When this opens
[48:46] Pandora' s box opens, I didn' t want to go out and
[48:51] talk to the media. At the time, I was very embarrassed. They
[48:55] just hit me. I' ve got four bad vertebrae on my back.
[49:00] From this, in fact, I can' t do any high- impact
[49:04] exercise. Not only did they have to do a more sofacial reconstruction, but
[49:09] it was he having to face that wherever he went. And I give you
[49:14] a very simple example. The next day I also worked as a teacher of
[49:19] children, teaching English and took the two kids to buy an HDM cable.
[49:24] I don' t remember. If he went to a sams or a costco
[49:28] white time, the parents, if they knew what had happened to me.
[49:31] We told the kids we were going to tell them that I had had an
[49:35] automobile accident. That' s my work ethic. Imagine I had been beaten
[49:37] one day before and went to work the next day. That' s how
[49:43] I' ve changed it a little bit Canada, but that' s how
[49:45] I was. There was no way I wouldn' t get to work on
[49:49] a set. There was no way. Then you tell me. You file
[49:55] the complaint. He announces it to forgiveness. I file the same complaint as
[50:00] the day I was beaten. I mean, I get sewn up and I
[50:05] ' m off one to file both complaints. I mean, I' m
[50:08] looking for the first lawyer who can help me with both reports of crimes,
[50:15] because the one about greedy injuries was easier. We put it in. I
[50:17] put my father on you People who had also been raped today, okay,
[50:23] and those women. One has a folder on sex crimes taxation and it'
[50:31] s the year two thousand eleven. That woman who contacted me, when she
[50:36] told me her story, was super like mine. It was as if I
[50:40] ' d found a sister who' s not blood, but I understand perfection.
[50:46] She was raped with a knife in her throat and then there are others.
[50:53] Next. In fact, she' s given me permission to put on
[50:59] the audio of what happened to her. For that matter, I would say
[51:06] at this moment only victims. She was cabbage She' s Colombian. I
[51:12] ' d be victim three. With you, well, of course, if
[51:15] you tell me, Victoma three, but if we go in order of appearance,
[51:22] for it would be in fact, she would be victim, one,
[51:24] victim two, two thousand eleven, victim three. I and the damas that
[51:28] I have in the middle of the middle son, not the others that I
[51:31] have in that they were between those years, that they were not raped,
[51:37] but abused, and that they all searched me to tell my stories, stories
[51:42] from where by digital applications they had been contacted all or had been cited in
[51:52] coyoacán such number or in the place where I was raped. But there was
[51:57] no way to say these women didn' t know him. There' s
[52:00] no way to say that this hasn' t happened any more times and until
[52:05] today there is the other folder and out of respect that I have a lot
[52:12] of that person, I don' t say his name, but for me,
[52:15] she and the Colombian girl' s case, for me they are the
[52:19] most shocking. I think they' re more than mine, because the Colombian
[52:22] girl he met at an FM three thing when you come to work as a
[52:29] foreigner to the country, because he' s a now naturalized foreigner. And
[52:34] good. One day, coming out of a dealership to buy merchandise, from
[52:40] an ox, he told her he was taking her home. She would never
[52:45] imagine that on that radio at home she would rather fight for her life,
[52:47] because the next few minutes she tried to get sexal. She started masturbating while
[52:57] he was wearing clothes. He tore his clothes completely, broke everything he had
[53:05] until she managed to open the car door and discraped and escaped outside the Fischers
[53:09] of Naples and the next day and that same day he spoke to people and
[53:15] told them what had happened and neither did anyone tell him what to do.
[53:23] So here I am, nine years after my rape. I have no pity
[53:30] to say she was raped. I don' t think it' s the
[53:32] one for violating history. I think there are even more horrible things that can
[53:37] happen to the lia. I feel very lucky to be alive, very easy
[53:44] from the outside to say why you didn' t talk. But if you
[53:47] don' t really know the whole context and there' s also a very
[53:52] strong stigma and up to the day or we have it and there' s
[54:01] one thing very UAs women think why not, why I stood still, and
[54:06] it' s a natural survival reaction. Either you stay frozen to save your
[54:08] life or you can fight struggles, but when that person is so powerful,
[54:15] physically what the reaction you have is I stay still, the most important thing
[54:20] is my life, because I can no longer run out my image. I
[54:23] felt an object and they blame themselves on how it is that I stand still.
