# Why Women Feel Ashamed of Pleasure (And What the Science Says to Do Instead) | Dr. Laurie Mintz

An episode of [Live Well Be Well with Sarah Ann Macklin | Health, Lifestyle, Nutrition](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1508380100), 10 Apr 2026, 7:54.

Audio: https://anchor.fm/s/1033d1554/podcast/play/118076598/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-3-7%2F60318ac1-36fc-72f6-5e53-d8b544638922.mp3

Most women were never taught the most basic, scientifically supported thing they can do for their own wellbeing — and the shame around that silence is doing real damage. In this clip, Dr. Laurie Mintz, sex therapist and researcher, shares the study showing that 93% of women who had never experienced orgasm became orgasmic with one straightforward intervention — and why that statistic has been hiding in plain sight. If you have ever felt broken, ashamed, or simply uninformed about your own body, this is the conversation you didn't know you needed. Dr Laurie Mintz in conversation with Sarah Ann Listen to the full episode here. Watch the full episode on YouTube here. *** This episode is sponsored by: NOWATCH: The compassionate health tracker Connecting body and mind with unique stress recovery insights so you can live fully today15% off with code LWBW15 at https://nowatch.com/ Mojo: the app for expert-led courses in better sex.Learn from world-class sex therapists and relationship experts with courses tailored to your needs.15% off with code LiveWell15 at mymojo.com/livewellbewell *** The Great British Veg OutHow to support your gut, energy, and hormones by eating more — not less. 👉 https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/p/the-great-british-veg-outReset Your HealthIf your body feels off after stress, travel, or burnout — this is where to start. 👉 https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/s/reset-your-health-in-30-days 👉 Practical beats perfect.Here’s a free 5-recipe PDF I use to support energy and stress during busy weeks.https://sarahannmacklin.com/5_free_recipes 👉 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who readThe Compassionate Cure each week.https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/ *** Let’s be friends! 📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/ 📹 Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin 📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast💌 Newsletter: https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/

