# Ep.5: Back 2 School

An episode of [Parental Revisory](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1510676601), 14 Sep 2026, 1 h 24 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75111750/ep5audio.mp3

This is what is sounds like when parents LIKE their children... Hosts Bethany and Mariano are getting back into the swing of things now that school is back in session. They discuss the importance of teaching children about discernment, the power of undivided attention in parenting, and what they should have been teaching us in high school instead of free-time in PE. In this episode: • Back 2 School Season • Bethany's eventful summer break in Africa • Relocating Saved Their Lives • How USA Fumbled Millenials • Being Honest with You Children About Family Members • Consent & Discernment And so much more! FOLLOW @parentalrevisory on Instagram! Video available on YouTube every Wednesday! Questions? Need Advice? Email us at ParentalRevisory@gmail.com

## Transcript

[0:03] Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Parental Revisory.
[0:08] Speaker 1: I'm your girl, Bethany. And, of course, I'm joined by
[0:11] Speaker 1: my favorite co-host of all time. We got Mariano here.
[0:16] Speaker 2: Aw, man. Aw. You know it. Yeah, man. You don't know. Same.
[0:21] Speaker 2: You already know it's the same, dog. Like, the only
[0:24] Speaker 2: person that, no matter what's going on, I'm going to
[0:26] Speaker 2: make time for it, dog. Like, when it comes to this, like, recording. Yo,
[0:29] Speaker 2: we need to record on... Sunday at 4 a.m., I'm there.
[0:32] Speaker 2: I promise you that. Like, you know what I'm saying? But, yeah, man,
[0:36] Speaker 2: we here, man. We here. Always happy to be here,
[0:38] Speaker 2: as usual, you know. And, you know, we pulled up
[0:40] Speaker 2: to kick it, man, to talk, you know.
[0:42] Speaker 1: That's right. That's right. So, it's about that time, kids
[0:46] Speaker 1: going back to school. What's the household looking like over there?
[0:49] Speaker 2: How y'all getting settled? So, here's the thing, right? It's
[0:53] Speaker 2: usually hectic the first, like, couple days or whatever because
[0:58] Speaker 2: we spent the whole summer– Not necessarily like having to
[1:01] Speaker 2: get up at a certain time and have these deadlines
[1:03] Speaker 2: and we got to do this and breakfast and drop
[1:05] Speaker 2: offs and, you know, all this type of stuff. Right.
[1:08] Speaker 2: So now because of my schedule, I get off work late.
[1:10] Speaker 2: It'd be three o'clock in the morning, four o'clock in
[1:12] Speaker 2: the morning or whatever. So I got to get right
[1:14] Speaker 2: back up at like seven ish, you know, to get
[1:16] Speaker 2: everything in motion. Yeah. You know, but I've been doing
[1:19] Speaker 2: it so long that it's kind of like it works.
[1:22] Speaker 1: Right.
[1:22] Speaker 2: Like I figured it out. So I get spoiled in
[1:27] Speaker 2: the summer where I can just wake up. pretty much
[1:29] Speaker 2: like whenever you know what i mean i don't usually
[1:31] Speaker 2: sleep in like super late anyway but when it's time
[1:34] Speaker 2: to get back into that mode it's like i feel
[1:36] Speaker 2: like i'm back in school too you know because i
[1:38] Speaker 2: gotta get back up you know i gotta get back
[1:39] Speaker 2: back with it um so there's a lot going on
[1:42] Speaker 2: for the first couple days but then i think maybe
[1:43] Speaker 2: like that uh because they always start in the middle
[1:45] Speaker 2: of the week down here for some reason their first
[1:47] Speaker 2: day of school is always a wednesday oh no i
[1:51] Speaker 2: don't know why you know what i mean so it's
[1:52] Speaker 2: like kind of like uh it's like a it's like
[1:54] Speaker 2: a little bit of a roller coaster like a you
[1:56] Speaker 2: know a dip a little bit where it's like okay, cool,
[1:59] Speaker 2: we got to be up for these little couple days.
[2:00] Speaker 2: And then it's like we back down for the weekend. And,
[2:02] Speaker 2: you know, so once we get to that second week,
[2:05] Speaker 2: we back good again. You know, we done did this
[2:07] Speaker 2: enough times to where we kind of got a good,
[2:10] Speaker 2: you know, a good schedule, a good routine. So we
[2:13] Speaker 2: usually good. Yeah, we usually good little flow. You know
[2:16] Speaker 2: what I mean?
[2:17] Speaker 1: Do you like the schedule and the hustle and bustle
[2:20] Speaker 1: of taking kids to school, waking up, getting, you know,
[2:24] Speaker 1: the whole thing?
[2:25] Speaker 2: You know what? I do. I do. In a weird way,
[2:29] Speaker 2: I guess, because it's like, of course, you would rather
[2:32] Speaker 2: have slept that extra 20 minutes or hour. You know
[2:35] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Like, whatever. But at the same time,
[2:38] Speaker 2: when I'm in a car with my kids and, like,
[2:40] Speaker 2: having those moments, like, talking to them, kicking it with them,
[2:42] Speaker 2: listening to music with them, and I'm, like, a part
[2:46] Speaker 2: of their day outside of just being, like, you know,
[2:48] Speaker 2: their dad, like, at home and shit. Like, we got
[2:50] Speaker 2: something else. So I do enjoy it. I know that
[2:53] Speaker 2: might sound like some PC answer. like i just love
[2:57] Speaker 2: every you know it's not that yeah yeah but but
[3:01] Speaker 2: but it's this this is genuinely what it looks like
[3:04] Speaker 2: when you like your.
[3:06] Speaker 1: Kids and oh you said it oh you said it
[3:09] Speaker 1: you know i mean.
[3:10] Speaker 2: Like i like i genuinely like my kids and enjoy
[3:13] Speaker 2: being around them because like they're sweet kids like they're
[3:15] Speaker 2: they're nice kids i'm not just saying it because they're
[3:17] Speaker 2: my kids like this is just.
[3:18] Speaker 1: What it is um this is this is a little
[3:21] Speaker 1: bit just a.
[3:22] Speaker 2: Little tad um but nah, I do enjoy it. I'm
[3:25] Speaker 2: not going to lie to you. Like it, um, and
[3:27] Speaker 2: it also gives you, it gives you like something to
[3:30] Speaker 2: do as a parent because like every day your kids
[3:33] Speaker 2: are getting older, they're getting more independent. And while you
[3:36] Speaker 2: can do things for them, you should take advantage and
[3:38] Speaker 2: enjoy that. They're like letting you do things for them.
[3:42] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Um, so it's, it's, it's
[3:45] Speaker 2: part of that too. But I, but I do, uh,
[3:47] Speaker 2: I do enjoy it. I do.
[3:48] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[3:49] Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that structure. For those who may not know,
[3:53] Speaker 1: I'm dealing with, you know, some family stuff with my mom.
[3:57] Speaker 1: About 18 months ago, my mom had a brain aneurysm
[4:00] Speaker 1: and she lives over in North Carolina. So my life
[4:03] Speaker 1: was just kind of like flip upside down where I
[4:05] Speaker 1: took a lot of time to, you know, spend with her,
[4:08] Speaker 1: help her, you know, get her health back together. And
[4:12] Speaker 1: I'm advocating for her.
[4:14] Speaker 2: Shout out to mom, too, because she's strong. I want
[4:16] Speaker 2: to say that. I didn't want to cut you off.
[4:17] Speaker 1: That's my lady.
[4:18] Speaker 2: She's very strong, man. Very strong, very beautiful. Please give
[4:21] Speaker 2: her a kiss on the cheek when you see her.
[4:23] Speaker 1: I will. I will. Yes. And it really kind of
[4:28] Speaker 1: just shook my whole life up. Like, I didn't have
[4:32] Speaker 1: any structure to my day, to my week. People were like, hey,
[4:36] Speaker 1: next week I'll be in Vegas. Like, let's go hang out.
[4:38] Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't know where I'm going to be. Like,
[4:40] Speaker 1: anything could happen where I got to pick up. and
[4:43] Speaker 1: go across the country to be with my lady. But
[4:46] Speaker 1: when my son goes back to school, it gives me structure.
[4:50] Speaker 1: I wake up at this time, I get him together. Well,
[4:54] Speaker 1: actually he's at the point where he's like doing his
[4:56] Speaker 1: own thing in the morning. I've got him an alarm clock.
[4:59] Speaker 1: He gets up and gets his day started. But taking
[5:02] Speaker 1: him to school and it's like, okay, now I'm up.
[5:05] Speaker 1: Now I can take care of some things. And I've
[5:07] Speaker 1: gotten into this great routine of using my mornings to
[5:11] Speaker 1: take care of myself. I work out. I go for
[5:14] Speaker 1: a walk. I just have a very slow and easy morning.
[5:19] Speaker 1: And I think it's something very beautiful about that, being
[5:22] Speaker 1: able to just have some structure.
[5:25] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[5:26] Speaker 1: You know, with things being so, like, chaotic at times,
[5:30] Speaker 1: it's nice to have something very routine to, like, calm
[5:33] Speaker 1: my brain and my nerves. Like, my nervous system is like,
[5:36] Speaker 1: can we just, like, not do anything this week? But
[5:40] Speaker 1: now that Prince is back in school, it's like, now
[5:44] Speaker 1: I can get back into a nice schedule, a nice
[5:46] Speaker 1: groove of things. So I actually, I appreciate, I appreciate it. Now,
[5:51] Speaker 1: by the time the end of the year comes along,
[5:53] Speaker 1: I'm like, oh. I feel like parents should receive a
[5:58] Speaker 1: medal or something, like a free mortgage or rent or something. Like, wow,
[6:02] Speaker 1: you have been taking your kids to school every day.
[6:06] Speaker 1: You making sure that they're good. Homework is done.
[6:09] Speaker 2: They need to put Duolingo in charge of giving out
[6:12] Speaker 2: medals and shit. You know what I mean? Because they're
[6:14] Speaker 2: going to let you know when you're on the street
[6:16] Speaker 2: and when you've been doing something good. Wait, are you
[6:18] Speaker 2: using Duolingo? I am.
[6:20] Speaker 3: I am.
[6:21] Speaker 2: What are you doing? Not as much as I should be. Spanish. Spanish.
[6:23] Speaker 2: I'm not using it as much as I should be,
[6:25] Speaker 2: and they remind me every time they get a chance to.
[6:27] Speaker 2: But I am 100%, you know what I mean? But, yeah, no.
[6:32] Speaker 2: The end of the year, I'm damn near happier than
[6:36] Speaker 2: the kids are. What? Like, you know, they be like, yeah,
[6:40] Speaker 2: you know, we about to, you know, getting out of
[6:42] Speaker 2: school soon. And I'm in there like, you got to
[6:45] Speaker 2: tell me.
[6:45] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[6:46] Speaker 2: Trust me. I've been looking at what's the last day
[6:48] Speaker 2: of school since the first day of school. Okay. You
[6:51] Speaker 2: got to tell me, man. May, June.
[6:54] Speaker 1: All right. Graduation.
[6:55] Speaker 2: Okay.
[6:56] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[6:57] Speaker 2: Let's get it done.
[6:58] Speaker 1: And speaking of, actually, I got to get my son
[7:02] Speaker 1: together tomorrow. It's picture day. You know, what's up with
[7:05] Speaker 1: these schools just like letting you know about shit last minute?
[7:09] Speaker 2: They don't ever let us know until the morning of,
[7:11] Speaker 2: damn near.
[7:12] Speaker 1: With the ease of communication, it shouldn't be like that.
[7:16] Speaker 1: Like you should be able to send an email at
[7:18] Speaker 1: least two weeks in advance. Like, hey, just to let
[7:21] Speaker 1: you know. Or put it on the calendar. Y'all know
[7:24] Speaker 1: when we going to have picture day. Like, make sure
[7:26] Speaker 1: we send our kids to school.
[7:28] Speaker 2: Looking at home. You know what it is, too? They
[7:30] Speaker 2: should definitely let you know at least two weeks in
[7:31] Speaker 2: advance because we got to get haircuts booked. We got
[7:34] Speaker 2: to get hair done and, you know, get an outfit
[7:38] Speaker 2: picked out and all that. But especially when you're talking about, like,
[7:40] Speaker 2: the hair. You know what I'm saying?
[7:41] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[7:42] Speaker 2: It's not just that easy to just say, oh, yeah,
[7:46] Speaker 2: need a haircut tomorrow. Let me go get one. No. Like,
[7:48] Speaker 2: I got to open up an app. I got to
[7:50] Speaker 2: make sure that he got this appointment. Then I got
[7:52] Speaker 2: to double check and make sure I'm good and all
[7:55] Speaker 2: of that. So at least two weeks, don't let me
[7:56] Speaker 2: know the night before, like, Oh, matter.
[7:59] Speaker 1: Of fact, you know, what bothers me about pitcher day
[8:03] Speaker 1: now is that they want you to pay before you
[8:05] Speaker 1: see the pictures. Now, what is that shit?
[8:08] Speaker 2: It doesn't make sense to me. It does not make
[8:10] Speaker 2: sense to me, dog. Like there's no way that means
[8:13] Speaker 2: that you're going to, that means that you are being
[8:15] Speaker 2: given the green light to slack inequality because you're You
[8:19] Speaker 2: already got the money. You don't really have, like, the
[8:22] Speaker 2: incentive to, like, make sure that this is, you know,
[8:26] Speaker 2: A1 shit. Like, nah, don't.
[8:28] Speaker 1: Nah.
[8:28] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[8:30] Speaker 1: Was your family, like, really big into your school pictures?
[8:33] Speaker 2: Definitely.
[8:34] Speaker 1: Did they buy them, like, every year and all that?
[8:35] Speaker 2: They were definitely, like, they was buying, like, the, maybe, like,
[8:40] Speaker 2: the first package, whatever, like, the basic, like, package was.
[8:43] Speaker 2: Because all the rest of this shit, it was like, dog,
[8:45] Speaker 2: you're not about to charge me, a bunch of more
[8:48] Speaker 2: money for a bunch of more pictures that I'm just not,
[8:50] Speaker 2: that I'm just keeping this big ass envelope and shit.
[8:52] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Like we're not doing all that.
[8:54] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? So, but they definitely was
[8:56] Speaker 2: into it. Definitely made sure I had my haircut. I
[8:58] Speaker 2: was rocking the fade back then when I was, when
[9:00] Speaker 2: I was younger, I was rocking the fade, like, like T.I.,
[9:03] Speaker 2: like the old T.I. shit.
[9:05] Speaker 1: Okay.
[9:05] Speaker 2: Wow.
[9:06] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[9:06] Speaker 2: Like that. Feel me? But yeah, in fact, I used
[9:09] Speaker 2: to love that shit, man. I did. It was a
[9:10] Speaker 2: whole big thing in school. It was like you, um
[9:14] Speaker 2: it wasn't like a regular day at school like you
[9:15] Speaker 2: go to class and all that yeah but like.
[9:17] Speaker 1: Special absolutely oh my god now I think about my
[9:21] Speaker 1: kindergarten picture which my mom would just cry laughing at
[9:26] Speaker 1: because she decided that she my mom was like the
[9:29] Speaker 1: family hairstylist she could do anything she could braid so
[9:32] Speaker 1: it was always somebody at the house sitting in the
[9:34] Speaker 1: kitchen getting their hair braided or getting a relaxer or
[9:37] Speaker 1: whatever they got But my mom decided she was going
[9:39] Speaker 1: to cut me some bangs for kindergarten. Oh, I'm pretty
[9:44] Speaker 1: sure when she sent me off to school, I looked great.
[9:48] Speaker 1: But my class had P.E. right before picture time. So, yeah,
[9:54] Speaker 1: I was looking mad disheveled.
[9:56] Speaker 2: Yeah, I can imagine how that went.
