# Full Time Homemaking Deep Dive, Part 1| So, You Want to Be a Full Time Homemaker?

An episode of [The Art of Home: A Podcast for Homemakers](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1557993655), 27 Aug 2025, 1 h 23 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1587457/episodes/17736999-full-time-homemaking-deep-dive-part-1-so-you-want-to-be-a-full-time-homemaker.mp3

Send me a text about this episode! Today begins a 2-part Deep Dive series on full time homemaking with guest, Jessica Fisher. We are NOT here to give you hard and fast rules about whether or not you should be a full time homemaker. Our goal is to affirm your desire to stay home full time as legitimate and not out of the realm of possibilities. In this episode we discuss: • The WHY of full time homemaking • How to make the shift to ft homemaking • The history of homemaking and why it fell out of fashion in the last 60 years • What does the Bible say? Is there a specific mandate for full time homemaking? • Common barriers to becoming a ft homemaker: lack of support, fears, money • What to do before you quit your job • What to do when you are ready to make the switch Next week, in part 2, we will talk about thriving as a full time homemaker by understanding God’s design for your homemaking and learning to manage the three common trouble spots of expectations, time and money. NOTES & LINKS Companion Blog Post Connect with Jessica Fisher • Lifeasmom.com • goodcheapeats.com Historical Homemaker Hints Gore, Michael, editor. 1003 Household Hints and Work Savers, revised edition, 1951 by Mark Elliott, Inc, NY, pp. 23, 25, 89. Color-Removing How-To Video How to Make a Draft Stopper Mentioned in this Episode Eve in Exile | Rebekah Merkle BOOK | DOCUMENTARY Women Leaving the Workplace | Larry Burkett The Psychology of Money | Morgan Housel Cover Art Credit Photo by Spencer Plouzek on Unsplash Support the show HOMEMAKING RESOURCES • Homemaker's Journal, AoH Seasonal Magazine • Private Facebook Group, Homemaker Forum • JR Miller's Homemaking Study Guide SUPPORT & CONNECT • Review | Love The Podcast • Contact | Text/Voicemail-use the link at top of description | Website | Email • Follow | Follow The Podcast • Support | theartofhomepodcast.com/support DISCLOSURE • **Buy | as an Amazon affiliate, AoH receives a small commission at no extra cost to you when you use our links to purchase items we recommend • AI Content | Portions of this episode’s copy and/or show notes may have been drafted with the assistance of AI and then reviewed and edited by a human, Allison Weeks.

## Transcript

[0:02] Allison: Hello, homemakers.
[0:04] Allison: Welcome to the Art of Home Podcast, where we are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong.
[0:10] Allison: I'm your host, Allison Weeks.
[0:12] Allison: I'm a wife, a mom, a granny, and I have been practicing the Art of Home for over 32 years.
[0:18] Allison: Welcome all of you listeners, whether you're brand new here or you have been around for a while.
[0:23] Allison: I'm glad you're here, and I'm honored that you're going to trust me with some of your valuable time today.
[0:29] Allison: I pray it will be fruitful in your own homemaking.
[0:33] Allison: We are tackling a very big subject over the next two weeks: becoming a full-time homemaker and thriving as a full-time homemaker.
[0:43] Allison: I'm joined by my friend and two-time former guest, Jessica Fisher, who not only has raised six kids on primarily her husband's income, but has been blogging about thriving on a small budget for many years.
[0:57] Allison: She has published four cookbooks all about creating good cheap eats to fuel a family of foodies without spending a fortune.
[1:05] Allison: All that to say, Jessica has walked the walk of the things that we're going to talk about in these two episodes.
[1:11] Allison: She is a great discussion partner for this topic.
[1:16] Allison: In this first episode, we're going to talk about the why of full-time homemaking and how to make the shift to full-time homemaking from working outside the home.
[1:24] Allison: We discuss a bit of the history of homemaking and what happened to cause the culture to view it with such disdain in the last 60 years or so.
[1:33] Allison: We talk about what the Bible has to say.
[1:36] Allison: Is there a specific mandate or command to be a full-time homemaker?
[1:40] Allison: We talk about some common barriers to becoming a full-time homemaker, primarily lack of support, fear, and money.
[1:48] Allison: Then we give some practical suggestions on how to come home full-time, what to do before you quit your job, and what to do when you're ready to take the plunge.
[1:58] Allison: Next week in part two, we will get into more of what happens once you are home full-time and how to thrive in that role.
[2:06] Allison: Understanding God's design for your homemaking and learning to manage the three common trouble spots of expectations, time, and money.
[2:15] Allison: I'm not gonna chat anymore right now.
[2:18] Allison: I will just get right into this episode.
[2:20] Allison: However, I do have a little treat for you.
[2:22] Allison: I thought it quite appropriate to dig up some money-saving historical homemaker hints to share in these episodes.
[2:29] Allison: So listen for that about halfway through.
[2:32] Allison: I'll be back at the end with your episode homework and some final reminders.
[2:36] Allison: Whatever you are applying your hands to as you listen today, I know you will enjoy this deep dive into so you want to be a full-time homemaker.
[2:48] Allison: Welcome to the Art of Home.
[2:50] Allison: I am here with my friend Jessica Fisher.
[2:52] Allison: She has been on the show now a couple of times.
[2:55] Allison: Jessica is a full-time homemaker, mom to six homeschooler.
[3:00] Allison: She's a writer, she's a blogger, she's a cookbook author, and she is also passionate, like me, about encouraging younger women in this noble and worthy occupation of homemaking.
[3:11] Allison: So we've had a lot of requests.
[3:14] Allison: I've had a lot of you uh reach out and ask for just kind of like a deep dive into the topic of how to be a full-time homemaker.
[3:23] Allison: What does that mean?
[3:24] Allison: What does that look like?
[3:25] Allison: And how do I make that work in 2025 when the cost of living is so expensive?
[3:30] Allison: Um, it seems impossible.
[3:31] Allison: It's something you desire in your heart, but you just cannot see a way forward to move from two incomes to one income.
[3:39] Allison: So um we're gonna talk about all of that stuff.
[3:43] Allison: And I I know this is definitely going to be a two-parter.
[3:46] Allison: So I I've kind of divided it up into let's talk about the the sort of the why of full-time homemaking, um, sort of what that means to make that shift.
[3:59] Allison: And then the second part will be more practical application of actually doing it.
[4:04] Allison: Um, and we will not cover all of the basis in this conversation because it is so broad and so wide.
[4:10] Allison: And I I told Jessica, you know, I'm feeling pretty ill-equipped for this conversation at this point because there's so much I want to talk about, and I've I can't get my brain wrapped around all the points that I want to make.
[4:19] Allison: So this is gonna be a pretty raw conversation.
[4:22] Allison: I hope you all can follow it.
[4:23] Allison: So um welcome, Jessica, back to the Art of Home.
[4:27] SPEAKER_02: Hey, thanks.
[4:28] SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited to talk to you about this.
[4:30] SPEAKER_02: I think we could geek out for hours.
[4:33] Allison: Hours and hours, but we will contain ourselves and try to just keep it to two hours.
[4:38] Allison: Uh, and I'm sure we're gonna revisit this uh whether in writing or in future episodes, but for now we'll see how far we're gonna get today.
[4:45] Allison: And and the first thing that I want to talk about, Jessica, um, is where are we and how did we get here?
[4:53] Allison: And what I mean by that is kind of like what is the present state of full-time homemaking as far as how the culture views it, and mainly that, like how the culture views it, maybe even how the church views it.
[5:07] Allison: Where are we and how did we get here?
[5:10] Allison: Thoughts?
[5:11] Jessica: Well, I I think we may have different perspectives because I'm Southern California and you're Texas.
[5:18] Jessica: So it's possible there's slight variances based on culture, just cost of living and things like that.
[5:27] Jessica: Um, I think um the way a friend phrased it, her her daughter-in-law is gonna be going back to work.
[5:35] Jessica: And she said, we can make it on one income, but it's not comfortable.
[5:40] Allison: Yeah.
[5:40] Jessica: And so for them, that was a conclusion that it it isn't comfortable.
[5:45] Jessica: So getting more money will solve that problem.
[5:50] Jessica: Um I have thoughts on that.
[5:54] Jessica: Um, but it but also I think for my my kids' peers who are are now married and having kids, um, I'm hearing it's just really hard.
[6:05] Jessica: Like we want, you know, these younger young moms are telling me, I want to be home with my kids, but I don't see how it's possible.
[6:14] Jessica: So there's this big question mark, can it be done?
[6:19] Jessica: And and that that feels like the overwhelming thing.
[6:23] Jessica: Whereas I think 30 years ago, when my husband and I were making that decision, it wasn't so much a question of finances as it was a question of, well, am I gonna be fulfilled?
[6:34] Jessica: Am I gonna, you know, it was more of a let me be all the woman I can be attitude.
[6:43] Jessica: And you were saying no to that if you were gonna go home.
[6:46] Jessica: Um so I I think there may be just a mixture of all of those things today.
[6:54] Allison: No, I think you're right on track.
[6:57] Allison: Um, this is what I'm this is what I've noticed.
[6:59] Allison: So I'm I'm just observing at this point as a 52-year-old, almost 52-year-old woman in this occupation uh 33 years.
[7:10] Allison: So it was early 90s when I got married, had my first kid, 95, and had to wrestle with that same thing.
[7:18] Allison: Am I wasting my education?
[7:20] Allison: Am I not reaching my full potential as a woman by choosing to stay home full time?
[7:26] Allison: It was more, it was less a question of can it be done, and more a question of should it be done.
[7:32] Allison: Right.
[7:33] Allison: Um, and I think I do you think there's a been a shift now in like 2025 uh from your observation that it's less about the the should and more about the the possibility or you know the the financial feasibility of it, do you think?
