# Questions In Dating (Guest: Rob Howard)

An episode of [Dear Future Wifey](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1506095537), 3 Dec 2025, 1 h 30 min.

Audio: https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/78a347aa-3282-4ac5-837c-a72300032082/293692a5-5b4e-44f3-89a3-b172011fe37c/fbf1c30b-b238-47a9-ab46-b3a8005d94a1/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=ae4e871a-36ca-4d76-83c3-b172011fe393

In this episode of the Dear Future Wifey Podcast, host Laterras talks with Rob Howard about his journey to finding love and his views on marriage. Rob shares his thoughts on what he's looking for in a partner, including a business partner. He also discusses his past relationships, including a high school girlfriend who cheated on him, and how that experience shaped his views on love and commitment. Additionally, he talks about his current life as a single father and his desire to find a partner who can be a good teammate. 📸 CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST https://www.instagram.com/mrhoward365/ PRE-ORDER LATERRAS R. WHITFIELD'S "STUDENT OF LOVE" https://a.co/d/bx0E1iv WANNA SEE BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE? JOIN MY PATREON https://www.Patreon.com/laterrasrwhitfield SIGN UP FOR THE MAILING LIST https://bit.ly/LRWconnection PURCHASE "YOU (Dear Future Wifey)" Theme Song http://itunes.apple.com/album/id/1729993404 👑 SUPPORT OUR CAUSE Donate to Kingdom Royale: Empowering foster kids to become royalty: https://www.KingdomRoyale.com 👕 MERCH https://www.DearFutureWifey.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: When a man says what do you bring to the table, women,
[0:03] Speaker 1: especially a certain type of woman, finds it disrespectful. She
[0:07] Speaker 1: assumes negative intentions instead of trying to understand what is
[0:10] Speaker 1: he asking you?
[0:10] Speaker 2: A single man, you got this platform, you got all
[0:13] Speaker 2: these choices of women.
[0:15] Speaker 3: You're the problem. Why aren't you married?
[0:17] Speaker 1: And my part of the problem, absolutely, Rob, while you're
[0:19] Speaker 1: part of the problem because I'm crazy, I'm picky, I
[0:21] Speaker 1: am special, ain't nothing like me and I don't work normal.
[0:23] Speaker 1: But the truth is, I think that marriage is a
[0:25] Speaker 1: legal contract, and I'm looking for a business partner as
[0:28] Speaker 1: much as I'm looking for a beautiful woman, a sex partner,
[0:31] Speaker 1: a friend, somebody who I can confide in, and all
[0:33] Speaker 1: those things are great. At the end of the day,
[0:35] Speaker 1: if we can't negotiate the terms of this deal, I'm
[0:37] Speaker 1: not signing a contract.
[0:38] Speaker 3: So the deal that you want, Rob.
[0:40] Speaker 1: I want a good teammate. I want a good business partner,
[0:43] Speaker 1: not just in theory, but in practice as the character
[0:46] Speaker 1: that I believe is a good partner to what I
[0:48] Speaker 1: think I bring to the marriage deal. Welcome to a
[0:51] Speaker 1: Diffuture WIFEI podcast. My homie Rob Howard is in the building.
[0:55] Speaker 1: What's the building.
[0:55] Speaker 3: What's going on?
[0:56] Speaker 1: Bro? When I think about a marriage, I don't have
[0:58] Speaker 1: a problem loving, I don't have a problem serving.
[1:00] Speaker 3: I don't have a problem committing.
[1:02] Speaker 1: All the things that a person might say on that
[1:03] Speaker 1: side of the deal, like, hey, this is what I'm
[1:05] Speaker 1: looking for.
[1:06] Speaker 3: Cool? What are you willing to do?
[1:07] Speaker 1: Because it sounds like you're committed to ring wedding title,
[1:11] Speaker 1: my job. Ye, a good charlatan will try to enter
[1:13] Speaker 1: into a deal without any scope of work or responsibility.
[1:17] Speaker 3: Absolutely. Have you ever been close to marriage? Man? So close?
[1:20] Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna be the first hommy in
[1:22] Speaker 1: the group to get married, and I'm the last on
[1:24] Speaker 1: me on the downiest that.
[1:26] Speaker 3: You try to fight for.
[1:27] Speaker 1: No, I don't want to fight for nothing. I'm not
[1:29] Speaker 1: trying to fight with I'm not trying to fight towards
[1:31] Speaker 1: all of these terms.
[1:32] Speaker 3: Brothers.
[1:32] Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk about anything that you respecting your life
[1:35] Speaker 1: and value? You be fighting for your health? Do you
[1:37] Speaker 1: be fighting for yourselfation? Do you give up too soon?
[1:40] Speaker 3: Yeah? I see it coming. There's science. You don't get mad.
[1:44] Speaker 1: If if God whispering your it's over, I don't be
[1:47] Speaker 1: like what no, oh knowing God?
[1:50] Speaker 2: If you've met the person that you desire to marry,
[1:53] Speaker 2: and you like, I cannot live without this woman.
[1:56] Speaker 3: How long will it take you to marriage?
[2:00] Speaker 1: The Dear Future WiFi podcast has global impact from Texas.
[2:04] Speaker 1: I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,
[2:07] Speaker 1: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.
[2:11] Speaker 1: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,
[2:16] Speaker 1: founding authentic spirituality.
[2:19] Speaker 3: California.
[2:20] Speaker 1: I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,
[2:23] Speaker 1: and continue to learn so much as now a married
[2:27] Speaker 1: man Nigeria.
[2:29] Speaker 3: This is just therapy for me. You know, I've been healed,
[2:31] Speaker 3: I've been strengthen in my convictions on the sto to
[2:34] Speaker 3: do single hoopitsa.
[2:36] Speaker 1: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible
[2:40] Speaker 1: for a man to be as intentional as you are
[2:45] Speaker 1: New Jersey.
[2:45] Speaker 3: I appreciate your vulnerability.
[2:47] Speaker 1: I appreciate just being able to see that there is
[2:50] Speaker 1: life after divorce.
[2:51] Speaker 3: To New York, I am a single woman, so these
[2:54] Speaker 3: episodes really give me hope and courage that God does
[2:57] Speaker 3: have a husband for me.
[2:59] Speaker 1: Discover, uncover and recover love. I'm latera Saar Whitfield and
[3:03] Speaker 1: this is season ten of the Dear Future WiFi Podcasts.
[3:09] Speaker 2: Welcome to a diff Future Wifie podcast. I'm your host
[3:11] Speaker 2: latera Sar Whitfield. Listen, are you still shacking up with us?
[3:14] Speaker 2: If you're still shacking up with us, can we get
[3:15] Speaker 2: a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure
[3:19] Speaker 2: you're telling your notification bells you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.
