# 213. This is your sign to stop BETRAYING YOURSELF

An episode of [Secluded Thoughts](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1561515782), 16 Sep 2025, 35 min.

Audio: https://audio3.redcircle.com/episodes/df068e94-ce57-47e1-9223-21876f86df7d/stream.mp3

Do you recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror every day? Or are you living a life that forces you to fade away to accept it because you’re afraid to start living for you? ✨ 5 Journal prompts to help you start becoming the best version of yourself THIS WEEK: https://secludedthoughts.com/reflect Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Can you look at yourself in the mirror without needing to look away?
[0:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, do you recognize yourself?
[0:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Is this the life that you genuinely want or is this the life that you were forced into?
[0:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Are you able to sit with yourself without needing a distraction?
[0:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, can you really handle the truth?
[0:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What is the absolute best version of your life that you can imagine and how does that compare with how you are living your life today?
[0:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I worked at Big Four Consulting after I graduated from college, I had a hard time recognizing myself.
[0:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I liked the people that I worked with and I liked where I worked but I hated how demanding the job was.
[0:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I wasn't really happy there but it was such a reputable firm that it gave me status and it's not that I liked or cared for the status but because I knew I was in a position where I wasn't being my authentic self where I wasn't doing what I genuinely wanted to do.
[1:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The fact that the firm carried status would make people automatically assume that I knew what I was doing with my life that I had things going for me and so they wouldn't question me.
[1:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's the key.
[1:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I like.
[1:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I like the fact that because things looked good on the outside people refrain from asking me questions because if they did they would probably realize that I don't actually like what I'm doing.
[1:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And slowly but surely while I worked there I started to fade away.
[1:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was having a hard time looking at myself in the mirror so to speak because I knew I wasn't being true to myself.
[1:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I knew I wouldn't be able to recognize myself because of what I was allowing myself to continue enduring.
[1:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I would think like how long am I willing to do this for?
[1:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How far was I willing to drag this out?
[2:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Have how many more years of my life was I willing to give to this thing that I wasn't happy with?
[2:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I remember the day I logged off of work and I poured a tall glass of wine and I sat there and I drank the full thing and immediately after I did that I was like, that's it.
[2:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm done.
[2:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: because I don't drink alone.
[2:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I rarely drink.
[2:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Back then I would drink socially, but I but it was socially.
[2:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I never drank alone.
[2:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I never had wine with dinner and stuff like that.
[2:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But the day I logged off of work and I was so stressed and overwhelmed and feeling miserable that I felt the need to go pour myself a tall glass of wine to drink before I even had something to eat.
[2:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This is it.
[2:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am going to quit because I am not going to allow this job to turn me into something that I'm not.
[3:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm already fading away.
[3:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I can already feel like I'm losing myself.
[3:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like I'm betraying myself.
[3:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not also going to turn into something that I'm not.
[3:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And on that day, I decided that I was going to quit.
[3:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now, if you're new here, welcome or welcome back to the show.
[3:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm your host, Sensei, and on this podcast, we talk about taking accountability for your life to become the best version of yourself.
[3:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And now that I've given you that inside, I want you to really think about what aspects of your life is making it hard for you to recognize yourself.
[3:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because I know it cannot just be me.
[3:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What are you doing that makes you feel like you are betraying yourself?
[3:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because you know this is not what you want to do.
[3:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know you are not in alignment with God's will for your life.
[3:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know you're not in alignment with what fulfills you.
[3:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What makes you happy?
[3:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What makes you feel like you're doing purpose-driven work?
[4:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What aspects of your life make it hard for you to recognize yourself?
[4:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and why are you allowing your true self and your needs to die for this thing?
[4:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's all we're going to be talking about in today's episode.
[4:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if you want 5 general prompts to help you unpack this further and really reflect on your life this week so you can start taking action to become the best version of yourself.
[4:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Then go to secluded.com slash reflect and I will send them to you.
[4:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I want to touch on why I think we do this as well as the awakening.
[4:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, I'm going to be speaking from my perspective.
[4:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want to touch on why I think we do this.
[4:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So at least why I did it.
[4:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then the awakening that I had before I finally decided to change the course of my life.
[4:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then what life looks like on the other side of all of that misery, when you decide to make a decision and you follow through with it.
