# 220. 7 Things to expect when you decide to become the best version of yourself

An episode of [Secluded Thoughts](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1561515782), 9 Nov 2025, 55 min.

Audio: https://audio3.redcircle.com/episodes/3b37d8ac-8287-4e5b-8615-3996991915d9/stream.mp3

If I knew these things ahead of time it would have saved me a lot of agony and confusion so I'm going to give you a heads up. If you struggle with procrastination and inconsistency when you try to work on your goals, sign up for my free masterclass to learn exactly what's causing it and how to fix it so you can become the best version of yourself ✨ Free masterclass: https://secludedthoughts.com/masterclass Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean, I come on here and I tell you all the truth.
[0:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some of you all have people in your lives who only enable your dysfunction.
[0:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They always tell you to do things that lead to you absolutely ruin in your life.
[0:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They're always empathetic and sympathetic to your poor decisions.
[0:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that calls you to stay back in life.
[0:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some of you don't have a me.
[0:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: in your life, in real life, who will be honest with you until you know what actually that decision you made, it wasn't your best and you need to never do that again.
[0:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to have some higher standards for yourself, you need to get your life together.
[0:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And remember that when the old version of you is like,
[0:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just lose the alarm.
[0:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't need to go to the gym today.
[0:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can create the content tomorrow.
[0:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can post the content tomorrow.
[0:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just eat the little sweet treat after dinner.
[0:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I know you said you wanted to lose weight, but you need something sweet.
[0:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Today was rough.
[0:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Treat yourself with food.
[0:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just remember that the reality, that kind of thinking created is the same one that you are trying to leave.
[0:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In the past, you were saying these affirmations and saying, you know, you believe all these great things about yourself until it was time to make decisions and then your decision reflected that you didn't actually think very highly of yourself.
[1:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: No, no, no, no, because you said you have boundaries now.
[1:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you love yourself now.
[1:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Remember this morning, you were like, well, I love myself.
[1:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I deserve the best things in life.
[1:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, let's see.
[1:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's see, let me send you somebody just like the person that you let play in your face.
[1:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And let's see if you will make a different decision.
[1:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Miss, I love myself now.
[1:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's see how much you love yourself.
[1:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: God does not always give you the answers, and when you don't have answers, the most frustrating thing in the world is when people want answers from you and you don't even have them yourself.
[1:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you want to become the best version of yourself, it is going to require an identity shift, because you cannot just wake up on the side to create a bunch of new routines and habits and goals and all these things, and expect them to stick if you never become the type of person that naturally do these things.
[2:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In fact, if that's what you've been doing, you probably struggle to stay consistent, you probably find yourself procrastinating, you probably find yourself been a little perfectionist, planning months of stuff ahead of time,
[2:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and not actually doing anything, you probably find yourself not even being able to start because you're afraid of your success or you don't actually believe you can do it, you don't think it's possible or you don't think it's worth it, you probably have all of these things going on beneath the surface that's preventing you from being consistent at the things you know you need to do to become the best version of yourself and I have a free masterclass that's going to impact all of that and tell you how to shift your identity but right now today I want to tell you
[2:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The seven things that you should expect when you decide to shift your identity in order to become the best version of yourself, because you will not be able to escape these seven things, and I wish somebody told me beforehand, so I would not be spiraling and losing my mind while I'm in the middle of the process.
[3:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So let's get into the list, but first, hello and welcome back to another episode of the show, I'm your host Sancy and on this podcast we talk about taking accountability for your life to become the best version of yourself.
[3:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Today we're going to be talking about one of the things that I mentioned in my episodes last week, but I'm going to be expounding on it and going in depth a bit more.
[3:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So we're going to talk about shifting your identity and what to expect when you shift your identity.
[3:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But first let me just give you all a quick background story on why I'm even talking about this, what this means, yada yada yada.
[3:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now some of you may or may not know that I started a 90 day glow up or level up journey if you will at the end of September and I've been documenting the process and I know I owe all an updated coming but I've been documenting the process and stepping into the next phase of my life and it took an unexpected turn but it took a turn for the better I believe.
[4:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: because I had my plans and God has his plans and he said so let's just throw your plans away because I have something better for you, right?
[4:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And basically what I've been realizing is that what I've essentially been doing is shifting my identity and becoming the best version of myself except the best version of myself that I am becoming is actually my authentic self.
[4:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me explain that.
[4:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So initially when I planned out, you know, my vision and my 90-day goals and all of these things, I had an idea of who I needed to become to do that because I realized that every other time in my life where I have
[4:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: leveled up or where I changed my life drastically for the better, essentially in reflection I realized that it was always an identity shift that I literally had to adopt the mindset the beliefs, the habits like everything of the version of me at that next level in order for me to bring it to fruition, right?
[5:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And so, I have this idea of what version that I needed to become.
[5:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I was drafting it out and all of these things.
[5:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And God stepped in and he was like, actually, the things you want, which are the things that I already predestined for you to do.
[5:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They don't require you to become anybody crazy.
[5:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They simply require you to be the most authentic version of yourself.
[5:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now, I'm thinking, God, I'm already authentic, right?
[5:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But what I realized is that there's levels to authenticity, right?
[5:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's levels to it because you might be thinking you are being yourself, but then
[5:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When you are required to stretch to do something and all of these fears and maybe even insecurities and doubts and limiting beliefs come up, you realize exactly how much of a shell of yourself you became because of all the experiences that you've had in life.
[6:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So basically what I realized is that in all of the time that I've been spending with God what he has been really trying to
[6:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Get through to me is that the version of you that you need to become the next identity shift needs to be the most authentic version of you So it will require and packing all of the things that cause that version of you to hide every single time that there was something that I wanted to do They were habits I wanted to have that were aligned with the new life that I was creating for myself It always required an identity shift because you cannot take a fish out of water until it to run
[6:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A simple example of this is if you keep telling yourself you're not a morning person, what do you think is going to happen when your alarm goes off in the morning?