[54:27] Don' t stand still, because it' s the reaction your body
[54:31] has to preserve your life and that' s what you did. That'
[54:36] s what you had to do. You want to share these terrible situations because
[54:42] I' m sure there are women there who know who you are and know
[54:47] who you are and probably contact you. You know why she wanted to do
[54:51] it right now, because, even though I know you many years ago and
[54:57] I could have done it at any time, the list you know. In
[55:01] fact, last night, I stopped by 3: 00 in the morning and
[55:05] went to wake my mom up and I told her I don' t know
[55:09] if I' m ready, because I' ve been called crocodile tears.
[55:13] I' ve been told of all the media at first, not all,
[55:17] but there were those who gave him the space, and I understand the replica
[55:22] space is important, but it was to revictimize me over and over and over
[55:28] again there were people who carried graphologists, criminologists. People notice a super unethical
[55:31] thing. People who read body language like this don' t get to read
[55:37] body language. It' s not as simple as saying this. It means
[55:40] this, this is the other thing, I, I think imagine less in
[55:45] a video that' s recorded with a camera I know isn' t even
[55:46] a four, four kas no and besides, you know how it' s
[55:51] done. I appreciate it. I don' t know if it' s
[56:00] her patient I' m sorry to interrupt you, but I just want it
[56:06] to never happen to a child again. I have two nieces. I love
[56:10] them madly, madly, and look. I have a mother- in-
[56:20] law who' s really my maximum before I enter the forum. Just the
[56:24] one I talked to was my sister- in- law and my mother-
[56:27] in- law. My mother knew she was coming, of course, I
[56:30] spoke to her in the morning, but my mother- in- law told
[56:34] me you were the strongest woman I ever had. I know why you'
[56:37] re going to be ashamed, you' re my daughter, because I'
[56:40] m my daughter and my sister- in- law have their own stories.
[56:45] He told me you' re doing it for my daughter. Then don'
[56:52] t be quiet, because I don' t live in this country. I
[56:54] didn' t see in Mexico. I left because of the numbers of death
[56:58] threats I had to me, me or mom is the same person. One
[57:01] day he followed her from a church to our house, when the coup process
[57:08] was in place to tell her that I would bring her down. We were
[57:12] going down because I knew where we lived. Never happened, nothing, never
[57:15] went to jail. And for today, because it is free and it is
[57:22] only, I can say, linked to process at this moment, linked to
[57:27] process of free form. That' s because I' m not supposed to
[57:30] be shocked, but the question I have for Mexico is and I don'
[57:35] t care that it' s legal, but I' m asking you as
[57:38] a woman as well. After knowing what else is there, it doesn'
[57:43] t impact if you leave someone out. It doesn' t impact, it
[57:46] doesn' t really impact. There' s no conscience. They can'
[57:52] t check the folders and know that they exist more, because if you think
[57:58] I' m going to keep quiet, look I' ll tell you just
[58:04] the way, but I' m going to take care of what he'
[58:07] s not jailed. I have no words. I' m so sorry.
[58:14] My career is over. You know, you know what they said to my
[58:19] managers yesterday, and I' d really ask all the producers that we can
[58:22] ' t work with her because look at all the conflict that was raising the
[58:28] voice ended up being. I' m not the worst enemy. No.
[58:30] I think there are big producers who are just going to support you more.
[58:35] I don' t really doubt it. Now look. Two six years of
[58:39] my life has been in Mexico. There are great producers who today understand when
[58:45] they see your testimony. When they hear the whole thing, they' re
[58:55] going to say yes, I believe you a lot of real radios. You
[59:13] like this testimony. You think I can help someone share it with you.
[59:17] Don' t forget to click on my social networks, which are Silvia Olmedo
[59:22] for YouTube, Silvia Olmedo for Instagram and Silvia Olmedo official for Facebook, who
[59:30] remembers that, before judging to tag a person, try to understand why faces
[59:35] we see suffering. We don' t know.

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