[3:24] Speaker 1: Hey, listen, I got a book. I got a book
[3:28] Speaker 1: that's coming.
[3:28] Speaker 2: Out, Student of Love, and I think everybody needs to
[3:32] Speaker 2: purchase this book.
[3:33] Speaker 3: Let's drive these pre orders up.
[3:35] Speaker 2: And the reason why I say this book is so
[3:37] Speaker 2: powerful is that it doesn't just deal with romantic relationships,
[3:41] Speaker 2: but all relationships.
[3:43] Speaker 3: It teaches us how to.
[3:44] Speaker 1: Love better, love our family better, love our friends better,
[3:48] Speaker 1: and even love strangers better. And we actually unlearn and
[3:52] Speaker 1: relearn what love really is.
[3:55] Speaker 2: Powerful, powerful book. Matter of fact, some of y'all may
[3:59] Speaker 2: know Rachel. Rachel is one of the She was my
[4:03] Speaker 2: ghostwriter as I was writing this book, and she was
[4:05] Speaker 2: arguing with me about some things in the book.
[4:07] Speaker 3: She said, I don't agree with this. I don't agree
[4:09] Speaker 3: with that. I said, Rachel, was the last time you've
[4:10] Speaker 3: been on to day? She told me it's been years.
[4:13] Speaker 3: I said, Okay, now, just listen to the principles, the
[4:16] Speaker 3: principles in this book, and let's see if it changes.
[4:19] Speaker 1: Man.
[4:19] Speaker 2: That girl got married before I did, got married in July,
[4:23] Speaker 2: and we had this conversation earlier part of this year,
[4:26] Speaker 2: and so powerful, powerful testimony of it. Matter of fact,
[4:31] Speaker 2: watched the trailer right now. I was married, cheated, blocked
[4:37] Speaker 2: out of marriage.
[4:39] Speaker 1: These eyes have seen the pain of failure but also
[4:43] Speaker 1: the possibility of redemption. These years have heard the lies
[4:48] Speaker 1: you'll never change, but they've also caught the whisper of truth.
[4:53] Speaker 1: But Terris, you can learn love on the level you've
[4:57] Speaker 1: never known. This finger once carried a vow I wasn't
[5:02] Speaker 1: ready to honor. Today is empty, but it's unashamed. It's
[5:07] Speaker 1: waiting under covenant. I'll protect with wisdom. I'm no expert.
[5:13] Speaker 1: I'm just a fellow student. I've sat in Love's classroom,
[5:18] Speaker 1: even spend time with detention.
[5:20] Speaker 3: But now I live with intention.
[5:22] Speaker 1: That's why I wrote Student of Love, because learning love
[5:26] Speaker 1: never ends. Sit next to me and cheat off of
[5:29] Speaker 1: my paper. Cheat, Tony shall use a better word. Let's
[5:35] Speaker 1: just cut to the chase. Pre order this book and
[5:37] Speaker 1: start the Journey on becoming a true Student of Love class.
[5:42] Speaker 3: It's now in session.
[5:50] Speaker 1: Visit the link of the description. Get the book Student
[5:52] Speaker 1: of Love. It will bless your life.
[5:55] Speaker 2: I really like it when I get opportunities to talk
[5:57] Speaker 2: to brothers on the podcast. It's always hard for me
[5:59] Speaker 2: to get men on the podcat because a lot of
[6:00] Speaker 2: men don't want to be vulnerable, they don't be transparent,
[6:03] Speaker 2: and then they say, man, I'm gonna come with your podcast.
[6:06] Speaker 3: Everybody sees your podcasts.
[6:07] Speaker 2: I may be juggling different women and it's gonna get
[6:10] Speaker 2: me in trouble if you ask me certain questions.
[6:12] Speaker 1: And so I always love it when people are vulnerable
[6:15] Speaker 1: and transparent. And so today I have my homie on
[6:19] Speaker 1: the podcast. Welcome to Differ Twipey podcast. My homie, Rob
[6:23] Speaker 1: Howard is in the building.
[6:24] Speaker 3: What's the building, what's going on? What's happening. I'm blissed.
[6:28] Speaker 3: So my publish is Candice.
[6:31] Speaker 2: When I say, she loves your platform, and she sent
[6:35] Speaker 2: me a link to it, she says, you got to
[6:37] Speaker 2: get him. You said you want more men, You got
[6:38] Speaker 2: to get him. She loves what you've been doing, creating
[6:41] Speaker 2: spaces for even single people to date, asking those questions
[6:47] Speaker 2: that are conversation starters. You have a whole theory, platform, cards,
[6:54] Speaker 2: all this type of stuff that you do to help
[6:57] Speaker 2: drum up conversations and get people engaged and and I
[7:00] Speaker 2: actually absolutely love it.
[7:01] Speaker 1: So let me ask you this real quick. How did
[7:03] Speaker 1: you start doing what you do? I've been a facilitator
[7:08] Speaker 1: for twenty five years. Facilitator as you call it, facilitator, Yeah, facilitator.
[7:12] Speaker 1: Some of who asked questions uses questions to teach, to mediate,
[7:17] Speaker 1: to help people heal. I believe that's my duty for
[7:22] Speaker 1: my life, like my purpose. And when I was looking
[7:25] Speaker 1: at getting into content creation, one of my best friends
[7:28] Speaker 1: shout outs to my boy Mac. He was at a
[7:31] Speaker 1: training that I was doing and we were talking about
[7:33] Speaker 1: his content. He said, stop giving me advice on how
[7:37] Speaker 1: to run a YouTube do all this stuff if you're
[7:39] Speaker 1: not going to do it, like this is early in
[7:41] Speaker 1: our friendship too.
[7:42] Speaker 3: And I was like, I really, I'm trying. I just
[7:44] Speaker 3: have you equipment. I got kept.
[7:46] Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, and he was like,
[7:48] Speaker 1: do what you just did it? Then I was like, huh,
[7:53] Speaker 1: maybe I could do that. So it was me bringing
[7:55] Speaker 1: questions because I knew I could do a question every day. Yeah,
[7:59] Speaker 1: because I had in my mind I wanted to post
[8:02] Speaker 1: at least one video every day, and I was like,
[8:04] Speaker 1: what could I do? And the answer was clear, I
[8:07] Speaker 1: could ask a question every day that can help people
[8:09] Speaker 1: either have a conversation with somebody, make a decision about
[8:13] Speaker 1: something or somebody, or even reflect more about themselves, like
[8:19] Speaker 1: learn more about themselves.
[8:22] Speaker 3: Where are you in regards to relationships? Are you dating?
[8:27] Speaker 1: Are you single? Are you engaged married? What's your relationship status?
[8:31] Speaker 3: Single? Single?