[7:50] Allison: Or you think it's still pretty equal?
[7:52] Jessica: I don't know.
[7:53] Jessica: I don't know if I get out enough and talk to enough people to to to you know I know that that um there's a lot of working moms where at my husband's place of business, um many of them single moms.
[8:08] Jessica: I think there's just gonna be a mixture of a lot of different household makeups and things.
[8:14] Jessica: Um but I what I'm hearing from the youngest people, you know, who are you know in their like early to mid-20s, married, yeah, right.
[8:28] Jessica: Um that is that it's I want to do this, but I'm gonna have to have some kind of second income to make this happen.
[8:39] Allison: Okay.
[8:40] Allison: Yeah.
[8:41] Allison: Um and that was something that I did a little bit of research on with my economically minded finance husband.
[8:50] Allison: Um, and we were having this conversation about like feasibility-wise, what because you and I are coming from a perspective of starting this role in the 90s um and going, okay, what did we make?
[9:05] Allison: And we like I can look at it and say, yeah, we had to make a lot of financial sacrifices, but it was doable.
[9:10] Allison: And then my question was, is it even doable now?
[9:13] Allison: Is it so far out of reach?
[9:15] Allison: How much different is it?
[9:16] Allison: In other words, if you account for inflation, how much different is it in 2025 than it was in 1990?
[9:22] Allison: So we did a little bit of research on that.
[9:24] Allison: And essentially what we found, and I can give you some numbers if anybody's interested, I'll send them to you.
[9:30] Allison: Um, the cost of the the single median income, in other words, the wage earning has not kept up with the cost of living increase.
[9:41] Allison: So they do have a valid point that it is a lot more expensive to live now than it was.
[9:48] Allison: It's a lot harder to live on one income now than it was 30 years ago.
[9:53] Allison: So I just want to acknowledge that.
[9:56] Jessica: Um yet at the same time, I mean, granted, my writing brings in an income, but that goes towards our extras.
[10:07] Jessica: Like we made it our goal that because because we read the books back in the 90s, you know, how to live on one income kind of thing, and said, okay, even if we have more than one income, let's live on one.
[10:22] Jessica: Um, and treat that second thing as extra, as savings and that kind of thing.
[10:28] Jessica: And so we continue to do that, and and we still have five kids living at home.
[10:34] Jessica: So, and they eat a lot more than they did when they were little kids.
[10:38] Jessica: Yes, they're bigger now, right?
[10:40] Jessica: Our rent has gone up.
[10:41] Jessica: So I think that it is still possible, but we have to be a lot more creative and um just be able to really put MacGyver things, you know, and and I think one of the things that that it was advice that my my husband got before he proposed, it was from our pastor at the time.
[11:07] Jessica: He said, When are you gonna propose?
[11:09] Jessica: And he's like, Well, I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row, you know, save this money, that kind of thing.
[11:13] Jessica: And and his name was Reed.
[11:16] Jessica: And he said, you know, Brian, that's not what marriage is.
[11:19] Jessica: Marriage is hacking a life, a path through the jungle together.
[11:23] Jessica: Like you can't plan for every little bit.
[11:26] Jessica: You just get your machetes and you go, you know, and and that stuck with him and with us.
[11:34] Jessica: Like, okay, we are in the jungle right now, so let's let's sharpen the machete and and get to work.
[11:39] Jessica: Like, I think um God's given us lots of creativity to work our way around this stuff.
[11:48] Jessica: And and there's so many opportunities to work from home, to still be still be able to give um your children and your home the majority of your attention while also supplementing in small ways.
[12:05] Jessica: So, so I think it's very possible.
[12:07] Jessica: It's just it's not gonna be without a challenge.
[12:11] Jessica: It's not gonna be without um some extra creativity and work.
[12:16] Allison: Right.
[12:16] Allison: Yeah, for sure.
[12:18] Allison: Um, and I appreciate your perspective being in a part of the country that is one of the most expensive places to live uh in the United States, for sure.
[12:27] SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
[12:27] Allison: Cost of living wise, I think it's what it's right up there at the top, one of the top ones.
[12:32] Allison: Right.
[12:33] Jessica: We don't eat out very much at all anymore.
[12:36] Allison: Yeah.
[12:37] Allison: Well, I mean, even here, eating out has just gotten crazy, ridiculously expensive.
[12:42] Allison: So um, okay.
[12:44] Allison: So I just want to also clarify that I I have some notes here at the beginning about this understanding how did we get here?
[12:51] Allison: And and what I was sort of getting at with that was that sort of uh misconceptions about what it means to be a homemaker, what you would be doing all day, you know, whether or not it's the should, it's the should question that you and I had to ask when we first started.
[13:06] Allison: I'm not we're not necessarily talking to people who are struggling with the decision here.
[13:10] Allison: I think our main audience today is the woman who's it is her heart's desire to stay home, or she's already made the decision.
[13:17] Allison: They've already, she and her husband have made the decision for her to stay home and they're just trying to figure out the logistics.
[13:22] Allison: Um, I think we could spend an entire, oh, I know we could spend an entire episode talking, you know, presenting the argument to say why this is a worthy occupation.
[13:31] Allison: And frankly, that's what I've been doing for the last five years on the podcast.
[13:35] Allison: So just go back and listen to all the archives, people.
[13:41] Allison: Yeah, because that's the whole message.
[13:43] Allison: Um, and I'm and we're also not here to say um that it's the only biblical choice.
[13:50] Allison: So I guess maybe let's move into that area because um my or should we spend any time?
[13:58] Allison: Do you think we should spend a little bit of time on the history of understanding the role to maybe combat some misconceptions?
[14:05] Allison: We could talk about that when we get down to the barriers.
[14:08] Allison: I don't know.
[14:08] Allison: What do you think?
[14:09] Jessica: I'm thinking just because everybody was home-based prior to the industrial revolution.
[14:16] Jessica: Yes.
[14:17] Jessica: And and the word housewife, if you if you Google, there's some great articles about housewife because it really was there was an a a complimentary house husband.
[14:31] Jessica: Like people, people worked at home.
[14:35] Jessica: Everybody worked at home before it was cool.
[14:38] Jessica: And and and so it wasn't that women um had to were stuck in the home.
[14:45] Jessica: It was that everyone was home and the men went eventually went off to work.
[14:48] Jessica: And it was the men who left the home, not you know, like the men moved, not us, kind of thing.
[14:55] Jessica: Yeah so so I I think it it it got kind of twisted and turned upside down, kind of thing.
[15:04] Jessica: Um and I I think I think it's about the heart.
[15:11] Jessica: God wants our hearts.
[15:12] Allison: Yeah.
[15:14] Jessica: You know, it's not about the aesthetic, it's not about who makes the money, where the money is, what how you spend, you know, it's what's your heart doing.
[15:23] Jessica: And am I willing to forego some of my own pleasures to invest in my children and to invest in their childhood and their to you know, to level it up a little bit, um and and to um thereby be investing in their children, you know, that if they're growing up in secure attached relationships, you know, then then there's gonna be there's gonna be an outflowing of that into the future.
[15:58] Jessica: Um, and that can totally happen with a mom working full-time and a dad working full-time.
[16:03] Jessica: It can totally happen with both parents working from home.
[16:07] Jessica: There's lots of different mixtures, and it's really a question about what's my heart in this.
[16:12] Jessica: Yeah.
[16:13] Jessica: And yeah, and and why, what how how am I walking out this obedience to God?
[16:21] Jessica: What life and people has he called me to?
[16:24] Jessica: And how am I walking that out?
[16:26] Allison: Yes, yes.
[16:27] Allison: And you had put on our on our mutual outline here that you wanted to make sure that we have a discussion about the difference between principles and applications.
[16:37] Allison: So I'm, you know, and I think that's what you're talking about here is what is the principle that God has asked us to live by?
[16:44] Allison: What are the principles as laid out in scripture that says, this is how I want you to walk with me?
[16:50] Allison: And the way that we do that though, is the way we apply those principles is gonna look different from family to family and even from season to season, which we talk about all the time.
[17:02] Allison: Absolutely.
[17:03] Allison: You know, the way that you live out these principles when you have like a bunch of really small kids at home is gonna look very different than when you're in an empty nest.
[17:11] Allison: It just will.
[17:13] Allison: So, uh, and then depending on your household situation, your marriage situation, you know, you might be widowed, you might have a husband with a disability next week.
[17:22] Allison: You just don't know.
[17:24] Allison: So we're not here to bind your conscience with these hard and fast rules and say, if it doesn't look like this, you are not following God's biblical principles for womanhood.
[17:36] Allison: That's not what we're saying.
[17:37] Allison: So I just wanted to be really clear about that.
[17:40] Allison: But I also wanted to at least visit this topic of how did we get here?
[17:45] Allison: Because I think when in order to understand the principles in light of the, you need to look at it too in light of the cultural moment that you live in.
[17:54] Allison: So, because whether you realize it or not, the cultural moment that you live in has a big impact on the way you think about this role that we're talking about.
[18:03] Allison: And um, we could get way in the weeds on this, and we won't.
[18:07] Allison: I just wanted to touch on this, which you've already mentioned about the industrial revolution and how that had a drastic impact on the life of the home.
[18:17] Allison: So before the industrial revolution, you had the home as a place of production where everybody was there producing things for the home to run and then from an outpouring from that for the community to run and then for the nation to run, right?
[18:32] Allison: You literally had to make most of what you consumed in the home, or you had to know somebody at the farm next door who made what you needed and then you traded.
[18:41] Allison: Well, with the Industrial Revolution, then you have the work is now being done out there, right?
[18:48] Allison: So you go with the men now leave the home to go do the work.
[18:52] Allison: So we had this shift from the home being a place of production to the home becoming a place of consumption.
