# the art of equanimity || how to find your center as a fiery passionate girly

An episode of [Skinny Dipping](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1550086447), 31 Mar 2026, 23 min.

Audio: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.megaphone.fm/APO3740876745.mp3

a guide for the deep feelers for finding real center and peace that makes sense for you <3 All things Kela Rose https://www.bringsoul.life/portal/sundazedkk

## Transcript

[0:00] This is the art of equanimity, because as somebody who feels as
[0:03] though they were born passionate and intense and a little bit off
[0:09] centered, this is how I maintain my center while also keeping my
[0:12] fire, my spice, my bad bitch self.
[0:15] Let's get into it. What is up guys?
[0:22] And welcome back to my garden. I'm Kayla Rose and this is
[0:25] getting to bring the podcast. If you're new here, hey, comment
[0:28] where you're listening from or if you're returning, also
[0:30] comment just like where you're tuning in from.
[0:32] I'm so grateful for this community of literally over
[0:35] 200,000 of you like with the podcast and then over like
[0:38] 300,000 across social media platforms.
[0:41] I can't even, I can't even get into it.
[0:42] I'm so fucking grateful. And I really wanted to talk
[0:45] about how to stay centered in struggle, especially if you're
[0:48] not somebody who is level headed.
[0:50] I feel like when I was looking into ideologies in the past and
[0:54] in research of this current episode, I was like, wow, I feel
[0:58] like so much of the advice out there is to have this very
[1:02] centered approach to life, equanimity, right?
[1:05] And I really wanted to dissect it and be like, what does this
[1:08] look like for somebody like me? What does this look like for
[1:10] somebody who like, honestly, to quote my mom, she's like, you
[1:13] came out of the womb like dancing and singing.
[1:17] She was like, my hips literally opened apart.
[1:19] Like you just came out into the world.
[1:21] Like I feel like I was born with a lot of fire, a lot of power, a
[1:24] lot of intensity. And if you're somebody like
[1:26] that, but you still want to maintain a centered, grounded
[1:29] point of view, I wanted to get into that topic and just kind of
[1:33] be like, how do we actually fucking do that?
[1:35] You know, as somebody who maybe doesn't relate to a more level
[1:40] headed approach to life, like I actually enjoy the passion, the
[1:44] intensity, the extremes, feeling a lot of joy, and then also
[1:49] experiencing a lot of grief. Like life is fucking full
[1:51] spectrum. And I actually love that about
[1:54] life, even though it fucking sucks sometimes, I actually
[1:57] really do love that part about life.
[1:58] And I don't want to compromise that by becoming this like kind
[2:02] of moderate type of person. But I still, I still want peace.
[2:06] So I actually wrote down a bunch of ideas in my journal.
[2:08] So we're just going to get into it.
[2:09] The art of equanimity from my point of view, how to stay
[2:13] centered and struggle as a passionate, intense girly.
[2:16] Just a little overlook of what we're going to get into this
[2:19] episode. First, we're going to get into
[2:20] the concept of desire versus surrender.
[2:23] And how do we know what we want and go after we want, but also
[2:26] surrender to what is coming in life?
[2:28] And how do we have this balanced and grounded approach to life,
[2:33] even when things feel like they are tornadoing around us?
[2:36] And then we're going to get into my 4 tangible and actionable
[2:40] tips on how we can actually create more equanimity.
[2:44] Our version. Our version so before we get
[2:48] into it, I'm Kayla Rose this is skinny dipping subscribe follow
[2:50] follow us on Instagram Sundays KK skinny dipping Diaries tag us
[2:53] where you're listening if you're on a hot girl walk, if you're on
[2:55] a hot girl drive, whatever it is tag us where you're listening
[2:58] and let's strip down and dive in metaphorically to the mind body
[3:01] in soul. This is skinny dipping.
[3:04] I love that I get to say that. Like I've gotten to say that for
[3:07] like almost four years now. Like that's crazy.
[3:10] Welcome to the art of equanimity.
[3:12] Take out your pens and papers, write down your downloads.
