# Skinny Dipping 002 || sometimes your carefree part needs to save you from yourself and your own spiraling perfectionism

An episode of [Skinny Dipping](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1550086447), 1 Jul 2025, 30 min.

Audio: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/anchor.fm/s/feb3cd0c/podcast/play/104866182/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2025-6-1%2F403098972-44100-2-1ac9dd922e748.mp3

Have you ever felt like your own perfectionism was ruining your life? and youre wondering how to save yourself from yourself? same. lets talk about it Community & all links https://hoo.be/sundazedkk Dipsea free trial (sponsor) Right now, listeners of this show can get an extended 30-day free trial! Just go to DipseaStories.com/skinnydipping to start your free trial.

## Transcript

[0:00] Sometimes there's a part of me that just wants to be carefree
[0:04] and have fun, and sometimes you need that part of yourself to
[0:09] fucking rescue you. I have this part of me that just
[0:12] wants to be carefree and have fun, and I've been realizing
[0:16] that sometimes you need that part of yourself to come and
[0:20] fucking rescue you from your own self, from your own misery.
[0:30] What is up, guys? I'm Kayla Rose, your host today,
[0:33] and this is Skinny Dipping, the podcast where we strip down and
[0:36] we dive in. I love to talk about the mind.
[0:38] I love to talk about the body. I love to talk about the soul.
[0:41] Of course, I love to blend spirituality and mental Health
[0:44] Sciences and just different modalities and yeah, ways of
[0:48] exploring your own internal landscape.
[0:51] I am so incredibly excited today because I've been thinking so
[0:55] hard about my responsible self. I've been doing IFS.
[0:59] If you listened to the episode last week, it's Internal Family
[1:03] systems. It's this form of therapy where
[1:05] you have yourself, which is like your soul, the part of yourself
[1:09] that is trusting that it's connected to your creativity
[1:11] source. That's connected to just this.
[1:14] Yeah, feeling of trust within you.
[1:16] It's this curious creative part. And then we have the managers,
[1:22] which are parts of ourselves that we've created to manage
[1:25] everything in our life. We have our firefighters, the
[1:28] parts of ourselves that we've developed and created in order
[1:30] to highly protect ourselves. And we have our exiles, the
[1:34] parts of ourselves that are more tender, more wounded, more, you
[1:38] know, in need of something, maybe some needs that just
[1:42] weren't met in childhood or in your teenage years or something
[1:46] like that. And we have these parts of
[1:47] ourselves that feel abandoned or lonely or overwhelmed or
[1:50] overstimulated or not enough. And I love IFS and Internal
[1:55] family systems in this therapy because it really shows you that
[1:58] there are no bad parts. There are only parts that are
[2:02] burdened, parts that are hurting you, parts that are no longer
[2:06] serving you in the same way that they used to in the way that
[2:08] they developed, and their parts that have the ability to still
[2:12] stay and keep their positive qualities.
[2:14] Keep the parts that are trying to protect you.
[2:16] The parts are trying to help you manage your life and plan things
[2:19] out. We want those parts.
[2:20] We need those parts, but we need to unburden them and we need
[2:23] them to be able to feel free so that we can feel free, so that
[2:28] our exiles can feel heard, so that our self can be in the
[2:31] driver's seat. Because what I love about
[2:33] internal family systems is this image that you can have all
[2:37] these other parts of yourself speaking upright.
[2:40] You can have this planner part, this perfectionist part coming
[2:44] saying we need to do this. And you can have your
[2:46] firefighter part being like, we're shutting it all down.
[2:49] Or you can have your exile part coming and be like, I need this.
[2:52] This is what I need right now. I feel abandoned.
[2:56] And you can have all these parts come in.
[2:57] But what we really need to know is that those parts are just all
[3:01] informants. They're not the person driving
[3:03] the bus. The self, the soul, the
[3:06] compassion, curious, connected self is in the driver's seat and
[3:11] we need to put that self in the driver's seat no matter what.
[3:14] And then it's informants, it's parts of ourselves, it's
[3:18] managers, firefighters, exiles, these other parts of ourselves.
