# The Silver Thread Between Body and Soul with Chrystal Rae

An episode of [Next Level Soul Podcast with Alex Ferrari](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1560904383), 13 Oct 2026, 1 h 59 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75632348/nls_734.mp3

What if every choice you make connects you to a different version of your life? Near-death experiencer Chrystal Rae shares the extraordinary experience she says unfolded after the vehicle she was riding in was struck, sent over an 80-foot cliff, and flipped multiple times. Chrystal describes leaving her body, entering a luminous presence, experiencing a life review, and being shown different possible timelines—including one in which she did not return.But what stayed with Chrystal wasn't simply what she saw beyond the body. During her life review, she says one seemingly small act of kindness was revealed as one of the most meaningful things she had ever done because of the ripple it created in another person's life. She also explores free will, parallel timelines, unconditional love, suffering, presence, and why she believes our deepest purpose may be far simpler than we imagine: to experience this human life fully and leave behind a legacy of love. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/next-level-soul-podcast-with-alex-ferrari--4858435/support. Take your spiritual journey to the next level with Next Level Soul TV — our dedicated streaming home for conscious storytelling and soulful transformation. Experience exclusive programs, original series, movies, tv shows, workshops, audiobooks, meditations, and a growing library of inspiring content created to elevate, heal, and awaken. Begin your membership or explore our free titles here: https://www.nextlevelsoul.tv

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Welcome to Next Level Soul, the place where we deep
[0:03] Speaker 1: dive into the mysteries of existence, uncover hidden layers of consciousness,
[0:07] Speaker 1: and explore the journey of the soul. I'm your host,
[0:11] Speaker 1: Alex Ferrari, and every week we sit down with the
[0:13] Speaker 1: world's leading spiritual teachers, mystics, scientists, and truth seekers to
[0:18] Speaker 1: illuminate the path towards awakening. Here we ask questions that
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[0:37] Speaker 1: space to remember who you really are. So take a
[0:40] Speaker 1: deep breath, open your mind, and prepare to step into
[0:45] Speaker 1: your next level soul. Now, if you're ready to take
[0:48] Speaker 1: your spiritual journey to the next level, explore Next Level
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[1:09] Speaker 1: from your highest potential. Start your journey today at nextlevelsoul.tv.
[1:16] Speaker 1: The views, opinions, and statements expressed by our guests are
[1:19] Speaker 1: their own and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs or
[1:22] Speaker 1: positions of Next Level Soul, its host, or any of
[1:25] Speaker 1: the companies they represent. Now let's dive into today's episode.
[1:31] Speaker 1: I'd like to welcome to the show Crystal Ray. How
[1:33] Speaker 1: you doing, Crystal?
[1:34] Speaker 3: Hi, Alex. How are you? Thank you for having me.
[1:36] Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming down to Next Level
[1:37] Speaker 1: Soul Studios. I appreciate it.
[1:39] Speaker 3: Nice to be here.
[1:40] Speaker 1: You have a very interesting story.
[1:42] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[1:44] Speaker 1: To say the least. You've died a few times and
[1:48] Speaker 1: you've come back, obviously. But before we get into your
[1:50] Speaker 1: near-death experiences, and I know the first one you had
[1:53] Speaker 1: was very early on in your life. I like to
[1:57] Speaker 1: ask you, I always like to ask, what was your
[1:58] Speaker 1: life like prior? But you were five, if I'm not mistaken, correct?
[2:02] Speaker 3: Yeah, I was very young.
[2:03] Speaker 1: Very young. So can you tell us a little bit
[2:05] Speaker 1: about who you were, how you were raised, the environment,
[2:10] Speaker 1: the caretakers that you came into, and how that shaped
[2:15] Speaker 1: getting to your first near-death experience?
[2:16] Speaker 3: Okay. Thank you for asking that because I think My
[2:19] Speaker 3: future near-death experience, it has to have this background. So
[2:22] Speaker 3: I was raised in what I call like a functional dysfunctional,
[2:26] Speaker 3: or the average American family.
[2:27] Speaker 1: You were basically the average American.
[2:29] Speaker 3: I mean, maybe a little less average because my mom
[2:31] Speaker 3: was a pretty severe alcoholic and my dad was basically absent.
[2:35] Speaker 3: And my mom was a pretty, she wasn't a happy drunk.
[2:39] Speaker 3: She was a very kind of violent. And really, we
[2:42] Speaker 3: grew up with a lot of physical abuse, but what
[2:45] Speaker 3: really was hard was the mental side. Like, you know,
[2:48] Speaker 3: just not feeling- The mental trauma. Yeah, like not feeling
[2:51] Speaker 3: loved and not feeling cared for and not feeling like
[2:54] Speaker 3: your primary caretaker. So I was always, you know, when
[2:58] Speaker 3: you grow up in that kind of home, you're always
[3:00] Speaker 3: trying to, you know, well, you become a little adult.
[3:04] Speaker 3: And I was an adult.
[3:05] Speaker 1: Parentified, yeah.
[3:06] Speaker 3: Very young. And so, I mean, I was making dinner
[3:08] Speaker 3: at five and six years old.
[3:09] Speaker 1: Like I was cooking.
[3:10] Speaker 3: Like who does that, right?
[3:11] Speaker 1: Wow.
[3:12] Speaker 3: And instead of my mom combing my hair, I would
[3:14] Speaker 3: comb her hair. And I- But, you know, I have
[3:18] Speaker 3: a lot of love for my mom, so I'm not
[3:19] Speaker 3: trying to like, you know, because I feel like that
[3:22] Speaker 3: she was the perfect mom for me, and I'll get
[3:24] Speaker 3: into that. But before my first near-death experience, I remember, well,
[3:30] Speaker 3: there were a few things. There's one that I don't
[3:32] Speaker 3: actually really talk about a lot, but I'll share it
[3:34] Speaker 3: with you. My mom thought if she liked something, everybody
[3:38] Speaker 3: should like it. including watermelon, which most people like watermelon.
[3:42] Speaker 1: Watermelon's delicious.
[3:43] Speaker 3: Yeah. But I didn't like watermelon, but if she served it,
[3:47] Speaker 3: you had to eat it.
[3:47] Speaker 1: Oh, that's the old school way of doing things. Yeah.
[3:49] Speaker 1: I mean, you had to eat it.
[3:50] Speaker 3: So what I would do is like cram it in
[3:53] Speaker 3: my face and just, or give it under the table
[3:56] Speaker 3: to the dogs if I could, but that wasn't possible.
[3:59] Speaker 3: But anyway, I had a seed stuck in my throat
[4:03] Speaker 3: and nobody could get it out. They were I don't
[4:05] Speaker 3: know if anyone knew about Heimlich or any of that,
[4:08] Speaker 3: but they were all hitting me and whatever. Anyway, I
[4:10] Speaker 3: passed out, turned blue. I mean, I didn't really wake
[4:14] Speaker 3: up in an ambulance, but I woke up above the ambulance.
[4:18] Speaker 3: So this is.
[4:19] Speaker 1: Before the near death? So this is a pre-near death experience?
[4:23] Speaker 3: Yeah, this is just, I call myself very untethered. Like
[4:26] Speaker 3: I've been very untethered to my body. I don't know
[4:28] Speaker 3: that I died any of these occasions, but I know
[4:32] Speaker 3: that I was outside my body.
[4:34] Speaker 1: How old were you with the seed situation?
[4:37] Speaker 3: You know, one of the things about near-death experience, Alex,
[4:40] Speaker 3: is that time becomes so elusive. But I will say,
[4:43] Speaker 3: and also I'm in my 60s, so this is a
[4:45] Speaker 3: long time ago. So let's just say five.
[4:47] Speaker 1: But it's still before the actual fifth. Yes. Yes.
[4:51] Speaker 3: All right. Maybe seven. I'm not sure.
[4:53] Speaker 1: Okay.
[4:54] Speaker 3: But basically I was a child. And so I woke
[4:56] Speaker 3: up and I remember I was tethered with like a,
[5:00] Speaker 3: a thread, like a silver thread to this body. And
[5:03] Speaker 3: I was watching them inside. I was watching myself on
[5:08] Speaker 3: the stretcher with the guy next to me. And I
[5:11] Speaker 3: was really curious about it. I was like, oh, that's me.
[5:14] Speaker 3: And I remember thinking, if I don't get back in there,
[5:19] Speaker 3: then I will die. And I didn't have a spiritual
[5:22] Speaker 3: experience as far as like a being of light or
[5:25] Speaker 3: anything like that. It was just like, this experience where
[5:29] Speaker 3: I was following my body tethered by a thread. So
[5:33] Speaker 3: that was, and I didn't tell anyone because I always
[5:35] Speaker 3: make the joke that in my house, God wasn't welcome
[5:38] Speaker 3: unless he was damned. So in other words, we weren't,
[5:43] Speaker 3: my mom wasn't really, um, atheist. She was more agnostic.
[5:48] Speaker 3: And she said, there's a bunch of GED hypocrites that
[5:50] Speaker 3: did it at a church, you know? So we didn't
[5:53] Speaker 3: really have that kind of upbringing. And I didn't have
[5:55] Speaker 3: the relationship where I could have told her, hey, mom,
[5:57] Speaker 3: I was floating outside my body and watching myself in
[6:01] Speaker 3: the ambulance. Anyway, that's the first experience. And I just
[6:04] Speaker 3: kind of, that was just something I kept to myself.
[6:08] Speaker 3: But even as a child, Alex, I remember I had
[6:11] Speaker 3: imaginary friends. Like I just had imaginary friends. And now
[6:16] Speaker 3: I know. that was something different. But at the time,
[6:19] Speaker 3: I just thought they were imaginary friends. But it was
[6:22] Speaker 3: very comforting to me. And I believe that we all
[6:24] Speaker 3: have angels and guides and guardians around us. And I
[6:27] Speaker 3: think that was just, you know, and I remember I
[6:30] Speaker 3: really liked going to sleep because I would go to
[6:32] Speaker 3: this place where little girls and little boys weren't abused,
[6:38] Speaker 3: weren't hurt. And there was a lot of love. And so, anyway,
[6:42] Speaker 3: my life is going on. And I remember one morning, maybe... Again,
[6:49] Speaker 3: time is nebulous. But maybe I was between 11, 13 maybe.
[6:52] Speaker 3: I'm not sure. But I was already more of a teenage,
[6:59] Speaker 3: coming into teenage years, let's put it that way. And
[7:02] Speaker 3: I remember hearing my mom come down the hallway, which
[7:04] Speaker 3: was never a good thing because you could tell there
[7:07] Speaker 3: was anger, like a heavy footstep. And I remember I
[7:11] Speaker 3: was always just kind of like scared. I was just
[7:15] Speaker 3: a little bit scared. And I remember... her coming in and,
[7:19] Speaker 3: you know, there was three of us at the time.
[7:21] Speaker 3: That was before my little sister was born. And I didn't,
[7:24] Speaker 3: we never knew who was in trouble, but somebody had
[7:26] Speaker 3: done something wrong. Well, that morning it was me. And
[7:29] Speaker 3: so she like dragged me down the hall and she
[7:31] Speaker 3: pulled me to the kitchen. It was like six in
[7:33] Speaker 3: the morning. She said, why hadn't you cleaned this black
[7:36] Speaker 3: spot on the ceiling? And she had told me to
[7:39] Speaker 3: clean it, but I was like, you know, busy doing
[7:44] Speaker 3: all the other chores of the household and going to
[7:46] Speaker 3: school and trying to be an adult. So I just said,
[7:48] Speaker 3: I'm sorry, because I realized that that was the best
[7:51] Speaker 3: thing to do when somebody is intoxicated or has a hangover.
[7:55] Speaker 3: You just say you're sorry, even if you're not. I
[7:57] Speaker 3: got really good at saying I'm sorry. When my sister,
[8:00] Speaker 3: unfortunately for her, she's like, I'm not sorry. And that
[8:04] Speaker 3: never went well. So anyway, I started cleaning this black spot.
[8:09] Speaker 3: And I had the most beautiful experience a young child
[8:14] Speaker 3: could have, because I started talking to what My version
[8:17] Speaker 3: of God was. And I had heard the stories of,
[8:20] Speaker 3: you know, Moses parting the Red Seas. And I had
[8:24] Speaker 3: heard the stories of Jesus. I had heard all these
[8:26] Speaker 3: stories and all these miracles. And I was like, you know,
[8:30] Speaker 3: if there's good people and bad people, I want to
[8:36] Speaker 3: be good. But I don't want to be good to
[8:39] Speaker 3: get to heaven. Because to me, that felt, and even
[8:41] Speaker 3: at this very early age, it felt corrupt. Like, I'm
[8:44] Speaker 3: going to be good?
[8:45] Speaker 1: Yeah. It's transactional.
[8:46] Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a transaction. I'll be good. Or I'm
[8:49] Speaker 3: going to be good to avoid hell or being thrown
[8:52] Speaker 3: into brimstone and snakes and fire and all that stuff,
[8:55] Speaker 3: which seemed like a very horrible God to me. But anyway,
[9:00] Speaker 3: I didn't want– and I said, you know, but even–
[9:03] Speaker 3: and I thought this very young and very elevated thoughts
[9:06] Speaker 3: for such a young child. But because of my having
[9:09] Speaker 3: to be an adult, I think– and also I think
[9:10] Speaker 3: I'm an older soul. I came in. I think I
[9:12] Speaker 3: came in willingly to this particular family so that I
[9:15] Speaker 3: could have these particular experiences so that I could help
[9:18] Speaker 3: a lot of people. Because people can look at me
[9:21] Speaker 3: and think a certain thing about me, but they have
[9:24] Speaker 3: no idea what I have gone through to be who
[9:26] Speaker 3: I am. And so if you look in my eyes,
[9:29] Speaker 3: you can see like she is soft but strong. And
[9:34] Speaker 3: the reason is because I've had these really wonderful, which
[9:36] Speaker 3: you might think horrific experiences that have made me this
[9:40] Speaker 3: more powerful person. crystal that has shown up, right? So anyway,
[9:45] Speaker 3: I'm up having this conversation with God who, again, was
[9:48] Speaker 3: not welcome in our house. And I said, you know,
[9:51] Speaker 3: I don't want to sign up for that. I want
[9:53] Speaker 3: to be good because I'm a good person. And I
[9:56] Speaker 3: really wanted to be good, Alex. Like, I really, that
[9:59] Speaker 3: was just my soul. Like, I just want to be
[10:01] Speaker 3: a good person. I want to be good in the world.
[10:03] Speaker 3: And I was like, like, literally, because that was my first, like,
[10:08] Speaker 3: moment of self-worth. So one thing that happens with kids
[10:11] Speaker 3: in this dysfunctional relationships with their parents and primary caretakers
[10:16] Speaker 3: is that, you know, your self-worth is relieved. Because you think,
[10:20] Speaker 3: if I was a better little girl, my mom wouldn't drink,
[10:22] Speaker 3: my dad wouldn't leave. Of course. You know, things would
[10:25] Speaker 3: be better. So you're always thinking it's you. And this
[10:28] Speaker 3: was like the first moment, because I had this realization,
[10:31] Speaker 3: if I want to be good just because I want
[10:35] Speaker 3: to be good, that means I am good, which means
[10:37] Speaker 3: I'm a good person. And I was like, oh. And
[10:39] Speaker 3: I had this really almost spiritual experience. And then I said,
[10:45] Speaker 3: I continued this conversation with God. And I said, well, God,
[10:49] Speaker 3: you know, in my very innocent little girl way, if
[10:52] Speaker 3: you're real, then why can't I know you're real? But
[10:57] Speaker 3: before I die, not after. That seemed like cheating. All right.
[11:02] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[11:02] Speaker 3: Everyone knows you're real after you die, right?
[11:04] Speaker 1: Sure.
[11:04] Speaker 3: I was like, why can't I, like Moses, the burning bush,
[11:08] Speaker 3: you know, why can't I part the Red Seas? Why
[11:10] Speaker 3: can't I know before I die? And I was like,
[11:13] Speaker 3: if you're God and you made the universe, like that's possible, right?
[11:17] Speaker 3: But then here was the impossible thing that I asked him.
[11:19] Speaker 3: And by the way, if you're God, can you help
[11:24] Speaker 3: my mom stop drinking? Oh, God. And I thought that
[11:28] Speaker 3: was even more impossible. But with that, I turned around.
[11:32] Speaker 3: And this is where it gets kind of groovy. I
[11:35] Speaker 3: turned around and I walked off the counter. So like
[11:37] Speaker 3: if I was to walk up this table, your foot falls,
[11:40] Speaker 3: your head follows, right? Sure. So I go... face first
[11:44] Speaker 3: into the floor. However, I never hit it. Let me explain.
[11:51] Speaker 3: So all of a sudden, there's three of me. There
[11:55] Speaker 3: is the body falling through time and space. There's the
[11:59] Speaker 3: soul essence that lives within this body. And then there's
[12:02] Speaker 3: this all knowing observer that was also me. And what
[12:06] Speaker 3: I related with was this being that lived within the body.
[12:11] Speaker 3: this essence, this soul essence, like the particular essence that had,
[12:16] Speaker 3: let's say, fragmented into this body. But I knew I
[12:18] Speaker 3: was all three. And my body was floating through time
[12:21] Speaker 3: and space. It was like a vortex or a tornado.
[12:25] Speaker 3: And I couldn't be sure. I remember wondering, is this
[12:27] Speaker 3: moving up or am I moving down? And if I
[12:29] Speaker 3: was moving down, that was kind of scary because I
[12:31] Speaker 3: was going to hell. But if it's moving up, then
[12:34] Speaker 3: I was kind of in this. And I remember just
[12:36] Speaker 3: kind of like wondering where I'm at. And the sole
[12:40] Speaker 3: essence of me was just observing. But then this all-knowing
[12:44] Speaker 3: observer was dispassionate about it all and wasn't buying into
[12:49] Speaker 3: my poor little crystal, poor little me stories at all.
[12:53] Speaker 3: Like it was just neutral, let's just say. And it
[12:56] Speaker 3: almost felt like I had a little bit of shame
[12:58] Speaker 3: because I was trying to get sort of some kind
[12:59] Speaker 3: of accolades by this story. Anyway, I ended up in
[13:03] Speaker 3: this serene black room. night, let's say out in space,
[13:08] Speaker 3: and it was speckled with lights. And there was this presence, 1107,
[13:14] Speaker 3: I just left that number. And there is this presence
[13:19] Speaker 3: that showed, it wasn't a person or a thing, it
[13:22] Speaker 3: was just said, this is time and space, and there
[13:24] Speaker 3: is no empty space in the universe. And I want
[13:26] Speaker 3: you to remember, this is like, I'm in my 60s.
[13:31] Speaker 3: This is like when I was 10. This is before
[13:34] Speaker 3: they had discovered dark matter. And there's no empty space.
[13:37] Speaker 3: And what you see out there, those are stars. And
[13:41] Speaker 3: that's what you are. And with that, I was back
[13:46] Speaker 3: in my body. But Alex, like I was standing on
[13:50] Speaker 3: my feet. And I was looking down. I had my
[13:53] Speaker 3: arms wrapped behind me. And I was standing on my feet.
[13:56] Speaker 3: And I was like, wait, maybe I hit my head.
[14:01] Speaker 3: Saw stars. Had this beautiful experience. So I ran to
[14:06] Speaker 3: the bathroom and I'm like, okay, I have to have
[14:09] Speaker 3: like something, right?
[14:10] Speaker 1: Nothing.
[14:10] Speaker 3: So then I called my brother and I was like, Mark, Mark,
[14:12] Speaker 3: God saved me. And he's like, who, what? He's like,
[14:17] Speaker 3: what are you talking about? And I told him like this,
[14:19] Speaker 3: there was three of me. Like I didn't have this
[14:21] Speaker 3: kind of verbiage that I have today, but there was
[14:23] Speaker 3: three of me. There was this body. There was this
[14:25] Speaker 3: thing that lived in my body. There was this all-knowing observer.
[14:28] Speaker 3: He's like, I think you need a straight jacket. That's
[14:30] Speaker 3: exactly what he said to me. And we both started
[14:32] Speaker 3: giggling because my brother is like a year younger than me.
[14:35] Speaker 3: And so we giggled and I sat on the floor
[14:37] Speaker 3: and I said, you know, Mark, I get it. Like,
[14:41] Speaker 3: this sounds weird even to me. This wasn't in our upbringing.
[14:46] Speaker 3: You know, we didn't come up in a home where
[14:48] Speaker 3: anything spiritual was happening.
[14:50] Speaker 1: And were near-death experiences even a thing yet?
[14:52] Speaker 3: I don't even think so. And so then I said,
[14:55] Speaker 3: but never forget. And here's the funny part. So my
[14:57] Speaker 3: brother lives, by the way, and he lives here in Austin.
[15:00] Speaker 3: And he's a minister.
[15:02] Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
[15:03] Speaker 3: But we have very different lives.
[15:05] Speaker 1: Perspectives.
[15:05] Speaker 3: Perspectives, right.
[15:08] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[15:14] Speaker 2: And now back to the show.
[15:17] Speaker 3: So it's kind of, I think the universe has like
[15:19] Speaker 3: such a huge sense of humor because I said to him,
[15:22] Speaker 3: I don't, it's okay if you don't believe me, but
[15:25] Speaker 3: you can't forget this. And so every year, do you remember?
[15:29] Speaker 3: And somehow I was given the knowledge that if I
[15:31] Speaker 3: didn't have someone to say, I remember that, I might
[15:34] Speaker 3: think it was a dream because it was so. So
[15:37] Speaker 3: after that, I started going to Sunday school. I started
[15:40] Speaker 3: calling buses. I started walking. I read the Bible seven times.
[15:45] Speaker 1: That's a lot.
[15:47] Speaker 3: Forward, back, forward, back. I said, well, maybe I read
[15:49] Speaker 3: it from the back because it was terrifying to me.
[15:52] Speaker 1: I mean. Oh, it's not.
