# ☎️ Bestie Hotline: My 7yo is Ashamed of her Body Hair

An episode of [We Don't Have Time For This](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1544178687), 4 Jun 2026, 13 min.

Audio: https://p.podderapp.com/2544644999/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/4f8dbbbd-dca3-422d-beec-b4a2017094cd/491467b8-32a8-45b0-83c5-b4a201724083/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=cb643b19-682a-420b-8163-b4a201709908

This week's caller wants to know if she should let her 7yo shave. LIVE SHOW TICKETS and MERCH - Submit your OTDL Submit your Bestie Hotline Join our Facebook Group Check out our Amazon Storefront Sign Up To Bestie Bulletin Subscribe to MORE TIME For This: Subscribe on Apple Subscribe on Spotify Listen to our cool little sister podcast: The Fifth Trimester on Spotify The Fifth Trimester on Apple Send This Episode To Your Friends: I Need A New Podcast (Spotify) I Need A New Podcast (Apple) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the
[0:03] Speaker 1: land that this podcast is recorded on this week. Hello,
[0:22] Speaker 1: I'm welcome to Bestie Hotline. Bring rang ring, bring it on.
[0:26] Speaker 1: That's fried VS. Yep, Yes I am, and sheeese do
[0:31] Speaker 1: you have a peanut?
[0:32] Speaker 2: Yep?
[0:32] Speaker 1: Dels.
[0:33] Speaker 3: You know it's not a comfort listen, is it when
[0:35] Speaker 3: you don't know how the intro is going to go?
[0:37] Speaker 1: With Bestie Hotline? Sorry?
[0:38] Speaker 2: And you know what, recently I met a new DL
[0:41] Speaker 2: who just started listening and they're like, oh, yeah, I
[0:43] Speaker 2: just listened to your latest EP and I was like, oh,
[0:46] Speaker 2: I wonder.
[0:46] Speaker 1: What that was.
[0:47] Speaker 2: And it was a Bestie Hotline Because it was the
[0:48] Speaker 2: last one that come out. I was like, oh no,
[0:50] Speaker 2: REVS were cooking this.
[0:52] Speaker 1: Oh I mean me. Yeah. For some reason, your brain
[0:54] Speaker 1: glitches on the intro.
[0:57] Speaker 2: I have the passenger princess role in our normal episodes
[1:00] Speaker 2: because you do all of it, and I'm like.
[1:01] Speaker 1: And I'm Kate Raves level, but like.
[1:04] Speaker 3: In this one, I have to drive, and for some reason,
[1:06] Speaker 3: you just change it up every single week. I never
[1:09] Speaker 3: know what we're gonna get. It's okay, it's not okay,
[1:11] Speaker 3: don't be unclined to yourself.
[1:12] Speaker 1: Grow up, ribs. I don't know anyway. It's not about
[1:14] Speaker 1: me or you. It's about our dls and their lemons,
[1:18] Speaker 1: that's right, And who got the bestie hotline?
[1:20] Speaker 3: Today we have a write in Rebsie Okay, Our DL says,
[1:23] Speaker 3: my seven year old daughter is desperate to shave her
[1:26] Speaker 3: arms and legs because she's really self conscious about her
[1:29] Speaker 3: body hair. She's fair with dark hair, so it's noticeable
[1:33] Speaker 3: and she's been asking for over a year. She even
[1:35] Speaker 3: wore long sleeves and.
[1:37] Speaker 1: Pants through summer to hide it. Betty girl. She's also
[1:40] Speaker 1: noticed hair around her vulva and is embarrassed by about two.
[1:43] Speaker 3: The issue is I was also a hairy little girl,
[1:46] Speaker 3: so I deeply get it. I remember being consumed by it,
[1:49] Speaker 3: and now as an adult, I've had laser and the
[1:52] Speaker 3: whole work.
[1:52] Speaker 1: So part of me wants to help her feel more comfortable.
[1:55] Speaker 3: But the other part of me is, like, she's seven,
[1:58] Speaker 3: Do I really want to start her on lifelong admin
[2:01] Speaker 3: of being a woman before she's even.
[2:02] Speaker 1: Lost her baby teeth.
[2:04] Speaker 3: I don't want her thinking her body needs fixing, but
[2:06] Speaker 3: I also don't want her sweating through a Sydney summer
[2:09] Speaker 3: in long sleeves because she feels a shamed Oh baby,
[2:12] Speaker 3: what do I do? Do I let her shave? Do
[2:14] Speaker 3: I hold the line? Is there a middle ground?