[4:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So let's start with why we do this, okay?
[4:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And like you could probably expect, I'm going to say it's because we live for other people's approval.
[5:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We a lot of us have been conditioned to be, you know,
[5:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: this version of our self, and even a version of our self, but be this person that is agreeable and who doesn't rock the boat, who will follow what your parents and your family wants you to do, who will follow what society wants you to do, who will live according to the status quo,
[5:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And there have been several of us who have been punished for standing up for ourselves earlier on.
[5:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There are several of us who felt like things would always get really bad or we fear the rejection of a loved one, we fear the loss of love for a loved one, early on in our lives.
[5:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And so we become this...
[5:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: person who's very agreeable and who's afraid to live life for themselves because we feel like we need other people's approval.
[6:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I struggle with some form of that and it wasn't until I started living for myself and finally putting my foot down that I could feel like it's possible for me to start living the life that I actually wanted.
[6:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: but I talked about this in other episodes like your need for approval and then there's another one I forgot the name of it but I will leave it on a screen and in the description but I did make episodes about this The second thing is other people's version of success, right?
[6:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Society tells you you're supposed to do this, go to college, get a job, do this, work until you, you, you, you drop dead.
[6:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[6:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's this status quo idea of success that is drilled into us.
[6:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: from the time we enter school and we see that when people take different paths like entrepreneurship or being a creative, initially they're often ridiculed and sometimes it doesn't work out so a lot of us are afraid to rock the boat so we keep working towards this love this version of success that is not our own, the version now was forced on to us.
[7:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it takes a lot of trying to break away from that, okay, I know from experience.
[7:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Especially if you're already on that path and you've invested years of your life in doing it.
[7:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And another thing is I was never encouraged to like really express myself.
[7:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like I was an encouraged to express myself because
[7:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There were several aspects of my life where I would have questions about things, I had a lot of curiosity about things that people felt shouldn't be challenged and so when I asked questions, I was always like met with adversity, ridicule,
[7:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: People pick it on me sometimes in some situations like a lot of times we don't feel encouraged to express ourselves or express our curiosity because people want things to be according to the status quo so much that you are seen as some type of rebel when you just ask questions.
[8:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And so, not being, not feeling like it's safe for you to express yourself or to express your curiosity for some things makes you feel silenced and that also leads to you being on the path of being a people pleaser and just doing what people expect of you.
[8:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And lastly, on my take on why I think we do this, why I did this, okay, this is my perspective.
[8:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like I was very afraid of actually doing the thing because there was a lot of uncertainty that came with it.
[8:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was afraid of what was on the other side.
[8:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was afraid of what was on the other side of leaving the status quo.
[8:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I understand that I took a very traditional route, okay, I went to school, I went to college, I graduated with a degree in accounting, I went into finance, okay, but I invested four
[9:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did all of this ABC, I did like, I did the most, I was very much dedicated to living a status quo life where it didn't include anything about having a podcast, it didn't include anything about having a social media presence.
[9:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I was very afraid of branching out and just creating a podcast because if anybody
[9:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They're not always the most understanding when it comes to you doing things outside of your job, right?
[9:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you do, do you do in things, especially on social media?
[9:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like it doesn't even have to have anything to do with the job or anything, you don't even have to be talking about the job.
[9:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's like, some of these corporations, they just want to feel like they own you, they own your time.
[9:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And some people you work with can make it very difficult when they figure out you're doing other things.
[9:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and it's working out for you right so believe me I know but I like I said I was pursuing a very status quo life a very status quo path and it did not include me having a social media presence my background is in finance and accounting sweetheart what does that have to do with um a podcast what does that have to do with a podcast on personal growth at that
[10:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: complete opposites, right?
[10:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I was very afraid to branch out and do that because my whole life is like I've been taught things about professionalism and elevator pitches and networking and and how can I be a value to you and you know all of this stuff is like there's a whole world when you go down a corporate path.
[10:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: in like on a business path with finance and accounting, it's so structured, it's so status quo and then I worked in like a male dominated field so it's like what I'm doing is the complete opposite of that.
[11:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I was very much afraid to venture out on the other side because I had no real exposure to that and nobody that I knew personally was doing that.
[11:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I was very afraid to step outside of my comfort zone.