[3:15] In the past, I feel like I've saw the model citizens of
[3:18] centeredness and groundedness within spiritual communities
[3:21] look like very calm, centered, level headed, sometimes soft
[3:27] spoken people. And that chill level headed calm
[3:31] just doesn't really resonate with me.
[3:32] I feel like I, as I was saying before, I feel like I'm somebody
[3:35] who was literally born out of the womb with fucking fire and
[3:38] passion. But at the same time, I do want
[3:41] peace. So when I was starting to look
[3:43] into equanimity, especially when we're looking around the takes
[3:46] in Buddhism or Taoism, a lot of the Eastern traditions, I'm not
[3:50] going to go fully into those concepts today.
[3:52] But when we look across cultures as well as within Western
[3:56] psychology, we see that there is this idea of detached Ness, this
[4:01] surrender to life, this practice of inaction or non action and
[4:06] trusting the flow of the river. We see this concept across
[4:11] cultures, and I was looking at equanimity and technically what
[4:15] it is, what it says it is, is mental calmness and composure.
[4:19] If we're looking at equanimity in the simplest sense, it's
[4:21] literally mental calmness and composure.
[4:24] That's what I wrote in my notes. But I was just like, I just feel
[4:27] like there's a way to create this energy of equanimity and
[4:30] centeredness while still maintaining the desires, the
[4:33] wants and the fire and the action while still continuing to
[4:38] feel the flow of the river. And I saw someone say in my
[4:42] research on this YouTube video, I was like watching YouTube
[4:45] videos with like 200 views. I was like, I'm really going
[4:49] down these rabbit holes. But I saw equanimity be
[4:53] described as radical non interference.
[4:57] And I was like, wow, I feel like that is a beautiful way to
[5:02] almost be like, OK, I can still live my life and take action and
[5:06] move towards the inspired action that I'm feeling.
[5:09] I can take steps towards the call that is pulling me.
[5:12] And at the same time, maybe I shouldn't have to like, put my
[5:16] hands in everything and try to control everything.
[5:19] Because trying to radically and aggressively control something
[5:23] like closes off our abundance. I think it closes off not only
[5:27] our creativity and our creative solutions and, you know, just
[5:31] genuinely feeling good in our body.
[5:34] Like when we're trying to have this like death grip control on
[5:37] life. It's actually so beautiful to be
[5:39] like, oh, I can take action and I can also let it go when
[5:42] confirmation and I can also surrender.
[5:45] For example, like I've been going through loss and grief in
[5:48] our family and in that I've been a little extra anxious just in
[5:53] the night time. So I was like, saw there's this
[5:56] pimple underneath my skin and I was messing with it.
[6:00] It was probably like not going to be anything if I didn't mess
[6:03] with it. But I messed with it And then it
[6:04] turned into like just a large gape on my birthday.
[6:08] And I was just like, Dang, if I didn't touch it, if I didn't
[6:11] mess with it, it wouldn't have turned into this mess.
[6:14] And I feel like that is a metaphor for fucking life,
[6:17] honestly. Like I genuinely feel like it's
[6:19] a metaphor for life because you're like, oh, maybe I didn't
[6:22] have to keep like messing with it and touching it and
[6:25] interfering and controlling and getting in there and just
[6:28] creating more of a mess. Like, maybe I should have
[6:31] genuinely just trusted myself, my guides, my ancestors, God,
[6:36] the universe. Like, maybe I should just trust
[6:38] this higher, greater power. Because actually it's proven to
[6:42] me in the past that it has my fucking back.
[6:45] And actually, when I align myself and I center myself and I
[6:48] take my hands off the wheel, the drive is a little bit more
[6:51] smooth. So that is kind of what was
[6:54] coming up for me in this equanimity concept.
[6:56] It's like, OK, for me, it's not complete inaction, but maybe
[7:00] it's non interference of like what is supposed to be.
[7:03] And what I wrote in my journal that I really love and an
[7:06] affirmation that you can say to yourself is I trust whatever way
[7:11] this goes, I can hold my desires and I can hold the surrender
[7:16] simultaneously. I trust whichever way this goes,
[7:22] and I can hold my desires and my surrender simultaneously.