[2:16] Speaker 1: Help?
[2:17] Speaker 3: Yes, there's a middle ground. There's definitely a middle ground.
[2:20] Speaker 3: Don't you reckon the temptation With a problem like.
[2:23] Speaker 1: This from your child. It can go one of two ways.
[2:26] Speaker 3: You could either like dismiss it, Yeah, which isn't helpful
[2:29] Speaker 3: because it's not making her feelings feel acknowledged because it
[2:32] Speaker 3: sounds distressing to her.
[2:33] Speaker 1: Yeah, like if she's wearing long sleeves.
[2:35] Speaker 3: And putting herself through the discomfort of being hot because
[2:38] Speaker 3: she feels shame about her hairy arms and legs, that's
[2:40] Speaker 3: a problem. But then the other way that we can swing,
[2:43] Speaker 3: which also isn't helpful, where it's like, oh, this is
[2:45] Speaker 3: a problem and we can fix this immediately, and you're
[2:47] Speaker 3: feeling uncomfortable about it, and I want to solve this
[2:49] Speaker 3: for you. And the other third layer is you're perfect
[2:53] Speaker 3: my life. Yes, you don't need fixing, need fixing. You're
[2:56] Speaker 3: absolutely perfect.
[2:57] Speaker 2: This is the way you were made and it's beautiful
[3:00] Speaker 2: and you'll eventually one day maybe see that it's beautiful.
[3:03] Speaker 2: But she's a very, very long way away from that day.
[3:06] Speaker 3: And we all know that feeling when you don't feel
[3:09] Speaker 3: beautiful and someone goes, but you're beautiful and you're cool.
[3:14] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't doesn't change me thing to me. Yeah,
[3:17] Speaker 1: So here's what I would do.
[3:19] Speaker 2: Seven is very young, But I think I was starting
[3:23] Speaker 2: to get hairy at seven.
[3:24] Speaker 1: I've declared on here a sute lady runs in the family. Strong,
[3:29] Speaker 1: strong hair geene.
[3:31] Speaker 2: In fact, when I held my beautiful nana's hand as
[3:34] Speaker 2: she was dying, I noted her full.
[3:36] Speaker 1: Beard and I was like, that'll be me.
[3:38] Speaker 2: So my mum did not want me to touch anything
[3:42] Speaker 2: for these exact same reasons. And I actually really understand
[3:44] Speaker 2: and empathize with this because I get it the lifelong
[3:47] Speaker 2: admin of being a woman. There's never been a more
[3:49] Speaker 2: real sentence.
[3:50] Speaker 1: And there's nothing more.
[3:50] Speaker 3: Poignant than hearing someone say before she's even lost her.
[3:54] Speaker 2: Baby teeth, poor darling. However, hair grows back. Don't go
[3:58] Speaker 2: get it laser. Even if she did, like it would
[4:00] Speaker 2: still come back. She's still going to go through many
[4:03] Speaker 2: hair cycles and hormonal shifts in her life.
[4:06] Speaker 1: I think it's kind.
[4:07] Speaker 2: Of like you've got to look at this like a
[4:08] Speaker 2: haircut and like wax or creams or like I'm thinking
[4:13] Speaker 2: like the pain for a seven year old would be
[4:14] Speaker 2: quite a lot, so you'd kind of be up to her.
[4:17] Speaker 1: But like I think waxing or you know, remember a
[4:20] Speaker 1: silky mitt? No, do they still have that? What's that?
[4:23] Speaker 1: It's basically where you like rub hair away? Oh yeah,
[4:27] Speaker 1: with a cream? No, it's a mitt?
[4:30] Speaker 2: Can I think she can do herself and like have
[4:32] Speaker 2: a bit of agency over is what I'm thinking?
[4:35] Speaker 1: Question? Yeah, Like is hair bleaching a radical idea?
[4:39] Speaker 3: So it's just making it like blend more into the skin,
[4:42] Speaker 3: it's still rather than get And would it last longer?
[4:45] Speaker 1: I don't. It's hard to know without knowing her color. Okay,
[4:48] Speaker 1: Well she said she's fair.
[4:49] Speaker 3: She's fair fair with dark hair, So then I thought, maybe,
[4:52] Speaker 3: like would bleaching help?
[4:54] Speaker 1: Is it the contrast that makes it stand out? Well,
[4:56] Speaker 1: I don't know. It just feels like a lot for
[4:58] Speaker 1: a seven year old.
