# The Comparison Trap: Why We Compare, When to Say Yes, and the 48-Hour Rule

An episode of [How Not to Screw Up Your Kids](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1571503566), 8 Jan 2026, 40 min.

Audio: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/66756955a4ecc30012453c07/e/695eed15313b808065ea94fc/media.mp3

It’s said that comparison is the thief of joy, and there’s truth to this. Whether it’s your kids thinking their life is so unfair because their friends have phones, or go to parties and they’re not allowed, to you as a parent constantly judging yourself against the other mums and dads at the school gate. In this episode, I show you how to avoid the dreaded comparison trap. I explain the five step response framework, share some helpful tips to stop you comparing yourself against other parents, and talk through some examples to help you put all of this into practice. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:57 - What are we doing wrong? 04:37 - The five step response framework 08:17 - When to say yes 14:41 - Coping when the answer is no 17:41 - Age appropriate conversations 21:17 - School gate gossip 24:50 - Give yourself 48 hours 27:31 - Talk it through with your tribe 29:26 - Neurodiversity and social media 32:23 - Examples 36:06 - Separation comparison from genuine concern 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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