# What Men Want In The “Perfect” Girlfriend | Ep. 130

An episode of [Menisms](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1608929536), 28 May 2026, 1 h 04 min.

Audio: https://anchor.fm/s/81693d28/podcast/play/120655415/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-4-28%2Fe1627aaa-dd85-98e9-edd5-c742e182c055.mp3

What does it really take to be the “perfect” girlfriend? And more importantly… does she even exist? In the final episode of the season, the guys dive into the expectations men place on women, the pressure to “perform” perfectly in relationships, and the age-old conversation that starts it all: men and women are different. From communication styles to emotional needs, this episode unpacks the tension, misunderstandings, and standards that shape modern relationships. It’s honest, debatable, slightly chaotic, and the perfect way to close out the season. Menisms will be back very soon with more conversations, more hot takes, and more moments that’ll have you arguing with your headphones. Feel free to leave us a comment. Got questions, feedback or want to share your experiences? 👉 https://forms.gle/5WkUNhx1fzPbubpy7 Follow the guys: Isyomar: https://www.instagram.com/isyomar/ Murewa: https://x.com/olumurewa?t=OYgAtjTrJQLWUWG5YmyvLA&s=0

## Transcript

[0:00] Let's look at the scenario objectively, because that's what
[0:02] men do with other things. Objectively, you don't have
[0:05] money. I also don't have money but I'm
[0:09] the broke one. You are understanding.
[0:12] Why? How you would see girls in
[0:15] common saying go girl, you're beautiful, you did it.
[0:17] I will not see that picture. No, fine.
[0:19] You know, they were like I cool man, cool girl.
[0:24] You ate what? She ate the picture.
[0:29] Because I can't see anything else.
[0:33] Let's see for example with the outside or something, then
[0:35] ladies and also some of them say if I'm using a woman.
[0:40] Like. No, God, I'm like no, that
[0:44] person needs to understand that that is bullshit.
[0:47] Don't tell me that not woman No, let's tell her what is wrong.
[0:52] I know no matter we know me. I know they ain't no certain
[0:54] that's perfect, because what can be good for this goose might not
[1:00] be good for this cat. What's up guys, Welcome back to
[1:11] another episode of your favorite podcast.
[1:13] My name is More welcome. And I miss you more.
[1:15] OK, 1-2 and. This is medicines, ladies and
[1:18] gentlemen. All right, so before we get
[1:21] right into anything, guys, sub sub sub medicines is going on a
[1:27] quick break. Honestly, I promise we're not
[1:29] going to be gone for too long, but there are going to be a.
[1:32] Seasonal break, man, guys. Need to go on a little break,
[1:35] but we'll be back before you know it.
[1:38] But right before then, my G, how are you feeling?
[1:39] How are you feeling? Well, I'm feeling good, feeling
[1:43] good. How's the last few?
[1:45] In fact, how many, how many weeks has it been now you know,
[1:47] we've recorded back-to-back to? Back.
[1:49] Yeah, man, I have how many episodes now?
[1:51] I'm talking about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1:53] And OG maybe? Like 20 episodes.
[1:55] I think it's over 20. I think it's over 20.
[1:57] Yeah, I've lost count. That's crazy, man.
[1:58] Lost. Count.
[1:59] I've lost count. Actually, we you know what
[2:01] you're right. Should be over 20.
[2:02] Well, what were? You.
[2:03] I have all that, man. I'm coming into my own as a
[2:05] podcaster. Nice, nice.
[2:08] Nice, nice. It's going it's going good.
[2:09] What's crazy is this let me just say my own my own should I say
[2:12] my own? What was crazy for me is that so
[2:16] you know, you know, I've been acting for like 3 years and
[2:17] stuff Yeah, I mean, at least I've been on camera.
[2:19] I've been on some Netflix, Prime.
[2:21] We, we, we have nice CV. We've been in some places.
[2:24] But I swear the love or the healing I get from outside,
[2:31] brah, it's not from any of those.
[2:33] It's from the pod. I want to shout out to Cosi.
[2:38] I think his name is Cosi. How?
[2:40] I don't call your name right. But I don't know if he he met
[2:42] you at the the AMVCA the last time we went OK.
[2:47] I think so I. Think yeah yeah I just saw Brian
[2:48] his energy was just like oh man, I know if you see many things
[2:51] guys no hell man, but I was just AI don't the XD the I was just
[2:56] chilled so shout out to you Cosi man yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't.
[2:59] Think I got anyone's name but I I did.
[3:01] I'm fractured, but I'm noise around that code.
[3:03] Something, I don't remember. It was a cougar.
[3:05] Cougar. So shout out to you.
[3:06] Keep listening, you know? Yeah.
[3:07] Yeah, I. Mean the love is always
[3:08] undiluted. I'm always still shocked.
[3:10] I keep telling people like, I'm not celebrity.
[3:12] I'm not anybody like, hey people, I know I have to get
[3:15] used to the fact that people know who I.
[3:17] Am yeah, Brooke, like it's crazy.
[3:19] Like it's dope, it's dope, but it's crazy.
[3:21] Even when I was at the GT Co food, this one what even killed
[3:24] me about this hey or whatever. Normally most of the time it's
[3:27] guys that walk up to me because, you know, it's medicine.
[3:30] Now that's just our people. They walk up to me.
[3:32] I saw it was some girl and her friend and these were the
[3:35] youngins. That's what they're young.
[3:37] When I say younggins because we've kind of also like they're
[3:39] just saying they're 27, shut up, shut up.
[3:44] So I was saying maybe like early 20s or whatever what the GT code
[3:47] is now doing my thing. And she was like, hello, Shoma.
[3:50] I looked, I'm like, the fuck are you like like from where?
[3:55] She's like I listen to many zooms.
[3:56] I was like, oh shit, I keep it up, you know, survive, survive
[4:02] in. Fact.
[4:03] I think, I think I get, I get more and it's crazy.
[4:06] I've been doing this for a while.
[4:07] You know, you think that by now I should be used to.
[4:09] But yeah, I still got even even at the award show that we
[4:12] attended the AMBCS, bro, there was someone that I met like he
[4:15] just healed my bra alpha. And because you know these
[4:17] things guys do where someone greets you, you're not sure if
[4:22] you're supposed to remember the. Person.
[4:23] But you just remember the person.
[4:25] Yeah, my idea now from where the person is like, no bro, you do
[4:28] many things. I know you.
[4:29] Oh, OK, I don't know. All the time, right?
[4:32] Because you know why you don't want to.
[4:33] Form like oh, you're proud of your forming celeb so you're
[4:36] trying to One guy really just shook me and was hitting.
[4:38] I went out to do my car something one time he was just
[4:40] hitting me like ah bro, man. I wasn't like hey man, Bruno
[4:43] Vex, I beg remind me. It's like, you don't know me
[4:46] man, but I know you. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, like
[4:50] so like, you know, I'm not like how isn't like and I've caught
[4:52] some of the stuff. I've been in like 1 of my most
[4:54] recent series called two of them.
[4:55] So you. Just know that one is a staunch.
[4:57] Fire. Yeah, you're not like, oh man,
[4:58] like come on, I should get this off for now.
[5:00] My head I'm like, no, the hell I don't.
[5:02] That shit is new to me. Honestly, I have gotten it
[5:05] often, but I I can't get used to it.
[5:07] I cannot, Yeah, even in the most important presidential places,
[5:09] from the most of presidential people, my mom's friends will
[5:12] come and be like, Oh yeah, all the children.
[5:14] I'm like, hey, I honestly, I forget because there's a whole
[5:17] other life so I forget. But you know, I mean, in the
[5:20] end, we still love the love. You know, the love has always
[5:22] been what's kept us going so. Shout out to everybody, yeah.
[5:25] So it's not sad news, it's good news.
[5:27] So we're going to be back before you guys know it, but you know.
[5:30] New energy, rebranding, repackaging, reviving.
[5:33] We're just coming back with a was that.
[5:35] Yep, Yep, Yep. No, I mean you.
[5:37] Said that one of my favorite book moments in the last few
[5:38] months is our photo shoots. I still think that was one of
[5:43] the best experiences. I've in the what's painting is
[5:45] that they wouldn't have this one that they've no St. got in.
[5:47] You guys don't know Justin. You guys don't?
[5:49] Know how we cooked for? That, but I'm sure that was
[5:51] actually vibe chamber. My, my, my, that's our what do
[5:55] you call it? The the the launch video, the
[5:59] one that has us. See first of all first.
[6:04] Of all, if you go on IG, if we have if that video has 1000
[6:16] views, I have 900 of those views.
[6:22] Well, we're discussing it because we do have what we're
[6:24] discussing. I was like, Nah, this I think, I
[6:27] think. Of all the because I usually
[6:29] always have oh, can we move this camera in that one?
[6:31] I was like this, It was perfect. There's no I could not vouch
[6:33] against it. I just went to meet the editor
[6:35] and hugged him. I was like.
[6:36] Thanks, bro. It was too hard, man.
[6:38] It was so good. Even the photos that came from
[6:41] that particular shoot and that scene we're also one of the
[6:44] hardest, you know, that's our main managing photo at the
[6:47] moment. So you know, so Yep, Yep, Yep.
