# 228. 6 Mindset Shifts that changed my life (no-nonsense advice that helped me step into my next level)

An episode of [Secluded Thoughts](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1561515782), 1 Mar 2026, 1 h 00 min.

Audio: https://audio3.redcircle.com/episodes/73df2ad8-62a2-484f-ab95-b1b33ca73d03/stream.mp3

In this episode, I'm getting in your business (you've been warned). I'm breaking down six shifts I had to make that completely changed my life. We'll discuss: • The mentality that keeps you in a loop of negativity • The 3 ways you're seeking validation that's holding you back • The thing high achievers specifically struggle with that quietly destroys confidence (this one might hit different) • Why waiting for clarity is actually the problem • The loop keeping you stuck at step one with no progress • The fear hiding underneath all of it, literally holding you hostage If this episode resonated with you — especially the parts about victim mentality, fear of being seen, or waiting for clarity before you take action — what you're experiencing are symptoms of a misaligned identity. Meaning: the version of you that's trying to do the thing isn't fully aligned with the life you're trying to build. If you're ready to actually become the version of you required for your next level, I'll give you the blueprint: https://secludedthoughts.com/identity Journal prompts for high-achievers: https://secludedthoughts.com/doha Journals prompts to become the best version of yourself: https://secludedthoughts.com/journals Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In this episode, I'm going to tell you six mindset shifts and changes that I made in my life.
[0:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Things I stopped doing that has drastically changed my life and allowed me to step into the best version of myself.
[0:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to be in your business.
[0:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to be dragging you and I'm going to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
[0:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that you can get your life together and do what is required for the life that you say you want.
[0:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and you can either have imperfect progress but you're building but you're doing it you can at least say with some self-respect and some dignity that I have started this thing and I'm doing it and it's not perfect but I'm making progress.
[0:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Then for you to to to to to to to months later be somebody who's like oh yeah I'm going to do it still you're still going to do it.
[0:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: No you need to start.
[0:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, when you waste time trying to make the right decision, you make no decision, which is actually a decision in decision is a decision and there is actually certainty within decision because the results are certain, I.e.
[0:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you will get nowhere you cannot be at the start in line spending months researching on what the perfect next step is but you waste time trying to
[1:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Find a studio a nice place to record you trying to find a perfect set up in the perfect lighting You're doing all this research on social media trying to figure out, you know, which equipment should you use which camera should I use?
[1:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, which is the best one.
[1:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How do I edit?
[1:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Oh, they don't let me go on fiber Let me try to figure out you know some ways to do this logo because that's what's going to make the difference my logo
[1:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me figure out the brand colors, and it did six months have gone by you have nothing to show for it.
[1:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the show, I'm your host Sency and on this podcast we talk about taking accountability for your life to become the best version of yourself.
[1:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So let us get right into the six mindset shifts or the things that I stopped doing, ways that I stopped thinking, ways I changed my mind and how I saw things, how I showed up that has completely changed my life in the past few years.
[2:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The first thing that had to go was my victim mentality.
[2:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This is actually what launched all of this in the first place.
[2:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like this is what initially set me on the path that would later lead to me creating the podcasts and everything else that I do.
[2:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me explain.
[2:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Basically, when I was a teenager in my mid teens about 16, I think, or 15, I don't know.
[2:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I almost accelerated my exploration, if it gets my drift, and it was because I had a lot going on mentally.
[2:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, I wasn't the best at processing things, I would just absorb everything, and then it would just sit on this proverbial shelf, and then when the shelf got too heavy and it broke, and it fell on me, I felt overwhelmed.
[2:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's what led to the thought of almost doing that.
[2:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the thing is, when God spread my life by intervening, it ignited this flame in me or this level of curiosity where I felt like, I was spread for a reason, and I need to figure out the reason.
[3:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But before I could get to figuring that out, I have to do something about my current circumstances and my current reality and the things that were bothering me.
[3:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I remember that, I
[3:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: coming to the conclusion that the thing that was really affecting me the most was my victim mentality, my mindset.
[3:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was very negative.
[3:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was very pessimistic.
[3:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I always felt like life was happening to me, not for me.
[3:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I felt like everything was against me.
[3:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Neuroscience will tell you that there's a part of the brain.
[3:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I believe it's called a reticular activity in system or something.
[3:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That part of your brain,
[3:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Well, find evidence for whatever you say is true, whatever you choose to believe.
[3:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you say it's a great day today, it's going to find a bunch of evidence to support that it's a great day.
[4:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, oh yeah, you know, you didn't choose your alarm.
[4:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You work upon time.
[4:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Oh yeah, you work on feeling well rested and energized.
[4:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Oh yeah, you went to the office today and then you found
[4:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: a parking spot right by the door and you won't busy at work today.
[4:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Oh, yes, somebody gave you a free thing today.
[4:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like your brain will start finding a bunch of evidence to support whatever statement you make.
[4:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: On the flip side, if you say something negative, it will also do the same thing.
[4:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you say, oh, today was a terrible day.
[4:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now your brain is like, you know what?
[4:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're right.
[4:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you go to work today,
[4:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: this person had an attitude with you that drive through line was longer than usual today and you know all of this traffic happening and you know what it's going to rain tonight and then it like it will find evidence to support whatever statement that you make.
[4:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever direction you send it in or whatever task you give it that is a direction it is going to go.
[4:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It is not biased.
[4:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You set the thermometer for how your life is going to be.
[4:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How your day is going to be based on your thoughts based on how you think based on what you say.
[5:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: right?
[5:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So the first thing I had to give up was the victim mentality.
[5:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I stopped saying that everything was working against me and all these things keep happening to me, when I started asking questions instead of making statements, things started to shift, which is an excellent strategy that I've been using lately that I've been using since then too.
[5:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: is instead of making statements as questions.
[5:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Instead of making statements that cause you to hit a wall and make you feel hopeless, like you have no options, that things are just working against you, ask questions instead.
[5:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So for example, let's say, I don't know you post a piece of content, right?
[5:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it didn't get any views, any traction or anything like that.
[5:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you make statements and say,
[5:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Well, my content isn't taking off.
[5:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I guess I'm just not a good content creator.
[5:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I guess I should just stop making content.
[5:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This isn't working at Ayara Yada.
