# Manifestation Made Easy?! A UNIQUE Way To Curate Your Dream Life + Feel Magnetic

An episode of [Skinny Dipping](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1550086447), 16 Sep 2025, 50 min.

Audio: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/anchor.fm/s/feb3cd0c/podcast/play/108358383/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2025-8-17%2F1e9b4246-8446-55df-1f99-7b21abfd690d.mp3

try activations for free here: www.activations.com/kela + (an insane discount so you can step into your future self frequency) Say it with me: I'm learning to love myself now to propel me to where I'm meant to go- in this episode Mimi Bouchard founder of Activations breaks it down into the 2 step process, and we learn how we can close the gap between our life now and our dream life. Find Mimi on instagram and check out her book! https://www.instagram.com/mimibouchard/?hl=en

## Transcript

[0:00] I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am over being
[0:05] disciplined. I said what I said.
[0:07] You can quote me on that. And instead I choose to be
[0:12] devoted because that feels so much better on my body
[0:15] personally. What is up guys?
[0:22] I missed you so incredibly much skinny dipping listeners, if
[0:26] you're listening on Spotify or if you're listening on Apple
[0:29] Podcasts or another audio listening platform, or if you're
[0:33] watching the first episode in a very long time on YouTube,
[0:37] welcome. This is the episode where we
[0:39] talk about the art of devotion. And this is the episode not to
[0:43] miss, I promise, because this concept I've posted about
[0:46] multiple times in short form on TikTok, on Instagram, and
[0:50] without fail, every single time it goes viral.
[0:53] Listen to the birds. They're like, yes, Queen, we
[0:57] understand. And I feel like there's a reason
[0:58] something become so popular because so many people relate to
[1:04] the feeling of being conditioned and programmed within society to
[1:08] be disciplined and push hard and go, go, go and fill your
[1:11] schedule. And we're programmed to be
[1:13] constantly in the pursuit of success and accolades and
[1:20] anything that will allow us to prove our worth to our family,
[1:25] to the school system, the education system, to our career,
[1:29] the the job field that we're in, to society.
[1:32] And most importantly, we're chasing after all the things to
[1:36] prove to ourselves that we are good enough, to prove to
[1:39] ourselves that we are actually making something of the life
[1:43] that we are creating. And I've thought about this
[1:45] concept for like 5 years because trust me, I was deep in the
[1:50] cycle of the toxic masculinity, the push, push, push, the go go
[1:54] go and constantly doing and needing to achieve and be more
[1:59] and do more. And yet it never felt like
[2:01] enough. And that's why when I discovered
[2:04] the mindset shift from discipline to devotion, my life
[2:08] completely changed. It literally altered my entire
[2:12] life by just changing my relationship to how I do things.
[2:16] Instead of being disciplined and coming from this place of not
[2:19] enoughness, I transferred to devotion.
[2:21] And this place of I'm doing this because I fucking love myself.
[2:26] I'm doing this because I know this is good for me.
[2:29] And what I know from personal experience, which we'll get into
[2:32] soon, is that discipline drove the bus for a certain amount of
[2:39] time, and then all of a sudden it didn't work anymore because I
[2:43] was being so hard on myself. That my own mind, and this is
[2:47] proven in science, that your own mind can see you as a threat.
[2:51] My own personal amygdala thought that my mind was the threat, so
[2:56] much so that it would create this fear and resistance, and
[2:59] that would show up as energetic blockages in my life.
[3:02] It would show up as, you know, I really want to do this thing.
[3:05] I really want to pursue this dream and I can't, I can't I, I
[3:08] want to so badly. I want to take the action.
[3:10] But there's just something standing in the way between me
[3:14] and actually doing the thing. And it was because I saw myself
[3:19] as a threat, because I was living from this place of forced
[3:22] discipline and control over my life rather than shifting to
[3:27] devotion. So if you guys are new here, hi,
[3:30] I'm Kayla Rose, I'm the host of Skinny Dipping the podcast.