[9:59] Speaker 1: I was looking so crazy.
[10:01] Speaker 2: Looking like you probably got into a fight up there.
[10:03] Speaker 1: No, dead ass. And I'm missing teeth. I look raggedy
[10:06] Speaker 1: as hell. But my mom bought them because it's like,
[10:09] Speaker 1: it's her kindergarten picture. Yeah, yeah.
[10:11] Speaker 2: No, it is what it is. It's a good story,
[10:12] Speaker 2: if anything.
[10:13] Speaker 1: You just got to. You know what? I'll post the
[10:15] Speaker 1: photo if you're watching on YouTube. You can check it out.
[10:19] Speaker 1: You can check it out. And, Mari, I want you
[10:21] Speaker 1: to send me some pictures.
[10:22] Speaker 2: Of you when you was a kid. I'm going to
[10:25] Speaker 2: send you some, man.
[10:25] Speaker 1: Gather some photos.
[10:27] Speaker 2: I would love to see. I had to show my
[10:29] Speaker 2: son some recently. He asked me to, like, show him
[10:32] Speaker 2: some pictures of me when I was a kid. And
[10:34] Speaker 2: I said it to him. He said, you look like me.
[10:36] Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, you look like me.
[10:41] Speaker 1: Yeah. But, yeah, this summer– Like, even though I'm happy,
[10:45] Speaker 1: you know, the kids are back in school. It's just
[10:47] Speaker 1: like this summer in particular was a very interesting one.
[10:54] Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're back home and that he's in school.
[10:56] Speaker 1: We spent the summer in North Carolina. But after we
[11:01] Speaker 1: got back from North Carolina, we went out to Tanzania
[11:03] Speaker 1: and that's where my son's dad is from. And so
[11:07] Speaker 1: we went out there for the first time for him.
[11:10] Speaker 1: It was my second time going out there. But just
[11:13] Speaker 1: going out there just to be able to spend time
[11:17] Speaker 1: with his dad and his dad's side of the family.
[11:19] Speaker 1: And low key, I call my son Killmonger because when
[11:24] Speaker 1: you think about Black Panther, for those who've seen it,
[11:27] Speaker 1: you got Killmonger who has a black African-American mom. And
[11:31] Speaker 1: then he has an African dad, but being able to
[11:34] Speaker 1: know where your dad's family is from, like that's where
[11:38] Speaker 1: they're from. They come with culture and traditions and all
[11:41] Speaker 1: the things, but here in America is like, I can
[11:45] Speaker 1: trace my family back to like South Carolina. And that's
[11:48] Speaker 1: just about as far as I can go. And I
[11:50] Speaker 1: haven't done any like ancestry type testing, but I'm pretty
[11:54] Speaker 1: sure I have like some West African, you know, lineage there.
[11:58] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[11:59] Speaker 1: But, you know, of course, it's been jumbled up intentionally
[12:04] Speaker 1: so that we don't know where we come from. But
[12:06] Speaker 1: I just love being able to take him to Africa,
[12:10] Speaker 1: to East Africa, and for him to see the culture,
[12:13] Speaker 1: hear the language, just be immersed in everything that was
[12:17] Speaker 1: going on out there. It was such a beautiful experience.
[12:20] Speaker 1: We did not want to come back.
[12:23] Speaker 2: It looked like y'all was having fun.
[12:25] Speaker 1: Well, we had a time.
[12:27] Speaker 2: You're posting in the, you know, like when y'all outside,
[12:30] Speaker 2: y'all amongst the animals and all this, and I'm seeing
[12:33] Speaker 2: the sky, and I'm seeing, I'm like, oh, this shit
[12:35] Speaker 2: looking crazy.
[12:37] Speaker 1: It was the most beautiful experience. And I'm telling you, Americans,
[12:43] Speaker 1: they don't want you to know how beautiful Africa is.
[12:45] Speaker 1: It's been a bunch of propaganda over decades that's been
[12:49] Speaker 1: saying that, oh, Africa is just huts and ruins.
[12:52] Speaker 2: Right, right, right, right, yeah. It is the most beautiful place.
[12:56] Speaker 2: Like a joke and shit, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.
[13:01] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[13:01] Speaker 2: Nas didn't want to go there for no reason, bro. Like,
[13:03] Speaker 2: Nas didn't want to go to Africa with his lady
[13:05] Speaker 2: for perhaps, you know, come on.
[13:07] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[13:08] Speaker 2: You know.
[13:10] Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it was, we went to Zanzibar, which is
[13:13] Speaker 1: an island. We're in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
[13:17] Speaker 1: Weather's perfect. It's like 85 degrees. Sun's out. Sun's out,
[13:23] Speaker 1: bun's out. Because I'm like, look, I'm putting on my... Like,
[13:27] Speaker 1: I don't care whose children, they're going to see some
[13:29] Speaker 1: cheeks today.
[13:30] Speaker 2: Hey, man, fuck it. Let it all hang out. Look, okay?
[13:36] Speaker 1: Because even his dad was kind of like, hmm, getting
[13:39] Speaker 1: a little wet. Yes, I have.
[13:40] Speaker 2: Show me it. Trying to get involved with that Ryan
[13:44] Speaker 2: Coogler voice. That boy Ryan Coogler said, yeah, I got
[13:49] Speaker 2: involved with that.
[13:50] Speaker 1: He was like, get the mix and match.
[13:53] Speaker 3: Mix and match.
[13:53] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[13:55] Speaker 1: But yeah, like being out there was just so great.
[13:58] Speaker 1: And also just the food and everything that's, you know,
[14:01] Speaker 1: going on in America with lettuce being contaminated.
[14:05] Speaker 2: Man, all the berries and everything.
[14:06] Speaker 1: I'm like, what the hell? But being able to go
[14:09] Speaker 1: out there and just eat fresh food, everything was just incredible.
[14:14] Speaker 1: Everything was so fulfilling. That's beautiful. And even Prince, who
[14:18] Speaker 1: has like a million food allergies, he was down to
[14:21] Speaker 1: try whatever that he could eat. So he's having sour sop. We,
[14:26] Speaker 1: you know, see somebody selling May street corn on the
[14:29] Speaker 1: side of the road. We're going to pull up. We're
[14:30] Speaker 1: going to get that. Like, we just had an incredible time.
[14:35] Speaker 1: But we definitely deserved it after the summer in North
[14:38] Speaker 1: Carolina that we had because, wow.
[14:42] Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.
[14:43] Speaker 1: Wow.
[14:45] Speaker 2: I thought it was super dope when I was seeing
[14:46] Speaker 2: you post about it. I was just like, man, even
[14:49] Speaker 2: just knowing, me knowing you personally and me knowing what
[14:51] Speaker 2: you got going on and all that, to see you
[14:53] Speaker 2: out there, to see you smiling and all that sun
[14:56] Speaker 2: and all them blue skies and all that, it was
[14:58] Speaker 2: dope to just see it. You know what I mean?
[14:59] Speaker 2: Because I know, I can only imagine the feeling that
[15:02] Speaker 2: you had being out there. You know what I mean? Oh, man.
[15:05] Speaker 1: It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. However,
[15:09] Speaker 1: when it was time to come back to the States-
[15:11] Speaker 1: Every time I would look to see what time my
[15:13] Speaker 1: flight was boarding or whatever, I just felt the weight returning.
[15:17] Speaker 1: And I'm dreading coming back. The anxiety started to build.
[15:22] Speaker 1: When I was there, I just didn't feel like I
[15:25] Speaker 1: should go back. Now, before my mom even fell ill,
[15:31] Speaker 1: I had been preparing myself to leave this country. So
[15:35] Speaker 1: I was getting things in order, like, you know, get
[15:37] Speaker 1: my son's passport together. And I wanted us to travel
[15:40] Speaker 1: and see like what country would be dope for us
[15:43] Speaker 1: to go to. Tanzania was on the list, but I
[15:45] Speaker 1: just wanted to go and see how things were because
[15:48] Speaker 1: it's been 12 years since I had been. Well, over
[15:50] Speaker 1: 12 years. So a lot has changed the infrastructure, more roads,
[15:55] Speaker 1: you know, condos and just beautiful places. beautiful places to
[15:59] Speaker 1: live like the homes having beach ocean views and not
[16:03] Speaker 1: charging an arm and a leg and like right because
[16:06] Speaker 1: every i honestly and i say this and i know
[16:09] Speaker 1: my friends who i talk to daily they may be
[16:12] Speaker 1: tired of me saying this but like everything here in
[16:15] Speaker 1: america is a scam hell yeah top to bottom everything
[16:20] Speaker 1: is a scam the way everything operates out here is
[16:24] Speaker 1: some bull it's so unnecessarily complicated. Yeah.
[16:29] Speaker 2: Like anything, anything you can think of.
[16:33] Speaker 1: Literally everything from grocery prices to fuel, to housing, to school.
[16:40] Speaker 1: Like it's so much like, of course you, you want
[16:43] Speaker 1: to encourage your children to get an education after, um,
[16:47] Speaker 1: you know, they graduate from high school, but it's like,
[16:49] Speaker 1: you're going to be spending a lot of money unless,
[16:52] Speaker 1: you know, your children get scholarships, but you're going to
[16:54] Speaker 1: be spending a lot of money, uh, for a job
[16:57] Speaker 1: that's not even guaranteed. Yeah.
[16:59] Speaker 2: And then you're going to end up with a degree
[17:01] Speaker 2: in most people's cases that like you can't go and
[17:04] Speaker 2: do anything with right now. You know what I'm saying?
[17:06] Speaker 2: But the only thing you've been told, go to school,
[17:09] Speaker 2: go to college, go get a degree. You know what
[17:11] Speaker 2: I mean? And so it's like, if you've been told this,
[17:14] Speaker 2: it's not your fault for telling your children this. It's
[17:16] Speaker 2: just that when you get older and like you look
[17:18] Speaker 2: at the times today and you say, damn, I should have,
[17:21] Speaker 2: not even like I should have, but that's the natural
[17:23] Speaker 2: thing to say. Like I should have been telling them
[17:25] Speaker 2: to do this. But now that you know it, now
[17:27] Speaker 2: you can apply this and tell them, okay, let's go
[17:29] Speaker 2: in this direction now. You know what I'm saying? Because
[17:31] Speaker 2: we got a lot of people out here that went
[17:32] Speaker 2: to school, spent a lot of money, spent a lot
[17:34] Speaker 2: of time, a lot of energy, and you ask them
[17:37] Speaker 2: what they got a degree in, and it does not
[17:38] Speaker 2: match the job that they have. You know what I'm saying?
[17:40] Speaker 2: And it's like, it shouldn't be that way. Like, it
[17:42] Speaker 2: really shouldn't be that way. We should be learning about credit, debt,
[17:48] Speaker 2: you know, just financial literacy. We should be learning about
[17:51] Speaker 2: that in middle school, pretty much. High school, it should
[17:55] Speaker 2: be mandatory that every single year you got a class
[17:58] Speaker 2: in some type of finance and every year maybe it
[18:00] Speaker 2: goes up a level or something like that. But the
[18:02] Speaker 2: fact that it isn't and the fact that that's not
[18:04] Speaker 2: what's pushed to you tells you a lot about what
[18:07] Speaker 2: you need to know.
[18:08] Speaker 1: Yeah. Yep. I honestly was just thinking about this the
[18:12] Speaker 1: other night. I feel like government, our country fumbled our
[18:17] Speaker 1: generation so bad. If you think about it, Mari, think
[18:21] Speaker 1: about this. The D.A.R.E. program alone. Say no to drugs.
[18:25] Speaker 1: Like we are in the middle. We were in the
[18:27] Speaker 1: middle at that time of like, we were seeing like
[18:30] Speaker 1: crackheads like outside. We were just like a generation removed
[18:35] Speaker 1: from like folks being on heroin real bad. And then
[18:40] Speaker 1: they come in with this, you know, war on drugs
[18:43] Speaker 1: and you know, they're cracking down on people who are
[18:45] Speaker 1: selling and in possession of, of things sent a lot
[18:50] Speaker 1: of family members to prisons and, you know, for decades.
[18:55] Speaker 2: Yes.
[18:56] Speaker 1: But they scared us into, like, don't do drugs. I
[19:00] Speaker 1: don't know anyone in my generation that even tried crack,
[19:05] Speaker 1: let alone smoke cigarettes or anything, you know what I mean? Like,
[19:08] Speaker 1: anything like that. The most that our generation will really
[19:12] Speaker 1: do is get drunk out of their minds. Like, alcohol,
[19:15] Speaker 1: they're going to push that on everybody until they can't anymore.
[19:18] Speaker 2: Yep.
[19:19] Speaker 1: But... Okay, so they kept us from doing drugs. Great.
[19:23] Speaker 1: They said, hey, you go to school, you get good grades,
[19:26] Speaker 1: you go to college, you get a degree, and you go,
[19:30] Speaker 1: you get a good job, you find your person, you
[19:33] Speaker 1: start a family, you buy a house, and you live
[19:36] Speaker 1: happily ever after.
[19:37] Speaker 2: Right.
[19:38] Speaker 1: And it's like, we did not get a chance to
[19:41] Speaker 1: live that experience at all. They really fumbled us so bad.
[19:47] Speaker 1: When 9-11 happened, they had us so fired up and
[19:53] Speaker 1: charged up to defend this country. I know so many
[19:57] Speaker 1: people that ended up enlisting into the military to go
[20:01] Speaker 1: and fight for this country.
[20:03] Speaker 2: Look at when the USA men's basketball team plays. We
[20:09] Speaker 2: all in the Joel Santana American flag outfit every single
[20:14] Speaker 2: time the U.S. men's basketball team play. Every single time.
[20:17] Speaker 1: Yes.
[20:17] Speaker 2: And I'm saying that because that's the only time that
[20:21] Speaker 2: you look around and you look at your fellow American
[20:23] Speaker 2: as your fellow American. It's like when something happens on
[20:26] Speaker 2: that type of level. But it's like, it shouldn't take
[20:29] Speaker 2: that for this to be like a... you know, a,
[20:34] Speaker 2: like a real society where it's like, yo, we can
[20:36] Speaker 2: just help each other and we can just, you know,
[20:37] Speaker 2: you know, whatever. Yeah. But shit like this happened.
[20:41] Speaker 1: We were really like fired up to like, okay, when
[20:44] Speaker 1: we become adults, we're going to do what we need
[20:47] Speaker 1: to do to, you know, be upstanding American citizens. And,
[20:51] Speaker 1: you know, we were really hyped up. And so a
[20:55] Speaker 1: lot of us, we graduated high school, went off to
[20:58] Speaker 1: college and, And around, I'd say, between 2006 to 2009,
[21:05] Speaker 1: everything changed. With the recession that we went through.
[21:09] Speaker 2: Listen.
[21:10] Speaker 1: They fumbled us so bad.
[21:14] Speaker 2: Listen, man.
[21:14] Speaker 1: And we have not been able to catch our breath since.
[21:18] Speaker 2: Yeah, because around that time, you got to remember, like,
[21:20] Speaker 2: that's 06 to 09. I was 18 in 06, right? 2009,
[21:22] Speaker 2: I'm 21. So, like, I'm still just, like, still growing up, like, young,
[21:33] Speaker 2: trying to just, like, figure other things out while, like,
[21:35] Speaker 2: the world is, like, moving super fast, like, around you.
[21:39] Speaker 2: It's like you still trying to figure out just life and, like,
[21:42] Speaker 2: what's your next step and, you know what I'm saying? Like,
[21:45] Speaker 2: what's the next step? Because that's a very interesting period
[21:48] Speaker 2: of life from 18 to 21 because 18 to 21-year-olds now,
[21:53] Speaker 2: I think, are damn near, like, 16-year-olds in this generation. Yeah.
