# 217. 4 Steps to Level Up in Your Winter Arc

An episode of [Secluded Thoughts](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1561515782), 12 Oct 2025, 20 min.

Audio: https://audio3.redcircle.com/episodes/425aa6f5-57a2-476c-909b-372214381748/stream.mp3

If you apply this 4-step system in your life, you'll be a different person in 90 days. Course - Step into your Next Level in 90 days: https://secludedthoughts.com/upgrade LET'S STAY CONNECTED! TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@secludedthoughts YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/SecludedThoughtsPodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/secluded.thoughts/ Partnership inquiries: hello@secludedthoughts.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We are officially in the last 90 days of the year, which means expect to see a lot of locking, glow up, winter art videos.
[0:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All geared towards helping you become the best version of yourself or glow up before 2026.
[0:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I love that for you.
[0:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I even give you quick practical tips.
[0:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: every Wednesday in the lock in series to help you become the best version of yourself.
[0:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But today I want to do something a bit different.
[0:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not going to give you unrelated tips.
[0:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to give you a four step system that will actually help you go to your next level.
[0:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever that looks like for you in the next 90 days.
[0:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and you can apply to whatever area of your life that you're trying to improve, whether it's yourself and your mindset and your physical glow up and just personally going to your next level or in your health and fitness if you want to get fit, if you want to gain weight, if you want to lose weight, if you want to be a gym girl, your pilates princess or just eat better, like take care of your body.
[0:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: it will also work in your finances if you want to make more money if you want to start investing more, it will work in your relationships and it will also work in your lifestyle and your career as well.
[1:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I know this because I have been doing this for years unknowingly and it has literally helped me level up all these areas of my life.
[1:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm literally going to give you the blueprint for steps if you follow these four steps you will be a different person in 90 days.
[1:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: so let us get into step number one.
[1:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But first, before I tell you what it is, let me tell you why what you've been doing has not been working.
[1:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What I can bet that you've been doing is, let's say you have this vision board for yourself and then you say you want to accomplish all of these things, you have all of these areas of your life that you want to work on and then you go on, you know, this pursuit of trying to accomplish all of these things at once and then what ends up happening is either some of them fall by the wayside, you don't end up getting to them,
[1:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: or you feel overwhelmed and you struggle to stay consistent in doing the things that you want, or in what's case scenarios you get nothing done at all.
[2:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You get nothing done at all because you feel so overwhelmed by all of the new habits that you have to implement that you just give up.
[2:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel like a failure and you just stop and then you say stuck and you remain stagnant and then you feel hopeless and then you just spiral and then you keep looking for
[2:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: a bunch of YouTube videos and podcast episodes with some type of missing productivity hack or something that you don't know to help you understand why you cannot seem to change your life.
[2:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But don't worry because I'm literally giving you the first step system today, okay?
[2:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So the first step which will correct what you've been doing that's not working is you need to create or determine what is your one move the needle goal.
[2:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I call it your move the needle goal.
[2:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: because it is the one thing that will move the needle in your life.
[2:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What is the one goal that if you were to accomplish this thing, if your life changed in this way in the next 90 days, you would feel the most fulfilled, it will have the most significant impact or outcome on your life.
[3:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me give you some examples.
[3:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's say you at a job you hate right now and your biggest priority is you need to get a new job or you need to start your own business whatever you need to get out of that job and get another one ideally with a pay raise because it's frustrating you that is the number one thing you're concerned about right now career advancement right so if that's your case then that would be your move the needle goal to change your career in the next 90 days.
[3:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because that is the one thing that would have the most significant impact on your life, on your fulfillment, on your happiness, on your mood.
[3:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[3:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you have this big issue, this big thing that you really need to do, and you focus on a physical go up, like getting pretty right now, or maybe going to the gym, these things are great.
[3:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Of course, they will help you.
[3:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They will benefit you, but they are not going to move the needle, because the biggest problem that you want to change will still exist.
[3:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[3:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So all it is is just prioritizing and you're going to choose one thing.
[3:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then when you hit that goal in the next 90 days, then you will move into the second most important thing.
[4:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or the next move, then it will go that would make the most significant difference in your life.
[4:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: 90 days from now.
[4:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: After you hit that initial goal.
[4:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[4:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When we try to do too many things at once, we end up doing nothing at all.
[4:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It feels overwhelming.