[3:33] We have over 200,000 subscribers across platforms, but we're new
[3:37] to YouTube so make sure to hit that subscribe button if you are
[3:41] loving the video, loving the vibes.
[3:43] I got these beautiful dahlias from the farmers market and I
[3:45] thought they would just be like the vibe for the video.
[3:48] Also, we have a storm coming in and I recorded this episode
[3:52] before, but you know, it just didn't really work out.
[3:56] It's a long story and I really was faced and confronted with my
[4:00] own perfectionism and I'm genuinely happy I'm rerecording
[4:04] because today I feel more grounded.
[4:05] It feels more like I'm living in alignment with this message of
[4:08] devotion that says let's get into it.
[4:11] What is the difference? The difference between
[4:13] discipline and devotion? For me, discipline means I'm
[4:16] doing this because I need to prove that I'm good enough.
[4:19] I'm doing this from a place of self hatred, the self concept,
[4:24] the self-image that I possess of myself.
[4:27] I'm moving from this place of I'm not enough.
[4:29] I'm not good enough. I need to do this thing.
[4:32] I should do this thing so that I can prove to myself that what
[4:36] I'm doing is enough and I can finally, quote UN quote, feel
[4:38] good about myself. Fuck that devotion is showing up
[4:46] because you're like, I fucking love myself and I know that
[4:50] doing these habits that's going to make my body feel good.
[4:54] That's what it looks like to take care of me.
[4:57] This dream that I have, pursuing it and building my confidence is
[5:01] going to show myself through action that I love myself.
[5:05] And moving from that place of self love versus self hatred is
[5:09] really that difference in the mindset between discipline and
[5:12] devotion. In this episode, we're going to
[5:14] talk about the real world experiences and how you can
[5:17] actually shift your inner dialogue to come from this place
[5:20] of self compassion because everybody talks about about it,
[5:23] but it's like, how do you actually do it?
[5:24] So I want to bring up real world examples that you might face
[5:27] with this mindset of discipline and devotion.
[5:29] And then we're going to get to what this doesn't look like in
[5:32] practice and what it does look like in practice.
[5:34] OK, this is skinny dipping. So you know what we're going to
[5:36] do here. We're going to strip down and
[5:39] we're going to dive in. Just to give you a little
[5:42] background story on my story. I grew up equating my worth to
[5:48] productivity through how I was raised through the school
[5:52] system, through seeing getting into college as this end all be
[5:56] all at a college preparatory school and just really seeing
[6:01] myself from everything that I did and everything that I
[6:04] accomplished. And I was really good at those
[6:07] things. I was really good at all my
[6:09] extracurriculars. I was really good at school and
[6:13] grades. And the truth is that by
[6:16] equating my worth to my my productivity, I was just setting
[6:19] myself up for failure down the line.
[6:22] Because when I stepped out of those systems, I didn't really
[6:25] know how to feel good about myself.
[6:27] I didn't know who I was. And I also knew that the way
[6:30] that I was operating was causing me so much stress and so much
[6:34] anxiety. And that anxiety would transform
[6:36] into anger and frustration in hyper arousal where I would get
[6:41] really just overwhelmed and crazy and frustrated.
[6:44] Or hypo arousal where if you know anything about the window
[6:47] of tolerance, when you can handle versus hyper arousal, you
[6:51] go up and you can't handle or you go low and you shut down.
[6:54] Which also I noticed in my early 20s, I was leaning towards hypo
[6:58] arousal and really shutting down in these moments because I was
[7:02] putting so much weight on my shoulders to be perfect and to
[7:06] prove myself and to be productive and to do great
[7:09] things with my life. And the truth is, I still want
[7:12] to do all those things. And by changing my mindset and
[7:16] by changing the way that I approach those activities, I
[7:21] actually freed myself. And in the process, I get to
[7:24] create what I want to create in life.
[7:25] I get to create the dream life that I want to create and be
[7:28] devoted to my podcast, to my socials, to my community, to the
[7:31] retreats. By the way, there's like 3 more
[7:33] spots for Bali if you want that, but I digress.