[6:49] So again, it's it's, it's, it was good vibes, man, It was good
[6:52] vibes. Absolutely have loved the last
[6:54] few months. We can only go up from here, you
[6:57] know, So, but as usual, guys, we're going to jump out into the
[7:00] episode. OK, but it gets poor job before
[7:02] I still reminiscent now about to leave these guys, man, let's
[7:04] let's talk back. You know, I'm saying there's no
[7:06] rush or just the last one last time they're going to see us
[7:08] before a few minutes. So why not rush?
[7:10] I rush into the episode. Take a chill pill, guys.
[7:12] I mean, you know on those chill don't relate with those
[7:15] conversate and I'm a converse. Sorry, conversation is actually
[7:17] not a word apparently. So that's a very good one
[7:20] because actually. It is I'm right acting on my
[7:23] own. It's it's it's a.
[7:25] American who like I'm this people know like I'm touching, I
[7:27] think. No, I think what it was was it
[7:29] was Old English against like New English.
[7:31] No good move. Some words but conversate still.
[7:33] Somewhere there is. It 'cause I said I'm like, no,
[7:35] that's not a word. You just converse and I'm like
[7:38] converse. No, the no, the we conversate.
[7:42] Now that we're having a conversation, we conversate him.
[7:45] Yeah, but I'd be, I'd be safe and I just converse.
[7:47] I don't want to cry myself. And I, well, yeah, I'll say it.
[7:51] We got out of the guest. So far, who's been your your
[7:54] fave? Honestly.
[7:58] I don't know if you say the same person as me, I'm curious who
[8:02] just just. A.
[8:11] Minute Honestly the dummy and yeah his movie is even out my
[8:22] bro yeah yeah yeah you guys need to go watch you guys yeah you
[8:25] guys need to go see it like like it's it's it's love let me just
[8:28] say you go make you one love. You know what I'm saying?
[8:30] Yep, Yep, and it was a great movie.
[8:32] When I say great movie in the aspect of like, if I'm going to
[8:34] give it, let me be critique. Now, if I'm going to give it is
[8:38] 9:45 because I'll give it 8.5. Well, I'll give it 8.5 because
[8:41] people might say, Oh, maybe because the light just came out.
[8:44] I went to watch it. The cinematographic epic, the
[8:47] colors epic, the acting tube, the no, the whole parole was too
[8:52] good. Like you know, when you're
[8:53] watching a movie and I was just feeling like I was watching one
[8:55] wicked as room come from the foreign land, You know what I
[8:58] mean? But I still there were still
[9:00] mixing in everything, but I feel yes, this is Nigel boat.
[9:03] The way it was shown, the way it was portrayed.
[9:05] It was like a full on ROM com. Girls are gonna love it.
[9:10] Sorry, ladies, women, you guys are gonna love this one.
[9:14] My man. You love him to go watch our
[9:16] mobile. You know what I'm watching that.
[9:18] He's like, you got love this one.
[9:26] But was it really was really good?
[9:28] Good, good, good. Dope story.
[9:29] Y'all go see his movie man. I go to the movies, the half of
[9:32] those cliche things, but you love it like cliche, like.
[9:36] Some people say that someone said that something that is so
[9:39] cream Bob because of how cream yes.
[9:41] Like, you know what these guys look like because no, we can, we
[9:44] can line this guy to talk here, but you know, you know.
[9:46] I want to hear what next is going to say.
[9:47] I want to hear what next they have to show me.
[9:49] No, No. No, it was a good one.
[9:50] It was a good one. It was a good one.
[9:52] But yeah, yeah, I'll say Dummy has been my vibest guest this
[9:55] year, you know? For now.
[9:57] For now, because we've had amazing guests.
[9:58] No, but everybody has been dope. Everyone's in guest.
[10:00] I had a great time with Toby. And Toby Zone was very, very
[10:03] dope, in fact. Toby Zone, Toby Zone I loved the
[10:06] energy in the room, you know, because the energy in the room,
[10:08] you could just tell that these were two people that absolutely
[10:11] loved while they were working together.
[10:13] You could feel it in like you could feel the process of their
[10:16] working together in the episode that we did, you know, so and I
[10:18] think it was it was definitely a vibe.
[10:20] It was definitely a vibe, You know, it's, it's been a, it's
[10:24] been a nice run. Like you guys don't even have an
[10:26] idea. Oh.
[10:26] Yeah, OK. Well, let me just let me know
[10:28] for myself. The top three, let me just say
[10:29] top three. Top three dummy, Toby and person
[10:32] who asked how many guests did I get?
[10:35] That really you're talking. About the ladies from the Binti
[10:38] talks so if you start taking back everybody was cool man
[10:43] there's. Just too many because now that
[10:46] you've mentioned that, so good, in fact, I have to go back at
[10:52] some point and like rewatch. No, the rewatch was the best of
[10:57] me. Still.
[10:59] What made? Me laugh the most was watching
[11:01] how I realized in real time like you see the official came from
[11:06] like she was like. A minute, by the way, guys, she
[11:11] actually called him like after we got off the episode, and I'm
[11:13] never sure if he showed up, but yeah, she actually called him
[11:15] and they actually had to like, clear some airbag.
[11:18] It was such a good episode. It was such a actually, you know
[11:20] what? Yeah, I don't really think that
[11:22] at this point at this. Point but I don't realize as I'm
[11:24] thinking back, I'm like. Yeah, having having best, best
[11:27] guests, even Mr. Mahogany, come on, come on.
[11:31] You know what? That was cool, you know.
[11:34] See, that was that one just came with some different kind of high
[11:39] end, you know, what's the word veteran?
[11:42] Veteran tea is what it was. There was no, yeah, I don't
[11:45] know. But yeah, like you just said,
[11:47] we've had, we've had too many good guests and I think there's
[11:51] just no way to really put any bottle or cap in.
[11:53] And honestly, the kind of guest we're also looking to have in
[11:56] the future. Let's just come back from this.
[11:58] No, everyone already. Let's just come back.
[12:00] You ain't ready this break. You ain't ready.
[12:02] But we are. You know, and I'm sure they've
[12:04] seen that even like with content energy, with everything.
[12:07] I mean, you guys seen that we give you guys a whole different.
[12:09] Vibe we're talking about just wait for us to.
[12:11] Come back. Just wait for us to come back,
[12:13] shout. Out to the back of house.
[12:14] Shout out to the back of house, back of house, always putting us
[12:16] on our toes. We keep begging them that we're
[12:18] grown men. Well, even though I'm just 26,
[12:20] but yes, we're still grown men. And I'm like, I can't be doing
[12:23] all these, but hey, they push us.
[12:26] They push us and we love it because.
[12:27] Of yeah, because because of this thing.
[12:28] And one day I will still bring your birth certificate on today
[12:31] guys. My word against yours.
[12:34] My word against yours. Yeah, so.
[12:38] But yeah. Good love, good love, good love.
[12:41] We have a game to play today. It's a very quick game.
[12:46] It's called 2 truths, 1 Lie. Let's see how we really know
[12:51] each other as Co host, shall we? I'm going to go 1st and I'm
[12:57] going to say 2 truths. I'm going to say 3 statements
[13:00] and he's going to guess which are the truths and which is a
[13:02] lie. I've driven in other countries
[13:21] like I've driven cars in other countries.
[13:25] I. I've been in a fatal accident
[13:37] and I'm extremely good at gymnastics.
[13:42] Like I can do backflips, front flips, I'm extremely good at
[13:45] gymnastics. Oh yeah, so I should pick which
[13:48] is the lie? Yep.
[13:49] Which is the truth, I mean, yeah, which is the lie.
[13:51] So let me you want to go you. Want to go again?
[13:57] Yeah, no, I know. I'm just going to say, yeah, you
[14:00] ain't no gymnast. And therein, ladies and
[14:05] gentlemen, is where he begins to fail.
[14:07] So right here, right? Now I will do the bathroom time.
[14:09] It's going to be so short that I'll see.
[14:11] So yeah, the lies that I've been in a fatal accident.
[14:13] I've never been in a fatal accident before.
[14:14] Oh wow. That let me out St.
[14:18] 'cause every almost everybody I'm like OK, OK.
[14:23] I've been in a little shit. To shit my tongue.
[14:24] Let me look in. OK.
[14:29] One is I was born in 1991. The other is I was born in
[14:40] another country, but I didn't end up getting like citizenship
[14:43] like I was just born there in another country.
[14:46] And last one is I'm single. Guys, it's too easy.
[15:02] Born another country that's. My, I would just like to let you
[15:08] know that this is where the cookie crumbles, because the
[15:10] same way I lost, the same way he did not lose before he asked.
[15:13] Yeah, that was correct. That was correct.
[15:16] I know this. *** single as a Pringle.
[15:17] I mean, if he doesn't have my birth certificate, I have his
[15:21] birth certificate. Because I was like, wait, I was
[15:27] on my toes. I didn't think too hard.
[15:29] No, like, wait, you don't get beep.
[15:31] I'm like, hey, I do. I might have.
[15:33] Well, we. Don't know, we're not what I
[15:35] might. Have I might have you never.
[15:36] Yeah, yeah. Guys, so at least now you know
[15:39] these facts about us. We have a dilemma we're going to
[15:43] read and this is from Kiki, so it says.
[15:49] So I have a dilemma a friend. Called Kiki to the friend
[15:52] though. Kiki.