[21:57] Speaker 2: And when we were younger, 18 to 21, I was
[22:00] Speaker 2: around people who had cars, they had apartments, they had,
[22:03] Speaker 2: you know, like, it was just a more, the sense
[22:06] Speaker 2: of urgency was there. Like, to, you know, have your
[22:09] Speaker 2: own and be doing this and, you know, just whatever.
[22:11] Speaker 2: Like you said, that recession, it changed everything. And it
[22:16] Speaker 2: changed people's perspective on shit. Like, hold on. Like, now
[22:20] Speaker 2: we are in survival mode, 100% now. So, yeah.
[22:24] Speaker 1: And see, with me being in North Carolina, which is
[22:26] Speaker 1: known for furniture and tobacco and all these different industries,
[22:31] Speaker 1: around 2007, a lot of the furniture markets were sent overseas.
[22:36] Speaker 1: So a lot of your furniture is now being made
[22:39] Speaker 1: in China. And so all of these furniture factories, I'm
[22:42] Speaker 1: from Lexington, Lexington, North Carolina, which is, they have their
[22:45] Speaker 1: own furniture brand. A lot of folks across this country
[22:49] Speaker 1: have furniture that says Lexington Furniture on the inside of it.
[22:52] Speaker 1: very sturdy because my mom worked in that industry. I
[22:56] Speaker 1: had aunts and uncles who worked in those industries. And
[22:59] Speaker 1: when those jobs were sent overseas, people lost their entire livelihood.
[23:04] Speaker 1: So here I am coming out of college looking for
[23:07] Speaker 1: a job, but I can't find anywhere to work because
[23:09] Speaker 1: so many people got laid off and now they're taking
[23:12] Speaker 1: all the jobs of the 18 to 22 year olds
[23:16] Speaker 1: because they have more work experience. And it's like, so
[23:18] Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? Do you know what
[23:20] Speaker 1: I did? I took my ass down to the club
[23:23] Speaker 1: and started bartending because in a recession, people are still
[23:28] Speaker 1: trying to have fun and get drunk and forget their
[23:31] Speaker 1: worries and cares. I made so much money in tips.
[23:34] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[23:35] Speaker 5: What?
[23:37] Speaker 1: Especially during this time. The hits on the radio encourage drinking.
[23:42] Speaker 1: So you got T-Pain, bartender, buy you a drink.
[23:45] Speaker 2: Buy you a drink. Ooh.
[23:47] Speaker 1: Blame it on the alcohol, pop champagne.
[23:50] Speaker 2: Like it was crazy. T-Pain might've did, he might've did
[23:55] Speaker 2: wonders for the bars and all this kind of shit
[23:58] Speaker 2: to this day. Not even just might have done, like
[24:00] Speaker 2: to this day.
[24:01] Speaker 1: So many men would come to the bar just to
[24:04] Speaker 1: flirt with me because the song is on. Like, oh,
[24:06] Speaker 1: I like the bartender. Oh yeah, I'm with, She made
[24:08] Speaker 1: me a Long Island, so I'm going to go over
[24:10] Speaker 1: there and fuck with her. Like, okay, yeah, come over.
[24:13] Speaker 1: And I have my, you know, tips and tricks on
[24:15] Speaker 1: how to make drinks strong. They'd be like, yeah, don't
[24:18] Speaker 1: put so much ice in my drink, you know, like
[24:20] Speaker 1: make mine strong. And I'm like, I got you. What
[24:23] Speaker 1: I would do is pour a little bit of Bacardi
[24:27] Speaker 1: 151 down the straw. So they come and take that
[24:32] Speaker 1: first sip. They're like, oh, okay. And I didn't do
[24:35] Speaker 1: anything but put like a little, but every time.
[24:38] Speaker 2: Got paid that first sip oh my goodness i don't
[24:43] Speaker 2: even think.
[24:43] Speaker 1: They sell that anymore but yeah that like i i
[24:46] Speaker 1: found i found my ways to you know work around
[24:50] Speaker 1: it but then when i realized like yeah they really
[24:53] Speaker 1: like scammed us because they told us to do the
[24:56] Speaker 1: thing to get this result and then we did the
[24:59] Speaker 1: thing but and we did not.
[25:01] Speaker 2: Get it here's the here's the the uh i guess
[25:04] Speaker 2: an equally as big failure They didn't tell a lot
[25:08] Speaker 2: of people who weren't going to college how to figure
[25:12] Speaker 2: it out. They didn't tell people who, like, when things
[25:14] Speaker 2: went left. Because I'm going to keep it real with you.
[25:16] Speaker 2: Full transparency. My brother got killed when I was 17
[25:21] Speaker 2: years old, right? I didn't finish high school after that.
[25:25] Speaker 2: Because I went to school, I had a conversation with
[25:28] Speaker 2: my mother. Like, when it, you know, right after it happened,
[25:32] Speaker 2: we were, and to use a term I heard from
[25:34] Speaker 2: Tony Baker just earlier today, We were at ground zero
[25:38] Speaker 2: of this shit, right? Like, it had just happened. It
[25:42] Speaker 2: was fresh, and it was something that was, like, you know,
[25:44] Speaker 2: my brother to anybody who knew my brother, anybody that
[25:47] Speaker 2: knows me, like, you know, like, what my brother meant
[25:49] Speaker 2: to me, what he will always mean to me. And
[25:52] Speaker 2: at that moment of my life where, like, when I
[25:55] Speaker 2: tell you I was legitimately, like, excited to be about
[25:58] Speaker 2: to turn 18 and be looked at as, like, an
[26:00] Speaker 2: adult by my brother so, like, we can enter this
[26:02] Speaker 2: next step and, like, this stage in our, like, Just
[26:07] Speaker 2: our life together. Yeah, in our relationship where it's like, yo,
[26:11] Speaker 2: we can have these kind of conversations. And it's not
[26:13] Speaker 2: like we was having some bubble gum conversations before that.
[26:15] Speaker 2: We was having real conversations. But it's like, no, we
[26:18] Speaker 2: can have a different type of conversation now. You know
[26:20] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? We can really do this. And all
[26:22] Speaker 2: of that shit got taken away from not just me,
[26:24] Speaker 2: but everybody in the family. I went to school one day,
[26:28] Speaker 2: like one more day after it happened and shit. And
[26:31] Speaker 2: I remember feeling so out of place. And I felt
[26:34] Speaker 2: like I couldn't even hear people. the right way. And
[26:37] Speaker 2: I was just like, this is not even, I was like, yeah,
[26:40] Speaker 2: I don't, I don't feel comfortable in this. You know
[26:44] Speaker 2: what I mean? And I had a conversation with my mom.
[26:46] Speaker 2: She was like, well, we'll figure it out. You know
[26:48] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Like, if this is, you know, this
[26:50] Speaker 2: is how you feel. I can't, I can't tell you
[26:52] Speaker 2: how to feel. I can't, we all still trying to
[26:53] Speaker 2: figure this shit out. Um, but I say all that
[26:56] Speaker 2: because my story, whether you're, whether like your reason was
[27:00] Speaker 2: the same or not for anybody that's listening, like if
[27:03] Speaker 2: you didn't finish high school for whatever reason, I find
[27:06] Speaker 2: myself in a better position now, way better position now
[27:10] Speaker 2: than I was back then when I was trying to
[27:11] Speaker 2: figure it out. And this is without a college degree.
[27:15] Speaker 2: But I had to figure that out for myself. It
[27:17] Speaker 2: wasn't laid out for me because nobody was telling the
[27:20] Speaker 2: people who took an alternate path or because like you
[27:23] Speaker 2: might have became a mom young. You might have became
[27:26] Speaker 2: the head of your household young. You might have been
[27:28] Speaker 2: whatever it was that was going on in your family.
[27:30] Speaker 2: Something might have changed and you might have had to
[27:31] Speaker 2: grow up super quick. whereas the person that lived down
[27:34] Speaker 2: the street from you got a chance to have the
[27:37] Speaker 2: full teenager experience. You might have had to grow up
[27:39] Speaker 2: real quick, and life came at you faster, but nobody
[27:41] Speaker 2: tells you what's the next step. And then when they
[27:43] Speaker 2: do tell you, it's like, okay, well, help me. How
[27:45] Speaker 2: do I get there? And so I had to figure
[27:48] Speaker 2: a lot of these things out for myself. But that
[27:52] Speaker 2: right there, if people were given the tools on a
[27:56] Speaker 2: large level, because I'm sure there's people that was helping
[27:59] Speaker 2: people out that had the information, but if that information
[28:01] Speaker 2: was readily available, For people who took an alternate path.
[28:04] Speaker 1: Man, what?
[28:06] Speaker 2: It would have been a lot better off.
[28:08] Speaker 1: Look, I remember when I was in school, I was taking,
[28:10] Speaker 1: in high school, I was taking AP classes and all
[28:12] Speaker 1: the things. And I remember one of my good friends,
[28:15] Speaker 1: she was going to a different high school across town.
[28:18] Speaker 1: And she graduated a semester early. And I was like,
[28:21] Speaker 1: that's a thing?
[28:22] Speaker 2: You can do that?
[28:23] Speaker 1: Like, you can graduate in December and then start college
[28:26] Speaker 1: in January?
[28:27] Speaker 4: Right.
[28:28] Speaker 1: My mind was blown and I was so upset with
[28:30] Speaker 1: my counselors. Like they didn't present this information to us.
[28:34] Speaker 2: Right.
[28:35] Speaker 1: I went to a predominantly black school. It was called
[28:37] Speaker 1: an international school, but we just had children from everywhere.
[28:41] Speaker 1: But my home girl, she went to a more predominantly
[28:43] Speaker 1: white school. So she was given all of the information.
[28:47] Speaker 1: So I'm like, you don't have those resources to even
[28:50] Speaker 1: know what your options are.
[28:52] Speaker 2: Dog, the information I tell people all the time, man,
[28:54] Speaker 2: like I understand that like money, You know what I'm saying?
[28:58] Speaker 2: It's the thing that everybody is just pushing for. And
[29:01] Speaker 2: it's like, if you got the most money, you this,
[29:03] Speaker 2: you that. But information and resources, that shit is so valuable, dog.
[29:08] Speaker 2: Because if you don't know, you don't know. It's like
[29:10] Speaker 2: I've heard people who got a lot of money start
[29:14] Speaker 2: to be like, I didn't even know what to do
[29:15] Speaker 2: with it when I first got it. I didn't know
[29:16] Speaker 2: where to spend it. I didn't know what to, you
[29:18] Speaker 2: know what I mean? Because you don't know. You got
[29:19] Speaker 2: the money, but that doesn't buy you the information. You
[29:22] Speaker 2: still need the information, like where to go eat. What's
[29:25] Speaker 2: a good watch? What's considered a good pair of shoes?
[29:28] Speaker 2: What's considered, you know what I mean? Like just those
[29:30] Speaker 2: type of things. How to invest.
[29:31] Speaker 1: How to save. What type of credit card should you
[29:34] Speaker 1: get and what should you use the credit card for?
[29:36] Speaker 2: What type of account should I open up? Where should
[29:38] Speaker 2: I put my money so that I can make money
[29:39] Speaker 2: off of my money and all this type of shit.
[29:41] Speaker 2: Like if you don't have those resources, it's going to
[29:44] Speaker 2: be tough.
[29:45] Speaker 1: I'm going to be real with you. My dad, double
[29:47] Speaker 1: major from UNC Chapel Hill in economics and Spanish. Now
[29:54] Speaker 1: all my childhood, I can remember my dad always mailing
[29:57] Speaker 1: me like articles from like business insider and all these
[30:00] Speaker 1: different financial articles. And he would tell me like, yeah,
[30:03] Speaker 1: when I went to high school, when I went to college,
[30:05] Speaker 1: you know, people were like giving me all these forms.
[30:08] Speaker 1: Like if you want a free pizza sign, you know,
[30:11] Speaker 1: sign up for this credit card. And, you know, college
[30:13] Speaker 1: students are like, oh, yeah, free pizza. Sounds great.
[30:16] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[30:16] Speaker 1: And here they are. Now they got like a whole
[30:18] Speaker 1: credit card that they're responsible for. So he was giving
[30:21] Speaker 1: me the tools, but low key. And I told him,
[30:25] Speaker 1: I was like, you scared me when it came to finances.
[30:28] Speaker 1: Like I was like, what do you mean? Like credit
[30:31] Speaker 1: cards and the like, don't have credit cards because you're
[30:33] Speaker 1: going to be in this much debt. Cause he was like,
[30:35] Speaker 1: I had this credit card. I had a store department
[30:38] Speaker 1: store credit card. I had this kind of credit card.
[30:40] Speaker 1: And I'm like, Oh my God. So he honestly, he
[30:43] Speaker 1: kind of like scared me away from like those things,
[30:48] Speaker 1: which is, I mean, in the long run, it was cool,
[30:50] Speaker 1: but it was like, I started building my credit a
[30:53] Speaker 1: lot later than a lot of folks did because I
[30:56] Speaker 1: was so terrified.
[30:58] Speaker 2: Same, man. When you don't have the information, it's tough.
[31:02] Speaker 2: It's impossible. When you don't have the information, it's impossible
[31:05] Speaker 2: for you to start when somebody else started because they
[31:07] Speaker 2: might've had it. It's like now our kids will have
[31:09] Speaker 2: the information that, way earlier than I got it because, like,
[31:12] Speaker 2: it took me, you know, what's the J line? It
[31:15] Speaker 2: took me 26 years to find my craft. And you
[31:17] Speaker 2: know what I'm saying? So the only job, you know,
[31:19] Speaker 2: for you to cut it in half. It's like that's
[31:20] Speaker 2: the goal when it comes to being a parent because
[31:23] Speaker 2: it's like if I got the information at 35, that's
[31:26] Speaker 2: perfect for you because you get to have it at
[31:28] Speaker 2: 12 or whatever. You know what I'm saying? How old
[31:31] Speaker 2: you are. Like, you get to get it now. And
[31:33] Speaker 2: then when you become of age to, like, understand it,
[31:35] Speaker 2: I can help you to better understand it and to
[31:38] Speaker 2: apply it. Because now you have the resources. You know
[31:42] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? So, you know, not everybody grew up,
[31:45] Speaker 2: like in our era, in our community and shit, not
[31:48] Speaker 2: everybody grew up around with parents who have financial literacy. What?
[31:52] Speaker 2: Other than I know how to make money and pay
[31:54] Speaker 2: my bills and take care of this. But that's just survival.
[31:58] Speaker 2: That's not necessarily like. yo, pay for this on this card,
[32:01] Speaker 2: and this is how you earn this, and this is
[32:03] Speaker 2: how you get this. Nobody was taught that, for the
[32:06] Speaker 2: most part.
[32:07] Speaker 1: A lot of folks were not, and I remember getting
[32:09] Speaker 1: to college. Shout out to North Carolina A & T,
[32:11] Speaker 1: Aggie Pride. I had a roommate whose parents put her
[32:19] Speaker 1: on their credit card. She was an authorized user. And
[32:21] Speaker 1: so she was like, oh, yeah, I'm just building my credit.
[32:23] Speaker 1: I don't have access to it, but it's making my
[32:26] Speaker 1: credit look good because I'm on there. And I was like,
[32:29] Speaker 1: I beg your pardon.
[32:31] Speaker 2: No, for real. Like that's a thing. That's a thing.
[32:34] Speaker 1: So confused. But, you know, even after, you know, I
[32:37] Speaker 1: was done with college, I couldn't find, you know, a job.
[32:40] Speaker 1: I started bartending and then things just started getting even
[32:45] Speaker 1: more difficult with, you know, just being an adult, just
[32:50] Speaker 1: existing in this adult world. So I ended up moving
[32:53] Speaker 1: to Minnesota with my dad and I told him, I
[32:56] Speaker 1: was like, yo, Give me one year just to save
[33:00] Speaker 1: and do my thing. And then I'm out the way.
[33:03] Speaker 1: And so moved to Minnesota and I worked four jobs.