[3:21] They're in the back of the bus, they're hanging out, they're
[3:22] letting us know what direction to go, they're informing our
[3:25] choices, but they're not controlling it and they're not
[3:30] driving the bus. They can't drive the bus.
[3:33] And sometimes it feels like when a part, for example, when you're
[3:38] ruminating, OK, you're ruminating on a part, you're
[3:42] ruminating feeling like I never feel good enough.
[3:45] I feel really alone, XYZ. What I love about IFS and
[3:49] internal family systems, it shows us that that's not all
[3:53] there is to you in that moment. But maybe that part is speaking
[3:56] up really loudly and getting all of your attention and all of
[3:59] your awareness and perception because it really needs the mic
[4:02] and it really needs something from you.
[4:04] And once you kind of listen to that part and unburn it and it
[4:08] in some way and make it feel seen and heard and acknowledged,
[4:12] and you can take action on what that part needs, You actually
[4:14] notice it doesn't need the mic as much.
[4:16] And you can have yourself take the mic again and lead and leave
[4:20] the party. Leave the crowd in ifs.
[4:22] They call it a parts party. So in this process of learning
[4:26] about IFS, I have been reflecting on my responsible
[4:29] self versus the carefree fairy in me because I feel like this
[4:33] is a common struggle that I have had my entire life.
[4:37] And I feel like it's really exacerbated right now.
[4:41] And I've just been noticing I have this responsible self that
[4:45] can be such a goddamn perfectionist and can just be so
[4:48] controlling and just can really ruin the vibe in the party.
[4:51] But I also need her. I need her to be responsible
[4:53] because that's how I accomplish my dreams.
[4:56] And you don't make money for the things that I want to do in life
[4:59] and the travels I want to see and you know, the family I want
[5:02] to have in the future. Like I need this responsible
[5:05] part. But I, I shun her away so much
[5:07] because I, it's like a parent, like I feel resentful.
[5:12] This responsible part has made me feel not good enough.
[5:14] Or this responsible part has made me feel like I'm not doing
[5:19] enough and I need to be productive to prove my worth.
[5:21] And because of that, I have this deep resentment for this
[5:23] responsible part to the point where I've spent years pushing
[5:27] her away. I've, I've spent years pushing
[5:29] away what I would call my masculine part, the structure
[5:33] part that comes in and wants to get things done.
[5:35] And that part is a part of me that I love.
[5:37] And actually this part makes me proud of myself.
[5:41] Sorry I'm saying part a lot, goddamn.
[5:43] But this is the way that I'm learning how to speak.
[5:45] And it feels so good to speak in this way because instead of
[5:48] being like I'm being irresponsible, I'm not trying
[5:51] hard enough. I feel blocked.
[5:53] I feel self sabotaged. No, instead it's like, oh, a
[5:56] part of me is showing up that is resisting and feeling resentful
[6:01] for this responsible self. And I actually need my
[6:05] responsible self. So I need to figure out how to
[6:06] work with her. And then I also have my carefree
[6:09] self. I call her the carefree fairy in
[6:11] me. She just wants to play.
[6:13] She just wants to play and enjoy with her friends and fuck off
[6:15] and do nothing and be in nature and go with the flow and have no
[6:18] time schedule and have nowhere to be.
[6:20] And I crave this part because I had so much fucking structure
[6:25] growing up. It was, you know, I went to a
[6:27] college preparatory school. It was very intense.
[6:29] I worked really hard in school and then I worked really hard in
[6:32] my extracurriculars, which was like theater, you know, I would
[6:35] be a main person in the production or in dance.
[6:38] I was dancing five nights out of the week, multiple classes a
[6:42] day. Like my life was so incredibly
[6:44] booked and busy my entire fucking life that I feel like
[6:48] like of course I created this carefree fairy part within me
[6:51] that just wants no time schedule.
[6:53] It wants to feel like she can do whatever she wants.