[5:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your RAS is going to confirm that and find a bunch of evidence to do that.
[5:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you say instead,
[5:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Hmm.
[5:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This piece of content didn't perform well.
[5:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What can I do to make the next one perform well?
[6:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or why didn't it perform well?
[6:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What's my best performing piece of content and how does it compare to this piece of content?
[6:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Where was the lapse in strategy or execution?
[6:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What caused this to not perform well?
[6:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see the difference in how you respond to both of these things.
[6:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you make the statements and negative statements, you just feel like you up against a huge wall or you drop that won't move and you feel defeated.
[6:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you ask questions, now it almost makes you feel energized to want to get up and solve a problem.
[6:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now you are curious.
[6:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're not feeling defeated, you are curious, now you think of a bunch of things to do to try to answer that question.
[6:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is the point, right?
[6:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that's a practical way that you can start getting rid of a victim mentality.
[6:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes it's not always that you are the most negative pessimistic person in the room because that might not be a ministry that might not be a portion right now, but maybe there's something specific that you've been working on or something that you've
[7:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel like it's called delayed because you know God is incending it in your timeline or you feel like it's not working, you feel like the effort you are putting in has not been working instead of adopting a victim mentality in that specific area of being negative or pessimistic which will cause you to lose hope instead of making those statements and causing yourself to sit in defeat, ask questions instead that will get you up, that will get you moving, that will give you a burst of like
[7:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because now you have something to do something to solve instead of just sitting there feeling like a failure.
[7:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[7:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that's the first thing.
[7:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I started doing that, that caused me to go down the entire path of being an introspective person and learning from my mistakes and all these things.
[7:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Instead of just allowing myself to be a victim of my circumstances.
[7:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The second thing I stopped doing that completely changed my life is I stopped seeking other people's approval.
[7:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now this one was a long time coming.
[7:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This one took a while, this one took a minute, this one took several identity shifts, this one took like you know constantly practicing and putting this into repetition, every opportunity I got and then sometimes I wavered and then
[8:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Until I felt confident enough to be like, you know what, I actually don't need anybody else's approval, right?
[8:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I shared in the past that when I started my podcast all these years ago, before I jumped into it, I actually like went to people and I started posing the idea of a podcast.
[8:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What do you think about this thing?
[8:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, like,
[8:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: seeking validation almost anonymously like without coming out and say that I wanted to start a podcast to get a feel for how the people in my life would react to it.
[8:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am no longer that person.
[8:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, that is not my ministry as my portion anymore.
[8:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I no longer seek validation.
[8:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I stopped seeking validation because I realized a few things number one.
[8:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can get approval or please one person and then get rejection or an adverse reaction from another person So in other words, you cannot please everybody, okay?
[9:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Secondly, who are you asking and why are you asking them?
[9:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Are they even qualified?
[9:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[9:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Are they even qualified?
[9:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I learned that you must not seek
[9:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: advice from unwise counsel.
[9:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I said it like that because in the Bible it says that we should seek advice from wise counsel.
[9:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I say unwise counsel I mean let's say I want to be an Olympic athlete, right?
[9:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is what I want to do.
[9:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why would I go ask somebody who is bent out of shape, not eating well, not taking care of themselves, no fitness whatsoever?
[9:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why would I go to this person and seek approval or get their advice or how they feel or whatever they have to say on the topic of me becoming an Olympic athlete?
[9:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[9:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is not wise.
[9:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Wise counsel would be me going to somebody who's maybe a coach or a former athlete, or a current or former Olympian, like people with actual experience that can help me on the path that I want to take.
[10:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But going to people who are simply just in your life and around you because you want to be approved because you're a people pleaser, because you care so much about what they think, because you don't want them to judge you.
[10:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have to stop doing that and if you do that you need to stop doing that because here's the thing It's not when I say I don't seek approval from people It's not that I don't value other people's opinions when I want them It's not that I don't think people may not have anything useful to say it's not that I think that people are bad I just know that sometimes people can give you their opinions, their thoughts, their
[10:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: projections based on their own limitations and their own limited vision or lack of vision for whatever you want to do because God didn't tell them anything about that.
[10:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He told you, He told me, so why would I go to them and give them an opportunity to instill doubt and fear and anxiety and worry within me for something that does not concern them?
[11:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[11:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It doesn't have to mean anything about them, it doesn't have to mean anything about me,
[11:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I just don't seek advice from unwise counsel, okay, from people who can necessarily help me with what exactly I need help with.
[11:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[11:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I learned to be internally validated.
[11:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I learned to have an internal validation system that stems from what God already said about me.
[11:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And something I want to note on that as well is that when I say external validation, sometimes what we commonly go to is other people's approval,
[11:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: likes, comments, that sort of thing, maybe material things that I had yet to, but one of the ways God revealed to me that I was accidentally validated that I think I need to touch on, especially if there are any higher achievers watching this or ambitious people.
[12:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes when you are that ambitious, high-achieving person, you can get to a point you can make the mistake of getting to a point where you are accidentally validated by what you do, by your title, by your accolades, by your accomplishments.
[12:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if any of that takes a hit,
[12:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel like yourself worth is in jeopardy.
[12:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't know how to show up around people.
[12:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't know how to be around people because in your mind your value stems from who you can be to others.
[12:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What you can do, how much money you have, how much you can spend, what is your title, et cetera.
[12:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's why I created the Higher Cheever Journal that I recently released.
[12:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: with general prompts to help you if you are somebody who is dealing with that knowingly or unknowingly or you think it might be a potential risk factor because I'm telling you you don't want to get to the point where you realize it because the things that make you feel validated are being threatened and then you realize in that moment how much you depend on those things to feel good about yourself so I would highly recommend it if you are a high achiever, highly recommend you take those prompts.
[13:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But that is what I mean.
[13:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes external validation isn't just approval and comments and licenses and things.
[13:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's been validated by material things, by your money, by your types of bio-income, by your wealth, these types of things.
[13:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And when they are threatened, your self-esteem is threatened, your confidence is threatened, etc.
[13:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then also, when you're working on a goal or something, you rely on the physical manifestation of that goal in order to validate what you know about yourself.
[13:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's the two things that God revealed to me.