[19:00] Allison: And you go post-war, post-World War II, where you have all of this innovation, and now we've got washing machines and dishwashers and all these wonderful servants in our homes.
[19:11] Allison: And the women have less to do.
[19:16] Allison: They feel like the real work, the real production is happening out there, and they're stuck in here.
[19:22] Allison: Now, not every woman, but this was kind of the way that the cultural narration was headed.
[19:27] Allison: Um, and in the vacuum that was left by the Industrial Revolution, you had feminist thinking and ideas that stepped in to fill that vacuum, uh, for better or worse.
[19:41] Jessica: And I think the home, I heard someone recently call it a people garage, that that homes in many situations have become people garages where people just go home and they they they park it until the next day when they go out and they go do the things.
[19:57] Jessica: So, so I think it's just a question of, well, what is the home supposed to be, right?
[20:02] Jessica: And and how how can we best leverage the home as a place of belonging, as a flourishing of family, um, and and to go out for the sake of the gospel into the world, but knowing that you have a place, that you're being refreshed, that you're with people who love you and accept you and see you and hear you.
[20:27] Jessica: Um, and and so having having a mom, a wife, who is making sure that that place exists.
[20:38] Jessica: Um and she can still be doing other things, right?
[20:42] Jessica: The Bible is full, like people work, like people are meant to work.
[20:47] Jessica: God has made us to work.
[20:49] Jessica: So it the location is not so much um, I don't know that we need to like get too like, oh, well, your work has to be in this place, but but that you're you're building a home.
[21:04] Jessica: And and if you can um focus more of your hours on that home, then you will have a better chance at success.
[21:14] Allison: Right, right.
[21:15] Allison: I heard a I heard an article or um, I'm sorry, a podcast just very recently where they were talking about this thing and one of the hosts had read an article about it where the the writer was saying, the woman's work, and we're kind of getting into the next section was what does the Bible say about this?
[21:31] Allison: And what does it not say about it?
[21:32] Allison: Like, you know, is there a mandate for us to we have to be at home?
[21:36] Allison: And his he was a pastor, and his advice was there's no explicit, you know, thing that says a woman cannot have a job or earn an income outside of the home.
[21:45] Allison: Um, but her work should always be tethered to the home.
[21:50] Allison: And I really I thought that was a good way of expressing it.
[21:54] Allison: Like, because when I think about a tether, I just think about like an anchor point, like a Compass, if you will, you know, it's everything she's doing is for the benefit of the home.
[22:05] Allison: And so and so should be the man, but in a it's in a different way, right?
[22:10] Jessica: Well, and I would define home as as being the the relationships and the life of the people who live there.
[22:16] Jessica: We're not talking about better homes and gardens.
[22:18] Allison: Right.
[22:18] Jessica: We're not talking about the aesthetic of any of this.
[22:22] Jessica: We're talking about the the hearts of the people who live there and and and helping to nourish them.
[22:29] Allison: Exactly.
[22:30] Jessica: For God's glory.
[22:31] Allison: Exactly.
[22:32] Allison: And right and and recognizing that that is that does require work.
[22:37] Allison: It's it's very difficult.
[22:39] Allison: It's not impossible, but it is difficult to do that within some very tiny margins on the edges, because then what you can default to is the pupil garage.
[22:48] Allison: So if you want your your home, in other words, the relationships, the purposes that God has for the home to thrive the way He wants it to, there has to be some intentionality there.
[22:59] Allison: And it means there's got to be sacrifice.
[23:01] Allison: You're either going to be sacrificing financially and have a full-time somebody at home staying full-time, giving up a full income for it, or you're going to make other sacrifices if you're going to have two incomes outside of the home.
[23:12] Allison: It means you're going to have to say no to some extra things, probably.
[23:15] Allison: Like you're not going to be able to do all the extra activities with the kids.
[23:19] Allison: You know, you may have to limit the, you'll have to limit those things in order to allow bigger margin to do the work of the home because there is work involved and somebody's got to do it.
[23:31] Jessica: What is best for your kids' hearts to do all these things or to have some downtime, to have that space in their lives for home activities to be or to be with friends or be with family, um, like running around doing all the things.
[23:49] Jessica: Like there's no biblical mandate for running around doing all the things.
[23:55] Jessica: Right, exactly.
[23:57] Allison: Exactly.
[23:58] Allison: So, what does the Bible say and not say about this?
[24:01] Allison: Um, I had a couple points here.
[24:04] Allison: First of all, home and family was God's idea.
[24:07] Allison: It is an institution that is meant to serve um as a light for the gospel, a gospel saturated welcome in a dark world.
[24:15] Allison: And knowing that we have an enemy who hates this, this uh this uh role of the home makes total sense why this the enemy has been trying to systematically dismantle the home and the family.
[24:28] Allison: Um, because it has a huge impact on cultures and nations and on the world.
[24:34] Allison: So uh we've already addressed, is there a command to stay home full time?
[24:38] Allison: I have not seen an explicit command um in scripture.
[24:42] Allison: Um, but what sort of principles we talked about those principles.
[24:46] Allison: What are some of the principles you've seen in scripture that apply to homemaking?
[24:53] Jessica: Well, I think I I love so I'm gonna lean on Titus II a little bit here because I think that there's some key phrases in there.
[25:04] Allison: Um can you read it?
[25:07] Allison: Yeah, I do.
[25:08] Jessica: Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.
[25:14] Jessica: They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
[25:28] Jessica: And that's Titus 2, verses 3 and 5.
[25:31] Jessica: And I think one of the key words in here is they are to teach, which means this doesn't come naturally to us.
[25:44] Jessica: No one is born knowing how to do this, right?
[25:47] Jessica: And so younger women get to learn it, and older women who were once young women learning it get to share what they've figured out and what they learned the hard way.
[25:59] Jessica: Like it it and so it isn't something that this is yep, you're you're a woman, and so you know how to do this.
[26:09] Jessica: Like, no, I don't know how to do this.
[26:13] Jessica: I have to learn how to do this.
[26:15] Jessica: And some of us have moms who are modeling it, some have moms who are actively teaching it, some of us have moms who don't have a clue and didn't do it themselves, and so we have to figure it out on our own.
[26:27] Jessica: Um, and but the the key word is is that we're we're teaching and learning all of these things um as we go along.
[26:34] Jessica: And um that was just popped out at me recently.
[26:40] Jessica: Like that's something like, oh, okay.
[26:43] Jessica: I wish I had known that, you know, had seen that sooner, that it was okay that I didn't know it all, that I didn't know how to do all these things.
[26:52] Jessica: Um, but I think um this is a lot of these words are about our hearts.
[26:58] Jessica: Very, very few of these words are actually about our hands.
[27:01] Jessica: They're about what's our heart posture.
[27:05] Allison: Yeah.
[27:06] Jessica: And it's it's and and I think again, it's it's like what is the best part of what is the most important part about full-time homemaking is where your heart is.
[27:17] Jessica: Not if you got not if you keep a spotless home, right?
[27:21] Jessica: Um, not if you get the laundry done on a set schedule, though those things will be conducive to peace and order and people getting out the door with clean clothes on, you know, it but it is about your heart and and and being willing to pour yourself out for your family.
[27:42] Allison: Yes, yes.
[27:43] Allison: I love that this is language about our heart, not so much about our hands.
[27:49] Allison: Um, I mean, really the only thing there that you could say is your hands is to be busy at home.
[27:55] Jessica: Um and not to have your hand on the wine bottle too much.
[28:00] Jessica: Exactly.
[28:01] SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's what are the only two hand things there.
[28:06] Allison: That is very true.
[28:08] Allison: And that, and the thing about the wine is specifically uh directed at the older women, just F.
[28:13] SPEAKER_03: That is true.
[28:14] Allison: You never noticed that before.
[28:16] Allison: Um and I think we can also look to the we can look at this scripture and then we can look at it in conjunction with um other scriptures, particularly in Proverbs.
[28:27] Allison: Um yes, Proverbs 31, but there's a whole bunch of Proverbs about work and and our where our heart needs to be in relation to the work that God has given us to do.
[28:37] Allison: Um, particularly, let's see, Proverbs 31, 27, it says she looks well to the ways of her household and she does not eat the bread of idleness.
[28:47] Allison: So she's looking well to the ways of her household.
[28:50] Allison: She's not sitting around twiddling her thumbs, wasting time scrolling on her phone all the time.
[28:55] Allison: You know, she's being productive for the benefit of her home.
[29:00] Allison: Um, and whether that means working outside the home to earn some income, doing the laundry, whatever it is, she is not being idle.
[29:09] Allison: Um, Proverbs 14:1 is one of my favorites.
[29:12] Allison: It says, A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
[29:17] Allison: And then the other one I wrote down was 31, uh, 13.
[29:21] Allison: She works willingly with her own hands.
[29:24] Jessica: And I think to cap all those is Ephesians 2, 10.
[29:29] Jessica: For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
[29:37] Jessica: God is not surprised by the internet, he is not surprised by the industrial revolution.
[29:42] Jessica: Like those are all part we we get to be born in this era where we have these other things and none of it has surprised God.
[29:53] Jessica: Like that is still, we are still able to be faithful and obedient in a different culture, different time, different situation.
[30:02] Jessica: And He has made good work for us to do.
[30:05] Allison: Yes.
[30:06] Allison: And I um I do want to point to I'm we won't, we just don't have time.
[30:11] Allison: We should probably do like an in-depth uh review/slash critique of this book.
[30:16] Allison: But um, Becca Merkel in Even Exile talks about this in I think such an eloquent way, a really challenging way.
[30:23] Allison: Um, if you just want the footnotes, and I'll link this in the show notes.
[30:26] Allison: If you just want the footnotes on this and the basic argument, go watch the one-hour documentary um that Cain Impress did on this.
[30:34] Allison: It's excellent.