[4:59] Speaker 2: But if she's hating it that much, I kind of
[5:01] Speaker 2: think you can do more damage going No, keep like
[5:04] Speaker 2: you're not allowed to do a thing.
[5:05] Speaker 3: Well, I think being hardlined on anything is very damaging.
[5:09] Speaker 3: But equally I would feel reluctant to give in straight
[5:13] Speaker 3: away to we'll solve this.
[5:16] Speaker 2: I agree, because but I think the key is in straightaway.
[5:18] Speaker 2: Sounds like it's not straight away. Sounds like this is protracted,
[5:21] Speaker 2: like this has been going on a long time.
[5:23] Speaker 3: I know, but this is the first time that our
[5:26] Speaker 3: DL is being faced with it as a parent.
[5:28] Speaker 2: I mean no, no, I mean with her child. She's
[5:30] Speaker 2: saying like this is how she's feeling. She's now even
[5:33] Speaker 2: started worrying. I don't think this is a news thing, okay,
[5:35] Speaker 2: sounds to me like it's been around for a while,
[5:38] Speaker 2: you know. Fun story when I was about I'm trying
[5:40] Speaker 2: to figure out how old I was. I was definitely
[5:41] Speaker 2: in primary school. I think it would have been year five.
[5:44] Speaker 2: I had thick, thick eyebrows, which will surprise no one,
[5:47] Speaker 2: and my mum didn't want me to pluck them fair enough.
[5:50] Speaker 2: One night, I just literally did it with my fingers
[5:53] Speaker 2: and I went too wide, and in the morning she
[5:56] Speaker 2: was like, what have you done? And I'd like, literally
[5:58] Speaker 2: just pulled out too far, you know. And her trauma
[6:03] Speaker 2: was I plucked my eyebrows one time and they never
[6:05] Speaker 2: grew back, like I plucked them too thin and they
[6:07] Speaker 2: never grew back because she wanted to save me from that.
[6:09] Speaker 1: And now I look at my kids, who have.
[6:11] Speaker 2: Both inherited really full eyebrows, and I think they're so beautiful.
[6:15] Speaker 2: This is the other thing. And I think their leg
[6:17] Speaker 2: hair is beautiful. I think their arm hair is beautiful,
[6:20] Speaker 2: like I think my kids freckles are beautiful. All these
[6:22] Speaker 2: things that you, as an actual child, can be repulsed by.
[6:25] Speaker 2: I look at them and think it's so beautiful because
[6:28] Speaker 2: I made that, and they're little, and I'm in a
[6:30] Speaker 2: different life stage where I find difference beautiful.
[6:33] Speaker 1: But when you're in it and you want to change it,
[6:36] Speaker 1: it's distressing. It's distressing.
[6:38] Speaker 2: And then the idea that because I got teased for
[6:40] Speaker 2: my eyebrows, yeah, by main little shits, you know, but
[6:44] Speaker 2: that is something if I could avoid for my kids,
[6:47] Speaker 2: they don't need to go through that, you know. If
[6:49] Speaker 2: they did, they'd survive it, we'd get over it, they'd
[6:51] Speaker 2: be resilience all that stuff.
[6:53] Speaker 1: But like, if I can also help remove it, I
[6:55] Speaker 1: don't know. That's one thing. I kind of would to
[6:56] Speaker 1: be bullied for your appearance, horrible, fucking horrible.
[6:59] Speaker 3: I would get to the bottom of that first, Like
[7:02] Speaker 3: I'm trying to imagine a version where Rafa comes to
[7:04] Speaker 3: me and she's feeling really ashamed about her body, hair,
[7:07] Speaker 3: or I've noticed that she's had a change of behavior.
[7:11] Speaker 3: The knee jerk reaction is I can fix this for her,
[7:14] Speaker 3: But I think my approach would be to try and
[7:17] Speaker 3: casualize it. Yeah, so there's no sense of urgency to it.
[7:21] Speaker 3: I would want to dive deeper and be like, hey,
[7:24] Speaker 3: where do you think these feelings are coming from? Can
[7:26] Speaker 3: we talk about the hair and your body, because, like
[7:28] Speaker 3: I think with a child as well, it's so delicate,
[7:31] Speaker 3: Like you've got to have the conversations around body image
[7:33] Speaker 3: because you don't want negative body image to kind of
[7:35] Speaker 3: calcify in.
[7:36] Speaker 1: A seven year old's brain.