[13:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Number one being accidentally validated by accomplishments, accolades, titles, achievements, that sort of thing.
[13:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then also, when you're working on a goal, when you're working on a part of your vision for your life, et cetera, feeling like you needed to be physically manifested, to confirm what you know about yourself, instead of being internally validated,
[13:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and acting in alignment with who God sends you are, what you know about yourself and what you're trying to build, and then not letting your circumstances or your external reality dictate what you know, but persisting in that identity as that version of you until your external reality changes.
[14:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, a practical example is, I don't know, let's just say, you want to be a public speaker, and you know you're called to be a public speaker.
[14:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You've always felt that God wants to use your voice in some way, but because you got rejected by one or two speaking engagements, and it hasn't manifested in your reality, that you are being booked a lot for public speaking, you are letting the fact that people aren't booking you, make you cool.
[14:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: question and doubt what you know about yourself.
[14:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Instead of knowing that this is what I want to do and just because one or two doors closed, that doesn't mean that I am not who I say I am, right?
[14:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I mean by the external validation, not just the likes and the comments and the validation from other people and even compliments some other people.
[14:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Being excellently validated by your circumstances, your wealth, your materials and looking to the external reality, your life to validate or confirm what you know about yourself, instead of letting what you know about yourself, shift your reality, right?
[15:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And by the way, that's exactly what I teach you how to do inside of become YouTube.0, and I will leave the link in the description with all of the information.
[15:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The fourth thing that I stopped doing, that significantly changed my life, is
[15:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I stopped thinking I was too much, or that I was doing too much.
[15:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There have been times in my life where, through remarks and comments from various people in various situations.
[15:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: People made me feel like I was doing too much, that I was extra, like what I was doing wasn't necessary for whatever the situation was or whatever.
[15:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like little things, little things, and sometimes big things, right?
[15:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like I'm a very passionate person.
[16:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's something I want to tell that I can't say prematurely, I need to confirm it first.
[16:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We'll talk about that later, right?
[16:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I guess.
[16:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm a very passionate person when there is something that I really want to do or something that I'm really interested in.
[16:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I will give it my absolute all, right?
[16:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't care what's in the way.
[16:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will give it my absolute all,
[16:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And there are certain things about me that, you know, if I have resolved, that this is just who I am, this is just who I am, right?
[16:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am somebody who I like being extra.
[16:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, I like being extra in a sense that I like and want to be an extraordinary person.
[16:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Extraordinary is extra ordinary.
[16:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: As in more than ordinary, above ordinary, you go the extra mile.
[17:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is who I am, that is who I've always been, right?
[17:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I like to operate at a standard of excellence in things that I really care about especially, right?
[17:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's always been who I am.
[17:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So anything I'm passionate about anything I really like, I really try to put my best foot forward and give my all in it.
[17:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And sometimes that is very evident in my life.
[17:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, if you know me personally and sometimes even if you know me online, you can tell the things that I care about by how much time effort and energy
[17:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can always tell what a person genuinely cares about based on these things, right?
[17:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And fortunately for me because that's not everybody says to the money, but fortunately for me, the things that I give my time effort and energy to are the things that I am genuinely passionate about.
[17:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Therefore, I am in alignment with my interests, with my passions, with my values, etc.
[18:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm good with that.
[18:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But unfortunately I have let some people in the past make me feel like I was doing too much that I was too much of something in a specific area of my life.
[18:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes it was in big things or big areas like my interest, things with the podcast stuff that I really want to do like that.
[18:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But sometimes it's in little things too.
[18:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I remember in freshman year,
[18:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was I was one of those freshmen who would wear makeup to class like I would dress up to class because I like looking a bit more put together right like I like my bare minimum to be a bit more elevated
[18:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I would, I would get snide comments and stuff, people saying things like I'm doing too much for class.
[18:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's who I am sweetheart, okay?
[18:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not, I'm not doing anything in comparison to somebody who's doing more or in comparison to somebody who's doing less.
[18:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm simply doing me, right?
[18:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've always done me.
[18:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've always ran my own race.
[19:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're not new head as something that I've said over and over the concept of running your own race, stay focused on your path and what you want to do, right?
[19:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is how I live my life.
[19:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But unfortunately, sometimes I've let the whispers in the remarks of people.
[19:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: who tried to make me feel like I was doing too much or I was giving too much to something.
[19:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like I genuinely let that affect me sometimes and make me feel like maybe I am doing too much.
[19:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've decided that I'm not doing too much and me, me deciding that I'm not doing too much, also does not mean that you aren't doing enough.
[19:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because I know sometimes people will want to give that rebuttal because it's witty, right?
[19:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: People will say, am I doing too much or are you not doing enough?
[19:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't care if you're not doing enough.
[19:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's some of my business.
[19:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't care who's not doing enough.
[19:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't care who's doing more.
[19:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't care who's doing less.
[19:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm simply going to do me and I have decided that I am not doing too much.
[19:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I have decided that how other people perceive me being me is none of my business.
[20:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Take it up with somebody else.
[20:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[20:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to continue doing me.
[20:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if you think it's too much, then you know, I don't know, maybe don't come around me.
[20:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But like, I'm going to continue doing me, right?
[20:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I say that because that's something that sometimes you can be in an environment where people,
[20:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: could possibly be intimidated by you, or not like you, or resent you, for whatever reason.
[20:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And sometimes it's also not that serious, but at the same time, the comment is unnecessary.
[20:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know what I mean?
[20:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What I've learned in that is that I should just be confident in doing what I want to do, in doing the things that I genuinely love to do.
[20:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and not let that mean anything in relation to what anybody else is doing and not internalize anybody's perception of that.
[20:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that is what I mean when I say, I stop thinking that I was doing too much, I stop letting people make me feel like I was doing too much or being too much, because I am fine and I'm content with the way that I am, okay?
[21:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you are not that's not my business, go around somebody else, okay?
[21:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The next thing,
[21:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: is I stopped waiting for clarity to act.
[21:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This is going to free somebody.
[21:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you are a perfectionist, if you struggle with procrastination, if you struggle with that thing where you feel like you need a hundred percent clarity or certainty to take action, to make a move, to get up, to do anything.