[11:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I understand that for you, whatever it is you want to do, it can be very scary if you
[11:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was afraid of the uncertainty that came with that.
[11:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was on a completely different path.
[11:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had no idea what I would be up against.
[11:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had some assumptions, some fears.
[11:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like the fear of being seen and overly exposed.
[11:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I wanted to keep my privacy.
[11:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I was worried about how this would affect that.
[11:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[11:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was afraid of all of the uncertainty, to the point where I procrastinated for months, where it has taken me months to do things that could be perceived as so simple, but it's because I spend such a significant amount of my life pursuing something else, and then I decided to do something completely opposite.
[12:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: that it has taken me so long to get to this point of feeling comfortable doing what I'm doing because of how long I was content with following the status quo.
[12:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm telling you I understand it's nothing that's easy.
[12:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I'm telling you, despite how well I was doing in my path when I was on the status quo, it never brought me satisfaction, it never brought me peace.
[12:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And regardless of the accomplishments, the rewards, the recognition, regardless of all of that,
[12:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like I was betraying myself.
[12:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like I wasn't being authentic.
[13:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like I was living a lie.
[13:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like on the outside it looked great.
[13:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: People thought I was doing so great and I was doing great.
[13:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I just wasn't happy because I knew that's not what I wanted to do.
[13:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I knew it wasn't really my calling.
[13:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do.
[13:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's what I'm saying.
[13:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to live with that.
[13:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to live with whatever decision you make.
[13:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And despite how scary it is,
[13:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I can tell you from somebody who's on the other side that you feel so much peace.
[13:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's so much peace that comes with just being authentic, versus following is that the school and living a lie.
[13:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So let's talk about my experience, like my awakening and when things started to switch for me when I felt more comfortable to start living authentically.
[13:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The first sign, the first part for me was that my body started letting me know.
[13:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your body will let you know.
[13:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[14:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What do I mean by that?
[14:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean, if it's time for you to wake up and go to that job and your alarm goes off and you feel absolutely Misery like you feel heavy you feel heavy laying down.
[14:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's hard for you to get up like Nothing it like it pain headaches discomfort.
[14:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't even feel like you slept well.
[14:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's like
[14:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: your body, everything in you is like just shredding every part of going to that job or doing whatever it is that you are doing.
[14:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not always about your career.
[14:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes it's about being with a person, your body will tell you, you will feel it.
[14:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[14:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It will tell you that this is not the one, this is not the job, this is not what you are supposed to be doing.
[14:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are out of alignment, your body will tell you you will feel it if you know you know you will feel it, okay?
[15:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And another thing that is paired with that is that peace will leave you peace will leave you if you are in a situation that you are not supposed to be in
[15:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Peace will leave you.
[15:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My peace left.
[15:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My peace exited stage left when I decided to stay when I knew that it wasn't for me.
[15:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My peace left.
[15:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If I'm being honest, if you my peace, I didn't even have peace when I made the decision to take the first job because I knew
[15:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It wasn't really aligned with something I enjoyed.
[15:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Every other aspect of the job I enjoyed, the people, the perks, the pay, the...
[15:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everything about it, even the corporate life, I like the business casual business professional attire.
[16:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I like that.
[16:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's me.
[16:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I had no issue with that.
[16:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I liked it.
[16:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I liked the office.
[16:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I liked being downtown and a high rise, I liked all of it, I'm being honest with you.
[16:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I liked all of it.
[16:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I had no piece about the work itself.
[16:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And so every time I had to actually do the work in some times it was just
[16:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and the crazy thing was I was good at my job.
[16:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was great at my job but like I didn't I didn't actually like it.
[16:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had no peace with it, you know?
[16:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So then eventually the long guy stayed.
[16:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's like my body felt it.
[16:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The peace left.
[16:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I wasn't that peace in my mind.
[16:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My alarm would go off and I just Lord have mercy.
[16:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm like, please, Lord is this is this life.
[16:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: is this life.
[16:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it's not that I wasn't grateful for it.
[16:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It was that I just I couldn't get over the fact that I knew I was betraying myself.
[16:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I couldn't get over the fact that my body, my being, my mind, my spirit, everything had already told me that it's time to move on.
[17:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I could not bring myself to physically do it.