[15:53] Cool, shout out to you. So I have a dilemma.
[15:57] I want to remove or block my eggs on all platforms if
[15:59] possible, but we have a lot of mutual friends.
[16:03] We were or are cool but I don't want to be friends anymore
[16:07] because of something that happened recently.
[16:10] We didn't really end on bad terms, but I don't want to have
[16:13] to answer questions from our mutual friends.
[16:16] I don't want weird scenarios where we have to meet up with
[16:19] our mutual friends from from university and make things
[16:22] complicated. What can I do honestly?
[16:28] That's it, that's it. Damn, I wish I read this.
[16:32] Block, block, block, block. See my brother, No bodies are
[16:37] both blocking. Absolutely nobody is above
[16:41] blocking. Yeah, and if.
[16:42] People are asking questions and why was it?
[16:43] Well, just tell them things happened.
[16:45] That's it. If they show you that no more do
[16:47] you want things happened. I know that.
[16:49] I'm neutral friend thing that you're saying.
[16:50] I get it some everybody friends a good stuff, but what's in
[16:54] gastro like you say, nobody where you guys go?
[16:58] You get me? If it's that whole group thing
[17:00] and you know this person is coming there, as long as FOMO is
[17:03] not doing you, bro, do something else, man.
[17:05] Yeah, but this guy said you blocked him.
[17:07] Yeah. Because I just felt like it.
[17:09] That's what I wanted. Why did you block her?
[17:10] Because I wanted to. It's very simple.
[17:12] Why did you block her? Because I wanted to.
[17:15] But don't. It's not to.
[17:16] It's not to protect your. What's the word?
[17:18] Your peace? Yes.
[17:19] No. Your tranquility you get.
[17:21] If it's not doing well for you, something don't happen.
[17:23] You didn't tell us. I mean, is there something
[17:25] happened? That's why you don't want to be
[17:26] friends. Amen.
[17:27] Keep that energy. Is that simple?
[17:29] Honestly, let's also say that it's not as if we're not
[17:31] understanding that this is a difficult thing to do because
[17:33] not that easy, right? We know that you have to
[17:35] actually work courage into making sure, you know, you own
[17:39] because a lot of people in Nigeria especially don't know
[17:41] how to own their decisions. We are very influenced by Yeah,
[17:44] but. From here you have.
[17:46] To learn to say that, hey, that's what I decided to do.
[17:49] I wanted to block the person. OK, so it doesn't like answering
[17:52] questions from is from people, man, tell people to mind your
[17:55] businessman. They should allow you have this
[17:57] time is they're just telling man.
[17:58] This is your personal business that you appreciate it.
[18:00] If you just mind if yes, if they mind your businessman, there's
[18:03] no way, sugar coat, it's you have to.
[18:05] Be stern. You have to be stern.
[18:06] Man, I appreciate if you don't, if you don't do the so that's
[18:08] it, man. Because if they have to do a
[18:11] group thing where everybody has to be day, if it's maybe like a
[18:15] marriage or wedding or something, you want to go cool.
[18:18] Those kind of places are big that you can do.
[18:20] And OK, after I say avoid. But if you don't have to be
[18:22] there, bro, don't. Yes, there's so many other
[18:25] things you can do. Life is really not that deep.
[18:27] Not that. Deep, obviously you have.
[18:28] Too many other problems to deal with them worrying about what
[18:31] your people in your circle are saying about one ex-girlfriend
[18:34] that you did. So trust me when you get that
[18:35] you understand that life is a lot more than than all that
[18:39] general driver. But what I should say again is
[18:42] do what you have to do. You feel like blocking, you
[18:44] block, feel like removing. You remove because the feeling
[18:47] you're having is peace. Telling you, Bros, I want to
[18:49] come in, can you let me in? So if you're not going, if
[18:53] you're looking for peace, do exactly what you feel like
[18:55] doing. At the point you do it, you will
[18:56] feel peaceful. Simple, let it go.
[19:00] And on that note of peace, actually today's topic is about
[19:08] being the perfect girlfriend. I will start off by saying.
[19:13] There is no such thing. No such thing as a.
[19:17] Perfect girlfriend. Oh, a perfect boyfriend, you get
[19:19] me? No such thing.
[19:20] No such thing I got. No such thing.
[19:22] Nobody's perfect, babe. In fact, men and women, even
[19:28] though we know everybody already knows this, are extremely
[19:31] different. I was going to be talking today
[19:34] about a lot of things, especially regarding
[19:35] relationships, which we know I've been in one for a while.
[19:38] And what I will say is that in my relationship right now,
[19:41] currently I've learnt a, a huge number of things, right?
[19:48] But before we even get into like the details of all that, what's
[19:51] your perception of like a perfect girlfriend?
[19:54] Like if you had to say, oh you know what, my girlfriend is
[19:57] perfect. What would be the qualities of
[19:59] that girlfriend that would make her perfect?
[20:02] To be honest, I know this sounds so somewhere when you see
[20:05] someone understanding honestly understand I don't mean that oh,
[20:07] I'm planning to cheat and you understand that I cheated
[20:09] whatever. I just mean like, I'm just no,
[20:12] because what you say, what you say laughing because.
[20:14] Men sometimes actually called that, yeah.
[20:17] That's most of it. When you say understanding,
[20:19] that's why everybody's mind goes to is like, I want to do
[20:22] something stupid and wait for something like no, no, no, I'm
[20:24] not talking of that. I'm talking of understanding the
[20:26] aspect of like the person knows, knows my capabilities, my
[20:33] situation, knows what we're striving to and acts in
[20:37] accordance to that. And to make all of like, for
[20:40] example, let me say, let me say, let me say this to you.
[20:43] So for example, we go out to some whatever I'm about to I'm
[20:50] about to buy something. Why are you about to spend
[20:54] $30,000 on this to this thing? Like why can't get it from this
[20:57] other place now is Susan. So like why even then let's make
[21:02] one alternative that I was going to get it to regardless of you
[21:05] get but you are that's compromise.
[21:09] That's those that's what me I classify as you get someone that
[21:12] understands that OK, this is it. But black me for that and still
[21:15] still thriving and he's still pushing and still, you know,
[21:18] like I think because sometimes man, you might no matter what,
[21:22] when when you have a girlfriend, that's who you're first.
[21:25] When you want to vent, that's who you first went to lesbian.
[21:28] No matter how guy, guy, guy, guy, guy, you have guys, guys,
[21:31] guys. That's what you face.
[21:33] That's problem. We didn't know that job with the
[21:35] door is who you first tell another stuff.
[21:38] Yeah, I can give you that stuff. Tell them you're decent.
[21:41] Even if he's advice. I didn't really say just just
[21:43] listen. So that's what I mean by
[21:46] understanding in that aspect. So that's for me.
[21:48] That's what I will classify as the perfect, even though I know
[21:52] no matter we know me, I know they ain't no something that's
[21:55] perfect. Because Yep, Yep.
[21:58] What can be good for this goose might not be good for this
[22:01] Ganda. Don't.
[22:07] Kill me, please. I was good for the goose Is good
[22:09] for the gander, bro. Not necessarily.
[22:11] You get me? What might be goosing for you is
[22:14] not gandering in my side. You get me.
[22:15] So, like, that's what I feel. That's what I mean by what I'm
[22:18] gonna say. How are you?
[22:21] Pretty much the same thing, you know, I would even say
[22:24] understanding to a much deeper level, which is, you know,
[22:29] understanding that that men first of all, are different from
[22:33] women. And so you, you move
[22:36] accordingly. And let me tell you why I think
[22:38] this is important. And I was, I would even like
[22:41] give you like some just small background story on even how my
[22:43] previous relationships were, how my current one is done with
[22:46] differences and things I've had to like learn or learn relearn.
[22:51] So in my previous relationship, I was much younger, in my mid
[22:54] 20s, right? And to be honest then we just
[22:57] like boyfriend, girlfriend stuff, you know, you guys, you
[22:59] know about the person, you know about you, you know, and that'll
[23:02] be it. And I think it's only very
[23:04] important that I learnt because, you know, of course, unlike men,
[23:07] women go through like their hormonal phases in the market.
[23:10] When we were younger, they made it seem like just that, like one
[23:14] week when she's on a period is when like she'll be different.
[23:19] And you see, when I look back on my memories, sometimes I also
[23:22] can't like tell. You know, we we men tag that
[23:27] fees of women as on what is going to decrease what kind of
[23:29] which can be released. How can somebody say that?
[23:31] Like, you know, I said this to our next.
[23:32] You said if I want to go, I can be going.
[23:34] Let me tell you right, the amount of times in my current
[23:38] relationship where I've re experienced those things and it
[23:41] occurred to me that if I actually met you doing this
[23:44] single failure, I thought you were a crazy person.
[23:46] Left is now making sense to me, right, but as much as we, I've
[23:52] also got to realize that as much as we understand that so next or
[23:55] you have to understand that, you know, if you're dating somebody,
[23:57] the woman, the woman also has to understand that men don't act
[24:00] the same way women do. Let me tell you, right.
[24:04] So my girl will call to me for just, you know, tell her
[24:06] whatever is going on in her life and everything like that.
[24:10] Now I'm a good listener. I listen.