[15:54] Speaker 3: This kind of God, I couldn't. And I thought there
[15:56] Speaker 3: was something.
[15:57] Speaker 1: Wrong with me. There's two gods in that book. Yes,
[15:59] Speaker 1: that's true.
[15:59] Speaker 3: I never thought of it that way.
[16:00] Speaker 1: There's two gods. There's the first God and then the
[16:02] Speaker 1: second God. Jesus doesn't talk about the same God.
[16:05] Speaker 3: That's true.
[16:05] Speaker 1: It's a very different God.
[16:07] Speaker 3: Very different. And it was terrifying to me. So then
[16:10] Speaker 3: I started going to church. My mom thought I had
[16:13] Speaker 3: lost my mind. Walking to church, calling Sunday school. And
[16:16] Speaker 3: then my sisters and my brothers started coming with me.
[16:19] Speaker 3: So I was like, okay. So we all, I was
[16:21] Speaker 3: baptized five times.
[16:24] Speaker 1: Why did you need five baptisms?
[16:25] Speaker 3: Because I didn't feel it. Because when I was in
[16:28] Speaker 3: this out-of-body state, I felt the truth of the universe.
[16:31] Speaker 3: I felt this unconditional love. I felt completely held and
[16:37] Speaker 3: completely loved. And I really wanted, and I don't, like
[16:40] Speaker 3: I'm not going to fake it. Like I'm not a
[16:43] Speaker 3: fake it kind of girl. You know what I mean? Like,
[16:46] Speaker 3: all right, that was nice. So I'm like, maybe there's
[16:48] Speaker 3: something wrong with me. I need to try this again.
[16:51] Speaker 3: So the last time I got baptized, I was like,
[16:57] Speaker 3: there's probably something wrong with me.
[16:58] Speaker 1: But did you keep getting baptized because you were looking
[17:00] Speaker 1: for that feeling again?
[17:01] Speaker 3: I was looking for truth, not a feeling.
[17:05] Speaker 1: Okay.
[17:06] Speaker 3: The feeling was great, but I wanted to know the truth.
[17:10] Speaker 3: And the feeling that I'm talking about was the truth
[17:13] Speaker 3: of the universe, which is absolute, unconditional love. And I
[17:17] Speaker 3: didn't– I felt it was like a– Like it was something,
[17:22] Speaker 3: it was fun, it was nice, it made everybody feel good,
[17:25] Speaker 3: but it wasn't the absolute truth that I knew to
[17:28] Speaker 3: be true. And there was some dogma. I didn't have
[17:31] Speaker 3: verbiage for it, but there's something that felt false about it.
[17:33] Speaker 1: But you also were trying as a baby, a kid,
[17:37] Speaker 1: to process all of this in a time that there
[17:40] Speaker 1: weren't podcasts, there weren't YouTube, there wasn't, you know, that
[17:44] Speaker 1: you barely could get something in an occult bookstore about
[17:47] Speaker 1: this kind of stuff back then.
[17:48] Speaker 3: One thing I do want to say though, and I
[17:50] Speaker 3: want to just, put it there that with all this
[17:52] Speaker 3: church experience, I met so many loving, kind people. And like,
[17:57] Speaker 3: it was so nice to be held in that, in
[17:59] Speaker 3: their loving embrace, whatever their beliefs were that I couldn't
[18:02] Speaker 3: really sign up for. I did feel like, I feel
[18:05] Speaker 3: like there's a place for it all because for me,
[18:08] Speaker 3: it was these people, they love, they loved me to
[18:11] Speaker 3: the degree that they could. And they were really, they
[18:13] Speaker 3: believed what they were doing was good and it was
[18:15] Speaker 3: the right path. And so I felt held in that way.
[18:19] Speaker 3: But I couldn't sign up for it. The last one
[18:20] Speaker 3: I went to.
[18:22] Speaker 1: Baptism. The last baptism.
[18:23] Speaker 3: Yeah, I went, no, after that I went to a healer.
[18:25] Speaker 3: It was like a charismatic healer.
[18:27] Speaker 1: How old were you now?
[18:28] Speaker 3: Now I'm like getting close to 17.
[18:31] Speaker 1: Okay, so you're a teenager now at this point.
[18:34] Speaker 3: But I remember I went and like.
[18:36] Speaker 1: So all that decade you were just searching. You were
[18:39] Speaker 1: trying everything.
[18:40] Speaker 3: I wanted to know the truth.
[18:42] Speaker 1: Wow. So you were searching.
[18:43] Speaker 3: You were literally a seeker. And I wasn't going to
[18:46] Speaker 3: fake it. And I wasn't going to pretend. Like, oh,
[18:49] Speaker 3: I'm changed? I'm like, no, I'm the same. Like, come
[18:52] Speaker 3: out of the water, you're changed. They're like, no, no,
[18:54] Speaker 3: I'm still me.
[18:55] Speaker 1: I changed.
[18:56] Speaker 3: But anyway, I went to this guy, and this is
[18:58] Speaker 3: the most bizarre thing. And he was like putting hands
[19:00] Speaker 3: on people and they were falling down. You know, those
[19:02] Speaker 3: kinds of things.
[19:03] Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. I don't know if they still have them.
[19:04] Speaker 1: There's some snakes somewhere, I'm sure. Yeah.
[19:07] Speaker 3: But people were falling down. Sure, sure, sure. And I
[19:09] Speaker 3: remember I got and actually fell down. And I got
[19:13] Speaker 3: up and I told him, I looked him straight in
[19:14] Speaker 3: the eyes and I said, listen, what you're doing is wrong.
[19:18] Speaker 3: I said, because you're using like a powerful energy, like
[19:21] Speaker 3: hypnotizing people. And this is wrong. And you're making a
[19:25] Speaker 3: lot of money doing this. This is wrong. I was
[19:27] Speaker 3: just a kid, you know. And they quietly escorted me out.
[19:31] Speaker 1: Of course.
[19:31] Speaker 3: I was quietly escorted out. And then I gave up
[19:33] Speaker 3: on religion. That was it for me. I was like, okay,
[19:36] Speaker 3: I'm done. But besides that, my home situation had gotten
[19:40] Speaker 3: really bad. You know, it was just, you know, teenage
[19:43] Speaker 3: years are not easy anyway. I was in my teenage years.
[19:49] Speaker 3: I had to survive. I left home when I was 17.
[19:53] Speaker 3: I ran away from home, went out the window. I
[19:55] Speaker 3: remember my dog. I had this sweet dog named Lady.
[19:58] Speaker 3: She was hanging out and howling. It was this crazy,
[20:01] Speaker 3: but I had done all my research. I knew she
[20:04] Speaker 3: couldn't put me into whatever they put kids that are bad,
[20:08] Speaker 3: like reforming school or something. It's a longer story, but
[20:14] Speaker 3: the boss, and then I started working. I was selling flowers,
[20:17] Speaker 3: carnations on the street when I was 10. I was
[20:20] Speaker 3: always picking weeds, babysitting, or the A & W root
[20:27] Speaker 3: beer when I was 13. I was always very industrious
[20:31] Speaker 3: and smart and working towards life. So I checked it out.
[20:34] Speaker 3: And as my boss said, this event happened. It doesn't
[20:38] Speaker 3: really matter. But she said, if you need a place
[20:40] Speaker 3: to stay, I was working at first cafeteria, making salads,
[20:46] Speaker 3: you can come stay with me. So I called her.
[20:47] Speaker 3: And back then it was like a, you know, like
[20:49] Speaker 3: a 7-Eleven. I went to 7-Eleven, put in a dime,
[20:54] Speaker 3: called her, and she came and got me. And I
[20:56] Speaker 3: lived with her for about a month, which didn't work out.
[20:59] Speaker 3: Her daughter did not like me. And then I moved
[21:02] Speaker 3: in with another friend, her and her mom were all,
[21:04] Speaker 3: it was just moving from here to here to here.
[21:06] Speaker 3: And then I remember when I went to this woman's house,
[21:10] Speaker 3: it was my boss. She said, you need to call
[21:13] Speaker 3: your mom. And I, I said, okay. So I called
[21:18] Speaker 3: my mom and I said, she said, if you don't
[21:22] Speaker 3: come back, I don't have a daughter. Like you're, I
[21:26] Speaker 3: never want to see you again. You're going to be
[21:28] Speaker 3: a whore. You're going to be a prostitute. You're going
[21:29] Speaker 3: to drop out of school. You're going to be a
[21:31] Speaker 3: drug addict. And I just don't have a daughter. And
[21:33] Speaker 3: I was crushed, Alex. I was crushed. I just wanted
[21:38] Speaker 3: her to say, I love you.
[21:39] Speaker 1: Come home.
[21:39] Speaker 3: We'll work this out. But it was actually the best
[21:43] Speaker 3: speech because I was like, I'll show you. I made
[21:46] Speaker 3: straight A's. I bought my own first car. It was
[21:49] Speaker 3: all just trying to get her to love me.
[21:51] Speaker 1: And of.
[21:55] Speaker 3: And I just want to say, cause my mom has
[21:57] Speaker 3: passed now and I just want to say, I know
[21:58] Speaker 3: she loved me. She did the best she could. So
[22:01] Speaker 3: I'm working about, you know, a year later, I see
[22:04] Speaker 3: my mom walking through the, I was working at some
[22:09] Speaker 3: retail store in the mall, like Jay Harris or something
[22:12] Speaker 3: like that. My mom comes and she's now Christian. Okay.
[22:16] Speaker 3: Remember my, my first, but my mom, when I left home,
[22:20] Speaker 3: it broke her heart.
[22:22] Speaker 1: So she needed to go.
[22:23] Speaker 3: She stopped smoking. She stopped drinking.
[22:26] Speaker 1: Wow.
[22:27] Speaker 3: She became, actually at the end of her life, she
[22:29] Speaker 3: was a minister.
[22:31] Speaker 1: Oh, wow. She went to the other end. Yes.
[22:33] Speaker 3: She pendulumed over. And remember I said to God when
[22:36] Speaker 3: I was a child, I said, a real miracle wouldn't
[22:40] Speaker 3: be parting the waters. It would be helping my mom
[22:43] Speaker 3: not drink. And she came and she like fell down
[22:45] Speaker 3: on her knees. And back then they had mascara that ran.
[22:49] Speaker 3: So she kind of looked like a whore.
[22:52] Speaker 1: Tammy Faye. Very Tammy Faye.
[22:53] Speaker 3: That was her guru. How did you know?
[22:56] Speaker 1: Oh my God, you knew.
[22:57] Speaker 3: That was my mom's guru back in the day.
[22:59] Speaker 1: Wow. Tammy Faye was the guru? Good Lord.
[23:02] Speaker 3: I know.
[23:03] Speaker 1: I know.
[23:03] Speaker 3: And she was so distraught when that whole kingdom fell.
[23:06] Speaker 3: But anyway.
[23:08] Speaker 1: Shocking. Yeah.
[23:09] Speaker 3: She fell on her knees in front of me in
[23:11] Speaker 3: the middle of the mall. And she said, I just
[23:13] Speaker 3: want to ask you for forgiveness. And she had like this.
[23:16] Speaker 3: And I said, mom, like we're all doing the best
[23:19] Speaker 3: that we can. Like, You did the best. I'm happy
[23:23] Speaker 3: with my life.
[23:24] Speaker 1: Get up.
[23:24] Speaker 3: Like, come. Our relationship was never good. I can't say
[23:28] Speaker 3: it was good because there was so much pain from
[23:31] Speaker 3: my childhood. And I had, like, I always, I didn't
[23:34] Speaker 3: learn until later. Like, I saw my mom, but I
[23:37] Speaker 3: saw a story. I didn't see who was standing before me.
[23:41] Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
[23:41] Speaker 1: Oh, I know.
[23:41] Speaker 3: Because I couldn't see past until finally when she was
[23:45] Speaker 3: older and I could see her. And she was this
[23:48] Speaker 3: fragile old woman. But for me, she was always a lioness.
[23:51] Speaker 3: She was so fierce, this woman. She was scary fierce.
[23:54] Speaker 1: Beautiful.
[23:56] Speaker 3: Shockingly beautiful. We'd walk down the street. People would ask
[23:58] Speaker 3: her for her autograph. We lived in California at that time.
[24:02] Speaker 3: So anyway, when she got older, I remember I suddenly
[24:07] Speaker 3: the veil fell. And I saw this fragile woman who
[24:09] Speaker 3: just needed me to take care of her and to
[24:13] Speaker 3: love her. And so one of the things I think
[24:16] Speaker 3: that I really... really grateful about is that I've always
[24:19] Speaker 3: been able to give what I didn't receive. So I
[24:23] Speaker 3: was like, you know what? I'm going to be, I'm
[24:25] Speaker 3: willing to take into the end of her life. I,
[24:27] Speaker 3: I took good care of my mom to the best
[24:29] Speaker 3: of my ability. Um, but anyway, so continue on, right?
[24:33] Speaker 3: My life. Um, and she's continuing on becoming a minister
[24:37] Speaker 3: and all of this. Um, I get married, I had
[24:40] Speaker 3: children and, um, I think this is also something that
[24:44] Speaker 3: happens with kids with dysfunction, you know, like The most important,
[24:48] Speaker 3: and I know you have girls, the most important relationship
[24:51] Speaker 3: for a girl, apparently, according to science, is the father
[24:55] Speaker 3: and daughter relationship. More, you would think it's mother to daughter,
[24:58] Speaker 3: but it's actually the relationship with the father. Because typically,
[25:03] Speaker 3: they will marry someone that's like you, which will be
[25:07] Speaker 3: very nice for your daughters.
[25:08] Speaker 1: I mean, I hope so.
[25:10] Speaker 3: But my father was not there. And when he was there,
[25:13] Speaker 3: he was abusive as well and big drinker. So I
[25:18] Speaker 3: married somebody who, not that he, he wasn't like my
[25:22] Speaker 3: father in that sense, but I guess he was absent
[25:25] Speaker 3: even though he was there. And like, he came from
[25:27] Speaker 3: a very well-to-do family. And I was this model because
[25:30] Speaker 3: at that time it was modeling and, and, you know,
[25:33] Speaker 3: I was a good girl and I was, you know,
[25:35] Speaker 3: but I didn't drink and I didn't smoke because I,
[25:38] Speaker 3: you know, good girl. And I was also modeling. I
[25:42] Speaker 3: was taking good care of myself and I was always
[25:44] Speaker 3: just really working on. So we, you know, I needed
[25:48] Speaker 3: a hero and he needed to save somebody. It worked
[25:51] Speaker 3: out great, but then guess what? We have to get along.
[25:53] Speaker 1: Right.
[25:53] Speaker 3: So that marriage didn't work. Um, ultimately, although we're still like,
[25:58] Speaker 3: he's been my broken hero. I'm always grateful for him. Um,
[26:01] Speaker 3: in so many ways, you know, let me ask you.
[26:04] Speaker 1: So with all of the stuff that you've gone through
[26:07] Speaker 1: so far, I mean, you've obviously, from a spiritual perspective,
[26:12] Speaker 1: chose this path.
[26:13] Speaker 3: I think so.
[26:13] Speaker 1: Yeah, the soul chose this path. The three parts of you,
[26:18] Speaker 1: the body, the soul, and the observer, it's very interesting,
[26:23] Speaker 1: the concept, because people get stuck, basically stop at soul.
[26:26] Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, no, there's actually, the soul is
[26:30] Speaker 1: the spark that kind of ignites this whole thing. But
[26:33] Speaker 1: then there is a higher self or observer or however
[26:37] Speaker 1: that is connected the old kind of like, it knows everything.
[26:41] Speaker 3: And it's like, like the, the drop of water in
[26:43] Speaker 3: the ocean or the wave in the ocean, right?
[26:45] Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. It's something like that. So it's connected to the,
[26:48] Speaker 1: the Irish. And then we could talk about the oversoul
[26:50] Speaker 1: and we could talk about soul families as a whole
[26:52] Speaker 1: other situation. Cause I'm assuming you guys had some business
[26:55] Speaker 1: in this, in this life to deal with. So who
[26:58] Speaker 1: knows what you, I'm.
[27:00] Speaker 3: Sure I signed up for this family, as I said, because,
[27:03] Speaker 3: and like, you know, given this physical presentation of crystal Ray, um,
[27:09] Speaker 3: which everyone, you know, would say, oh, she's glamorous, she's successful,
[27:12] Speaker 3: she's this and that, but they have no idea like I.
[27:14] Speaker 1: Oh, the hell you went through.
[27:15] Speaker 3: Yeah, they have no idea. But the gift of that
[27:18] Speaker 3: is like I have a lot of students because I
[27:21] Speaker 3: have yoga studios and I do a lot of mentorship.
[27:23] Speaker 3: It's like people think, well, I can't do that. And
[27:28] Speaker 3: I'm like, look in my eyes. You can do it.
[27:31] Speaker 3: I'm telling you. And because you've been through it, you
[27:33] Speaker 3: can actually empower. Because sometimes you don't have the authority because, like, okay, well,
[27:38] Speaker 3: you haven't been raped and pillaged. How would you know?
[27:40] Speaker 3: You know what I mean? But if you have been
[27:42] Speaker 3: raped and pillaged, then, and you still choose love.
[27:46] Speaker 1: Well, that's the ultimate. Yes. That's the ultimate test.
[27:49] Speaker 3: So I feel like I chose this so that I
[27:51] Speaker 3: would have the grit to, because there's some horror in
[27:54] Speaker 3: this life. And I've met some people who, where my
[27:57] Speaker 3: story sounds like, you know, kindergarten.
[28:00] Speaker 1: Oh, I know. I've had those. I know those people. Oh, no.
[28:03] Speaker 1: Things that you're just like, good Lord.
[28:05] Speaker 3: And so then I, The gift of my very troubled
[28:09] Speaker 3: childhood was it gave me the grit and the experience
[28:14] Speaker 3: where I can actually be of service and be a light.
[28:18] Speaker 1: Well, yeah. And this is the part that people don't
[28:21] Speaker 1: get a lot of times, especially when you're in it.
[28:23] Speaker 1: It sucks when you're going through stuff that's tough. We've
[28:26] Speaker 1: all gone through versions of it. Trauma, obstacles, troubles, challenges.
[28:34] Speaker 1: But that's when you grow. That's true. That's the only
[28:36] Speaker 1: time you grow. If everything's hunky-dory, you're not growing. You're
[28:40] Speaker 1: just kind of riding. But it's only when these challenges
[28:43] Speaker 1: come in front of you is when you are tested.
[28:46] Speaker 1: And it's going back to the hero's journey, which is
[28:51] Speaker 1: Joseph Campbell's hero's journey, which all movies and stories are
[28:54] Speaker 1: all based around.
[28:55] Speaker 3: The archetypes.
[28:56] Speaker 1: The archetypes and things like that. But when the hero
[28:59] Speaker 1: is just going along their date, they need to be challenged.
[29:02] Speaker 1: They need to have a call. You have to reject
[29:05] Speaker 1: the call. Like, no, no, no, no. I don't want
[29:06] Speaker 1: to go out publicly and talk about this near-death experience.
[29:09] Speaker 1: That's crazy. I'm going to be thrown into a loony.
[29:12] Speaker 1: Sound familiar? And then you're like, well, no, you have
[29:15] Speaker 1: to go. And then you eventually go because now you
[29:17] Speaker 1: are leaving the world that you knew, the ordinary world,
[29:20] Speaker 1: and going into the unknown. And now you're on a journey.
[29:23] Speaker 1: And then all these challenges are being thrown at you.
[29:25] Speaker 1: And then by the time you're done with that journey
[29:27] Speaker 1: and you come back, you are a completely different person.
[29:30] Speaker 1: And you're also, if you want to go through the
[29:33] Speaker 1: full gambit of the hero's journey, You have the elixir,
[29:35] Speaker 1: you got the the prize and that prize could be
[29:37] Speaker 1: a physical you know arc of the covenant or it
[29:41] Speaker 1: could be knowledge that you bring back to the community
[29:45] Speaker 1: to the tribe to yourself to people around you that
[29:48] Speaker 1: they can go oh she's different now and it seems
[29:51] Speaker 1: like you've and there's little mini versions of that happening
[29:54] Speaker 1: to us throughout our lives there's the one big overall
[29:57] Speaker 1: arc but we're always going through all that. So, so,
[30:00] Speaker 1: you know, a lot of people like, I want to
[30:02] Speaker 1: avoid pain. I want to avoid, you know, I want
[30:04] Speaker 1: to be comfortable all the time. Like you're not going
[30:06] Speaker 1: to grow and you're not going to be tested unless
[30:09] Speaker 1: you push yourself outside the comfort zone, just like you
[30:12] Speaker 1: were in a gym, just like you are when you
[30:14] Speaker 1: do yoga.
[30:15] Speaker 3: Right.
[30:15] Speaker 1: You know, when you do yoga, when you're doing downward
[30:18] Speaker 1: dog for the first time, I know very few yoga terms,
[30:22] Speaker 1: but when you're doing downward dog or Cobra for the
[30:25] Speaker 1: first time, And you can't, you know, do anything. Like
[30:29] Speaker 1: it's like downward dog is a thing. Like it's, oh,
[30:31] Speaker 1: it hurts. That's step one. But you do it for
[30:35] Speaker 1: a month or two or three. By the time you're done,
[30:37] Speaker 1: you're like, oh, this is easy.
[30:38] Speaker 3: This is a resting pose, yeah.
[30:39] Speaker 1: This is a resting pose now.
[30:40] Speaker 3: Exactly.
[30:41] Speaker 1: But you need to be challenged. You need to push
[30:42] Speaker 1: yourself beyond the comfort zone.
[30:43] Speaker 3: So I agree with that. But I will say that.
[30:47] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[30:53] Speaker 2: And now back to the show.
[30:56] Speaker 3: I feel like as you evolve, this is personal experience,
[30:59] Speaker 3: is that the challenges are, yes, they're great sparks. And
[31:03] Speaker 3: I feel like we all have exit points in our lives.