[17:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That was the issue.
[17:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's why it was so hard for me.
[17:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Peace left.
[17:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Peace left and it did not return until the day I decided to quit.
[17:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It didn't return until the day I took that drink and I said that's it.
[17:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It did not return until I finally had that call and I said I'm officially resigning and I put in everything and it was my last day, I just, I rejoiced, I rejoiced like I didn't, I never rejoiced before and I thanked God for it but I was just happy because it wasn't about the job itself, the job was just a situation.
[17:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It was about the fact that I finally did something that I needed to do for me.
[17:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: because I had no peace in doing that thing.
[17:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm telling you, and that's no easy way to live.
[18:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's a very miserable way to live when peace has left you, okay?
[18:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if you know you know, it is not easy thing to do, zero out of 10 would not recommend.
[18:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you're in a situation where your peace has left and you are miserable, and it's then that if it's a job or if it's a person, it might be hard to just like walk away immediately.
[18:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Well, let me just tell you something before I left my first job and understand that I was saving my money.
[18:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I never spent frivolously because I knew that the day would come where I would have to leave and I didn't want to be.
[18:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't want to feel tied to it because I had no way of paying my bills.
[18:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that was me preparing myself for a decision that I knew I had to make even
[18:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So the same thing with a person, sometimes like us, ladies, we know, like we leave mentally and emotionally long before we ever leave physically.
[18:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, start preparing yourself.
[18:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you know it's not for you, start preparing yourself, make the necessary preparations, because I'm telling you, your piece will not return until you leave.
[19:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's a sign, stop ignoring it, the misery is not worth it, okay?
[19:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then the third thing that was part of my awakening or my wake-up call, the things that contributed to me realizing that, okay, it is time to go.
[19:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have suffered long enough.
[19:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The third thing was when I realized the patterns and the habits that were developing to numb the fact that my piece had left, to numb the fact that it was painful for me to be in a situation that I knew I did not want to be in but I was too afraid to leave.
[19:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I already gave you the example with me pouring that drink.
[19:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I only drank rarely spontaneously and socially at that point
[19:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: never we've did a never in my own home and before it even formed a habit to where I felt like I would need a drink to take off the edge after a long hard day at work I left right but sometimes that's a thing that develops because I would just say something let me just be really if you don't know if you know you know but if you don't know I'm not telling you what I realize is a lot of people
[20:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In my line of work or similar fields where it's very demanding, and it depends on the culture of the company to the environments.
[20:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I noticed when I wasn't big for consulting a lot of the people that I worked with, they were very, they were very adamants on having, you know, happy hours.
[20:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like after work, it was like, okay, let's go drink, let's go eat, let's go do this, let's supplement the misery that we feel with drinking or spending here and there or like just spending the money and drawing the perks.
[21:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So we don't have to actually pay attention to how much we hate this job.
[21:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm just being real.
[21:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Yeah, I said it.
[21:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some people genuinely do that and I know people who are not in big for consulting, but they could be in like investment banking, or law, or Banking like a different type of banking because that's my my my my area.
[21:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did finance and account say I know people in like adjacent fields
[21:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I'm telling you, it's like people will be in these jobs that are high stress, high demand, or like very demanding environments, and they absolutely hate it, but they love the paycheck and to cope, they spend the money so frivolously because they feel like, well, I'm miserable at this job every single day, so let me spend the money so I can feel like it's worth it.
[21:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because you know you hate it, but you're trying to cope so you try to cope with excessive spending You try to cope with drinking and the happy hours and all of that and it's like all of that is like a gateway You are developing bad habits to try to cope with the pain and the misery that you feel of being a situation that you are too afraid to leave
[22:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm so happy I was brave enough to leave before I developed any like toxic habits and patterns that would help me forget how much I don't like being here.
[22:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And a lot of people don't.
[22:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's why I'm saying the third thing you need to pay attention to is the habits and the patterns that you form to try to numb the pain.
[22:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But now let's talk about the other side.
[22:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's talk about what it's like when you finally pay attention to those signals to take heed and you start living in alignment.
[22:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You do the necessary work to make a decision and you start taking action towards the life that you want so you can recognize yourself because I can tell you from being on the other side channel, I am blessed and highly favored and I am so grateful to be here.