[7:37] Speaker 3: I feel like there's still opportunity to open up the
[7:41] Speaker 3: chat about, hey, why do we feel this way? And
[7:44] Speaker 3: that's fine that you feel this way. I'm sorry that
[7:46] Speaker 3: you feel this.
[7:46] Speaker 1: Way, but I just want you to know that hair
[7:48] Speaker 1: is completely normal.
[7:50] Speaker 3: Lots of people have hair, some people choose to remove it,
[7:53] Speaker 3: some people wear it proudly. If you wanted to feel
[7:57] Speaker 3: more comfortable in your skin, it's not for you, yes, yeah, totally,
[8:02] Speaker 3: it's not for child choice, then there are options, and
[8:04] Speaker 3: maybe we can look at those options and maybe make
[8:07] Speaker 3: it more sort.
[8:07] Speaker 1: Of practical that way rather than I don't know.
[8:11] Speaker 3: I think as parents it's hard not to project right
[8:13] Speaker 3: because we want to lawn be lawnmower parents. We want
[8:16] Speaker 3: to fix it for them, especially like for you where
[8:19] Speaker 3: it's personally triggering because you went through it. It's like,
[8:22] Speaker 3: how do we stay neutral so that it's not a
[8:24] Speaker 3: comment on it.
[8:25] Speaker 1: It's not saying it's bad, it's.
[8:26] Speaker 3: Not saying that your body hair is wrong. It's not
[8:29] Speaker 3: affirming that because it's not wrong. But then look to
[8:33] Speaker 3: the what's going on behind the scenes with the behavior.
[8:35] Speaker 3: It's like, hey, did someone comment on it? Was it
[8:38] Speaker 3: a family member, did a family member maybe comment on
[8:40] Speaker 3: your hair? Was it one of your friends at school? Like,
[8:42] Speaker 3: let's talk about that. Did someone say anything? Or is
[8:45] Speaker 3: this something you've landed on yourself or did you see
[8:47] Speaker 3: it on someone and maybe you didn't like it? Like
[8:49] Speaker 3: I'd really want to try and get to the bottom
[8:51] Speaker 3: of that, Yeah, totally, as well as well as offering solutions.
[8:55] Speaker 3: And I think some kids would even feel a sense
[8:59] Speaker 3: of relief that their own parent is like, hey, we
[9:01] Speaker 3: can do something about that if you want to.
[9:03] Speaker 1: But maybe sit with it for a little while and
[9:05] Speaker 1: just sit with it. These are your options.
[9:08] Speaker 3: And then I think even that would make me go, oh, okay,
[9:11] Speaker 3: I can actually do something rather than thinking, oh my god,
[9:14] Speaker 3: this is a life sentence and I'm going to be
[9:15] Speaker 3: bullied forever.
[9:17] Speaker 1: And my parent is saying absolutely not. You're too young.
[9:20] Speaker 1: So I'm stuck with it.
[9:21] Speaker 3: But like how you felt, and I love that you
[9:23] Speaker 3: have empathy for your mum now she's trying to preserve
[9:25] Speaker 3: your childhood.
[9:26] Speaker 1: But equally it would have been tough, right, yeah, definitely,
[9:29] Speaker 1: but even hard to watch, I think.
[9:30] Speaker 2: And it sounds like with the Vulver hair as well,
[9:32] Speaker 2: it sounds like she might be an early developer, which
[9:34] Speaker 2: is a whole other and I'm definitely projecting with that
[9:37] Speaker 2: like a whole other pain. But also you understand that's
[9:40] Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, I just you just feel like
[9:43] Speaker 2: a fucking freak.
[9:44] Speaker 1: If you're going early seven is young seven for hair
[9:47] Speaker 1: on her volver?
[9:48] Speaker 3: Very no?
[9:49] Speaker 1: Yeah? So yeah.
[9:51] Speaker 2: But then also if mums removed everything and she can
[9:53] Speaker 2: see that, you know what I mean.
[9:54] Speaker 1: That's so true. And we've talked about this before on
[9:56] Speaker 1: the pod.
[9:57] Speaker 3: Like how so many of us have Brazil lasers and
[10:01] Speaker 3: our kids see us in the shower and what's going
[10:04] Speaker 3: to happen one day when they get pubes? So they're
[10:07] Speaker 3: going to freak out not understand. You know, it's funny.