[24:12] You can't tell me what I would listen to you, but honestly my
[24:14] responses sometimes might not be more than oh nice, that's.
[24:17] Crazy. I'm about to say, oh that girl,
[24:19] oh killer, not be everybody to get that response.
[24:23] Some get that response. Like I said, everybody, there
[24:25] are some. Things even that you see that
[24:27] there are like certain topics that you get that response from
[24:29] fair. Enough.
[24:30] You're right, you're right, you're right.
[24:31] You're. Busy, but just certain topics,
[24:32] I'll be like, I mean this, this doesn't make sense to me.
[24:35] The guy shouldn't have done that to you or the guy shouldn't have
[24:36] done that, you know, But if it's there's also the kind of like
[24:40] overall just, I just know, OK, they just stress to you, you're
[24:42] just venting. I'm just like, man, that's
[24:44] crazy. This person shouldn't have done
[24:45] that. And then she goes, is that all
[24:47] you are going to see? Now in the beginning of our
[24:49] relationship, the amount of arguments and fights and back
[24:55] and forth we used to have, I started to think to myself that
[24:58] what kind of what is doing? OK, So what?
[25:02] What more should I have said? I don't think should I?
[25:04] But you see, I got to understand, and so did she that
[25:07] they're not the same like any guy at the base of it.
[25:12] I would always do things as a guy at the base of it.
[25:16] You can see me with my guys, you know, going deep, going deeper
[25:19] into G's, but only because we can relate.
[25:23] I'm relating to all my guys saying that's why you see me
[25:24] excited. You see me like, Oh my God, what
[25:26] did you go talk, which you got this only because I'm relating
[25:29] when you're telling me what you're going through as a as a
[25:31] woman, I can hear it. I understand it, but I can't
[25:34] relate because again, in the reality of my own life, it
[25:38] doesn't work that way. Right.
[25:39] So yeah, you know, I mean, just look at the whole concept behind
[25:42] like guys and the way guys like, you know, create friendships.
[25:44] You know, you go to the gym, the guy guy like, oh, first day
[25:47] Alpha. In fact, first day is nothing.
[25:49] Second day or chief alpha. No this.
[25:51] First day, this first day, you know when you look at guys, when
[25:54] you guys meet disasters, eye contact, then a part of yours
[25:57] has to very slight head. No, nothing to see or just
[26:01] acknowledge the person. Yeah, that's first day.
[26:03] That's the one. How about?
[26:04] Brobeck are you almost done with this?
[26:05] Second day by 38 Chief, how are you?
[26:09] Doing for the homo guy, you know.
[26:10] What are you working? On the pump you have just come
[26:13] bro 95. If you come to, if you fall in,
[26:17] it's a very different way that men do things than women.
[26:20] You see, for women, there's more intentionality.
[26:22] There's more. What do you mean?
[26:24] I don't know how? Like, why would I invite us to
[26:25] my birthday? Happens, right?
[26:27] But the problem is that women think that they know how a man
[26:33] should react or how we should have done certain things,
[26:37] certain things even with raising children.
[26:39] You see all man say, I don't know why you guys being rough
[26:42] guys. And the man has to tell her,
[26:44] this is how I build the grits in the guy.
[26:46] You know, he has to do these rough things to the, you know,
[26:48] even the same way when you're tackling work, you still see the
[26:53] differences. You know, a man would.
[26:55] Just a man would, I've heard. This before?
[26:57] I don't know. Sorry.
[26:58] Sorry for interruption. No, no, that's fine.
[27:00] Sorry. I've heard this before.
[27:04] I believe there's a lot there's a is kind of like a lot of truth
[27:06] to it in my own opinion. But is it like women listen to
[27:14] respond. Our guys listen to understand to
[27:17] get to get solution you get which is trapped in out several
[27:21] times. For example, You changed me a
[27:23] video where one guy was just talking to his babe.
[27:27] Literally breaking down how men are breaking.
[27:29] Down how men and women are different.
[27:31] Breaking down this these guys spoke for about 4 minutes that
[27:35] video was long spoke this did that give example put different
[27:39] three things at the end of the video what this lady say?
[27:46] So are you seeing all men are the same?
[27:50] Bro, you know you know you. See that?
[27:52] So that's oh hell no, hell no 'cause it's like because there's
[27:57] just no there. Is absolutely bro how you know
[28:00] it's not on top? There's absolutely no way he
[28:03] said all this and and. With the you see, with the
[28:08] commerce, you do you, don't you? Sometimes you don't have to
[28:12] shout with the commerce demeanor, seeing everything
[28:15] calmly with full collection. But she got nothing from the
[28:21] fact that men and women would have prayed differently.
[28:23] Let me tell you. So in my relationship, right, I
[28:25] have had times where, and of course, don't get me wrong, it's
[28:28] not a hard rule. You have to choose like so men
[28:31] and men, men would choose what they choose to love and then
[28:36] love it wholeheartedly. But you can't force a man to
[28:38] lose something, right? But he would.
[28:41] He can't do what he doesn't like because he also sees peace in
[28:45] that. He can't do that, but he doesn't
[28:46] have to like it. And that's where that's where
[28:49] it's some music. I've had times in my
[28:50] relationship where my girlfriend told me, yeah, but this is how
[28:55] she prefers to be loved. Granted, acknowledged.
[28:58] Makes sense, right? But I'm not going to suddenly
[29:01] switch and change. Just know that if I switch and
[29:03] change, it's a performance. I'm performing for you like I'm
[29:06] not. It's not me in any form.
[29:08] I won't be. Able to keep it up, I won't be
[29:09] able to. Keep it up.
[29:10] So in a lot of cases, I'll revert to the old thing, which
[29:13] applies to her as well. You know, I would say things
[29:15] like, oh, you know, this is in fact, let me tell you because
[29:19] it's also other and women, I think understand themselves
[29:22] slowly as they go. You see a woman now you meet her
[29:24] in her mid 30s. She still can't see that the
[29:27] phase of the month is why she's being the way she is.
[29:29] She used to tell you no, but this is but like, but like
[29:31] you're like, but I know you and I know that in this moment
[29:35] you're overly emotional because of whatever is happening that
[29:38] you cannot control. What can I tell my baby this at
[29:42] first, in the beginning? And I, I mean, I'm very proud of
[29:44] her. Like she's, you know, she's
[29:45] putting so much effort to like, understand and learn, which is
[29:47] something that women don't do so easily.
[29:50] I would say, Bobby, you need to turn with the mouth, right?
[29:53] And that's why you're feeling this way.
[29:54] And that's why you've been like this before in a fight.
[29:57] In fact, I wouldn't even want to bring it up because it seems
[29:59] like I'm dropping the manipulative statements.
[30:01] Like I'm trying to just use that as I'm trying to invalidate
[30:04] that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
[30:05] no, no, no, no. Some others.
[30:06] I don't ask. I say, can't you listen to the
[30:09] way you're talking to me? Is this how you would normally
[30:11] talk to me? But all this is to say that men
[30:14] and women still have that fundamental difference.
[30:16] And I feel like in being the perfect partner, the most
[30:20] important thing would always be to 1st learn the difference
[30:23] between how men operate and how women operate.
[30:26] There's no way you would ever find a guy coming to a babe with
[30:30] like, work. I mean, it's not, it doesn't
[30:31] happen, but it's very rare that you find a guy what comes to be
[30:34] like, man, this will happen at work.
[30:35] I don't even know to do this yet, no.
[30:37] He will. Give it to you as the gist, but
[30:39] he has already found a solution like he already knows how to
[30:42] tackle a situation, which is like, hey, I've already I don't
[30:44] know this guy. I won't cut him off and we work
[30:47] together. So I have to like manages, you
[30:48] know, I don't like the guy, but we work together.
[30:50] So sometimes you see women saying that, but I don't like
[30:52] him. Why is there a there's money to
[30:55] be made here, calculated decisions.
[30:57] There's money to be made here and I'm going to put those
[30:59] feelings aside to make the money.
[31:02] Boom. Once there's no money involved,
[31:04] I don't have to involve the guy, Deuces.
[31:08] But for that money that's involved, though, as long as
[31:10] he's not bringing any physical harm, mental harm to me, I just
[31:13] have to deal with this person. Watch me deal with it.
[31:16] But women can't have that. You hear a little message that
[31:18] no, that one, if she's working, I'm not interested.
[31:21] Men. Yeah, of course there are.
[31:22] Sometimes men do that, but not always, right.
[31:24] And so that difference alone, I feel like is one step forward
[31:27] into knowing how well you want to be as a partner.
[31:30] Would you say that in some of your previous relationship
[31:33] experiences, Right. You've had times when maybe
[31:35] looking back now, they're like the reason why we couldn't
[31:39] really, you know, me and this girl couldn't really work out is
[31:41] because we couldn't even understand that it's you and her
[31:45] understand that men and women just need to do things
[31:47] differently. Yeah, definitely.
[31:49] I can probably say that, but if I'm going to speak on an
[31:51] example, it's like my should I remember saying my last one
[31:55] because sometimes maybe like why?
[31:58] Why any sets in the gathering then we're now about to argue on
[32:02] something and I'm making a point which I expect that you should
[32:06] understand, but you just have to let me know your point then me
[32:10] and myself. I guess from here.