[8:33] Speaker 1: Do you desire marriage? Absolutely? Why? Because I'm crazy. We're
[8:39] Speaker 1: gonna be real today. I'm insane. I think that there's
[8:44] Speaker 1: a purpose for marriage, and I don't want to do
[8:47] Speaker 1: what I see other people doing in marriage. It's like
[8:49] Speaker 1: seeing somebody else with a nice car. It's like, that's
[8:51] Speaker 1: nice for you, Yep, I don't want that for me.
[8:54] Speaker 1: I want this one, this type, and I believe that
[9:00] Speaker 1: I will be blessed by it. I'm a father. I
[9:02] Speaker 1: believe that my family will be blessed by marriage partnership.
[9:06] Speaker 1: I believe that my community will be blessed. I also
[9:09] Speaker 1: know that eighty percent of successful.
[9:11] Speaker 3: Men are married. Absolutely. Amen.
[9:15] Speaker 1: So there's a lot of reasons for it, but I
[9:19] Speaker 1: take it serious. So I've been very very very very
[9:24] Speaker 1: very careful, Hey.
[9:26] Speaker 2: Very careful of getting married. Yeah, so you said you've
[9:29] Speaker 2: been very very very careful of getting married.
[9:33] Speaker 3: How many kids you have have too? Were you careful
[9:35] Speaker 3: in having kids? Yeah?
[9:36] Speaker 1: I was intentional about that, you did, absolutely, So you said,
[9:40] Speaker 1: I want these kids. Did you want the mamas at
[9:44] Speaker 1: the time, so you were planning on Did you have
[9:47] Speaker 1: any desire of marrying them?
[9:48] Speaker 3: Absolutely?
[9:49] Speaker 1: So you had desires to marry Are they different women
[9:52] Speaker 1: of the same two mothers? So two mothers, and so
[9:55] Speaker 1: you were intentional about marrying them.
[9:57] Speaker 2: And let me ask you this. I don't be like
[10:01] Speaker 2: and ask and why didn't work out? Yeah, but because
[10:04] Speaker 2: that's none of my business. But the reality is, what
[10:06] Speaker 2: did you learn from those relationships?
[10:09] Speaker 3: I learned to.
[10:11] Speaker 1: Ask different questions about myself more than asking the other person.
[10:14] Speaker 1: So like in dating, I ask questions to get to
[10:18] Speaker 1: know somebody, and I want them to get to know me.
[10:20] Speaker 1: But more than anything, I think that we have to
[10:24] Speaker 1: be honest with ourselves and some of the things that
[10:27] Speaker 1: I think that people are willing to hide, to not
[10:31] Speaker 1: talk about, to try to put to the side so
[10:34] Speaker 1: that it's nobody else's business, especially the person that I'm
[10:38] Speaker 1: trying to fall in love with. They're trying to paint
[10:39] Speaker 1: a picture, a facade of this is what it is,
[10:42] Speaker 1: and it's what I like, and it's what I'll do,
[10:43] Speaker 1: and this is how we'll be, and not talking.
[10:46] Speaker 3: About like who are you really? What are your patterns?
[10:48] Speaker 1: For real?
[10:48] Speaker 3: What do you desire? What do you like? What turns
[10:51] Speaker 3: you on?
[10:51] Speaker 1: What is a thing that maybe other people are cool
[10:54] Speaker 1: with because you're not cool, it turns you off and
[10:56] Speaker 1: discuss you or hurt your feelings. You're sensitive about that.
[10:59] Speaker 1: It's an other people. I don't really care about that.
[11:01] Speaker 1: It's a need for me. But also learning how to
[11:06] Speaker 1: communicate in tough times, like I think that because I'm
[11:09] Speaker 1: a conflict mediator, I go to some of the most
[11:13] Speaker 1: intense situations, even post murder. I've facilitated healing circles post
[11:18] Speaker 1: murder in the United States multiple times, gang interventionalists like
[11:22] Speaker 1: tough hr issues, racism, bullying, like all kind of stuff
[11:26] Speaker 1: things in corporate, thing with kid, things with community, things
[11:28] Speaker 1: with family. I cannot do my thing and have all
[11:35] Speaker 1: these people like, oh my god, that was amazing. When
[11:39] Speaker 1: I'm in tension and conflict with somebody, I have to
[11:42] Speaker 1: get to resolution. I cannot. You know, people I want
[11:45] Speaker 1: men are like I want peace and you need it.
[11:49] Speaker 1: I need it because how can I really do the
[11:51] Speaker 1: thing that I'm doing if I'm craving peace in my
[11:55] Speaker 1: life and healing in my own life.
[11:57] Speaker 3: So you were doing that when you were dating those
[12:00] Speaker 3: other women early in the career, So you've always done this.
[12:03] Speaker 1: I've been a fator for over twenty five years. Twenty
[12:06] Speaker 1: five years, yeah, yeah. Getting into conflict mediation was like
[12:11] Speaker 1: mid twenties. And then I had my son in two
[12:15] Speaker 1: thousand and seven, and I was clear that I was
[12:19] Speaker 1: a facilitator and not the other stuff that I was
[12:21] Speaker 1: thinking I can do to make money.
[12:23] Speaker 3: And then in two thousand and.
[12:28] Speaker 1: Twenty nineteen, my daughter was born, and that was like
[12:31] Speaker 1: an intentional like I want to be a father again.
[12:35] Speaker 1: I want to do it with you. I think that
[12:37] Speaker 1: we can make it. And she's a great person. We're
[12:40] Speaker 1: co parents. Shout out to my daughter's mom, and we're
[12:46] Speaker 1: doing the parenting thing really well.
[12:48] Speaker 2: Why didn't you put I don't know what your upbringing was,
[12:50] Speaker 2: but why didn't you put marriage before the kid?
[12:56] Speaker 1: Because it wasn't ever a law for me, I understand
[13:00] Speaker 1: the value of it. I would bring that as a
[13:03] Speaker 1: teaching to someone like maybe considered the order of this, Yeah, yeah,
[13:08] Speaker 1: and maybe considered Yeah, maybe consider that. But things don't
[13:11] Speaker 1: always go as My life didn't go as my plan,
[13:13] Speaker 1: I know it, right, Like business hasn't gone as our plan.
[13:16] Speaker 1: Friendships haven't gone as our plan. So even when I
[13:18] Speaker 1: have a vision to get somewhere, there's been some detours
[13:21] Speaker 1: and reroutings. You know in gens you put this location
[13:24] Speaker 1: in that joker, Yeah, they'd.
[13:25] Speaker 3: Be like rerouting. It's like dang, yeah, thank you.
[13:29] Speaker 1: But oh I thought it was gonna be a little
[13:31] Speaker 1: stop over here exactly.