[6:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will snooze it, right?
[6:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will act like you don't hear the thing.
[6:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or you will fly a phone or you just complete the ignored or just turn it off, right?
[7:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because you keep telling yourself you're not a morning person.
[7:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So even when you get up, if you happen to get up, you are going to be grumpy the whole time, you're going to be that type of person who says things like, oh, I cannot function without coffee, like you literally have this identity right now that makes mornings so dreadful.
[7:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you don't realize that it's all these beliefs about, you know, being a morning person, all these things, that's what makes it so unbearable.
[7:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a set of programming, a set of beliefs.
[7:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: that create whatever reality or situation that you're going to write now.
[7:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if you want to change it, you have to focus on changing your identity, right?
[7:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I realize that every single time in my life that I tried to pick up on habits, I tried to, when I tried to start working out initially, when I initially tried to start creating content, when I made the podcasts,
[7:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I would always fall off or I wasn't consistent or I was afraid to promote it.
[7:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was afraid to do all of these things because I had not shifted my identity.
[7:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was trying to do these things as that old version of myself.
[8:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That was a friend of being seen.
[8:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That was a friend of being judged and criticized.
[8:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That was a friend of putting myself out there.
[8:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That felt like an imposter for saying things on the internet.
[8:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because I was like, oh, I'm not a therapist.
[8:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not a public speaker.
[8:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't like all of these things.
[8:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had that mindset and that's what I was trying to create content from.
[8:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And as long as I had that mindset, I would always pull myself back.
[8:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I would always fall off every single time the podcast started doing well, when clips would start to go viral, I would literally stop posting because I had not shifted my identity to be able to sustain the growth that I wanted.
[8:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and I realized that there were so many things happening beneath the surface that was holding me back and that's essentially why I'm talking about identity shifting.
[8:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The life we have right now is a result of our identity.
[8:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And there's usually a delated, usually a lag when you're shifting your identity because
[8:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A lot of things are going to fall apart in the in-between, and we'll be talking about all of these things in a second, but essentially the identity that you've had for a while, the way you used to think, if you're changing it right now, you're all identity, you're all programming, you're all beliefs, etc.
[9:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what created the life you have today, right?
[9:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The doubts, the fears, the limiting beliefs, yourself, worth how you saw yourself, what you believed was possible for you.
[9:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: These things created the reality you have today.
[9:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And if you want to change that reality, you have to change your identity.
[9:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You cannot operate as the same version of yourself with limiting beliefs who doesn't believe it's possible, who doesn't believe you can change your situation and then think somehow things are going to change.
[9:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that's how we're going to be talking about shifting your identity.
[9:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So now...
[9:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What I want to touch on specifically are seven things that you should expect when you finally make the decision to shift your identity so you can become the best version of yourself, the most authentic version of yourself and build the life you want.
[9:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So the first thing you can expect is that you will feel more like yourself if you do it right.
[10:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay emphasis on if you do it right.
[10:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me expand.
[10:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I realized, like I said earlier,
[10:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: As I've been shifting my identity for the next level that I'm going to the things that I am preparing for the things God is preparing me for
[10:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He threw out my plans and my process and we've been doing things his way, you know, I don't have a choice, but it's better and I realized that he is actually helping me remove all of the things that prevent me from being my most authentic self.
[10:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He has made it very clear that I need to be 100% myself.
[10:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And not look to the left or look to the right, not try to get on any trends for content or anything like that.
[10:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I have to be 100% myself.
[10:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I don't have an issue being 100% myself, but I think sometimes I get to distracted with...
[11:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: strategizing and certain things, or sometimes I feel burnt out, and I don't have the energy of the capacity.
[11:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And sometimes it's also fear, sometimes it's also limiting beliefs here and there, right?
[11:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like I had a limiting belief that if I don't do certain things, my YouTube channel isn't going to grow.
[11:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I finally just said, you know what?
[11:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't care if it doesn't grow.
[11:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to make the type of content that I want.
[11:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not going to like jump on the trends.
[11:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: right so it's unpacking all of these things and getting rid of them so you can finally just show up as yourself and when you do it right when you shift your identity the right way you will start to feel more like yourself it's going to feel like let's pretend you wouldn't have to show up as somebody that you are not I use content creation as an example a lot because that's what I do but
[11:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever it is, in whatever it is you want to do, even if it's your job, your work, if you want to start a business, if you want to, I don't know, get into our relationship or something.
[12:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever it is, when you do it right, when you shift your identity correctly, for whatever it is, you are trying to create in your life.
[12:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to feel more like yourself.
[12:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you do it right, it will feel like you are being more of yourself.
[12:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like you will feel it energetically.
[12:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not going to feel forced.
[12:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's going to feel like, wow, I really like this thing.
[12:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like for example, last week, the episode I put out last week, when I was done recording that episode,
[12:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Either when I was done recording it or after I published it, I remember thinking to myself, I'm really proud of this episode.
[12:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really liked this episode.
[12:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because it felt like I went back to the conversational, yapping version of myself that I initially started creating content as and it felt so natural.
[12:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It felt so genuine.
[12:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Even though I didn't plan on being as vulnerable as I was in the episode, it still came out of me so naturally, it didn't feel like it was forced, it didn't feel like I was violating my boundaries, it didn't feel like there was any problem with it.
[13:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I put it out and I was like, well, I'm really proud of this episode.
[13:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really enjoyed making this episode.
[13:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's why I was like, you know what, I need to get back to doing more of the things that make me feel really good about what I put out and what I create and let that be the strategy.
[13:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let the authenticity be the strategy and stop trying to hop on trends and different things like that.
[13:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the crazy thing is I've said this before, but I still fell into it,
[13:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not going to tell you again, okay?
[13:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So when you do it right, when you're shifting your identity right, it's not going to feel It's going to feel very natural.
[13:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's going to be a piece to it like energetically.
[13:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel very relaxed.
[13:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You feel very proud of how you're showing up and don't get me wrong.