[32:12] So my guy that is already about to see where see someone jump
[32:18] over the Cliff. I said I was going through he
[32:20] just give me this look. I'm like, like daddy, daddy,
[32:23] daddy, daddy, because sometimes, sometimes she can make a
[32:26] statement and and my face. I'm.
[32:29] About to just rebut and say I wasn't look at him.
[32:31] He just give me this. I leave it, leave it there
[32:35] because he knows that there's nothing I'm going to say now
[32:39] that's good to understand and. You know that, and that's
[32:42] because. But me, I like to sometimes I'm
[32:44] like, there's no way you have to.
[32:46] Explain. There's no way I have to.
[32:47] Have to I'm like, let me tell you that's why when like like
[32:50] when I'm outside and let's say for example, with the outside or
[32:52] something, then ladies and also talk sometimes they like no,
[32:56] like no, I'm like no, that person needs to understand that
[33:04] that is bullshit. Don't tell me that not woman No,
[33:08] let's tell her what is wrong. Judas not like I have this.
[33:11] So I always feel that I need to buy him.
[33:12] Just give that work. I just did it.
[33:14] I'm lucky to be very, very honest.
[33:16] We serve because they did some things too because, like you
[33:19] said, we're both different. We don't if not you just be
[33:22] doing this one wicked circle, you know, because like you just
[33:26] see that video now, like I said, I think the first thing just was
[33:28] I say when I'm not different. What did that?
[33:31] He led him again to start explaining again.
[33:34] Let me tell you in that video. In the comments, you will see
[33:37] someone say he had to explain four times.
[33:40] He had to tell her four times. No, what I'm saying is that men
[33:44] and women are different. I'm not saying that women are
[33:47] less. I'm not saying that men are
[33:48] more. I'm not saying that men are
[33:49] less. I'm not saying that men are the
[33:51] same. I'm not saying that we're all
[33:53] I'm just telling you men and. Women are different is the.
[33:57] Fundamental. And The thing is, everything
[34:00] cascades from that. If you think about the concept
[34:02] of men and women being different, even down to how we
[34:05] react to pictures, you would see girls in comments saying go
[34:09] girl, you're beautiful, you did it, I will.
[34:11] Not see that picture? No, fine, you know they were.
[34:13] Like. I cool man, sorry.
[34:17] Cool girl, you ate what? She ate the picture.
[34:22] Because I can't see anything else.
[34:26] And of course this is me. So leave me without being
[34:30] politically correct. This is me.
[34:34] No. And of course, this is not to
[34:36] shame anyone, but this is me directing the fact that we men
[34:39] know exactly what is going on in our heads.
[34:42] And that's why. And of course, it's not to say
[34:44] that men do a lot of flawed things.
[34:46] That's not what the point is, right.
[34:47] But it's that identifying that as a difference already starts
[34:50] the conversation. But where they believe that it
[34:53] should be done the way women would do it is where the problem
[34:55] always lies. And if I'm not someone, because,
[34:59] first of all, men are not generally, like, emotionally
[35:02] expressive. We're not, right.
[35:03] We actually general. Yeah.
[35:05] We actually have to like work to learn.
[35:08] To because the way we are built coming up, we already, we've
[35:11] said this in so many different broadcasts.
[35:13] Man up, man up, man up, man up, man up, man up.
[35:16] They've been saying man up since you've been a kid.
[35:18] Hey, come on, man up, chin up. Hey, man up, you know.
[35:20] This thing we're talking about, man, Straighten.
[35:21] Up straighten up, man. One thing that I.
[35:23] See, currently I I have I deal with in my relationship, right?
[35:26] And it's something I'm still working on as we move.
[35:29] My government is a cry right, which is like most girls, she
[35:31] cries, you know, right when she's dealing with something.
[35:33] She'll cry when she you know. And for me, I don't shed 1.
[35:39] Milliliter of it here. Mega's Got Talent.
[35:41] If not, if not that man, I know the crime I know.
[35:51] It's an inside joke and when you guys get to, you get.
[35:55] To this guy and that award show when this girl, I won't lie, I
[35:59] won't. Lie that yeah, that did hit me,
[36:01] but I was like, it did hit me. It did hit me, but you see that
[36:06] it's almost generally accepted where everybody can.
[36:10] See why? You can see why everybody's even
[36:14] like, even when you don't cry, they're like, you didn't cry
[36:17] because it's expected, but something happens and the woman
[36:21] cries. Now, the way men handle and the
[36:24] way I've handled the video code, like I said, I'm working towards
[36:26] it. Before, I used to just think
[36:28] this is the way I do it. I have to do it.
[36:30] But I got to understand, you know, dating my girlfriend, I
[36:32] have to learn to be more compassionate about that side of
[36:35] her. Because if I can't understand
[36:37] why you're crying, it makes it so hard for me to.
[36:40] No one tell you they're there, they're there.
[36:44] Sorry, sorry. And at some point, even me, it's
[36:46] very good effects because I'm like, can't I see more like I
[36:49] feel like I'm not. This story is not doing
[36:50] anything. But at the same time, that's my
[36:52] bandwidth because the concept of tears and how to recover from it
[36:57] even when men cry is OK, Small, small tears.
[36:59] You wipe, you wipe it, you move. We don't, we don't sob for long.
[37:02] If you're sobbing is because there's something so traumatic
[37:04] that has happened that everybody's expecting it
[37:06] already. And so you, even you, you hold
[37:09] it in until you can't hold anymore.
[37:10] You break it out. But it's, there's no, we don't
[37:13] have instances where I'm stressed, I cry, something
[37:16] didn't come through, I'll cry, then I'll be OK.
[37:18] We don't have that. I mean, there's some guys that
[37:20] me, but generally as men, we don't have that.
[37:22] So the concept of how the crime dynamics works was something
[37:27] that was very foreign to me, right?
[37:28] And we had so many clashes because me being an extremely
[37:32] logical person too. I just thought I said, I, I
[37:35] understand you and I see that, you know, I respect that you are
[37:38] sad what you're going through. And I I'll say sorry, but I
[37:42] don't, I don't, I don't know what else to come out of me
[37:45] because to be honest, this thing you're crying about, I feel like
[37:50] you don't really need to cry about it.
[37:52] And it's just like, OK, So what I said actually both members, I
[37:54] said, hey, no, no, express yourself.
[37:56] My point is that you have to also remember that I may not be
[38:00] crying with you. I may not be, you know, in that
[38:04] emotional state with you as well.
[38:05] I can come to you and I'll say sorry, but I'm also learning.
[38:07] Yeah. I'm also learning to, you know,
[38:10] Oh, and also the context of I didn't grow up around girls.
[38:13] I grew up in an all boys family. So where where did I want to see
[38:17] the the expression of you did cry if I become a laughing?
[38:23] People laugh at you bro. Really.
[38:24] Killed. Really.
[38:26] Killed. Yeah, you cried last week, now
[38:28] you will never hear the last of it, right?
[38:30] And also, in fairness, on my girlfriend's side, she didn't
[38:34] grow up with as many guys, grew up around, mostly girls.
[38:38] So to her too, she hasn't really seen how a guy does things.
[38:43] Just fair enough, fair enough. So you guys are on the same?
[38:46] And those of us came to meet in the.
[38:49] All. Exactly.
[38:52] So, yeah. You know, and there's a lot of
[38:55] other things so that, you know, play a role in, you know, the
[38:59] fact that we have our differences.
[39:00] But it took us a really long time to get to the point and
[39:03] understand that most of what we're dealing with is just the
[39:07] lack of the understanding of the other person.
[39:08] Like we just didn't realize that it's just literally the basic
[39:12] difference in I'm a guy, you're a girl.
[39:14] Literally if for her she decides, OK, this place, I want
[39:18] to clean it now. But for me, as a guy, being a
[39:21] guy, I look at it and say on Sunday, on Sunday.
[39:26] I've been in my room for three days.
[39:29] I'm like, you know what, I'll get to it, don't worry.
[39:31] Now she knows that I'm a clean person and I'm clean you get.
[39:35] But it's just some days I'm like, see I'm dealing with some
[39:37] of this in my. I'll.
[39:38] Deal with this all. Would it be about decision
[39:40] making? Let me tell you, we might have a
[39:42] decision to make. Maybe we'll have something
[39:43] that's coming up in September, October.
[39:46] She wants to know how we're going to do it now.
[39:48] Like, OK, so if we come to this now, do we now go from here to
[39:51] here? OK, By what time do we get
[39:52] there? I can know, but I say to plot
[39:55] and plan because we don't know what we can foresee just before
[39:58] that time. So that's what happens when you
[40:00] plan to ahead you get. Let me even tell.
[40:02] You, I said, as long as it's not an immediate like if I don't
[40:07] solve it today, tomorrow will be chaos.
[40:09] Please, let's leave it to tomorrow.
[40:11] Leave because there's the one of today I'm not finished solving.
[40:14] And we ask I I, we like to rational problems because first
[40:17] of all, we're dealing with too many.
[40:18] We're dealing with too many. So the one I can do today and
[40:22] don't forget that as we're dealing with too many, it's not
[40:24] like we even have people we can go and cry too.
[40:25] So we're just really bothering our Betty.
[40:27] Our solution is our in fact, finding the solution is the
[40:30] solution to our stress. Like the only way I can come out
[40:33] of this stress is to find out like, let me solve this problem.