[13:33] Speaker 3: Yeah. And so when you look back at let me
[13:36] Speaker 3: ask you this, how is it arguing with you by
[13:40] Speaker 3: you doing what you do? I'm cold? All right? So
[13:43] Speaker 3: I owe you.
[13:44] Speaker 2: I owe you five hundred dollars and you just saw
[13:49] Speaker 2: me buy some new JS and we friends. We've been
[13:52] Speaker 2: France for about fifteen years, and let's role play. Yeah,
[13:58] Speaker 2: I believe in direct I'm not pad A.
[14:00] Speaker 1: Couple of talk.
[14:00] Speaker 3: I just got I just got Majeorians.
[14:02] Speaker 2: I just got Majeorgian of what bro Yeah yeah, man, listen, man,
[14:05] Speaker 2: I stood in line all night to get these, bro.
[14:08] Speaker 3: I just had ship. I see them.
[14:10] Speaker 1: I just I'm kind of cool enough on my sneaker,
[14:13] Speaker 1: I still wear mine. Yeah yeah yeah, but look, man,
[14:16] Speaker 1: I see you with the new shoes. I'm happy for that.
[14:17] Speaker 3: Thank you, bro.
[14:18] Speaker 1: It's making me feel a way because I can't forget that.
[14:22] Speaker 1: I'll let you borrow some money that you were supposed
[14:23] Speaker 1: to give me.
[14:23] Speaker 2: Back, and I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get that
[14:25] Speaker 2: to you. Yeah, I'm gonna get it to you like
[14:27] Speaker 2: I'm talking about the end of the month.
[14:28] Speaker 1: I got you, bro, I got you here. Here's what
[14:30] Speaker 1: will work for me because when you called me for
[14:33] Speaker 1: what you needed, right, it was friendship. Yeah right, yeah,
[14:37] Speaker 1: with all due respect, when you put my needs and
[14:39] Speaker 1: my bills and my comfort to the side for your.
[14:43] Speaker 2: No you got money, don't like you hard up for
[14:46] Speaker 2: you to come on, man, five hundred dollars ain't ain't
[14:49] Speaker 2: put made you homeless or nothing.
[14:51] Speaker 1: No, it doesn't make me home. It's just respect, bro.
[14:53] Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Like, I define respect as the
[14:55] Speaker 1: god rule. Your mama Ma mama probably had the same teachings.
[14:58] Speaker 1: Every society has that thing, right the go to roof
[15:00] Speaker 1: for me? Is treating me how do I want to
[15:03] Speaker 1: be treated? Not you treat me how you want to
[15:06] Speaker 1: be treated and how I want to be treated. Is hey, man,
[15:09] Speaker 1: before you out here spending extra all things that you
[15:12] Speaker 1: don't got to have. If not, I can't be that
[15:16] Speaker 1: kind of a friend, it's gonna be a no if
[15:18] Speaker 1: we can't come to some understanding.
[15:19] Speaker 3: And it's cool if you can't. Now you don't my decision.
[15:22] Speaker 2: I would even have showed you these shoes if I
[15:24] Speaker 2: knew it's gonna be all that. You know what I'm saying,
[15:26] Speaker 2: My boy, You're gonna be happy for me because you
[15:28] Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. We know we you know it
[15:30] Speaker 2: was always about sneakers and stuff like that. We always
[15:33] Speaker 2: you know, where we grew up, we always had the latest.
[15:35] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
[15:35] Speaker 2: So I thought you over here making it about our
[15:38] Speaker 2: friendship and like I'm disrespecting you.
[15:39] Speaker 1: I ain't gonna never disrespect you like that. I don't
[15:41] Speaker 1: think you're intended it. I don't think you're intending to
[15:43] Speaker 1: disrespect me. Honestly, I think that that's not what your
[15:46] Speaker 1: motivation was. I don't want you to hear that I
[15:48] Speaker 1: think you're trying to hurt my feelings, be disrespectful, throw
[15:51] Speaker 1: us out of the friendship. I think you made a
[15:52] Speaker 1: decision I did, and the decision didn't make me feel good.
[15:56] Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Yeah, that's what it is. I
[15:58] Speaker 2: got you by the end of this month. We'd be
[16:00] Speaker 2: cool if I give it.
[16:05] Speaker 1: Right.
[16:05] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[16:07] Speaker 1: I like that you didn't ben, because that happens sometimes
[16:11] Speaker 1: when we're playing right. It's not a real situation. Jordan's
[16:13] Speaker 1: ain't on today. You didn't really borrow some money from me.
[16:17] Speaker 1: I don't know who you borrow from.
[16:19] Speaker 3: It wasn't me.
[16:20] Speaker 1: But I think what I wanted to show is I'm
[16:23] Speaker 1: not gonna waiver and how what happened made me feel exactly.
[16:27] Speaker 1: And I think the struggle is both men and women,
[16:30] Speaker 1: but especially men, struggle to focus on yes, your intentions, Yes,
[16:36] Speaker 1: your thoughts, Yes, your plans that I didn't know you
[16:39] Speaker 1: had a plan for the end of the month, How
[16:42] Speaker 1: it made you to you press me? Then I made
[16:44] Speaker 1: up by it right? How it made me feel. And
[16:49] Speaker 1: I think one of the struggles is we're not really
[16:51] Speaker 1: taught to own emotions, like if a training when I go, hey,
[16:56] Speaker 1: you have a minute right down as many emotions, words
[16:58] Speaker 1: that describe feelings as you can well grown ups and
[17:01] Speaker 1: our kids are like two.
[17:02] Speaker 3: Or three a struggle.
[17:06] Speaker 1: So my inability to communicate feelings is also a part
[17:09] Speaker 1: of my inability to be empathetic to other people's feelings.
[17:13] Speaker 1: So haven't even vocabulary to talk about feelings is a
[17:17] Speaker 1: part of like communication.
[17:19] Speaker 3: That's good, that's good.
[17:20] Speaker 2: And so you look at that with all the tools,
[17:23] Speaker 2: what do you think is the struggle? And I'm you
[17:27] Speaker 2: struggle loosely the struggle of you getting married or you
[17:31] Speaker 2: not haven't been married yet, because everybody's going to accuse us.
[17:36] Speaker 2: They did the same thing to me saying you're a
[17:38] Speaker 2: single man. You got this platform, you got all these
[17:41] Speaker 2: choices of women.
[17:43] Speaker 3: You're the problem. Why aren't you married? La Terris?
[17:46] Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm part of the problem. I'm not gonna lie.
[17:49] Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie to you. Am I part of
[17:52] Speaker 1: the problem? Absolutely? While you're part of the problem because
[17:55] Speaker 1: I'm crazy, I'm picky, I'm special. Some of my friends
[18:00] Speaker 1: like you lit autistic. It's like, yeah, those ablest me
[18:04] Speaker 1: like the same way you don't like racism. No, ablest
[18:07] Speaker 1: me like I am special, nothing like me, And I
[18:10] Speaker 1: don't work normal, Like the MANU was like, this should
[18:12] Speaker 1: do that, But no, my brain go, my body react,
[18:16] Speaker 1: my habits.