[30:35] Allison: But she talks about how we the this generation, so say, from like the the 1960s on, um, the modern generation of women have been given such an amazing gift of abundance, like a surplus.
[30:50] Allison: And she likens it to the talents, the parable of the talents.
[30:53] Allison: We were given a surplus like no other time in history, with all of these automations of our work that we, you know, all of that stuff that the Industrial Revolution brought into the home, it made our labor a lot easier.
[31:08] Allison: We had all this time, and what did we do at this time?
[31:11] Allison: Did we bury it in the ground and squander it, or did we invest it well to bring a return for the kingdom and for the benefit of our households?
[31:20] Allison: So she makes an excellent argument about that.
[31:22] Allison: I don't know if you want to say anything about that.
[31:24] Jessica: Um, just that I'm reading it for the third time.
[31:28] Jessica: It's a great book, and um, one of the things I love about the documentary is that it does not detract from the reading of the book.
[31:38] Allison: Um Yeah, that's true.
[31:40] Jessica: It it enhances it, but it's not like, oh, I saw the movie, I don't have to read the book.
[31:44] Jessica: It's like, no, it it it's it's definitely both resources are really valuable.
[31:51] Jessica: Um, my husband said, my husband read it after I started raving about it.
[31:55] Jessica: He said, he said, you know, and it's not written for men, it's written to women, but he said it's the best book I've ever read, period, hands down.
[32:02] Jessica: Like it has just really helped us as we're as we're still actively parenting five young adults in the home.
[32:12] Jessica: Um it has been just really key to be able to identify and talk about certain issues in a good way.
[32:21] Allison: Yeah, it helps you get that what I was what I was alluding to before about understanding the cultural moment that you live in and how it shapes and impacts the way you think about gender roles and and your role as a homemaker and as a woman.
[32:36] Allison: Um it's very it's very educational in that way.
[32:40] Allison: Um, and she does make compelling arguments.
[32:42] Allison: You can agree or disagree with them.
[32:44] Allison: Um, I haven't found really anything in the book that I I think is biblically inaccurate.
[32:50] Allison: Um, but it's definitely worth a read um to understand just, you know, how we got where how we got here and and how it's impacted the way that the world thinks about the role of homemaking and and a lot of the misconceptions that surround it and some of the mess that we've ended up in as far as like gender roles and things like that.
[33:10] Jessica: So and I would say like one big takeaway is she illustrates the what, why, how.
[33:16] Jessica: Like we can agree on the what of something, but our whys of the hows can vary.
[33:20] Jessica: And I think that that applies really, really well to what we're talking about today.
[33:24] Jessica: Because if if if you're listening to this and you're already thinking, I want the what, I want to be, I want to be home.
[33:32] Jessica: Yeah, um, then then the why and the how, that's kind of those are the key things because that's gonna direct how it really is enfleshed in your life.
[33:43] Jessica: Um and and you are gonna have to be really clear on your why so that you can keep going.
[33:50] Jessica: Cause it's it's not, there's days where it's kind of hard.
[33:53] Jessica: It's kind of more than hard, you know.
[33:55] Jessica: Um, and and so knowing, being really, really convicted about your why.
[34:00] Jessica: Um, and then the how just helps you put feet to that, to that conviction.
[34:05] Jessica: Um, and so hopefully these two parts will be able to, you know, bolster your thoughts on that.
[34:12] Allison: Yeah, for sure.
[34:14] Allison: Okay, so let's you ready to move on and talk about barriers?
[34:18] Allison: And we've already kind of talked about it a little bit, but let's talk about the barriers to full-time homemaking.
[34:23] Allison: Uh, I have three listed here and we can flesh these out.
[34:27] Allison: Money, fear, and lack of support.
[34:32] Allison: So let's start with where do you want to start?
[34:36] Allison: Let's start with lack of support.
[34:37] Allison: We're gonna actually go back on the list.
[34:40] Allison: Lack of support.
[34:41] Allison: Um, and this this has to do, I I think, a lot with the cultural commun community and cultural stigma surrounding this role of homemaking and just misconceptions in general about homemakers.
[34:59] Allison: Thoughts on that?
[35:00] Jessica: I I think, you know, I mean, this is it's it's become cliche that idea of oh, I don't know how to introduce myself at a dinner party.
[35:10] Jessica: And it's like, well, how many dinner parties am I really going to that I have to worry about this?
[35:15] Allison: This is not really a constant problem for me.
[35:18] Jessica: And and there are enough really, really good conversational techniques that you can implement.
[35:24] Jessica: Like it doesn't really matter.
[35:26] Jessica: Like, and and if it really matters to someone, then that's their problem, not your problem.
[35:32] Jessica: Exactly.
[35:33] Jessica: You know, um, because the world last time I checked is really, really diverse, and there's a lot of disparate ideas out there.
[35:42] Jessica: So if this is just one more weird idea that somebody has come up with, then let them think it's just another weird idea.
[35:49] Jessica: Like, who cares?
[35:53] Allison: We'll get back to our deep dive discussion in just a few minutes.
[35:57] Allison: Right now it's time for historical homemaker hints.
[35:59] Allison: This is the part of the podcast where I highlight some of the helpful and not so helpful hints doled out to homemakers throughout history.
[36:08] Allison: Today's hints come from 1,003 Household Hints and Worksabers, published and distributed in 1948 by Bankers Community Service Company of New York.
[36:20] Allison: My edition was given out by W.
[36:22] Allison: L.
[36:22] Allison: Moody and Co-Bankers of Galveston, Texas, whose mission was to serve Galveston and Galveston County promoting thrift.
[36:32] Allison: This little guide gives thrifty tips for everything from clothing to cleaning to saving on insurance.
[36:38] Allison: Here is a handy tip to remember next time you get behind the wheel.
[36:43] Allison: Tip number 216.
[36:45] Allison: If you drive a car, get in on the side nearest the wheel instead of scraping along the whole seat until you worm your way into position, thus wearing out the seat of your fur coat.
[36:59] Allison: Because I know all of you are wearing your finest furs to the grocery store.
[37:03] Allison: Of course, this tip made sense at a time when most all cars had bench seats in the front, which is rare today, even in pickup trucks.
[37:12] Allison: Side note, my great-grandparents, who were Louisiana rice farmers, were easily identified around town in their pickup truck by the fact that she was always scooted right next to him on the bench seat.
[37:25] Allison: How sweet is that.
[37:32] Allison: Tip number 231.
[37:34] Allison: Wouldn't it be wonderful if after getting a tear in one stocking, you could mate the good one with another orphan of the same shade.
[37:43] Allison: That's exactly what you can do.
[37:45] Allison: Collect all of your good singles, regardless of their colors, and treat them with a color remover.
[37:51] Allison: Yours at the 5 and 10.
[37:54] Allison: Then tint with stocking dye, also obtainable at the 5 and 10.
[37:59] Allison: Your stocking will emerge in one handsome shade, and you'll have several pairs ready for wearing.
[38:05] Allison: This hosiery saver works with silk, rayon, cotton, or wool.
[38:11] Allison: I actually kind of like this idea.
[38:13] Allison: Uh I looked it up and color remover is still a thing.
[38:17] Allison: The most popular brand in the States is by Rit, R I T, the company that also makes fabric dye powder.
[38:24] Allison: So in theory, you could remove the color from mismatched socks and then dye them a new color so that you can coordinate pairs, if you will.
[38:34] Allison: And why limit yourself to socks?
[38:35] Allison: You could breathe new life into all sorts of garments and towels and sheets and more with this method.
[38:41] Allison: There are a few limitations.
[38:42] Allison: It does not work well with synthetics.
[38:45] Allison: So you'll want to stick to 100% natural fibers like cotton, wool, and linen and make sure that the thread is also a natural fiber.
[38:55] Allison: I will link a helpful little YouTube video that helps you do this down in the show notes.
[39:00] Allison: And our final hint today will help you save a little money on home energy costs.
[39:06] Allison: Tip number 770.
[39:09] Allison: One authority points out that leaky doors and windows and cracks account for almost one-third the loss of heat from a house.
[39:18] Allison: Storm windows, storm doors, weather stripping, and caulking will cut this waste.
[39:23] Allison: In some cases, saving you up to 20% of the fuel needed for heat.
[39:28] Allison: Now, this was written in the 1940s when homes were much less energy efficient, but even today, the U.S.
[39:34] Allison: Department of Energy states that 25 to 30% of heating and cooling energy is lost through windows alone.
[39:41] Allison: That doesn't mean you need to go out and get all new windows because that's quite a big investment.
[39:46] Allison: You can do a lot to cut down on that loss with the windows and doors that you already have.
[39:51] Allison: Inspect and repair any broken seals, weather stripping, or old crumbling caulk.
[39:56] Allison: Consider installing insulating window film.
[39:59] Allison: You can hire that out or you can do it yourself.
[40:02] Allison: Hang heavy thermal curtains.
[40:05] Allison: This can quite effectively keep the heat inside during the winter and help minimize the heat transfer of your windows during the summer months.
[40:12] Allison: So keeps the hot air in during winter and keeps the cool air in during summer.
[40:17] Allison: If you have a draft coming in under the door or the base of a window, make use of some of those orphan socks and create a draft stopper.
[40:25] Allison: I will link a pattern for that below as well.
[40:27] Allison: Well, that's all for today's historical homemaking hints.
[40:30] Allison: As always, these hints are for entertainment purposes only, and we leave it up to you, the listener, to determine the safety and soundness of this advice.
[40:40] Allison: Now back to our discussion.
[40:43] Allison: Absolutely.
[40:44] Allison: But let's make it let's make it hit a little closer to home.
[40:47] Allison: Okay.
[40:48] Allison: So what if you have a lack of support and you're getting even negative pushback from parents, other family members, and even your spouse?