[6:55] It wants to feel like I could honestly just like, smoke my
[6:59] joint all day and vibe and run and jump in the ocean and lay in
[7:03] the grass. And the truth is, when I let
[7:05] that part of me run the show the entire time, and when I let her
[7:08] drive the bus for weeks on end and ignore my responsibilities,
[7:11] I end up more stressed. I end up more overstimulated, I
[7:15] end up more overwhelmed, and I end up not feeling proud of
[7:17] myself because I'm not taking action towards my dreams.
[7:21] So this is the conflict, right? I just wanted to show you guys
[7:24] the conflict within me of the responsible self and the
[7:27] carefree fairy. And I've really been trying to
[7:31] allow these parts to talk to each other and allow the self to
[7:35] come in and be like, OK, how can we move forward?
[7:38] Because we want to move forward. Because I want both parts to
[7:42] feel seen and heard and validated.
[7:44] Because I know I need both aspects of myself.
[7:46] I need all these nuanced parts of myself to be there.
[7:49] I need my responsible part and I need my carefree part and I need
[7:53] the way that they communicate and to flow back and forth to be
[7:56] something that supports me and supports my growth and supports
[7:59] my dream and supports my evolution.
[8:01] That's what I need. So I can't disregard any, any
[8:06] part. I can't disregard the
[8:07] responsible self and I can't disregard the carefree part.
[8:10] I need to make sure they're both showing up for me in a way that
[8:13] supports me, that supports my true self, that supports the
[8:17] self. This is what I want you guys to
[8:19] get with skinny Dipping summer. I am on this fucking goddamn
[8:23] mission to make my life fucking amazing.
[8:25] And for me, what I need to make my life amazing is I want
[8:28] adventure and freedom, but I also want like I also want
[8:32] success within my career and I want forward movement of what
[8:36] I'm creating and I want to. I'm not going to lie, like I
[8:39] don't care if it's egotistical. I want to see my bank account go
[8:42] up. I want to feel abundant
[8:44] financially. I want to feel abundant in my
[8:46] relationships. I just want to feel abundant in
[8:49] my life. And in order to do that, we kind
[8:51] of need to do the work. You can't just like wish for it
[8:54] to happen. You need to manifest a line
[8:57] within and then you need to take fucking action on the outside.
[9:00] You can't do one or the other. You need to do both.
[9:02] They need to work together. And with skinny dipping summer,
[9:05] I really want to encourage all of us to do whatever it takes to
[9:09] make our life better, to show up for ourself because that's what
[9:13] I'm doing right now. I'm like, OK, what do I need and
[9:17] what do I want? What do I desire and what do I
[9:19] need to do to get there? And can I take small steps every
[9:22] single day to get there? That's the mindset that I'm in
[9:24] right now. And yeah, with this skinny
[9:28] dipping summer, I'm realizing in order for me to get those things
[9:30] that I want, I need to be able to have these, you know,
[9:34] responsible and carefree aspects of myself.
[9:37] I need them to be balanced. I need to walk the middle way.
[9:40] I need to find that in between tightrope.
[9:43] And when I do that, I know that I will be so expanded in my
[9:48] life. I know that I will open up so
[9:51] many more opportunities because I'm going to be taking action
[9:54] and I'm going to be feeling my spirit.
[9:56] And that's really what I want this responsible self to do.
[9:59] I want her to take action, right?
[10:01] We want you to be able to take inspired action and also to take
[10:05] uninspired action. We want you to show up when it's
[10:08] mundane. We want you to show up for the
[10:10] devotion and the commitment to whatever it is you want to
[10:13] create in this life. This is your one fucking life.
[10:16] What do you want your legacies to be?
[10:17] What do you want the art to be that you leave behind?
[10:20] What do you want to be the businesses that you leave
[10:22] behind? What do you want the financial
[10:24] abundance that you leave behind for your family for years to
[10:26] come? What do you want that to be?
[10:29] And fucking do it. You literally can do it, but you
[10:33] have to have the game plan and you have to take action and you
[10:35] need this responsible self to show up for you.
[10:38] We need her. We love her.
[10:40] We love her and she gets such a bad rap because I think she's
[10:44] associated to the perfectionist within us, to the productivity
[10:47] machine within us, and we get resentful of her.
[10:50] I get it. But it's like we need her so.