[14:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not going to be comfortable, right?
[14:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We'll talk about some of the Cons or things that can be perceived as cons, but they aren't really cons.
[14:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But if you do it right, it's not going to feel forced.
[14:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then, you will feel very relaxed, you will feel really good about what you are doing.
[14:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that, I just felt so good after the last episode, I was like, I missed the yapping.
[14:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, I also missed dragging your edges here and there.
[14:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, I'll try to do more of that in the episode.
[14:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It really felt like I was being too nice.
[14:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean, I'm nice, but I'm also very blunt, and I don't like to sugarcoat things.
[14:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I was like, you know what, I feel like you all need me to snatch your edges a bit more.
[14:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I'm sorry I have not been doing that, but we will be back to regular schedule programming.
[14:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[14:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But God was like, stop focusing so much on strategy.
[14:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Stop focusing so much on analytics.
[14:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like, yet these things are important.
[14:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But the most important thing is that you show up as who you are.
[14:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because that's one thing that can never be duplicated.
[15:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean, I come on here and I tell you all the truth.
[15:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some of you all have people in your lives who only enable your dysfunction.
[15:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They always tell you to do things that lead to you absolutely ruin in your life.
[15:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They're always empathetic and sympathetic to your poor decisions.
[15:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that calls you to stay back in life.
[15:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some of you don't have a me.
[15:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In your life, in real life, who will be honest with you until you know what actually that decision you made, it wasn't your best and you need to never do that again.
[15:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to love yourself more.
[15:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to care about yourself more.
[15:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to have some higher standards for yourself.
[15:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to get your life together.
[15:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[15:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some of you don't have somebody in your life like me who's going to tell you that you have people who enable you.
[15:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and so I apologize for not staying consistently on your neck like I used to in a loving way, but you don't have to worry about that anymore, okay?
[15:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's move on to the second point.
[15:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The second point, the second thing you need to expect is that the old you is going to fall apart and it's not going to go down without a fight, okay?
[16:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: She will be raging.
[16:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: She will be losing her mind, she will be begging you to go back to your comfort zone, she will be begging you to play it safe, she will be begging you to do the things you used to do but you need to resist her, okay?
[16:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to resist her because if she was anything worth keeping around, you wouldn't have the desire to change your life, okay?
[16:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You've already
[16:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You've already got to a point where it's like I need to change my life.
[16:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I need to understand that the current life said life that you are trying to change is a result of that identity, that version of you that's raging.
[16:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And you need to remind yourself of the discontent you feel or the dissatisfaction or just the knowing that you need to step into that next level.
[16:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And remember that when the old version of you is like,
[16:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just news the alarm.
[16:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't need to go to the gym today.
[16:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can create the content tomorrow.
[16:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can post the content tomorrow.
[17:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just eat the little sweet treat after dinner.
[17:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I know you said you wanted to lose weight, but you need something sweet.
[17:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Today was rough.
[17:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Treat yourself with food.
[17:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just remember that the reality that kind of thinking created is the same one that you are trying to leave.
[17:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[17:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Remember that when you get the temptations, the old version of you is going to rage because
[17:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: that's how you've been programmed, that's how you've been showing up for the longest time, some of you your whole life, and it's not going to go down without a fight.
[17:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Trust me, that's the reason you procrastinate, that's the reason you're a perfectionist, that's the reason why when it's time-based, you do the things you need to do, all of a sudden now you feel like meal-prepined, now you feel like doing laundry,
[17:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now you want to go for a drive, now you want to scroll, now you want to watch a movie, or now suddenly you need a nap.
[17:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now you need all of, now you now you want to do all of these other things like quite literally anything but the thing you know you need to be doing.
[17:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That old identity is raging.
[17:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not going down without a fight.
[18:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Plus your nervous system is seeing all of the changes as a threat.
[18:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's perceiving it as a threat.
[18:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your body is designed to keep you safe.
[18:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So when you decide to change your life, even if it's for the better, your brain is not hearing none of that.
[18:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's just saying, what is all of this?
[18:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What is all of these new things?
[18:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It perceives it as a threat and it's going to trigger these responses that cause you to procrastinate, that cause you to be inconsistent and fall behind.
[18:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I have an entire free masterclass that will break all of this down for you in under 30 minutes.
[18:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why you struggle to say consistent?
[18:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why you procrastinate?
[18:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why you always follow when you have your goals?
[18:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why every time you want to do something, you can never start because you don't feel like you're worth it.
[18:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't feel like it's possible or you constantly doubt yourself.
[18:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or, maybe you get yourself to start, but then you always fall off.
[18:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then you find yourself in a cycle of starting over and over and over again, but never actually finishing, never actually getting the results you want.
[18:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you want to know why that happens, I'm going to break it down for you on my masterclass and I'm going to tell you what you can do about it and how you can shift your identity.
[19:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you can get out of that loop, right?
[19:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the link will be in the description or you can go to cyclicals.com slash masterclass.
[19:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: your old identity is raging.
[19:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It is not going to go down without a fight which brings me to my third point.
[19:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to be tested.
[19:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to be tested, expect to be tested when you decide to shift your identity.
[19:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you say you want better, you say you want this new life for yourself, you say you want to become the best version of yourself.
[19:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Life is going to be like, all right, let's see, let's see, because in the past you have accepted
[19:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In the past, you have never kept your word to yourself.
[19:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In the past, you were saying these affirmations and saying, you believe all these great things about yourself until it was time to make decisions and then your decisions reflected that you didn't actually think very highly of yourself.
[20:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So life is going to be like,
[20:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's send you a test, right?
[20:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're trying to get a new job right now.
[20:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You just say you want a 20K raise.
[20:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me send you an offer for like a 5K raise and see if you take it.
[20:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Little miss I want 20K.
[20:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me see if you'll take the 5K.
[20:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me see how desperate you are or how serious you are about the things that you say you want.
[20:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: expect to be tested at every single step of the way expect to be tested.