## Transcript

[0:02] This is a be Well moment, the most replayed moments from my
[0:05] latest conversation. It's a glimpse into the wider
[0:08] episode, which you can find LinkedIn the show notes below.
[0:12] Because sometimes one small moment is enough to reconnect to
[0:16] living well and being well. I think the most important thing
[0:24] is to talk about masturbation. Men talk about this really
[0:28] freely and openly, and it's quite normal and I don't think
[0:31] women do at all. And you have a whole chapter by
[0:35] saying like we kind of need to start there.
[0:37] And it's interesting. When I asked Google and ChatGPT,
[0:41] I was like, what's the most common question that women and
[0:45] men ask? The number one was how do women
[0:48] orgasm? It's still the number one most
[0:50] searched. And then the next one was how
[0:54] many women cannot orgasm? And then why can I not orgasm?
[0:58] Which is the woman? Wow, we, we got to, we got to
[1:00] answer all those and clear this off, right?
[1:05] And there were so many more, obviously, that we're going to
[1:07] go through, But it was interesting.
[1:08] I was like, this is obviously what most people are trying to
[1:12] get from Google and ChatGPT. So you have a whole thing in
[1:16] your book with women saying you need to start exploring yourself
[1:20] first. So let's start there.
[1:22] I mean, we've already seen the clitoris and understanding
[1:25] that's kind of like the powerhouse stimulation
[1:28] mitochondria of the cell. But what's next?
[1:32] Like how do women not feel ashamed?
[1:34] How do women feel comfortable doing it?
[1:37] Not stigmatise like talk women through this who are listening
[1:40] first. Of all, I'm so glad you asked
[1:41] that. Masturbation is the most
[1:45] important thing a woman can do and the research is so clear.
[1:50] It is the first step to being orgasmic.
[1:53] Women need to masturbate. It's the most empirically,
[1:56] scientifically supported technique and it feels great and
[2:00] it's going to give you orgasms and pleasure and make you sleep.
[2:04] We've been talking about a lot of negative stuff.
[2:06] This is positive. Stuff.
[2:08] Like this feels good. So in a lot of times it is like
[2:13] scary. You've been told not to do it.
[2:15] So, you know, start slow, right? Understand that women have been
[2:21] doing this for centuries, forever.
[2:23] There's no harm in it. It's in fact, it's extremely
[2:27] healthy. In fact, I, you know, sometimes
[2:30] like I, if someone's hesitant, I'll like make a little
[2:34] prescription pad and say this is your doctor's orders, go home
[2:38] and masturbate. It's so healthy.
[2:42] So women really need to know this is a way to say I am
[2:46] empowered, I love myself, I love my body, and I'm going to make
[2:49] myself feel good. And then, you know, first of
[2:53] all, it's I really recommend people getting a picture and
[2:57] looking at themselves so they know what they're touching and
[3:00] they know how beautiful their vulva is.
[3:02] Every evolva is beautiful. It's like a snowflake.
[3:06] Even identical twins don't have identical vulvas.
[3:08] They're like, they're such a beautiful part of you.
[3:11] But so get to know it, you know, get a diagram, identify the
[3:15] parts and then put your hands down there, See what feels good.
[3:21] And I'm going to go over some common things that feel good.
[3:24] A lot of women like to rub circles on the clitoral hood,
[3:28] either directly or through panties.
[3:31] A lot of women like to rub to the side of because the the hood
[3:35] in glands and you're stimulating the internal clitoris.
[3:39] This is the Mons pubis. It's where your hair starts.
[3:42] If you a lot of women like to squeeze there.
[3:45] Why? Because the legs of the clitoris
[3:47] run through there. A lot of women like to rub up
[3:50] and down and you know, you can try to.
[3:55] That's a great place to practice mindfulness.
[3:58] There's no one else to monitor. How are they thinking?
[4:01] How are they feeling? It's just you and you.
[4:04] So it's a great place to really learn to focus on sensations and
[4:10] use some Lube because vulvas are not most that meant to be
[4:14] touched dry and just have fun. You don't have to have the goal
[4:18] of orgasming, but most people will if they touch and figure
[4:23] out what they like. But then number one suggestion,
[4:30] get a clitoral vibrator. There was a study with an
[4:35] orgasmic women. There's been a lot of studies
[4:37] actually. Women who'd never had an orgasm
[4:40] gave them knowledge of their bodies.
[4:42] A clitoral or a clitoral vibrator. 93% became orgasmic
[4:46] pretty immediately. These are the best tools.
[4:50] Doctors are prescribing them. Here's something that wasn't in
[4:54] the book that's been discovered since the book came out.
[4:58] We have special corpuscles in our vulvas that respond exactly
[5:04] to vibration, so in there in our fingers too.
[5:07] If they're not on our forehead, this turns on.
[5:09] Can you hear? It Yeah, Well, I love this is
[5:11] your airing. Yeah, so I'm going to ask you to
[5:14] do it too, if you would. Yeah, OK.
[5:16] Hold that to your forehead. Do you see if you feel it?
[5:22] Oh yeah, OK. So I've got on my forehead right
[5:25] now. OK.
[5:26] Does it feel? Do you, how does it feel?
[5:28] Is it kind of OK? Now put it on your fingertip.
[5:33] OK. Does it feel more intense?
[5:39] No. It doesn't.
[5:42] OK. Put it a little higher up on
[5:43] your. Forehead, OK.
[5:49] Yeah. OK.
[5:50] So up here we don't have very many of those corpuscles, so you
[5:53] probably just felt buzzing, but on your finger you might feel
[5:57] more. Well, there's tons of these on
[6:00] the vulva. Tons of them.
[6:03] And. And so basically, if most women
[6:09] who use clitoral vibrators orgasm, where do you use it?
[6:13] On the hood, to the side, on the lips.
[6:17] And guess what? Penises have these corpuscles
[6:20] too. So when I tell men, if she uses
[6:26] a vibrator while your penis is parked anywhere down there,
[6:30] you're going to catch what I call vicarious vibrations.
[6:34] Because your penis has these perceptors too, and you're going
[6:38] to love it. In fact, we're starting to make
[6:40] sex toys for erectile dysfunction with vibration.
[6:43] The penis and the clitoris love vibration.
[6:48] And you know, women who use vibrators have more orgasms,
[6:52] easier orgasms. They have more life
[6:54] satisfaction, they have less depression.
[6:58] Women whose male partners like their vibrator use are more
[7:01] sexually satisfied. And they won.
[7:04] There was one study, I love this study, they gave vibrators to
[7:08] men who'd never use one with a woman.
[7:10] They said use it twice a week for four months.
[7:12] Then they interviewed them. The men said it was really
[7:15] exciting for novelty's sake was really exciting because she got
[7:20] more excited. It was really exciting because I
[7:23] felt the vibrations on my penis and it enhanced our intimacy
[7:27] because we had to talk about it. Thank you for listening to this
[7:33] Be Well moment. If it resonated, the full
[7:35] conversation is LinkedIn, the show notes, and I hope it gave
[7:39] you a small pause to take a moment for you and to reconnect
[7:43] to living well and being well. If you loved it, please do leave
[7:46] a review, follow the show or share this maybe with someone
[7:50] you love.

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