[41:01] Jessica: Well, I feel like this the the spouse is the one that matters.
[41:05] Allison: Yes.
[41:06] Jessica: You know, parents and other family members.
[41:09] Jessica: Um I think that I got the pushback um personally from once we decided to homeschool because that was taking it to just next level where it's a bridge too far.
[41:24] Jessica: It's too much.
[41:26] Jessica: Because that in essence established me as home for the duration.
[41:31] Allison: Yeah.
[41:32] Jessica: Right.
[41:33] Allison: Not to mention, you know, fringe lunatic, crazy person.
[41:37] Jessica: Right.
[41:38] Jessica: So so um, but I was just like, well, this is what we've decided.
[41:43] Jessica: So you can be on board or you can't.
[41:45] Jessica: Like, I mean, do you want to hang out with us or not?
[41:50] Jessica: Because you're not talking to my kids bad about this.
[41:53] Jessica: So then you can't be around my kids, you know.
[41:56] Jessica: So I think um feeling okay with yourself, being, you know, and I think this goes back to if you're convicted that this is about the what and the why, then these these other things, um, you know, being being true to your convictions, I mean, that's the life of a Christian.
[42:17] Allison: Yeah.
[42:18] Jessica: So so this is not, I'm not saying that you, you know, all Christians have to do this, but I'm just saying it it kind of falls in a similar frame.
[42:27] Jessica: If you if you if you feel called by God to be home with to to focus on your home and to be home with your children, then then that's I'm gonna stick to that kind of thing.
[42:40] Jessica: And um, you know, you could always couch it in the cultures language while I'm just being true to myself.
[42:49] SPEAKER_03: Just turn it back.
[42:50] SPEAKER_03: Translate it.
[42:52] Allison: Translate it in a way they can understand.
[42:55] Jessica: That's so turning back around, you know.
[42:58] Jessica: But but but spouse is a no-go zone.
[43:00] Jessica: Like if you're not both on board, that's gonna be really, really hard.
[43:05] Jessica: And so your husband needs to be, I feel like that that's where it really needs to be unified.
[43:12] Jessica: Um, and hopefully that's a conversation you had before you got married.
[43:16] Jessica: Hopefully that's not hopefully he doesn't feel that's a bait and switch or or that you changed your mind and he didn't.
[43:24] Jessica: And so that's definitely one to bring to the Lord and sure and be praying about and talking about um until you're on the same page.
[43:37] Allison: Um to me, this is well, honestly, I'm probably gonna say this with all three of these barriers and any any other ones we come up with identity.
[43:50] Allison: So I always come back to that.
[43:51] Allison: And I think that's why that's the first pillar of homemaking um in the pillar series is identity, because I Need to know if I feel called to do this thing, me being a homemaker is not my identity.
[44:08] unknown: Right.
[44:09] Allison: My identity is a child of God saved by Christ, by the blood of Christ.
[44:16] Allison: You know, I am a daughter of the king because I am under the blood of Jesus, right?
[44:22] Allison: That's who I am.
[44:23] Allison: Nothing can change that, nothing can take that away.
[44:26] Allison: I can I am still that person whether I stay home full-time or whether I have a job or two outside the home, whether I'm married, whether I'm not married, kids, no kids, that doesn't change that identity.
[44:35] Allison: And so where I get into trouble is when I start attaching my identity to uh my roles, my relationships, or my resources.
[44:44] Allison: And so when we're looking at like relationships with well, let's just start from the outer ring, the the cultural perspective.
[44:52] Allison: If I feel threatened and this this upsets me and it becomes a huge barrier for me to not follow the Lord's leading to come home because of what people will think of me in the culture or in my community, well, that's an identity issue.
[45:07] Allison: That's me caring way too much about my reputation, and and it's a fear of man issue.
[45:12] Allison: Um I think it's still also it to a lesser degree, but in some respects a fear of man issue when we're talking about like our parents or extended family.
[45:22] Allison: It's me carrying what they think.
[45:23] Allison: And that's there's a valid concern there.
[45:25] Allison: Like I don't want there to be, you know, strife in my relationship with my in-laws or my parents or my you know, uncle or sister or whatever.
[45:34] Allison: But like you said, I have to follow the Lord, right?
[45:38] Allison: I have to be in unity with my husband, and I have to follow the Lord.
[45:44] Allison: And so am I willing to even stake the relationship of those people so that I can follow the Lord's guidance in this area and be obedient.
[45:54] Allison: But then when we get closest to home and we get to the spouse, that's where it gets tricky.
[45:59] Allison: And but the same argument I can make the same argument and say, if I am basing my identity on me having to fulfill this particular role, like I must be a homemaker full-time without fail, or I'm not following Jesus correctly.
[46:17] Allison: And my husband is in the way of that, then I'm gonna use all kinds of manipulative tactics.
[46:21] Allison: I'm going to whine and nag and complain and you know make him feel bad, all of the things, because that identity feels threatened.
[46:33] Allison: Am I making sense here?
[46:34] Allison: Yep.
[46:35] Jessica: Okay.
[46:35] Jessica: Yeah.
[46:37] Allison: So all that to say, check your identity.
[46:40] Jessica: Yeah.
[46:40] Jessica: And I would say on the flip side, even if the husband is like, yeah, sure, we can do that, that that is not the kind of support we're talking about.
[46:50] Jessica: Like, like an okay is not the same as, yes, I will do what it takes to make this successful for our family.
[46:59] Jessica: Those are two very different kinds of quote support.
[47:04] Jessica: Um, and and so I I my husband, when I quit my job, um I officially quit my job when our oldest was one year old because I had a year's tenure.
[47:19] Jessica: So I had tenure, so I had a year's leave of absence.
[47:22] Jessica: That's what I meant to say.
[47:23] Jessica: So I quit my job when he turned one, but I had not been working that whole time.
[47:29] Jessica: I was just officially done.
[47:31] Jessica: There was no safety net, there was no, I can go back to teaching.
[47:37] Jessica: And my husband had such an instant boost of confidence that he was providing for our family that that it was on him.
[47:49] Jessica: And and that was a positive effect.
[47:52] Jessica: And and that's a blessing from the Lord because someone else could have felt like, oh my gosh.
[47:58] Jessica: Yeah, yeah, I'm in charge.
[47:59] Jessica: I, you know, I'm responsible for all this now, you know.
[48:02] Jessica: But he said, I feel like that I got a punch on my man card kind of thing.
[48:08] Jessica: Like, you know, like it was, it was like, all right, I'm I'm taking care of my family.
[48:14] Jessica: So, so I think it can have a positive effect for both the husband and the wife, but both the husband and the wife need to be united in this decision because it affects them both.
[48:28] Allison: And and the wife is really committed.
[48:31] Jessica: Yeah, on board.
[48:32] Jessica: Like it's not just a sure, you can do that if you want.
[48:35] Jessica: Like it needs more than that.
[48:37] Allison: Right, right.
[48:38] Allison: And we're gonna talk a little bit more practically about what that looks like and some steps to take.
[48:43] Allison: Um, but ultimate, ultimately, the first step is to take it to the Lord in prayer.
[48:47] Allison: Whatever, whatever pushback uh or lack of support you're feeling, you have to start with taking it to the Lord and and holding it loosely, like have an open hand and be like, okay, Lord, this is what I I desire or I feel like you're calling me to, but it's not my identity's not here and I'm I'm holding it loosely.
[49:06] Allison: Um, what about some fear issues?
[49:08] Allison: Like, what what kinds of fear besides the fear of man?
[49:13] Allison: We've kind of already covered that with the lack of support, but what other fears might we have?
[49:18] Jessica: I think for me it was a lot of second guessing.
[49:20] Jessica: Is this the right thing?
[49:22] Jessica: Am I making the right decision?
[49:24] Jessica: Um and so feeling like going back to do I feel convicted, do I feel convicted that this is what I should do?
[49:32] Jessica: And if so, then I need to go forward and I need to be confident in that.
[49:38] Jessica: And um, that can mess with your head a little bit when you go, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done this, right?
[49:43] Jessica: Um but but I think there's there's enough, I personally feel enough conviction for lots of people.
[49:56] Jessica: Yeah, like I feel like this is a good thing to do.
[49:59] Jessica: And and and I can say that 30 years in, looking back and going, this is one of the best decisions I ever made in my whole life.
[50:07] Jessica: And I would 10 out of 10 make this decision again.
[50:10] Allison: Oh, I yeah, same.
[50:13] Allison: I agree 100%.
[50:15] Allison: So um, yeah, I think all the things that I wrote down fit underneath that broad heading of what you just said.
[50:22] Allison: You know, is this the right decision?
[50:24] Allison: Because it might not be the right decision, because number one, maybe I'm not good at this, which you've already addressed.
[50:30] Allison: Nobody's good at it.
[50:32] Allison: I think some people may have certain giftings that lend themselves better to being a homemaker, but it's the see, these are learned skills.
[50:41] Allison: This is something you have to work at learning how to how to do.
[50:44] Allison: Uh, what if I get bored?
[50:46] Allison: Or what if I hate it?
[50:48] Allison: That's a common.
[50:49] Jessica: And again, I think that falls into identity and and what what did you think this was about?
[50:54] Jessica: Because there's always more to learn, there's always more to get better at.
[50:59] Jessica: Like there's really no room to be bored, yeah, but it it's that falls like in the fear, maybe.
[51:07] Allison: Um yeah, I well, and it falls under expectations too, which we're gonna talk about in part two about managing your expectations when you get into this.
[51:15] Allison: Um what if you're scared about messing up your kids?
[51:20] Allison: Because some people are like, I don't want to be around my kids that much because I'm gonna mess them up.
[51:25] Jessica: Well, so I grew up in a large extended, I grew up in a large extended family of um professional educators, and I knew how human those people were.