[21:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you have been tortured and tormented by the lack of clarity in whatever it is you want to do in your life and you're not a type of person where you will sit still and just like fall apart if you don't have clarity on something.
[21:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This one is for you.
[21:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've been that person.
[21:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me tell you what I do now.
[21:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[21:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because that's not my portion anymore.
[21:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And every now and then when it tries to come back, I have to remind myself of this.
[21:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It happened literally just yesterday.
[22:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[22:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I reminded myself and I got over it.
[22:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: By doing exactly what I'm about to tell you, when you don't have clarity on something, you need to do whatever it is that you know to do with the information that you have.
[22:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because what's going to happen is, in you moving, in you doing something, right, anything that you know to do,
[22:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you are going to get feedback and you are going to get information from that and that is where the clarity for your next step is going to come from.
[22:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not going to come from you sitting on the couch or sitting in bed or wallowing away, waiting on some grand idea to hit you, upside the head like this is what I want you to do, waiting for God to just give you a dream, laying out the path clearly, right?
[22:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Telling you exactly what to do exactly what the steps are.
[22:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's not going to happen.
[22:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if you sit around and wait for it, you will just waste time, you will let time pass you by, and now you will have two problems, the lack of clarity and the guilt and resentment towards yourself for not doing something sooner and letting all of that time pass.
[23:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[23:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The loss of self respect for yourself because you keep saying you're going to do something and all of the time is passing and you have nothing to show for it.
[23:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What you need to do is you need to get up, and you need to start moving.
[23:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Get up and do what you know how to do.
[23:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me break it down and give you some examples in my own life.
[23:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Before I started the podcast, I procrastinated for three months.
[23:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why did I procrastinate for three months?
[23:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because I didn't know how to start one.
[23:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know what the steps were.
[23:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I felt like I needed 100% clarity of what to do, how to do it, and all these nice little things.
[23:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, trying to make it perfect?
[23:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Before I started.
[23:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know anything about lighting.
[23:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know what camera to use.
[23:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know what mic to use.
[23:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My first mic was a $20 mic off of Amazon, before I invested in this one.
[23:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know what equipment to use.
[23:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I knew absolutely nothing.
[24:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I knew nothing about starting a podcast.
[24:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was just blogging recently, writing on it is my laptop on my brain.
[24:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now I've got time to start the podcast.
[24:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't know nothing about no equipment, nothing like that.
[24:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I procrastinated for a month because I needed clarity and I needed a nice logo and needed some type of fabulous launch.
[24:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Eventually I got tired of myself because I had a Google Doc where I was planning like step 50, I was probably like on step 50 of what I'm going to do to launch it, mind you with no action taken thus far, none.
[24:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: people didn't even know.
[24:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was about to start a podcast, but I had this like 50 page Google Doc, intricate the planning on the process, trying to get clarity on everything and find it something.
[24:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then when I eventually ended up starting, right?
[24:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The plan was obsolete by step two or three.
[24:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Meaning all of the time that I wasted in the months, the three months procrastinating, trying to get everything perfect, I didn't use most of these plans, because by the time I started I realized number one, it wasn't as complicated as I assumed.
[25:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Number two, I got the answers fairly quickly with the feedback that I got from taking action.
[25:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: instead of all of the research, right?
[25:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't even know what to look for, or what to search for because I hadn't started.
[25:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I wasn't familiar with the territory.
[25:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I wasn't familiar with certain terms.
[25:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I wasn't familiar with anything in starting a podcast because I had not started a podcast.
[25:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was just planning one.
[25:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was preparing for one, right?
[25:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to stop the endless preparation, stop the endless researching, okay?
[25:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will go way further faster in life if you just move on what you know now.
[25:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Instead of trying to wait for a perfectly lit path, it's not coming.
[25:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not happening.
[25:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That time is going to pass and you can either have imperfect progress, but you're building, but you're doing it, you can at least say with some self-respect and some dignity that I have started this thing and I'm doing it and it's not perfect but I'm making progress.
[26:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Then for you to, to, to, to two months later, be somebody who's like,
[26:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: start.
[26:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[26:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The perfectly well lit path that you're waiting for is not happening.
[26:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not coming, stop waiting on it, you're wasting time.
[26:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[26:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Learn from my mistakes.
[26:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now, when I don't have clarity on something, I do what I know to do.
[26:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So this happened yesterday, recently.
[26:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was thinking like, I have content to make, I don't really know what to make, I don't really know what to do, for some reason, a way of confusion just came over me.
[26:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then I paused and I went back to what I just said.
[26:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I may not know the perfect thing to do.
[26:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I may not know the quote and quote right thing to do, but I know what to do.
[26:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: For example, Avipartcasts, what do I need to do?
[26:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Record and publish an episode every single week.
[27:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: very simple.
[27:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So when I'm looking at my to do this I know recording and publishing an episode should be on that to do this.
[27:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I can't sit around me like what I don't know what to do because I don't know exactly what to talk about exactly what to do.
[27:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I know what to do.
[27:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will do what I can with what I know to do instead of waiting on the perfect plan, the perfect episode, the
[27:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not coming, do what you know to do and the clarity will unfold in the process, right?
[27:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I literally like just drafted up a script with some bullet points of some random things that I thought have helped me and let me just make the episode about that and that was this episode, right?
[27:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The real problem here was I was trying to make the right decision.
[28:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is where we go wrong, or at least that's where I went wrong.
[28:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me talk about me, I'll say out of your business.
[28:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Where I went wrong was I kept trying to make the right decision.
[28:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: As if there was a wrong decision, and if I made the wrong decision, things would fall apart.
[28:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you waste time trying to make the right decision, you make no decision, which is actually a decision in decision is a decision.
[28:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And there is actually certainty within decision, because the results are certain, ie, you will get nowhere.
[28:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[28:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you need to stop trying to make the right decision and make a decision.
[28:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Making a decision is better than making no decision, right?
[28:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Back at my last job in training I learned the concept of one-way doors versus two-way doors.
[28:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: One-way doors are decisions that if you make them they're significantly hard or impossible to come back from.
[28:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like for example, if you decide to move to a different state.
[28:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You should likely spend time making that decision because it's going to impact many areas of your life.
[29:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You might have to sell everything up and leave, that's a significantly impactful decision in your life, right?
[29:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now, that decision is not irreversible because you can always move back.