[31:06] Speaker 3: We'll talk about that. I had some exit points. But
[31:09] Speaker 3: I also think as you move along, I think you
[31:12] Speaker 3: can suffer less. Not that you won't have challenges, but
[31:14] Speaker 3: you won't suffer through them. Agreed. So I think when
[31:18] Speaker 3: I was younger, I suffered a lot because of the
[31:21] Speaker 3: stories I attached to the pain.
[31:23] Speaker 1: Agreed.
[31:24] Speaker 3: And I feel like now... I can have a very difficult,
[31:28] Speaker 3: challenging thing and not suffer about it. It's not that
[31:31] Speaker 3: the things don't happen, but I don't suffer. And I
[31:35] Speaker 3: feel this is a spiritual evolution that we will all
[31:39] Speaker 3: find our way to. So I agree that pain and
[31:44] Speaker 3: all that stuff, the challenges get you out of it.
[31:46] Speaker 3: But I don't think that's the only way, ultimately, to grow.
[31:51] Speaker 3: I would have to disagree with that. I think that
[31:53] Speaker 3: eventually you can outgrow the idea that you need to
[31:56] Speaker 3: suffer to grow.
[31:56] Speaker 1: Agreed.
[31:57] Speaker 3: But I'm not disregarding that either, because for me, it
[32:00] Speaker 3: has been a huge catalyst of getting, even recently, I've
[32:04] Speaker 3: had some really big challenges that light the fire again,
[32:08] Speaker 3: because you can get very cozy. But again, I'm not
[32:11] Speaker 3: suffering because of the challenges.
[32:13] Speaker 1: And there's a big distinction. I love that you brought
[32:15] Speaker 1: that up, because I do think that all challenges make
[32:18] Speaker 1: you grow in one way, shape, or form. But The
[32:21] Speaker 1: decision on how to deal with the challenges is your choice.
[32:25] Speaker 1: What is thrown at us in our path is not
[32:28] Speaker 1: really determined by us, at least on a conscious level.
[32:31] Speaker 1: On a subconscious level or on a soul level, we
[32:34] Speaker 1: knew this was coming. We signed up for it. But
[32:37] Speaker 1: when a challenge is thrown at you, you can't really,
[32:40] Speaker 1: like a bear is in front of you right now.
[32:42] Speaker 1: I didn't ask for the bear. Where did the bear
[32:43] Speaker 1: come from? Now, how am I going to deal with
[32:45] Speaker 1: this bear? Now, I can hug it. Probably not going
[32:47] Speaker 1: to work out well. He's so cute. Or you run.
[32:53] Speaker 1: So you have to figure out how to deal with it.
[32:54] Speaker 1: But I promise you, after that experience, you're going to
[32:57] Speaker 1: be a lot smarter. You're going to be a different
[33:00] Speaker 1: human being.
[33:01] Speaker 3: But there is also another way to grow.
[33:03] Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. So let me continue for a second. The suffering.
[33:06] Speaker 1: That's the thing. Just because bad things happen to you
[33:09] Speaker 1: or challenging things happen to you, it's about how you
[33:11] Speaker 1: deal with it and how you choose to associate the
[33:13] Speaker 1: stories with it.
[33:14] Speaker 3: Story.
[33:15] Speaker 1: That's the thing. It's all about the stories that we
[33:17] Speaker 1: tell ourselves. And there's a foundational stories. That's why when
[33:21] Speaker 1: your story might be different than my story, and I'm
[33:24] Speaker 1: so stuck to my story, let's say my religion. And
[33:27] Speaker 1: you say, but wait a minute, who's Buddha?
[33:28] Speaker 3: No, no, no, no.
[33:29] Speaker 1: There's no Buddha. There's only Jesus. There's only, screw the
[33:33] Speaker 1: five other billion people who don't follow him.
[33:35] Speaker 3: My gosh.
[33:35] Speaker 1: God forbid, right? That because my foundational story, my whole
[33:40] Speaker 1: life is based on that idea. I'm not open enough
[33:44] Speaker 1: or Limber enough to kind of flow with that idea.
[33:49] Speaker 1: So it's all about how you attach the stories and
[33:51] Speaker 1: then how you deal with it. And you don't have
[33:54] Speaker 1: to– the Buddha said that. Suffering is the attachment to things.
[33:58] Speaker 1: So Buddha went through a lot of stuff after he
[34:01] Speaker 1: found enlightenment.
[34:02] Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
[34:02] Speaker 1: But he didn't suffer.
[34:03] Speaker 3: He didn't suffer.
[34:04] Speaker 1: So I love that.
[34:06] Speaker 3: But I do think you can also continue to evolve
[34:08] Speaker 3: without having a challenge. Agreed. At a certain level.
[34:13] Speaker 1: Absolutely.
[34:13] Speaker 3: But I'm not discounting that. But anyway, continuing on. Right.
[34:17] Speaker 3: So we're going on. And so I get divorced, which
[34:20] Speaker 3: is really heartbreaking because I felt like to me, like
[34:23] Speaker 3: he had discovered that the slipper didn't fit. You know,
[34:27] Speaker 3: like I was actually broken, like my mom had said.
[34:30] Speaker 3: And of course, he's going to divorce me. Or of course,
[34:33] Speaker 3: he's going to be.
[34:34] Speaker 1: That's what you're saying to yourself.
[34:35] Speaker 3: Yes, of course. Like he's going to be unfaithful to
[34:37] Speaker 3: me because he's seen the truth. You know, like I
[34:40] Speaker 3: had this like The story you told yourself. The story, right?
[34:43] Speaker 3: The Cinderella gone wrong, you know, story. And so, but
[34:46] Speaker 3: I'm still continuing my life on and for about a
[34:49] Speaker 3: year and a half. And the day that, you know,
[34:52] Speaker 3: I didn't, when I got divorced, and I don't recommend
[34:54] Speaker 3: this for everyone, but when I got divorced, I remember
[34:57] Speaker 3: he came and we didn't even go to lawyers, which
[35:00] Speaker 3: is what I'm saying. And he was a very wealthy guy.
[35:02] Speaker 3: And I said, I'm not cutting the couch in half.
[35:05] Speaker 3: Like you, you can see the kids as much as
[35:08] Speaker 3: you want, because I wasn't able, like one time, I
[35:11] Speaker 3: had a picture of my real father under my pillow
[35:15] Speaker 3: when my mom was remarried, and I got a spanking
[35:17] Speaker 3: for that, for having my dad's picture. I know. I know.
[35:23] Speaker 3: I know. Bless her heart. Anyway, so I said, I
[35:26] Speaker 3: want my kids to have a father, and you are
[35:29] Speaker 3: their father, and I want you to come as much
[35:30] Speaker 3: as possible. I felt like I made the mistake. I
[35:35] Speaker 3: married the wrong person. I will take the hit, not
[35:37] Speaker 3: the kids.
[35:38] Speaker 2: That's what I thought.
[35:39] Speaker 3: And so you get to come as much as you
[35:41] Speaker 3: want and see the kids, which was hard for me.
[35:44] Speaker 3: So I didn't really date because he was there all
[35:46] Speaker 3: the time. He had his girlfriend and I was just
[35:50] Speaker 3: at home with the kids, right? But anyway, so about
[35:53] Speaker 3: a year and a half later, and this is where
[35:55] Speaker 3: my most traumatic, I guess, near-death experience that most people
[35:59] Speaker 3: are interested in. And I think I told you earlier today,
[36:02] Speaker 3: to me, the near-death experiences are not quite as interesting
[36:05] Speaker 3: as how you live your life. But we'll get into that.
[36:08] Speaker 1: Yeah, before you get into the near-death experience, that's something
[36:10] Speaker 1: I've spoken to a few in the years.
[36:12] Speaker 3: In my day.
[36:14] Speaker 1: What I always find fascinating is, yes, how they died
[36:19] Speaker 1: is always interesting because it's interesting naturally. Dramatic. It's dramatic,
[36:24] Speaker 1: generally speaking. Some more dramatic than others. And then there's
[36:28] Speaker 1: the experience of what happens on the other side, what
[36:30] Speaker 1: they experience. That's also dramatic. And those sort of things
[36:35] Speaker 1: are very interesting. But I find it more fascinating is
[36:38] Speaker 1: what happens to the person after they come back. What
[36:42] Speaker 1: does their life turn into after that experience? I mean,
[36:46] Speaker 1: the other stuff, the mystical stuff, the death, all that,
[36:49] Speaker 1: that's fascinating. And as a storyteller, it's awesome.
[36:53] Speaker 3: Awesome.
[36:54] Speaker 1: But what's more interesting to me is the next 10,
[36:57] Speaker 1: 20 years that that person is dealing with what they experienced,
[37:00] Speaker 1: how they processed it, how it changed their life, how
[37:02] Speaker 1: it affected their life, and how they're walking through this
[37:05] Speaker 1: life now differently. Because it was an exit point. And
[37:09] Speaker 1: just to clear before you get into it, my understanding,
[37:13] Speaker 1: and please correct me or give me your opinion on it,
[37:15] Speaker 1: is when we're on the other side, we choose our
[37:18] Speaker 1: soul plan, our soul blueprint. And in our soul blueprint,
[37:21] Speaker 1: the way I've always called it is mile markers. So
[37:24] Speaker 1: like at mile marker, you're going to, you're going to
[37:26] Speaker 1: have this parents. Nope. You can't change that. You're going
[37:29] Speaker 1: to meet this guy and he are going to marry,
[37:31] Speaker 1: and then he's going to be, you guys are gonna
[37:33] Speaker 1: have these kids. These are things that are kind of
[37:36] Speaker 1: locked into place, how they get there. It's up to you,
[37:39] Speaker 1: like within that. So we're like, oh, when it happens,
[37:41] Speaker 1: that's all variable, but, and these mile markers and like,
[37:44] Speaker 1: and you are going to have a near death experience
[37:47] Speaker 1: option here. And if you're not on the road where
[37:50] Speaker 1: you need to be, that's going to be where you're
[37:51] Speaker 1: going to come off now. And you have multiple of
[37:54] Speaker 1: those throughout your life. These are mile markers that are
[37:56] Speaker 1: just going to be what they're going to be. You're
[37:57] Speaker 1: going to live in New York. You're going to be here.
[37:59] Speaker 1: You're going to have this career. These are mile markers.
[38:01] Speaker 1: But how you get to the mile markers is where
[38:03] Speaker 1: you kind of have fun.
[38:04] Speaker 3: Right.
[38:05] Speaker 1: And you can go off the road. You can go off.
[38:08] Speaker 1: And that's when that happens.
[38:11] Speaker 3: A little scolding.
[38:12] Speaker 1: A little scolding or you die, which happens.
[38:15] Speaker 3: Try again.
[38:16] Speaker 1: The ultimate scolding is now you're dead. Now look at you.
[38:19] Speaker 1: So do you agree with that, that whole scenario?
[38:22] Speaker 3: I agree with that. I do think that we have,
[38:24] Speaker 3: I don't think it's preset. I think we have possibilities.
[38:27] Speaker 1: Potentials.
[38:28] Speaker 3: Timelines, yeah. There's different timelines that are available to you.
[38:31] Speaker 3: And I'll go more into that after the near-death experience.
[38:35] Speaker 3: So anyway, this gentleman asked me out, and I'm like
[38:39] Speaker 3: a year and a half out from dating, and I
[38:41] Speaker 3: literally haven't gone out of the house. I've just been
[38:43] Speaker 3: doing kid stuff. And I'm like, no, I'm not really
[38:46] Speaker 3: ready to date. And he's like, no, I have a house.
[38:51] Speaker 3: It's in the mountains in Vail, and my kids are coming.
[38:54] Speaker 3: His kids are older. They're like 30. He was a
[38:56] Speaker 3: little bit older. And, you know, I said, no, I'm
[38:59] Speaker 3: really not ready for that. He's like, no, he's like,
[39:02] Speaker 3: you can bring a friend, like a chaperone. I'm like,
[39:05] Speaker 3: all right. Here, I'm a 35-year-old woman at the time, right?
[39:07] Speaker 3: And I'm going to bring a chaperone. That sounded good
[39:09] Speaker 3: to me. I was like, all right.
[39:11] Speaker 1: I'll enjoy the ride. Sure, let's go.
[39:13] Speaker 3: Let's go. So I called my cousin, my cousin Carmen,
[39:16] Speaker 3: who's actually not my cousin. She's cousin through my marriage
[39:18] Speaker 3: and through an ex-brother-in-law. But we loved each other. So
[39:22] Speaker 3: we love each other. I shouldn't say love because she's
[39:23] Speaker 3: still on the planet. And so I said, do you
[39:27] Speaker 3: want to go on this ski trip with this friend
[39:31] Speaker 3: of mine, this new friend of mine? His friend's coming
[39:33] Speaker 3: to have a house. And she said, okay. And she
[39:35] Speaker 3: played the clarinet for the Dallas Opera. And she was
[39:39] Speaker 3: very talented and beautiful. She was 40 years old at
[39:41] Speaker 3: the time. She was like your beautiful wife. Like she
[39:44] Speaker 3: was Dark hair and she was very earthy and doe eyes.
[39:50] Speaker 1: A glow about her.
[39:52] Speaker 3: A glow. And she was just gorgeous and talented and smart.
[39:55] Speaker 3: And so I said, okay, so we're going on this
[39:57] Speaker 3: trip and we get to the mountain. First of all,
[40:00] Speaker 3: I touched you earlier. I'm always cold, right? I'm like, oh,
[40:03] Speaker 3: I'm cold. And it's cold in Vail. And I'm cold.
[40:06] Speaker 3: I don't really like the snow. Yeah.
[40:09] Speaker 1: Why did you go on a ski trip?
[40:10] Speaker 3: Because I thought I needed to get out of my house, Alex.
[40:13] Speaker 3: I was like, I need to. I'm like literally disappearing
[40:17] Speaker 3: inside my own like dark little hole.
[40:20] Speaker 1: You needed to kind of get out.
[40:21] Speaker 3: I needed to do something.
[40:23] Speaker 1: You were hermit.
[40:23] Speaker 3: I was hermit, yeah. And I had children and it
[40:26] Speaker 3: just wasn't healthy, mentally healthy for me.
[40:29] Speaker 1: You needed adult conversations.
[40:31] Speaker 3: Yes.
[40:31] Speaker 1: I know the feeling.
[40:32] Speaker 3: I know. I did.
[40:33] Speaker 1: I know the feeling.
[40:34] Speaker 3: So I went on this trip and then, so we
[40:36] Speaker 3: get there and, and I realized like, I like him,
[40:38] Speaker 3: but his kids, they, they drink a lot. They smoke
[40:40] Speaker 3: a lot. They cuss a lot, which is, you know,
[40:43] Speaker 3: I never drank. I never smoked. I never did drugs.
[40:45] Speaker 3: I mean, I just, it just wasn't because of my childhood.
[40:49] Speaker 3: It wasn't like something I was attracted to. I was like, yeah,
[40:51] Speaker 3: I've seen what that does. I'm not doing that. But anyway,
[40:54] Speaker 3: so I wasn't having a whole lot of fun. It
[40:55] Speaker 3: was cold. He was nice. So about three days in,
[40:59] Speaker 3: I said, Carmen, are you having fun? And she was like,
[41:02] Speaker 3: I might go back. And she had like a big
[41:06] Speaker 3: concert coming up. So I told my friend, I said, hey,
[41:09] Speaker 3: you know, this has been fun, but I don't think
[41:10] Speaker 3: I was actually ready for this. I think I should
[41:12] Speaker 3: go back. And he was like, sure. Let us go back.
[41:17] Speaker 3: So that day we were heading back to the airport.
[41:22] Speaker 3: And we stopped at this, like, you know, in Vail,
[41:24] Speaker 3: they have all these cute little hotel bars where it's
[41:28] Speaker 3: like a cozy fireplace.
[41:29] Speaker 1: And mountain little mountain town. Yeah.
[41:31] Speaker 3: A little mountain town. So we were ready to, we
[41:32] Speaker 3: were waiting for the plane. Then we got in the
[41:34] Speaker 3: car and we were heading up the mountain. Somehow he
[41:36] Speaker 3: went up the mountain, not down the mountain. We took
[41:38] Speaker 3: a long turn. And there was a, like a young
[41:42] Speaker 3: guy that was kind of like hitting on Carmen, you know,
[41:45] Speaker 3: and he was like 29, she's 40, whatever. And so
[41:47] Speaker 3: we were laughing about it. And I remember the driver,
[41:50] Speaker 3: my friend looking back laughing. And then when he turned back,
[41:54] Speaker 3: the car was like spinning, spinning. Um, Because it was
[41:58] Speaker 3: like kind of like, I don't know, sudden storms happening
[42:02] Speaker 3: in these mountain cities. And so it was like suddenly like,
[42:04] Speaker 3: I mean, the roads were already icy. And it was
[42:07] Speaker 3: just like, and we were spinning and then the car
[42:11] Speaker 3: was coming down the mountain and it couldn't stop. And
[42:16] Speaker 3: so we're spinning. And this time for me inside the car,
[42:20] Speaker 3: time is slowing down to like nothing. Like it's, there's
[42:23] Speaker 3: no sense of time. which has always been the case
[42:26] Speaker 3: for me. I never even set my, I like watches
[42:29] Speaker 3: because I think they're pretty, like a piece of jewelry,
[42:30] Speaker 3: but I don't even set them. Time doesn't really mean
[42:33] Speaker 3: much to me anymore. But anyway, so time slows down
[42:36] Speaker 3: and we're spinning, but it's like in slow motion. And
[42:39] Speaker 3: I'm feeling all the emotions and fear of everybody in
[42:45] Speaker 3: the car being the driver and my cousin in the back.
[42:47] Speaker 3: And I'm feeling it all. I had no fear of
[42:49] Speaker 3: death because of various experiences in my life. So Um,
[42:56] Speaker 3: so I'm very calm, like, like I'm like a cat calm,
[42:59] Speaker 3: you know, like, you know, have you ever seen a
[43:00] Speaker 3: ball at a cat? They just kind of go and
[43:02] Speaker 3: I'm like, super like ultra calm, especially when there's something tragic.
[43:08] Speaker 3: Like you want me around, like I am like going
[43:11] Speaker 3: to be the one to save you.
[43:13] Speaker 1: I promise.
[43:13] Speaker 3: Like that's, that's, that's the kind of energy I have.
[43:17] Speaker 3: And so I remember just feeling everything. I remember looking
[43:19] Speaker 3: back at Carmen and I think this is where I
[43:21] Speaker 3: got this really, and I never have seen so much fear.
[43:25] Speaker 3: horror or despair in someone. And I felt it like
[43:30] Speaker 3: it was me. And then the driver was just frantic, right?
[43:32] Speaker 3: He was just frantic. And, and so we get hit
[43:36] Speaker 3: on my side of the car and this person who
[43:38] Speaker 3: was estimated to be going 50 miles an hour and
[43:41] Speaker 3: hit my side of the car.
[43:42] Speaker 1: You got hit by a car?
[43:44] Speaker 3: We got hit because we were like T-boned.
[43:47] Speaker 1: Got it.
[43:48] Speaker 3: Hit my side of the car, passenger side. And During
[43:52] Speaker 3: all of this, like, I am in this altered state.
[43:57] Speaker 3: Time slowed down. And then suddenly, I'm outside of my body, right?
[44:03] Speaker 3: And I'm watching from a distance. And I'm in this
[44:07] Speaker 3: luminous presence. I wouldn't say there was a being of
[44:09] Speaker 3: light there. It was more of a luminous presence. And
[44:12] Speaker 3: I was being held. And I was very dispassionate about
[44:17] Speaker 3: what was going on in the car. So I'm watching
[44:19] Speaker 3: the car spinning. By the way, we... went off a cliff.
[44:23] Speaker 1: Oh, both the cars or just?
[44:26] Speaker 3: Our car only. Okay.
[44:27] Speaker 1: He hit you and then you too.
[44:28] Speaker 3: We went off. It was an 80 foot cliff.
[44:31] Speaker 1: Oh, Jesus.
[44:32] Speaker 3: And we hit at 25 feet and we flipped 10 times.
[44:38] Speaker 3: But I remember when we went off the cliff, like
[44:40] Speaker 3: when I felt the car go off the cliff, I
[44:42] Speaker 3: was like, we don't have wings. I remember thinking, we
[44:44] Speaker 3: don't have wings. And then I remember thinking, I didn't
[44:46] Speaker 3: know I was going to die today. That was like a, like,
[44:49] Speaker 3: it was like.
[44:50] Speaker 1: Oh, wow. Is this the day?
[44:52] Speaker 3: Like, you know, nobody, I think most people when they,
[44:55] Speaker 3: when their actual day comes, they're like, oh, wait.
[44:57] Speaker 1: Is today the day?
[44:58] Speaker 3: This is the day. And I was like, so surprised, Alex.
[45:01] Speaker 3: I was like, what? I didn't know I was going
[45:04] Speaker 3: to die today. It wasn't like a sadness about it.
[45:06] Speaker 3: It was more of a surprise. And there wasn't even
[45:09] Speaker 3: a fear about it. It was just a surprise.
[45:12] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[45:18] Speaker 2: And now, back to the show.
[45:21] Speaker 3: But with that, then I'm in this luminous presence, and
[45:25] Speaker 3: all I can say is, like... in that instant, I
[45:30] Speaker 3: knew everything that you could possibly know about everything. Like,
[45:35] Speaker 3: every question was answered. Um, I was... If I had
[45:39] Speaker 3: a question, for example, I was like, oh, no, I
[45:42] Speaker 3: can't die because I have two children, they're gonna be orphaned.
[45:45] Speaker 3: I don't know why I said orphaned, they have a dad, obviously.
[45:48] Speaker 3: But I said, they'll be orphaned. And I was shown
[45:50] Speaker 3: that we have different timelines. And one of the timelines
[45:53] Speaker 3: that I could have chosen was to leave the planet.