[7:36] Instead, I get to build all those things and I get to love
[7:39] myself in the process and I get to move from this place of self
[7:42] compassion and self understanding.
[7:45] But I think really where we find ourselves diving into this
[7:49] productivity equals worth mindset at a young age is with
[7:53] the OverDrive of the toxic masculine in society.
[7:57] And I don't mean guys and girls masculine, feminine.
[8:00] No, I mean masculine in the healthiest form is structure.
[8:05] It is devotion. It is showing up consistently.
[8:09] It is that steady pace, but in its toxic side, when the
[8:15] masculine is left unchecked and it becomes a toxic masculinity,
[8:20] it results in pushing and doing and forcing and controlling and
[8:27] we just, we just, we just don't want that anymore.
[8:30] The world is changing. We're changing.
[8:32] The way that our parents grew up and our grandparents grew up is
[8:35] not the way that we want to create our society.
[8:37] Because I don't know about you guys, but I personally want to
[8:41] make money doing what I love, but also have so much time for
[8:44] all the other habits and hobbies in my life.
[8:47] I want to have time for art and creativity and my family and my
[8:50] friends and joy and play. And that requires not working
[8:54] 24/7 and pushing myself into the ground resulting and of course
[9:00] burnout, which we all know very well.
[9:03] If the high achiever ADHD girlies are listening to this,
[9:07] you know, you know that we know that so well and it is so
[9:12] fucking exhausting. When I stepped into the feminine
[9:14] a couple years ago, I resented and any part of the masculine,
[9:18] even its healthy parts that support the feminine.
[9:20] I imagine the masculine when it's healthy, as the rocks of a
[9:24] river. OK, And then the feminine is the
[9:26] water that flows through. But the flow of the water cannot
[9:30] be guided without those rocks. And that's how I see the
[9:32] masculine and feminine and the yin and Yang energies within my
[9:36] own body and within my own mind. This podcast is sponsored by
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[10:47] And it's all going to be linked. And I went all the way to the
[10:49] other end of the feminine and I dove into the toxic feminine
[10:53] where I made excuses for myself. I was being avoidant, I, I was
[10:59] lacking structure that would in fact support me for my dreams
[11:04] and my joy and what I do want to create.
[11:06] And I went all the way to the other end because of my
[11:08] resentment towards the masculine.
[11:10] And then I realized in the beginning of this year that I
[11:14] just deeply missed structure. So I needed to find a new way of
[11:18] approaching it because I was so afraid of going back to the way
[11:22] that I was, because I know that I can be hard on myself.
[11:24] I know I can be a perfectionist. So that's where I discovered
[11:28] devotion. I realized I still can have that
[11:31] structure, that masculinity that supports me, that supports my
[11:35] dreams, that supports the feminine flow and the feminine
[11:38] creativity and the feminine dance of life.
[11:42] I realized that I could have her and I could also have structure.
[11:46] And in fact, the structure supports all of that.
[11:48] And that's when I realized I needed to learn how to move from
[11:51] this place of devotion so I would no longer avoid the
[11:54] structure that my soul craved and that my life honestly
[11:58] demanded. Because of the dreams that I
[12:00] want to create, though, in order to heal that resentment, I
[12:04] adopted devotion. And we're going to get into what
[12:06] that looks like in practice and the actionable steps.
[12:10] But I just first want to talk about the brain.
[12:12] And so something I learned very early in therapy with my past
[12:17] therapist was that the brain moves in two ways when
[12:20] calculating which action to take.
[12:22] It works where it's moving away from pain, which is I'm going to
[12:28] do this because I'm scared of that.
[12:29] I'm scared of that. So I'm going to avoid the pain
[12:31] and I'm going to do this instead.
[12:33] And it chooses that action or it moves towards pleasure.
[12:38] It moves towards this is what I want to create.
[12:40] This is what I want for my life. And more often than not, what
[12:44] I've discovered is that a lot of people move from this place of
[12:47] fear, this place of resistance, this place of avoiding pain.