[4:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It feels like you're doing too much.
[4:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're trying to take on too many changes.
[4:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it's not that you can't do more than one because you can have like a secondary goal that tags along with your moving needle goal.
[4:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: but you want to make sure that you are prioritizing the one thing that would make the biggest difference because if let's say you have some type of health issue right now unfortunately and you know that the one thing that would make the biggest difference in your life is improving your health by changing your diets and maybe start exercising more and you try to do a physical group or change your career that's cute again they will benefit you but what about your health
[4:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So what is the biggest, what is the most important area of your life that needs the most time on attention from you?
[5:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That if you were to accomplish one goal or change that one area of your life, it would have the biggest impact on your life.
[5:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is what you want to focus on in the next 90 days.
[5:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because if you can get your biggest problem out of the way, it will make you feel a significant sense of accomplishment going into 2026.
[5:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The second step in this process is reprogramming your mind.
[5:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let us use an example of making more money to explain step two.
[5:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right now, the amount of money you make, the states of your finances indicates where your mind is at, with money, how your nervous system feels about money and your subconscious programming around money, right?
[5:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you grew up in a household, let's say you grew up in poverty or you grew up in lack where
[5:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There was never enough when you kept hearing things like money doesn't grow on trees or maybe when you saw people with a lot of money People always said that they were greedy or they're probably doing something evil or they're really bad people If you constantly heard that growing up, that is going to be the subconscious beliefs that you have about money If you always heard that you have to work hard to make money, you are always going to believe you have to run yourself to the ground to try to make more money
[6:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: where you are with your finances right now, represents your programming about money.
[6:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you want to make more money, you need to reprogram your mind before you move forward.
[6:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because what I have learned as I've been diving into neuroscience and the nervous system and quantum physics, very interesting stuff by the way.
[6:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: is that you have your subconscious programming about money or about whatever area of your life that you want to work on and then your nervous system enforces those beliefs.
[6:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, for example, if you believe that by making a lot of money, it will make you greedy, it will make you a bad person, it will make you evil or it will ruin your life because
[6:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: people will try to rob you or people will target you or people will keep asking you for money.
[6:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If that's what you think about making more money, that's how you feel about money.
[7:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Even though you might say, you know what I want to get a new job and I want to get a $20,000 raise or I want to make an extra $1,000 a month or extra $5,000 a month.
[7:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you say that your mind gets excited but your body sees that as a threat, your body sees that as a threat because of all the beliefs that you have about money right now, your nervous system is going to say, well, as soon as you start taking actions,
[7:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: to work towards that goal, your brain is going to send signals to your body that will induce different stress responses, whether it's fight, flight, phone or freeze, that will cause you to self-sabotage, so you do not accomplish that goal.
[7:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why?
[7:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because it sees it as a threat.
[7:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When your nervous system's job is to protect you, right?
[7:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your brain's job is to protect you.
[7:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And
[7:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: familiarity.
[7:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So whatever states you're inconsistently because you're used to that because it's familiar because you know how to handle it, whether it's good or bad, your brain sees that as safety.
[8:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Anytime you try to deviate from that, your brain sees that as a threat.
[8:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So even if it's
[8:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's say you're not in a good position and you're trying to get in to an even better position, your brain is going to see that as a threat.
[8:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So therefore it's going to send these signals, create these stress responses, and it's going to cause you to self-sabotage because the uncertainty associated with those things,
[8:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The uncertainty that's coming up in your body, the tightness you feel in your chest, the tiredness you suddenly feel when you start making progress, the fact that you suddenly don't feel like doing anything after you start changing your habits, the fact that you suddenly feel like you need a nap or you would rather fold long-try or you would rather meal prep and it's time to work on your goals.
[8:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: These are stress responses that your nervous system is inducing because it's perceiving this new thing, this uncertainty, as a threat.
[8:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You want to make money and that's cool, that is a great goal.
[9:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But you have all of these subconscious beliefs that is telling you that making money is greedy.
[9:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It means you're greedy.
[9:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It means you're bad.
[9:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It means if you pass a certain threshold, you'll be one of those evil people who need to pay more taxes and do all of these things.
[9:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So your body is literally saying, oh no, we don't agree with that.
[9:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's sabotage, let's induce, let's make you do whatever we need to make you do.
[9:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you can stay in the safe zone and you wouldn't be one of those greedy people.