[23:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am so grateful, I am so thankful, I am so proud of myself.
[23:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And like I said before a few times, you become so much more confident in yourself and at peace with yourself because it's like I get to wake up every day and do what I actually want to do.
[23:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I get to actually do things that I enjoy.
[23:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am not letting anybody's son take away my peace.
[23:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am not living for anybody else.
[23:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you see what I mean?
[23:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want that for you.
[23:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want that for you.
[23:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I'm saying.
[23:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, it is so amazing being here.
[23:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It not, it took some time.
[23:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It took some time.
[23:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It took some patience.
[23:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It took, I mean, it took some of my joy too.
[24:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[24:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: These things were tough.
[24:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There was a lot of healing that had to be done.
[24:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[24:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It wasn't not just wake up and do this.
[24:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It took a lot.
[24:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: mentally, emotionally.
[24:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But when you actually get hair, it's just so rewarding.
[24:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel so much more confident in yourself.
[24:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel more confident to do other things in other areas of your life that you really want to do.
[24:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel more confident to step outside of your comfort zone in other aspects of your life.
[24:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you're at peace, like it puts you on a whole trajectory of just divine alignment because you took that big step to get rid of the things that no longer serve you and try the things that you really want to do.
[24:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And even if things are not working out as you saw it, even if you're in early stages, even if it's not paying off yet, it's still so rewarding.
[25:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's still so rewarding, just the fact that you step aside of your comfort zone.
[25:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are doing something that a lot of people will never do.
[25:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And a lot of people are scared to do.
[25:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They're afraid to do it.
[25:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some people will never live a life.
[25:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: that they enjoy.
[25:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They will never live a life where they pursue their level of success.
[25:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some people will never even think what is success to me.
[25:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: One makes me happy.
[25:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What do I genuinely want to do?
[25:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some people will never even think of that let alone pursue that path of
[25:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Authenticity and divine alignment.
[25:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It just makes you feel so so much more proud of yourself.
[25:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's so rewarding.
[25:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just the decision itself is so rewarding.
[25:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't even have to see the fruit of your decision yet, but it makes you feel so proud of yourself when you finally decide to start living for you.
[25:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And like I said earlier, your piece comes back, okay, your piece returns and you experience that true piece that comes with living for yourself, that comes with, okay, I'm doing this thing right now and it's not working out like I thought it would yet, it hasn't maybe replaced what I just left.
[26:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: maybe in terms of income or maybe you left a relationship and it's like okay it's not I'm not necessarily jumping for joy right now because I still feel hurt.
[26:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I still feel tied to that past situation
[26:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It doesn't even matter if you are experiencing the full fruits of that decision yet, just the fact that you made the initial decision to get rid of what doesn't serve you, is so rewarding and it gives you peace of mind while you are on that path of doing what aligns with God's will for your life.
[27:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel more at peace even if it's not working out right
[27:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The peace will never be there when you know you're not doing what you're supposed to do even if it's success or even if it's working out, even if it fits society's version of success.
[27:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But once you start taking actions and doing the things that you want to do, doing the things that God wants you to do, being in alignment with his will for your life, it doesn't matter if it's not paying off yet.
[27:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel so much peace with just knowing that you are on the right path.
[27:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want that for you.
[27:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want that for you.
[27:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This is it's great here.
[27:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like there is nothing anybody can tell me about my podcast that would make me stop because I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.
[27:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I know I'm doing what I genuinely enjoy.
[27:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I know I'm doing something that's genuinely making a positive impact in the lives of people and that's what I wanted.
[28:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I wanted to do.
[28:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, it doesn't matter if I'm not getting like a million views on my videos or whatever I am at peace with my decision to do this because I know I'm aligned.
[28:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am doing what I genuinely enjoy, it doesn't matter what the outcome is.
[28:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am happy with my decision, I am happy with my life.
[28:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And lastly, being on the other side of making that brave and bold decision to be in alignment
[28:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: looks like having more mental clarity and mental real estate to focus on what really matters.
[28:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now this is what discipline comes in because just because you have the mental capacity now because you're not miserable every single day, you're not.
[28:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: making up scenarios in your head of being a toxic relationship, right?