[10:54] And then I also need this carefree part of myself that
[10:56] wants to just have nothing to do.
[10:58] Because the truth is, the best ideas come when you are in
[11:02] nothingness. The best creative downloads can
[11:05] only drop into your brain when you are doing nothing.
[11:07] That's why when you're driving, zoning out, when you're doing
[11:10] the dishes or you're going on a walk, you have the best idea
[11:14] ever. And you have the best idea ever
[11:16] because you're creating space for it.
[11:18] And when you createspace for it, you allow those downloads to
[11:22] drop in. You allow yourself to quiet the
[11:25] mind so that Source and Spirit can speak to you and can tell
[11:29] you what it thinks you should do next.
[11:31] How can you listen to the whispers of the universe if you
[11:34] are too fucking busy listening to the loudness and the busyness
[11:40] and the chaos of the fucking world?
[11:41] World. How can you listen when there's
[11:44] so much fucking noise? So you need to quiet the mind,
[11:47] right? And I do that.
[11:49] Not always in meditation, of course, sometimes in breath
[11:52] work. But the best ideas come when I'm
[11:54] on my drive, when I'm on my walk, when I'm doing the dishes,
[11:56] when I'm not trying to come up with an idea, when I'm just
[11:59] being and existing and doing something completely different.
[12:03] That's kind of almost, I feel like when we're walking or
[12:06] driving or doing the dishes, it's like distracting that
[12:09] prefrontal cortex, right? It's distracting, that front
[12:12] part of our brain that is so noisy and loud.
[12:16] That's the word that I was looking for.
[12:17] Noisy. Yeah.
[12:18] When the world is noisy, how can you hear the whispers of the
[12:21] universe telling you what is the next intuitive inspired action
[12:25] That's next. So I need both.
[12:27] I need to createspace for the carefreeness in me that isn't
[12:31] the responsible To Do List part of me because that's when the
[12:33] downloads come in. And that's what I want you to
[12:35] know is like, you need to Createspace for that
[12:38] nothingness. You need to Createspace for that
[12:40] nothingness, but you also need your responsible self.
[12:45] One of the best parts about having a partner is sharing
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[13:56] It's free. Why not?
[13:59] Also, I think I forgot to be like, hey, let's stroke down and
[14:01] dive in. But we just dove into this
[14:03] episode. I love you guys.
[14:05] If you're new here, I'm Kayla Rose and this is skinny dipping
[14:07] summer. Summer for the curious, girlies
[14:10] for the spiritual girlies for the adventure girlies, for the
[14:13] girls that want to just feel so expanded and abundant in their
[14:17] life. These episodes are for you.
[14:19] These are thought pieces on things that I've been exploring
[14:22] and considering in my own life. And I want to pull all the
[14:25] information together paired with actual steps from, for example,
[14:29] you know, scientific backgrounds like IFS therapy.
[14:31] You know, that's what I'm pulling this parts work from
[14:34] because I want you to feel supported so that you can be
[14:37] abundant. And I want all these episodes to
[14:39] feel like that for you. I want to feel like you can take
[14:42] notes on them, that you can receive your own creative
[14:44] downloads on them. And I hope that if you found
[14:48] this episode, it's for a reason. I hope it, it shifts something
[14:52] within you and creates a new neural pathway in your brain,
[14:55] right? Because you don't know until you
[14:56] know. How are you supposed to have an
[14:59] idea until you know? Maybe you're exposed to it.
[15:01] And I just hope that as I'm speaking, you're having your own
[15:05] downloads and connections and neural pathways being connected
[15:08] within your own mind because you are your own healer.
[15:11] I want to give you the tools so that you can figure out what you
[15:14] need intuitively and you can move towards that.
[15:16] That's what I want for you. And if you feel like you want to
[15:19] be supported in that, I feel like you should join the Soul
[15:22] and progress community because I have like classes that'll keep
[15:24] you in alignment for meditation, breath work, Pilates, all those
[15:27] things that I feel like I really need for my mental health.
[15:30] But then we also have community. So on the feed page in the Soul
[15:34] and Progress community, I love seeing for example, the small
[15:37] wins where people talk about the wins in their day.