[7:27] I fucking love that. And we see it across cultures,
[7:29] this need to figure out how do we stay centered when our
[7:33] external life circumstances are creating chaos, when they're not
[7:39] making us happy, when we're experiencing grief or
[7:44] dysregulation or loss or instability or insecurity,
[7:50] Genuinely like, how do we do that?
[7:52] And I feel like across so many cultures, as well as in Western
[7:55] psychology, we really have been searching for those answers.
[7:58] And there are so many different ideologies.
[8:00] I won't even get into them today, but I'm just going to
[8:02] talk about my own experience. I feel like for me, I've
[8:05] experienced limitations in the past around needing life to go
[8:09] like the way that I wanted it to, right?
[8:11] I felt like in order for me to perceive goodness in the world,
[8:14] in order for me to feel like life is good enough, like I had
[8:20] to have things go my way, my expected way, my anticipated
[8:24] way. Do you see the way that I'm
[8:26] going here, right? The control.
[8:28] And in reality, it just made me more anxious, more miserable
[8:32] growing up. And that's really why when I
[8:34] fell in love with spirituality, I was like, wow, I can learn how
[8:38] to trust the flow and surrender and I can still maintain my
[8:41] fire. Like I don't have to be.
[8:43] It doesn't have to be either or. And what I've been realizing,
[8:45] I'm reading my notes because it is really important for me to
[8:47] communicate what I want to communicate.
[8:49] What I've been realizing is that it was always about my point of
[8:53] view. It was always about my mindset.
[8:55] It was always about my perspective.
[8:56] It was always about my perceived view of what is good, what is
[9:00] good enough, what is, what is bad, what doesn't make me happy,
[9:03] what makes me happy. My perceived view was affecting
[9:08] my inner world and therefore affecting my outer world.
[9:10] And then I noticed once I started shifting my inner world
[9:13] and I started actually trusting in the process, my outer
[9:19] experience actually softened. It got a little bit easier.
[9:23] Maybe an opportunity would come through.
[9:25] Maybe I would be reminded of how much the universe or God has my
[9:29] back. Like I just feel like once I
[9:32] shifted my inner world, my outer world always shifted.
[9:34] And I noticed that I took it as data and now it's completely
[9:38] affected the way that I live my life and embody my life.
[9:41] And for me, I really love not seeing them as one or the other.
[9:46] I have to be in complete desire and action or I have to be in
[9:50] complete surrender and flow. I really see the best case
[9:54] scenario as the balance of them both.
[9:57] And actually for me, knowing what I want, knowing my desires,
[10:00] that is part of the equanimity and part of the trust.
[10:03] Because I actually trust that the dreams that I desire and the
[10:06] things that I want were planted in my heart for a reason.
[10:08] So if I keep just placing 1 foot in front of the other and
[10:12] continuing to move with the flow of the river, like I know those
[10:16] dreams are going to come true because literally they chose me.
[10:20] And I feel like you have to remember that your dreams
[10:22] fucking chose you. You wouldn't have that desire to
[10:25] start that fashion brand or start photography or start that
[10:29] podcast if it wasn't meant for you.
[10:32] In some sense. We all have our gifts and
[10:33] desires and what we are pulled to I genuinely believe has bread
[10:38] crumbs towards like our purpose and what we're meant to do
[10:41] because we feel it in our fucking gut, in our fucking
[10:44] soul. So what do I do personally when
[10:45] I feel like life is eating me alive and things are out of my
[10:50] control and shit fucking happens or shit hits the fan.
[10:55] The number one thing I don't do is try to control my emotions
[10:58] and and judge and criticize how I'm feeling.
[11:03] Because the truth is like our emotions are always information.
[11:07] They're not always like the pinnacle of truth, right?
[11:11] Because we have our perceived experience that's influenced
[11:15] from our past experiences. Even though truth might look
[11:18] different, our emotions are always information and data for
[11:23] us to learn more about ourselves and our needs and our wants and
[11:27] how we can nourish ourselves so then we can show up in the world
[11:30] better and show up for our purpose better.