[9:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You wouldn't be one of those bad people.
[9:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You wouldn't be targeted because more money equals people will target you, right?
[9:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have all of these subconscious beliefs about it that is causing you to sabotage.
[9:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right, or let's say we even use a different example like let's say you want to glow up in your physical appearance Right, you want to do a physical glow up you want to change your mindset to and you just want to like be a better person in the next 90 days Really take care of yourself pouring to yourself internally and externally Change your mindset have a physical glow up start putting more you know attention in your appearance that type of thing
[10:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But, if you believe that if you look better than it will create unwanted male attention, unwanted male gaze and you will be harassed or somebody might do something terrible to you, now when it's time to put in that effort you cannot bring yourself to do it because your brain, your nervous system is literally sending these signals in your body to prevent you from doing that because you don't some consciously believe that it is safe,
[10:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: to do that.
[10:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel like you will be a target.
[10:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will be subject to harassment or other things if you were to put a lot of effort into how you look.
[10:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or you feel like if you were to improve your mindset and start being more confident that it will lead to you losing your friends or not being able to relate to the people around you and your body, your mind, you associate that with pain subconsciously.
[10:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So your body is saying, oh no, we don't like that.
[11:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's make you self-sabotage.
[11:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is why it's so hard to do some of the things that you genuinely want to do, because you don't subconsciously believe that it is safe.
[11:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you're in your nervous system, recognizes the change as a threat.
[11:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So your mind, your conscious mind is saying, oh, we have this great goal, let's work towards it.
[11:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your subconscious mind, which is really running the show and your nervous system is saying, oh, no, we don't trust this.
[11:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: This is a threat.
[11:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then boom, sabotage.
[11:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You cannot bring yourself to do anything.
[11:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's just not working out.
[11:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: After you select your moving needle goal, you need to reprogram your mind.
[11:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And there are many ways that you can do this and I go more into depth in my course on upgrading your standard.
[11:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But one of the ways that you can do this is by saying affirmations and reassuring yourself when you find yourself in these stress responses, right?
[11:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So start saying those affirmations to reprogram your subconscious mind to believe that it is safe.
[11:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then whenever you feel any type of anxiety or stress or physical tightness or
[11:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you find yourself in no stress responses, where you know you have to do something, but you cannot bring yourself to do it for whatever reason, whether it's flight, flight, freeze or phone, you can reassure yourself that there is no present danger here, there is no threat, right?
[12:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It is okay to make more money.
[12:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I make more money, I can help more people.
[12:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When I make more money, I can have a bigger impact.
[12:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Making more money doesn't make me greedy.
[12:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I mean by reassuring yourself.
[12:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have all these negative programs that are causing you to self sabotage, and you have to rewrite that code in order to get your mind and your body to trust the level that you are trying to go towards.
[12:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that is the second step.
[12:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The third step is reinventing yourself.
[12:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, not that you have your move in your goal and you have started reprogramming your mind.
[12:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're feeling safe to pursue this, right?
[12:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are now going to start reinventing yourself where the gist of this is pretty much acting as if, right?
[12:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, taking on the identity of the version of yourself who has already accomplished that 90-day move in your goal that you set, right?
[13:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, for example, let's say if you want to make more money, if you use the example of making more money
[13:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you make more money, I do it right.
[13:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to have to start managing your money better.
[13:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to have to know where your money is coming from and where it's going, right?
[13:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So things like budgeting and with making more money, then you have to learn how to invest it.
[13:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to learn how to manage the more money that you want to make, right?
[13:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So when you talk about reinventing yourself, you are going to take on the identity of somebody who is more responsible with their money and you're going to start implementing these different habits and things that will help you manage the money that you are trying to call in.
[13:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[13:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or for example, with reinventing yourself when we talk about shifting your identity.
[13:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I remember an example that I heard a long time ago that I really loved.
[13:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I forgot where I heard it.
[13:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I think it was either a quote or part of a motivational video.
[14:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Somebody said that if you identify as a smoker who's trying to quit, you are not going to have any luck with that.
[14:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because every time you identify as a smoker, you are affirming an identity.
[14:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: that doesn't serve you.
[14:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are affirming an identity that contradicts what you are trying to do.
[14:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you do not want to smoke anymore, if you do not want to be a smoker, you cannot identify as a smoker who is trying to quit.
[14:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[14:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to identify as a non-smoker or you are simply you cannot affirm that you are a smoker.