[20:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All that same relationships you say you're working on yourself and you working on your boundaries and you say all these nice affirmations about yourself and you know you're affirming yourself you know you're looking at yourself in the mirror and really all of these nice things offer sticky notes.
[20:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay let me send you somebody very similar to the person who
[20:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and let's see if you'll stay.
[21:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: No, no, no, no, because you said you have boundaries now.
[21:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you love yourself now.
[21:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Remember this morning, you were like, I love myself.
[21:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I deserve the best things in life.
[21:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, let's see.
[21:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's see, let me send you somebody just like the person that you let play in your face.
[21:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And let's see if you will make a different decision.
[21:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Miss, I love myself now.
[21:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's see how much you love yourself.
[21:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: right?
[21:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I saw a video on TikTok earlier today about somebody some guy went in the gym with like a bunch of fast food and kicks and sweets like literally at the gym and he was offering it to people and every single one of them took it.
[21:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like he had huge cheeseburgers and fries and cakes and all of these things and he was just walking up to people in the gym and he was like, do you want some?
[21:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And people are literally working out and they're looking at it and they're looking at it and they're looking at it, every single one of them took a slice of that cake.
[22:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Every single one of them, or most of them, took some fries.
[22:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Y'all are in the gym working out.
[22:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you wanted better.
[22:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you wanted to lose the weight.
[22:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you wanted to gain the weight.
[22:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you were going to get fine this summer or next summer.
[22:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you were going to take care of your health.
[22:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And while you are at the gym, somebody offers you fries and you eat it.
[22:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't actually believe that you can have the things that you say you want.
[22:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Or you don't actually have the self-discipline to not do the things that will rob you of the things that you want.
[22:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Expect to be tested.
[22:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Life will test you.
[22:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: What, at Lemte as soon as you decide that you want better, as soon as you say you want better, the tests will come, the tests will come until you pass them.
[22:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you fail the tests,
[22:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Nothing will change, and then another opportunity will come for another test later down the line.
[23:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to pass the test.
[23:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you said you were going to be taking care of your health, right?
[23:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you say that's one of your goals, the best version of you takes care of your health, the best version of you, cares about what she puts in her body, why are you at McDonald's?
[23:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[23:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why are you at Popeyes?
[23:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why are you accepting every free sample in the mall?
[23:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know how those Chinese restaurants give you all the chicken samples and all of these things?
[23:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why are you accepting every sample?
[23:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know your blood pressure is high.
[23:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know your blood sugar is high.
[23:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why are you eating all of these snacks?
[23:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why are you eating all of this junk?
[23:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you were going to take care of yourself.
[23:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: right?
[23:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You said you weren't going to eat the junk you walked into treat a joe so you see they have all of these punk in suites for the season.
[23:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see they have apple pie.
[23:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see they have all of these things and then you say oh just one more time.
[23:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The test will come.
[23:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I am telling you the test will come and you have to pass the test.
[23:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have to pass the test.
[24:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's like school.
[24:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you don't pass, you will not graduate.
[24:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[24:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So expect the test.
[24:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever it is, you say you want to do.
[24:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever it is, you say you want to change.
[24:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whatever goal you set, you will be tested.
[24:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: to see exactly how much you want that thing.
[24:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Don't be surprised, expect it.
[24:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm telling you, expect it, expect to be tested.
[24:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The fourth thing that you should expect when you decide to shift your identity to become the best version of yourself is that you should expect that things will break.
[24:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I learned this the hard way, I've learned this the hard way many times, but I did not realize it until much further down the line, like in hindsight.
[24:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But now I know, now I expect it, but expect things to break when you decide to shift your identity.
[24:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because just like I mentioned earlier with your old identity dying,
[24:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everything attached to that all identity that cannot be sustained, that cannot flourish, that can't go if you into your next level is going to crumble.
[25:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's going to fall apart.
[25:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: People, places, things, jobs, money, opportunities.
[25:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everything that is not aligned with your next level is going to have to fade away.
[25:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me give you some practical examples to explain why this actually makes sense because it sounds like a car and it sounds like something to
[25:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: fear, but it's actually not because you have to keep in mind the key thing to keep in mind when things start breaking is that things breaking or falling apart or falling away is simply making room for the things that are aligned with your new identity, with the best version of yourself, the most authentic version of yourself, the version that God created you to be.
[25:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[25:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: For example, let's say God wants you to move to a new city or a new country.
[25:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[25:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You cannot be surprised when things start falling apart in a state where you currently live.
[26:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's say if you have a job right now and they are not providing you with the opportunity to relocate.
[26:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you know that you have to move to a different city,
[26:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Obviously, at some point, you are going to have to leave the job, right?
[26:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if God forbid, you wake up and you see that you're terminated, obviously, that can be a very traumatic thing that can leave you feeling, you know, a lot of grief that can leave you feeling devastated, but understand that if it's something that cannot go if you into your new identity, it's going to have to fall apart.
[26:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can be proactive and get rid of it.
[26:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you just leave it to itself, right?
[26:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Feel how you feel about losing the job or that season of your life being over, but understand that it's creating space, it's giving you the capacity for whatever it is you have to do in that new city or that new country, right?
[27:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Another example, a common one is with relationships, right?
[27:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the best way I can explain it because I feel like everybody will be able to relate to this is bear with me.
[27:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want you to think about your ex.
[27:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm sorry, if you had a bad experience, but I want you to think about your ex, who you were in that relationship, where it was going, and everything that happened.
[27:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There was probably some point in your life when you realize this person is not the person that you wanted to be with or not the person that could grow with you into your new season or maybe it was toxic or whatever happened.
[27:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: When that relationship was over,
[27:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It probably hurt your probably devastated, maybe you were relieved, whatever, but at the end of the day, whether you're in a relationship now or not, you can see in hindsight that that was not meant for you, right?
[27:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Maybe after that you made a list or a description of the type of person that you wanted to be with, and maybe you're with that person right now.