[29:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just because you have the mental clarity, because you've got rid of the things that don't belong, doesn't mean that all of a sudden you're going to have the ability to focus on what matters.
[29:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It requires discipline to now stay focused on pursuing that path and doing what needs to be done.
[29:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But now, at the very least, you have the mental capacity to move forward.
[29:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's very hard to move forward and do something you want to do when you're doing the complete opposite and you haven't let that thing go yet and you know you need to do that to do what you actually want to do.
[29:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[29:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like if we take relationships for example, if you say you want to get married right now and you want to find a love of your life and you want to, you know, settle down
[29:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: with your god or daint husband and start having children everything but you are with somebody you know could never be your husband you are with somebody who based on the way they're treating you you are confused you don't even have clarity of where you stand in their life but yet you're also ignoring your intuition because you know already within yourself that they are not the ones for you but you haven't gotten past the point of not waiting for them to tell you that they don't want you
[30:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're at that point, if you're asking for a husband, but you still have this man in your life, he's not going to send him.
[30:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He's not going to send him because guess what, your husband deserves better than that.
[30:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your husband deserves you when you are actually ready for him.
[30:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So the more you allow this person to take up space in your life, to take up your time, to take away months and years that you can never get back.
[30:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The longer it will take for you to actually find your husband, because you have this place holder in your life, you have this huge elephant in the room that needs to be addressed.
[30:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to get rid of that person to actually find a person that you are supposed to be with, right?
[30:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that's what I mean.
[30:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you get rid of that person, when you let that relationship go, right, and you take your time to heal and everything, now you have the mental clarity to focus on your healing, to focus on coming up with your non-negotiables, to reflect on that, to establish better boundaries, to work on yourself, to love yourself, to accept yourself, to forgive yourself, and that person for whatever transpired.
[31:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And now you are moving steps closer every day into being the wife that your husband deserves and to being the person, being that being in alignment with that version of you who's ready for your husband.
[31:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But it's very hard to do that while you have somebody in your life wasting your time.
[31:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[31:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that's what I mean.
[31:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you leave, you will have the mental clarity and the focus to be able to start preparing for what you are aligned with.
[31:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[31:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean the best version of you, not the version of you who still accent in that right now.
[31:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[31:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just saying.
[31:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But that's what I mean.
[32:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So it will take discipline obviously when you get to that point where you not cut up on the placeholder, cut up on the things that's taking your time and peace.
[32:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But it also requires discipline and that's another topic for another day.
[32:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But at the very least, you will have the mental capacity to be able to focus on the things that matter.
[32:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[32:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your new challenge will be disciplined, but at least it's not misery.
[32:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, these are some of my takeaways from being on the other side of waking up, not ignoring the signs, acknowledging the signs, and then making a decision to start living in alignment with what I want, with the life that I want for myself, and make no mistake.
[32:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The life I want for myself is in alignment with what God wants for me, right?
[32:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He changed my desire to match what he wants for me.
[32:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm not talking about living based on your ego and doing whatever I want I'm still talking about in alignment with God's will if why I okay?
[33:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But that's my take.
[33:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I just want to make this episode because It's a new year.
[33:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's still earlier.
[33:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's still early in the year.
[33:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It doesn't matter when you're listening to this
[33:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's never too late.
[33:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I just wanted you to be able to look at yourself in the mirror to be able to recognize yourself when you see yourself because you are living an authentic life versus having to run to a bunch of distractions to take your mind off of the fact that you are actually miserable and you're not brave enough to do something about it.
[33:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not worth it.
[33:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's very much doable, for sure, I did it for a very long time.
[33:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some people do it their whole lives.
[33:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's very much doable, but there's another way.
[33:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And there is a better way.
[33:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it's great over here.
[33:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I just want that for you.
[33:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's all.
[33:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, so some episodes that will really help build on this and help you if you're struggling with this is Episode 154.
[34:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I wish I knew this sooner 156 your destiny requires more from you episode 38 Who were you before the world told you who you should be and this is an oldy but goody and then 149 accept your story and become unbordered
[34:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, if you like this episode and you're watching on YouTube, make sure you like and subscribe and leave a comment if this resonated with you.
[34:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're listening to the audio, then please rate five stars and leave a written review.
[34:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is all I have to say today and I will talk to you next Sunday.

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