[40:35] That was, that was how I come out of stress Now if I'm dealing
[40:39] with something immediately and she comes with something that we
[40:44] still have like 6 months, I think it's about I, I, I'm like,
[40:47] look, I understand why because of course you still need to plan
[40:50] everything. Some things need, some things
[40:52] you need to do now are going to affect them.
[40:54] I get that. But I said, which aspect of this
[40:57] needs to be planned today? And you say, I just want to
[41:00] know. I said you're wanting to know is
[41:02] adding more to the stress because me that I don't want to
[41:05] know. I know what I'm doing.
[41:06] I put this problem to one side because I've told myself I'll.
[41:09] Fix that later today. Let.
[41:11] Me focus on the world or today let me focus on anything today
[41:15] let me free my mind. I just want to be problem less
[41:19] and free because it doesn't come so often.
[41:22] And it doesn't. Yeah, but you know, this is what
[41:24] I mean. You know, if I have to leave
[41:26] things to you, it will never get done.
[41:30] And again, respect to the fact that that's how she feels
[41:34] because that's how she's always operated.
[41:35] She's always like planned ahead women.
[41:36] I mean, even when you look back at, you know, travel
[41:40] documentation on children going, you will always see mothers are
[41:43] the most. Exactly.
[41:44] It's something that comes with the nature of women.
[41:47] Doesn't mean that men don't partake or participate, but we
[41:50] have a very different mood and path around it.
[41:53] That's why when you see a guy who's going up around girls
[41:55] more, they tend to lean towards that they have better planners.
[41:59] They have better this guys who grow up around guys more and
[42:02] more into solve the problem today deal with that tomorrow.
[42:05] So you know, So what I said, you know you see, at first we'll
[42:08] fight, we'll fight and I was like, what do you mean that I
[42:10] don't do anything? What do you mean that if you get
[42:11] everyone gets on meets all the you know, like you said, I
[42:13] always have to explain myself. I always have to like I must
[42:15] find the logical reason why you believe that is it because for
[42:19] me, I deliver, I'm doing things and So what do you mean that you
[42:23] know, left to me is not going to be and yes.
[42:25] The entire who? Because you know.
[42:27] Whereas that statement, even the statement even we have just come
[42:30] out of she might not remember tomorrow said I've said it where
[42:33] I see me that you've told us a guy till next week, two weeks.
[42:36] I'm still thinking, wow. So you mean that?
[42:39] So you mean that? So you mean that I don't do
[42:42] anything. It's OK, OK, OK.
[42:47] And I'm there. I'm having something that is not
[42:49] meant to be harbored from someone who doesn't even
[42:52] remember that she said that. What does that leave me?
[42:55] I would want dealing with my own product.
[42:57] So what I said to understand that I have to find a middle
[43:00] ground here because as much as I keep talking, it's it's, it's,
[43:03] it's reaching an audience that is not receiving.
[43:05] And it's not because it's intentional.
[43:07] It's just by nature. That's how women can be.
[43:11] I just said, OK, this is what I'm dealing with.
[43:14] So every time say something might be back here that I
[43:17] respect, I will work on it even though I may not plan to work on
[43:20] anything because I also know that the system we've used
[43:23] works. The only difference is that and
[43:25] then like to add like OK, you want to do different.
[43:28] Let's talk about that. Why when you?
[43:29] Accept that you work for it. At least you've given yourself
[43:32] breaks, so. Sometimes I see compromise away
[43:35] when I said all of sudden she won't start mean I'm like you
[43:37] don't enter this time with the month.
[43:38] Let me just what's my formula again?
[43:40] Most times actually love you, babe.
[43:43] Ignore a lot of things. I know a lot.
[43:49] She will tell me one million things that need to be done.
[43:52] I'll just be saying yes if I get that.
[43:54] You're right, you're right. Yes, I'm sorry, babe.
[43:59] I love you babe, I help you. Say sorry to you.
[44:02] We just we're just talking we're telling our audience Mama.
[44:05] So I. Just said to myself that hey, I
[44:08] had to actually come up with something.
[44:09] I found that logic was not quite working.
[44:11] I can't explain my way through things because the explanation
[44:14] gets to the point where it started.
[44:16] To piss the person off should start saying that.
[44:18] It sounds like I'm just saying so you mean.
[44:20] I'm stupid, so try and tell me I'm stupid.
[44:24] Even down to the thing of, you know, when women say you said
[44:26] this and she's like, and I'm like, but I never said that and
[44:31] it's OK, so are you telling me I'm remembering wrong?
[44:34] Know what I'm? Sorry, know what?
[44:38] I'm sorry then. OK, see if I'm listening or just
[44:41] saying that, for example. Yeah, about this difference or
[44:47] whatever I saw. So I literally saw it today.
[44:49] I was going on TikTok somewhere, I can't remember the name of the
[44:51] podcast, just some Yankee whatever.
[44:53] Where they have like these are live shows and people come up
[44:55] and whatever. So one girl came up and was
[44:57] like, you know, they see how if he wanted to, he would wait,
[45:04] wait, wait, maybe you saw this one too.
[45:06] Yeah, maybe. I did so if.
[45:07] They say he wanted to, he would. What if he hasn't for 10 years?
[45:13] Everyone that I watched said Houseman is partner here is not
[45:17] as romantic as she wants, like as romantic as she like, OK,
[45:23] they can't they ask. I'm just simple questions.
[45:25] Say OK, so like, where do you stay?
[45:29] Like how would like, what do you pay rent?
[45:30] Everything. Oh no, he, he, he, he does all
[45:32] that. OK, so.
[45:36] Her blinged up. I guess a bust down man girl.
[45:39] Who who who got you that? He say he got you that.
[45:43] Then the guy was like, wait, who pay your rent?
[45:45] She said like isn't that romantic Now?
[45:48] Do you get, I mean, they're not romance.
[45:49] Do you get? So then a bit they're not
[45:51] cleared down. I was like, yo, man, you need to
[45:53] understand the like this way I go to the fact I say we're both
[45:57] different, like men and women are different.
[45:59] Like, yo, your vision of romantic, whatever might just be
[46:03] what you've been seen online or whatever.
[46:06] And this man, yeah, I watch. And this man's own vision of
[46:10] romantic can be totally different.
[46:12] He's him being romantic right now is that he knows that you
[46:14] ain't got to pay your rent. He got you on some boss down.
[46:17] He takes you. I want to dress up.
[46:19] So you now your own being romantic is the fact that you
[46:21] chose your restaurant. So that's why you feel like like
[46:24] you. I don't ever see intention like
[46:26] you. You feel like oh, because.
[46:28] He doesn't really make all those planning.
[46:29] She's not like you like these guys.
[46:34] Everywhere you are is, is, is, is rent sorted, bills paid.
[46:38] You don't move out the oil of your car, but your car is
[46:40] moving. You drove to this place like
[46:41] this right now. You still got this ring.
[46:43] So one guy and I'm like, oh, who gave you this Sparrow?
[46:46] He gave. She's like, yeah.
[46:47] She's like, yeah. He gave it to all the house.
[46:49] He said, got that one give to you.
[46:50] He said, yeah, you know, like, so I don't get where would you
[46:54] want him to give you? She said at the beach, everybody
[46:58] like, yo, man, you need to actually understand.
[47:01] But not everybody thinks like that.
[47:02] You get. But I'm just saying in that
[47:03] aspect of see now how mentality is like he's not romantic
[47:06] enough, but he says it takes you out to dinner, takes you out to
[47:09] lunch. Just say it's not as much as she
[47:11] wants to do. I'm like, OK, well, he doesn't
[47:12] really plan it. You get to pick the restaurant
[47:14] stuff of the time. You know that another way we do
[47:17] these things is I'm not going to pick a restaurant that you read
[47:20] and tell me you don't like. So where the hell you want to
[47:24] go? You're like, Oh my God, he's not
[47:26] romantic. He's not intentional.
[47:27] Hello. Do you want where do you want to
[47:30] go? Where?
[47:31] Where are we going far now there's some simple what's it
[47:34] called examples. Of course a man in a
[47:37] relationship learns that and fixes it.
[47:40] But if you approach me, if you meet me as the man that I am
[47:43] before we start dating and we just started dating, you know,
[47:45] and we're and it's very popular. We're doing things like I call
[47:48] you from out, I'm out. I call you, hey, what's up?
[47:50] I'm going to this restaurant. I want to grab something.
[47:51] If you want something from here and you're like, Oh no, baby,
[47:54] it's fine. I already eat.
[47:57] Men are logical to start with. He's already thinking, OK, I
[48:01] don't have to spend that extra money 'cause he's already
[48:03] thinking. She says she's already eaten.
[48:06] She eats already and I buy this food and she doesn't eat, 'cause
[48:09] I already eat. It's a waste of money.
[48:11] I'm already thinking I don't want to waste money.
[48:14] So I even in fact, if you're being, let's consider you order
[48:16] like maybe an extra portion of what you know you can finish,
[48:18] but you know she can have some of it, but she's already told
[48:21] you, if I you Michael, like second time, babe, Are you sure
[48:24] you have that your favorite this thing you want to be like, no,
[48:25] no, no, it's fine. I'm not really in the mood for
[48:27] it. Then you get back home and we'll
[48:30] be back and and then she goes, you didn't buy food for me.