[11:32] You genuinely have to feel to heal it.
[11:35] I know it's so silly and cliche and you probably heard it from
[11:37] everyone, or at least I have from my therapist like a million
[11:40] times growing up. And it is true, you have to feel
[11:43] it to heal it. And if you try to push and
[11:45] suppress the emotions, they're not going to go away.
[11:47] They're just going to manifest as mental, emotional or physical
[11:52] symptoms or ailments in the body.
[11:54] So you really want to genuinely feel your feelings and give
[11:58] yourself time process like recently, like just I've been
[12:02] going on walks and you know, I'll be busy with work, you
[12:05] know, not really feeling my grief, feeling what's going on.
[12:08] And then all of a sudden I'm going on a walk and I'm fucking
[12:11] sobbing my eyes out, right? And I'm allowing myself that
[12:14] space and time to meet those parts of myself.
[12:17] I don't push them away. I actually acknowledge them.
[12:20] And for me, that actually creates more centeredness within
[12:23] me. I don't have to go on an
[12:25] emotional roller coaster for weeks anymore like I used to
[12:29] before my spiritual journey when I was in emotional
[12:31] dysregulation. But for me personally, I need to
[12:35] give my feelings the mic space and time.
[12:40] And in that I can then feel more clear headed, more level headed,
[12:45] more centered, more grounded. Because the truth is I am
[12:49] emotional. I've always been emotional.
[12:50] I've always been passionate. I've always felt things very
[12:52] intensely and very deeply. And I'm not going to try to push
[12:55] those things away because those things make me me.
[12:58] And I'm actually so fucking grateful to feel things deeply
[13:01] because I feel like it influences my art and it
[13:03] influences my relationships and my friendships.
[13:06] And I'm just, I just feel like if you are an emotional
[13:10] passionate, just just more, I don't know, just like centric
[13:15] being like you have to give yourself space.
[13:18] Like if you're angry, like literally stomp your fucking
[13:21] feet, put on a song, scream at the top of your lungs.
[13:24] Like give yourself the space that you need.
[13:27] And not everybody is going to need that.
[13:29] Some people need more peace, more quiet, more time to
[13:31] process. But I need expression.
[13:34] And you may be like me. So that's why I'm sharing my
[13:37] experience because I'm like, OK, I hope this helps somebody out
[13:39] there who relates to me in some way.
[13:41] That's the first thing that I do when life is crazy when I'm
[13:44] trying to pull back to my center is actually be like, what
[13:47] feelings am I trying to ignore? And how can I give them space
[13:51] and how can I feel them? So then I can come back to my
[13:53] center and be a more aligned and a more grounded version of
[13:56] myself. OK.
[13:57] And the other thing that I definitely do is I take care of
[13:59] my basic needs, right? My routine, my movement, my
[14:04] exercise, my working out, eating in the morning, not forgetting
[14:07] to eat with my little ADHD brain that I sometimes forget to eat
[14:10] till 2:00 PM. Like that just totally can send
[14:13] me off centered. And for me, I think taking care
[14:16] of my nutrition and my movement and my body and my basic needs
[14:20] in my sleep, that is one of the greatest healers in bringing
[14:24] yourself back to centeredness and back to equanimity is
[14:26] literally taking care of the physical body and seeing it how
[14:30] it affects your mental health. It literally effects everything,
[14:34] especially if you have ADHD or neurodivergency, like we
[14:37] underestimate. Like for me, like how much my
[14:40] blood sugar effects my mental health or yeah, my movement
[14:43] practice if I don't move my body for a couple days, like I just
[14:46] feel so not myself. So for me, that would be #2 is
[14:49] literally taking care of the physical body and nourishing
[14:53] your current 3D physical body needs.
[14:56] Let's get into the four things that I do to practice
[14:59] equanimity. Why?
[15:01] Because you know what? Getting frustrated and being
[15:04] like all over the place and spiraling out of control.
[15:07] I've been there. I've been that version of
[15:09] myself, and it only spikes my cortisol and blocks my
[15:12] blessings. And you need to realize that
[15:15] centeredness and groundedness actually expands you.