[29:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's highly inconvenient and will take a lot of time to reverse.
[29:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But it's not reversible.
[29:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Another example of a one-way decision is if you forgive me for being morbid, I couldn't think of anything better.
[29:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But if you accelerate your expiration, you can't come back from that.
[29:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[29:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's a one-way door.
[29:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's no coming back.
[29:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But a lot of our decisions are actually two-way doors.
[29:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Two-way doors are think of it like a swinging door as easy as you walk in, you can come back out, right?
[29:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A lot of our decisions are two-way doors, and two-way doors are decisions that you don't spend a lot of time on, right?
[29:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because as quickly as you made it, it's as quickly as you can reverse it.
[29:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if we take content creation, for example, as quickly as I put out this episode, it's as quickly as I can make it private and decide, I don't like this episode.
[30:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: As quickly as I recorded, it's as quickly I can just say, you know what I'm going to delete this footage and I'm not going to release that episode.
[30:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So why should I spend hours, days, weeks, months, years procrastinating on what to talk about when I can just take down the post if I don't like it.
[30:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why don't even have to edit it and upload it if I don't like it?
[30:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[30:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop wasting time waiting for clarity and do what you know to do with the information that you have.
[30:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Most of the decisions you are procrastinating on are two-way doors.
[30:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Our decisions that can be easily reversed stop wasting so much time on these easy decisions.
[30:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: These reversible decisions because you're trying to make the right decision.
[30:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Not making a decision because you are afraid of making the wrong decision is in decision.
[30:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You did make a decision.
[30:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You made a decision to be in decisive.
[31:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the results, like I said, is you will certainly not go anywhere.
[31:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're come to over that, continue.
[31:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you are not, you have to make a decision.
[31:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Yes or no.
[31:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you make a decision and it's the wrong decision, if it's a one-way door, you can spend some time thinking of it.
[31:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If it's a two-way door, just get up.
[31:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just get up, just do something because you can always reverse it.
[31:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you make the wrong decision, you can make something else.
[31:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now you have feedback, this didn't work.
[31:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why didn't it work?
[31:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Ask questions instead of making statements.
[31:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This didn't work.
[31:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why didn't it work?
[31:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then in the process of answering these questions, now you get clarity to do what you need it to do.
[31:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is not going to happen if you sit there waiting for God to just light up a path in front of you.
[31:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Turn you exactly what to do is not going to happen.
[31:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The way you get clarity is by taking action.
[31:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The path unfolds as you take a step.
[31:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't just stand up there waiting for the entire path to just light up in front of you.
[31:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not going to happen.
[31:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to take a step.
[31:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that is how the rest of the clarity for the rest of the path unfolds.
[32:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So stop waiting for clarity to take action, clarity comes after you start taking action.
[32:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will always learn more in the process than you will researching, then you will sing around waiting for what?
[32:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Get up.
[32:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[32:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the sixth and final thing that I will mention, that has completely changed my life for the better, is I start worrying about how people perceived me.
[32:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I stopped worrying about being seen trying.
[32:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I stopped worrying about what people would think, what they might think, what they might say, how they might criticize me, how they might judge me for, what I'm doing, especially since I have a public platform.
[32:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I was always my ministry, right?
[32:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I stopped worrying about how they would receive me, how they would interpret what I'm saying.
[32:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know why?
[32:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because back to what I said about the external validation, you cannot please everybody.
[33:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And again, it doesn't mean that people are bad or wrong or terrible or anything, but if my path in your path is different.
[33:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why should I care about your opinion on my path?
[33:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't have steps to take on your own path.
[33:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why am I worried about you?
[33:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[33:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, for example, I stopped feeling like I had to explain myself or just defy certain things, especially while I'm in the process of
[33:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Learning and getting clarity on what I want to do, et cetera, especially like with my content and stuff like that.
[33:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me give you an example.
[33:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I know y'all have noticed that I've been a bit inconsistent.
[33:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Mind your business, okay?
[33:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have been podcasting for almost five years now.
[34:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Consistent, I would say, you know, for the first four years, I was consistent every week.
[34:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: At a point in time, sometimes you have to start iterating and evolving and changing the direction.
[34:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, when you have a platform that is so close to you, that's so personal.
[34:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's going to grow with you, right?
[34:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I started this platform before my frontal lobes started for me.
[34:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I wasn't even 25 when I started on podcasting.
[34:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm in my late 20s now.
[34:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, a lot has happened.
[34:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We have gone through several existential crises.
[34:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We have changed.
[34:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The frontal lobes has formed.
[34:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: completely different person.
[34:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it has to evolve with me.
[34:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the thing is, because I talk about stuff that is so personal, like because I talk about like my personal growth journey, the things I'm learning, etc.
[34:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Please understand that I have to learn and process things and get to a place where I'm comfortable sharing what I've learned after I've done the introspection after I've gotten over it after I've healed etc.
[35:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: in order to come on the platform.
[35:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But also, it's very close to me and my platform requires me to grow in order to continue producing content.
[35:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, if I decided to be stagnant in my life, stop learning from my lessons, stop evolving, I would have nothing to talk about.
[35:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[35:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because it relies on me growing and evolving.
[35:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I have learned that sometimes I have to give myself the grace, especially to process certain things because I never want to like come on here and just like trauma dump or like just yab, uselessly, about things I don't really understand, that's why I try to give myself time to process and I always focus on what I learned and what I took from things to help other people who might be in a similar situation.
[35:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I sometimes, sometimes it can be hard for me to be consistent because I'm learning I am growing in my own personal life and then I'm also responsible for releasing episodes to talk about sad growth.
[36:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and sometimes some things require processing, but also as I get older as I evolve, as I you know, as my vision for the platform evolves, sometimes it requires me to like take a step back and think and strategize and really consider like a strategy that can make the show grow with me and since and it's hard to do that when I'm posting in real time,
[36:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I say all of that to say, with the inconsistency, at first it bothered me because I was beating myself up in the background.
[36:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Y'all don't know, it's y'all do now, but I was beating myself up in the background like, you said you would do this and you would have this theme for the month and you would do this content strategy for the month or whatever.
[37:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, let for example in February, we still in February.
[37:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: early in the month when I released those last episodes on self-aligned, et cetera.