[18:16] Speaker 3: Be a little off. You know what I'm saying.
[18:20] Speaker 1: Just because I look like this don't mean I ain't special,
[18:23] Speaker 1: you feel, But the truth is, I think that marriage
[18:27] Speaker 1: is a commitment and it is a legal contract.
[18:31] Speaker 3: It is a deal.
[18:32] Speaker 1: And I'm looking for a business partner as much as
[18:34] Speaker 1: I'm looking for a beautiful woman, a sex partner, a friend,
[18:39] Speaker 1: somebody who I can confide in and support, maybe bounce
[18:43] Speaker 1: ideas and encourage me. Like all those things are great,
[18:45] Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, at the end
[18:46] Speaker 1: of the day, if we can't negotiate the terms of
[18:48] Speaker 1: this deal, I'm not signing the contract. So the deal
[18:51] Speaker 1: that you want, Rob, I want a good teammate. I
[18:53] Speaker 1: want a good business partner. I want somebody who, not
[18:58] Speaker 1: just in theory, but in practice, has the character that
[19:01] Speaker 1: I believe is a good partner to what I think
[19:04] Speaker 1: I bring to the marriage deal. Right, Like we talked
[19:06] Speaker 1: about what do you bring to the table? I use
[19:09] Speaker 1: that question to provoke on the internet.
[19:12] Speaker 3: I bet you do.
[19:14] Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, especially two twenty what happened one bro
[19:20] Speaker 1: like it became a content thing, and I knew that
[19:23] Speaker 1: my question, if I hit it, there would be a
[19:25] Speaker 1: reaction in my audience, and then new people will find it.
[19:28] Speaker 1: And I think that there's a struggle with when a
[19:32] Speaker 1: man says, what do you bring to the table? Women,
[19:36] Speaker 1: especially a certain type of woman, finds it disrespectful. She
[19:41] Speaker 1: sees a fence in it. She assumes negative intentions instead
[19:45] Speaker 1: of trying to understand what is he asking?
[19:47] Speaker 3: Even if he doesn't.
[19:48] Speaker 1: Use the right word in the right language and the
[19:50] Speaker 1: right term, right definitions, right perspective, like mine, what is
[19:55] Speaker 1: he trying to say? Because that's ultimately what communication is.
[19:57] Speaker 1: These are just words in the same langu which hopefully
[20:00] Speaker 1: in the same understanding.
[20:02] Speaker 3: But that hits a little different.
[20:04] Speaker 1: So when I think about a wife, when I think
[20:06] Speaker 1: about a marriage, I don't have a problem talking to someone.
[20:09] Speaker 1: I don't have a problem building a connection. I don't
[20:11] Speaker 1: have a problem loving, I don't have a problem serving,
[20:13] Speaker 1: I don't have a problem committing, being faithful. All the
[20:19] Speaker 1: things that a person might say on that side of
[20:21] Speaker 1: the deal, like hey, this is what I'm looking for?
[20:23] Speaker 3: Cool? Are you willing to do? What are you willing
[20:26] Speaker 3: to do?
[20:27] Speaker 1: What? How committed to you, because it sounds like you're
[20:30] Speaker 1: committed to ring, wedding title, status, life house. My job
[20:38] Speaker 1: that I can't get no days off on protecting and
[20:40] Speaker 1: providing and showing up and being an emotional support and
[20:43] Speaker 1: a thought partner and helping.
[20:45] Speaker 3: You with your business or your hustles or your studies.
[20:48] Speaker 3: What do you do?
[20:49] Speaker 1: Because if we were teammates in this podcast and I
[20:52] Speaker 1: was like, man, I look good on camera.
[20:56] Speaker 3: I smile.
[20:57] Speaker 1: This is my good side. I'll sit in this seat,
[20:59] Speaker 1: the cameras of there, I'm gonna sit over here. I'm
[21:01] Speaker 1: gonna bring this what do you mean bring to the table,
[21:03] Speaker 1: And he'd be like, brother, I also can smile. Yeah,
[21:07] Speaker 1: I need you to help you book guests. I need
[21:09] Speaker 1: you to help me pay for something. This stuff You're like, now,
[21:11] Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do this part. That's not a good partner, brother,
[21:14] Speaker 1: And let me just say to me, that's not a
[21:16] Speaker 1: good partner. Somebody's like, deal, yep, deal, because maybe what
[21:22] Speaker 1: I bring is so valuable that it kind of balances
[21:26] Speaker 1: the partnership. Like if I was like Kim Kardashian is like,
[21:30] Speaker 1: you don't got to set up no cameras, you don't
[21:32] Speaker 1: turn on no lights. You just do the thing because
[21:35] Speaker 1: you're a value of that. But I'm not looking for
[21:37] Speaker 1: a wife that brings value like that. I want some
[21:39] Speaker 1: tangible How do I hold you accountable? If we went
[21:43] Speaker 1: out with a with a group of women and they
[21:45] Speaker 1: were like, hey, bros, you didn't predict or provide out here,
[21:49] Speaker 1: like some drama happened. You was on your phone, You
[21:52] Speaker 1: was drunk, he was sleep he was lazy, he was
[21:54] Speaker 1: always not focused. I was looking at the door. I
[21:56] Speaker 1: saw the problem. You didn't see it. That's that's the
[21:58] Speaker 1: way to hold us accountable, like you didn't do the thing.
[22:02] Speaker 1: I think the good charlatan, a good charlatan will try
[22:08] Speaker 1: to enter into a deal without any scope of work
[22:11] Speaker 1: or responsibility.
[22:12] Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely, they.
[22:15] Speaker 1: Want you to promise to do, be very specific about
[22:18] Speaker 1: what you gotta do and what the rules are. If
[22:20] Speaker 1: you break it, then it's gonna be this. But I
[22:25] Speaker 1: don't know what my job is. I don't know am
[22:26] Speaker 1: I responsiblit. I'm not even sure about how to commit
[22:29] Speaker 1: to that thing. Besides intelligible things like love and kindness.
[22:36] Speaker 3: I can loving fun, those intangibles. I can't hold that accountable.
[22:42] Speaker 2: And so have you not found that in all these
[22:45] Speaker 2: years of dating, like you could have found I asked
[22:51] Speaker 2: you this when we did a pre interview, how have
[22:55] Speaker 2: you ever been close to marriage?
[22:57] Speaker 3: And what was your answering? Man, So close to what?
[23:01] Speaker 1: You ever have a real intention to go somewhere and
[23:04] Speaker 1: do something like I'm gonna go to the gym to day.