[51:38] SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
[51:40] Jessica: And and what mistakes and I got, you know, I sat in the teacher's lounge from birth listening to teachers.
[51:47] Jessica: I was like, okay, the professionals are not all that amazing.
[51:50] Jessica: They are real people.
[51:52] Jessica: Just like give it me.
[51:53] Jessica: Yeah.
[51:54] Jessica: So they have just as much chance of screwing up your kids as you do.
[51:59] Jessica: So I'd rather, I'd rather be the one to I I remember very distinctly having this thought.
[52:07] Jessica: I would rather be responsible for anything that gets screwed up rather than feel helpless because someone else is doing it.
[52:17] Allison: That's true.
[52:18] Allison: That's a good point.
[52:19] Jessica: And not have any recourse over that situation because the babysitter did this or the preschool teacher did this, or whatever.
[52:30] Allison: That's a really good point.
[52:31] Allison: Yeah.
[52:32] Allison: Also, I received some encouragement uh when I was parenting, you know, and doing some hard parenting stuff when my kids were younger, and an older mom just encouraged me and said, you know, you may feel ill-equipped and you may feel like you don't know what you're doing, but God chose you specifically to be the mother of this specific child for a reason for his his or her sanctification and for yours.
[53:02] Allison: Like he's doing a work in both of you, and he's uh he's gonna equip you for the work.
[53:07] Jessica: Um nothing surprises God.
[53:10] Allison: Yeah.
[53:12] unknown: Yeah.
[53:13] Jessica: And and so he has he has provision for for us in, you know, for you and me.
[53:21] Jessica: We don't know what old age looks like and what's coming down the pike.
[53:24] Jessica: Exactly.
[53:25] Jessica: And and he's provided for that.
[53:28] Jessica: He is not surprised.
[53:29] Jessica: He's not surprised.
[53:31] Jessica: He is a good God who loves us.
[53:32] Jessica: And when you think about how much you love your children, you're gonna you're not surprised when they fall off the bike.
[53:38] Jessica: You're not surprised when that wrestling match goes south.
[53:40] Jessica: Like, you know, those things are gonna happen, but you've got ice packs and band-aids.
[53:47] Jessica: Like you, you have you're ready.
[53:49] Jessica: So God is so much better at that than we are.
[53:54] Allison: Right.
[53:55] Allison: And that verse where Jesus is like, you know, if your kid asks you for a piece of bread, are you gonna give him a stone?
[54:04] Allison: You know, I mean, like you are imperfect and you know how to parent your children well.
[54:09] Allison: Think of how much better God knows how to parent us and provide for us, which is one of the other fears.
[54:14] Allison: Um, and this I've actually received uh a note from a listener specifically about this.
[54:20] Allison: This is something she was struggling with on the cusp of making that decision to stay home.
[54:25] Allison: But what about those medical or financial disasters that we cannot foresee?
[54:29] Allison: You know, what do we do about that?
[54:31] Allison: Like, how do we plan for that?
[54:32] Allison: How do we how do we handle that when that comes?
[54:35] Allison: Um, and we will talk about that later, but I think that underlying principle of what you just said is God is not surprised by any of it.
[54:43] Allison: He knows it's coming and he will equip you and provide.
[54:48] Jessica: And I'm I'm blanking on the title of the hymn, but how I've proved him or and or, right?
[54:54] Jessica: Like, like these trials come and and God shows up and he shows up in ways that you could not expect.
[55:01] Jessica: And and I could recount a dozen different stories.
[55:06] Jessica: Um a deer totals our truck, our our well freezes, and and we don't have money to fix these things.
[55:14] Jessica: My husband's back goes out and he's self-employed, so there are no sick days, like over and over and over again, those things happened.
[55:22] Jessica: And they and I I I acknowledge those are absolutely scary.
[55:27] Jessica: Those can just ruffle you more than ruffle you, you know.
[55:32] Jessica: They they will be the in the moment, they will feel like you're ready to just freak out and go, what are we supposed to do?
[55:40] Jessica: But yet God proves Himself through those things.
[55:45] Jessica: And um that's that's I I don't want I don't want to be trite and not acknowledge the realness of those fears.
[55:57] Jessica: But as I look back at the last 30 years, I go, the thing I regret is being fearful and not trusting God.
[56:08] Jessica: That's what I fear.
[56:10] Jessica: Um, or that's what I regret is those fears.
[56:14] Jessica: Um not the tr not that we lived this life, but that I didn't enjoy it, I could have enjoyed it a lot more.
[56:22] Jessica: And I did enjoy it, but I could, you know, it could have been uh a next level experience if I hadn't been so scared.
[56:29] Allison: Yeah.
[56:29] Allison: No, that's a great point.
[56:30] Allison: How much the how much the fear robs us of the joy that God has for us in each in each moment, in each experience, because we're so afraid of what might be what might be around the corner while we know that God is already there.
[56:44] Jessica: Right.
[56:44] Jessica: And he makes us stronger, he makes our kids stronger.
[56:47] Jessica: He uses, he doesn't waste any of that.
[56:50] Jessica: He's not gonna waste any of those hard things.
[56:53] Jessica: He's gonna use it for for our good and his glory.
[56:57] Jessica: Like that's part of the deal.
[56:59] Jessica: Yes.
[56:59] Jessica: So it's it's just being able to talk yourself off the ledge when when those things are happening.
[57:07] Allison: Right.
[57:08] Allison: Right.
[57:09] Allison: So lack of support, fear, and then money.
[57:12] Allison: Uh I mean, money is probably the biggest, you know, perceived barrier to making this decision to come home full-time and and live on one income.
[57:23] Allison: And I think under the heading of money, we would we would put things like debt, um, debt that you already have.
[57:30] Allison: Maybe you have student debt, maybe, maybe you, you know, just recently learned how to be fiscally responsible, but you're still paying the consequence with debt that you know got in your youth or whatever.
[57:41] Allison: Um, high cost of living, uh, which we've already addressed.
[57:44] Allison: It is more expensive to live than it was 30 years ago.
[57:48] Allison: Um, food, health care, like how are we gonna pay for health care?
[57:51] Allison: Maybe, maybe the wife is getting the benefits in the family and has to give that up if she's gonna come home full-time.
[57:57] Allison: So these are very real concerns.
[58:01] Allison: Um along with that, I would also put lifestyle expectations.
[58:06] Allison: So this is something that we're gonna talk about here when we when we get into budgeting and and money um more in depth, but just really considering what is it that you expect as your bare minimum, you know, to be able to thrive?
[58:27] Allison: What is a thriving lifestyle look like to you?
[58:30] Allison: What is, you know, what are your expectations and are they realistic?
[58:34] Allison: Are they um are they entitled?
[58:39] Allison: You know, that's hard.
[58:41] Allison: What and what's your what's your point of reference?
[58:44] Allison: Like sometimes I hear, um, and I I don't want to paint broad strokes and and lump everybody into one category generationally, but I do hear an argument um from some of the younger generations that they have it much harder, it's much harder than it was.
[59:00] Allison: They're facing more challenging circumstances, and in a way they are because there's different challenges for 20, you know, first century life than there was 50 or 60 years ago.
[59:12] Allison: But we are not living through a depression and a dust bowl and a world war.
[59:17] Allison: And even if you were to go to other places in the world, Second World War.
[59:20] Allison: Right, exactly.
[59:21] Allison: Right.
[59:22] Allison: Even if you went to other places in the world right now in 2025 where they do experience real extreme poverty and want, most of the people that live in that country, you know, we are so wealthy in this country.
[59:36] Allison: And I know there are people who don't experience, you know, they do have hardship in this country.
[59:41] Allison: I am not, I am acknowledging that, but just I think it's important to have the right perspective when it comes to lifestyle expectations.
[59:47] Allison: I guess that's what I'm trying to say.
[59:49] Jessica: Yeah.
[59:49] Jessica: And I think I remember when because we're we're the same age-ish and got married at the same time and started having kids at the same time.
[59:59] Jessica: I think our generation was probably the first we were accused of trying to accumulate in a few years what the previous ones had taken a lifetime to acquire.
[1:00:09] Jessica: Exactly.
[1:00:09] Jessica: Um, and I think that's ramped up even more so.
[1:00:14] Jessica: Yeah.
[1:00:15] Jessica: Like it's gone wild now.
[1:00:17] Jessica: Like it's like, whoa, you know, I mean and and I think there's a lot of there's a lot of ways we can hack the money thing.
[1:00:27] Jessica: Um I mean, we still have we still have an IKEA table that we bought in 1994.
[1:00:34] SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
[1:00:37] Jessica: There's there's lots of hacks, there's lots of answers on a practical level.
[1:00:41] Allison: Um we're gonna talk about that in part two, definitely.
[1:00:46] Allison: Yeah.
[1:00:47] Allison: So okay, let's wrap up this part of the conversation with a little bit on how to come home uh full time.
[1:00:55] Allison: I am pulling some of this from a book and is dated, and it did some some of it did not age well.
[1:01:03] unknown: I will say that.
[1:01:05] SPEAKER_03: But and we both read this book.
[1:01:09] SPEAKER_03: This book was was fundamental.
[1:01:12] Allison: It was.
[1:01:13] Allison: It was published.
[1:01:14] Allison: When was this published?
[1:01:15] Allison: 1992.
[1:01:18] Allison: 95.
[1:01:19] Allison: 95.
[1:01:20] Allison: Okay.
[1:01:20] Allison: Uh, it's called Women Leaving the Workplace by Larry Burkett.
[1:01:24] Allison: Um, How to Make the Transition from Work to Home.
[1:01:27] Allison: And there is a lot of practical, really great suggestions in here.
[1:01:31] Allison: Um, my copy is flagged with all kinds of annotations and notes that I took.