[37:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had a whole strategy, a whole list of at least 10 episodes in the pipeline of things that I was going to talk about from what I learned last year.
[37:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A week or so ago, I completely flipped the switch and I was like, I don't feel that to go in that direction anymore.
[37:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I started thinking about the overall vision of the show, et cetera, et cetera.
[37:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So now I had nothing to say.
[37:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I reposted an old episode, just so I won't leave y'all hanging, like two weeks in a row.
[37:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But the thing is it's like in the background I was beating myself up because I'm like No, you said you would do this you have to do this and I realized that that was like
[37:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: a subtle instance of that concern about how I was being perceived publicly, coming up and messing with me.
[38:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because here's a thing.
[38:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes we can be so engrossed in our own world.
[38:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We can be so self-conscious or concerned with ourselves.
[38:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then we think other people are thinking about us the same way that we are.
[38:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like for example, if you're going to like a nice dinner or something or a fancy social event and you get a stain on your shirt or your dress last minute, the whole time you're trying to cover it up and you're trying to wash it out and now you have a wet spot and you're the new circumstance that you look a bit and kept in the situation.
[38:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you think in your mind that everybody's looking at that wet spot and people are thinking, how could you, you know, stain your clothes, you know, do you eat like a child or whatever?
[38:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have all these things going through your mind and you're assuming that people are judging you based on that little wet spot on your shoulder, that little stain.
[38:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But you don't realize that simultaneously, the people around you are doing the same thing about themselves.
[39:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Maybe somebody has gas.
[39:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They could be trying to hold in their hearts and wondering if people are smelling it and they're so self-conscious and they don't want to talk to people in their life and that's what they're going to and you think they're worried about this will stay on your shirt.
[39:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This person's stomach is blowing up right now.
[39:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They know they need to leave.
[39:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They know they need to go home.
[39:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They talking to you and that's all that's on their mind.
[39:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You talking to them and you can turn the bat on that stain.
[39:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I realize it's just never that serious.
[39:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The way we can be so self-conscious sometimes and think that other people are aware of our animal thoughts and aware we're judging and criticizing ourselves and the flaws that we see rarely is ever true, not rarely ever happens.
[39:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I had to let that go when it showed up because it was making me feel like I was being perceived as somebody who was inconsistent or not following through because one thing about me, I take my word very seriously.
[40:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The reason why sometimes it was hard to show up a bit consistent is because I committed to something and then I changed my mind and now I felt pressure to keep doing that same thing because I publicly announced it.
[40:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I have to give myself grace because one thing I realize is that in this phase of my life, as I'm evolving, as I'm growing, I want to make a couple of changes to the show.
[40:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want to, you know, upgrade a few things, improve a few things, and I need to give myself grace to do that.
[40:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And some of the things I don't have clarity on it.
[40:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And like I just said, you get clarity in taking action, you get clarity in experimenting.
[40:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The people you see who are very successful is because they just keep going.
[40:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They move at a rapid speed when they have an idea, because they know that's how they get feedback to eventually get to the thing that works.
[40:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[40:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's how I've been operating in the background, but I think the mistake I've been making is announcing things.
[40:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm not going to announce anything, I'm going to show up.
[40:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, so we're just going to see something some changes, right?
[41:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that bothered me because I'm like, I don't like to give my word and then take it back or go back on it, because I Valued integrity.
[41:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't like to that that's why I rarely give my word.
[41:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I rarely commit to things like explicitly because I know when I give my word I'm locked in
[41:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I had to let that fear of being perceived.
[41:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had to let being so concerned with how I was being perceived, especially while I'm trying to figure things out, I had to let that go.
[41:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it gave me permission to be free, to experiment, to test, to try a lot of things, and to not worry about how I'm being perceived, especially since you might not even be thinking about it at the level that I'm thinking about it because you probably won't even aware.
[41:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: One thing I've realized is, especially when you're building something, when you're working on your goals, when you're evolving, as we all do in life, hopefully, some people don't, some of my business.
[41:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But in order to get the clarity that you need to advance your life, you need to move, you need to experiment, you need to strategize, so you can get the feedback and you can arrive at what works, right?
[42:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And when you have this fear of being perceived, when you are so concerned about being seen trying and testing a bunch of things and some things work and some things don't, and this is doing well, and this is not doing well, and I said I was going to do this, I announced this series, and now I'm changing my mind.
[42:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you allow yourself to be caught up in a certain action, or a certain level of progress, when you allow yourself to be caught up along the way,
[42:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: because you are worried about how other people are perceiving you, testing, so many things.
[42:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're not giving yourself permission to grow.
[42:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're not giving yourself permission to find what will work.
[42:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes you have to just, and I'm learning this, I recently learned this.
[42:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes you just have to shut up.
[42:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[43:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've decided to shut up.
[43:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm only going to announce anything.
[43:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's going to see what I'm doing until I arrive at something that I feel confident in, that I feel certain in, and then I'll be like, by the way, this is the program right now.
[43:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But while I'm in the process of figuring out the program, I'm going to shut up.
[43:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: While you are in the process of figuring out whatever you want to do if you're alive, while you're in the process of building something,
[43:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Shut up.
[43:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Shut up.
[43:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop announcing because sometimes when you announce you feel
[43:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Bound, you feel like you're attached to that thing, you feel obligated to do it, or you allow people to speak down to negativity and to it shut up.
[43:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Shut up, I'm learning to shut up, I'm learning to be quiet.
[43:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop announcing, just figure it out, working in the background, and when you're confident in sitting on something, then you can talk about it, okay?
[43:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But stop letting the fear of being perceived, stop letting the concern of being seen,
[44:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: stop you from finding out what's going to work, okay?
[44:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I went from being a person who was a procrastinator who procrastinated on my podcast for three months, okay, with that extensive Google doc planning everything.
[44:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I went from being that perfectionist, that plan and that procrastinator because that's what it is.
[44:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's called a speed of speed.
[44:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I went from main that person who would spend months researching something before I took action to not being on the other side of the spectrum, where I will move at the speed of light because I understand that's how you get clarity.
[44:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will test immediately.
[44:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will throw things out there to figure out what sticks and use the feedback to iterate and improve.
[44:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and find out what works.