[23:05] Speaker 1: You pack your bag, you had your fit ready, you
[23:09] Speaker 1: put your pre work out, you might have took your
[23:10] Speaker 1: pre workout. It it's a oh emergency, I gotta get off.
[23:14] Speaker 1: I can't do the thing. It was to the degree
[23:18] Speaker 1: of you know what I'm saying, like we about to
[23:21] Speaker 1: take off and do the thing, a board mission all.
[23:25] Speaker 2: The way to the point ring purchase. Yeah, yeah, And
[23:28] Speaker 2: so you had a ring purchase for said woman and
[23:32] Speaker 2: then y'all got in an argument the month of the
[23:36] Speaker 2: proposal that you were going to surprise her and she
[23:38] Speaker 2: never ever knew that you had plans to propose her.
[23:41] Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a longer road than the just one month,
[23:45] Speaker 3: you know, thirty.
[23:46] Speaker 2: Days I'm talking about when you had the ring though. Yeah, yeah,
[23:48] Speaker 2: I'm talking about you had the ring.
[23:49] Speaker 3: And an idea of how I could do.
[23:51] Speaker 1: It, and it fell apart that the month of yeah,
[23:55] Speaker 1: and it's none of her business. Well, he says nothing
[23:59] Speaker 1: business like we talked about, like, well, did she know
[24:03] Speaker 1: that you tell her?
[24:03] Speaker 3: No?
[24:04] Speaker 1: I think that's manipulative. I'm so glad I ain't proposed
[24:09] Speaker 1: to get on one. I was about to do it.
[24:12] Speaker 1: You don't even know I bout a ring and everything,
[24:14] Speaker 1: sage seven solitaire. You have to go back. You have
[24:19] Speaker 1: to go to your l A thing. Yeah, you know,
[24:20] Speaker 1: when you hurt, you go there. I ain't gonna lie, bro,
[24:24] Speaker 1: I've been hurt before. I embraced my hurt. It's a
[24:29] Speaker 1: nice pillow. You went to all your whole little LA
[24:32] Speaker 1: thing on the dead hommies. If you say on the
[24:37] Speaker 1: dead hommies from La about anything, it's very clear, it's
[24:41] Speaker 1: very serious. How serious you are. I don't even know
[24:44] Speaker 1: how many hommies am I actually are actually dead, but
[24:48] Speaker 1: all of them, all of them dead, because all my
[24:49] Speaker 1: dead homies just come on them all off every time
[24:51] Speaker 1: you speak that.
[24:54] Speaker 3: On the dead hommies.
[24:55] Speaker 1: Bro.
[24:55] Speaker 3: And so that.
[24:57] Speaker 2: Happened where you hurt by the breakup, knowing that your
[25:00] Speaker 2: intent was to marry her. Yeah, yeah, but you couldn't
[25:06] Speaker 2: army songs every day. But why couldn't you say in
[25:08] Speaker 2: that moment, did you try to fight for it?
[25:11] Speaker 3: No? Why not? I don't want to fight for nothing.
[25:13] Speaker 1: I'm not trying to fight with I'm not trying to
[25:17] Speaker 1: fight towards all of these terms, brothers. I'll fight against amen.
[25:23] Speaker 1: I will defend and protect my heart, my well being,
[25:28] Speaker 1: my mental health, fight for it when you okay, let's
[25:33] Speaker 1: talk about anything that you respect in your life and value.
[25:36] Speaker 1: Do you be fighting for your health? You be fighting
[25:39] Speaker 1: for your salvation? Do you be fighting for your finances?
[25:42] Speaker 1: Like that sounds not, not like it's a good deal.
[25:45] Speaker 1: Do you be fighting for your friendships? No? I don't
[25:51] Speaker 1: want to fight for ma'am. Hm hmmm, so, so give
[25:57] Speaker 1: me another word. What could you have done? Could you
[25:59] Speaker 1: have pursued? We could have resolved?
[26:01] Speaker 3: Could you have so? Did you you could have restored?
[26:04] Speaker 3: Did you try to restore it?
[26:06] Speaker 1: I'm not mediating my relationship, ma'am, sir, people, family, aunties, cousins,
[26:11] Speaker 1: Where in my woo cameras?
[26:13] Speaker 2: Right?
[26:13] Speaker 3: This is me right here?
[26:14] Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not I'm not mediating. I'm not working my relationship.
[26:19] Speaker 3: Why not? Relationship takes work, they do. I'm gonna put
[26:22] Speaker 3: the work in. But you.
[26:23] Speaker 1: But if I'm not blowing apart, you know what, it
[26:25] Speaker 1: might be a traumatic traumatic wound I have had in
[26:28] Speaker 1: relationship with people I liked, women I was dating in
[26:31] Speaker 1: loving all in a good way from the wart. Yeah,
[26:38] Speaker 1: are you doing the thing that you do at work?
[26:40] Speaker 3: Don't like, don't bring, don't try to. I was right,
[26:43] Speaker 3: So that's what they'll say to you.
[26:45] Speaker 1: M M.
[26:47] Speaker 3: I understand.
[26:48] Speaker 1: If I was a mechanic and I was trying a
[26:51] Speaker 1: mechanic at home, why all of a sudden it's not valuable.
[26:58] Speaker 3: If I was a chef, don't you bring your cutlery
[27:02] Speaker 3: in here, your culinary skills.
[27:04] Speaker 1: It's just a jab and it hit me, and I
[27:06] Speaker 1: don't know if I'm at the way healed from it
[27:08] Speaker 1: and let it go.
[27:09] Speaker 3: Uh So I'd be like, I'm not doing it.
[27:11] Speaker 1: We can, we can hire somebody and that mediator, that
[27:13] Speaker 1: therapist better be could. I'm sitting there like, let me
[27:16] Speaker 1: see what you're doing, just like you role play.
[27:19] Speaker 3: I'm playing in this. You're critique that.
[27:23] Speaker 1: Not only am I I'm looking at her, I'm looking
[27:26] Speaker 1: at the professional, like, let me see how good you are?
[27:29] Speaker 1: How much is this cost to me? Because I'm paying
[27:30] Speaker 1: for it? And it's like, oh m hmm, I don't
[27:36] Speaker 1: like that therapist.
[27:37] Speaker 2: You'll be like that, do you do you've been you've
[27:39] Speaker 2: been in therapy with women before, yes, how often not
[27:43] Speaker 2: not very often. So if a woman finds you in
[27:47] Speaker 2: therapy with them, does that mean that you're really we
[27:50] Speaker 2: can't use fighting for the relationship. You're really giving tools
[27:54] Speaker 2: to You're trying to help make that relationship looking for.
[27:57] Speaker 3: Solutions for sure.