[1:01:36] Allison: I read it back in the day and then I reread it to prepare for this um this series.
[1:01:41] Allison: So, knowing that, this is where I'm pulling some of this from and some of my own research and my own experience as well.
[1:01:46] Allison: So, I would say before you quit, with your husband, okay?
[1:01:51] Allison: Seek the Lord in prayer, seek some input and some counsel from others who are living this life that you are aspiring to, and then sober soberly consider the costs and the benefits.
[1:02:04] Allison: So, what would you like to add to that, or what would you like to say about that?
[1:02:09] Jessica: Um I would agree.
[1:02:12] Jessica: Like, I think that those are I I think the with your husband part, and that's the hard part because maybe some guys are like, well, we don't need to pray about it.
[1:02:26] Jessica: We already know we want to do it.
[1:02:27] Jessica: We already feel like we have the the we already feel like we have the conviction to do this.
[1:02:32] Jessica: So, you know, but you know, gently be praying, be praying together.
[1:02:39] Jessica: And um, and I think that it may be hard to find people living this life in your personal circle if you don't.
[1:02:52] Jessica: And if that's the case, message me because yes, my husband and I love to geek out over this.
[1:03:02] Jessica: You know, we we do, we want, we see the fruit.
[1:03:05] Jessica: We see the fruit, and we're excited, really excited about the fruit that we see in our kids and our family.
[1:03:11] Jessica: Um yeah, and and I think considering the costs and benefits, yes, but don't get so bogged down in the weeds, in the details, that you start talking yourself out of it.
[1:03:26] Jessica: Like just recognize what they are, you know.
[1:03:30] Jessica: So it's counting the cost, but recognizing, like, oh, but but God has if this is the plan God has for us, He will provide for this.
[1:03:39] Jessica: And yes, we are hacking through the jungle.
[1:03:42] Jessica: There will be surprises.
[1:03:43] Jessica: We we can't predict the whole thing.
[1:03:48] Jessica: And and there are um individuals because sometimes they're the husband, sometimes they're the wife, but well, we gotta like price it all out and we gotta, we gotta get a spreadsheet and know how much it's all gonna cost, you know.
[1:04:03] Jessica: And it's like, yes, that's good, but but don't let it become fearful, yeah.
[1:04:10] Allison: Don't let it disuake you.
[1:04:11] Jessica: And scripture says don't be scared of the things that are fearful, like like God's recognizing that it is fearful, but you don't need to be scared of it.
[1:04:22] Jessica: So it's it's yeah.
[1:04:24] Allison: Don't be ruled by fear, yeah.
[1:04:26] Jessica: Right.
[1:04:27] Allison: Yeah.
[1:04:28] Allison: Okay.
[1:04:29] Allison: So Larry's suggestions, uh, when you're ready to move forward, okay, you are first of all, you should be of one mind, husband and wife, and we've already addressed that.
[1:04:40] Allison: Um, number two, adjust to a one income budget for at least three months.
[1:04:47] Allison: Do you agree with that?
[1:04:47] Allison: Or do you think it should be longer?
[1:04:52] Jessica: I bought this book when I right before I got pregnant or when I was pregnant.
[1:04:59] Jessica: So we had a distinct timeline because the baby was my deadline.
[1:05:04] Jessica: Um I think if you don't have children, then do it from the get-go.
[1:05:13] Jessica: Yeah.
[1:05:13] Jessica: Right.
[1:05:14] Jessica: Try to live on one budget, I mean one income from the get-go, because that will just hone your tops.
[1:05:23] Jessica: Um, saving money is never a bad idea.
[1:05:26] Jessica: Like it's rare that not sp you know, versus spending, right?
[1:05:31] Jessica: Obviously, giving giving is always good, but saving is also good.
[1:05:36] Allison: Yeah.
[1:05:37] Jessica: I mean, saving versus spending.
[1:05:39] Jessica: Um, a good book on this, my husband and I both read earlier in the year.
[1:05:42] Jessica: It's called The Psychology of Money, and um kind of addresses some of that idea of, you know, just being able to save is good because it gives you a lot of options.
[1:05:53] Allison: Right.
[1:05:54] Jessica: Um, and so it's it's good for anybody, but particularly if you're getting married or You're young, married before children.
[1:06:02] Jessica: I think the the longer runway you can have, the better.
[1:06:07] Jessica: The better.
[1:06:08] Jessica: Um, but I would say, you know, it depends on your job, you know, if you're a teacher, then then it's it's kinder to your students and your faculty if if you're ending at the end of the school year.
[1:06:25] Jessica: So you might start practicing sooner in the school year than September, you know, like you don't want to quit mid-year.
[1:06:35] Jessica: So I think I think it would depend on your job and what your commitments are.
[1:06:39] Jessica: Um, but definitely have an end date.
[1:06:42] Allison: Yeah.
[1:06:42] Allison: That's what that was the third thing was set a realistic, definite quit date.
[1:06:47] Jessica: Yeah.
[1:06:47] Allison: So with that in mind, then work backwards to say, okay, how where where do we want to start practicing this one income living?
[1:06:54] Jessica: Right.
[1:06:54] Jessica: Right.
[1:06:55] Jessica: And I mean, as soon as possible, if if you feel like this is if that could be part of your soberly considered the costs and benefits, is just start doing it.
[1:07:05] Jessica: Yeah.
[1:07:05] Jessica: Like cut the expenses, see how it feels.
[1:07:09] Jessica: What does it because because our the our philosophy was, you know, what if one of us lost our jobs anyways?
[1:07:16] Allison: Like, yeah.
[1:07:18] Allison: That's true.
[1:07:19] Jessica: That's a very real possibility these days.
[1:07:22] Jessica: So if you're only living on one income, then one of you could lose their job and you'd be okay.
[1:07:28] Jessica: Like you don't need to be devastated by by changes in in the market.
[1:07:34] Jessica: So so I would say, um, you know, it it can be a good practice regardless, but start as soon as you think you might want to because that could be part of your research.
[1:07:45] Jessica: And you go, oh, oh, we can't we can't go to Hawaii every year.
[1:07:53] Jessica: We might have to sell the boat and and the jet skis and the whatever, you know, or the second car.
[1:08:00] Jessica: Right.
[1:08:01] Jessica: There's lots of toys that you don't realize are toys that you go, oh, we can't do that thing.
[1:08:07] Jessica: Yeah, yeah.
[1:08:08] Jessica: If we want to do this thing.
[1:08:09] Jessica: And so um, that could be part of your before you quit, like in your early research stages, just figuring out what what would the what would the cost be to us?
[1:08:20] Jessica: What would we have to give up?
[1:08:21] Allison: That's such a good point because you can theorize all day long, uh, but until you actually live it, you don't really know what the experience is going to be like.
[1:08:29] Allison: So that would be a great experiment.
[1:08:31] Allison: That would be a great experiment.
[1:08:33] Jessica: Husband takes the bus to work.
[1:08:38] Jessica: That changes the experience.
[1:08:40] SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
[1:08:41] Jessica: Sometimes for better, sometimes not.
[1:08:44] Jessica: You know, you and then then you know what you're getting yourself into.
[1:08:48] Jessica: Like, like you can't know everything that you're getting yourself into, but those are some things, those are some things you can predict, you can test those.
[1:08:58] Jessica: You can, well, would the train be better than the bus?
[1:09:01] Jessica: Would you know, like would a carpool be better than than whatever?
[1:09:06] Jessica: So um you can start playing with some of those before it matters.
[1:09:10] Jessica: It's like practice, yeah, before the game.
[1:09:12] Jessica: Yeah, you know, and and so um, but yeah, I would having a all those are good.
[1:09:20] Jessica: All those are good.
[1:09:21] Allison: Yep.
[1:09:21] Allison: Which also this this thing we're talking about doing would help facilitate number four that he recommends.
[1:09:28] Allison: Build a cash reserve and plan for replenishing it.
[1:09:30] Allison: This was your point and plan for replenishing it should you need to dig into it.
[1:09:33] Jessica: So because he didn't make that second point.
[1:09:36] Allison: He just said build a cash reserve, which you can do if you do the experiment of living on one income when you don't when you still have two, you're building a cash reserve.
[1:09:45] Jessica: In my memory, it was six months.
[1:09:47] Allison: Okay.
[1:09:48] Jessica: Um, and and nowadays everybody knows about an emergency fund.
[1:09:52] Jessica: Anyone who's followed any personal finance guru, they know, you know, what Larry Briquette was talking about was just having an emergency fund.
[1:10:01] Allison: Yeah.
[1:10:01] Jessica: But what and and we faithfully, you know, we saved during that last year of teaching, you know, we had like six months banked before I quit.
[1:10:15] Jessica: But it never occurred to me we have to refill that if we use it.
[1:10:20] Jessica: And if you're already just everything's tight.
[1:10:24] Jessica: If everything's tight and you're digging in, then how can you refill?
[1:10:30] Jessica: And so making sure that you've got a margin in that zero-based budget so that you're able to fill the bucket back up or you're able to save for for the fun things, right?
[1:10:44] Jessica: Because all work and no play is going to make you both kind of sad.
[1:10:48] Jessica: So making sure that you've got some some creative ways to refill when if and when you need to dig into your emergency fund.
[1:10:59] Allison: Yeah.
[1:11:00] Allison: Okay.
[1:11:01] Allison: Number five of what to do when you're ready to move forward.
[1:11:05] Allison: Establish a typical schedule for yourself as a full-time homemaker.
[1:11:12] Allison: How does one do that if they've never done full-time homemaking?
[1:11:18] Jessica: Oh, sleep in.
[1:11:19] Jessica: I get to sleep in until nine or 10, and then I can have brunch and read a book.
[1:11:29] Jessica: It's way too easy to fritter away your day.
[1:11:32] Allison: I know, I know.