[48:35] So you know me. You know what in the audience
[48:37] I'd actually like for you guys to answer this.
[48:40] How do you approach that? At what point does that become a
[48:44] sensible situation? And not just what?
[48:47] Because again, I think you just you just you just to flip it for
[48:50] the ladies too. Yes, flip the scenario like if
[48:52] it was you and you, you went out, the guy called, remember,
[48:56] say yeah. But you see, the difference is
[48:57] that with us, we would already not know.
[48:59] Yeah. Because yeah, you're right.
[49:01] Because to an extent them they will still rather buy.
[49:03] Because they don't. Exactly.
[49:05] That's why we're different, man. That's how.
[49:08] They do things women understand that I know I must already buy.
[49:12] No, men are already thinking to themselves that's why.
[49:14] We called you 2 times. How far you want through this
[49:16] part? No, I call.
[49:18] The second one was I need to be sure so that you mean that you
[49:21] didn't hear the first time call you a second time.
[49:23] You still say no, No. And your reason is even though
[49:25] you're saying you're saying that.
[49:26] No, no, no. I've already eaten.
[49:27] I'm full. I even tell you what they have
[49:29] that your favorite thing here. You sure you don't want it?
[49:31] Like yeah, No, I'm not really in the mood.
[49:32] Then I buy for myself. No, I'm like, so you didn't buy
[49:35] for me? I don't, but I'm not like no,
[49:37] it's fine. You can have mine said no, No,
[49:39] if you didn't buy for me, then there's no point.
[49:43] So you. Say that again is exactly what
[49:45] I'm doing, man. You say man, because we can't
[49:51] be. Two of us can't be angry and
[49:53] hungry at the same time. One person needs to play anger
[49:55] so we get a job. So, yeah, you know, and the
[49:59] whole concept behind that, which is, you know, you call them
[50:02] twice, you still find out if they want something and they say
[50:04] no. Like I told you earlier on, I
[50:06] just. I started ignoring certain
[50:07] things, you know, again, love you, babe.
[50:10] Started ignoring certain things because.
[50:14] Because there's just no need. Oh, yeah.
[50:18] Hey, do you want something rare? No, I'm OK.
[50:20] OK, I'm lying nonetheless, I'd rather get home and.
[50:25] Oh yeah. There's, I just bought my piece
[50:34] because see, I look at how much it's worth.
[50:36] I look at how much the stress might be worth if I don't buy
[50:38] it. I'm like, you know what?
[50:39] This money, I'll spend it because I'm, I'm what I'm
[50:41] purchasing in the end will be worth this money I'm about to
[50:44] spend because I already know what I'm going to have to deal
[50:46] with. There was something she had.
[50:48] So she had. She has this thing where if I'm
[50:50] good, I must come up with at least something.
[50:51] I must say, wait, come up with at least something.
[50:55] I'm not used to that like, but it's, it's her personal thing,
[50:57] you know, So I have to understand that, yeah, that's
[50:59] the way she'd like to be loved. And I appreciate that.
[51:00] So I'll start thinking now. OK, wait.
[51:04] Come up with something every day.
[51:04] She doesn't even mean it could be the most inexpensive to eat.
[51:06] Anything. Just come back with something.
[51:10] But at some point too, you get the stress off because you know
[51:13] something. You as a man, as a man, you just
[51:16] want to bring out just something, just anything you.
[51:18] Try to choose what she likes. You try.
[51:20] To choose something. I would see her face light up,
[51:22] but I want to be even, you know? But the same time was it sweet
[51:24] you now I was. Not thinking that acting what it
[51:26] cost one or two if I. Like.
[51:31] Dispatcher said 5K for delivery. I said what it's like, yeah, to
[51:36] take you about, you know, 3-4 hours before it's ready, huh?
[51:38] I need something. I'm on my way home, bro.
[51:40] Give me something. So I have to study like I have
[51:43] to start like, you know, figuring out several things she
[51:45] likes. Some days I would even bring
[51:47] that in. And she's like, oh, she's not
[51:49] really in the mood for that. But I was like, you know what?
[51:52] Tomorrow you like it. Today you're OK.
[51:54] And it's it's me also understanding the fundamentals
[51:57] of men and women being different.
[51:59] And I think I didn't understand that when I got the relationship
[52:02] because because I was logical. I just talked it to the
[52:04] understand everywhere we understand gonna be No.
[52:07] I mean, man. Yeah, woman just do things more
[52:09] zero. I have to learn so many things.
[52:12] I'm still learning so many things.
[52:14] You know, even things around you're planning a trip.
[52:20] OK, so have you because I'm like I have to.
[52:22] I know I too don't want to lose the window to book tickets.
[52:25] It's still within my but I'm not just going to wake up.
[52:29] I'm not using this. It's going to require money.
[52:31] So I'm planning is another. Money to the same way by the
[52:34] time I pay this ticket now I guarantee wants the ticket as
[52:37] you pay for you make one request you understand because it's not
[52:41] going to be that large going to be random, but I know waiting
[52:43] this ticket just do me but you're going to make that
[52:45] request so this is. Crazy.
[52:47] And that that also happened and I just said, well, you know, we
[52:50] just paid for that is why I have to wait a few seconds before I
[52:53] pay for this. And then she said, OK, so why,
[52:56] you see, you're saying like it's not my fault.
[52:58] Let me. Tell you like I said most times
[53:02] apologize again, apologize again I love you babe I.
[53:04] Love you. Most times it's it's the lack of
[53:08] the understanding. Like at first I just thought,
[53:10] how can somebody be sorry? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[53:12] I have to just come like, it's actually the lack of
[53:15] understanding. And I have also assumed that I
[53:16] have to be the one that's understanding.
[53:18] That's the difficult part. Because let me just tell you,
[53:21] whatever happened last month, their brain has reset every
[53:25] month. It's like it's just a whole
[53:26] reset. Yes, they grow this.
[53:28] They slowly learn. Because if you're pointing
[53:30] things out, they too, they're seeing the signs.
[53:32] And you know, sometimes you should be like, Oh yeah, you
[53:34] know what? Now that I see it, I feel how
[53:35] irritable I am every small. I'm like, exactly.
[53:37] It's not. Funny how it happens.
[53:38] I'm like, oh, exactly your business story.
[53:40] Your business What? Next month she's going to forget
[53:43] that that sign is happening again.
[53:44] And then when I bring it up, she's like, you do this every
[53:46] time. You're blaming it on my cycle.
[53:48] I hate. That every time thing but you
[53:49] see. The truth is that I have to
[53:51] accept that some confusion absolutely.
[53:53] Because like, there's every time, let me tell you.
[53:57] You know, maybe I'll be like, maybe I'll just because.
[54:01] That's a true. Window I just have to bear
[54:04] through it and be like, you know what she can't even she's not in
[54:06] control of this. It's not even her fault.
[54:07] She can't even she can't stop if she wanted to.
[54:10] Her body is literally telling her do this take that.
[54:12] Make sure you I mean, if you've checked the different cycles,
[54:15] there's a term of the month where they have full energy.
[54:17] That's why they want to do everything.
[54:19] That job you applied for it, you want to clean your house, you
[54:21] want to. That's when you realize all the
[54:23] shopping. But you see there's also times
[54:27] of the month where they are extremely low on energy.
[54:29] They don't feel beautiful. You don't feel loved, you don't
[54:32] feel it. So in those moments I'm supposed
[54:35] to come up with be more lovable. But let me just tell you, it
[54:38] will also now happen in a time when me, I'm battling the
[54:40] stresses of my life. So I'm just like, I love you,
[54:43] babe. And it's like, OK, but that's
[54:45] all a contractor. They doyo baro they enogate
[54:48] business called client, no good pay balance and they want you to
[54:51] finish before deadline. I'm here.
[54:53] Now I'm saying, oh, I'm three weeks into payments are supposed
[54:56] to have been made, you know, many things that are supposed to
[54:58] spin off this payment. And as I was like, OK, well, but
[55:01] I get that. But you know, when you told me
[55:03] you love me, you only stop there.
[55:05] Like can't you tell me why you love me?
[55:10] So a lot of times I have to just like, just breathe because I got
[55:14] to understand again, the men and women are different.
[55:18] When you said this understanding thing, I just started laughing,
[55:20] you know, because I remember it's with us.
[55:21] So how someone's like no good understanding girlfriend or
[55:25] nothing. They were different
[55:26] understanding girlfriend. So it's not like you how are you
[55:30] broke? Your boyfriend is broke but you
[55:34] are understanding that the person is broke.
[55:36] But you don't understand that you are not broke like you are
[55:39] broke like how is the. I see because we're logical, I
[55:43] say. Help.
[55:44] Me understand as I ended help me understand.
[55:48] Help me, please help me. No, because, because, because as
[55:54] you just said, let's look at the scenario objectively.
[55:57] Because that's what men do. We look at things objectively.
[56:00] You don't have money. I also don't have money but I'm
[56:04] the broke 1 you. Are the understanding one.
[56:07] Why, How and? You can even understand that you
[56:10] don't have money. Somebody will be broke.
[56:14] I'm calling. You broke.
[56:15] I've never seen it before. I've.