[28:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: How could you have gotten that person if you were still with the last one?
[28:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[28:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So it had to fall apart.
[28:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It had to break.
[28:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes things break because we refuse to get rid of it.
[28:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We refuse to be proactive about it.
[28:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: we see the red flags, we see the signs, we see all of these concerns, but we don't do anything about it for whatever reason, and so it's going to have to break.
[28:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's going to have to break.
[28:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It will be hard when it breaks at first, but in the end, I'm sure you're grateful.
[28:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: In the end, I'm sure your glad things did not work out.
[28:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But look at how distraught you probably were when you had to let go of it in the moment, but now you see that it was for the best, right?
[28:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Whether you're with somebody or not, you can see that that situation ending was actually to your benefit.
[28:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So things are going to break and it might hurt in the present moment, but these things have to break.
[28:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They have to fall away because they cannot go with you into your next level.
[29:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They do not align with your new identity.
[29:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: genuine, open, you can be vulnerable with them, you'll show up for each other like just the best as friends in the entire world, the ones who do not fit the description have to fall away.
[29:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The ones that are not genuine have to fall away.
[29:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Anything that does not align with the new life that you are trying to create for yourself, it has to fall away.
[29:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's going to break, expect it to break, but understand that you can feel however you want to
[29:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: but it's simply creating the capacity for you to have the things that are better aligned with your new identity, with the best version of yourself.
[29:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The fifth thing to expect is that you will be misunderstood, okay, and you might even look like you're acting funny to some people.
[29:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have been through my fair share of misunderstandings or feeling misunderstood by people in my life.
[30:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the crazy thing is that while I was being misunderstood, I also did not have the understanding myself.
[30:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I also did not have the understanding myself.
[30:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There were times where it would have made sense for me to communicate certain things with people, but I did not have the details to be able to communicate.
[30:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes when God is doing something in your life,
[30:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He does not tell you, he does not give you the details, he does not tell you why he wants you to make certain decisions that do not make sense to you, that do not make sense to any logical human mind.
[30:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He does not tell you why he wants you to do these things that look like
[30:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They will bear no fruit.
[30:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He does not tell you why he wants you to wait when you don't see any signs.
[30:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He does not tell you why he wants you to be patient even though you've been waiting for a very long time.
[30:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Even though you've been patient, even though your patience is running thin, he does not tell you why he wants you to keep waiting.
[31:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: God does not always give you the answers, and when you don't have answers, the most frustrating thing in the world is when people want answers from you, and you don't even have them yourself.
[31:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like how am I supposed to tell you that I'm literally just walking my faith and not by side right now?
[31:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It does not make sense to me, but the instructions that I have been given is to be still and know.
[31:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Do I know?
[31:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: No.
[31:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I know the one who knows.
[31:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And that's all I have.
[31:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So there have been many times in my life where I think I've been misunderstood, but I also did not have the understanding myself.
[31:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I had to be comfortable with that.
[31:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had to sit with that and not have a response or not even try to give a response because nothing I said would have sufficed.
[31:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right, there will be periods where God will have you in a season that does not make sense to you.
[32:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's alone other people and it will be very frustrating because you do not have the answers.
[32:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to be misunderstood.
[32:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You yourself are misunderstanding what is going on.
[32:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's just a bunch of misunderstandings and confusion.
[32:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[32:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: One thing I have realized, I have been through many seasons in my life where I have
[32:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Shift in my identity where I have leveled up what I have stepped into new phases, new goals, new levels.
[32:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I have done that many times in my life.
[32:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And what I can tell you is there was always a period before things worked out where
[32:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Honestly, I don't know, that's the best way I could explain it, I don't know, like just shrug like I'm alive, you know, I'm alive, I'm here, I'm breathing, I'm grateful, that's all I have for you today.
[32:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There have been many seasons where that's all I have.
[33:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's the information that I have.
[33:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I'm running on today So if you find yourself in that season where it feels like God is Being secretive.
[33:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: He's not telling you what you need to know to feel comfortable to feel at peace And he's asking you to trust him and have peace anyway, even though you don't know what is going on He told you to take his hand and he took your hand and he just started eating
[33:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: yanking you and running and you just hanging on for dear life and he's chilling and your panicking and he's like, just be still.
[33:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If your life looks like that, I want you to know that that is normal, okay?
[33:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is normal.
[33:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There will be a period where you will be misunderstood.
[33:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will misunderstand God.
[33:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There will be no kind of understanding about anything, okay?
[33:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Expect that.
[33:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It is normal.
[33:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are literally shifting your identity.
[33:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your old self is dying.
[34:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your old world is falling apart.
[34:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're seeing all these tests.
[34:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Things are literally shifting because your life is about to change and there comes a point where all you can do is have faith.
[34:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All you can do is have faith and just be like, you know what?
[34:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: At this point, I have nothing left to give, I have nothing left to give, I have nothing else, I'm just going to chill, it is what it is, right?
[34:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're at that season, just understand that it's normal, okay?
[34:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: don't panic, it's normal, expect it, actually expect it, okay?
[34:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because what I can tell you in hindsight, with all of the other shifts that I've gone through, as HIFTS, I don't know if you caught that, but with all of the other shifts that I've gone through,
[34:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Every single time, after I hung in there and I made it to the other side, it got to a point where things were so great.
[34:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Things were so amazing on the other side of that that I even forgot what it was like to be confused.
[35:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I forgot what it was like to struggle in that season.
[35:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There have been so many seasons in my life that
[35:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: was marked by struggle, but the time that came after it literally made me forget it.
[35:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes you're only goal, you're only objective with walking with God is just standing.
[35:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's just surviving.
[35:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Sometimes, and don't strike me down Lord, but sometimes it feels like God is the weapon form against you.
[35:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Don't strike me down Lord, I know it's for, I know it's for my good, I know it's for the best, but sometimes it feels like you trust in me with more than I can handle.
[35:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then the only reason I know I can handle it is because I survive at the end.