[33:08] Speaker 1: I remember, which is so crazy that I worked four jobs.
[33:13] Speaker 1: I literally had two full time jobs and two part
[33:15] Speaker 1: time jobs. I worked at Lifetime Fitness. Full time from
[33:21] Speaker 1: 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. And then across the street
[33:24] Speaker 1: from 3 p.m. to 11, I worked at a Holiday
[33:27] Speaker 1: Inn Express front desk.
[33:29] Speaker 2: I was getting to it.
[33:30] Speaker 1: Like 80 hours a week.
[33:31] Speaker 2: King's Tower type time.
[33:32] Speaker 1: Okay, I'm fancy. You feel me? And so... Whenever I
[33:39] Speaker 1: had a day off, I worked at Forever 21 at
[33:41] Speaker 1: Mall of America. I was with a modeling agency. And
[33:44] Speaker 1: every once in a while, I would get paid by
[33:46] Speaker 1: the clubs to bring in high-end clients. Whoever got a table,
[33:50] Speaker 1: I would get a percentage from it. So I was
[33:53] Speaker 1: working with folks like, oh, the Sixers in town. And
[33:56] Speaker 1: so I get to host Allen Iverson and Lou Williams.
[33:59] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
[34:01] Speaker 1: I was out in Minnesota hustling, just saving money, and
[34:05] Speaker 1: then when I got the opportunity to move out to Vegas.
[34:07] Speaker 1: But when I moved, and let me just tell you
[34:11] Speaker 1: something about family sometimes, especially when you're from a small town.
[34:16] Speaker 1: The fact that a lot of folks have just never
[34:18] Speaker 1: traveled and experienced the world and met people from other places,
[34:24] Speaker 1: they just can't comprehend that you would leave to go
[34:27] Speaker 1: somewhere And do anything other than just staying in your
[34:31] Speaker 1: hometown and just falling to the same BS that they're into. Man,
[34:37] Speaker 1: I had a family member who spread a rumor through
[34:40] Speaker 1: my family and through my hometown that I moved to
[34:43] Speaker 1: Minnesota so I could be a stripper. Oh, man. Mind you,
[34:47] Speaker 1: I just listed the four jobs that I was working. Now,
[34:51] Speaker 1: this is no shade to strippers. I love strippers. I
[34:53] Speaker 1: got stripper friends. I love going to the strip clubs
[34:57] Speaker 1: and having a great ass time. But I've never had
[34:59] Speaker 1: to do that. And so I just remember thinking, like,
[35:02] Speaker 1: that's just a real fucked up way to just discredit
[35:06] Speaker 1: me as a very hard worker.
[35:08] Speaker 2: I mean, especially because that wasn't your truth. Like you said,
[35:10] Speaker 2: no disrespect to anybody whose truth it was. It's not
[35:13] Speaker 2: meant to be like that. But it's like, that's not
[35:16] Speaker 2: what I did, though. So you lied on me. And
[35:20] Speaker 2: just said some shit that you thought was like derogatory.
[35:23] Speaker 2: And you put that on me. Like, why are you
[35:26] Speaker 2: putting that on me, dawg?
[35:27] Speaker 1: What 50 Cent say?
[35:28] Speaker 2: You say, fuck me for it. Yeah, like, damn, girl. No,
[35:31] Speaker 2: that's real. Wait.
[35:33] Speaker 1: And I just remember like moving and leaving and just
[35:36] Speaker 1: being able to look back at my family in a
[35:39] Speaker 1: different lens. Like, in a way, I escaped.
[35:44] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[35:44] Speaker 1: I got up out of there.
[35:46] Speaker 2: Man, listen, I feel like that a lot of times
[35:48] Speaker 2: about me moving down here to Georgia back in 2012 because,
[35:53] Speaker 2: and I had a conversation with one of my close homeboys,
[35:55] Speaker 2: rest in peace my man Juice. We had this conversation
[35:59] Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, man, I got like an opportunity,
[36:01] Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, like to go down there and,
[36:03] Speaker 2: you know, I'm talking to somebody, we getting kind of serious, whatever.
[36:06] Speaker 2: I was like, I'm thinking about going to visit. He
[36:07] Speaker 2: was like, yo, like, you know, you should like, yeah, go,
[36:11] Speaker 2: like you should do it. And I'm like, I was like, yeah,
[36:13] Speaker 2: but I don't want to leave the fam, you know,
[36:14] Speaker 2: the kid, this, that, and the third. And he was
[36:15] Speaker 2: just like, He was like, yeah, but look at it
[36:18] Speaker 2: like this, dog. You already know what's going on here. Like,
[36:20] Speaker 2: it ain't really nothing here. You giving your people somewhere
[36:23] Speaker 2: to come to now. Like, if you go down there,
[36:24] Speaker 2: they got somewhere to visit. They got somewhere to, you know,
[36:26] Speaker 2: to pull up, whatever. And he was like, you never know. Like,
[36:30] Speaker 2: if you go down there and you like it, like,
[36:32] Speaker 2: you know, what's the worst that could happen? You don't
[36:34] Speaker 2: like it and you come back? You know what I'm saying? Like,
[36:36] Speaker 2: you know, it is what it is. So I was
[36:37] Speaker 2: just like, yeah, you know what? Like, all right, I'm
[36:39] Speaker 2: going to put some serious thought into it. And I
[36:40] Speaker 2: did it. And to this day, like, My wife always
[36:44] Speaker 2: tells me to give myself more credit, and I'd love
[36:47] Speaker 2: to give myself more credit. But the truth is, I
[36:49] Speaker 2: don't know what I would have done if I didn't
[36:51] Speaker 2: move from Detroit when I did. I really don't know.
[36:54] Speaker 2: I like to think that I would have figured it out.
[36:56] Speaker 2: I like to think that I had enough resources one
[36:59] Speaker 2: way or another to where, like, you know, in enough sense,
[37:02] Speaker 2: enough critical thinking, and enough willpower to, like, make something happen.
[37:06] Speaker 2: But if you ask me what would I have been doing,
[37:08] Speaker 2: I don't know. I really don't know.
[37:10] Speaker 1: I feel you on that one.
[37:12] Speaker 2: So... You know, I'm happy it turned out how it did.
[37:16] Speaker 1: I don't think I would be alive had I not left.
[37:19] Speaker 2: Listen, and I believe you 100% because you got to
[37:23] Speaker 2: realize the environments that we come from and the things
[37:26] Speaker 2: that people were facing. Like, I'm born and raised Detroit,
[37:29] Speaker 2: Michigan State on the east side, state on the west side.
[37:31] Speaker 2: I never claimed to be like a street dude. I've
[37:34] Speaker 2: never been in the streets. I was close enough to
[37:36] Speaker 2: know what's going on. And a lot of my friends
[37:39] Speaker 2: that I grew up with were in them 100%. So...
[37:44] Speaker 2: When I say I would have figured it out, who
[37:45] Speaker 2: knows what that means? Who knows what that means? You
[37:49] Speaker 2: know what I'm saying? Because desperate times call for desperate measures.
[37:53] Speaker 2: And who knows if something was due or I got
[37:56] Speaker 2: to get to it real quick and I need to
[37:58] Speaker 2: go make this call. And I got people that would
[38:00] Speaker 2: be like, yo, you sure? Like, you want it? You
[38:04] Speaker 2: know what I'm saying? And that's how shit happens. So, yeah,
[38:08] Speaker 2: who knows, dog, for real.
[38:09] Speaker 1: Yeah, for me, I was... I was in high school.
[38:13] Speaker 1: I ended up in an abusive relationship. And even after
[38:17] Speaker 1: high school and college, this dude would not let me go.
[38:22] Speaker 1: He would just pop up at my job. If I'm
[38:26] Speaker 1: out at a different club with my homegirls, I see
[38:29] Speaker 1: him in the corner. He would send me messages on
[38:32] Speaker 1: MySpace and be like, oh, whose car is that parked
[38:35] Speaker 1: in your driveway? Little shit like that. And honestly, I
[38:39] Speaker 1: had to.
[38:41] Speaker 1: I had to get up and move literally across the
[38:44] Speaker 1: country to safety.
[38:47] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[38:48] Speaker 1: Financial safety and physical safety.
[38:50] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[38:51] Speaker 1: So honestly, I don't know if I would have still
[38:53] Speaker 1: been here because this is someone who to this day,
[38:57] Speaker 1: to this day, this dude has a mugshot. for domestic violence,
[39:03] Speaker 1: damage of personal property. Like this dude is literally a
[39:07] Speaker 1: very angry person. And so it's like, he didn't have
[39:11] Speaker 1: me to abuse anymore. So he had to find somebody
[39:13] Speaker 1: else to get that off on.
[39:15] Speaker 2: Right. Right. Yeah.
[39:16] Speaker 1: But yeah. So I'm like, when people are just saying, Oh,
[39:19] Speaker 1: she moved to Minnesota and she was a stripper. And
[39:21] Speaker 1: I'm like, that's insane. But that, it really didn't bother
[39:27] Speaker 1: me too much because once I moved to Vegas, I'm like, Oh,
[39:29] Speaker 1: I know. they think I'm stripping for real, for real.
[39:31] Speaker 2: Boy, you know what I'm saying? If I couldn't convince
[39:34] Speaker 2: y'all I wasn't doing it in Minnesota, this one's going
[39:37] Speaker 2: to be a doozy. It's going to be a doozy.
[39:41] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[39:41] Speaker 2: Vegas.
[39:42] Speaker 1: Yeah, and I really kept everything just chill. Like, I
[39:45] Speaker 1: would just come back home just to hang out with
[39:47] Speaker 1: my mom, see my nieces.
[39:48] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[39:49] Speaker 1: And just come on back. Like, I've just kind of
[39:52] Speaker 1: left North Carolina in the rear view.
[39:55] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[39:55] Speaker 1: And once my mom came to live with me.
[39:57] Speaker 2: It's over with. I was like, shh. Yeah, it's over with.
[40:00] Speaker 1: See, y'all, when I see you, I just started seeing
[40:02] Speaker 1: people at funerals and weddings.
[40:04] Speaker 2: Yeah, facts. That's how it's supposed to go, man.
[40:05] Speaker 1: How y'all doing? You know?
[40:07] Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how it's supposed to go.
[40:08] Speaker 1: And even with that, like, being back in North Carolina
[40:11] Speaker 1: with my mom having the brain aneurysm, it's like, now
[40:14] Speaker 1: I'm spending extended... extended amount of time with my family
[40:19] Speaker 1: that was talking all of this, you know, stuff about
[40:22] Speaker 1: me when I was gone. And I'm like, man, I
[40:25] Speaker 1: live across the country. I'm just raising my son. I'm
[40:27] Speaker 1: just minding my business. Like even my mom would, you know,
[40:30] Speaker 1: tell me sometimes like, Oh, such and such, you know,
[40:33] Speaker 1: she pregnant again, or this person's going to jail. And
[40:36] Speaker 1: I'm like, mom, leave all that. I don't care. I
[40:40] Speaker 1: left North Carolina for a reason. I don't care about
[40:43] Speaker 1: none of that stuff. Sorry.
[40:45] Speaker 2: That's real.
[40:45] Speaker 1: It, I don't care.
[40:47] Speaker 2: No, that's real. Because you like your dog. I'm living life, man.
[40:51] Speaker 1: Look, I'm trying to live an incredible, beautiful life. I
[40:56] Speaker 1: don't want to hear about that bullshit. That's all this
[40:58] Speaker 1: trauma that's like self-inflicted. I miss me with all of it.
[41:03] Speaker 1: And so being back in North Carolina and. Every time
[41:08] Speaker 1: that I would like drive through the town that I
[41:11] Speaker 1: grew up on, you know, I'm showing Prince like, oh,
[41:13] Speaker 1: this is where I used to stay. And this is
[41:15] Speaker 1: where I used to play basketball. And I went to
[41:17] Speaker 1: this school and I used to go swimming here and
[41:19] Speaker 1: all the things. I'm just reminded of why I left
[41:24] Speaker 1: in the first place. Like, yeah, every single time I
[41:27] Speaker 1: go back, I'm like, I'm so glad that I left.
[41:31] Speaker 1: But also, I'm being very honest with Prince about why
[41:35] Speaker 1: I left and why certain family members I don't fuck
[41:38] Speaker 1: with like that.
[41:39] Speaker 2: This is a beautiful, beautiful transition. Beautiful. Into one of
[41:47] Speaker 2: the clips that brought us here today about selling your
[41:54] Speaker 2: children everything. I thought that was a very beautiful clip.
[41:58] Speaker 2: You sent that to me. I watched it and I
[42:00] Speaker 2: rewatched it because I felt like it's a very important
[42:04] Speaker 2: message because we'll get into it. We'll get into into
[42:08] Speaker 2: the clip. Right. And then we'll, you know, like further discussion.
[42:13] Speaker 1: I'll play it now.
[42:14] Speaker 4: Our kids will know exactly why I chose to be
[42:16] Speaker 4: distant from my family. And before somebody say, don't poison
[42:19] Speaker 4: your kids against your family. Let me stop you right there.
[42:22] Speaker 4: There's a difference between teaching hate and teaching discernment. When
[42:25] Speaker 4: children get old enough to understand, I'm not going to
[42:28] Speaker 4: lie to protect grown people's reputation.
[42:30] Speaker 3: I'm going to tell them the truth in an age-appropriate way.
[42:32] Speaker 3: And not because I.
[42:32] Speaker 4: Want them to hate nobody, but because I love them
[42:35] Speaker 4: enough to prepare them. See, we teach our kids not
[42:37] Speaker 4: to get in cars with strangers. We teach them not
[42:39] Speaker 4: to accept candy from strangers. We teach them to watch
[42:42] Speaker 4: out for predators that they'll never meet. But somehow, people
[42:45] Speaker 4: think it's wrong to teach your children how to recognize
[42:49] Speaker 4: manipulation from people that they already know. Now, I'ma teach
[42:52] Speaker 4: my children what guilt tripping look like. I'ma teach them
[42:54] Speaker 4: that blood don't cancel out abuse. I'ma teach them that
[42:57] Speaker 4: somebody crying don't automatically make them the victim. I'ma teach
[43:00] Speaker 4: them that an apology without change behavior is just another
[43:03] Speaker 4: manipulation tactic. I'ma teach them that they don't owe anybody
[43:06] Speaker 4: unlimited access Just because they share DNA. I'm going to
[43:09] Speaker 4: teach them that respect your elders never meant accept disrespect
[43:14] Speaker 4: from your elders. I'm going to teach them how to
[43:15] Speaker 4: say no without explaining themselves. How to leave a room
[43:18] Speaker 4: without feeling guilty. How to set boundaries without feeling like
[43:21] Speaker 4: the bad person.
[43:21] Speaker 3: How to recognize who only call when they need something.
[43:24] Speaker 4: How to spot people who create chaos then blame the
[43:27] Speaker 4: person who finally speaks up. Because some of the most
[43:30] Speaker 4: dangerous people that you'll ever meet. Ain't gonna arrive wearing
[43:33] Speaker 4: no ski mask. Sometimes they arrive carrying the same last name.
[43:36] Speaker 4: And before y'all twist my words, hear me clear. I'm
[43:38] Speaker 4: not trying to make my children hate nobody. I'm trying
[43:41] Speaker 4: to make sure they never confuse love with obligation. Because
[43:44] Speaker 4: I wasn't protected by the adults who should have protected me.
[43:46] Speaker 3: My children will be. That's how cycles end. Not by
[43:49] Speaker 3: pretending nothing happened, but making sure it never happened again.
[43:53] Speaker 1: Listen here.
[43:54] Speaker 2: Yeah, boy.
[43:54] Speaker 1: Oh, man.
[43:55] Speaker 2: He didn't waste a bar. He didn't waste any bar.
[43:58] Speaker 1: Oh, my.