[45:56] Speaker 1: Okay, so stop for a second. So when you're there,
[45:59] Speaker 1: you're shown, what do you see? Is it just coming
[46:03] Speaker 1: in your mind?
[46:03] Speaker 3: Okay, so if you want like the way it happened.
[46:07] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, tell me.
[46:07] Speaker 3: The first thing that happened was I was shown my
[46:13] Speaker 3: own life review. First I'm held, then I'm shown a
[46:16] Speaker 3: life review. where I not only see what I've done,
[46:20] Speaker 3: but I've seen the ripple forward and backward of what
[46:24] Speaker 3: I've done in my life, like good and bad, not
[46:26] Speaker 3: from a place of judgment either. And it's almost instantaneous,
[46:30] Speaker 3: which is so bizarre. Like how can you see every
[46:32] Speaker 3: single moment of your life instantaneous and the ripple to infinium?
[46:36] Speaker 3: Like this is impossible, but it's not impossible because it happened.
[46:40] Speaker 3: And I remember one of the things that was shown,
[46:44] Speaker 3: which was really surprising to me, was... Like, do you
[46:48] Speaker 3: want to see the most beautiful act of love that you've,
[46:53] Speaker 3: your most beautiful act in this life? And it was,
[46:55] Speaker 3: you know, like the most powerful thing you've done up
[46:58] Speaker 3: to that.
[46:58] Speaker 1: But who's talking to you? Being. Not being. Essence?
[47:01] Speaker 3: The presence.
[47:02] Speaker 1: The presence.
[47:02] Speaker 3: Presence, yeah. It's presence, right? It's just a presence.
[47:04] Speaker 1: It's just light.
[47:05] Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just light. I'm enveloped in light.
[47:07] Speaker 1: Got it, got it.
[47:08] Speaker 3: And it's all telepathic.
[47:10] Speaker 1: It's not.
[47:10] Speaker 3: And I can't even say telepathic because it's really more
[47:13] Speaker 3: like a download, but that's not even right. It's instant.
[47:15] Speaker 3: It's just instant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was
[47:17] Speaker 3: shown like one day I was walking down some street,
[47:21] Speaker 3: don't remember where, and there was a woman sitting and
[47:25] Speaker 3: she had like a little pregnant belly and she was
[47:28] Speaker 3: just like, her hands were like this and she was
[47:30] Speaker 3: just not in a good place and you could see it.
[47:33] Speaker 3: And I was just drawn to her and I went
[47:35] Speaker 3: and I sat next to her and she kind of
[47:38] Speaker 3: looked up surprised and she was probably a homeless woman,
[47:40] Speaker 3: I'm not sure. But I said, are you okay? And
[47:45] Speaker 3: she looked at me like kind of scared, like an
[47:47] Speaker 3: animal would look at you when they're scared, like they
[47:49] Speaker 3: don't really trust you. And she's, but somehow her guard
[47:52] Speaker 3: went down and she said, no, I'm not okay. And
[47:56] Speaker 3: she told me her story, which was like, she was pregnant.
[48:00] Speaker 3: The dad didn't want the baby. She didn't have money, blah, blah, blah,
[48:03] Speaker 3: all the stuff. And I just said, I listened to
[48:05] Speaker 3: her first of all, like listening, like what you do
[48:07] Speaker 3: is so well is I just listened to her. And
[48:10] Speaker 3: then I, I said, I promise you're going to be okay.
[48:13] Speaker 3: I gave her whatever few pennies I had in my
[48:15] Speaker 3: purse and I gave her a hug and I left.
[48:19] Speaker 3: And I never thought about that woman again. Like we
[48:21] Speaker 3: didn't exchange numbers. It wasn't, it was just like, can
[48:24] Speaker 3: I give you a hug? Can I help you a
[48:26] Speaker 3: little bit? Can I give you some inspiring words? And
[48:28] Speaker 3: just like, this was like the pinnacle up to that
[48:31] Speaker 3: point in my life of what I had done and like,
[48:34] Speaker 3: You know, it wasn't like, oh, you graduated cum laude.
[48:36] Speaker 3: It wasn't like you were a famous model. It wasn't
[48:39] Speaker 3: any of this. It's like, this is what you did. Like,
[48:41] Speaker 3: this is the thing. And then, of course, shown the
[48:43] Speaker 3: other things that you've done that weren't, you know, quite
[48:46] Speaker 3: as altruistic, you know. And how, like, little things that
[48:49] Speaker 3: you did that you could have, like, been kind, but
[48:52] Speaker 3: you were cruel or just absent. You know, you just
[48:55] Speaker 3: chose not to do the thing, you know.
[48:58] Speaker 1: No, this is, so essentially, this is the life review. Yes.
[49:01] Speaker 1: This is the life review. Okay, so did you feel...
[49:04] Speaker 1: everything that was going on. So did you feel that woman's?
[49:06] Speaker 3: Yes.
[49:07] Speaker 1: Yes.
[49:08] Speaker 3: And not only did I feel it, it was like
[49:10] Speaker 3: I was her. I was her. And I also got
[49:14] Speaker 3: to see what happened as a result of my kindness.
[49:17] Speaker 3: Like she made it through. She ended up working in a,
[49:21] Speaker 3: in a help, like a woman's shelter. She found the
[49:23] Speaker 3: love of her life. They have more children and they're
[49:25] Speaker 3: helping people. And like, I saw this and I was like, oh,
[49:27] Speaker 3: that's so, you know, and that's just this ripple of
[49:30] Speaker 3: this one small kind act. Like took me five minutes
[49:34] Speaker 3: of my day that I just, instead of walking past,
[49:36] Speaker 3: I stopped and you know, this morning when I was
[49:39] Speaker 3: coming here, there was a girl sitting in Starbucks and
[49:43] Speaker 3: she was this beautiful teenage girl, probably, I don't know,
[49:46] Speaker 3: 18 or something. And she was like, you know, a
[49:48] Speaker 3: more full figure girl. And she looked kind of goth.
[49:52] Speaker 3: And I remember just feeling like she just needs a hug,
[49:55] Speaker 3: you know, like I just, so on my way out,
[49:58] Speaker 3: I walked by and I was like, Has anyone told
[50:00] Speaker 3: you how beautiful you are? Because she just, and she really,
[50:05] Speaker 3: like her eyes lit up and I says, I just
[50:07] Speaker 3: want to tell you, like, you know, and these are
[50:09] Speaker 3: the things like that we have the opportunity to do
[50:13] Speaker 3: if we're aware that so many times we don't do. Right.
[50:17] Speaker 3: And one of my things in my life is since
[50:19] Speaker 3: my near death experience and just being who I am
[50:23] Speaker 3: is that I get to do this. It's not like
[50:25] Speaker 3: the gift is also for me that I get to
[50:27] Speaker 3: be part of like that ripple. And I know how
[50:30] Speaker 3: important it is. Like, you know, these little random acts
[50:33] Speaker 3: of kindness. It's not like, oh, I'm going to give
[50:36] Speaker 3: you money and you put my name on a wall. Like,
[50:38] Speaker 3: it's more like, I'll never see you again, but I
[50:40] Speaker 3: want to help you. Like, I want to be that.
[50:44] Speaker 3: And so I was shown this 360 degree life review,
[50:48] Speaker 3: no judgment, just deep compassion. And here's the point that
[50:53] Speaker 3: you wanted to talk about, the timelines, which I call timelines.
[50:56] Speaker 3: I don't know what other people call it. But for me,
[50:57] Speaker 3: I was shown time. Think about your life, like, think
[51:00] Speaker 3: about a line. And there's all these lines here. And
[51:04] Speaker 3: let's say the center point, let's just say neutral. And
[51:06] Speaker 3: we'll say positive and negative, but only as an adjective, like,
[51:11] Speaker 3: way to think about it, not as a judgment, all right? Because,
[51:15] Speaker 3: for example, let's say you're here and you get cancer.
[51:17] Speaker 3: So we would say cancer, negative, right? But if cancer
[51:22] Speaker 3: takes you closer to the divine, closer to the truth
[51:26] Speaker 3: of love, is it a negative? You see what I'm saying?
[51:28] Speaker 3: So as I say, just relatively speaking, positive and negative, right?
[51:32] Speaker 3: So we have, and you're at a certain place, Alex,
[51:34] Speaker 3: like you're on this certain trajectory of your life. And
[51:38] Speaker 3: every little decision you make shifts that trajectory. And it's
[51:43] Speaker 3: not the giant decisions that matter as much as this,
[51:46] Speaker 3: did you open the door for the old woman? Did
[51:48] Speaker 3: you let someone in on the tollway? Were you kind
[51:52] Speaker 3: when you could have been cruel? Did you stay when
[51:53] Speaker 3: you can abandon? Did you tell the truth when you
[51:55] Speaker 3: could have lied? Like these are the, the mini little
[52:00] Speaker 3: things that take you to different crossroads that are big, right?
[52:03] Speaker 3: So I was shown all these different timelines and you
[52:06] Speaker 3: can't jump like from here to here. You can only
[52:09] Speaker 3: really move within the resonance of your current energy state.
[52:13] Speaker 3: And so you had these possible this way, possible that way.
[52:18] Speaker 3: And your choices get to choose, right? And so one
[52:21] Speaker 3: of the things I was shown is like, I had
[52:24] Speaker 3: so many possible exit points at this point, like you
[52:26] Speaker 3: could come back, you could be in a wheelchair, you
[52:30] Speaker 3: could come back, you could have some mental deficiencies, you
[52:34] Speaker 3: could come back.
[52:35] Speaker 1: These were options being tossed to you?
[52:37] Speaker 3: Yeah, I had so many, I can't even tell you
[52:40] Speaker 3: how many options.
[52:40] Speaker 1: Okay, so hold on, so this is interesting, hold on
[52:41] Speaker 1: a second, the life review. And then now the energy
[52:45] Speaker 1: that's basically you're in is saying, okay, Um, first you
[52:50] Speaker 1: do the life review solid.
[52:51] Speaker 2: Okay.
[52:52] Speaker 1: You're done there up to this point. Got it. All right. Great.
[52:54] Speaker 1: I felt her. I felt her. Oh, I should have
[52:55] Speaker 1: done that better. It got all that. Right.
[52:57] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[52:57] Speaker 1: Yeah. But now it's showing you like, okay, it asks you,
[53:01] Speaker 1: do you want to go back? Or is it like you,
[53:04] Speaker 1: you have, you're going back.
[53:06] Speaker 3: It wasn't a question. It was an option. Like, here's your,
[53:09] Speaker 3: here's what could happen for you. You get to choose. Okay.
[53:12] Speaker 1: So that's my question. Like you get to choose. It's
[53:14] Speaker 1: not even a question. Like, I do want to go back.
[53:16] Speaker 1: It's like, I guess you're going back. No.
[53:19] Speaker 3: No, no, no.
[53:20] Speaker 1: It was an option.
[53:21] Speaker 3: No, I could have exited the planet. That was an option.
[53:24] Speaker 1: I could stay.
[53:25] Speaker 3: And then I said, oh, no, no. Like when they
[53:26] Speaker 3: showed me exit the planet, I said, oh, I can't
[53:29] Speaker 3: exit the planet. I have two children. And immediately with that,
[53:32] Speaker 3: I was shown my children's life in completion.
[53:35] Speaker 1: Oh, so you saw their timelines. Yeah.
[53:38] Speaker 3: I saw that if I chose that timeline, what would
[53:42] Speaker 3: happen to them?
[53:43] Speaker 1: If you left.
[53:43] Speaker 3: And here's the surprising thing.
[53:44] Speaker 1: Interesting.
[53:46] Speaker 3: I was like shocked because I was like, oh, I
[53:48] Speaker 3: thought being a mother and a very mother hen, by
[53:51] Speaker 3: the way, I was pinnacle to their success. I think
[53:54] Speaker 3: all parents think this. But what I was shown is
[53:57] Speaker 3: that they were fine without me. I saw them at
[54:00] Speaker 3: my funeral. I saw them going to college, getting married,
[54:04] Speaker 3: having children without me. And they're like, so no, you
[54:07] Speaker 3: don't need to stay for your children. Each soul is
[54:10] Speaker 3: here for the bliss of its own experience.
[54:13] Speaker 1: Sure.
[54:13] Speaker 3: And so with or without you, your children will find
[54:16] Speaker 3: their bliss.
[54:16] Speaker 1: They'll find a way.
[54:17] Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, okay. So I get to be
[54:22] Speaker 3: their mom. So up to that point, I had this poor,
[54:26] Speaker 3: pitiful me story. I mean, I think probably, you know,
[54:31] Speaker 3: I had a tough role of it as a child.
[54:33] Speaker 3: And I had all this stuff to deal with. But
[54:37] Speaker 3: then I was like, and so I think I always
[54:40] Speaker 3: wanted to be good. So I had this backpack of
[54:42] Speaker 3: be good. But it was more of a heavy weight.
[54:46] Speaker 3: It wasn't like, I'm going to prove my mom. I'm
[54:50] Speaker 3: not a drug addict. I'm not this. I'm not that.
[54:52] Speaker 3: I'm not a loser like she said I was going
[54:54] Speaker 3: to be. It was a heavy weight. But with this experience,
[54:56] Speaker 3: the gift of it is you get to be your
[54:59] Speaker 3: children's parent. And you get to comb their hair. You
[55:04] Speaker 3: get to send them to school. You get to have
[55:07] Speaker 3: this life with them. And they're fine without you. So
[55:12] Speaker 3: if this is too much for you, you can just leave.
[55:15] Speaker 3: But you get to. And it changed my relationship with
[55:18] Speaker 3: my children because it was no longer like this heavy backpack.
[55:22] Speaker 3: I have to be a good parent. I have to
[55:23] Speaker 3: be a good daughter. I have to be a good mother.
[55:26] Speaker 3: I get to do all of this. My soul is
[55:28] Speaker 3: longing for this. And so I was shocked by it.
[55:33] Speaker 3: So back to the timeline. So then I see that
[55:35] Speaker 3: I have all these timelines, positive, negative, relatively speaking. But
[55:40] Speaker 3: this is what I want to tell you. But then
[55:42] Speaker 3: I see a timeline where I get to come back.
[55:44] Speaker 3: And this is where the presence kind of like, here's
[55:47] Speaker 3: a timeline that I think you're going to like.
[55:52] Speaker 1: It's like you're picking a movie to watch. Yes. It's fascinating.
[55:56] Speaker 3: Yes. It's like a movie. Exactly. And he shows me,
[55:59] Speaker 3: I say he, it was.
[56:00] Speaker 1: It.
[56:01] Speaker 3: Yeah. It didn't have a sex, but it was a
[56:03] Speaker 3: male presence because it was so powerful, but a female
[56:07] Speaker 3: because it was so loving, right?
[56:08] Speaker 1: It's a shim. Yes. It's a shim. Yes.
[56:12] Speaker 3: Got it. So here's a time I think you're going
[56:15] Speaker 3: to like. And he shows me that I'm going to
[56:18] Speaker 3: write a book. And I'm going to tell the world
[56:20] Speaker 3: that love is all that matters. And I was like,
[56:22] Speaker 3: my soul just lit up. I'm like, I get to
[56:25] Speaker 3: write a book about love, like, and tell the world
[56:27] Speaker 3: that love is all that matters. Like, it sounded, and
[56:30] Speaker 3: I know it's, like, very cliche, but the profundity of
[56:34] Speaker 3: it in that moment, I understood what that meant. Like,
[56:38] Speaker 3: and I get to, like. be on Alex's show.
[56:41] Speaker 1: Please don't tell me you saw me in this limelight.
[56:44] Speaker 3: Okay.
[56:45] Speaker 1: Okay. But could that be first?
[56:46] Speaker 3: But the timeline, but the timeline led me here, you know,
[56:50] Speaker 3: like if I hadn't written a book, I wouldn't be
[56:52] Speaker 3: sitting here. Like this is, this is like, I'm sure
[56:55] Speaker 3: I saw it, but I don't remember it. I'm sure
[56:57] Speaker 3: I saw a lot of different things that have happened
[56:59] Speaker 3: as a result, but that was what made me excited
[57:02] Speaker 3: about coming back. And so I was like, okay. And then,
[57:07] Speaker 3: you know, That was what I wanted to do. And
[57:09] Speaker 3: then suddenly I'm back in my body.
[57:12] Speaker 1: Your experience on the other side was basically love, comfort,
[57:17] Speaker 1: a being of some sort of energy, and basically a
[57:22] Speaker 1: life review. That was essentially the experience and the timelines. Yes.
[57:26] Speaker 3: And a complete download of information.
[57:30] Speaker 1: So explain that. What kind of download?
[57:33] Speaker 3: Like I said, like I– things that I can't remember now,
[57:36] Speaker 3: but like if I had a question about physics, I
[57:38] Speaker 3: knew everything, which I'm, by the way, I'm dyslexic. So
[57:40] Speaker 3: physics wasn't something that was, yeah. So like I, I
[57:44] Speaker 3: knew everything and, and like anything I had a question about,
[57:49] Speaker 3: I understood before I even asked a question, it was
[57:51] Speaker 3: already conveyed to me. And it was such a, such
[57:54] Speaker 3: a loving and, and I would say just not serious.
[57:59] Speaker 3: Like it's not as serious as people think, you know, like,
[58:02] Speaker 3: this whole death thing and this whole like, like creator thing.
[58:05] Speaker 3: And it's like, it was more like joyful, loving, like,
[58:10] Speaker 3: like you get to do this human thing and you
[58:13] Speaker 3: get to go back.
[58:15] Speaker 1: It's essentially like an actor putting on a character and
[58:17] Speaker 1: coming in and like, why get to go play Dr. Doom?
[58:21] Speaker 1: I go to go play, you know, Forrest Gump or
[58:24] Speaker 1: something like that. It's, it's fascinating. And the idea that
[58:29] Speaker 1: you can know everything. This is a concept I've heard
[58:32] Speaker 1: of many times in a lot of near-death experiences when
[58:34] Speaker 1: they're on the other side, like, hey, what's quantum physics? Oh,
[58:36] Speaker 1: that's what it is.
[58:37] Speaker 3: Instantly know, like everything about it.
[58:40] Speaker 1: And I call it you're being plugged into.
[58:41] Speaker 3: The cloud, the spiritual cloud, essentially.
[58:44] Speaker 1: So you're connected to all information and you have it
[58:46] Speaker 1: instantly at your disposal. But the thing that most in
[58:50] Speaker 1: the years that have that experience come back is frustration
[58:53] Speaker 1: because they can't this, can't hold on. All of that. Yeah.
[58:57] Speaker 1: Because now you're limiting.
[58:58] Speaker 3: And it really doesn't serve you either in the human experience.
[59:01] Speaker 1: If you knew all of quantum physics right now, it
[59:04] Speaker 1: would change the trajectory of your entire experience. Exactly. So
[59:07] Speaker 1: why would you?
[59:07] Speaker 3: So you come in with pre. a certain body, a
[59:12] Speaker 3: certain culture.
[59:13] Speaker 1: Of course.
[59:13] Speaker 3: A certain family environment. Genetics. Genetic, code, intellect. All of
[59:20] Speaker 3: these are predispositions that you've chosen. For your life experience.
[59:26] Speaker 3: So if all of a sudden you have a whole
[59:28] Speaker 3: different set of– like I always wished that I could
[59:31] Speaker 3: play the piano.
[59:31] Speaker 1: Oh, I want to play the guitar.
[59:33] Speaker 3: Oh, what?
[59:33] Speaker 1: It's so bad.
[59:34] Speaker 3: And I'm sure in a past life I was a pianist.
[59:36] Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely.
[59:37] Speaker 3: But this life, it wasn't like something you learn when
[59:39] Speaker 3: you're a kid. Like I took lessons when I was
[59:40] Speaker 3: a little older. But it's so much time that I
[59:43] Speaker 3: just don't have the energy to dedicate to– even though
[59:47] Speaker 3: I say I want to, like actually I guess I
[59:49] Speaker 3: don't because I'm not willing to put the time in.
[59:50] Speaker 3: But even if I did, I wouldn't be the great
[59:52] Speaker 3: pianist that somebody at five is learning pianist, you know?
[59:55] Speaker 1: Right.
[59:55] Speaker 3: And so, but I wasn't given that because... It's not
[59:58] Speaker 3: part of this journey. Yeah. And I had a dream
[1:00:00] Speaker 3: one time. This is a funny dream that I dreamed
[1:00:03] Speaker 3: about a past life where I was an accountant. I
[1:00:07] Speaker 3: was a short, fat man. And I had like pins
[1:00:10] Speaker 3: in my pocket. And I loved like drinking wine and
[1:00:13] Speaker 3: doing difficult algorithms, right? Difficult accounting algorithms. And so, and
[1:00:20] Speaker 3: that life, I remember my death exit point. I was
[1:00:24] Speaker 3: looking in the mirror and I went like that. I
[1:00:25] Speaker 3: had like a big jiggle.
[1:00:29] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[1:00:35] Speaker 2: And now back to the show.
[1:00:39] Speaker 3: And I'm like, and as I was dying, I said,
[1:00:41] Speaker 3: the reason my life sucked is because I wasn't born
[1:00:45] Speaker 3: a beautiful blonde. And I came into this physical embodiment.
[1:00:49] Speaker 3: And I have to say, I have to say that
[1:00:52] Speaker 3: I'm really grateful for this body because it's been a
[1:00:54] Speaker 3: really good body. You know, I think of my body.
[1:00:57] Speaker 3: It's a good car.
[1:00:58] Speaker 1: It's a good car. It's a good model.
[1:00:59] Speaker 3: I think of it more like a pet.
[1:01:00] Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
[1:01:01] Speaker 3: I think of my body as like a pet. Like
[1:01:03] Speaker 3: I take really good, I have like, I love animals.