[44:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I completely flipped it and it's because of some of the things that I practically just told you and the reality is there were several identity shifts that I had to make to work on myself internally in order to practically do these things.
[44:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is why I teach it in my program because I understand how all of it is interconnected and based on the identity you carry based on how you see yourself.
[45:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: right.
[45:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I now move at the speed of light and I have to adjust my mindset to facilitate that.
[45:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I can get the results I want instead of having these fears like being perceived and being seen trying that I used to have over here when I was a perfectionist concerned about.
[45:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: making things perfect and getting things right because a guy was a fear of being seen trying and feeling, a fear of what people would think, a fear of people judging me all of that.
[45:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So all these fears were alive and well, being supported over here in this ecosystem, causing me to be a perfectionist.
[45:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I went over here and I started moving at the speed of light because I understood how you get clarity.
[45:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I now have to dismantle the fears over hair of get-beencing, trying, being perceived, being judged, criticized, et cetera, so I can fully embody the identity of this person hair who takes action, who is disciplined, who is not concerned by what people think, right?
[46:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is an example of an identity shift and how the fears and limiting beliefs and limitations of the previous identity that caused you to be the perfectionist that stood in your way has to be shed in order for you to become this version of yourself who is required for the life you want.
[46:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So when I talk about identity shifting, that is what I mean and that is exactly where I teach you how to do in my program.
[46:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because I have made that identity shift that has allowed me to be this person here who no longer procrastinates, who moves at the speed of light, who does what is required, who no longer fears being perceived, seen trying, fail who no longer needs the external validation of that rubbish.
[46:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: there have been things that I have been able to like just speed pass and there have been times where I made decisions that were not quote unquote the right decisions but because I didn't waste time with it because I made it immediately and it was a two two way decision, a two-door decision I was able to reverse it immediately, get the feedback and get back on track and have
[47:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: so many accomplishments, so much progress because I've been moving so fast instead of staying over hair thinking what I really want to make the right decision I don't want to feel what if I make this and I don't want to do it.
[47:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: For those of you who are not new do you remember what I changed the podcast name?
[47:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I changed the podcast name twice that I said, you know what, this is actually not what I want to do.
[47:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I changed it back to security thoughts.
[47:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Nobody remembered it, nobody commented on it.
[47:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I easily reversed it and nobody talks about it now.
[47:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I even forgot I did that.
[47:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I went to that phase quickly instead of being the procrastinator and the perfectionist who wants to make the right decision that I used to be.
[47:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That caused me to be held up for so long on so many things.
[47:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[47:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the reason behind this is because I saw somewhere where I read some, I don't know who I saw this.
[47:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But it was like some successful person who gave this mindset shift that I felt like it unlocked something in my brain and it's something I adopted.
[48:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They said, I want you to imagine that you have X amounts of nose before you get to the, yes, that changes your life.
[48:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you knew that number was 100, how excited would you be to rack up 100 nodes?
[48:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How excited would you be to get those nodes out of the way?
[48:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[48:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now realistically, we do not know how many nodes get to RIS.
[48:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The thing that changes our life, that catapults you into the life that you want.
[48:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever that looks like for you.
[48:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Realistically, we don't know how many nodes it takes.
[48:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We don't know how many attempts it takes, and that number is different for everybody.
[48:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What I have adopted, the way I have applied it in my life is I know there are x amounts of news until I get to the yes.
[48:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I have to run through these ideas.
[48:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have to run through and take action quickly so I can get the feedback I need so I can rack up the nose because what's on the other side is the yes that is going to exponentially change my life.
[49:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you see what I mean?
[49:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is why I move so quickly.
[49:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is the mindset that I adopted.
[49:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have to get the nose out of the way quickly so I can get to that yes.
[49:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Technically, that's something that is like sitting in the background that applies to all of us when all of the people
[49:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: have learned about or adopted that mentality, but that's exactly what's happening in the background.
[49:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a certain amount of times before you try before you get to the yes, because in you're trying, you become the person you need to be to hold on to sustain whatever is at the yes.
[49:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You get the feedback necessary for the clarity.
[49:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: for the thing that is going to lead to the yes, right?
[49:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So the nose are literally a part of the journey that builds you into who you need to be to sustain the yes.
[49:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not failure.
[49:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's simply building blocks.
[49:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's simply obstacles that make you stronger that prepare you for the yes.
[50:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right, you cannot be at the start-in-line, spending months researching on what the perfect next step is.
[50:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to keep going, because here's the thing, let's say you and me, we have 1,000 nodes before we get to our AS.
[50:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'll run through about 500 nodes in like a week.
[50:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How quickly do you think I will get to my yes if I'm operating at that speed because I understand everything I just explained to you about how you get clarity and I understand the process So I'm moving quickly because I know there's a yes, and I'm trying to get to that.
[50:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Yes How quickly do you think I will get to that?
[50:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Yes compared to you, maybe maybe not but if yes, I'm a lot to drag you for a second
[50:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Compared to you, who might be at the starting line saying, I really want to make the right decision.
[51:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's say you want to start a podcast too.
[51:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really want to start a podcast.
[51:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really want to do, OK, let me open Google Docs.
[51:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me start planning.
[51:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me start watching a bunch of podcasts.
[51:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me look at how they produced a show.
[51:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Oh wait, what might do I need?
[51:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All the two months have gone by.
[51:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You still in that Google Doc.
[51:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You still in that Google Doc, right?
[51:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: On month three, you buy the equipment.
[51:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Still haven't recorded an episode, because you're thinking of how to perfectly launch it, how to perfectly set it up, how to be perfect and poised.
[51:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're trying to build a studio.
[51:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You notice I've always recorded podcasts in my apartment.
[51:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You think I'm going to waste time trying to find a perfect studio on all of these things?
[51:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have something to say, I'm going to get it out.
[51:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[51:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But you waste time trying to...
[51:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Find a studio a nice place to record you trying to find a perfect set up in the perfect lighting You're doing all this research on social media trying to figure out, you know, which equipment should you use which camera should I use?
[52:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Do you know what you which is the best one?
[52:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How do I edit?
[52:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Oh, they don't let me go on fiber.
[52:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me try to figure out you know some ways to do this logo Because that's what's going to make the difference my logo
[52:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me figure out the brand colors and it did six months have gone by.