[43:58] Speaker 2: That was a... That's one of them, you got to
[44:02] Speaker 2: put the Don DeMarco shit from the URL battles in
[44:04] Speaker 2: this one. He didn't waste a... But I love everything
[44:07] Speaker 2: he said. Everything. And I'm more happy because it's a
[44:12] Speaker 2: black man that's saying this. Yes, exactly. Because it's somebody
[44:16] Speaker 2: who that... Obviously, it's somebody who I can easily look
[44:19] Speaker 2: at and identify with as a black man, as a
[44:22] Speaker 2: black father. But it's like, because we didn't grow up
[44:26] Speaker 2: being taught these things that he's talking about and the
[44:28] Speaker 2: fact that he gained consciousness... and awareness of this, and
[44:32] Speaker 2: now he's putting this out here for the world, it's
[44:34] Speaker 2: a huge step for black men. It's a huge step
[44:37] Speaker 2: for black men. So I applaud that, brother, man. I
[44:39] Speaker 2: really do.
[44:40] Speaker 1: Shout out to him. That just hit home for me
[44:43] Speaker 1: so much in so many different ways. In an amount of,
[44:47] Speaker 1: I say we were there for eight weeks in North Carolina,
[44:50] Speaker 1: so much happened within my family. As I'm going through
[44:55] Speaker 1: all these things with nursing my mom back to health,
[44:59] Speaker 1: I'm realizing that there are some family members who are
[45:02] Speaker 1: just MIA. They're missing in action. They're not showing up.
[45:05] Speaker 1: They're not even like calling or asking, hey, how's your
[45:09] Speaker 1: mom doing? How's she feeling? But I'm like, you know what?
[45:13] Speaker 1: That's cool. But my son, he's with me every day
[45:16] Speaker 1: when we go to hang out with my mom as
[45:19] Speaker 1: she's rehabbing in this facility. And he's seeing who's showing up,
[45:24] Speaker 1: who's coming to help out with whatever they can help
[45:27] Speaker 1: out with, whether it's laundry or- just coming to spend time,
[45:31] Speaker 1: just seeing if she needs anything, coming to maybe do
[45:36] Speaker 1: her hair or give her a pedicure or just the
[45:40] Speaker 1: small things. He's starting to notice. Now, unfortunately, I had
[45:45] Speaker 1: an aunt who passed away while we were in town
[45:48] Speaker 1: for the summer. And so, it's my mom's sister, so
[45:51] Speaker 1: I have to get my mom prepared for her sister's funeral.
[45:57] Speaker 1: And This was going to be my mom's first time
[46:00] Speaker 1: seeing a lot of family members since she had her
[46:04] Speaker 1: brain aneurysm. And so I'm preparing my mom for this,
[46:08] Speaker 1: but I'm also preparing Prince because he's heard, you know,
[46:12] Speaker 1: people ask, oh, how such and such doing?
[46:14] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[46:15] Speaker 1: And Prince is kind of like, hmm, like, you know,
[46:18] Speaker 1: like he sees that and I'm gonna put my business
[46:20] Speaker 1: out there. I don't mind because I talk about this.
[46:23] Speaker 1: openly and freely. I don't have a relationship with my
[46:26] Speaker 1: mom's mom. My grandmother, I don't know that lady like that.
[46:29] Speaker 1: She has been a very rude and unpleasant person to
[46:34] Speaker 1: be around.
[46:35] Speaker 2: And that's fair to say. That's, that's fair. That's fair.
[46:38] Speaker 2: Before you even continue, that's fair to say, because it's
[46:42] Speaker 2: just what that brother was saying in the clip. And
[46:43] Speaker 2: that brother, by the way, is, um, his name is
[46:45] Speaker 2: Roger Breshawn Cole. That's his name. Um, at Cole cuts
[46:49] Speaker 2: brand on, um, on, on Instagram. Uh, I had to
[46:53] Speaker 2: say that before I forgot it. But it's what he
[46:56] Speaker 2: was saying. Just because you have a title and you
[46:59] Speaker 2: are a family, it does not mean you get a
[47:00] Speaker 2: pass to just do what you want to do. You don't.
[47:02] Speaker 2: It's not how it works.
[47:03] Speaker 1: But I'm showing him not everybody has great relationships with
[47:07] Speaker 1: their mom, their dad, their grandparents, their brothers, sisters, whoever.
[47:12] Speaker 1: Sometimes things happen and I don't blame people for going
[47:18] Speaker 1: no contact with their parents. Even with me having... My
[47:23] Speaker 1: mom had a near-death experience, and I have people like, oh,
[47:26] Speaker 1: my God, moms are so important. But I have friends
[47:29] Speaker 1: who are like, I can't relate. Like, the way you
[47:31] Speaker 1: dropped everything to care for your mother, I would have
[47:33] Speaker 1: never done that because my mom is X, Y, and Z.
[47:35] Speaker 1: And I'm like, heard you.
[47:37] Speaker 2: And that's fair. That's fair. But 20 years ago, 20
[47:41] Speaker 2: years ago, 25 years ago, you wouldn't have heard anybody
[47:44] Speaker 2: speak like this.
[47:44] Speaker 1: In our community and in our family.
[47:46] Speaker 2: You just wouldn't. That's still your grandma. That's still your uncle.
[47:50] Speaker 2: That's still your... Do they know that?
[47:53] Speaker 1: It's still people doing that to this day. Because whenever
[47:57] Speaker 1: I say something like, oh yeah, I don't know my
[47:59] Speaker 1: grandma like that. And she has done things and like
[48:02] Speaker 1: treated me in ways where I'm like, oh, okay.
[48:05] Speaker 2: I'm off you.
[48:07] Speaker 1: And people be like, but that's still your grandma.
[48:10] Speaker 2: Tell her that.
[48:10] Speaker 1: Does she know that?
[48:11] Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Tell her that. That's what I
[48:13] Speaker 2: always say. When somebody says shit like this though, like
[48:15] Speaker 2: when somebody says that, well, that's still your, are you
[48:18] Speaker 2: telling them this too?
[48:19] Speaker 1: Mm-mm.
[48:21] Speaker 2: Because why am I the only one that needs to
[48:22] Speaker 2: understand the severity of like what this relationship is supposed
[48:25] Speaker 2: to mean or what this title is supposed to mean
[48:27] Speaker 2: or whatever? Like it's just.
[48:28] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[48:29] Speaker 2: No, bro. You give it like that title is something
[48:31] Speaker 2: that they didn't ask for, nor did they earn. They
[48:34] Speaker 2: just got it because that's the way life is. You're
[48:37] Speaker 2: related to this person, so I'm related to you in
[48:39] Speaker 2: this way. You didn't do shit to earn this. Nothing.
[48:41] Speaker 1: And I just remember being a four-year-old girl. And before
[48:46] Speaker 1: me and my mom had moved into this apartment, we
[48:48] Speaker 1: stayed with my grandma for a second. I remember she
[48:51] Speaker 1: came in. She used to be a nurse. So she
[48:53] Speaker 1: came in one day and I was like, hey, grandma.
[48:56] Speaker 1: And she looked at me. I'll never forget this. And
[48:58] Speaker 1: I'm four at the time. She said, don't you call
[49:01] Speaker 1: me that? And as a four-year-old kid, like, what do
[49:04] Speaker 1: you mean you're my grandma? Grandma, and I can't call
[49:07] Speaker 1: you grandma. That's very confusing to a child. And I'm like, okay.
[49:12] Speaker 1: And ever since I was four, I remember thinking, like,
[49:14] Speaker 1: I can't really rock with this lady like that. And
[49:19] Speaker 1: I make sure, like... even whenever we see different family
[49:21] Speaker 1: members and people like, oh, my God, I haven't seen
[49:23] Speaker 1: Prince in so long. Come give me a hug. And
[49:26] Speaker 1: Prince may be standing over there like, who is this?
[49:28] Speaker 1: I don't want to give him a hug. And I'm like,
[49:30] Speaker 1: you don't have to give them a hug. I let
[49:32] Speaker 1: him know, hey, if someone is asking you to do something,
[49:36] Speaker 1: you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to do it. You're
[49:39] Speaker 1: not going to get in trouble with me.
[49:41] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[49:41] Speaker 1: So, you know, and even... It was one time that,
[49:45] Speaker 1: you know, because I've been teaching this with Prince about consent, period.
[49:49] Speaker 1: Like how he, you know, moves around this world. Don't
[49:54] Speaker 1: expect or feel entitled to people's time, attention, you know, whatever.
[49:59] Speaker 1: But even don't allow people to just expect that from
[50:03] Speaker 1: you as well. So if you want to tell people
[50:06] Speaker 1: no thank you, tell them no thank you. So my
[50:09] Speaker 1: cousin had a cookout and it was a family friend
[50:13] Speaker 1: there who asked Prince, he was just asking him questions like, oh, wow,
[50:18] Speaker 1: I like your outfit. I like your hair, whatever. He
[50:19] Speaker 1: was like, can I touch your hair? And Prince said, no,
[50:22] Speaker 1: thank you. And walked away. And the whole table outside
[50:26] Speaker 1: was like, what? No, he did. I was like, yes,
[50:31] Speaker 1: he did. I felt very proud in that moment. And
[50:35] Speaker 1: I had to tell this friend, I was like, hey,
[50:38] Speaker 1: he doesn't like when people touch his hair. So I
[50:40] Speaker 1: don't care who asks to touch his hair. If he
[50:42] Speaker 1: doesn't want you to touch his hair, You're not touching
[50:45] Speaker 1: his hair.
[50:45] Speaker 2: He's going to tell you no, thank you. But you'll
[50:47] Speaker 2: have people that will look at that and say, like,
[50:51] Speaker 2: this is not the way that kids are supposed to behave. Like,
[50:54] Speaker 2: back in my day, they used to... And that's the problem.
[50:57] Speaker 1: That's the problem.
[50:58] Speaker 2: That's the problem. You see that we're here now. This
[51:00] Speaker 2: is the problem because nobody taught you about boundaries. And
[51:05] Speaker 2: that's cool. But... That's it. I'm teaching my children about that.
[51:10] Speaker 2: So now they're going to behave differently than you and
[51:12] Speaker 2: I did when we were kids. So it's like, Be
[51:14] Speaker 2: prepared for that. Don't sit back and say, oh, how
[51:17] Speaker 2: could you? No, no. This is the way it was
[51:19] Speaker 2: supposed to always be. It was supposed to always be
[51:21] Speaker 2: like this.
[51:23] Speaker 1: I was beaming with pride while everybody else was literally gagging.
[51:26] Speaker 2: Hell yeah. That's how you know a real change is
[51:29] Speaker 2: being made when everybody else looks around and they like, whoa,
[51:31] Speaker 2: hold on. What you mean? He said that? You let
[51:35] Speaker 2: him say that? Yeah.
[51:36] Speaker 1: And guess what? He didn't think anything of it. He
[51:39] Speaker 1: just went on about his business. And so in the
[51:42] Speaker 1: car on the way home, I was like, I'm very
[51:44] Speaker 1: proud of you for setting boundaries. And you didn't want
[51:47] Speaker 1: him to touch your hair. You said, no, thank you.
[51:50] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[51:50] Speaker 1: And he was like, I was like, no, like a
[51:53] Speaker 1: lot of people, it's expect things from kids like they don't.
[51:58] Speaker 1: give children autonomy. And I don't, I don't understand what
[52:01] Speaker 1: that's all about.
[52:02] Speaker 2: Like you don't think that kids are like people, bro. No, no, no.
[52:04] Speaker 2: They don't think kids are people. They feel like you go,
[52:07] Speaker 2: you better take what I give you. Listen to what
[52:09] Speaker 2: I say. Do what I tell you to do. Uh,
[52:11] Speaker 2: if anybody asks you to do like, it's, it's just,
[52:13] Speaker 2: you just here to serve. And it's like, nah, dog.
[52:16] Speaker 1: Cause I've even given him, you know, so many conversations
[52:20] Speaker 1: about like, even if he's going to stay the night
[52:22] Speaker 1: at a cousin's house, if anybody makes you feel uncomfortable,
[52:26] Speaker 1: you call me. If you don't feel comfortable staying tonight,
[52:30] Speaker 1: if somebody does something or somebody touches you or says
[52:34] Speaker 1: or asks something of you that you're not with, call me.
[52:38] Speaker 1: I will come and pick you up. Don't think it's
[52:40] Speaker 1: an inconvenience ever. If you feel unsafe in any way.
[52:45] Speaker 2: Hit me. I've been giving baby girl that talk for
[52:50] Speaker 2: as long as I can remember. Our oldest, my son
[52:54] Speaker 2: ain't quite yet, went off and, you know, doing the
[52:56] Speaker 2: spend the night out thing. But I've been giving... Yo, listen. Immediately.
[53:02] Speaker 2: I don't care what time it is. I said, if
[53:04] Speaker 2: somebody says anything to you, if somebody make you feel
[53:07] Speaker 2: some type of way, or if you just don't feel comfortable, period.
[53:11] Speaker 2: Let me know and I'll come. It don't matter. Like,
[53:13] Speaker 2: it don't... I don't give a fuck what it is.
[53:14] Speaker 2: Let me know. Because that's the thing we're not going
[53:17] Speaker 2: to do is tolerate you being somewhere where you feel
[53:20] Speaker 2: unsafe or uncomfortable. We're not having that.
[53:21] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[53:22] Speaker 2: Yep.
[53:23] Speaker 1: And even like, you know, back in North Carolina, we
[53:25] Speaker 1: go to... My aunt's funeral, my grandmother gets up there
[53:30] Speaker 1: at every funeral. She says something just so off the wall.
[53:34] Speaker 1: I'm just like, here we go. Like, I just look
[53:36] Speaker 1: over at my brother, whoever else in the family, like,
[53:40] Speaker 1: here she go again. But Prince, he's sitting there, he's
[53:42] Speaker 1: taking everything in and he's processing like, kind of like
[53:47] Speaker 1: putting people in categories on how, on what level that
[53:50] Speaker 1: he's going to deal with them. So after the funeral,
[53:53] Speaker 1: you got people walking up to him. Oh man, you're
[53:55] Speaker 1: getting so big and blah, blah, blah. And I can
[53:57] Speaker 1: just see it in his body language with like who
[54:00] Speaker 1: he rock with. Cause he's seeing who's around when we're
[54:04] Speaker 1: hanging out with my mom, his grandmother that he loves dearly.
[54:08] Speaker 1: So if you treating her any kind of way, he
[54:11] Speaker 1: ain't rocking with you. So I'm, I'm giving him the
[54:13] Speaker 1: information so that he can move accordingly. Now, if he
[54:17] Speaker 1: said like, Hey, I would like, uh, a relationship with
[54:21] Speaker 1: my great grandmother, I would figure out a way to
[54:23] Speaker 1: facilitate that. If that's something that he really wanted.
[54:26] Speaker 2: If that's something that he, yeah, yeah.
[54:28] Speaker 1: But he's seen her be disrespectful to me and to
[54:31] Speaker 1: my mom. And so he's like, no thanks.
[54:33] Speaker 2: Yeah, and y'all are people who he loves dearly. So
[54:36] Speaker 2: he's like, I'm cool on that.
[54:37] Speaker 1: I just wish more adults, parents, aunts, uncles, whatever, would
[54:42] Speaker 1: just allow children to know the truth so they can
[54:47] Speaker 1: come to their own conclusion about.