[35:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But at the same time it's like, please don't enlist me in your army next time around.
[35:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, like, I'm just being real.
[35:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm very honest with God.
[35:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And he's very honest with me.
[35:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and I don't always like it, but we have an honest relationship, okay?
[35:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But sometimes honestly, sometimes it feels like either God is the weapon formed against you, or actually it feels like he's allowing the weapons formed against you to prosper, to thrive, to recruit some more, to just tear you apart.
[36:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it's like, be still and know and I'm just like, you know what?
[36:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Lord, I don't like this season.
[36:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will talk to you tomorrow.
[36:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Onto number six, the next thing you should expect is that you are going to face your fears.
[36:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[36:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are actually going to have to face your fears.
[36:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean, be specific.
[36:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to have to face your fears.
[36:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[36:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't have a choice.
[36:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have a choice, but the choice is really choosing between your old identity and again, the same reality that you're trying to escape or taking the risk, feeling discomfort for a while and then getting everything you want on the other side of it.
[36:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[36:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So ideally, you're going to have to face your fears.
[36:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[36:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to say you're going to have to face your fears because again, you probably have people in your life who will encourage you to do nothing.
[36:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not one of those people, okay?
[36:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you are going to have to face your fears.
[36:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So let's talk about it.
[37:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I'll use when I just started creating a podcast to give you an example.
[37:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So when I just started my podcast for those of you who don't know, I started, but four years ago, 2021.
[37:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I, I, I podcasted anonymously.
[37:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did not tell anybody, right?
[37:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did not tell anybody.
[37:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did not promote it.
[37:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: My thumbnail.
[37:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It was audio first before I made the YouTube channel and started posting videos.
[37:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But when it was audio only, the thumbnail was just a text.
[37:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It wasn't my face.
[37:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The name, you know, when you put the name of the person, the host, the name was the name of the podcast.
[37:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did it completely anonymously for, I think, about a year or eight months because I was so afraid.
[37:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was that afraid.
[37:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was that afraid, but I got past the point where I realized that God wasn't playing with me with my disobedience and my procrastination, my research, my perfectionism.
[37:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And he was like, do you want me to strike you down?
[37:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was like, no, he was like, make the podcast.
[38:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was like, cool, but I'm not going to put my name on it.
[38:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I did it like that for I think like eight months.
[38:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then at the end of the eight months, that's when I finally put my face on it.
[38:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I shared it.
[38:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And then afterwards, I created the YouTube channel.
[38:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I've kept the video up just in case anybody wanted to see what it's like when you just start off.
[38:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because if I'm going to come on here dragging you every week,
[38:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: so that you can do what you need to do to become the best version of yourself.
[38:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not going to hide when it was hard for me.
[38:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So my very first YouTube video is still up and it's literally me talking about how I'm afraid to put myself out there.
[38:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was in my very first apartment.
[38:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had all of this clunky equipment.
[38:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't know what I was doing, but I was doing something and I spent the whole episode talking about how I did not actually want to make the episode.
[38:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did not actually want to
[38:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Create content because I was afraid of being seen.
[38:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did not want to put myself out there You can see the difference in mannerisms.
[39:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can see the difference in communication.
[39:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I was very uncomfortable I was not confident whatsoever.
[39:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mean I was literally just weighing in it for the sake of being obedient because God wasn't playing with me
[39:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[39:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I kept it up so that people can see the difference between how I show up now, how I'm more confident now, how I feel more comfortable doing it now because I kept going versus when I just started.
[39:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And my first couple of audio only episodes were even worse and don't go listen to it because I'll block you.
[39:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I digress, you are going to have to face your fears.
[39:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me tell you something.
[39:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are not special.
[39:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you think you are the only one if fears you are not special.
[39:45] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[39:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everybody has fears.
[39:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everybody was put on earth for a reason and a lot of people will never figure out that reason.
[39:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A lot of people will never live the life they were created to live because they will let their fears dictate their actions and constant to always stay in their comfort zone.
[40:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Fortunately for you, I am not going to let you be one of those people.
[40:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now I'm not going to force you to do it.
[40:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But understand that if you don't, you're going to be one of those people.
[40:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm not going to want more for you than you want for yourself.
[40:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm just letting you know what to expect.
[40:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I'm going to tell it to you like it is.
[40:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to be real with you.
[40:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But some people will never live the life they want.
[40:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They will never reach their full potential because they let their fears dictate their actions.
[40:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Their fears, their excuses, their limiting beliefs.
[40:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But like I said, you are not going to be one of those people.
[40:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay?
[40:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Literally everything you want is on the other side of fear.
[40:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I would not be here today making content, I would not be doing what I'm doing right now if I did not get over that fear.
[40:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I did it imperfectly.
[40:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I didn't show up on day one confidently.
[40:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I started anonymous until I could work my way up to putting my face out there, right?
[40:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I did it.
[40:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I did it imperfectly until I felt more comfortable.
[40:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I faced the fear.
[40:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And one thing I always challenge myself to do is whatever I'm afraid of, anything I want to do and I feel like a strong tension or a fear holding me back, I'm going to force myself to do it.
[41:09] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm going to force myself to do it because I am not going to be one of those people who let fear dictate my life.
[41:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I think two episodes back, I talked more about this on the episode, I think it's called Stop Letting Your Life Pass You By.
[41:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The best things in life, all these things that we want that we fantasize about, they are strategically placed on the other side of fear.
[41:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They are strategically placed on the other side of hardship.
[41:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They are strategically placed on the other side of an unknown discipline streak.
[41:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: that if you hit that streak, it's going to work.
[41:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Meaning, and I think I mentioned this in one of my previous newsletters, but the way I look at life right now, the way I look at the things that I want to do the way I look at my goals is like this.
[41:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let's say you want to start a YouTube channel, right?
[41:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want you to imagine that there is a specific number of videos that you have to create for that channel to blow up overnight and get a million subscribers.
[42:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And let's say that specific number is 97.