[15:18] By rooting down, by grounding, you actually expand outwards and
[15:24] attract more fucking abundance. OK, number one, wherever you go,
[15:29] there you are. I thought this was the most
[15:30] cliche quote ever, guys. Like, I, I had no meaning to it.
[15:35] I did not think it meant very much until literally turning 27,
[15:39] feeling like, Oh my gosh, like wherever I go there I am.
[15:44] Like, I'm actually getting older and growing up so much.
[15:47] But in that the only way for me to have true centeredness and
[15:51] regulation and groundedness is by having a healthy relationship
[15:55] with the capital S self. Like literally being like my own
[15:59] friend who has the ability to meet my own needs, who loves
[16:02] hanging out with myself, who takes care of myself.
[16:04] Like who has my back. It has to be me who has your
[16:07] back. It has to be you.
[16:09] It's important to lean on your community and to have Co
[16:13] regulation, but you have to find the centeredness and
[16:16] groundedness within yourself. And I think it comes from
[16:18] genuinely having a relationship with yourself that is very
[16:21] strong where you're like, wherever I go, there I am.
[16:23] So I might as well fucking like myself #2 the way that I create
[16:26] more equanimity and more groundedness and centeredness in
[16:29] my life is by balancing. And we kind of already talked
[16:33] about this, but balancing the flow and the go, the surrender
[16:38] and the action, the flow and the go.
[16:40] How can you actually find this balance?
[16:42] And I was thinking about this visual of river Rapids, OK?
[16:46] And if you're coming down these crazy river Rapids of Life, OK,
[16:50] And you are a noodle, you're literally to go with the flow.
[16:55] You're literally a noodle. You're gonna get thrown around
[16:57] by the river Rapids and you're gonna draft honestly, because if
[17:03] you're too much in the flow, then the go is gonna kinda just
[17:06] eat you up, right? But if you're going in a river
[17:09] Rapids, down a bow, right, this vessel that you take care of the
[17:13] stability, the center right, you're in an actual boat.
[17:17] You're going to be able to go down the river Rapids.
[17:18] And even if it gets crazy, you know you're going to make it out
[17:21] on the other side. So you have to have this balance
[17:23] of not just being so flowy, you also have to have the go, the
[17:27] structure, the centerness, the routine.
[17:29] And in that you create a boat. You create a vessel for you to
[17:32] flow down and surrender to whatever does come in life
[17:36] because shit is going to happen. And bad shit happens
[17:38] unexpectedly literally all the time.
[17:40] I mean, yeah. So it's so important for us to
[17:44] have the grounding and centerness we need.
[17:47] So when that happens, we're not spiraling out of control.
[17:49] We can find our center and our grounding, and we know that we
[17:52] have our own back. So find the balance between flow
[17:55] and go surrender in action. The third thing that I wanted to
[17:58] share with you as a tangible tip is rooting.
[18:01] OK, this can be visual or can be somatic.
[18:04] This can be through meditation or can be through movement.
[18:07] But it is so incredibly important because so many of us
[18:09] spend way too much time in here in our minds and not in our
[18:13] bodies. And when we're in our minds,
[18:15] that's when it can feel like a tornado.
[18:17] But when we're in our body, we actually have the groundedness
[18:22] and the connection to our mind, body, soul and spirit to just be
[18:28] more rooted. It is so important for us to
[18:30] actually be in our body because then when things are happening
[18:35] in life, like at least at least we feel actually within our
[18:40] physical body. Because I think when we're
[18:42] dealing with trauma, we can go into the mind and try to escape.
[18:47] So the more that we can get into the body, the more that we are
[18:49] actually like, OK, I'm safe and our system therefore feels more
[18:53] safe. So a couple ways that I
[18:55] personally wrote is 1. Visually, I love to literally
[18:58] imagine that there's golden roots growing out a like ball of
[19:03] white light at the bottom and base of my spine.