[54:50] Speaker 2: Yeah i think that'll happen more once people are more
[54:53] Speaker 2: okay with uh accepting the fact that the way that
[54:57] Speaker 2: they were raised might have been a little off a
[54:59] Speaker 2: little bit you know what i'm saying not necessarily like
[55:01] Speaker 2: all wrong and you know nothing was good about it
[55:03] Speaker 2: but it's just like you can't even begin to teach
[55:06] Speaker 2: somebody uh or correct something until you realize that it
[55:09] Speaker 2: was wrong in the first place and i don't think
[55:11] Speaker 2: a lot of people realize that it was wrong they
[55:14] Speaker 2: just because because i've had conversations with people Who don't
[55:18] Speaker 2: have children yet. And they talked about how, like, they
[55:20] Speaker 2: would discipline their children, like, you know, whoopings and shit
[55:23] Speaker 2: like that. And they like.
[55:23] Speaker 1: We gonna get into this conversation.
[55:25] Speaker 2: And it's the thing. And it's the thing. Their reason
[55:27] Speaker 2: is because, like, that's what I went through. And look
[55:31] Speaker 2: at me. And it's like.
[55:32] Speaker 1: I turned out fine, but.
[55:33] Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like, but did you, bro? You didn't
[55:35] Speaker 2: have to go through that. Yeah, you really didn't have
[55:37] Speaker 2: to go through that. And because you understand that you
[55:39] Speaker 2: went through it, you shouldn't want to put your kids
[55:41] Speaker 2: through that. There's ways around that, bro. Like, there's ways
[55:44] Speaker 2: around it. 100% it is. You can talk to them.
[55:47] Speaker 2: You can have real conversations with them. I don't put
[55:49] Speaker 2: my hands on my kids at all. Because the one
[55:52] Speaker 2: thing that we leave within this house is respect. I
[55:55] Speaker 2: don't get my kids to, you know, do this or else.
[55:57] Speaker 2: It's just do this. And because of the respect that
[56:00] Speaker 2: I've built with them, because I respect them and, you know,
[56:03] Speaker 2: it's reciprocated, it gets done. I'm not threatening you with violence, dog.
[56:08] Speaker 2: I don't want you to fear me and, you know,
[56:10] Speaker 2: when my name get bought up, you thinking about when
[56:12] Speaker 2: I whooped your ass that time. Like, I don't want
[56:14] Speaker 2: that to be the case. Like, no, we don't. Now,
[56:16] Speaker 2: when my name get brought up, you're going to know
[56:17] Speaker 2: we're going to have a conversation. Now, if you're scared
[56:20] Speaker 2: to have that conversation, that's a different story. You know
[56:22] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Because we're going to talk. But I'm
[56:24] Speaker 2: not going to put my hands on my kids, bro.
[56:25] Speaker 2: They know that. You know what I'm saying?
[56:30] Speaker 1: Prince and I have that type of relationship where if
[56:33] Speaker 1: something happens, it's a conversation. I don't feel the need
[56:37] Speaker 1: to have to put my hands.
[56:38] Speaker 2: On you for you to understand some shit. To me,
[56:41] Speaker 2: I feel like you lost. As an adult in a
[56:43] Speaker 2: situation where you have to resort to violence with a
[56:45] Speaker 2: child instead.
[56:46] Speaker 1: Of talking to a child.
[56:47] Speaker 2: You have failed them and you failed yourself miserably. And
[56:51] Speaker 2: I'm not saying this because I'm trying to cast judgment
[56:54] Speaker 2: and look down on people. I'm telling you this so
[56:56] Speaker 2: that you can accept this and be like, damn, you're right.
[56:59] Speaker 2: I need to be better. A hundred percent. Because as
[57:02] Speaker 2: soon as you feel like you need to put your
[57:03] Speaker 2: hands on them, step back and say, could I say
[57:06] Speaker 2: something right here that would make sense to this? You
[57:08] Speaker 2: know what I'm saying? Like this child instead of me
[57:10] Speaker 2: putting them. If you put your hands on them, guess what?
[57:12] Speaker 2: You're still going to try to deliver that message, but
[57:13] Speaker 2: now you're delivering that message to a crying child who's
[57:16] Speaker 2: in pain because you just hit them. You just added
[57:18] Speaker 2: a whole bunch of more trauma, and you're still trying
[57:20] Speaker 2: to drill the same message in. It's not going to work, bro.
[57:23] Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, the day we have this conversation on this show.
[57:27] Speaker 2: Oh, it's going to come. It's going to come.
[57:29] Speaker 1: Oh, I can't wait because people are just like, oh,
[57:31] Speaker 1: this gentle parenting stuff. This is why these kids act. Okay.
[57:35] Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah. Ooh, please save that because I want to
[57:40] Speaker 2: get into that. I want to get into that bad.
[57:42] Speaker 2: But I also do want to get into the other clip, right?
[57:47] Speaker 2: The other clip that I sent. And it was just
[57:51] Speaker 2: something along the lines of like the most important thing
[57:54] Speaker 2: that you can do for your kids is this, right?
[57:57] Speaker 2: So I'll pull the clip up real quick and then
[57:58] Speaker 2: we can talk about it. For sure.
[58:00] Speaker 5: I think the most important thing a father can give
[58:04] Speaker 5: his child, really any parent can give their children, is
[58:08] Speaker 5: undivided attention.
[58:09] Speaker 2: I mean like.
[58:10] Speaker 5: Actual eye contact, getting at their level attention. And it
[58:14] Speaker 5: doesn't necessarily mean talking to them and talking to them,
[58:17] Speaker 5: like talking at them. It could also mean just talking.
[58:22] Speaker 5: A lot of parents, myself included, when it comes to parenting,
[58:27] Speaker 5: it has to like we're thinking about how are we teaching?
[58:29] Speaker 5: How are we leading? And in some cases, I do
[58:33] Speaker 5: believe it's more important to be led because your kids
[58:36] Speaker 5: might just want you to listen to them as opposed
[58:39] Speaker 5: to walking in front of them.
[58:42] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[58:42] Speaker 1: You know.
[58:43] Speaker 2: Yeah. I came across that clip. And it made me
[58:47] Speaker 2: think about when we had the conversation, I want to
[58:50] Speaker 2: say it was. ground maybe our it could have been
[58:53] Speaker 2: our first episode i can't remember when i talked about
[58:56] Speaker 2: taking inventory right we posted the clip the clip is
[58:58] Speaker 2: up right now on our instagram page at parental advisory
[59:01] Speaker 2: on instagram if you are not following us please do
[59:03] Speaker 2: so right now um but i talked about taking inventory
[59:07] Speaker 2: and that right there i think just encapsulates the whole
[59:10] Speaker 2: thing because and i originally got that idea from uh
[59:13] Speaker 2: loon shout out to loon right uh former rapper former
[59:17] Speaker 2: bad boy artist and everything and he was he's changed
[59:20] Speaker 2: his life around tremendously and he started talking about how
[59:24] Speaker 2: those micro-interactions, they matter the most. And it hit me
[59:29] Speaker 2: because I was like, I could never put a name
[59:30] Speaker 2: to that thing. Because I always admired my older brother
[59:34] Speaker 2: for being able to master the art of that. That's
[59:38] Speaker 2: why he was so good with people, and that's why
[59:39] Speaker 2: people loved him. He mastered the art of making you
[59:42] Speaker 2: feel seen by him. He's a big figure. You know
[59:46] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? His presence is a lot. And so
[59:49] Speaker 2: for him to acknowledge you, it means the world to you. Even...
[59:52] Speaker 2: 20 years later after he's been gone, there's people who
[59:55] Speaker 2: still just like, man, I miss him so much. And
[59:57] Speaker 2: it's like, I know because he made you feel special
[1:00:00] Speaker 2: with those little moments. And that's, this is what we're
[1:00:04] Speaker 2: talking about right here, where it's like your kids want
[1:00:06] Speaker 2: to know that they're important. Your kids want to come
[1:00:08] Speaker 2: to you and say, yo, I was watching this show
[1:00:10] Speaker 2: and X, Y, Z happened. They don't want to get
[1:00:12] Speaker 2: cut off for you to be like, Hey man, I
[1:00:13] Speaker 2: ain't got time to, cause now it's like, damn bro. Like,
[1:00:16] Speaker 2: you know, I love you the most in the world. Right.
[1:00:18] Speaker 2: And you shunning me like this is kind of, This
[1:00:21] Speaker 2: shit is kind of fucking with my confidence a little bit.
[1:00:23] Speaker 1: I don't know if you know that.
[1:00:24] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[1:00:24] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
[1:00:26] Speaker 1: No, that's so real. That's so real. Like, even after
[1:00:29] Speaker 1: a very overstimulating day, I go pick Prince up from
[1:00:32] Speaker 1: school and it's just noise and questions and, you know,
[1:00:35] Speaker 1: just being silly. And then when he wants to come
[1:00:38] Speaker 1: and show me something, yes, I would love to retreat
[1:00:40] Speaker 1: to my room and just have, like, some peace and quiet.
[1:00:42] Speaker 1: But it's like, he's so excited to talk to me
[1:00:45] Speaker 1: about something.
[1:00:46] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[1:00:47] Speaker 1: Why would I... Make him feel some kind of way
[1:00:51] Speaker 1: for doing that.
[1:00:52] Speaker 2: Yeah, man. It's hurt. Like, dog.
[1:00:55] Speaker 1: That kid adores me.
[1:00:56] Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%. And you see how we talked about earlier, right?
[1:01:01] Speaker 2: And this is like a full circle thing about the
[1:01:02] Speaker 2: kids going back to school. So now they're going back
[1:01:05] Speaker 2: to school, so now my sleep schedule changes. But it's like,
[1:01:08] Speaker 2: that's not something for me to take out on them.
[1:01:10] Speaker 2: That's not something for me to do. Exactly. That's not
[1:01:12] Speaker 2: their fault. So when I get up in the morning,
[1:01:14] Speaker 2: and I just was at work from 5 p.m. to
[1:01:16] Speaker 2: 5 p.m. 4 a.m. or whatever it is, and I
[1:01:19] Speaker 2: didn't go to sleep until 5, and then I'd get
[1:01:21] Speaker 2: up with them. When I'm on the way to school,
[1:01:23] Speaker 2: you know, driving them to school, and my son is
[1:01:25] Speaker 2: asking me questions, I'm right there talking to him. He
[1:01:27] Speaker 2: asks me to play a song, or daddy, like, I
[1:01:30] Speaker 2: saw this video in XYZ, and I'm talking to him.
[1:01:32] Speaker 2: And then when I come back and I get a
[1:01:34] Speaker 2: baby girl and take her to, you know, middle school,
[1:01:36] Speaker 2: because now they're not going to the same school anymore.
[1:01:38] Speaker 2: She's going to, you know, middle school. So when I
[1:01:40] Speaker 2: come back and I take her, She got conversations she
[1:01:43] Speaker 2: want to have with me too. She want to tell
[1:01:44] Speaker 2: me about stuff.
[1:01:45] Speaker 1: So they get their own dedicated time with you.
[1:01:48] Speaker 2: They do. 100%.
[1:01:49] Speaker 1: Where they get your undivided attention.
[1:01:50] Speaker 2: My undivided attention. And so it's like when we're doing that,
[1:01:53] Speaker 2: I'm always asking them, yo, what kind of music do
[1:01:55] Speaker 2: you want to listen to? What you want to listen to?
[1:01:57] Speaker 2: My son love Michael Jackson. You want to just hear
[1:01:58] Speaker 2: Michael Jackson. You know what I'm saying? And he'll take
[1:02:02] Speaker 2: some of my suggestions too. He like some of the
[1:02:04] Speaker 2: stuff that I listen to as well. And then with
[1:02:07] Speaker 2: Baby Girl, we just spend most of the car ride talking.
[1:02:09] Speaker 2: We spend like the end of the whole car ride talking.
[1:02:11] Speaker 2: We just be kicking it. was talking about whatever. You
[1:02:13] Speaker 2: know what I mean? Something she into, something she drew,
[1:02:15] Speaker 2: something that happened at school, something we see on the road,
[1:02:19] Speaker 2: just whatever it is. Like, we're talking, but it's like,
[1:02:22] Speaker 2: imagine if I was shut down in those moments. Imagine
[1:02:25] Speaker 2: how awkward it would be and imagine how much strain
[1:02:27] Speaker 2: it would put on our relationship if in those moments
[1:02:30] Speaker 2: she started to come to the car in the morning
[1:02:32] Speaker 2: when it's time for me to take her to school
[1:02:33] Speaker 2: and she just immediately Her, you know, heart sink to
[1:02:36] Speaker 2: her stomach like, oh, man, I don't want to sit
[1:02:38] Speaker 2: in a car with this motherfucking man. We ain't going
[1:02:39] Speaker 2: to talk about nothing. He mad. He upset. Yeah. Like,
[1:02:42] Speaker 2: just imagine, imagine the type of rapport that I'm losing
[1:02:49] Speaker 2: right there. The love and all this admiration and whoever
[1:02:54] Speaker 2: I am to her in her eyes. Imagine what I'm
[1:02:56] Speaker 2: losing if I was to sit there and just suck
[1:02:58] Speaker 2: the life out of that moment and make it about me.
[1:03:00] Speaker 2: It's not about that. You have to be able to
[1:03:03] Speaker 2: compartmentalize stuff, man. You have to.
[1:03:04] Speaker 1: Because there's times where I'm busy and I'm working. I
[1:03:07] Speaker 1: might have to be on my phone for something or whatever.
[1:03:10] Speaker 1: And Prince will come up and he's trying to get
[1:03:12] Speaker 1: my attention with something. I have made it a point
[1:03:15] Speaker 1: to say, hey, babe, I'm working on this. You have
[1:03:18] Speaker 1: my undivided attention as soon as I'm done. And give
[1:03:21] Speaker 1: him a moment to be like, oh, okay. Yeah, that's fair.
[1:03:23] Speaker 1: But to also teach him at the same time, I
[1:03:26] Speaker 1: just can't get your attention whenever I feel like it because...
[1:03:29] Speaker 1: you know, things are going on, you know what I'm saying?
[1:03:32] Speaker 1: Like getting him to weigh.
[1:03:34] Speaker 2: It's a couple of lessons. It's a couple of lessons
[1:03:35] Speaker 2: right there. That's being taught for sure. Yeah.
[1:03:37] Speaker 1: Cause even if like, if I'm upstairs and he's downstairs
[1:03:41] Speaker 1: doing whatever and I'm like, Prince, come here. I have
[1:03:44] Speaker 1: to take into consideration too. He might be busy.
[1:03:46] Speaker 2: He might be doing homework.
[1:03:47] Speaker 1: He might be reading. He might be, you know, locked
[1:03:49] Speaker 1: in on something. So I can't just expect him to
[1:03:53] Speaker 1: give me grace whenever I got something going on. No, no.
[1:03:56] Speaker 1: It's reciprocated.
[1:03:56] Speaker 2: It go both ways. Yeah, it go both ways because
[1:03:58] Speaker 2: the kids, because like kids pick up on respect and
[1:04:01] Speaker 2: things like that, like super early. And I think that
[1:04:03] Speaker 2: like a lot of adults, the thing that they lose
[1:04:06] Speaker 2: in adulthood is remembering that they were kids once. So
[1:04:08] Speaker 2: it's like, imagine, remember how people made you feel when
[1:04:11] Speaker 2: you were a kid? Like, remember your favorite aunt probably
[1:04:14] Speaker 2: was the aunt that every time you went to her,
[1:04:15] Speaker 2: she had time for you. Just that little small thing.
[1:04:18] Speaker 2: Every time you went and showed her, I got some
[1:04:20] Speaker 2: new shoes or I got this toy or whatever. She
[1:04:22] Speaker 2: listened to you and she heard you out. No matter what.
[1:04:24] Speaker 2: That's your favorite aunt, your favorite uncle, your, you know,
[1:04:27] Speaker 2: whatever it is. You love your dad because he always
[1:04:30] Speaker 2: listened to you. He always had a joke to make.
[1:04:32] Speaker 2: Or you love your mom because she was always giving
[1:04:34] Speaker 2: you advice. Those are very small things in like right now,
[1:04:40] Speaker 2: in the moment, to have a conversation. But I promise
[1:04:42] Speaker 2: you it means the world to your kids. I promise
[1:04:44] Speaker 2: you it does.
