# Bucket Emptying: Why Toddlers Have Tantrums (And What Actually Helps)

An episode of [How Not to Screw Up Your Kids](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1571503566), 13 Sep 2026, 21 min.

Audio: https://sphinx.acast.com/p/open/s/66756955a4ecc30012453c07/e/6aa716b51563582c05af7bd2/media.mp3

Spoiler alert: a tantrum isn’t bad behaviour. It’s a developmental event that happens when your kid’s nervous system is really overwhelmed. When your children have tantrums, it is never a reflection of you or your parenting. It’s a completely normal and age appropriate thing. So in this episode, I’m diving into the world of toddler tantrums - what causes them, what happens in your child’s brain at that moment, and the five things that genuinely help. You’ll learn why reasoning never works during a meltdown, how your calm becomes their co‑regulation, why naming the feeling (not the behaviour) changes everything, and how staying close and reconnecting afterwards builds emotional regulation, resilience, confidence and long‑term self‑belief. If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated or unsure how to respond when your toddler explodes, this episode gives you a clear, compassionate roadmap that works. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation… Highlights from this episode: 00:58 - The spiky beaker 03:36 - Look through a wide lens 09:10 - Co-regulation 11:06 - Do not try to reason 16:20 - Name the feeling 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together 💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025 💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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