[1:01:05] Speaker 3: Like I'm surrounded by animals. Sure. But I take really
[1:01:08] Speaker 3: good care of my animals and my pets. And like,
[1:01:10] Speaker 3: I feel like I've taken good care of my body
[1:01:12] Speaker 3: because I'm just really grateful. And I, and, I went
[1:01:15] Speaker 3: to an acupuncturist once because everyone in the yoga community
[1:01:19] Speaker 3: thinks that you should know about acupuncture. And I'm kind
[1:01:23] Speaker 3: of an anomaly because I love glamour. I think I
[1:01:27] Speaker 3: was a 1920s movie star because I love glamour. But
[1:01:33] Speaker 3: I'm very spiritual.
[1:01:34] Speaker 1: So those are two very different energies.
[1:01:37] Speaker 3: Yeah. And when I first started with yoga, when people
[1:01:40] Speaker 3: get into yoga, sometimes they go to India, which I did.
[1:01:44] Speaker 3: I spent many years. many months in India with many
[1:01:47] Speaker 3: different gurus. And, you know, they're wearing mala beads and
[1:01:50] Speaker 3: white clothing and this and that. And it was like,
[1:01:52] Speaker 3: this feels so inauthentic to me. And I think one
[1:01:55] Speaker 3: of the main things that is important for you, and
[1:01:59] Speaker 3: like you wearing this baseball hat and, you know, this
[1:02:02] Speaker 3: is you. You're not trying to be pretentious or like
[1:02:05] Speaker 3: spiritual or.
[1:02:06] Speaker 1: I'm not dressed like the emperor of the universe. No,
[1:02:08] Speaker 1: you're not.
[1:02:09] Speaker 3: But you're dressed like Alex, and Alex is a beautiful soul.
[1:02:13] Speaker 3: And so I... decided that i would give myself permission
[1:02:17] Speaker 3: to be me and that doesn't mean that that eliminates
[1:02:21] Speaker 3: the spiritual part of me what that means is that
[1:02:22] Speaker 3: i will have a certain audience that will understand what
[1:02:25] Speaker 3: i'm talking about like you get to be you like
[1:02:28] Speaker 3: i love being a woman i love being crystal ray
[1:02:31] Speaker 3: i love this life but i'm a very spiritual girl
[1:02:34] Speaker 3: so anyway i went to india and i had all
[1:02:36] Speaker 3: these experiences when i came back with the realization like
[1:02:39] Speaker 3: i i would i'm not going to be inauthentic I'm
[1:02:43] Speaker 3: going to tell the truth. You know, from the very
[1:02:45] Speaker 3: young age, I was like, all right, you can baptize
[1:02:47] Speaker 3: me again, but I'm not going to lie. This is,
[1:02:50] Speaker 3: this is it. So to the near death experience, which is,
[1:02:53] Speaker 3: I haven't even gotten into what's like the meaty part
[1:02:56] Speaker 3: of it.
[1:02:56] Speaker 1: Really? There's more. Okay. So real quick, when you got
[1:03:00] Speaker 1: back into your body, did you get slammed back into
[1:03:02] Speaker 1: your body? Did you just wake up in your body?
[1:03:05] Speaker 1: And did you start feeling everything that happened to your body?
[1:03:11] Speaker 3: I'm, This is miraculous, truthfully. Nobody goes off of an
[1:03:15] Speaker 3: 80-foot cliff, hits 25 feet, flips 10 times, and ends
[1:03:19] Speaker 3: up alive.
[1:03:20] Speaker 1: That's insane. But how about everybody else in the car?
[1:03:23] Speaker 3: I'll tell you. But you go to a stoplight and
[1:03:26] Speaker 3: get hit, you can die. You can walk down the
[1:03:28] Speaker 3: street and you can die.
[1:03:29] Speaker 1: You can fall in your garden, hit your head, you're done.
[1:03:31] Speaker 1: In the bathtub.
[1:03:32] Speaker 3: Absolutely.
[1:03:33] Speaker 1: Every day. Every day.
[1:03:35] Speaker 3: So I end up, I wake up in an upside-down Jeep.
[1:03:40] Speaker 3: We're in a little Jeep. And the wheels are still spinning.
[1:03:44] Speaker 3: The lights are on the wall of ice in front
[1:03:47] Speaker 3: of us that we hit. And the guy next to me,
[1:03:50] Speaker 3: the driver of the car, is full of blood. But
[1:03:53] Speaker 3: he says he's okay. And Carmen is silent or absent.
[1:03:58] Speaker 3: I have no idea. I'm shocked because go back in time.
[1:04:02] Speaker 1: Rewind.
[1:04:03] Speaker 3: I'm in this luminous presence. And I'm given the light-free view.
[1:04:08] Speaker 3: And I was shown three different things. which I don't
[1:04:11] Speaker 3: know why, but I'll share that with you. What first
[1:04:14] Speaker 3: thing is like, here's three things that you need to know.
[1:04:16] Speaker 3: First of all, you've never really, um, smelled freshly cut grass,
[1:04:24] Speaker 3: which of course I had, right?
[1:04:26] Speaker 2: Like I have.
[1:04:26] Speaker 3: And, and then I had that aroma, that earthiness. And
[1:04:30] Speaker 3: I think the metaphor here or the lesson here was
[1:04:33] Speaker 3: like the gratitude for mother earth, like just to be
[1:04:37] Speaker 3: here on this planet. Um, And you never have really
[1:04:44] Speaker 3: reached out and touched somebody. Like truly touched them. Of
[1:04:49] Speaker 3: course I had. I had two children, right? And I
[1:04:53] Speaker 3: combed their hair and so on and so forth. But
[1:04:57] Speaker 3: the gift of being able to connect in a physical way,
[1:05:00] Speaker 3: which we don't have when we're in our light bodies, right?
[1:05:03] Speaker 3: Like if I meet you, like I met you and
[1:05:08] Speaker 3: your beautiful wife, right? it's a hug. Like I connect,
[1:05:12] Speaker 3: you know, in that way. And I'm not sure why
[1:05:16] Speaker 3: I was showing you, but I've shown that this was
[1:05:18] Speaker 3: the most poignant thing of like, you know, being able
[1:05:21] Speaker 3: to connect in a human way. And I've heard a
[1:05:23] Speaker 3: lot of gurus say like, you don't want people to
[1:05:26] Speaker 3: get their dirty energy on you or something like that.
[1:05:28] Speaker 3: I don't like that idea. And for me, it doesn't work.
[1:05:31] Speaker 3: I'm not going to judge anyone else because what I
[1:05:34] Speaker 3: believe is that we're all the same. Like you are
[1:05:37] Speaker 3: me and I am you. And If they have dirty energy,
[1:05:40] Speaker 3: that's my energy too. And I also believe that I
[1:05:43] Speaker 3: don't take on anything. It won't be in my residence
[1:05:46] Speaker 3: if it's not in alignment with me. But anyway, so
[1:05:49] Speaker 3: I had these things. Like you've never really touched anyone.
[1:05:53] Speaker 3: You've never really smelled freshly cut grass.
[1:05:58] Speaker 1: Is this mental?
[1:05:59] Speaker 3: No, this is like a whole movie.
[1:06:01] Speaker 1: But this is in... Oh, in the other space. Got it.
[1:06:04] Speaker 1: In the other space.
[1:06:06] Speaker 3: And then suddenly I'm like... There's this knowing that I'm
[1:06:12] Speaker 3: dead or whatever. I don't know how to explain it.
[1:06:14] Speaker 1: On the other side.
[1:06:16] Speaker 3: On the other side. And I'm like, okay, so all
[1:06:19] Speaker 3: of this is so beautiful. Oh, the other part I
[1:06:22] Speaker 3: didn't mention is I've never seen the sun rise or set.
[1:06:25] Speaker 1: Had you never seen this?
[1:06:27] Speaker 3: Of course I had. Oh, okay.
[1:06:28] Speaker 1: Yes, of course.
[1:06:29] Speaker 3: But I was shown like kind of the metaphor is
[1:06:31] Speaker 3: like you've been absent in your own life.
[1:06:34] Speaker 1: I got it.
[1:06:34] Speaker 3: And then the metaphor of the sun rising and setting
[1:06:37] Speaker 3: is the the beauty of a new day, like the
[1:06:40] Speaker 3: gift of a new day. And then also like how
[1:06:43] Speaker 3: important night is because night is where we rest, you know,
[1:06:46] Speaker 3: where we, without, without sleep, we wouldn't make it in
[1:06:50] Speaker 3: this planet. Cause I think we leave our bodies and
[1:06:52] Speaker 3: go somewhere else. But anyway, so then at the end
[1:06:55] Speaker 3: of that, then I was like, well, that's beautiful. That's nice.
[1:06:59] Speaker 3: But it's too late for me. Cause I mean, I'm
[1:07:01] Speaker 3: rolling down a cliff.
[1:07:02] Speaker 1: I'm dying or dead.
[1:07:03] Speaker 3: I'm dying or I'm dead. So it's too late for me.
[1:07:07] Speaker 3: And I remember thinking, because I don't have fear of death, well,
[1:07:13] Speaker 3: at least I'm getting to go back into the light.
[1:07:15] Speaker 3: That was my last thought. I'm going to the light.
[1:07:17] Speaker 3: And I was kind of excited about it. I'm not
[1:07:19] Speaker 3: going to lie. I was like, okay, well, it was
[1:07:22] Speaker 3: almost like all these things I was shown that I
[1:07:24] Speaker 3: hadn't really seen or done that were available to me.
[1:07:27] Speaker 3: It's just like simple things like just seeing a little
[1:07:31] Speaker 3: yellow flower stuck in the grass that you don't even
[1:07:33] Speaker 3: see it. You've seen it so many times that you
[1:07:35] Speaker 3: don't see it. Like one of the questions I always
[1:07:37] Speaker 3: ask my kids, My students is like, how many trees
[1:07:40] Speaker 3: are out in front of our studio? Nobody ever knows
[1:07:43] Speaker 3: because they don't see it. And one of the gifts
[1:07:46] Speaker 3: of that experience was like to just to be more present,
[1:07:50] Speaker 3: but I'm like, okay, so it's too late for me.
[1:07:53] Speaker 3: I'm going to go into the light. I was excited.
[1:07:54] Speaker 3: And then to your question, I awoken my body upside down.
[1:08:01] Speaker 3: He is covered in blood. She's absent.
[1:08:05] Speaker 1: You say absent, meaning that she's in the body.
[1:08:08] Speaker 3: I had no idea where she was.
[1:08:09] Speaker 1: Oh, you didn't see her.
[1:08:10] Speaker 3: I couldn't see her.
[1:08:11] Speaker 1: Got it.
[1:08:11] Speaker 3: I have no idea. And to this day, I still
[1:08:13] Speaker 3: don't know where, if she was in the car, out
[1:08:14] Speaker 3: the car, I'm not even sure. But I couldn't see her.
[1:08:17] Speaker 3: It was dark. And I remember I was like, oh
[1:08:19] Speaker 3: my God, I'm alive. I get to be my children's.
[1:08:22] Speaker 1: Are you feeling in pain?
[1:08:24] Speaker 2: No, Alex.
[1:08:26] Speaker 3: I miraculously came out of there. I had, and I'll
[1:08:28] Speaker 3: tell you the story about the broken neck, but I
[1:08:31] Speaker 3: had a broken neck and that was it. But no,
[1:08:33] Speaker 3: I'm- I feel fine. I climb up this 80 foot cliff.
[1:08:39] Speaker 3: And I'm not like, you know, a mountain climber girl,
[1:08:42] Speaker 3: but I climb up the cliff and I'm so excited
[1:08:45] Speaker 3: that I'm alive. And I get up to the top
[1:08:48] Speaker 3: of the mountain and there's this huge line of cars
[1:08:51] Speaker 3: and people looking at me and they're like, do you
[1:08:53] Speaker 3: know what happened? And I'm like, yes, there's my my
[1:08:56] Speaker 3: cousins down there. There's another person down there. So they
[1:09:00] Speaker 3: send like a stretcher. I think you're going to need
[1:09:02] Speaker 3: a stretcher. They send a stretcher down the mountain and.
[1:09:04] Speaker 1: They get the rest of it. Yeah.
[1:09:06] Speaker 3: And, and then they bring them up. But meanwhile, I'm like,
[1:09:09] Speaker 3: if you touch me or if you get close to me,
[1:09:12] Speaker 3: I know your deepest fear and sorrow.
[1:09:15] Speaker 1: You knew this already.
[1:09:16] Speaker 3: No, of anybody who came close to me.
[1:09:18] Speaker 1: No, but so you discovered that?
[1:09:19] Speaker 3: No, it happened right there and then.
[1:09:21] Speaker 1: So you discovered that? Yes. It wasn't a knowing, you
[1:09:24] Speaker 1: just like, oh.
[1:09:25] Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, wait, what? And I knew that, and
[1:09:29] Speaker 3: I had this premonition that somebody was stealing my purse.
[1:09:33] Speaker 3: And it was a guy with, I know, I have
[1:09:36] Speaker 3: just got out of this car and he's in there
[1:09:37] Speaker 3: stealing my purse, which was horrific to me because I
[1:09:40] Speaker 3: had my airline ticket, my credit cards. I was, that
[1:09:42] Speaker 3: was my ticket home and I wanted home, right?
[1:09:45] Speaker 1: And how did you feel that?
[1:09:47] Speaker 3: No, I saw like, to your point, it was like
[1:09:49] Speaker 3: a movie that I saw this guy with rubber boots
[1:09:53] Speaker 3: running and he had my purse. And I kept telling people,
[1:09:56] Speaker 3: please get my purse because I couldn't force myself to
[1:09:59] Speaker 3: go back down there. I just couldn't. And so they
[1:10:03] Speaker 3: bring my cousin up on a, who was the most
[1:10:06] Speaker 3: critically injured, by the way. And we'll get into that.
[1:10:10] Speaker 3: And they brought the driver up and then She gets
[1:10:14] Speaker 3: air flighted and we go in ambulances, I believe. We
[1:10:18] Speaker 3: get to the hospital and I don't even know how
[1:10:22] Speaker 3: we get there because I think I'm still in shock.
[1:10:24] Speaker 3: I mean, this is a traumatic experience. It's not only
[1:10:27] Speaker 3: are you just been thrown off the cliff, out of
[1:10:29] Speaker 3: your body, had the spiritual experience, people are stealing your purse,
[1:10:33] Speaker 3: you are freezing because I'm always freezing and I'm freezing.
[1:10:36] Speaker 3: And I'm in shock. So I get to the hospital
[1:10:38] Speaker 3: and we came in and then they bring Carmen in
[1:10:41] Speaker 3: and there was this male nurse and he starts to like,
[1:10:48] Speaker 3: you know, berate us. Were you drinking? Were you doing drugs?
[1:10:52] Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't even drink. They had one
[1:10:55] Speaker 3: glass of wine, but nobody was drunk. And I was like, no.
[1:10:58] Speaker 3: And they said, a woman came in yesterday. This is
[1:11:00] Speaker 3: what this guy said to me. And she had less
[1:11:05] Speaker 3: injuries than your cousin and she's dead. And that's manslaughter.
[1:11:08] Speaker 3: That's what he said to me.
[1:11:10] Speaker 1: Wow.
[1:11:10] Speaker 3: And we need to get like a blood test or whatever.
[1:11:12] Speaker 3: And I'm like, what? And like, I'm like, she's going
[1:11:14] Speaker 3: to die. And this is where it gets really groovy,
[1:11:16] Speaker 3: but I'm going to share it anyway.
[1:11:17] Speaker 1: Please.
[1:11:18] Speaker 3: So then I kind of pushed my way into where I.
[1:11:21] Speaker 1: With a broken neck.
[1:11:22] Speaker 3: Okay. I'll talk about the broken neck.
[1:11:24] Speaker 1: I'm just wondering.
[1:11:25] Speaker 3: So I pushed my way in and nobody knows about
[1:11:28] Speaker 3: the broken neck yet.
[1:11:30] Speaker 1: Of course.
[1:11:30] Speaker 3: Okay. So I pushed my way in and then I
[1:11:33] Speaker 3: I see Carmen on the gurney and I put my
[1:11:35] Speaker 3: hand on her and literally a bolt of lightning goes
[1:11:38] Speaker 3: through the top of my head and through my hands
[1:11:41] Speaker 3: and ripples through Carmen right there in front of everybody.
[1:11:44] Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, she's going to be okay. And
[1:11:48] Speaker 3: I was just calm. I was like, oh, she's going
[1:11:50] Speaker 3: to be okay. She was still in coma. She was
[1:11:52] Speaker 3: still out, but I knew she was going to. And
[1:11:54] Speaker 3: then that moment, that guy, the nurse grabs my arm.
[1:11:57] Speaker 3: And when he did, he pulled me because I'm not
[1:11:59] Speaker 3: supposed to be.
[1:12:00] Speaker 1: In the Wow, this guy's a winner.
[1:12:02] Speaker 3: He's not a nice guy. But when he does, I
[1:12:05] Speaker 3: see like a video of him the night before beating
[1:12:08] Speaker 3: his girlfriend or wife or whoever.
[1:12:09] Speaker 1: There it is.
[1:12:10] Speaker 3: And then I was like, it was like horrified. And
[1:12:14] Speaker 3: I pulled away and I was like, this is too
[1:12:16] Speaker 3: much for me. So I ran to the bathroom and
[1:12:18] Speaker 3: I literally just went into the corner. I was like,
[1:12:20] Speaker 3: just don't anyone touch me, you know? And then finally
[1:12:24] Speaker 3: this woman came in, a nurse, and she said, we
[1:12:27] Speaker 3: need to x-ray you because I said my neck does hurt.
[1:12:29] Speaker 1: I got a kink.
[1:12:31] Speaker 3: No, but it gets even weirder. Like, this is like
[1:12:33] Speaker 3: a crazy story. Sure, sure, sure. It's so crazy that
[1:12:36] Speaker 3: it's almost hard for me to believe, but it happened
[1:12:38] Speaker 3: to me, you know? So then I'm in there, and
[1:12:40] Speaker 3: so I said, I'll come out as long as that
[1:12:42] Speaker 3: man is not there. And she said, okay. She was
[1:12:45] Speaker 3: really kind, and she gave me a warm blanket. Thank
[1:12:47] Speaker 3: you for the warm blanket. And then they took me
[1:12:50] Speaker 3: into x-rays. And then they took the first x-ray of
[1:12:53] Speaker 3: my neck, and they came back and they said, you
[1:12:57] Speaker 3: have a broken neck. And I said, oh, no, no, no.
[1:13:01] Speaker 3: That wasn't on my timeline.
[1:13:03] Speaker 1: I didn't see that.
[1:13:04] Speaker 3: That was not on my timeline. And I said, you
[1:13:07] Speaker 3: need to take that again. And here's the thing. Broken
[1:13:09] Speaker 3: neck was very close option for me. I think that's
[1:13:12] Speaker 3: why that kind of drifted over, if that makes sense.
[1:13:15] Speaker 3: And then they took the second, third, and fourth, no break.
[1:13:19] Speaker 1: No break.
[1:13:20] Speaker 3: No break. And they made me sign a paperwork saying
[1:13:23] Speaker 3: they're not responsible if my neck is broken. They couldn't
[1:13:25] Speaker 3: explain it. They wanted me to stay the night. And
[1:13:27] Speaker 3: I said, I'm not staying the night. There's no break.
[1:13:30] Speaker 3: You can't make me stay. I'm not staying. I want
[1:13:32] Speaker 3: to go home.
[1:13:34] Speaker 1: You had no other injuries?
[1:13:36] Speaker 3: I had a severe. My neck, I could turn like
[1:13:39] Speaker 3: this for a year and a half. So I guess
[1:13:42] Speaker 3: it was a whiplash is what they would call it.
[1:13:44] Speaker 1: Yeah, you had whiplash.
[1:13:45] Speaker 3: Yeah, but what I did is I put my hand
[1:13:48] Speaker 3: on my neck. And when I did, I had that
[1:13:50] Speaker 3: same energy. And then I felt, I mean, I think
[1:13:56] Speaker 3: I just healed my neck in that moment. And I
[1:13:58] Speaker 3: was like, you need to take that again.
[1:13:59] Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah.
[1:14:02] Speaker 3: And it was so profound.
[1:14:05] Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you a question. So it seems like,
[1:14:08] Speaker 1: and this has happened with a lot of near-death experiencers,
[1:14:10] Speaker 1: it also happens with babies and also people who are
[1:14:15] Speaker 1: about to die. As the closer you are to the veil,
[1:14:17] Speaker 1: certain things open up and certain things come through. So-
[1:14:22] Speaker 1: a lot of young children remember their past lives and
[1:14:26] Speaker 1: talk about it. And they can see imaginary friends and
[1:14:29] Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, which are guides or whatever.
[1:14:32] Speaker 1: So it seemed that like you just came back from dying.
[1:14:35] Speaker 1: You were still kind of close time-wise to what just happened.
[1:14:41] Speaker 1: So I guess that doorway was, oh, because I'm assuming now,
[1:14:44] Speaker 1: and I'm just assuming now you don't touch somebody and
[1:14:46] Speaker 1: lightning goes through you or does it? I'm just asking.
[1:14:50] Speaker 1: I'm just asking. I'm just getting clear on.
[1:14:53] Speaker 3: So I didn't want any of these gifts. Okay. So
[1:14:57] Speaker 3: I'm going to continue and you'll see what happens. So
[1:15:01] Speaker 3: I go home. I finally make my way home. I
[1:15:03] Speaker 3: had to call my ex-husband to come and save me.
[1:15:05] Speaker 3: Thank you, God. He's such a good guy. He came
[1:15:07] Speaker 3: in to my, I have no money. I have no purse.
[1:15:09] Speaker 3: I have no name. I'm like, I'm on a trip
[1:15:11] Speaker 3: with another man. Like I just like, please, can you
[1:15:13] Speaker 3: send me a ticket?
[1:15:14] Speaker 1: Can you? Anyway.
[1:15:16] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[1:15:23] Speaker 2: And now back to the show.
[1:15:26] Speaker 3: I finally get home, but I have the weirdest things happening.