[1:04:45] Speaker 1: It does. And, you know, I was even able to
[1:04:48] Speaker 1: have a conversation with my mom after becoming a parent. Um,
[1:04:52] Speaker 1: because around my teenage years, I saw like a shift
[1:04:55] Speaker 1: in my mom. She used to sleep a lot. She
[1:04:57] Speaker 1: was just kind of like, you know, very easily irritated.
[1:05:01] Speaker 1: And so later on, I was like, between this time
[1:05:05] Speaker 1: and this time, like what was going on in your life?
[1:05:07] Speaker 1: Because I felt like you were just kind of, you
[1:05:10] Speaker 1: were just easily annoyed and angered sometimes, or you would,
[1:05:14] Speaker 1: you know, say certain things to me. And it was
[1:05:15] Speaker 1: kind of hurtful, the energy that you brought to me
[1:05:18] Speaker 1: when I'm just like, you know, existing. And, you know,
[1:05:23] Speaker 1: she was she had to kind of just sit back
[1:05:25] Speaker 1: and be like, you know, what was going on in
[1:05:27] Speaker 1: my life? Why did I, you know, act like that? Or,
[1:05:31] Speaker 1: you know, sometimes they'll be like, oh, I don't even
[1:05:33] Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that I said this or behave
[1:05:36] Speaker 1: this way. Sometimes you got to bring it to your attention.
[1:05:39] Speaker 1: But I say that to say that I remember that
[1:05:42] Speaker 1: I remember how I felt when I was kind of like,
[1:05:47] Speaker 1: dismissed a bit that's the thing that's what i don't
[1:05:51] Speaker 1: want prince to feel is dismissed i think that's one
[1:05:54] Speaker 1: of the most heartbreaking things that you can experience as
[1:05:58] Speaker 1: a person you don't want your spouse to dismiss you
[1:06:01] Speaker 1: you don't want your parents to dismiss you don't want
[1:06:03] Speaker 1: your friend like being dismissed even by a stranger.
[1:06:06] Speaker 2: It's like what the hell what being dismissed by somebody
[1:06:09] Speaker 2: who you genuinely love and care about it has to
[1:06:14] Speaker 2: shatter like this is the reason why to this day
[1:06:18] Speaker 2: Damn near every day I find a new reason why
[1:06:20] Speaker 2: I love my brother so much and why I miss
[1:06:23] Speaker 2: him and shit because I think back to him always
[1:06:27] Speaker 2: having time for me. Even in his busy life where
[1:06:30] Speaker 2: he had a million people to talk to and respond
[1:06:32] Speaker 2: to and take care of and do this and kids
[1:06:35] Speaker 2: of his own and a life of his own and
[1:06:38] Speaker 2: his own feelings and emotions and everything, but he still
[1:06:41] Speaker 2: had time for me. No matter what was going on,
[1:06:43] Speaker 2: he still had time for me. And when we talked,
[1:06:45] Speaker 2: it was never... It was always like him giving me
[1:06:49] Speaker 2: some advice, giving me some game, making a joke. We
[1:06:52] Speaker 2: can talk. We can, you know, have that type of bond.
[1:06:56] Speaker 2: If he was dismissive of me, it would have shattered
[1:07:00] Speaker 2: my world. It would have crushed me. I would have
[1:07:04] Speaker 2: been a whole different person.
[1:07:05] Speaker 1: Yes.
[1:07:06] Speaker 2: Promise you I would have been a whole different person. Absolutely.
[1:07:09] Speaker 1: But, you know, we take in all of our experiences
[1:07:12] Speaker 1: as children and We're able to now as parents look
[1:07:16] Speaker 1: back on and say, hey, we got to do things
[1:07:18] Speaker 1: differently because I don't want my children, the little people
[1:07:23] Speaker 1: that I've brought into this world to even feel a
[1:07:26] Speaker 1: percentage of that. Because, you know, when you are able
[1:07:32] Speaker 1: to experience love and care and be able to get
[1:07:36] Speaker 1: attention in your home, When someone outside in this world
[1:07:40] Speaker 1: doesn't give you that, you're immediately like, what is this? Like,
[1:07:43] Speaker 1: this is foreign. So I want to stay away from
[1:07:47] Speaker 1: behavior like that.
[1:07:48] Speaker 2: That's one of the things I'm most proud about.
[1:07:50] Speaker 1: Unfortunately, because there are people who will go out, if
[1:07:53] Speaker 1: they didn't get the love and attention and all those
[1:07:56] Speaker 1: things at home, the first person that shows them a
[1:07:58] Speaker 1: little piece of love and attention, they're just going to
[1:08:01] Speaker 1: be all in.
[1:08:02] Speaker 2: Head over heels.
[1:08:03] Speaker 3: Yep.
[1:08:03] Speaker 1: This is exactly what I've been looking for. This is new.
[1:08:06] Speaker 2: I need this.
[1:08:07] Speaker 1: Yeah. Yes. And you're getting like this dopamine rush and
[1:08:10] Speaker 1: it's like, ah, and I, and I've, I've seen it
[1:08:13] Speaker 1: happen with so many people when I'm like, oh, this
[1:08:17] Speaker 1: is what's, what was going on in your home. So
[1:08:19] Speaker 1: this is why you are this way as an adult.
[1:08:23] Speaker 1: Got it. And so I'm like, okay, let me, how
[1:08:25] Speaker 1: can I apply this to my relationship with my son,
[1:08:29] Speaker 1: with my child so that he doesn't go out into
[1:08:31] Speaker 1: this world looking for something that I could have been
[1:08:34] Speaker 1: giving him at home this entire time. Yeah.
[1:08:37] Speaker 2: Yeah. That's that's real. And that's what I'm saying. Like
[1:08:40] Speaker 2: it's because, you know, you can't you can give your
[1:08:43] Speaker 2: kids all the tools in the world, but you can't
[1:08:45] Speaker 2: go out there and live their life for them. When
[1:08:48] Speaker 2: I had these conversations, like especially with my baby girl,
[1:08:52] Speaker 2: because she's at that age, she's about to be 12
[1:08:54] Speaker 2: in a couple of weeks. So she's at that age
[1:08:56] Speaker 2: where it's like experiencing a lot of things for the
[1:08:58] Speaker 2: first time, getting out there. you know, making new friends. Like,
[1:09:02] Speaker 2: it's middle school. This is not like high school where,
[1:09:05] Speaker 2: you know, like I said, with our oldest, we've already
[1:09:07] Speaker 2: been through the talks and the stages and everything like that.
[1:09:09] Speaker 2: But it's like now I got to see how you
[1:09:11] Speaker 2: navigate this world. And when she tells me about stuff
[1:09:14] Speaker 2: with friends who are no longer friends and things that
[1:09:17] Speaker 2: got said or whatever, the one thing about her, she
[1:09:19] Speaker 2: doesn't take things personally. And that is a major key
[1:09:24] Speaker 2: in life that I didn't have that tool when I
[1:09:27] Speaker 2: was younger. Like, I did not have that tool when
[1:09:29] Speaker 2: I was younger. I got it as I became an adult.
[1:09:32] Speaker 2: And I made a vow that that's something that if
[1:09:35] Speaker 2: I care about you, I will always have a conversation
[1:09:37] Speaker 2: with you, you know, man, woman, or child, about not
[1:09:41] Speaker 2: taking things personally. Because this shit don't got nothing to
[1:09:43] Speaker 2: do with you. I don't give a fuck who it
[1:09:45] Speaker 2: come from. It has nothing to do with you. You
[1:09:46] Speaker 2: know what I'm saying? So that's something that I see her, like, really...
[1:09:51] Speaker 2: living her life in that, like, well, like it is
[1:09:54] Speaker 2: what it is.
[1:09:54] Speaker 1: And that's not something to really teach. That's just something
[1:09:57] Speaker 1: that you, that grows inside of you as you're being
[1:10:00] Speaker 1: nurtured and, you know, you're building like their own confidence.
[1:10:05] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[1:10:05] Speaker 1: So whatever other people are saying isn't going to affect
[1:10:08] Speaker 1: them because they.
[1:10:09] Speaker 2: Know the truth of who they are. And they only
[1:10:12] Speaker 2: can get that. They can only like, you know, build
[1:10:14] Speaker 2: that with what you were saying. You give them the
[1:10:16] Speaker 2: love at home. You give them the attention at home.
[1:10:19] Speaker 2: Those are the tools. So now you can't live, like
[1:10:22] Speaker 2: I said, you can't live their life for them. You
[1:10:24] Speaker 2: can't live these experiences for them. But you're giving them
[1:10:26] Speaker 2: the tools and now they like, instinctively they don't care
[1:10:29] Speaker 2: about how somebody make them feel because they're like, oh,
[1:10:31] Speaker 2: I got love from the people that count. I'm cool.
[1:10:33] Speaker 2: I'm all right on this.
[1:10:35] Speaker 1: Yeah. When you were in middle school, did you feel,
[1:10:39] Speaker 1: how was your middle school experience? I just remember I
[1:10:43] Speaker 1: moved to a new city. I moved from Lexington to Greensboro,
[1:10:46] Speaker 1: which is much bigger. And I was like, from like
[1:10:50] Speaker 1: sixth and seventh grade, folks just did not like me.
[1:10:53] Speaker 1: But I don't remember feeling any kind of way about it.
[1:10:56] Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you my middle school experience day one.
[1:10:59] Speaker 2: This is the first day of middle school. Overall, middle school,
[1:11:02] Speaker 2: I loved it. I had a great time in middle school.
[1:11:04] Speaker 2: I love middle school. Some of the finest teachers in
[1:11:08] Speaker 2: my life was in middle school. There was a teacher
[1:11:12] Speaker 2: in my, I want to say when I was like
[1:11:16] Speaker 2: in the eighth grade, my science teacher. I'm going to
[1:11:19] Speaker 2: say this. I would have been on the news that
[1:11:21] Speaker 2: she wanted to take it there. I'm going to just
[1:11:23] Speaker 2: say that. I'm sorry, man. But I just... I would
[1:11:27] Speaker 2: have probably been in one of the scandals, man. But
[1:11:29] Speaker 2: this is the thing. So here's my... That's great. I
[1:11:34] Speaker 2: might tell you a joke. I ain't going to tell
[1:11:36] Speaker 2: you a lie, man. But this is the thing. My
[1:11:38] Speaker 2: first day of middle school, right? I'm going to middle
[1:11:41] Speaker 2: school outside of my neighborhood. Our local middle school was Hutchins.
[1:11:46] Speaker 2: That's the school that everybody went to. One of my...
[1:11:50] Speaker 2: Oddly enough, one of my science teachers in elementary school
[1:11:52] Speaker 2: was like, yo, I could see a real bright future
[1:11:54] Speaker 2: for him. I think he should go to this other school,
[1:11:57] Speaker 2: not this school over here around the corner. Like, no disrespect,
[1:11:59] Speaker 2: if you want to take him there, cool, but I
[1:12:01] Speaker 2: got a school I could recommend for you. So I
[1:12:03] Speaker 2: ended up going to school out of the neighborhood, which
[1:12:05] Speaker 2: I found out two of my other homeboys who were
[1:12:07] Speaker 2: older than me, they went there too. So they was like,
[1:12:10] Speaker 2: hell yeah, like, yeah, you should go there. So I'm like, okay, cool.
[1:12:13] Speaker 2: First day I get there, I had a girlfriend in
[1:12:15] Speaker 2: like fifth grade. You know what I'm saying? We stayed,
[1:12:17] Speaker 2: I stayed like, uh, I thought you had a girlfriend.
[1:12:21] Speaker 2: I had a girlfriend earlier than that, but I ain't
[1:12:22] Speaker 2: really good at that. But I had a girlfriend, right?
[1:12:26] Speaker 2: We was going to two different schools and all that.
[1:12:27] Speaker 2: So we was talking over the summer, like, yo, how
[1:12:29] Speaker 2: this going to work, whatever. You know what I mean?
[1:12:33] Speaker 2: Having real conversations. This is what I'm saying. We were
[1:12:36] Speaker 2: 10 years old having conversations that, like, 19-year-olds are having, like,
[1:12:38] Speaker 2: right now. That's what I'm saying. We were more mature.
[1:12:40] Speaker 2: We were just ahead of the curve. So we having
[1:12:43] Speaker 2: this conversation. So we like, cool, you know, we're going
[1:12:46] Speaker 2: to stay together, right? Cool. Out of all the schools
[1:12:49] Speaker 2: to go to, right? I'm going to tell you what
[1:12:51] Speaker 2: my luck is. I get there. I see this girl.
[1:12:54] Speaker 2: She cute. She looking at me. I'm looking at her.
[1:12:56] Speaker 2: I'm like, damn. She passed me a note. You know
[1:12:59] Speaker 2: how that goes. Passed me a note.
[1:13:01] Speaker 4: Yo.
[1:13:01] Speaker 2: I don't remember what it said. You know, bar for
[1:13:05] Speaker 2: bar or whatever. But it was something along the lines
[1:13:06] Speaker 2: of her liking me. Something along the lines of we
[1:13:08] Speaker 2: need to talk or whatever. So I'm like, all right.
[1:13:11] Speaker 2: Because I'm new here. I'm like, I don't want to
[1:13:13] Speaker 2: be like shunning the pretty girl and shit my first day. Like,
[1:13:16] Speaker 2: how's that going to look? So we talk or whatever.
[1:13:19] Speaker 2: We kicking it and all that. And she asked me
[1:13:21] Speaker 2: to be her boyfriend. I was like, damn. I told
[1:13:25] Speaker 2: her yes. I told her yes. I did. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, man.
[1:13:31] Speaker 2: But here's my luck, though. Here's my luck. Here's where
[1:13:35] Speaker 2: my luck comes from. This is like the first week.
[1:13:38] Speaker 2: This is like the first week. So the first day
[1:13:39] Speaker 2: is when she passed me the note. First week, she
[1:13:41] Speaker 2: asked me to be her boyfriend. I agreed to it. Now,
[1:13:43] Speaker 2: my thinking was, I'm way out of my neighborhood. I
[1:13:45] Speaker 2: don't know nobody over here. I told this girl she's
[1:13:47] Speaker 2: my girlfriend. Who's going to know? Right? No harm, no foul.
[1:13:51] Speaker 5: Cool.
[1:13:52] Speaker 2: Tell me why. We get to lunch. I'm sitting at
[1:13:56] Speaker 2: the table with her. She's sitting across from me. We
[1:13:58] Speaker 2: like holding hands. We doing the whole night. We smitten.
[1:14:01] Speaker 2: I look to the right. There's a girl sitting over
[1:14:05] Speaker 2: there who I went to elementary school with. And guess
[1:14:08] Speaker 2: who she is? She is my girlfriend's best friend in
[1:14:11] Speaker 2: the world. We were all friends in elementary school. I
[1:14:15] Speaker 2: heard her say this. I heard her look at the
[1:14:17] Speaker 2: girl and say, I ain't going to say their names,
[1:14:18] Speaker 2: but I heard her look at the girl and say, yo,
[1:14:22] Speaker 2: you got a boyfriend here? And I saw the girl
[1:14:25] Speaker 2: across from me. I was doing this. I was looking
[1:14:26] Speaker 2: to the side like, oh. I saw the girl sitting
[1:14:29] Speaker 2: across from me do this. And she was like, who
[1:14:32] Speaker 2: you go with? She said, then pointed at me. I
[1:14:36] Speaker 2: was like, oh. Oh. I turned around, right? She said
[1:14:42] Speaker 2: my name. She called my name. She was like, Mariana.
[1:14:46] Speaker 5: Mariana.
[1:14:46] Speaker 2: She said my name a couple times. I said, she
[1:14:49] Speaker 2: was like, okay. I was devastated. I was devastated, bro.