[15:40] I just feel so supported by these women.
[15:42] It is so incredible. And yeah, it's $10 a month.
[15:45] I made it so that there's only one group and one tier so that
[15:48] you can access everything within the community now for only $10 a
[15:52] month. There's astrology reports,
[15:55] there's health reports, there's places for you to post your art,
[15:58] post your hobbies, post, you know, yourself, singing,
[16:01] dancing, painting. Like this is a place for you to
[16:03] share that or it's a place for you to share your words.
[16:05] I love when people post like almost sub stack like articles
[16:09] where they share their takes and their words.
[16:11] And I just want this to be a space where maybe somebody who
[16:14] doesn't feel comfortable sharing on social media with the people
[16:16] that follow them, but they want to express and feel seen in who
[16:19] they are. I want this to feel like a safe
[16:21] space. So if you feel like you need
[16:23] extra support right now, the community could be a really
[16:26] great space for you to explore all these feelings and also move
[16:29] towards your goals because we're always all supporting each other
[16:32] in the community. So just a little side note, but
[16:35] let's strip down and dive in. This whole episode was inspired
[16:38] by Addison Ray's new song called Money Is Everything Money.
[16:45] So fucking catchy. I have so many takes also on
[16:48] Addison Rae and like her rebranding and like what social
[16:52] media means for creatives and artists.
[16:54] I want to do a whole episode on it 'cause I feel like it's so
[16:56] interesting because so many creatives on social media really
[16:59] just want to be artists and want to be paid for their work.
[17:01] But we get caught up in like the cringy fucking trends.
[17:06] And I understand that deeply. But she has this line in this
[17:09] song where she's like, a girl just wants to have fun.
[17:14] Can't a girl just have fun? And I was like, wow, that's what
[17:18] I needed to hear. Because I feel like this
[17:20] carefree part of me just wants to have fun.
[17:22] And sometimes I have this very trained part of me that's comes
[17:26] from being, you know, raised in a private school and college
[17:30] preparatory and with parents who are hard on me about my grades
[17:34] and how good I did in things and kind of were helicoptery.
[17:36] And, you know, they were hard on me because they wanted me to be
[17:39] successful. And I adopted those traits.
[17:41] I said I want to be successful. So I'm going to adopt this trait
[17:44] of being hard on myself because it is this form of motivation.
[17:48] And I adopted those parts of myself.
[17:51] And I think what I need is to just have fun and to allow
[17:55] myself to have fun. And I was driving and this
[18:00] download came through and I realized that sometimes I have
[18:04] this part of me, right? I have this like responsible
[18:06] part, this part that's like really hard on myself,
[18:08] perfectionist. But then I have this part of me
[18:10] that just wants to be carefree and wants to have fun.
[18:13] And this is a direct quote from my Notes app.
[18:16] I have this part of me that wants to be carefree and have
[18:19] fun. And sometimes you need that part
[18:22] to fucking rescue you from yourself.
[18:28] You need that part to fucking rescue you.
[18:30] And when I, when I said that out loud, it, it gave me the
[18:32] greatest body chills because I was like this carefree part.
[18:36] I've developed her right in order to move through the
[18:40] stickiness and the conflict with these parts.
[18:42] I like to know where they came from.
[18:43] And for me it's like, of course I developed this carefree part.
[18:46] Who wants to smoke weed all day and run in the fields and do
[18:49] nothing and ignore my work and put things off over and over and
[18:52] over again Because that part needed to be developed in order
[18:56] to fucking save me for my own perfectionism?
[18:58] I needed to have this carefree part.
[19:00] Who genuinely carefree equals didn't care?
[19:03] And by having this carefree part, it sometimes rescues me
[19:09] from my own spiral perfectionism and being hard on myself.
[19:12] And I fucking need her. And I love her and I just want
[19:16] to have fun sometimes. And I notice on my most vibrant
[19:19] self with my friend Kaimana. He is my best friend since we
[19:21] were 12 years old. And when I am with him, I am, I
[19:24] am explosively vibrant and joyful and fun and loud and
[19:29] talkative and I'm just cracking up and giggling the entire time.