[56:16] Never seen it before. Like you can't afford the trip
[56:20] for your next outing. Not the outing itself or the
[56:23] trip for it. You can't afford to transport
[56:25] yourself to the outing. But I'm broke then.
[56:29] The person who also says, wow, you can't afford to transport,
[56:32] like, yeah, you can't even pay for me just so you're broke if
[56:34] you're that's what it is, sister.
[56:36] We are broke together in this now.
[56:39] Two of us broke. In fact, me, I get the
[56:40] transport. I don't just get the outing on
[56:42] you, but me, I get the transport.
[56:44] You don't get transport. You don't have the transport.
[56:48] You don't have the outing money. What are we talking about?
[56:51] But it's also with understanding that men and women are just very
[56:54] different. And I think a lot of guys can
[56:56] never really let me tell you when I was single.
[56:59] I look. Back on a lot of people like Saw
[57:01] and I just, I started understanding so many things.
[57:03] I'm like, no wonder I thought these people was crazy.
[57:06] I probably met her in the time of the month where she was crazy
[57:09] and that's why I would see that sometimes to admit her and she's
[57:12] acting nice as minutes and I'm like, but you don't was nice to
[57:14] me last week. Where's all this coming from?
[57:16] It's because I also didn't understand that there's some
[57:19] fundamental differences. The way that they will tackle
[57:21] things are very different from how we will tackle things.
[57:23] Even the ones who say they understand men and they
[57:25] understand men are logical, they can't control when they suddenly
[57:29] don't understand because it's a whole different thing.
[57:31] Yeah, they are like emotional. Damage.
[57:34] Exactly because you're there, like just just.
[57:36] OK, so, but can't you just at least try and act like you're
[57:41] like you're interested in it? I'm here watching the movie with
[57:46] you. It's not my movie.
[57:47] I don't like it. I'm just now.
[57:50] You maybe the you as in I've I've, I've, I've compromised and
[57:54] I've said no. You want to watch this movie,
[57:56] put it, you know the movies. You don't like it.
[57:58] You're not telling me. I have to like it too.
[58:01] What do you mean? Like I'm OK with not liking it.
[58:03] So don't get me wrong. Like the fact that I don't like
[58:05] it is not a problem for me. I've accepted that I won't like
[58:08] it, but I would rather be here because you'd like me to be here
[58:11] and I would like to show love to you.
[58:13] I'm. Literally, this is for you.
[58:16] It's for you, not for me, and there's nothing wrong with that.
[58:19] And it's like, OK, so if you don't like it for a solid agent,
[58:21] I just say that I should have. I should have.
[58:23] You know what? Said that I see see if you look
[58:25] at that, if you say if you say you just ask about that.
[58:29] But you know what? See, women are Beautiful
[58:31] Creatures, men are Beautiful Creatures and I think we all
[58:33] love them. Understand that, you know, we
[58:36] all operate differently. We all operate in very
[58:38] different, you know, spectrum and there's no.
[58:40] Wavelength train of thought tautology.
[58:43] We do. Have middle grounds.
[58:43] We have a lot of middle grounds, you know?
[58:45] Oh no. No, see, no matter how different
[58:46] we are, we still have so much common, so much in common which.
[58:50] Is so much in common? Yeah, true.
[58:51] It's just that, you know, when it comes to the relationship
[58:53] aspects, men relating to women on an emotional level, we
[58:56] operate very differently, Right. They are still, of course, still
[58:59] doesn't apply to all men, you know, No.
[59:01] Yeah, yeah. No, no, nothing appears to
[59:02] everybody in. Fact between myself and I would
[59:04] do things very differently, yeah, but we're still at the
[59:07] core of things, be men in the way we do.
[59:09] You know, logical reasoning, sometimes similarities.
[59:12] And how we've discussed and how we would just have just said,
[59:14] hey, I don't want this. I don't want this, not I don't
[59:16] want this. But you should have known that I
[59:17] really wanted it. You should have forced me to
[59:19] want it. See, I'm already party.
[59:24] I never even finished. So yeah.
[59:26] And that's, and that's where I am with that.
[59:28] And I'm just thinking to myself that, you know, I feel like, of
[59:32] course, every man, even those who haven't been in
[59:34] relationships, need to experience a relationship
[59:36] intentionally to understand fully that women are different
[59:40] creatures. And so we have to, like, tackle
[59:42] it from that angle. And I think ultimately before
[59:45] anything women need to understand also that men are
[59:48] like you say on one hand, be a man while you do everything in
[59:55] your power to stop you from being a man as a man.
[59:58] Am I not supposed to reply with like 1 answer like OK, you tell
[1:00:00] me something like oh that's crazy because you do what you're
[1:00:04] asking for in masculinity or what you say feminine man is a
[1:00:07] feminine man was like Oh my God girl tell me more with that.
[1:00:10] Would you rather that I can be your girlfriend to go?
[1:00:12] Trust me, I can play the girlfriend role like and all
[1:00:14] this man is. That's not even going to that
[1:00:16] one. I won't be so my point is that
[1:00:18] different topic. And.
[1:00:19] I'm even getting into saying that women just need to know
[1:00:22] that there's a level of their understanding that needs to
[1:00:24] extend to men. It can't just be the of course,
[1:00:27] the man is doing the most understanding, but if you want
[1:00:29] to keep breaking off in power and in arguments, you have to
[1:00:33] understand that a like different people, because the more you
[1:00:36] understand that, the less you start seeing him as he's not
[1:00:39] even putting in energy. He's not even this No, you just
[1:00:41] remember, Hey, he's a guy. He's doing things the way guys,
[1:00:44] this guy. So this how to help men do
[1:00:45] things. Doesn't that solve half the
[1:00:49] problem we're dealing with? Because it's not as if you don't
[1:00:52] know I love, you know, and you will, you will talk about how,
[1:00:55] oh, the way you should love the way.
[1:00:56] But then why don't you then extend that to the rest of how
[1:00:58] we do things? So but yeah, nonetheless, you
[1:01:01] know, it's still a great thing to have to consider.
[1:01:03] You know, we men have a lot we still need to work on and we
[1:01:07] need to just, you know, from there, see how we cascade into
[1:01:11] making relationship with the opposite sex a lot more
[1:01:14] seamless. So we stop having all these
[1:01:16] gender wars in here and there. We just need to let's all come
[1:01:19] to understanding, guys, it's all love.
[1:01:20] Understand your woman, women understand your man.
[1:01:23] And let's all have a happy place.
[1:01:26] Yep. So yeah, guys, I mean, let us
[1:01:28] know what you guys think about this.
[1:01:29] Let us know what you guys. Yeah, I'll just say that.
[1:01:33] I'll just say that. So in that, on that bombshell or
[1:01:36] on that note, we it's safe to say that there's no such thing
[1:01:41] as a perfect. Girlfriend.
[1:01:42] Yeah, there's no such thing. As a perfect guy, but from my
[1:01:46] experience, like we said, what we feel is close to being
[1:01:49] perfect is. Actually, sorry, correctly, my
[1:01:51] girlfriend is perfect. I don't know about other people,
[1:01:53] but yeah, I'm dating the perfect person.
[1:01:56] Go on. Saxophone was getting louder and
[1:01:57] yeah, but yeah. But yeah.
[1:02:02] So as long as the person does. We just.
[1:02:05] Need to understand that we just need to know that we are
[1:02:08] different. Yeah.
[1:02:11] Understand it, accept it, and just learn about it basically.
[1:02:15] That's just that's just the truth.
[1:02:16] Everybody is individually different.
[1:02:18] So whichever partner you have learned about, that person goes
[1:02:23] goes both for guys and for girls.
[1:02:25] Yep, you get ain't nobody perfect man for sure.
[1:02:27] For sure. Are you?
[1:02:29] Perfect. To me, nobody is perfect, eh?
[1:02:32] Like I. Said earlier.
[1:02:32] We're not going to be gone for long.
[1:02:34] Not. At all?
[1:02:35] Not at all, But. Again, while we're away, please
[1:02:39] recap on all our episodes. We have some amazing, amazing
[1:02:41] stuff. We started since the beginning
[1:02:42] of the year and I think. Recap because when we come back
[1:02:46] there's going to be 1 wicket S and maybe 1 wicket S.
[1:02:49] The game coming through, I don't want to put some more so that,
[1:02:51] but just saying we're coming back with some real we're.
[1:02:54] Cooking. We're cooking.
[1:02:56] I'm asking a trivia question about 1 episode and lucky answer
[1:03:01] Lucky you know what I'm saying? Actually, you know what?
[1:03:04] Yes, now we. Got to do that now everybody
[1:03:06] comes. Oh my God, Yeah, we watch the
[1:03:07] episode. Oh, you watch that Bam question.
[1:03:09] Yeah. Yeah, be on the lookout, be on
[1:03:12] the lookout. But while we're away, guys,
[1:03:14] don't forget to subscribe. Don't forget to like, don't
[1:03:17] forget to comment, share, share with your family, friends,
[1:03:20] friends, enemies, your enemies, brothers with everyone, sisters
[1:03:24] with everyone. Grandmas, grandmas also keep
[1:03:26] sending your dilemmas. Remember guys, we love you guys
[1:03:29] always. And until next time, my name is
[1:03:33] more welcome choir and. I miss your MA, OK.
[1:03:36] This.

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