[42:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So let's say on your 97th video.
[42:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: From zero to 96, you could be posting videos and getting under five views on them.
[42:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You can be posting videos and getting under 200, 300 views on them, right?
[42:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And feeling like a failure, but because you decided to face the fear, because you did not let the low views or the,
[42:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: lack of engagement or being judged and criticized and maybe even laughed at for doing something for so long and not seeing results because you did not let any of these things get to you and you made it to number 97 and you hit that streak
[42:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now all of a sudden you go from having say 700 subscribers to 30,000 overnight.
[42:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: One of your videos goes viral.
[43:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Somebody shares it something happens.
[43:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You hit that magic number and you literally blow up overnight, quote unquote.
[43:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like people like to say because they don't really see the 96 videos.
[43:11] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They came at 97 and it looks like, oh my gosh, you just blew up overnight.
[43:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: on your 97th video though.
[43:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[43:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's how I look at things in last.
[43:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I'm always thinking there is a number.
[43:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: There's a number of times that if I do this, if I hit this streak, things are going to blow up.
[43:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I don't know what the number is, but I have to keep going because once I hit that number,
[43:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Everything that I want will be on the other side and that's how you need to think about it That's how you need to think about it when it comes to facing your fears doing the things that you really want to do So whatever it is you want to do understand that in the beginning the fears will be your first obstacle The fears in the limiting beliefs all the negative self talk all these things which shape your identity right
[43:54] \[SPEAKER_00\]: which is why you have to shift your identity, you have to face those fears.
[43:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's a part of shifting your identity, right?
[44:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's a part of the process.
[44:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And in my free masterclass, I break all of that down for you, right?
[44:06] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But when you face your fears, you get through the first obstacle, and then you face a limiting beliefs, and then you keep doing it, and you're consistent, and you hit that magic number, and everything works out.
[44:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But it starts with facing your fears.
[44:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have no choice.
[44:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Do you hear me?
[44:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have no choice.
[44:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: something that is tied to the life they want to live, your fear might not be the fear of being seen, but you also might not be called to have a public platform or a podcast like I have, your fears will always be strategically aligned with the things that you are called to do.
[44:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You see what I mean?
[44:43] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You will always be attacked in the area that you need to overcome to do the things that God created you to do.
[44:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if God wants you to be a public speaker, a content creator or something, you likely have a fear of being seen.
[44:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you likely have a fear of putting yourself out there.
[45:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You likely have been strategically attacked to the point where you have been silenced or felt like your voice did not matter.
[45:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why?
[45:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because God wants to use it.
[45:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So that's where the enemy attacked you, right?
[45:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you're a call to a position of leadership, you have likely been
[45:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: face with dealing with all types of things people put in you down people trying to discourage you and tell you you're not good enough.
[45:22] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Just constantly speaking down on you trying to discourage your ruin yourself confidence, ruin yourself, I steam all these things because you are born to lead.
[45:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So you are going to be broken down strategically and you're going to have fears around these things because you are called to lead.
[45:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If God called you to be a therapist, if God called you to help people like that, you have likely had a life where you need therapy yourself.
[45:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you have likely had a life that tried to make you feel completely worthless.
[45:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So now when you have to face your fears, when now when God calls you to go to school, to get the degree, your psychology degree, or whatever you need to be the type of therapist you want to have.
[45:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Now all of a sudden you're doubting it, you feel worthless.
[46:02] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You don't feel like you can do it.
[46:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But all of that was strategic.
[46:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to be attacked in the area that God needs to use.
[46:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are going to be attacked in the area that makes you minimize your gift.
[46:14] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That makes you shrink.
[46:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had the fear of being seen because I had to be on a public platform.
[46:18] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had to put myself out there.
[46:20] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I had to create content.
[46:21] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You might not have that fear.
[46:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But...
[46:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: it you have a fear associated with what God is calling you to do.
[46:27] \[SPEAKER_00\]: We all have fears, but fears that are strategically aligned with the things we want to do because they are designed to hold us back, right?
[46:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I believe I'm assuming that they will all feel equally or proportionate the heavy to us.
[46:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Even if it's different fears, because it's all based on what we are called to do.
[46:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're not unique in the fact that you have a fear of this or a fear of that.
[46:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Every single person has fears that they have to face to do the things that they want to do.
[46:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But you will never do those things, you will never have those things if you do not face those fears.
[46:59] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And as somebody who forces myself to face my fears, as somebody who you can actively see on the other side of facing my fear of being seen, I can tell you when I see people facing their fears, I never judged them, I never laughed at them, I never put them down, I always encouraged them because I know what it's like.
[47:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So if you are facing your fears and you are just starting something, doing something that
[47:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: God has called you to do, and people are making fun of you or they're laughing at you.
[47:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: These are likely people who have never faced their fears and who never will.
[47:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And misery loves companies so all of them are at the bottom of laughing at you.
[47:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Okay, people who are committed to becoming the best version of themselves, people who are committed to living life to their fullest potential, people who are committed to doing better, people who face their fears, people who try never make fun of people when they see them trying.
[47:50] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will never make fun of somebody's humble beginnings.
[47:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: at the thing that they genuinely want to do because I know what that's like and I have been there.
[47:58] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will always support them, I will always encourage them because I know what that is like.
[48:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I will always push them to do it.
[48:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The people you are concerned about that will have the opposite reaction, other people you actually don't need to be thinking about, okay?
[48:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Leave them to themselves because a few years from now you will have the last laugh.
[48:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: A few years from now, you will realize that the only reason they made fun of you is because they knew that you were holding up a mirror to them and you were showing them that you were doing things that they were not brave enough to do and that they had an issue with that and that's not your problem.
[48:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And the final thing on our list is something positive, something that will bring you relief.
[48:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And it's that your habits and your new routines and the new goals and all these things that you want to implement, they are going to be significantly easier to do.
[48:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Let me explain what that means.
[48:47] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I mentioned earlier how I always procrastinated taking care of my health, working out, you know, doing all these things.