[19:05] And it's like growing into the center of the earth, like the
[19:08] tree of life extending. And then sometimes I like to
[19:12] take some breaths, reciprocal breasts with the earth, like
[19:16] imagining me blowing out everything and letting it
[19:19] transmute and alchemize and then inhaling and inhaling the
[19:24] goodness and light and energy of Mother Earth.
[19:27] So that is something that I like to do or something that my
[19:30] psychic medium taught me is like golden rings.
[19:33] So we ground ourselves visually, we put golden rings around us
[19:36] visually, we breathe in, we expand it.
[19:39] So I want you to use your intuition.
[19:40] I don't want you. You can use these, of course, go
[19:43] for it. But your inner wisdom actually
[19:45] knows how to root you down. So maybe just close your eyes,
[19:49] take a couple breaths and see what visual feels just most in
[19:53] alignment and natural to you. Because I genuinely think that
[19:56] is the best way to go. I think for me, even though
[19:58] people taught me things along the way.
[20:00] It was always just whatever felt best to my body and my system
[20:03] and what I felt actually worked. But I loved a visual grounded
[20:06] moment. And then also physically and
[20:09] movement wise, right? Like literally going to the gym,
[20:11] going to a dance class for me, like that totally gets me
[20:13] physically in my body and out of my mind because I'm doing
[20:17] something physical, but then also moving my body and
[20:20] nourishing my body. Literally sometimes if I like
[20:22] take a bite of food, like it immediately grounds me into my
[20:24] body. So there's a bunch of different
[20:26] ways to ground yourself, but I want you to focus on rooting #3
[20:31] and #4 finally, I've noticed that when I channel the fire,
[20:35] happy Aries season, by the way, from your favorite Aries, I'm
[20:39] kind of on the cusp Pisces Aries and then Scorpio rising Gemini
[20:43] moon. But I want you to channel the
[20:46] fire because, for example, I've noticed for me, I can actually
[20:50] drop into meditation so much more if I move my body first.
[20:53] That's why I love like kundalini meditation where you're like
[20:56] shaking and moving and dancing and breathing and then you're
[20:59] sitting and then you're laying down.
[21:01] I really love that because for me, that allows me to drop in
[21:04] after I've gotten all the fire out.
[21:05] Or for me, I feel like I can focus on my work.
[21:07] If I like go out and go to the gym and jump in the water in the
[21:10] morning, I can be more centered and more grounded when I
[21:12] actually move the fire out of me and channel the fire.
[21:14] So #4 is channeling the fire. Couple ways to do that.
[21:18] Through creation, through movement, through nurturing your
[21:22] inner fire. Being like I am so hot.
[21:26] Like literally being like I, I love myself like that is like
[21:29] literally channeling your inner fire into not pushing everything
[21:34] externally, but channeling it back into you.
[21:36] But also just like movement. I love pole dance, I love dance
[21:39] class. I love singing.
[21:42] I love singing out loud in the car.
[21:45] I love just like dancing around my room in the morning.
[21:49] Like I love creating for my business or my podcast.
[21:52] Like all of these things are ways that I personally channel
[21:56] my fire. So comment ways that you channel
[21:58] your fire below. Oh, I said channeling your fire
[22:01] is also knowing what you want and knowing who you are.
[22:03] Because when you know those things, that makes you a good
[22:06] anchor for you. You want to be an anchor.
[22:10] You want to be a root for yourself because life's going to
[22:14] happen. So this is how we do it.
[22:16] And this is the art of equanimity, OK?
[22:18] Remember 1 Wherever you go, there you are.
[22:20] Have your own fucking back #2 balancing the flow and the go #3
[22:24] the rooting visual or physical, and for channeling the fire
[22:26] through creation, movement or pouring it back into yourself.
[22:31] OK, I love you guys. Copy this link.
[22:32] Send it to somebody that you love.
[22:35] OK? I think that's it.
[22:36] This is the art of equanimity. This was a really fun episode.
[22:39] I feel like it took a different turn than I thought it was going
[22:41] to, but whatever needed to come through came through.
[22:44] You're inherently fucking worthy.
[22:45] And we'll see you guys next week.
[22:48] Hi.

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