[1:11:33] Allison: We just, and I think probably for most people, they would swing one way or the other.
[1:11:38] Allison: Like they, and not necessarily out of laziness, but they might just out of per uh option paralysis um or just kind of not not being real intentional about, like you said, treating it like a job and and um being very intentional about the use of your time.
[1:11:55] Allison: But then others who would swing the opposite way and just um schedule every nanosecond, you know, schedule the day to within an inch of its life.
[1:12:07] Jessica: And and I I guess I would I would I think of a good term that maybe would cover everybody is establish a rhythm.
[1:12:15] Allison: Yeah.
[1:12:16] Jessica: A rhythm because not everything's gonna go, whether you, you know, there are full-time homemakers who don't have children at home, there are full-time homemakers with children.
[1:12:26] Jessica: That's a different experience when there's gonna be interruptions and things, you know.
[1:12:33] Jessica: But if you have a rhythm for how you go throughout the day, yeah, um, and how you think through things, and there's maybe um I heard I heard one person call them pegs, that you have pegs throughout the day where um, you know, before lunch you're gonna have accomplished these things, and after lunch, you're gonna do these other things, and before you know, and then you're ready for dinner and and to to have a rhythm, and those change with the seasons of life, they change with the seasons of the year.
[1:13:05] Jessica: Um but um, you know, looking at it as as a job, not in the sense of I'm clocking in and I'm getting a paycheck, but that I'm taking it seriously, that this vocation of mine is one that I take seriously.
[1:13:22] Jessica: Yeah.
[1:13:22] Allison: Um and it holds you accountable um to yourself, to your husband.
[1:13:30] Allison: You know, because if you're gonna make all these sacrifices in order to do this, then like you said, don't fritter away the time.
[1:13:38] Allison: Um which would be silly.
[1:13:40] Allison: So in light of the sacrifices, right?
[1:13:44] Allison: Uh okay, and then those were his five, and then I added a couple extra ones.
[1:13:48] Allison: Um, number six, prepare to make sacrifices in your lifestyle, your reputation, and your expectations.
[1:13:55] Allison: Um, and your point was to treat it like a career there.
[1:13:59] Jessica: And and I would say, you know, read, learn, study, ask questions, listen to podcasts while you fold laundry.
[1:14:07] Jessica: Um and and this I think is a is probably even exile-ish.
[1:14:15] Jessica: Um, I'm sure she she made this point, but if you think about what you can accomplish in the workplace, if you can accomplish great things in your um whatever job you would, you know, studied and trained for, um, think about what you can do as the CEO of your own home.
[1:14:33] Allison: Yeah.
[1:14:33] Jessica: Right.
[1:14:33] Jessica: It's not just the status quo, it's not just keeping up on the laundry, but it's how can we make this home really that place of rest and joy and gospel-filled.
[1:14:48] Jessica: You know, maybe it's we're able to have more people over.
[1:14:51] Jessica: Maybe we're able to host more often.
[1:14:54] Jessica: Maybe we're inviting new people from church, maybe we're hosting Bible study, maybe we're having the kids' friends over more often, and you're able to do this because you haven't used up everything you had for uh the boss outside the home.
[1:15:11] Jessica: You're you're you're able to do these things in your home.
[1:15:16] Jessica: Um, and so it it's not just it's not just that housekeeping, but it's the the homemaking, like you're making a home.
[1:15:27] Jessica: You're not just taking care of the house and and to differentiate between those two things and really, you know, if you if you for those who went to college, right, you spent four years learning this thing.
[1:15:40] Jessica: If you went to trade school, you went to so many years to learn this, to learn this trade.
[1:15:45] Jessica: But what about spending that that energy into becoming really great at things of your home, whether that's cooking or or entertaining or you know, the other other things.
[1:16:00] Jessica: Um Yeah.
[1:16:02] Allison: It's that return on the investment that that's where she talks about that.
[1:16:05] Allison: When she's saying, you know, we have a surplus of time and and resources like no other women in history, and and what are we doing with it to really benefit our households and really do our job well.
[1:16:20] Allison: Um, we've been called to do this thing of the way she talks about it is in it like enfleshing the enfleshing the gospel um through our homemaking, putting putting it on display through words and pictures of cookies and you know, smells and sights and sounds and all those kinds of things.
[1:16:38] Allison: We enflesh it.
[1:16:39] Allison: Um we have so many different ways we can do that.
[1:16:44] Allison: And and we should do it excellently, you know, and not not waste and squander the opportunities and the resources that we have.
[1:16:50] Jessica: And and doing it in a way that reflects your family's personality.
[1:16:55] Allison: Yes, exactly.
[1:16:56] Jessica: Not someone else's, because that's the beauty of being the homemaker of your home.
[1:17:01] Jessica: Right.
[1:17:01] Jessica: Is that it doesn't look like mine and it doesn't look like Allison's, it looks like your family lives here and and it is reflective of what's important to you and what you're interested in and the gifts and talents of the people that live there.
[1:17:15] Jessica: Yeah, and to really just immerse yourself in gratefulness for this little existence that God has made for you and your people.
[1:17:29] Allison: And finally, move forward, not in self-confidence, but in Christ confidence.
[1:17:36] Allison: So just recognizing that this is all from him, to him, for him.
[1:17:43] Allison: Um, we don't pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and muster through it out of our own strength.
[1:17:48] Allison: It's it comes from an overflow of the spirit, uh, the fruit of the spirit in our lives.
[1:17:54] Allison: And we have to cultivate that fruit by being in his presence and spending time with him and inviting him in to be an integral part of our household in our lives.
[1:18:04] Allison: So yes, that's all I have on this part.
[1:18:11] Jessica: We did pretty good.
[1:18:12] Jessica: We only went.
[1:18:12] Jessica: We did pretty good.
[1:18:13] Jessica: We've spent just we we we were a little squirrely at the beginning.
[1:18:16] Jessica: I don't know, just over an hour.
[1:18:19] Jessica: We pulled it in.
[1:18:20] Jessica: We pulled it in because I'm sure there's a little bit of cutting to do at the beginning.
[1:18:24] Allison: Probably so, but um okay, so we're gonna we're gonna end that part of the discussion, and we will be back next week with part two of this discussion where we're gonna get into some practical things about what does it look like to live on one income and what are some tips and resources that we can give you to help you do that.
[1:18:44] Allison: Um do that faithfully and in a way that helps your family to thrive.
[1:18:49] Allison: So, thank you for being here.
[1:18:53] Allison: Thank you for listening to this deep dive into So You Want to Be a Full-Time Homemaker.
[1:18:59] Allison: I hope our conversation today has encouraged you wherever you land on this topic.
[1:19:05] Allison: As I said earlier in the episode, our goal is not to bind your conscience with hard and fast rules about whether you should or should not be a full-time homemaker.
[1:19:14] Allison: That is a very personal decision between you, your husband, and God.
[1:19:18] Allison: Our goal is simply to give you permission, regardless of what the culture says, to consider this as a legitimate career, if you will.
[1:19:27] Allison: And then to help you think through your what and why, that is the principles, so that you can determine your how, that is the application.
[1:19:36] Allison: Everyone's application of the what and the why, those principles, that's gonna look different because we all have different and unique circumstances, even throughout the seasons of our own lives.
[1:19:47] Allison: So here's your call to action, the part of the show where I give you some homework to think about or do related to this episode.
[1:19:54] Allison: Number one, if you want to be home full-time or have already made the jump, make sure you are very clear on your why.
[1:20:04] Allison: Like Jessica said, being clear on your why will help you keep going when it gets hard or the sacrifices feel like too much.
[1:20:12] Allison: Discuss this with your husband and even draft a homemaker's mission statement together that aligns with your family values and priorities.
[1:20:20] Allison: Number two, consider the barriers you may be facing.
[1:20:24] Allison: Is it a lack of support from the culture or extended family?
[1:20:29] Allison: Are you fearful about the what ifs we talked about?
[1:20:32] Allison: And then when it comes to money, is the math not mathing?
[1:20:36] Allison: Bring all of this to the Lord in prayer with your husband.
[1:20:40] Allison: The Lord will answer and he will provide in his timing.
[1:20:44] Allison: So pray for patience as well.
[1:20:47] Allison: And then finally, number three, once you have made the decision, consider the steps of what to do before you quit and how to move forward in coming home full time.
[1:20:57] Allison: I will post those lists on the companion blog post for this episode linked below.
[1:21:02] Allison: If you have questions or comments about this episode, I would love to hear from you.
[1:21:07] Allison: Send me an email at contact at theartofome podcast.com or send me a one-way text message using the link right there in your podcast player.
[1:21:17] Allison: It's on the episode page, usually right under the cover art.
[1:21:21] Allison: I cannot text you back, so be sure to include your name and your email if you want a direct reply.
[1:21:28] Allison: As always, I so appreciate your help in spreading the word about this podcast.
[1:21:33] Allison: Please pass it on to a homemaker you know and leave us a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts.
[1:21:39] Allison: And if you want to help cover some of the production costs, you can give over at buymeacoffee.com/slash theartofome in$5 increments, as little or as much as you would like.
[1:21:50] Allison: Every bit of support helps, and I am so grateful for you all.
[1:21:54] Allison: Thanks again to Jessica for partnering with me in this series.
[1:21:58] Allison: Be sure to check out her blogs, goodcheeats.com and lifeasmom.com, for tons of money saving, time saving, and homemaker sanity saving tips.
[1:22:09] Allison: I will put all her links below as well.
[1:22:12] Allison: That's all for this episode.
[1:22:14] Allison: I'll be back on Monday with our final Monday motivation of the summer season.
[1:22:18] Allison: And on Wednesday, we will cap off the season with part two of this discussion Thriving as a full time homemaker.
[1:22:25] Allison: Until then, keep practicing your art of making a home.

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