[12:53] And I think it just keeps us small and it keeps us caged and
[12:58] to move towards pleasure, to move towards what you want and
[13:02] desire in life that is a life actually worth living.
[13:06] So I notice, am I making this choice because I'm avoiding
[13:10] something because of the pain that I'm trying to avoid?
[13:12] Or am I making this choice because of the life that I want
[13:15] to create? And I think that's the
[13:16] difference between discipline, the proving so you can prove
[13:20] that you are not XYZ versus devotion is I love myself.
[13:25] I'm going to do this because I know I deserve it.
[13:27] I love myself. I know that I am deserving of
[13:30] showing up for my habits. So I'm going to do that.
[13:32] And that place really lessens the resistance and allows us to
[13:36] actually take steps on the path that we want to create.
[13:39] So how does this look like in real life circumstances?
[13:43] The first thing that came to mind for me, OK, was my
[13:48] relationship with my body and my relationship with exercise,
[13:51] because I think that has drastically transformed.
[13:54] I was really intense into working out and eating healthy
[13:58] when I was like 19 and I was a bar teacher and I love that
[14:02] version of myself. We're not faulting her.
[14:04] I had to be her to be me now. And at the same time, my body
[14:08] was really inflamed and tight and stressed and anxious.
[14:12] And I feel like now I really do stay devoted to my practice and
[14:19] my exercise because I know that it makes me feel good and I know
[14:23] it's good for my mental health above all, beyond what I
[14:26] visually look like. And I really think it was this
[14:30] mindset shift from discipline to devotion that allowed me to stay
[14:35] consistent and stay devoted and continue to show up without
[14:38] falling back into old habits or without avoiding working out
[14:41] altogether. Because I feel like that's what
[14:43] I did. I swung from one pendulum to the
[14:45] other and I was like, stopped working out.
[14:46] And I was like, wait, now my mental health is really at fault
[14:49] here because I was just trying to go with the flow.
[14:51] So this is what I realized. I'm going to pull out my journal
[14:55] and read it direct. So my relationship to exercise
[14:59] from a place of discipline sounds like I have to go to the
[15:03] gym every single day and I have to make up for the food that I
[15:06] ate so I can like my body more, so I can feel better about
[15:10] myself. I'm just going to take a deep
[15:14] breath and clear that one out if you want to with me.
[15:20] And then we have devotion which I love so much more, which says
[15:26] I know moving my body really helps my mental health and it
[15:29] makes me feel so proud of myself and it makes me feel energized.
[15:33] So what should I do today? Should I gym, should I Pilates,
[15:36] should I dance? What sounds fun to me today?
[15:40] And can I still be accountable and show up?
[15:42] Did you see that difference between forcing and giving
[15:45] yourself no choice to creating choice, creating space, and
[15:51] allowing yourself to really want to do something because you know
[15:55] it's good for you. Because you love yourself, Not
[15:58] because you're lacking anything. Because you are already perfect
[16:01] the way you are and you deserve to show up for yourself.
[16:04] You deserve to take care of yourself.
[16:07] That is the fucking difference between discipline and devotion
[16:10] right there. And then we see it with our
[16:12] career, right? In my career and in my business
[16:15] and with money in the past, I was like, I have to grind.
[16:18] I have to make money from this place of lack, from this place
[16:21] of oh, I need to do really good and be really successful.
[16:25] So this person can, you know, see that I proved them wrong.
[16:31] Sorry, I just have to laugh about that for a second because
[16:33] I'm just not always that person anymore.
[16:35] Not saying I can't fall back into those patterns, but like
[16:38] 10% versus 90%, like the difference is just so huge
[16:42] because devotion for me in that moment says I am capable of
[16:49] handling the pressure that comes with my purpose, that comes with
[16:52] my calling. And if it's my calling, it'll
[16:55] keep calling. If it keeps calling, it'll keep
[16:58] calling. So I might as well fucking pick
[16:59] up the phone because there is something here for me.
[17:02] This dream was planted in my heart for a reason.