[1:15:30] Speaker 3: Like I can't. Noise is magnified. Sound is magnified. light
[1:15:36] Speaker 3: is magnified i can't like i closed my curtains i
[1:15:40] Speaker 3: i literally i started seeing auras around people.
[1:15:44] Speaker 1: Everything was wide open and i didn't even.
[1:15:46] Speaker 3: Know what the word aura was like i had no
[1:15:48] Speaker 3: idea what was going on i thought i was literally
[1:15:50] Speaker 3: losing my mind i'm like i didn't want anyone touching
[1:15:53] Speaker 3: me because if they did i knew everything about them
[1:15:56] Speaker 3: and i felt like it was invasive and i didn't
[1:15:58] Speaker 3: want to know and yeah does that still exist i
[1:16:01] Speaker 3: have learned how to shut that door because it wasn't
[1:16:06] Speaker 3: my life path to be a psychic. And people say, well,
[1:16:09] Speaker 3: can you still heal or can you still do that?
[1:16:12] Speaker 3: I'm like, we're all healers. I could probably do that
[1:16:14] Speaker 3: if that's what the energy of the universe wanted me
[1:16:17] Speaker 3: to do, but that's not my goal in this lifetime.
[1:16:21] Speaker 3: My goal is to come back and write a book
[1:16:22] Speaker 3: and tell people about love, which we haven't even got to,
[1:16:25] Speaker 3: but So for these next two weeks, I'm locked up.
[1:16:27] Speaker 3: And I said, I need to get out of my–
[1:16:29] Speaker 3: I have children to raise. I have a life to live.
[1:16:32] Speaker 3: I need to figure out what to do. So then
[1:16:33] Speaker 3: I said, I'm going to go visit Carmen. Now, Carmen
[1:16:36] Speaker 3: had 90% brain damage.
[1:16:38] Speaker 1: Oh, my God. And– Is she okay now?
[1:16:43] Speaker 3: A miraculous story.
[1:16:44] Speaker 1: Okay.
[1:16:45] Speaker 3: Miraculous story. So I go back to the hospital. And
[1:16:50] Speaker 3: her mom is Catholic and very devout Catholic. And so
[1:16:55] Speaker 3: I go in and I see Carmen. And Carmen, like
[1:16:57] Speaker 3: I said, is beautiful. But that was not the woman
[1:17:00] Speaker 3: I saw laying in this bed, right, when I walked in.
[1:17:03] Speaker 3: Her eyes were, she broke every bone in her face.
[1:17:06] Speaker 3: Her eye sockets included. She had rubber bands holding her teeth.
[1:17:10] Speaker 3: And it was scary. It was like, and so I
[1:17:13] Speaker 3: calmed myself down. I said, Crystal, I literally talked to
[1:17:17] Speaker 3: myself in third person. This is your cousin Carmen and
[1:17:20] Speaker 3: you love her. So I walk over to the bed.
[1:17:23] Speaker 3: I calm myself down. Her mom is there, the nurse there,
[1:17:26] Speaker 3: doctor there. She's in a coma, and I put my
[1:17:28] Speaker 3: hands on her. And Alex, she opens her eyes.
[1:17:34] Speaker 1: Okay.
[1:17:36] Speaker 3: She opens her eyes, and she sits up.
[1:17:38] Speaker 1: Wow.
[1:17:39] Speaker 3: She gets out of bed. She's insistent to get out,
[1:17:42] Speaker 3: and she comes over to me. And this is the
[1:17:44] Speaker 3: most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me. She said, Crystal,
[1:17:48] Speaker 3: I'm in the light. I'm gleaming. I've never been so radiant.
[1:17:54] Speaker 3: I am a star.
[1:17:57] Speaker 1: Wow.
[1:17:58] Speaker 3: Now, if you remember my childhood story.
[1:18:00] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all stars, yeah. I am
[1:18:03] Speaker 1: a star.
[1:18:04] Speaker 3: She gets back in her bed and goes back into coma.
[1:18:07] Speaker 3: Her mom, her doctor, the nurse, everyone's like, what just happened?
[1:18:11] Speaker 3: I have no idea what just happened. I'm like, okay.
[1:18:14] Speaker 3: And I mean, I was just so, I knew that
[1:18:16] Speaker 3: affirmation was for me and I was so grateful to
[1:18:18] Speaker 3: the universe. And so then I came back a couple
[1:18:22] Speaker 3: more times. Next time she sat up, and her bed
[1:18:26] Speaker 3: and she said she's in coma she said don't forget
[1:18:30] Speaker 3: you're going to write a book and tell the world
[1:18:31] Speaker 3: that love is all that matters and in that book
[1:18:34] Speaker 3: one thing i forgot to mention is when i was
[1:18:37] Speaker 3: in the presence and given the option of the timeline
[1:18:40] Speaker 3: of the book he said don't he told me or
[1:18:42] Speaker 3: she or it including your book that sound and light
[1:18:46] Speaker 3: is the future of medicine and like okay so she
[1:18:50] Speaker 3: sits up in her bed says you're gonna write a
[1:18:53] Speaker 3: book and don't forget to include sound and light is
[1:18:57] Speaker 3: the future of medicine and she goes back into coma
[1:19:01] Speaker 3: and I'm like what is it.
[1:19:04] Speaker 1: Going on So she's having her own experience. Oh, no.
[1:19:07] Speaker 3: She told me that she had three beings of light. Oh, wow.
[1:19:10] Speaker 1: So she had her own near-death experience.
[1:19:12] Speaker 3: Well, she was there. And they told her that they
[1:19:14] Speaker 3: had been with her for all her lives. And she
[1:19:18] Speaker 3: was going to be okay. And that's just a whole
[1:19:21] Speaker 3: different story. She doesn't remember what she said to me
[1:19:24] Speaker 3: when she was– now she's at a different place in
[1:19:26] Speaker 3: her life. Anyway, that's a different story. But anyhow, so
[1:19:30] Speaker 3: I go back. And then next time I come to
[1:19:32] Speaker 3: visit Karma, I was uninvited by her mom. She was like,
[1:19:37] Speaker 3: they thought I was doing some kind of like poltergeist
[1:19:39] Speaker 3: or something.
[1:19:40] Speaker 1: Oh, Jesus.
[1:19:41] Speaker 3: And I'm like.
[1:19:41] Speaker 1: Good Lord.
[1:19:43] Speaker 3: The ignorance is massive. I know. So I'm like, okay.
[1:19:46] Speaker 3: So I was uninvited. But I started to, you know,
[1:19:49] Speaker 3: really explore what all of this gifts were of like,
[1:19:52] Speaker 3: and how to like shut the energy down. And, you know,
[1:19:57] Speaker 3: I started to learn. I had this experience where I
[1:20:00] Speaker 3: was sitting, I was watching, I don't know if you've
[1:20:02] Speaker 3: seen this movie called The Veil is Lifting.
[1:20:04] Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
[1:20:05] Speaker 2: It's about orbs.
[1:20:05] Speaker 3: You need to watch it. It's called The Veil is Lifting,
[1:20:10] Speaker 3: and it's about orbs.
[1:20:11] Speaker 1: Is it a documentary?
[1:20:12] Speaker 3: It's a documentary, and it's an older one. But I
[1:20:16] Speaker 3: was watching, actually, I was watching this YouTube channel about
[1:20:19] Speaker 3: near-death experience, and there was this woman filming her mom dying.
[1:20:24] Speaker 3: And this woman had these beautiful sparkling lights and orbs
[1:20:27] Speaker 3: all around, and it was just fascinating, and she was like,
[1:20:32] Speaker 3: Taking this video of it, and I didn't get to this.
[1:20:35] Speaker 3: I should tell you how I got to this. I'm
[1:20:37] Speaker 3: sitting there watching this movie about near-death experiences. I hear
[1:20:40] Speaker 3: a noise in my kitchen. I'm a single woman. I
[1:20:43] Speaker 3: have cameras everywhere, right? Because I had children. At this point,
[1:20:47] Speaker 3: the kids were gone. But I go and check my cameras.
[1:20:50] Speaker 3: So I see myself walking in the kitchen, and I
[1:20:53] Speaker 3: see these three lights following me. Orbs. And I have
[1:20:58] Speaker 3: no context for what an orb is. And I'm like, okay,
[1:21:02] Speaker 3: well that's dust on the camera. But then I noticed
[1:21:04] Speaker 3: as I walk.
[1:21:05] Speaker 1: Out of the room, different angles have the same word.
[1:21:06] Speaker 3: They follow me. Sure. And I walk back in, they
[1:21:09] Speaker 3: follow me. So now I'm like, you know, looking on
[1:21:12] Speaker 3: my computer, what is this light following me? Like, I
[1:21:15] Speaker 3: thought it was like, I have no idea what this is.
[1:21:17] Speaker 1: Right.
[1:21:17] Speaker 3: And then the word orb came up and that's when
[1:21:19] Speaker 3: I look for orbs. And that's when I find this
[1:21:22] Speaker 3: lady filming her mother. So I'm like, fascinated by the
[1:21:27] Speaker 3: fact that I have these three orbs following me around.
[1:21:30] Speaker 3: So there's all these really metaphysical things and I'm, you know,
[1:21:34] Speaker 3: I don't have a shingle hanging out and I never
[1:21:36] Speaker 3: got my cards read. And, you know, like all of
[1:21:39] Speaker 3: the stuff wasn't like part of my, of my, my,
[1:21:43] Speaker 3: my world. And so then I, I said, okay, I'm
[1:21:46] Speaker 3: going to feel myself meditating. I don't know if you've
[1:21:50] Speaker 3: ever done this.
[1:21:50] Speaker 1: I've actually never filmed myself meditating.
[1:21:52] Speaker 3: Okay, so I filmed myself meditating. And you have to
[1:21:56] Speaker 3: do it with your camera, not in selfie mode, but
[1:21:59] Speaker 3: like your camera camera in a dark room. And I
[1:22:02] Speaker 3: have these orbs all around me when I'm meditating, but
[1:22:04] Speaker 3: they only show up on the camera. So you should try.
[1:22:07] Speaker 1: I will. That's actually a really interesting idea.
[1:22:09] Speaker 3: It's really, really fascinating. Here's the thing. If you have fear,
[1:22:13] Speaker 3: any fear, they won't.
[1:22:14] Speaker 1: No, no, no.
[1:22:15] Speaker 3: Because what's happening is you're aligning with a higher vibrational resonance.
[1:22:20] Speaker 3: So you have to be aligned with that. But anyway,
[1:22:23] Speaker 3: so that happened. And then you have to decide what
[1:22:27] Speaker 3: are you going to do with this? How am I
[1:22:29] Speaker 3: going to do? So I signed up for classes in college.
[1:22:34] Speaker 3: And I was like, all right, if I'm going to
[1:22:35] Speaker 3: write a book, Let me take some writing classes.
[1:22:37] Speaker 1: Orb 101? No.
[1:22:40] Speaker 3: Orb 101.
[1:22:40] Speaker 1: Orbs 101.
[1:22:41] Speaker 3: And I remember my first class, the guy said, there's
[1:22:44] Speaker 3: no empty space in the universe. They've just discovered this
[1:22:46] Speaker 3: thing called dark matter. I mean, the universe is so beautiful, right?
[1:22:50] Speaker 3: Because this is something I was as a child, right?
[1:22:53] Speaker 3: And I said, well, I'm just going to get a
[1:22:55] Speaker 3: non-degree seeking, you know.
[1:22:58] Speaker 1: Clear some courses, yeah.
[1:22:59] Speaker 3: But I made straight A's. And I became teacher's pet
[1:23:02] Speaker 3: because I was like, As old as the teachers, I
[1:23:05] Speaker 3: was 35 and I was back in school. And I said,
[1:23:08] Speaker 3: one of my teachers was a really good friend of
[1:23:10] Speaker 3: mine who's now passed, but he was like, Crystal, you
[1:23:11] Speaker 3: should just get your degree because you're making straight A's.
[1:23:13] Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, but that would include math.
[1:23:17] Speaker 1: Oh, thank you.
[1:23:18] Speaker 3: You're welcome.
[1:23:19] Speaker 1: Thank you. I hate, I can't stand math.
[1:23:21] Speaker 3: I'm dyslexic.
[1:23:21] Speaker 1: I can't stand math.
[1:23:23] Speaker 3: Math is really challenging. It stopped me.
[1:23:25] Speaker 1: It stopped me.
[1:23:25] Speaker 3: So he said, just take some elementary classes, which I
[1:23:28] Speaker 3: did twice. And I think I made one B in college,
[1:23:30] Speaker 3: which I call sadistics.
[1:23:33] Speaker 1: It is sadistic.
[1:23:33] Speaker 3: Sadistic. But anyway, so I got my degree, um, just because,
[1:23:38] Speaker 3: and then I wrote my first book, which was never
[1:23:40] Speaker 3: published because this is more of a book and it
[1:23:43] Speaker 3: was like me as a child and going through all these, like,
[1:23:47] Speaker 3: like some horrible stories, like, uh, that happened and how
[1:23:51] Speaker 3: it had served me as an adult, you know, like
[1:23:53] Speaker 3: those stories, like one vivid scene I have from a
[1:23:57] Speaker 3: child is my real father. I don't know what I did,
[1:24:00] Speaker 3: but I did something wrong. And he took my head
[1:24:02] Speaker 3: and dunked it underwater in a bathtub until I passed out.
[1:24:05] Speaker 3: And then just left me on the floor. Like, that's
[1:24:07] Speaker 3: not normal childhood punishment, you know?
[1:24:10] Speaker 1: No, no.
[1:24:10] Speaker 3: But I remember, like, when I was under the water,
[1:24:13] Speaker 3: looking at the drain and thinking, I wish I could
[1:24:17] Speaker 3: just disappear.
[1:24:18] Speaker 1: Hmm.
[1:24:21] Speaker 3: And so that book had a lot of those kind
[1:24:23] Speaker 3: of horror stories where I would reflect back and it
[1:24:25] Speaker 3: was a lot of crying going on.
[1:24:27] Speaker 1: You just needed to get it out.
[1:24:28] Speaker 3: I had to get it out. But when I read it,
[1:24:30] Speaker 3: it was so dark that I'm like, this is not
[1:24:31] Speaker 3: going to help anyone.
[1:24:33] Speaker 1: This is just me vomiting.
[1:24:34] Speaker 3: It's just me. Yeah. And it's not even true.
[1:24:36] Speaker 1: It helps you. It was just for you.
[1:24:38] Speaker 3: And it's not even true. Like this whole thing, like
[1:24:42] Speaker 3: it's not even true. Like the truth of my existence
[1:24:44] Speaker 3: is that I chose this so that I would understand
[1:24:47] Speaker 3: children that have been abused, that have been abandoned. And
[1:24:51] Speaker 3: that people who have problem with addictions, I've been surrounded
[1:24:53] Speaker 3: by people who have addictions. I've never had it, but
[1:24:56] Speaker 3: I have my mom with addiction. My daughter, I almost
[1:24:58] Speaker 3: lost to drugs and alcohol, which she's been sober for
[1:25:00] Speaker 3: like eight years. And she's like beautiful, radiant being doing
[1:25:04] Speaker 3: her thing. But like I am a pinnacle point. So
[1:25:08] Speaker 3: I think you come in sometimes as a bodhisattva. Meaning
[1:25:12] Speaker 3: that you, and I think this is one of the
[1:25:14] Speaker 3: things that you do, is that you're the pinnacle point
[1:25:17] Speaker 3: where you help people to heal. Because you... you facilitate
[1:25:21] Speaker 3: all this wisdom and knowledge through your show. And I
[1:25:24] Speaker 3: think my presence, I've been really able to help so
[1:25:27] Speaker 3: many people heal through my practice, through my mentorship, and
[1:25:32] Speaker 3: just through my beingness. Like this little girl I saw
[1:25:34] Speaker 3: at Starbucks, like those are significant things. Like those are
[1:25:37] Speaker 3: what really matter in life. You know, yes, the big
[1:25:40] Speaker 3: things matter, but like this everydayness, this how can we
[1:25:45] Speaker 3: truly love one another in a real human way? Not
[1:25:48] Speaker 3: like just floating up and being in an orb filled
[1:25:52] Speaker 3: world of meditation, right? Which is beautiful. I'm not saying,
[1:25:55] Speaker 3: but can you just be real? Can you be human?
[1:25:58] Speaker 3: And I think one of the gifts that I have
[1:26:00] Speaker 3: that it came back with that, that I want to
[1:26:02] Speaker 3: share with the planet that is, you know, I always
[1:26:05] Speaker 3: start with the thing. Like when I see someone, I
[1:26:07] Speaker 3: know that I love them. Like I saw you, I
[1:26:10] Speaker 3: love you. I love your wife. I love your children
[1:26:13] Speaker 3: who haven't met. I love this little girl I just saw,
[1:26:15] Speaker 3: but It's the kind of love like people are like, yeah, whatever.
[1:26:18] Speaker 3: You don't even know me. I don't need to know
[1:26:20] Speaker 3: you because I love your soul.
[1:26:22] Speaker 1: But you're seeing the truth. The truth.
[1:26:25] Speaker 3: You're seeing the light.
[1:26:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, we're all connected. We're all one.
[1:26:30] Speaker 3: But then it's not just this esoteric kind of love.
[1:26:32] Speaker 3: It's like in a human way. I see your fragileness.
[1:26:35] Speaker 3: I see your shadows. I see your light. And if
[1:26:39] Speaker 3: my presence in your life, And I think this is
[1:26:42] Speaker 3: a real gift of coming back. Like, yes, it's very interesting,
[1:26:45] Speaker 3: all these near-death experiences. By the way, I know people
[1:26:47] Speaker 3: are curious about Carmen, so I should finish that story.
[1:26:52] Speaker 3: Carmen had 18 operations on her face. She was never
[1:26:55] Speaker 3: the raving beauty that she was, but she's beautiful. She
[1:26:59] Speaker 3: came miraculous, came out of that, where they said she'd
[1:27:03] Speaker 3: never be able to walk again, talk, and she's normal.
[1:27:06] Speaker 3: She has almost 90% of her intellect back. She was
[1:27:10] Speaker 3: a beautifully... She became the lead clarinetist, not just the
[1:27:13] Speaker 3: clarinetist for the Dallas Opera. She has her own like
[1:27:18] Speaker 3: real estate company, met the love of her life. Like
[1:27:21] Speaker 3: her life is fine.
[1:27:22] Speaker 1: Her timeline is fantastic.
[1:27:23] Speaker 3: Her timeline is fine.
[1:27:25] Speaker 1: How did she deal with you and this?
[1:27:28] Speaker 3: Well, in the beginning, it was hard. And I don't
[1:27:30] Speaker 3: blame her for this because she had her mother's influence.
[1:27:33] Speaker 3: But she was like, life sucks and bad things happen
[1:27:35] Speaker 3: to nice people. That was her philosophy. And we just
[1:27:38] Speaker 3: kind of went, you know. Because I was like, no,
[1:27:41] Speaker 3: that's- That's not what I know.
[1:27:42] Speaker 1: That's not my experience.
[1:27:43] Speaker 3: That's my truth. And I'm not judging her for that
[1:27:46] Speaker 3: experience because I didn't break every bone in my face.
[1:27:48] Speaker 1: Oh, no.
[1:27:49] Speaker 3: I mean, I didn't have, you know, like- She went
[1:27:51] Speaker 3: through some stuff. Her stuff was, it was hard. So,
[1:27:55] Speaker 3: and she's evolved since then.
[1:27:58] Speaker 1: You guys have come back.
[1:27:58] Speaker 3: Literally, when I wrote the book, because as I said,
[1:28:01] Speaker 3: people who are really attached to details can get a
[1:28:04] Speaker 3: little irritated with me because I'm not, I can't, I
[1:28:07] Speaker 3: don't have a grasp on time. So I called Carmen.
[1:28:11] Speaker 3: I was like, hey, Carmen, when did this happen? Like,
[1:28:14] Speaker 3: tell me the date because people are going to ask
[1:28:16] Speaker 3: me and I don't, I didn't write it down on
[1:28:18] Speaker 3: my calendar.
[1:28:18] Speaker 1: So it's like.
[1:28:18] Speaker 3: February 23rd, 1997 is when this happened. But I mean,
[1:28:24] Speaker 3: I have a hard time remembering even that date because it's,
[1:28:27] Speaker 3: you know, and so I had lunch with her and
[1:28:29] Speaker 3: we talked about it. I'm like, can you show me
[1:28:31] Speaker 3: the medical paper? Do you know, like, like, because people want,
[1:28:35] Speaker 3: somehow they want some kind of proof of all this,
[1:28:38] Speaker 3: of this kind of stuff. So I'm like, okay. let
[1:28:40] Speaker 3: me do that if i'm going to write the book
[1:28:41] Speaker 3: so i did that i had that with her and
[1:28:43] Speaker 3: she's doing fine it made me really happy and i
[1:28:45] Speaker 3: love her and she's happy so that's the carmen story
[1:28:48] Speaker 3: right so moving on like i go through all of
[1:28:51] Speaker 3: this stuff i you know go through college graduate um
[1:28:57] Speaker 3: write the book, and here I am sitting with you,
[1:29:00] Speaker 3: you know, sharing my story. I'm so grateful for that.
[1:29:03] Speaker 1: Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
[1:29:04] Speaker 3: I really am.
[1:29:06] Speaker 1: This has been a hell of a journey. But I
[1:29:09] Speaker 1: have to ask you, so what were the abilities that
[1:29:15] Speaker 1: you came back with that you either have– dulled or
[1:29:20] Speaker 1: turned off completely or that you have embraced in this life?
[1:29:24] Speaker 3: I think the most important thing I came back with
[1:29:26] Speaker 3: without a doubt is ability to really see and love
[1:29:31] Speaker 3: the human experience and human part of what's happening here. Yes,
[1:29:37] Speaker 3: metaphysical experiences. Yes, orbs are part of my daily existence
[1:29:41] Speaker 3: when I meditate. I feel like they're soul family. I
[1:29:46] Speaker 3: think because my childhood was so hard, That I felt
[1:29:50] Speaker 3: really lonely.