[19:33] And I fucking love that version of myself so much.
[19:37] And I'm so grateful she came to rescue me.
[19:39] And I want to feel the gratitude for her.
[19:42] Because as we feel the gratitude for these parts and we see their
[19:45] purpose, when we see the purpose for the parts, we unburden them.
[19:49] So what does burden versus unburden mean in internal family
[19:52] systems? So first of all, last thing I
[19:55] want to say on that is I just am beginning to notice the ways
[19:58] that I take myself too seriously and by noticing the ways that I
[20:01] take myself too seriously and allowing this carefree aspect of
[20:05] me to come in and rescue me. Literally, the word rescue is so
[20:08] definitive here because it's like I needed to rescue me.
[20:11] Like grab me from the whole of Alice in Wonderland that I'm
[20:15] falling down and rescue me. Rescue me from the drowning
[20:18] waters of the Seas. That's how it feels.
[20:20] I feel like I'm rescuing myself from my own perfectionism.
[20:23] And I fucking love this part. So burdened and unburdened
[20:28] aspects in IFS internal family systems.
[20:33] Again, I'm not a fucking expert. This is just what I've been
[20:36] learning and experiencing, and it's been helping me.
[20:39] So I hope this helps somebody. I always just pray that it helps
[20:42] one person in a way that it'll change their life.
[20:44] I always set the intention before diving into the podcast
[20:46] that, yeah, I just hope it resonates with somebody.
[20:51] So burden means that it's hurting us.
[20:54] Unburdened means that it can do its job without hurting us,
[20:56] basically. So, for example, the burdened
[21:00] carefree fairy, we'll call her that the burdened carefree
[21:05] fairy. She yearns to be rebellious.
[21:07] She yearns to be a rebel and she yearns to be irresponsible.
[21:11] She wants to be irresponsible 'cause she wants to say fuck you
[21:14] all, fuck the responsibilities, I just wanna play.
[21:18] But then she's so burdened because she's so miserable and
[21:21] she's acting from this place of irresponsible rebellion and not
[21:28] rebellion and carefreeness that supports my creativity.
[21:31] In fact, something that actually hurts me and my creativity and
[21:34] my work because I feel like if I I'm not showing up for my work
[21:39] and then I get more stressed. I have too many thoughts going
[21:42] on that I can't even be creative.
[21:44] Maybe you can relate to that. Does anybody understand me?
[21:48] I know you do. And then we have the burdened,
[21:52] responsible part. I noticed that the burdened,
[21:55] responsible part within me feels like they have to try to hold
[21:58] everything together. She feels like she is just
[22:00] holding all these parts and nobody is fucking listening to
[22:03] her, right? She's like, you guys, we need to
[22:05] do this because we have big dreams and big goals.
[22:08] Like listen to me. She's trying to round up the
[22:10] troops, but the troops aren't listening.
[22:11] The kids aren't listening. She's dealing with toddlers.
[22:14] She's dealing with literal toddlers.
[22:18] And so she's really annoyed, right?
[22:19] And she's burdened in this way because nobody's cooperating,
[22:22] nobody's listening to her, and she feels like things are out of
[22:24] her control. And that's why I developed this
[22:26] part, because I wanted things to feel in control.
[22:29] So that's when the self comes in and the self you sense, close
[22:34] your eyes and just sense that self within you.
[22:36] Now taking a deep breath, holding at the top, taking one
[22:44] more little inhale, filling up to your lungs to your greatest
[22:47] capacity and sighing it out. 321 letting it all go and just begin
[22:52] to sense the self within you. You'll notice because you'll
[22:58] feel curious about how you're feeling.
[22:59] She'll feel compassionate towards everything you're
[23:02] experiencing. She'll feel creative and
[23:05] excited. She'll feel joyful, she'll feel
[23:10] also calm and collected, like she can handle it even when it
[23:13] feels overwhelming. Just begin to sense that part of
[23:16] yourself that is always there, even when you don't see her.