[17:05] This idea, this business idea was planted in my heart for a
[17:08] reason. And I'm going to respect myself
[17:11] and respect this idea enough to move forward.
[17:14] Boom, that's devotion. Do you hear the Roosters in the
[17:17] back being like, yes, diva? And then I saw it in my
[17:23] relationship with self improvement and my relationship
[17:25] with healing, right? I was like, OK, I, I need to be
[17:29] fixed. I need to be healed.
[17:31] I need to do the breath work and the meditation and the movement
[17:34] and all these things. And it really ruined a lot of
[17:37] self improvement and healing for me because I was so fucking hard
[17:39] on myself. And instead now I realize
[17:42] slowness heals, and now I realize that taking my time with
[17:47] healing is everything, and whatever is supposed to be
[17:50] healed in that moment will come up.
[17:52] I don't have to force. I don't have to go out and chase
[17:54] it. The truth is, the universe and
[17:56] God and Source will literally present me with opportunities to
[18:00] heal whenever it is the divine time.
[18:02] And I don't have to put pressure on it to be perfect, to learn
[18:06] all the things, to read all the books.
[18:08] Because healing isn't making myself fixed or changed or
[18:13] anything that I'm not, It's just remembering exactly who I am.
[18:16] Boom. That's devotion.
[18:17] So maybe today I should do breath work.
[18:19] Because I know that connects me to myself, removes the
[18:22] resistance and welcomes in choice.
[18:25] So what does this look like in practice?
[18:27] Like a little checklist. OK, no, but actually let's talk
[18:30] about what it doesn't look like first.
[18:31] So what it doesn't look like is on one end forcing, right?
[18:35] We don't want to be in that toxic masculine forcing.
[18:37] Just being like, I need this and like making this one thing mean
[18:43] everything about how you feel about yourself.
[18:45] No, we're canceling that. That's fucking thrown out the
[18:47] door. The second thing that this is
[18:49] not on the other end is avoiding what you need.
[18:52] Because I think sometimes people can be so easy on themselves
[18:56] after being hard on themselves that they completely avoid what
[18:59] they need. And it just ends up in us
[19:02] spiraling and not feeling good about ourselves, not because
[19:04] we're not productive, but because we're not taking care of
[19:07] ourselves in the way that we need in a way that truly
[19:11] supports us. So it also doesn't look like a
[19:14] complete avoidance and avoiding what you need and just letting
[19:17] yourself off the hook. What it does look like is
[19:20] accountability and compassion. And you're walking this little
[19:23] tightrope, you're walking this balance beam and you're being
[19:26] accountable and you're giving yourself compassion at the same
[19:29] time and constantly operating from both places because you
[19:31] have the capability to be nuanced.
[19:33] You have the ability to walk this path of accountability and
[19:37] self compassion. And for me, that really looks
[19:40] like inner dialogue and noticing the way that I speak to myself.
[19:45] If I'm being really hard on myself, I just start talking out
[19:47] loud and reasoning with myself and being like, hey, I know
[19:51] that, you know, you really want to make this podcast perfect and
[19:53] now the rain's coming in. But the truth is like, we're
[19:57] doing the best that we can. And you should be so proud of
[19:59] yourself for everything you've created.
[20:01] You should be so proud of yourself for showing up today.
[20:03] And let's cut it short and let's keep going.
[20:06] Like you got this girl because the rain is coming in and my
[20:09] perfectionism is like, but it's like, no, that inner dialogue
[20:15] talk is everything. Soothing yourself through the
[20:17] way that you speak to yourself and speaking kindly and speaking
[20:20] compassionately is everything. The second thing that it is, is
[20:24] creating space for choice. So if you noticed in my example
[20:27] around exercise, I was like, what sounds fun?
[20:30] Should we dance? Should we Pilates?
[20:31] Should we gym? What sounds good?
[20:33] Creating space for choice allows your brain to remember that you
[20:37] are not a warden, You are not a, you know, direct threat.
[20:42] You are a friend who offers choice, who offers compassion.