[10:09] Speaker 3: I've had some pubes come back post pregnancy. I had
[10:13] Speaker 3: it all laser away before, and you know, it all
[10:15] Speaker 3: comes back in cycles as revs mentioned before. And I
[10:18] Speaker 3: was almost relieved one time when I was in the
[10:20] Speaker 3: shower you with wrath but no, but Rafa was like, Mommy,
[10:24] Speaker 3: why have you got hair on your vagina? And I
[10:26] Speaker 3: was like, great, Yeah, I have this conversation with her
[10:29] Speaker 3: because I want to get it lasered away again completely.
[10:32] Speaker 1: I mean, when she's no longer in the shower with you,
[10:35] Speaker 1: when does that stop?
[10:36] Speaker 2: Soon?
[10:37] Speaker 1: Does it?
[10:38] Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't think Eli's had a shower with me
[10:40] Speaker 2: for a couple of years. Yeah, really ted sitters she's eleven.
[10:44] Speaker 1: Yeah, both make and she really enjoys her shower her time.
[10:47] Speaker 1: She loves singing and she does she sings.
[10:50] Speaker 2: On the top of her She like really loves a nice
[10:52] Speaker 2: hot shower. She does her everything shower you know, which
[10:55] Speaker 2: for her is washed your hair.
[10:56] Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I have Oh my god, I just
[10:58] Speaker 1: realized I haven't a shower with her, and I'll long time. Wow,
[11:01] Speaker 1: that's actually really sad.
[11:02] Speaker 3: Well, this is the thing about kids growing up as
[11:04] Speaker 3: you don't know it, and it's the last time you
[11:06] Speaker 3: picked them up, we gave them a bit piggyback, you know,
[11:08] Speaker 3: because they suddenly got too big.
[11:09] Speaker 1: Well, I'm getting there with Ted.
[11:10] Speaker 2: He's gone through a huge gross of it and I'm like,
[11:12] Speaker 2: oh my god, it's coming any minute, the last time
[11:15] Speaker 2: of all these things.
[11:16] Speaker 1: Yeah, wild, So.
[11:17] Speaker 3: I should relish in the showers. Yeah yeah, the family
[11:21] Speaker 3: bath that you love.
[11:22] Speaker 1: To give me a shut This is so funny. I
[11:24] Speaker 1: love a family buffen one the other day, so happy
[11:26] Speaker 1: for you, Thank you, family Soup's so fun. It's gross, dear.
[11:30] Speaker 2: I know we often say this, but I really would
[11:32] Speaker 2: love a check in. I really love to see where
[11:34] Speaker 2: you land. I think we could really help other people.
[11:36] Speaker 1: In this boat.
[11:37] Speaker 2: If you're comfortable, let us know where you get to.
[11:40] Speaker 2: But I just want to say, you're a wonderful mum,
[11:43] Speaker 2: and this is not easy shit. And your baby girl's
[11:46] Speaker 2: going to be just fine because she's got you, So
[11:48] Speaker 2: she's going to be all good.
[11:49] Speaker 1: All right, dear, Hey guys, it's a long weekend. This
[11:52] Speaker 1: weekend it is? Is it the King's birth I die?
[11:55] Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like we've had so many public holidays. Sure,
[11:58] Speaker 2: I'm just really slap them in this year.
[12:00] Speaker 3: Is it one of those things where it's not technically
[12:03] Speaker 3: the King's birthday?
[12:04] Speaker 1: Never, it's like the horses birthday?
[12:06] Speaker 3: So it used to be the Queen's birthday this same
[12:08] Speaker 3: long weekend, it's now just okay, interesting, well, great, more
[12:12] Speaker 3: power to us.
[12:13] Speaker 2: I don't know what his actual sign is. He's giving
[12:16] Speaker 2: pisces pisce in love that for him. If over the
[12:21] Speaker 2: long weekend you are thirsty for content, maybe suggest you
[12:24] Speaker 2: join the Moretime Family. You could literally listen to podcasts
[12:27] Speaker 2: you've never listened to fresh content all weekend because there's
[12:30] Speaker 2: hundreds of epps just waiting there for you to dive into.
[12:33] Speaker 3: The recent episodes are rather unhinged, sure in the best way.
[12:37] Speaker 3: It's a fun little group, the Moretime Fam. A lot
[12:40] Speaker 3: goes down over there. Sure, but we love you dls,
[12:44] Speaker 3: and of course, as always, we'll be back in your
[12:46] Speaker 3: ears bright and early on Tuesday with a regular episode.
[12:49] Speaker 1: Yeah bye bye, Hi,

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