[1:14:56] Speaker 2: I said, this is my luck.
[1:14:57] Speaker 1: Why were you devastated?
[1:14:58] Speaker 2: This is my luck, bro. Because like, of all the
[1:15:01] Speaker 2: places in the world, all the schools to go to,
[1:15:03] Speaker 2: I went out of my neighborhood. You had to drive
[1:15:05] Speaker 2: to get here. And she's here? Out of everybody?
[1:15:08] Speaker 1: You weren't devastated that you possibly hurt your.
[1:15:12] Speaker 2: No, no, no. No, no, no. Listen.
[1:15:14] Speaker 1: What were you devastated about?
[1:15:15] Speaker 2: That was immediately after because I was like, I can't believe.
[1:15:19] Speaker 2: I was in complete shock. Like, yo, she's here. You
[1:15:23] Speaker 2: gotta be kidding me. But right after that, I was like,
[1:15:25] Speaker 2: I know it's over with for me and my girl. Like,
[1:15:27] Speaker 2: I know it's going to be. Which girl? This is
[1:15:28] Speaker 2: going to be problems, bro.
[1:15:30] Speaker 1: Did you lose both girls?
[1:15:32] Speaker 2: No, I didn't lose both girls. No.
[1:15:33] Speaker 1: Oh. You like, of course not.
[1:15:36] Speaker 2: I lost one. But the new one, she was the
[1:15:40] Speaker 2: new one. It was like, all right, well, now you
[1:15:42] Speaker 2: got to be my girlfriend. Now, because I done lost
[1:15:43] Speaker 2: the whole one.
[1:15:43] Speaker 1: Okay, so hindsight. Hindsight.
[1:15:47] Speaker 2: I would have told her no.
[1:15:49] Speaker 1: No, hindsight.
[1:15:50] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[1:15:51] Speaker 1: Was she the one that got away? Like, now looking back,
[1:15:56] Speaker 1: which girl made the most sense for you?
[1:15:59] Speaker 2: Which girl made the most sense for me? Probably the
[1:16:02] Speaker 2: one that I was with because, like, we had, like,
[1:16:04] Speaker 2: a little history and, you know what I'm saying? It was, like,
[1:16:06] Speaker 2: the whole shit. Like, I really did like her. Like,
[1:16:08] Speaker 2: she liked me and we had the whole shit, like,
[1:16:10] Speaker 2: from elementary school. So, like, she probably made the most
[1:16:13] Speaker 2: sense for sure. I think that what I did when
[1:16:15] Speaker 2: I got to middle school was just on some feeling
[1:16:18] Speaker 2: myself and not wanting to be like, nah, I'm cool. Like,
[1:16:23] Speaker 2: I wasn't, I was trying to figure it out because
[1:16:25] Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, I'm new here. I think these other
[1:16:28] Speaker 2: boys like her and she like me. So, like, What
[1:16:32] Speaker 2: am I supposed to do? I didn't know how to
[1:16:33] Speaker 2: deal with that shit.
[1:16:34] Speaker 1: So what advice would you give your son if he's
[1:16:36] Speaker 1: ever in a situation like this?
[1:16:38] Speaker 2: I'm going to tell him, I'm going to say, son, son,
[1:16:41] Speaker 2: listen to me. You got to get used to girls
[1:16:43] Speaker 2: liking you, right? Like you're handsome. You, you got, you know, charisma.
[1:16:46] Speaker 2: You're pretty funny. You got to get used to that.
[1:16:48] Speaker 2: But you also got to understand that you have responsibility
[1:16:53] Speaker 2: to give your loyalty to the This other shit is
[1:16:59] Speaker 2: not important, bro. I promise you. You're going to have
[1:17:01] Speaker 2: a feeling in your stomach and you're going to say,
[1:17:03] Speaker 2: I should do this because it feel like the thing
[1:17:05] Speaker 2: to do. And you got to think, too. You got
[1:17:07] Speaker 2: older cousins and older brothers that's talking this player shit
[1:17:09] Speaker 2: when I was younger. Having multiple girls and I'm seeing
[1:17:12] Speaker 2: dudes have multiple girls. So it's not like I just
[1:17:14] Speaker 2: woke up one day and was like, I just want
[1:17:16] Speaker 2: to betray some... It wasn't that. It's not like I just...
[1:17:19] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? So when you're hearing that
[1:17:22] Speaker 2: and you're listening to music that's saying that and the
[1:17:25] Speaker 2: culture at the time is like... I'm a player, like
[1:17:28] Speaker 2: some player shit, bro. I got a girl over here.
[1:17:30] Speaker 2: I got a girl over there. My cool older cousins,
[1:17:32] Speaker 2: my older brother, they had different girls. Statue of limitations
[1:17:35] Speaker 2: is up on this shit now, by the way. So
[1:17:36] Speaker 2: I ain't snitching on nobody. Um, but they had, they
[1:17:39] Speaker 2: had different girls. So it's like, shit, I want to,
[1:17:41] Speaker 2: I want to see what that'd be like. Let me
[1:17:43] Speaker 2: see what's going on. And I'm 12 at the time.
[1:17:47] Speaker 2: So it's like, it's a lesson that I had to learn,
[1:17:49] Speaker 2: but you know, I would, I would teach him to
[1:17:51] Speaker 2: do things differently.
[1:17:53] Speaker 1: Yeah. And you know, as auntie, I would tell him,
[1:17:58] Speaker 1: you know, when you turn ladies down respectfully, they will
[1:18:03] Speaker 1: respect you a lot more, but they will like you
[1:18:07] Speaker 1: even more that you are, you know what I'm saying?
[1:18:11] Speaker 1: That you would pass on that because it would make
[1:18:13] Speaker 1: a woman or a girl go like, well, what is
[1:18:16] Speaker 1: it about her? Or what is it about me that he,
[1:18:18] Speaker 1: you know, why wouldn't he choose me?
[1:18:21] Speaker 2: And so think about this, right? When it comes to
[1:18:23] Speaker 2: like turning girls down, The only girls that we were
[1:18:27] Speaker 2: turning down, like my friends, whatever, was girls that we
[1:18:31] Speaker 2: didn't find attractive. So if I'm being influenced by these...
[1:18:35] Speaker 2: And I'm not making an excuse. I was fucking 12.
[1:18:38] Speaker 2: It was what it was. I did what I did.
[1:18:40] Speaker 2: But I was like, yo, she look good. What the
[1:18:44] Speaker 2: fuck I'm going to tell her no for? You know
[1:18:45] Speaker 2: what I'm saying? But I didn't have this... Nobody had
[1:18:48] Speaker 2: this conversation that I'm having right now that I said...
[1:18:50] Speaker 2: i would have my son with me it was just
[1:18:52] Speaker 2: like shit just just what it is like i'm just
[1:18:55] Speaker 2: looking at you know this is just how this shit
[1:18:58] Speaker 2: go but yeah no 100 i would tell him nah
[1:19:01] Speaker 2: bro you know because i.
[1:19:02] Speaker 1: Got some guy friends who like One of my closest
[1:19:06] Speaker 1: guy friends, he told me, he was like, yeah, the
[1:19:09] Speaker 1: first time I had sex, I was in college. He
[1:19:11] Speaker 1: was like, in high school? He felt like I'm too
[1:19:14] Speaker 1: good just to be giving myself out on William Dilliam.
[1:19:19] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, listen, listen.
[1:19:22] Speaker 1: He was like, nah, I'm cool.
[1:19:23] Speaker 2: There's some stories I can tell you, dog. There's some
[1:19:25] Speaker 2: stories I can tell you about situations that I've been
[1:19:27] Speaker 2: in where I could have lost my virginity way quicker,
[1:19:30] Speaker 2: but I was too picky and too selective because somebody
[1:19:33] Speaker 2: told me, Somebody told me, you can't always hit a
[1:19:37] Speaker 2: bad one. I took that as a challenge. I said,
[1:19:39] Speaker 2: who can't? Okay. We'll see about that. You may not
[1:19:46] Speaker 2: always be able to hit a bad one. Me? I'll
[1:19:50] Speaker 2: show you. And guess what happened? Girls get bought around. Yo, bro, yo, she.
[1:19:57] Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm telling you, bro, she going. I believe you, dog.
[1:20:00] Speaker 2: I'm straight. I'm good.
[1:20:02] Speaker 1: And what that does for a young girl's psyche is like,
[1:20:06] Speaker 1: but I think he's cute. Like, what do you mean? Like,
[1:20:08] Speaker 1: because we see guys just going for anything. But especially, like,
[1:20:14] Speaker 1: the pretty girls, the girls who know that they fine.
[1:20:17] Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? Like, what do you mean
[1:20:19] Speaker 1: you turning me down? But it kind of implements this, like,
[1:20:22] Speaker 1: chase in a way. So what can I do to
[1:20:24] Speaker 1: impress him? It's kind of like a reverse psychology, you know,
[1:20:27] Speaker 1: just for the... the young guys listening.
[1:20:30] Speaker 2: But yeah, that's it. That's just a part of growing up, man. Like,
[1:20:32] Speaker 2: and I'm, I'm, um, the older I get the best
[1:20:35] Speaker 2: lesson that I can give to people who look back
[1:20:38] Speaker 2: on things they went through and they might like regret
[1:20:40] Speaker 2: some things or like, damn, I wish I would've did
[1:20:42] Speaker 2: something different. Don't waste your time doing that. Number one,
[1:20:44] Speaker 2: it already happened. It is what it is. Number two,
[1:20:47] Speaker 2: it happened for a reason because now you can, you
[1:20:49] Speaker 2: can have the conversations with your kids about this or
[1:20:52] Speaker 2: your nieces, your nephews, or just, you know, whoever, whatever
[1:20:54] Speaker 2: kids are around, because let's say I hadn't made that decision.
[1:20:57] Speaker 2: When I was in middle school, I wouldn't know how
[1:20:59] Speaker 2: to help my son if he faced that decision today.
[1:21:01] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[1:21:01] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? So, like, I'm grateful to
[1:21:05] Speaker 2: have made those mistakes or to, like, made the wrong
[1:21:08] Speaker 2: decision or went to the fork in the road and
[1:21:10] Speaker 2: chose what eventually became the wrong path or, like, damn,
[1:21:14] Speaker 2: I should have went back and did this differently. I'm
[1:21:15] Speaker 2: good with that because I was supposed to make those
[1:21:18] Speaker 2: mistakes so that now when my kids come ask me
[1:21:20] Speaker 2: for shit or we talking about something, I can give
[1:21:22] Speaker 2: them experience and I can give them lessons from real experience.
[1:21:26] Speaker 2: I'm not just giving them some shit I just read
[1:21:28] Speaker 2: somewhere or I heard somebody say. Like, this is something
[1:21:31] Speaker 2: that I'm telling you. I lived this and I felt it.
[1:21:33] Speaker 2: And when I went to sleep, I felt like this.
[1:21:34] Speaker 2: And when I woke up, I felt like this. So, like,
[1:21:36] Speaker 2: just know before you make this decision, this is what
[1:21:38] Speaker 2: it is. You know what I'm saying?
[1:21:39] Speaker 1: And not only does it affect you, it affects other people. 100%.
[1:21:43] Speaker 2: Yep. Yeah.
[1:21:44] Speaker 1: Yep. So true.
[1:21:47] Speaker 2: All right.
[1:21:48] Speaker 1: We're going to wrap this episode next week. I want
[1:21:50] Speaker 1: you guys to lock in with us at Parental Revisory
[1:21:54] Speaker 1: on Instagram. Also, Parental Revisory on YouTube. I know sometimes
[1:22:00] Speaker 1: it's hard to search and find certain things. The algorithm
[1:22:03] Speaker 1: is spitting things at you that just doesn't make any sense. However,
[1:22:07] Speaker 1: Parental Revisory, me and Mari, we're there. We're locked in.
[1:22:11] Speaker 1: We're posting clips. We're posting full episodes. We got everything
[1:22:14] Speaker 1: going on. And, I mean, and then, you know, if
[1:22:16] Speaker 1: you watch us on YouTube, you get to see how
[1:22:18] Speaker 1: cute we are.
[1:22:19] Speaker 2: Yeah, like, I went and got my hair cut today.
[1:22:21] Speaker 2: It's fresh and all that. Man, the waves is out.
[1:22:23] Speaker 1: Come on. I got a little clavicle exposed today.
[1:22:27] Speaker 2: You feel me?
[1:22:28] Speaker 1: Showing a little skin today.
[1:22:29] Speaker 2: You know, it's still.
[1:22:30] Speaker 1: Summer out here in Vegas.
[1:22:31] Speaker 2: You know, I'm going. Oh, shit. Trust me. It's still
[1:22:34] Speaker 2: summer down here in Atlanta as well because I'm going
[1:22:36] Speaker 2: to tell you right now. You go outside your house,
[1:22:38] Speaker 2: it's going to feel like it's 90 degrees. I don't
[1:22:40] Speaker 2: give a fuck if it's 6 in the morning or
[1:22:41] Speaker 2: 6 p.m. It's going to feel, yeah, it's crazy out here.
[1:22:44] Speaker 4: Um.
[1:22:45] Speaker 2: But I do want to say shout out to and
[1:22:47] Speaker 2: thank you. And I appreciate it greatly to everybody who's
[1:22:51] Speaker 2: been tapping in with us so far. Whether you like
[1:22:54] Speaker 2: the post, commented on it, reposted it, sent it to somebody,
[1:22:58] Speaker 2: DM me directly or text me about it or whatever.
[1:23:01] Speaker 2: We appreciate all of it because you guys know that
[1:23:04] Speaker 2: like whenever we sit down and do something, it's something
[1:23:06] Speaker 2: that we actually care about. You know what I mean?
[1:23:08] Speaker 2: You don't get nothing but like the highest quality from us.
[1:23:11] Speaker 2: And when we put it out, nobody owes us anything.
[1:23:13] Speaker 2: You don't owe it to me to do any of
[1:23:15] Speaker 2: the things that you're doing to interact with the content.
[1:23:19] Speaker 2: But because you do it, I do want to say
[1:23:20] Speaker 2: thank you and I appreciate you to each and every
[1:23:22] Speaker 2: person out there. Even if you just see our shit
[1:23:25] Speaker 2: and you scroll past and you say, yo, I like
[1:23:27] Speaker 2: what they're doing and you don't like comment or nothing,
[1:23:29] Speaker 2: I appreciate you too.
[1:23:30] Speaker 1: Appreciate you.
[1:23:32] Speaker 2: Yeah. for sure but tap in with us though man.
[1:23:36] Speaker 1: Tap in with us um look the dms have been
[1:23:39] Speaker 1: hilarious especially about you and.
[1:23:41] Speaker 2: Uh your man about this um this is exactly me
[1:23:43] Speaker 2: man it's i'm getting more comfortable with the word and
[1:23:45] Speaker 2: i know that because when i when you said it
[1:23:46] Speaker 2: and i said it i didn't like tense up so
[1:23:48] Speaker 2: i'm getting more comfortable.
[1:23:49] Speaker 1: With it we're getting there okay.
[1:23:51] Speaker 2: It's going to happen it is going to happen um
[1:23:54] Speaker 2: because yeah it's we can't yeah.
[1:23:58] Speaker 1: Yeah no no yeah Yeah, you already know what the
[1:24:01] Speaker 1: benefits of it is. Like, you know, you just got.
[1:24:03] Speaker 2: To follow through. I just got to do it. Ain't
[1:24:05] Speaker 2: nothing to it but to do it.
[1:24:06] Speaker 1: Ain't nothing to it. Okay.
[1:24:08] Speaker 2: That's it. All right, guys.
[1:24:11] Speaker 1: Until next week. See you next Monday or on YouTube.
[1:24:14] Speaker 1: We will see you on Wednesday.
[1:24:16] Speaker 2: Peace.

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