[20:47] So creating choice for yourself when you're staying accountable
[20:50] is everything. I feel like with ADHD, don't
[20:52] want to do the same thing every day, but I still need to do
[20:55] certain habits that make me feel good.
[20:57] So what do I do? I create choice.
[21:00] And then I actually want to do those things because I feel like
[21:03] I have a say and my inner child doesn't want to, you know, get
[21:07] mad and throw a tantrum because I feel like I have a say.
[21:10] I feel like I'm heard. And that's really all our inner
[21:14] child wants when it's creating that resistance is to feel like
[21:17] she has choice. The third thing is moving
[21:21] towards pleasure instead of pain.
[21:23] We talked about that. And the last thing is reminding
[21:28] yourself that getting things done from a place of devotion
[21:31] actually helps support healthy dopamine in your brain, right?
[21:34] I want to do a whole episode on dopamine because I'm so
[21:36] interested in it. But it really is that reward
[21:39] chemical. You do something, you're proud
[21:41] of yourself, you feel that dopamine, and you want to do it
[21:43] again. And what I realized is by
[21:46] getting things done and coming from a place of devotion, it
[21:49] really does support healthy dopamine for me.
[21:51] And when I went all the way to 1 end and didn't want to do
[21:53] anything and didn't want to stay accountable at all and I wanted
[21:56] to avoid, I think it really messed with my dopamine and
[22:00] actually in my brain because I wasn't getting that reward
[22:04] chemical that my brain really needed.
[22:06] So dopamine is actually really good for your last like 2
[22:09] actionable steps that I want you to do this week to just
[22:12] integrate this into practice is 1.
[22:15] I want you to have a conscious self meeting.
[22:18] This is where you kind of just check in with yourself.
[22:20] You see what's working, what's not working, what are your
[22:22] current values, Are your actions aligning to your current values?
[22:26] And really just doing a conscious self meeting where
[22:28] you're checking in and saying, am I moving from a place of pain
[22:32] and fear or pleasure and joy? Am I moving away?
[22:35] Am I moving towards, am I moving from discipline?
[22:38] Am I moving from devotion? And just noticing, just noticing
[22:42] can begin to train and reprogram your brain so that you can begin
[22:46] to move from this place of devotion instead of disciplined.
[22:49] And this is the art of devotion because it's an art, it's a
[22:52] dance. It's not, oh, I'm going to tell
[22:53] you this one thing and it's going to be solved.
[22:55] No, this is a constant practice of showing up for yourself, of
[22:58] reprogramming your mind. And it is the art of devotion
[23:02] because it is an art, it is a dance, and it's your personal
[23:06] experience. So create it the way that you
[23:08] want. Also, whiteboards #2 if you
[23:11] don't have a whiteboard, whiteboards help me because it
[23:13] allows me to check things off my list while still staying
[23:16] flexible in my schedule and balance that masculine and
[23:19] feminine. So if you love this episode,
[23:22] this rain is starting to come down on us right now.
[23:24] But if you loved this episode, send it to a friend or just copy
[23:28] paste the link, share it on Instagram, tag us where you're
[23:30] listening. You guys know it literally means
[23:32] the world to me when you do this.
[23:35] Like it just makes my day when I see you guys tagging at Sunday's
[23:38] KK, my Personal or at Skinny Dipping Diaries.
[23:42] And yeah, I'm so grateful. I'm happy to be on YouTube.
[23:44] Hopefully we have some new listeners on here 'cause the art
[23:48] of devotion is something that's completely changed and altered
[23:50] my life and I'm just so grateful to share this with you guys.
[23:53] And yeah, also join the Soul and Progress community.
[23:56] If you want breath work and EFT tapping and meditations on all
[23:59] those things, it'll be linked below.
[24:01] And also, if you want to come to Bali with us in November,
[24:03] there's a couple spots left and just send me a little DM and I
[24:06] can send you the official invite.
[24:08] I love you so much. OK, I'm going to get my
[24:09] equipment out of the rain. I love you, I love you.
[24:12] Skinny dipping listeners. Let me know how this goes.
[24:14] Applying this and bye.

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