[52:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have nothing to show for it.
[52:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Mind you, mind you.
[52:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You still have a thousand nose to get through before you get to yes.
[52:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a thousand nose to get through before you get that yes that takes your podcast at the next level and you get to like Joe Rogan status you get like a hundred million dollar podcast deal, right?
[52:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Humanely, let's just say that's the goal.
[52:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a thousand nose to get to get through before you end up at that yes that changes your life.
[52:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You let six months go by because you don't have a logo.
[52:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You let six months go by because you don't know what mic to buy.
[53:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You let six months go by because you can't figure out a name for it.
[53:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How fast?
[53:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Even fast.
[53:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How slow?
[53:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How long do you think it will take you to get to that thousandth note?
[53:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How long do you think?
[53:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You might be one of those people in your 50s.
[53:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: when you get to that note, and you're maybe in your mid-20s now, might take you a decade or two decades to get to that yes, because you're wasting so much time on rubbish.
[53:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're wasting so much time on aesthetics.
[53:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have not even developed your communication skills.
[53:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have not even developed your public speaking skills because by the way, to speak online, to have a platform, you need to speak, right?
[53:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've gotten better over the years because, you know, speaking, I haven't been my my portion in the beginning.
[54:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I just thought it off.
[54:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know what I was saying.
[54:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't have no rhyme or rhythm.
[54:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: to like, you know, when I was saying the structure, I was just ringing it, now I'm a little bit more prepared, but I still yeah, right?
[54:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I've gotten better, I've gotten more comfortable.
[54:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My presence in my first video looked like there was somebody behind the camera, pointing a pupue at me, holding me hostage to make the video.
[54:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was so shy, I was so uncomfortable and you can visibly see it, compared to how I show up today.
[54:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know why?
[54:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because I didn't
[54:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A perfect plan, I did it and I did it ugly and I got better with time.
[54:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I let the process of getting all of the nose shape me into the person that is more comfortable to be able to handle the yes that is coming.
[54:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to get up.
[54:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to make a move, right?
[54:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a thousand nose to get to stop wasting time on no number one or no number seven because you don't have the right logo.
[55:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: People don't care about logos.
[55:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It was the last time you paid attention to a logo.
[55:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It was the last time you paid attention to brand colors.
[55:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you were chronically online, like me occasionally, mind your business.
[55:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're scroll through TikTok, maybe even Instagram.
[55:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Have you noticed that some of the videos that go viral are the videos that have like no dramatic editing.
[55:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They have like the standard system fonts and text, right?
[55:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Might be a few seconds long, nothing elaborate and they take off.
[55:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[55:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you're wasting time because you're trying to perfectly edit and put sound effects and do all of these things, right?
[55:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Wasting time when you could be doing it ugly and learning what actually works, which likely isn't the perfectly paired fonts on your content.
[55:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[55:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am having impact without the fancy production.
[56:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have not even learned the proper communication skills.
[56:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't have the production because you're new, okay?
[56:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you don't even have a catalog of content that is out to support these claims that you want to start a podcast.
[56:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you have a thousand notes to get to, but you worry about a level.
[56:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You worried about fonts.
[56:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You worried about a name.
[56:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How often do you think about the names a good at thoughts?
[56:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Has to ever cross your mind probably not?
[56:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I spent.
[56:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I think the three months that it took me to start was because it took me three months to think of a name.
[56:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had the idea I didn't have the name, right?
[56:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How often do you think about the terms you could have thought?
[56:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's my point.
[56:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop wasting time.
[56:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[56:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop wasting time.
[56:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're doing too much and not enough at the same time.
[56:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop wasting time.
[56:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[56:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a thousand notes to get through.
[56:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Start running through some of the things on that list before you don't plan another step.
[57:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Don't research another thing before you take action on the first thing on that long Google Doc.
[57:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, and I just get it together, these are some things that I've learned the hard way of getting us on trying to help you.
[57:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm trying to help you to learn from my mistakes, so you can get through your nose a lot faster than I got through mine.
[57:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, I don't mind helping you accelerate.
[57:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Don't be like me back then, but you can adopt some of the habits that I have now, okay, because they have helped.
[57:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So these are the points.
[57:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: One thing I want to elaborate on is that
[57:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everything that I have been talking about for the past, I think five years or so, especially some of the things that I mentioned in this episode, the reason why I was able to transform into this person, into the version of myself required for that next level, is because of the identity work that I do in the background.
[57:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, when I'm taking time when I'm processing, when the fears and the limiting beliefs of who I used to be start showing up, when I'm being who I need to be, there are things that I actively do to make sure that I am reprogramming my mind and making sure my nervous system is capable of holding and sustaining the level that I'm trying to operate at.
[58:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My next level, right?
[58:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's exactly what I teach you how to do inside of become YouTube.0.
[58:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, if you've ever once had coaching for me, if you know that there are parts of you, limiting beliefs, fears, all these things that I've mentioned.
[58:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If I mentioned anything here that you feel like, it really, it is really in your way of the life you're trying to create, then what's likely required is an identity shift.
[58:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'll give you practical steps, start implementing those things, but sometimes it can be harder to sustain if you don't do the identity work to become the version of yourself that is required, that can dismantle all of the things that stand in your way.
[58:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, so if you want me to quote you through that process, so that you become who is required for your next level, so that you get all these limiting beliefs out of the way, so that when your old programming of being somebody who had a fear of being seen in all of these things, start trying to come back and make you go back to who you used to be, make yourself sabotage, make you start procrastinating,
[59:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: make you feel unsafe in your body, make you feel hesitant, make you get distracted, by changing the strategy, or doubting your capabilities for the things that you want to do.
[59:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All of that happens as a result of your identity, not being aligned with the version of yourself that is required for that ES, for that next level that you're trying to get to.
[59:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that is what I teach you how to do.
[59:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you want me to help you and call you through that, if you want my framework on how to apply this in your life for whatever
[59:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: then go to circle.com slash identity.
[59:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will leave the link and the information in the description.
[59:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really hope this was helpful.
[59:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I hope me getting in your business lights a fire under you because there's more where that came from.
[59:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, but that's all I have to say today and I will talk to you next Sunday.

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