[48:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: and now if I don't do it, I feel it.
[48:57] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It feels like it's not me to not exercise.
[49:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not me to not take care of my health, right?
[49:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I'm cognizant of those things, whereas they used to be my norm.
[49:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But when I shifted my identity and I started seeing myself as a healthy person,
[49:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: person, these things just became a natural part of my life.
[49:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: They did not feel forced anymore.
[49:19] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It didn't feel like pulling teeth to get myself to go work out.
[49:23] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It just felt like devotion.
[49:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It felt like I loved myself.
[49:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It felt like that's what I do because I love myself.
[49:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want to take care of myself.
[49:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I want to look in the mirror and see my abs and act the fool.
[49:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You know, like it wasn't forced anymore.
[49:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It didn't seem hard to do anymore because when you shift your identity, all the things
[49:42] \[SPEAKER_00\]: whether it's posting, working out, eating healthy, honoring your boundaries, whatever area of your life you're working on, whatever that ties to your new identity.
[49:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All of the habits and routines and things that you have been trying to do, it's going to be significant the easier to do them when you shift your identity and just simply become the type of person who does it.
[50:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because now you operate from a place of that's just who I am and that's what I do.
[50:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Like for example, I exercise, you exercise,
[50:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But I exercise with use me as an example, but if we have to put me up against like an Olympic athlete You don't have to guess who's putting in more work.
[50:24] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Why?
[50:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Because when somebody is an athlete when they see themselves as an athlete when they are an athlete
[50:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Working out, training all of these things, that's a part of the identity.
[50:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Therefore, it's just normal.
[50:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's what I do.
[50:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I work out X hours a day.
[50:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I remember some time ago I was reading up on Michael Phelps and how he was an absolute maniac with how much he trained.
[50:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I was like,
[50:48] \[SPEAKER_00\]: it makes sense because he's an Olympic athlete, right?
[50:51] \[SPEAKER_00\]: His whole, that was his identity.
[50:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So his whole life revolved around it, right?
[50:56] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Versus if you have to compare the average person to that, they are not going as hard as Michael Phelps, because if they swim or even if we think of a different sport or different activity, if they go to the gym, they go to the gym because, you know, they want to be healthy, they want to work out, they want to, you know, get some muscle definition
[51:16] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The work ethic is different when you're an athlete versus when you're just taking care of yourself or you're a regular gym bro or gym rap whatever, right?
[51:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I know I call yourself a rap but I've heard the term before.
[51:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The work ethic is completely different because the identity is different.
[51:34] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Therefore the life is different.
[51:36] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The lifestyle is different.
[51:37] \[SPEAKER_00\]: The requirements are different.
[51:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And even though Michael felt when a hundred times harder than the average person,
[51:44] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It probably did not seem far-fetched or like too much for him because that was his identity, right?
[51:52] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So it's just normal.
[51:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It came with the territory.
[51:55] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Your identity plays a huge role in whether or not you're able to be consistent in the things that you want to do.
[52:01] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You might be saying, oh, I really want to
[52:03] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Take care of my health.
[52:04] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really want to work out.
[52:05] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really want to start a business.
[52:07] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really want to start a clothing brand.
[52:08] \[SPEAKER_00\]: I really want to start posting content.
[52:10] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But if you just try to do the thing without shifting into the identity of the person who naturally does that, it will never feel normal.
[52:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It will always feel forced because there are a lot of things going on beneath the surface that are preventing you from actually being consistent at these things.
[52:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's why you keep falling off.
[52:26] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's why you cannot stay consistent.
[52:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's why you cannot even start.
[52:30] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That's why you have
[52:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Months of research with no action, right?
[52:35] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have step 1 to 20 planned out.
[52:38] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You have not even thought about taking step 1.
[52:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Tomorrow you're going to start with steps 21 to 25.
[52:46] \[SPEAKER_00\]: All of these things is because you have no shifted your identity.
[52:49] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You're trying to simply show up as somebody that you are not.
[52:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And I know a lot of times people say, oh, you know, just do the thing and then you can do the thing and then that will just change your life if you stick to it.
[53:00] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But it's very hard to stick to the things that you don't believe you are worth that you have all these limiting beliefs against your entire identity contradicts that, your speech, like everything, every part of you contradicts.
[53:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: the things that you want to do.
[53:15] \[SPEAKER_00\]: If you think you can just remain as the version you are and just suddenly wake up one day and decide you want to switch your habits and switch your schedule and do all of these things is not going to work.
[53:25] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You are not going to be able to sustain it if you even start.
[53:28] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Right?
[53:29] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Some of you have enough research.
[53:31] \[SPEAKER_00\]: You need to look up a single
[53:33] \[SPEAKER_00\]: Again, I have a whole episode on perfectionism which will let you know exactly why you're wasting time and what to do about it.
[53:39] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But what I will say to you instead is that until you shift your identity, you are not going to be able to sustain all the new things that you are doing because you don't actually believe that you can do it, you don't believe in yourself, you don't believe your worth it.
[53:53] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you look, you want it to not work out because you're afraid of your own success, you're afraid of all these things, like you have all these things preventing you from being the best version of yourself and you think if you just create a new routine or a new schedule, it will just magically disappear and you will just wake up one day as that version of yourself.
[54:12] \[SPEAKER_00\]: It's not going to happen.
[54:13] \[SPEAKER_00\]: you have to shift your identity and then change the actions.
[54:17] \[SPEAKER_00\]: And like I said, I have a free masterclass teaching you exactly all of the things that are going on beneath the surface that are preventing you from being consistent and causing you to procrastinate and you could go to cyclitots.com slash masterclass to watch it.
[54:32] \[SPEAKER_00\]: But these are the seven things that you need to expect when you decide to shift your identity to become the best version of yourself.
[54:40] \[SPEAKER_00\]: So I hope that was helpful.
[54:41] \[SPEAKER_00\]: That is all I have to say today and I will talk to you next Sunday.

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