[23:22] Doesn't that feel good to connect to that part of
[23:24] yourself? So basically what happens is
[23:29] when the self comes in, we can start talking with the fairy
[23:33] girl and the responsible girl and we can say, hey girl, what
[23:38] do you need right now, right? And the unburdened carefree,
[23:41] what she needs to do is she needs to know this is from my
[23:44] own personal self reflection. You need to do your own self
[23:46] reflection. But I hope this helps you.
[23:49] When the carefree fairy is unburdened, she knows that her
[23:54] time is important. Her freedom is important.
[23:57] Her time of doing nothing is incredibly important and
[24:00] valuable. And we she wants to be
[24:02] recognized by the responsible self that she is also important
[24:06] and powerful and important and valued.
[24:08] And she needs to know that we will set aside designated time
[24:12] for her to have her freedom. She craves it.
[24:15] She wants to have nowhere to be. And her trigger is if she feels
[24:18] rushed right, then I'll feel triggered and overwhelmed
[24:21] because I feel rushed. And if she's feeling rushed,
[24:24] she's not going to be happy. She's going to be burdened.
[24:25] So we want her to not feel rushed.
[24:27] And we want her to know that there are going to be times set
[24:30] aside, days that we're going to set aside that we can say you
[24:33] can do nothing today. You're going to throw everything
[24:35] off the table and do what brings you joy.
[24:36] And we're going to give you a couple days a week so that you
[24:39] can really do that. But we also, we need to explain
[24:42] to her, hey, girl, we really need our responsible self to
[24:44] show up right now. We really need her because you
[24:47] know, you want to do XYZ with your life, you want to travel,
[24:50] you want to write a book, you want to make your podcast huge.
[24:53] Like I want those things for you.
[24:55] The self wants it. We're aligned.
[24:57] We want the same things. And in that, I need you to know
[25:01] that we need the responsible self to sometimes take the wheel
[25:04] and be in the driver's seat. Are you OK with that?
[25:07] And just letting the carefree self know that she will get her
[25:09] time? That for me makes me feel so
[25:11] heard and unburdened because I feel like, OK, I'm kind of
[25:14] letting this inner child, pardon me, know that you will get your
[25:17] time to be free. And we're going to set aside
[25:19] time maybe today, Monday, Tuesday, we're going to work
[25:22] hard. And then Wednesday, let's have a
[25:23] day off. Let's go play with our friends,
[25:24] let's go to the beach. Let's have nothing to do and
[25:27] just go with the flow and do what feels good.
[25:29] And then I get that time. I feel filled up.
[25:32] And then I feel like I can come back to my responsible self.
[25:35] And then I go to the, you know, the burdened, responsible part
[25:39] of me. And I'm like, hey, girl, hey,
[25:40] girl, what you need? What's going on?
[25:43] And, you know, she's like, well, I just don't feel valued.
[25:46] I don't feel like anybody's listening to me.
[25:47] I don't feel like you're listening to me.
[25:49] And I just want to take action 'cause I want to get these
[25:51] things done for you. And I feel frustrated because no
[25:54] one's fucking listening. And we're letting toddlers and
[25:57] inner teens run the show. And it's like, OK, the self
[26:01] comes in and it's like, OK, I hear you.
[26:03] I want you to know that you are valued and you do have a
[26:05] significant place in my life. I know that you are trying to
[26:08] make me feel proud of myself and make me feel successful.
[26:11] Thank you for doing that. I want you to keep doing that.
[26:13] Please keep doing that. And the wind hitting right now
[26:17] is wind confirmation. And I would love if you can do
[26:21] it in short spurts. You can work hard, work
[26:23] efficiently, and then you can take a break.
[26:25] How about that? Because actually responsible
[26:28] self, when you take breaks, you are more efficient, you are more
[26:32] energized, you are actually more productive in the long run.
[26:36] And then we don't get burnt out and we can stay responsible for
[26:40] longer. Because if we go really hard,
[26:42] you see, if we go really hard and we're really responsible for
[26:44] a long time and we just work so hard and drag ourselves into the
[26:48] ground and we're so productive, we're going to get burnt out.
[26:51] And then we're going to shut down.