[1:29:51] Speaker 1: And they were there.
[1:29:52] Speaker 3: And they were there. And they come to like help.
[1:29:55] Speaker 1: But with the stuff that in regards to like touching
[1:29:58] Speaker 1: people and knowing everything about them.
[1:30:00] Speaker 3: So that was something I learned to stop.
[1:30:05] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[1:30:11] Speaker 2: And now back to the show.
[1:30:14] Speaker 1: First of all. You don't do it at all now?
[1:30:16] Speaker 1: Or can you turn it on and off? I'm just curious.
[1:30:19] Speaker 3: I mean, I could probably turn it on, but I
[1:30:20] Speaker 3: don't want to. I try not to. Sometimes things come through,
[1:30:25] Speaker 3: but I really don't want to. And it's really funny.
[1:30:27] Speaker 3: When anyone hears that, I always feel I can feel
[1:30:30] Speaker 3: them pulling back.
[1:30:31] Speaker 1: No, I'm the opposite. I'm like, uh-huh.
[1:30:34] Speaker 3: But they're pulling back what they don't want me to know.
[1:30:37] Speaker 3: And it's like, okay, listen, we're all human. You can
[1:30:41] Speaker 3: just relax, you know?
[1:30:42] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[1:30:43] Speaker 3: It's like I really, that's not the path that I want.
[1:30:46] Speaker 3: But I do feel like I am a healer. I
[1:30:48] Speaker 3: facilitate a healing sound bath every Friday night, which I've
[1:30:52] Speaker 3: been doing almost for 30 years now. And what I
[1:30:54] Speaker 3: do is I have, like I chant. I feel like
[1:31:01] Speaker 3: there's healing.
[1:31:03] Speaker 1: Of course.
[1:31:03] Speaker 3: In your resonance.
[1:31:04] Speaker 1: Sure.
[1:31:05] Speaker 3: Of your voice. Even my book, I read my own
[1:31:07] Speaker 3: book because I feel like there's a healing resonance in
[1:31:09] Speaker 3: the voice. So I do a. crystal balls, a gong,
[1:31:14] Speaker 3: many instruments. But mainly it's the intention of just sharing love.
[1:31:18] Speaker 3: And I've had some pretty miraculous thing happen with people
[1:31:21] Speaker 3: that have come to the sound baths and healings. But
[1:31:25] Speaker 3: it's not like I'm trying to heal them. I'm just
[1:31:28] Speaker 3: giving them love.
[1:31:29] Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you then, why do you believe
[1:31:31] Speaker 1: that if it's something that you're not actually using in
[1:31:34] Speaker 1: this life, why were you given that? What's the purpose
[1:31:37] Speaker 1: of that in your journey? If you're given these kind
[1:31:40] Speaker 1: of abilities... like being able to touch somebody and really
[1:31:44] Speaker 1: know them, you know, and healing power, which you still use,
[1:31:48] Speaker 1: or any of these kind of clairs that come up,
[1:31:51] Speaker 1: why were you given those abilities if they're not truly
[1:31:54] Speaker 1: helping you, that you've had to cut them, like shut
[1:31:56] Speaker 1: them down? I'm just curious.
[1:31:58] Speaker 3: Did you ever see the movie?
[1:31:59] Speaker 1: Yes. Go ahead. I've seen them all, yes.
[1:32:03] Speaker 2: The Dead Zone?
[1:32:04] Speaker 1: Of course. Stephen King, yeah.
[1:32:06] Speaker 3: So The Dead Zone, I guess, would answer that question.
[1:32:10] Speaker 3: So in that movie, he had these powers, right? He
[1:32:13] Speaker 3: could help find people and he had premonitions and all
[1:32:16] Speaker 3: that stuff, right? And there was like a door that opened.
[1:32:19] Speaker 3: But the more that door opened, the less human he
[1:32:23] Speaker 3: was or less present he was.
[1:32:24] Speaker 1: Because you're connected more to the other side than he
[1:32:25] Speaker 1: is to this side.
[1:32:26] Speaker 3: And one of my goals here in this life, like
[1:32:28] Speaker 3: it's important for me, I think, to know about my
[1:32:32] Speaker 3: soul family and to have these gifts. But I want
[1:32:35] Speaker 3: to connect on human to human. And I don't want
[1:32:38] Speaker 3: to be... And I don't know if it's served me
[1:32:40] Speaker 3: or not served me to help in a way. I
[1:32:42] Speaker 3: think my presence is healing. And I think there's people
[1:32:47] Speaker 3: who are better suited for that kind of life. Why
[1:32:51] Speaker 3: it was given to me, it's kind of like, why
[1:32:53] Speaker 3: are you born with the talent to play the piano
[1:32:56] Speaker 3: or whatever? Like if you hate playing the piano and
[1:32:59] Speaker 3: like for someone like me who would love to play,
[1:33:00] Speaker 3: I'm not giving, but we're given what we're supposed to have.
[1:33:04] Speaker 3: And I think it's a part. Of me, I don't
[1:33:06] Speaker 3: think it's an objective of mine to go out and
[1:33:09] Speaker 3: do healings. It's more of an objective of mine to
[1:33:12] Speaker 3: go out and tell people, hey, you are loved unconditionally.
[1:33:17] Speaker 3: And the miraculous thing is that there's a human being
[1:33:19] Speaker 3: that has had three near-death experiences that came back that
[1:33:22] Speaker 3: found you that said you are loved and you are
[1:33:25] Speaker 3: not alone and you are held in such kindness and
[1:33:29] Speaker 3: grace that there's no words to even. And that's my
[1:33:32] Speaker 3: gift to you. The healing will come when you recognize
[1:33:36] Speaker 3: who you really are, which is a divine being having
[1:33:38] Speaker 3: a spiritual experience for the bliss of it. One of
[1:33:41] Speaker 3: the things I was told by this presence to say
[1:33:44] Speaker 3: is to tell everyone that I met, each soul is
[1:33:48] Speaker 3: here for the bliss of its own existence. And that
[1:33:52] Speaker 3: means you, you, the person hearing. And that changed me
[1:33:58] Speaker 3: because my life up to that point had been a
[1:34:01] Speaker 3: heavy backpack. I didn't see it as blissful. Now I
[1:34:06] Speaker 3: see even.
[1:34:07] Speaker 1: Like- Even the rocks, even the waves. Even the rocks.
[1:34:09] Speaker 3: I'm so grateful to be me. I'm so grateful. I
[1:34:12] Speaker 3: love my mother. I know she probably signed up. She said,
[1:34:15] Speaker 3: I'll come in with some addictions. I'll be the one
[1:34:18] Speaker 3: to really challenge you. I'll be the one to like- Yeah.
[1:34:21] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
[1:34:22] Speaker 3: I'll do that. And so I'm not saying that what
[1:34:26] Speaker 3: she did to me was okay, because there was a
[1:34:28] Speaker 3: lot of abuse. I'm not saying that behavior is okay,
[1:34:31] Speaker 3: but the love that spurred it, like- I believe, and
[1:34:35] Speaker 3: I truly believe that we had a divine contract and
[1:34:39] Speaker 3: that she fulfilled her part perfectly. And it made me
[1:34:44] Speaker 3: a person, a better person. Maybe I would have been
[1:34:46] Speaker 3: like a totally like snobby little.
[1:34:49] Speaker 1: If you were born in a very loving relationship and
[1:34:52] Speaker 1: everyone's like, you're the best. And what do you want
[1:34:54] Speaker 1: to do?
[1:34:55] Speaker 3: We're here to support you.
[1:34:57] Speaker 1: That takes you to a completely other.
[1:34:59] Speaker 3: I mean, I think I had the perfect family and. Yeah.
[1:35:04] Speaker 1: Warts and all. Yeah.
[1:35:05] Speaker 3: And it's funny because I asked my mom, when you die,
[1:35:07] Speaker 3: I want to see a sign. My mom has a
[1:35:08] Speaker 3: sense of humor. So my dad calls me, right? My
[1:35:11] Speaker 3: mom has passed away. She had a sudden heart attack.
[1:35:14] Speaker 3: And my stepdad calls me and he's like, we were
[1:35:17] Speaker 3: heading to the hospital and your mom didn't make it.
[1:35:20] Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, well, what do you mean? Where
[1:35:22] Speaker 3: did you leave her? Yeah. Did you drop her off
[1:35:26] Speaker 3: at the store? And then he says, he was like,
[1:35:29] Speaker 3: she expired. I'm like, my mom expired? And I'm like,
[1:35:33] Speaker 3: I finally got it. I'm like, oh, because he's a
[1:35:36] Speaker 3: physics major, you know, like he doesn't really, yeah. And
[1:35:39] Speaker 3: I'm looking out the window and there's a dead red
[1:35:42] Speaker 3: bird right on my porch, which I've never seen before
[1:35:46] Speaker 3: or since. And I'm like, okay, that's my mother. She
[1:35:48] Speaker 3: is funny because she loved red birds.
[1:35:51] Speaker 1: The red bird is dead. She loved the little red bird.
[1:35:53] Speaker 1: And yeah.
[1:35:54] Speaker 3: And so I'm like, oh, okay. I mean, it was
[1:35:56] Speaker 3: shocking and sad and all this stuff. I'm being light
[1:35:59] Speaker 3: of it right now because it was like a shock.
[1:36:01] Speaker 3: And because, you know, if someone's sick, it's easier, I guess.
[1:36:04] Speaker 1: Yeah, but when it's like that.
[1:36:05] Speaker 3: Yeah. When she seemed perfectly healthy, I had no idea.
[1:36:08] Speaker 1: She expired.
[1:36:10] Speaker 3: Like, what?
[1:36:11] Speaker 1: So, Chris, let me ask you, when you were on
[1:36:13] Speaker 1: the other side looking at these timelines, do you remember
[1:36:16] Speaker 1: any of the other option timelines that you could have
[1:36:18] Speaker 1: gone down?
[1:36:18] Speaker 3: Well, I did remember the one where my kids were
[1:36:20] Speaker 3: at my funeral.
[1:36:21] Speaker 1: That one.
[1:36:22] Speaker 3: I remember that. I also saw one where I was
[1:36:24] Speaker 3: in a wheelchair. I saw another one where I came
[1:36:26] Speaker 3: in and that I had some mental problems. But Alex,
[1:36:29] Speaker 3: what's fascinating is that there was millions of timelines, like billions.
[1:36:35] Speaker 3: Like there are so many times you can't even imagine.
[1:36:37] Speaker 3: Like this is not just this or that. This is
[1:36:40] Speaker 3: this or an infinity of choices.
[1:36:43] Speaker 1: With this character.
[1:36:45] Speaker 3: With this particular character.
[1:36:47] Speaker 1: So that opens up another door that I would love
[1:36:49] Speaker 1: to go into because you've been there. You've been on
[1:36:53] Speaker 1: the other side. So my understanding and my belief was
[1:36:58] Speaker 1: from the research I've done is that we're all on
[1:37:01] Speaker 1: a timeline, right? And that timeline, there are, like you said,
[1:37:04] Speaker 1: those little decisions move you in a certain kind of way.
[1:37:08] Speaker 1: But if all of a sudden tomorrow, it's like, you
[1:37:10] Speaker 1: know what? I really want to be an astronaut. I'm
[1:37:12] Speaker 1: going to go to astronaut school. Now, generally, I failed math.
[1:37:16] Speaker 1: I'm not good at certain things. Probably not really. Or
[1:37:20] Speaker 1: let's say I want to be an NBA player. I'm 52.
[1:37:23] Speaker 1: I think it should work out fine. So I start
[1:37:26] Speaker 1: trying to, you know, and then, of course.
[1:37:29] Speaker 3: Well, we started this right with the predispositions.
[1:37:32] Speaker 2: Right.
[1:37:32] Speaker 1: So but let's say. Well, that's going to take my
[1:37:34] Speaker 1: timeline to a completely different rate.
[1:37:37] Speaker 3: But let's just say something more realistic. Okay, let's say
[1:37:40] Speaker 3: tomorrow I want to be a librarian.
[1:37:41] Speaker 1: Yeah, I could be a librarian. Fine.
[1:37:43] Speaker 3: I'm going to be a librarian tomorrow. It's possible. It's
[1:37:45] Speaker 3: within your timeline, all right?
[1:37:46] Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely.
[1:37:47] Speaker 3: But that's going to change.
[1:37:48] Speaker 1: Everything.
[1:37:49] Speaker 3: Everything.
[1:37:50] Speaker 1: Right. So from my understanding is that there's not only
[1:37:52] Speaker 1: this timeline, but there is literally infinite variations of what
[1:37:58] Speaker 1: Alex can be.
[1:37:59] Speaker 3: And that brings us back to what we talked about earlier.
[1:38:02] Speaker 3: Remember about you could open the door or you could
[1:38:05] Speaker 3: just shut.
[1:38:06] Speaker 1: So my question to you then, from looking at it
[1:38:08] Speaker 1: from your point of view, if there is literally endless
[1:38:13] Speaker 1: variations of timelines, the multiverse, if you will, parallel worlds
[1:38:18] Speaker 1: or parallel experiences with this character of Alex and with
[1:38:24] Speaker 1: that character of Crystal, is that what's happening? So right
[1:38:28] Speaker 1: now there's two different... versions of us where you're the
[1:38:32] Speaker 1: host and I'm the guest. I've had the near-death experience
[1:38:35] Speaker 1: and you're the one that's sitting over here with a
[1:38:37] Speaker 1: baseball cap. Let's say that's the way it works, right?
[1:38:41] Speaker 1: Because if there's infinite variations, there is a world that
[1:38:43] Speaker 1: that exists, you know, and that you are next level
[1:38:46] Speaker 1: soul and I am Crystal, right? Two different things. So-
[1:38:50] Speaker 1: From your understanding, is that what happens to the soul's experience? Like,
[1:38:55] Speaker 1: are we literally experiencing as a soul at the top level,
[1:38:59] Speaker 1: the observer saying, okay, I want Alex. I'm going to
[1:39:01] Speaker 1: come in as Alex, but I'm experiencing all of those
[1:39:05] Speaker 1: lifetimes and all of those lifetimes. And I'm just happy
[1:39:08] Speaker 1: to be focused on this one right now.
[1:39:09] Speaker 3: You're in residence with this.
[1:39:11] Speaker 1: One right now. But all of those are happening at
[1:39:13] Speaker 1: the exact same time. Is that your understanding?
[1:39:16] Speaker 3: What my understanding is a little bit different. All the
[1:39:19] Speaker 3: timelines are in completion. Like everything has already happened.
[1:39:23] Speaker 1: Right. There's no past. There's no future. No.
[1:39:25] Speaker 3: And so what's happening is you're in residence with this particular. Yes,
[1:39:29] Speaker 3: those timelines are in completion. Even this time is in completion.
[1:39:33] Speaker 3: We're experiencing it because it's bringing us joy to experience it.
[1:39:37] Speaker 3: But everything is in completion. But if we shift our
[1:39:40] Speaker 3: residence either higher or lower, then we have a different
[1:39:43] Speaker 3: timeline that's already in completion. But now we're experiencing it.
[1:39:46] Speaker 3: So the incompletion thing, I think, is really important because
[1:39:50] Speaker 3: nothing new in the universe. So God, I don't like
[1:39:54] Speaker 3: the word God, but let's say the creator, the source,
[1:39:57] Speaker 3: whatever you want to call, is complete. And we are
[1:40:00] Speaker 3: an aspect of that. But there's nothing new you can
[1:40:03] Speaker 3: add to God, okay?
[1:40:06] Speaker 1: You're not surprising, God.
[1:40:07] Speaker 3: There's nothing new to be added, right?
[1:40:10] Speaker 2: Right.
[1:40:10] Speaker 3: But we are an expression of that divine force. And
[1:40:14] Speaker 3: we have come into existence because it brings that which
[1:40:18] Speaker 3: is most beautiful, even Hitler, and that's a horrible thing
[1:40:21] Speaker 3: to say, will come into existence for the benefit of
[1:40:24] Speaker 3: the individual and the benefit of all, and it's an experience.
[1:40:28] Speaker 3: So that timeline, like, for example, let's say you want
[1:40:31] Speaker 3: to save the wells, okay? Do you think God couldn't
[1:40:34] Speaker 3: save the wells? And by the way, if your soul
[1:40:38] Speaker 3: wants to save wells, there needs to be wells that
[1:40:40] Speaker 3: need to be saved. If you want to be a doctor,
[1:40:42] Speaker 3: there needs to be sick people.
[1:40:45] Speaker 1: If not, this doesn't work.
[1:40:46] Speaker 3: No, it doesn't work. And we're veiled from the truth
[1:40:49] Speaker 3: of our existence so that we can have these experiences
[1:40:53] Speaker 3: because imagine like knowing everything about an apple, like the
[1:41:00] Speaker 3: anatomy of an apple, the skin, the taste. You write
[1:41:02] Speaker 3: poetry about it. You know the biology.
[1:41:05] Speaker 1: The variations.
[1:41:05] Speaker 3: Yeah, you know everything, but you've never even bitten into
[1:41:08] Speaker 3: an apple. Do you know it? So I think here
[1:41:10] Speaker 3: we're just as analogy, we're biting into the apple, which
[1:41:13] Speaker 3: brings me back to like, you know, let's be human. And,
[1:41:17] Speaker 3: and really like, I don't want to move through my life.
[1:41:20] Speaker 3: I think one of the reasons that I don't want
[1:41:22] Speaker 3: to use for me, not for everyone is I want
[1:41:27] Speaker 3: to have the human experience because I'm human now. Like
[1:41:30] Speaker 3: I know I'm spiritual. I know that for sure. Like
[1:41:31] Speaker 3: when I died, I was like, Oh, okay. Okay. I
[1:41:35] Speaker 3: didn't know I was going to die today.
[1:41:36] Speaker 1: That's cool.
[1:41:37] Speaker 3: But while I'm here, but let me, let me just,
[1:41:41] Speaker 3: let me taste the apple. Let me reach out and
[1:41:43] Speaker 3: touch you. Let me see the sunrise. Let me help.
[1:41:47] Speaker 3: Let my presence be a light. Let me leave a
[1:41:49] Speaker 3: legacy of love. Let everyone that I meet pass. And
[1:41:53] Speaker 3: I don't always do it, by the way. I'm not
[1:41:55] Speaker 3: by any means perfect. I haven't mastered this thing called humanness.
[1:42:00] Speaker 3: But I try. I always say when I leave, I'm
[1:42:01] Speaker 3: going to get a big E for effort. Like she's
[1:42:05] Speaker 3: getting an E. You know, when you're a kid, they
[1:42:07] Speaker 3: give you an E. She made an effort. So that's
[1:42:10] Speaker 3: what I think. And I think that. So I don't.
[1:42:12] Speaker 3: believe that it all happened simultaneously. They're all complete. They've
[1:42:15] Speaker 3: already happened.
[1:42:16] Speaker 1: So if they've already happened, then where's free will?
[1:42:19] Speaker 3: Free will is your choice where you want to resonate.
[1:42:21] Speaker 1: Okay. So all of these experiences have happened. And within
[1:42:23] Speaker 1: these experiences, within the experience of this life, I do
[1:42:26] Speaker 1: have a choice. I have a freedom to do.
[1:42:28] Speaker 3: Whatever I want.
[1:42:28] Speaker 1: You have a freedom.
[1:42:29] Speaker 3: If you stay in this timeline, because nothing changes for Alex,
[1:42:33] Speaker 3: you have a certain destiny.
[1:42:35] Speaker 1: Of course.
[1:42:35] Speaker 3: But if you shift, then you have a different. And
[1:42:37] Speaker 3: you can shift again and again and again and how
[1:42:39] Speaker 3: many ever times you want to all these different timelines.
[1:42:41] Speaker 1: So that makes much more sense to me. So in
[1:42:43] Speaker 1: other words, every possibility that Alex could do in the
[1:42:48] Speaker 1: realm of this reality has been done.
[1:42:50] Speaker 3: It's done.
[1:42:51] Speaker 1: It's done. Now, as I'm walking through this life, I
[1:42:55] Speaker 1: resonate with whichever place I want to kind of experience
[1:43:00] Speaker 1: the most.
[1:43:01] Speaker 3: Energetic.
[1:43:01] Speaker 1: Energetic experience. Alignment. Energetic alignment. But in this life, I
[1:43:07] Speaker 1: could be a Genghis Khan. And there's a version of
[1:43:12] Speaker 1: me that is that. Or I could be Jesus. Incompletion.
[1:43:16] Speaker 1: Or I could be Jesus and walk down that path
[1:43:20] Speaker 1: and everything in between those two extremes.
[1:43:22] Speaker 3: But what's most likely for you is where you're resident now.
[1:43:27] Speaker 1: Right.
[1:43:28] Speaker 3: And what's most likely... Let's imagine you're an eternal being
[1:43:33] Speaker 3: that in 5,000 years from now you look back at Alex.
[1:43:36] Speaker 3: Would you know more than you know now? I would
[1:43:38] Speaker 3: hope so.
[1:43:39] Speaker 1: I would hope so.
[1:43:40] Speaker 3: Right.
[1:43:40] Speaker 1: Okay.
[1:43:41] Speaker 3: So that being exists already. We are eternal, which I
[1:43:43] Speaker 3: believe we are. But if you were to be able
[1:43:46] Speaker 3: to pop up to that 5,000, it would be so
[1:43:49] Speaker 3: high vibration you would explode. You wouldn't be able to
[1:43:52] Speaker 3: embody it. So where you can go is like the
[1:43:55] Speaker 3: next few levels. And what happens with tragedy, and I've
[1:44:00] Speaker 3: heard you talk about this on your show, like people
[1:44:03] Speaker 3: who are on the wrong path suddenly have a near-death
[1:44:05] Speaker 3: experience or a tragic event that takes them back on
[1:44:07] Speaker 3: the right path, right? And that sometimes will shift you
[1:44:11] Speaker 3: through your four timelines because of the horror or the tragedy.