[27:58] Speaker 1: I'm trying to do what I can. That might be
[28:00] Speaker 1: for someone fighting for the relationship. But do you give
[28:06] Speaker 1: up too soon?
[28:07] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[28:08] Speaker 1: I see it coming. If you look at the clouds
[28:10] Speaker 1: of the sky, you can tell what it's gonna range.
[28:12] Speaker 1: Somebody got a dog to be working and acting weird.
[28:13] Speaker 1: Somebody be like, ooh my bons is hurt. It's it's
[28:16] Speaker 1: about to be a storm here, a hurricane coming. Like
[28:18] Speaker 1: there's science. Some people a holy spirit intuition a gut
[28:21] Speaker 1: told me, cool. You don't get mad if if God
[28:25] Speaker 1: whispering her it's over. I don't be like what it's over? No,
[28:32] Speaker 1: all knowing God, you wrong?
[28:36] Speaker 3: He said, all knowing God, Hey, guy who knows all things,
[28:40] Speaker 3: you gotta be wrong. I'm gonna show you.
[28:45] Speaker 1: I tried that before. I'm gonna show you me too.
[28:48] Speaker 1: I also don't want to do the might as well.
[28:49] Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever seen the might as well.
[28:51] Speaker 1: It's like I hate this one. They'd be like, so,
[28:54] Speaker 1: why why did y'all get married? Well, I mean we've
[28:58] Speaker 1: been together, we got kids, we live together. I ain't
[29:02] Speaker 1: with nobody else't want nobody else. Ain't nobody else want me.
[29:05] Speaker 1: We might as well have yet always cussed you had
[29:09] Speaker 1: to get out of here. Sorry, ma'am, be honest with yourself.
[29:14] Speaker 1: You might as well do I might as well it
[29:17] Speaker 1: no business. We might as well buy McDonald's to try
[29:20] Speaker 1: to do all the work and make a little what
[29:23] Speaker 1: might as well not do no business decisions for that.
[29:26] Speaker 3: We don't got to do that.
[29:26] Speaker 1: We could be in a loving relationship without that. I
[29:29] Speaker 1: want that, You want that. It gotta be right. Might
[29:31] Speaker 1: as well get you might as get out of here.
[29:34] Speaker 1: You might as well that. And if you might as
[29:37] Speaker 1: well as my friend, I'm gonna look at you like brothers,
[29:39] Speaker 1: it might as well as you. Sure let me know,
[29:41] Speaker 1: Blake Twice's day of I'm be eating razors.
[29:45] Speaker 3: Here's the murtherers room.
[29:47] Speaker 1: I know it's hard to plan this wedding. Might as
[29:50] Speaker 1: well we just spent all this till we committed.
[29:53] Speaker 3: All these people are coming, are you might as welling?
[29:55] Speaker 3: You might as well? Oh don't you might as well
[29:57] Speaker 3: in here?
[29:59] Speaker 2: That would be terri believe sitting over there hours before
[30:02] Speaker 2: you walk down the aisle and be like, I really
[30:04] Speaker 2: don't love this woman like that. I might as well
[30:06] Speaker 2: get married to anyway. Yeah, I might as well.
[30:10] Speaker 3: No, it's no.
[30:12] Speaker 2: Would you tell your homeboy that? What would you tell
[30:14] Speaker 2: your homeboy if you were the best man? Y'all sitting
[30:16] Speaker 2: in the groom? But have you been the best man
[30:20] Speaker 2: of a might as well? No, that's what I'm saying.
[30:22] Speaker 2: What would you What would you say to him hours
[30:26] Speaker 2: before the wedding if if you started hearing that, might
[30:28] Speaker 2: as well language.
[30:30] Speaker 1: The same thing I just told you. You'll tell no,
[30:33] Speaker 1: smack him in his face and say shut it down
[30:34] Speaker 1: right now. If you're getting married for a might as
[30:36] Speaker 1: well you can, I might as well you stay married, Like, look.
[30:42] Speaker 3: Do some work.
[30:43] Speaker 1: You made a commitment. You know how expensive this is.
[30:45] Speaker 1: You know how this is gonna look. You know how
[30:47] Speaker 1: hard it's gonna be. You know what you're about to lose?
[30:49] Speaker 1: You know how bad it.
[30:50] Speaker 3: Is out here in these streets.
[30:51] Speaker 1: You think single little good because you over there in
[30:53] Speaker 1: the house with her. You think that the internet is tricky.
[30:55] Speaker 1: They're not out.
[30:56] Speaker 3: Here like that. Absolutely his toff Yep, you.
[30:59] Speaker 1: Might as well stay you sure, now, I might as
[31:02] Speaker 1: well that direction I'm not. Might as well in, then
[31:06] Speaker 1: might as well in. He'll get out of here.
[31:15] Speaker 3: Might as well. You might as well.
[31:17] Speaker 1: I can't be a good friend if I think, like
[31:18] Speaker 1: I told you, I'm a little special. If my brain
[31:20] Speaker 1: working like this, I'm notices and stuff like this looks
[31:25] Speaker 1: like a might as well. I don't know if this
[31:28] Speaker 1: is a good Hey, let me talk to you, brother sis.
[31:31] Speaker 3: Let me talk to you.
[31:33] Speaker 1: Oh God, And so you said that you're very very picky,
[31:37] Speaker 1: very When did you realize you're very very picky when
[31:41] Speaker 1: it comes to your dating life.
[31:43] Speaker 3: I'm very very picky with all things.
[31:45] Speaker 1: I know it.
[31:46] Speaker 3: But I'm gonna say when it comes to your dating life.
[31:47] Speaker 3: When they did a woman did a homeboy first girlfriend?
[31:51] Speaker 1: Sixteen years old? Really, she went to a different high school.
[31:54] Speaker 1: We didn't work the same job. I was picky. Then,
[31:58] Speaker 1: what you mean.
[32:01] Speaker 3: You want real?
[32:02] Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, So she went to a different high school
[32:10] Speaker 1: and I liked her hair. She changed her hair. That's
[32:19] Speaker 1: like my girlfriend or wife seeing me, me and me
[32:22] Speaker 1: with a beard, and I was just like shaving it
[32:24] Speaker 1: Up'm shaving up.
[32:25] Speaker 3: No conversation. I was like, ooh, you still you?
[32:33] Speaker 1: But I got a preference and I don't want to
[32:36] Speaker 1: deny my There's a lot of stuff I don't care about,
[32:38] Speaker 1: but the stuff that I do care about, I am
[32:40] Speaker 1: standing on the thing I care about and what you
[32:43] Speaker 1: say to this woman, what we gonna do, and how
[32:49] Speaker 1: committed are we to be in a relationship. It's not
[32:51] Speaker 1: like you in the youth, and I gotta deal with
[32:53] Speaker 1: the you, and that's the relationship.