[14:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You cannot keep saying that back and expect to change.
[14:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[14:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So,
[14:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Another example is if you are trying to change your health and fitness, and you want to work out more, you want to get in a gym, you want to have a consistent workout, or maybe you want to be a Pilates princess, or whatever it is you want to do, you cannot be identifying as a lazy person who is trying to go to the gym.
[14:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know how I know because I did that.
[14:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I procrastinated going to the gym for eight years since my freshman year.
[15:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[15:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I think the first time I stepped foot in a gym was maybe two years ago.
[15:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because for the longest time, I used to think it was cool to identify as a lazy person, right?
[15:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I used to think, you know, I used to see myself as a lazy person.
[15:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And when every time I tried to work out, any time I tried to be active, it felt like pulling teeth.
[15:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: because the identity that I am under is a lazy person, a lazy person doesn't work out, a lazy person doesn't go to the gym, a lazy person does the absolute bare minimum or even lower than that, right?
[15:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you're identifying as a lazy person, it's going to be very hard to get yourself to go to the gym, you have to shift your identity, you have to identify as a healthy person, right?
[15:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And let's get into step 4 because it's going to help you reaffirm this new identities.
[15:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It goes hand in hand in reinventing yourself.
[15:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In step 1, step 2, you're deciding on your goal and you're priming yourself to get ready to move into that phase.
[15:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And in step 3 and step 4, that's where the transformation occurs, where you start embodying that version of yourself at the next level.
[16:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So instead of for, I call it upgrading your standard.
[16:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And your standard is basically whatever you accept as normal or average in any area of your life, right?
[16:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: For example, let's say somebody is an Olympic athlete.
[16:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you are an Olympic athlete, your standard for working out and training is going to be significantly different than my standard for working out and exercising.
[16:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: As an Olympic athlete, you might work out every single day, or five days a week, or six days a week, for hours, right?
[16:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That might be the majority of how you spend your days, whereas for me, I'm no Olympic athlete.
[16:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I just, you know, I like a cute little workout, you know, just, you know, get tones, they fit that type of stuff.
[16:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I do a couple days a week about an hour max, right?
[17:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not competing for anything, so I don't have to go as hard as you.
[17:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't want to go as hard as you, because I'm not an Olympic athlete.
[17:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's not what I'm trying to do.
[17:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[17:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, an Olympic athlete standard for working out and being fit is going to be significantly different than mine, right?
[17:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So, that is what I mean by a standard.
[17:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What is your bare minimum?
[17:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What is normal to you?
[17:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What is your average?
[17:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And we're thinking in relation to your move the needle goal, okay?
[17:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Well, let's say your 90-day move the needle goal is around.
[17:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: your physical appearance like a glow up right mindset internal and external glow up an example of upgrading your standard might be saying you know what I am not going to leave the house in the bonnet.
[17:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right, if that's something you do and you're trying to raise that you're not going to read you're not going to leave the house in the body Your bare minimum now is going to be a little bit more put together.
[17:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not saying where he was to trade a jose I'm not saying put on makeup to go to to to publics or random grocery stores or whatever I'm saying at the very least
[18:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will no longer go outside with the bonus, you're going to raise the bare minimum, right?
[18:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you're raising the bar in whatever area of your life that you are trying to improve.
[18:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're upgrading what you tolerate as average.
[18:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're upgrading what you tolerate as the norm, right?
[18:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you're doing certain things that align with that new identity.
[18:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: As you are reinventing yourself right now I go into depth on this entire four-step system in my course called upgrade your standard That is the four phases that I walk you through step by step showing you how to do each of these things and Like I've been explaining it works whether it's your finances that you want to improve whether you want to have a career change
[18:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: whether you want to change your health and fitness or have like a personal glow up like internal and external or lifestyle or relationships, literally you can apply these four steps in whatever area of your life that you want to improve.
[19:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever that next level for you looks like, you can use this framework in your life.
[19:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I've literally been using it in my life for years.
[19:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: before I started it out into the actual process that I use and that's how I've literally been leveling up in multiple areas of my life.
[19:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you want me to literally hold your hand and walk you through the entire process so you can go to your next level in the next 90 days then I will leave some information in the description on my course or you can go to secluded.com slash upgrade.
[19:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that is all I have to say in today's episode and I will talk to you next Sunday.

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