[1:44:16] Speaker 2: Or the shakeup.
[1:44:17] Speaker 1: Yeah, if you had addictions and you were going down
[1:44:19] Speaker 1: this road and then you have an OD. Right. That's
[1:44:22] Speaker 1: the end of that.
[1:44:23] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[1:44:24] Speaker 1: You're going to either stop and get out of this thing.
[1:44:26] Speaker 3: And you're going to flip maybe three or four timelines
[1:44:29] Speaker 3: that maybe if you didn't have an OD, it would
[1:44:32] Speaker 3: take you many other lives to get there.
[1:44:35] Speaker 1: Interesting.
[1:44:36] Speaker 3: Because I think if you don't heal it in this life,
[1:44:38] Speaker 3: not that in the whole question of karma, right? Like
[1:44:42] Speaker 3: I don't even believe in karma because I think it's
[1:44:45] Speaker 3: a flawed concept. For example, a bodhisattva or a divine
[1:44:49] Speaker 3: master could come and say into the body of a beggar.
[1:44:54] Speaker 3: Let's say you're born into a meth mother. Sure. You're
[1:44:57] Speaker 3: born with addiction. You're raped by the time you're three.
[1:45:00] Speaker 3: You're thrown on the street. You become an addict yourself.
[1:45:03] Speaker 3: People drive by and they say, that loser is going
[1:45:05] Speaker 3: to hell.
[1:45:05] Speaker 1: Had nothing to do with poor thing.
[1:45:07] Speaker 3: But that divine being said, I will take that hard
[1:45:11] Speaker 3: life because I'm so enlightened.
[1:45:14] Speaker 2: We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
[1:45:20] Speaker 2: And now back to the show.
[1:45:24] Speaker 3: Because one person will drive by and see me and
[1:45:28] Speaker 3: put their bottle down. And that's, I'm going to do
[1:45:31] Speaker 3: this whole life for that one person. And that makes
[1:45:36] Speaker 3: the vision of karma that people talk about so wrong.
[1:45:40] Speaker 3: And I think it's so bad that they shame people.
[1:45:43] Speaker 3: about like, oh, you're born into these bad circumstances or
[1:45:46] Speaker 3: these good. I, you know what?
[1:45:49] Speaker 1: Cause I mean, obviously, you know, I, I lean much
[1:45:52] Speaker 1: more connected with the Eastern philosophies than I, but I
[1:45:55] Speaker 1: have much love for the West as well, being raised
[1:45:58] Speaker 1: Catholic and so on. And the concept of karma has
[1:46:01] Speaker 1: always been something that's been, I mean, it's interesting to me.
[1:46:05] Speaker 1: It's never a pun. And that's the thing. A lot
[1:46:06] Speaker 1: of the way it's presented is it's a punishment that
[1:46:09] Speaker 1: you were like, oh, you got a bill to pay.
[1:46:11] Speaker 1: But from, The way you're presenting, it does make more
[1:46:15] Speaker 1: sense to me that, yeah, let's say you do a
[1:46:18] Speaker 1: whole bunch of, it's just weird because if we understand
[1:46:22] Speaker 1: the concept of all these timelines, that everything is happening
[1:46:25] Speaker 1: all at once. Right now, that means that Alex Genghis
[1:46:28] Speaker 1: Khan is doing some horrible stuff and building up a
[1:46:32] Speaker 1: horrible amount of karma. But is that a potential or
[1:46:35] Speaker 1: is that already at completion as part of the soul's experience?
[1:46:39] Speaker 1: So in other words, I've experienced everything through Alex's lens
[1:46:43] Speaker 1: in every possible way already as a soul. But me personally,
[1:46:47] Speaker 1: this spark is resonating.
[1:46:49] Speaker 3: Well, if you have, you wouldn't be here.
[1:46:51] Speaker 1: Correct. Yeah. So then what are all those other experiences?
[1:46:53] Speaker 3: But where you're at right now is a result of
[1:46:55] Speaker 3: the evolutionary process of Alex.
[1:46:58] Speaker 1: Of Alex or the soul?
[1:46:59] Speaker 3: The soul Alex.
[1:47:01] Speaker 1: So all my lives.
[1:47:02] Speaker 3: Yeah, all your lives. Not Alex Alex, but the soul
[1:47:04] Speaker 3: that is Alex right now. That's showing up as Alex.
[1:47:07] Speaker 1: Correct. That's just showing up like that. So the concept
[1:47:10] Speaker 1: of karma, the balancing of it makes sense to me,
[1:47:14] Speaker 1: but not as a punishment, but as a kind of
[1:47:19] Speaker 1: a balancing. And if you look throughout history, anytime there's
[1:47:22] Speaker 1: a great evil that shows up, a great good comes
[1:47:26] Speaker 1: to balance it. That's true. It's just generally.
[1:47:30] Speaker 3: I would differ a little bit because if you come
[1:47:33] Speaker 3: in and... And let's just say you had a horrible
[1:47:35] Speaker 3: life and you're like, I don't want to do that
[1:47:36] Speaker 3: human thing again. It's just, I don't want to do it.
[1:47:38] Speaker 1: I want to go to this other planet.
[1:47:39] Speaker 3: I want to go, I want to go on the
[1:47:41] Speaker 3: grasshopper planet.
[1:47:42] Speaker 1: Grasshopper planet. I can be just like grasshopper and enjoy it.
[1:47:45] Speaker 1: You're not for, I just mean, I love that. I
[1:47:48] Speaker 1: think that's awesome.
[1:47:49] Speaker 3: You're not forced to come back here. You, you're so,
[1:47:53] Speaker 3: you're so long. In fact, there's huge lines that want
[1:47:59] Speaker 3: souls that want to have this experience because it's, it's
[1:48:02] Speaker 3: like a, Fast track of evolution, it's hard. It's hard,
[1:48:07] Speaker 3: but it's so beautiful. Like because of those opposites that
[1:48:11] Speaker 3: you were talking about, there is so much beauty here.
[1:48:14] Speaker 3: And I think sometimes even the news, if you think
[1:48:17] Speaker 3: about the news, like the news is so horrific usually. that,
[1:48:20] Speaker 3: you know, if you watch it, you're going to go
[1:48:22] Speaker 3: down into a dark, energetic path, which is going to
[1:48:25] Speaker 3: make your residence low. One of the things that we
[1:48:28] Speaker 3: have to really work hard on as humans, in my opinion,
[1:48:30] Speaker 3: is staying, and I don't like spiritual bypassing either. I
[1:48:34] Speaker 3: just want to say that. Is staying in a very, um,
[1:48:38] Speaker 3: radiant state so basically gratitude a place of like appreciation
[1:48:44] Speaker 3: and love because otherwise you're going to attract this other
[1:48:48] Speaker 3: lives that are really close to like my neck right
[1:48:51] Speaker 3: that are really close to the possible timeline that you're
[1:48:54] Speaker 3: on so how to do that is the question i
[1:48:57] Speaker 3: think gratitude is one of the best ways getting out
[1:49:00] Speaker 3: in nature grounding your your energy getting away from the
[1:49:04] Speaker 3: screens all the time you know and like really having
[1:49:08] Speaker 3: human contact, like we are so isolated.
[1:49:13] Speaker 1: We're disconnected.
[1:49:14] Speaker 3: Like you have all these fake friends. Like I have
[1:49:16] Speaker 3: so many friends on all these different social media platforms
[1:49:19] Speaker 3: that I don't know, but, but I've been connected with
[1:49:21] Speaker 3: for 10 years. Like I've never met them. You know
[1:49:24] Speaker 3: what I mean? And, and so human contact is like, again,
[1:49:28] Speaker 3: I think we're here to be human and divine at
[1:49:32] Speaker 3: the same time. And to just, just enjoy this experience. Like,
[1:49:38] Speaker 3: Now it's funny because if something bad happens, I always go, oh,
[1:49:40] Speaker 3: that's interesting. Like, oh, okay.
[1:49:43] Speaker 1: All right. I guess this is part of where I
[1:49:45] Speaker 1: got to go.
[1:49:46] Speaker 3: Yeah, this is what's happening today. I wonder what's happening.
[1:49:48] Speaker 3: I heard this story about this Indian saint, and there
[1:49:53] Speaker 3: was a mass murderer. And he thought the pinnacle of
[1:49:58] Speaker 3: evil would be to kill the saint. And so she
[1:50:00] Speaker 3: was in her little rickshaw in India, and this mass
[1:50:03] Speaker 3: murderer gets in and puts the knife to her throat.
[1:50:07] Speaker 1: To the saint.
[1:50:07] Speaker 3: To the saint's throat. And she looks over at him
[1:50:10] Speaker 3: very calmly and she said, if you must do it,
[1:50:13] Speaker 3: please do not suffer.
[1:50:14] Speaker 1: Oh, geez.
[1:50:17] Speaker 3: And the moral of the story is that what we
[1:50:20] Speaker 3: resist persists and we connect with. She wasn't making no
[1:50:24] Speaker 3: karma with him. We talk about karma, right? Because once
[1:50:27] Speaker 3: you start an action, there is a ripple that it
[1:50:30] Speaker 3: has to come to completion. Everybody has a beginning, a middle,
[1:50:32] Speaker 3: and an end, right?
[1:50:33] Speaker 1: Sure.
[1:50:34] Speaker 3: Now, that doesn't say there's not grace, the grace factor.
[1:50:38] Speaker 3: So you can leave this life and you can say, okay,
[1:50:41] Speaker 3: I'm done with that, that expression of energy and go
[1:50:45] Speaker 3: to grasshopper planet.
[1:50:48] Speaker 1: I got to go to grasshopper planet.
[1:50:49] Speaker 3: That's going to be fantastic.
[1:50:50] Speaker 1: Yes.
[1:50:51] Speaker 3: I mean, why not?
[1:50:52] Speaker 1: I'm sure there is a grasshopper planet.
[1:50:54] Speaker 3: But that story, you know, for me is a metaphor
[1:50:58] Speaker 3: of like how we interact with each other. You know,
[1:51:01] Speaker 3: like the knife at the throat.
[1:51:03] Speaker 1: If you must.
[1:51:04] Speaker 3: If you must. And how many times have we done,
[1:51:06] Speaker 3: I'm not saying kill people, but we've done things that
[1:51:09] Speaker 3: we're not proud of.
[1:51:09] Speaker 1: Well, we've hurt people.
[1:51:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, we've hurt people.
[1:51:11] Speaker 1: Absolutely.
[1:51:11] Speaker 3: And we've hurt ourselves, you know?
[1:51:13] Speaker 1: Well, that's the end of it.
[1:51:14] Speaker 3: Please don't suffer because that's creating this more of this thing.
[1:51:19] Speaker 3: And then there's the opposite of that to what you're
[1:51:22] Speaker 3: talking about. Even like in some of these addictive communities,
[1:51:25] Speaker 3: they have you do the opposite. Can you be, you know, somebody's,
[1:51:30] Speaker 3: what do they call it?
[1:51:31] Speaker 1: Sponsor?
[1:51:32] Speaker 3: Sponsor, yes. And so you get to do the good.
[1:51:36] Speaker 3: But here's the thing. At the end of the day,
[1:51:38] Speaker 3: you don't have to worry about any of this. All
[1:51:41] Speaker 3: you need to do is open your heart and love.
[1:51:43] Speaker 3: Like it's not that complicated. It's not like you're showing
[1:51:47] Speaker 3: up there keeping a score. Like you keep your own score.
[1:51:50] Speaker 1: That's the thing I want people to clear. When you
[1:51:51] Speaker 1: were doing your life review, there was no judgment. No.
[1:51:54] Speaker 1: And you were being shown and feeling negative, quote-unquote, negative
[1:51:59] Speaker 1: experiences and also positive experiences.
[1:52:02] Speaker 3: How I hurt their children's children's children, not just them.
[1:52:06] Speaker 3: There is a ripple that goes generational.
[1:52:09] Speaker 1: Yeah, because if you do great harm to somebody, it
[1:52:12] Speaker 1: changes the trajectory.
[1:52:13] Speaker 3: Okay, great harm is one thing. Little harm.
[1:52:16] Speaker 1: Just something little.
[1:52:17] Speaker 3: Little harm because you don't know. That could be the straw.
[1:52:22] Speaker 3: the tipping point.
[1:52:22] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not the straw. It's the thing that just.
[1:52:25] Speaker 3: Yeah, like you might have just done something little, but
[1:52:27] Speaker 3: because they're at the end of their rope, they go
[1:52:29] Speaker 3: down a spiral.
[1:52:30] Speaker 1: It's never about the dishes that were left in the sink.
[1:52:33] Speaker 1: It wasn't... It's not about the dish. Yes. Anybody who's
[1:52:37] Speaker 1: married understands it's not about the dish. It's never about
[1:52:41] Speaker 1: the dish.
[1:52:42] Speaker 3: But this human experience is so beautiful. It's so glorious.
[1:52:45] Speaker 3: And it's such a challenge.
[1:52:46] Speaker 1: But it's everything in all my... Like I keep telling people,
[1:52:49] Speaker 1: like this experience... Being here on Earth is intoxicating. This
[1:52:53] Speaker 1: is a very intoxicating environment. Everything smells good, tastes good.
[1:52:58] Speaker 1: Like you can look and you have it on both.
[1:53:00] Speaker 1: It's horrible. It's dark. It's light. This matrix, this construct
[1:53:07] Speaker 1: is brilliantly done. It is. And then I was watching
[1:53:11] Speaker 1: something the other day about how when we come down
[1:53:14] Speaker 1: or speaking to somebody, when we come down here that
[1:53:17] Speaker 1: we are actually, our senses are dulled. On purpose, because
[1:53:23] Speaker 1: we cannot take in everything that this experience has to
[1:53:27] Speaker 1: offer because we would lose our minds. So if we
[1:53:29] Speaker 1: saw literally everything and processed everything and listened to everything,
[1:53:35] Speaker 1: like you were talking about, and felt everything and smelled
[1:53:38] Speaker 1: everything and tasted everything, that we really, all of our
[1:53:41] Speaker 1: senses were open 100%, our brain would explode. We couldn't
[1:53:46] Speaker 1: process it all.
[1:53:47] Speaker 3: But as you evolve and your resonance goes up, Like
[1:53:50] Speaker 3: your vibration goes up. You're able to receive more and
[1:53:53] Speaker 3: see more beauty.
[1:53:54] Speaker 1: But it's not here. No. You're now somewhere else.
[1:53:58] Speaker 3: Here.
[1:53:58] Speaker 1: Where you were. Yeah. On the other side because you
[1:54:01] Speaker 1: saw everything. You felt everything. You had information because you
[1:54:04] Speaker 1: weren't limited by this meat bag. Right.
[1:54:07] Speaker 3: So there's a simple thing I do with my students.
[1:54:10] Speaker 3: You want to see it?
[1:54:11] Speaker 1: Yeah, please.
[1:54:12] Speaker 3: To help them get more expanded vision.
[1:54:13] Speaker 1: Oh, let's do it.
[1:54:14] Speaker 3: It's very simple. So put your hand in front of you.
[1:54:17] Speaker 1: Okay.
[1:54:18] Speaker 3: Now look at your hand. and keep your vision on
[1:54:22] Speaker 3: your hand, but look what's behind your hand. Okay. Okay.
[1:54:26] Speaker 3: So now you see both your hand and what's behind
[1:54:28] Speaker 3: your hand. Yes. And I want you to see to
[1:54:31] Speaker 3: the right, but don't keep your vision on your hand
[1:54:34] Speaker 3: and what's behind your hand, but also notice what's happening
[1:54:37] Speaker 3: to the right. And then notice what's happening to the
[1:54:40] Speaker 3: left hand in front of the hand, to the right,
[1:54:45] Speaker 3: to the left. Now take your vision up and hand
[1:54:50] Speaker 3: behind the hand, right, left, up, and now down. So
[1:54:56] Speaker 3: without moving your eyes, keep your vision in the center
[1:54:59] Speaker 3: of your hand, what's behind your hand, to the right,
[1:55:01] Speaker 3: to the left, up, down. Now start wrapping around your
[1:55:04] Speaker 3: peripheral vision to the furthest level that you can see
[1:55:08] Speaker 3: to the sides, keeping your vision on your hand, what's
[1:55:11] Speaker 3: in front of your hand, what's to the side of
[1:55:13] Speaker 3: your hand, what's up, what's down, what's all the way around.
[1:55:18] Speaker 3: And you just start to... See, soften your gaze, no
[1:55:21] Speaker 3: hard focus here. Soften your gaze, but keep your vision
[1:55:26] Speaker 3: like laser sharp, but soft gaze on the hand, what's
[1:55:30] Speaker 3: behind the hand to the side, the side, up, down,
[1:55:33] Speaker 3: wrapping around. And then see what you can see from here.
[1:55:38] Speaker 1: I see, I mean, I see a bunch of stuff.
[1:55:42] Speaker 3: Right?
[1:55:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, I see everything.
[1:55:44] Speaker 3: So now let the hand go and look at me.
[1:55:47] Speaker 3: Now look at me that way. see me see what's
[1:55:51] Speaker 3: behind me see what's to the side see what's to
[1:55:55] Speaker 3: the other side see what's up see what's down see
[1:55:58] Speaker 3: what's around and just truly see me so without that
[1:56:03] Speaker 3: hard focus i see you more clearly i see you
[1:56:07] Speaker 3: with my heart and when you meet someone with this
[1:56:11] Speaker 3: kind of love Where you actually soften your gaze. Because
[1:56:15] Speaker 3: what happens, we see this. This is all we ever see.
[1:56:18] Speaker 3: We see the story we have about people. The minute
[1:56:20] Speaker 3: I ask you to look at your hand, look what's behind,
[1:56:22] Speaker 3: the story falls away.
[1:56:23] Speaker 1: It's fascinating. I've actually felt the difference when I looked
[1:56:28] Speaker 1: at you. I've been talking to you for nearly two hours.
[1:56:32] Speaker 1: And I saw you. Differently. Not that I didn't see
[1:56:37] Speaker 1: you before, but it's just.
[1:56:38] Speaker 3: Do this with everyone. Do this with your children. Do
[1:56:41] Speaker 3: this with your wife. Do this with your enemy. Do
[1:56:45] Speaker 3: this with your friend. You just start to really... Just
[1:56:48] Speaker 3: soften your gaze and start to really see them and
[1:56:51] Speaker 3: see what's around. And this whole level of just getting
[1:56:55] Speaker 3: some distance so that you can actually see them.
[1:56:57] Speaker 1: That's beautiful.
[1:56:58] Speaker 3: Isn't it beautiful?
[1:56:59] Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Crystal, it has been... Absolute pleasure speaking to
[1:57:04] Speaker 1: you today. Your story is inspirational. It's beautiful. We went
[1:57:08] Speaker 1: down some roads that we had.
[1:57:11] Speaker 3: Some rabbit holes.
[1:57:12] Speaker 1: I don't think you've ever gone down on a show before.
[1:57:15] Speaker 1: So these are fascinating. I mean, I could talk about
[1:57:18] Speaker 1: this stuff as I do forever.
[1:57:20] Speaker 3: I want to thank you for that.
[1:57:21] Speaker 1: Yeah, but I appreciate you.
[1:57:22] Speaker 3: The work you're doing.
[1:57:23] Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate that very much. Where can people find
[1:57:25] Speaker 1: out more about you and the amazing work you're doing?
[1:57:27] Speaker 3: So online, you can go to crystalreysoul.com and there's a
[1:57:30] Speaker 3: meet me there and I'm available for talks and for
[1:57:34] Speaker 3: mentorship and all of the stuff there. That's easy way.
[1:57:37] Speaker 3: Crystal Reysoul and it's spelled C-H-R-Y-R-A-E. And by the way,
[1:57:41] Speaker 3: that is my real name. Like people go, oh, that's
[1:57:44] Speaker 3: your guru gave you. I'm like, no, that's my name.
[1:57:47] Speaker 3: My mom gave me that name.
[1:57:48] Speaker 1: Your last name was Ray.
[1:57:49] Speaker 3: My middle name. And when I got divorced, I just
[1:57:51] Speaker 3: kept my middle name. So my children's dad who got
[1:57:55] Speaker 3: married again, like I wanted, I didn't want to have her,
[1:57:59] Speaker 3: you know, like I wanted to give her that name.
[1:58:01] Speaker 3: So I was like, okay, I'll just have my name,
[1:58:02] Speaker 3: Crystal Ray. And it's my, you know, I'm also an artist.
[1:58:05] Speaker 3: I'm also a writer.
[1:58:06] Speaker 1: Oh, it works beautifully. It's good marketing. It's a good
[1:58:10] Speaker 1: name for marketing. Crystal, it's been such a pleasure having you.
[1:58:13] Speaker 1: Thank you for not only being here and sharing your
[1:58:15] Speaker 1: story so openheartedly about everything you've gone through and your
[1:58:19] Speaker 1: experience and what you're doing today, but I appreciate you
[1:58:22] Speaker 1: and everything you're doing to awaken the planet. So thank you.
[1:58:29] Speaker 1: Thank you for spending this sacred time with us today.
[1:58:32] Speaker 1: If you feel called to explore this conversation further, you'll
[1:58:35] Speaker 1: find the show notes for this episode at nextlevelsoul.com forward
[1:58:39] Speaker 1: slash 734. And if your soul is craving an even
[1:58:43] Speaker 1: deeper journey, step into Next Level Soul TV, our streaming
[1:58:46] Speaker 1: sanctuary for spiritual films, documentaries, original shows, guided meditations, channeling sessions,
[1:58:52] Speaker 1: audio books, and transformative teachings. It's a space created to
[1:58:56] Speaker 1: support your awakening, your healing, your and your return to
[1:59:00] Speaker 1: the truth of who you really are. Begin your journey
[1:59:03] Speaker 1: at nextlevelsoul.tv. Until next time, keep expanding, keep seeking, and
[1:59:10] Speaker 1: keep walking your path towards the next level of your soul.

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