[26:53] And we're going to become overwhelmed and over stimulated
[26:55] and we're going to be shut down. And that's not going to be fun.
[26:57] And in the end of the day, you're not going to get your way
[26:59] responsible self, if we burn out.
[27:01] So what we need to do is work efficiently and take breaks.
[27:04] And actually, I want you to see when you take breaks,
[27:07] responsible self, that yeah, you are better because of it.
[27:13] And when you let the carefree girl have the seat, you actually
[27:17] see that you have so many more ideas to act upon and so many
[27:19] more creative ideas to take inspired action.
[27:22] When you take rest, you know that the energy that you are
[27:25] moving forward with is coming from this internal place, not a
[27:28] place that is forced because you can't force it.
[27:30] You're going to have more resistance if you force it.
[27:32] So let's just go at a steady pace that feels good for us, OK?
[27:37] And I promise you that when you do this, when you allow me to be
[27:41] carefree when I need to be, and when you allow me to live
[27:44] unburdened, I promise you will live on.
[27:47] Brendan too. You know, responsible self.
[27:49] You will feel better, you will feel productive, you will feel
[27:53] like you are doing the right thing.
[27:54] You will feel proud of yourself, you will feel successful.
[27:57] And that's what I want for you. And see how just talking out
[28:01] these parts of ourselves that are conflicting with each other,
[28:05] See how it just begins to just work itself out naturally.
[28:09] Even hearing me talk about these parts of myself, I'm sure is
[28:12] unweaving something in your subconscious, in your brain that
[28:15] is making you feel seen. And that's what I want for you.
[28:20] So I hope you also see what the ifs, the different ways that you
[28:23] can work out the different parts of yourself.
[28:25] And I really encourage you to do this journaling.
[28:27] You know, I really journaled like, what does the burden part
[28:30] feel like and look like? And you know, when the self
[28:33] comes in and asks these questions of curiosity, what do
[28:35] you need? This is something you can do on
[28:37] your own in your journal. What does it need to do or feel
[28:41] to be unburdened? You know, what does this part
[28:44] need to be told and recognized with that will make it feel
[28:47] unburdened and more free to do its job in a way that benefits
[28:50] us? And you have to understand all
[28:52] these different parts of yourself that come up, even the
[28:54] parts that frustrate us or feel, you know, limiting I, you have
[28:59] to understand they have a purpose for you.
[29:00] And if they are treated right, they will treat you right.
[29:04] So we just need to take care of all these different aspects of
[29:07] ourselves and honor it and know that nothing is right or wrong
[29:10] or good or bad. It just is.
[29:11] And we are actually inherently perfect and worthy the way that
[29:15] we are. And that's what this practice
[29:17] teaches us, that, you know, we have complications, we have
[29:20] contradictions, We have parts of ourselves that don't agree.
[29:23] And that is totally normal and so human.
[29:25] And I actually love that because I love being complex and
[29:28] nuanced. And yeah, it is a beautiful
[29:31] thing. And I want you to see that you
[29:32] have all these parts and every part is actually perfect.
[29:35] I just want you to know that all these parts are human and if we
[29:38] can communicate with them, we are benefited from it.
[29:41] I loved this episode so much. We're going to keep it short and
[29:43] sweet. I love you guys.
[29:45] Please share this episode. Tag us on Instagram where you're
[29:47] listening at 70s KK as skinny dipping Diaries and I love
[29:51] skinny dipping summer. I love the person that I'm
[29:53] becoming. I love the person you're
[29:54] becoming and I'm so glad that we're doing it together.
[29:56] Join the soul and progress community to kind of like, you
[29:58] know, like see what's going on. It's so fun.
[30:00] I want you there. There's a free trial so you can
[30:02] just check it out. Share your thoughts on the
[30:05] episode on the community. That would be super awesome.
[30:07] I'd love to hear your own reflections and yummy if you
[30:11] feel like you have something calling you.
[30:12] I love you. Happy skinny to bring summer.
[30:15] I'm going into my retreat or maybe I'm in my retreat right
[30:18] now when this is premiering. This is so exciting.
[30:21] OK, bye.

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