[32:55] Speaker 3: I don't want to do that. So maybe this is
[32:57] Speaker 3: a good thing to happen.
[32:58] Speaker 1: We can talk about big decisions like I'm not gonna
[33:02] Speaker 1: just apply to a college without talking to you about
[33:04] Speaker 1: what could that look like for our relationship? Right, I'm
[33:07] Speaker 1: not gonna just get a different job with a wild
[33:08] Speaker 1: schedule or takes me farther away from commuting when I'm consulting, Like, hey,
[33:13] Speaker 1: do you think that's gonna be a problem a deal breaker?
[33:16] Speaker 1: Like how would you feel if I was less available?
[33:19] Speaker 1: How did you feel if I made less money. How'd
[33:21] Speaker 1: you feel if I was working at the strip club?
[33:23] Speaker 1: How'd you feel?
[33:23] Speaker 3: Like, Rob, what did you say to this girl? How
[33:26] Speaker 3: do you feel about wigs and weaves? You said that
[33:29] Speaker 3: to her?
[33:29] Speaker 1: Yeah, she was like eighteen, was seventeen eighteen, and she
[33:32] Speaker 1: said what she was like playing on it? I was like, okay, cool.
[33:35] Speaker 3: I like braids. It was folox at that time. I
[33:39] Speaker 3: love some folcks. So she changed her from what to what.
[33:42] Speaker 1: She was one of them jail girls back in there,
[33:45] Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Slick it down, slick it back,
[33:48] Speaker 1: swinging ponytail. Yeah, I did too. Man, that was a move.
[33:52] Speaker 1: Let me tell you some A little swoop right there,
[33:54] Speaker 1: they'll put the little jail down swoop. Oh my god, man.
[33:57] Speaker 1: That was the first baby here. I wasn't really relationship with.
[34:01] Speaker 1: And I don't know if it was a baby here,
[34:03] Speaker 1: but it felt like just just slick down.
[34:06] Speaker 3: Oh they did something to you. Don't let it waves
[34:09] Speaker 3: in the in the Yeah. The way they put the
[34:11] Speaker 3: little pumping up scripts in the hair, there's no back up.
[34:14] Speaker 3: And I love.
[34:16] Speaker 1: Thirty forty year olds and be like, it's my time
[34:19] Speaker 1: to shine. Watch me with my sciatica I'm about to
[34:24] Speaker 1: kill him with the swoops pro style jail.
[34:28] Speaker 3: So she changed. What's the clear one? I forgot the
[34:30] Speaker 3: clear right? What is it? Eco style? You got an
[34:34] Speaker 3: ego style?
[34:35] Speaker 1: The baby hairs down, ma'am listen, I'm not against a
[34:40] Speaker 1: role player.
[34:41] Speaker 3: I'm gonna put that on the list.
[34:42] Speaker 1: Eco style by the kids is gonna be gone. What
[34:48] Speaker 1: you was talking about? Because she sl she slipped. She
[34:50] Speaker 1: slid her hair through some jail.
[34:53] Speaker 3: I had to boy, Yeah, I was pulling them, and
[34:55] Speaker 3: so she switched to her to what.
[34:57] Speaker 1: She cut it shorter, and it was like, they look
[35:01] Speaker 1: like you in Pe. You hurried too fast, You lean
[35:06] Speaker 1: back on this couch, your heart and the like. You
[35:08] Speaker 1: went to Pe third period. Now for the rest of
[35:10] Speaker 1: the day, you gotta explain why you look like you
[35:14] Speaker 1: ran three laps and you broke up with us? What
[35:17] Speaker 1: did you do? I still loved her, but did you
[35:19] Speaker 1: keep stay in a relationship with him? We ain't together. No,
[35:24] Speaker 1: she actually cheated on me. She cheated in high school,
[35:27] Speaker 1: so that was a bigger issue.
[35:28] Speaker 2: Yeah, she cheated, so it wasn't a picky by her
[35:30] Speaker 2: hair is because she had moral issues.
[35:32] Speaker 4: I think it was a decay. I think it was
[35:35] Speaker 4: a little cancerous. I think I think that was a
[35:40] Speaker 4: let me get my glosses. It's spent the rain in here,
[35:43] Speaker 4: like the storm was coming. If you will, and uh,
[35:46] Speaker 4: you know, God bless her hopes she's doing well.
[35:48] Speaker 3: She said that was a sign.
[35:49] Speaker 1: Yeah, relationships ending or relationships not going where I want
[35:54] Speaker 1: to go.
[35:55] Speaker 3: It's fine. Like I can feel my feelings.
[35:58] Speaker 1: I could feel sad, I could feel the missing, I
[36:01] Speaker 1: could feel the jealousy, I could feel the confusion. I'm
[36:04] Speaker 1: okay feeling I'm not. I don't drink, I don't smoke.
[36:07] Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel all of it. Be sitting there listening
[36:09] Speaker 1: to R and B songs like, why is Charsshommers singing
[36:11] Speaker 1: to me?
[36:12] Speaker 3: Brother?
[36:15] Speaker 1: Is this prophetic that you could you recorded this song
[36:17] Speaker 1: years ago? He says, you're telling my story, sir. What
[36:22] Speaker 1: was that called Thomas song? I wish I never met
[36:24] Speaker 1: HER's what we said. That's what he said. That's not
[36:27] Speaker 1: my words, but he when he's saying it felt good.
[36:30] Speaker 1: I'm singing along in my little baritone in the back
[36:33] Speaker 1: of the choir. You like it's you know it prophetic?
[36:37] Speaker 1: It's prophetic? If if he said it ninety nine and
[36:40] Speaker 1: then here I am two thousand and three feeling like.
[36:45] Speaker 3: It's a long time message. I'll tell you what.
[36:48] Speaker 1: Like this, like a sermon the pastor priests five years
[36:50] Speaker 1: ago and you just heard the tape today.
[36:53] Speaker 3: What he prophetic? So was that the first girl?
[36:57] Speaker 2: And when you say cheat, because high school is a
[37:00] Speaker 2: different type of cheat, she could just be talking to
[37:02] Speaker 2: another boy.
[37:02] Speaker 3: Did she cheat?
[37:03] Speaker 1: Oh, I can tell you. I'll never forget. Okay, Well,
[37:06] Speaker 1: this is what happened. That's how I found out.
[37:07] Speaker 3: Okay.
[37:08] Speaker 1: She had a job at an amusement place like rides
[37:12] Speaker 1: and kids carnival stuff, and she had late hours. I
[37:16] Speaker 1: had a job at like a mall, different hours. The
[37:19] Speaker 1: mall's clothes ain't gonna be there at eleven twelve o'clock
[37:22] Speaker 1: water cleaning up. And one of my best friends that
[37:25] Speaker 1: went to my school, she's still one of my best friends.
[37:29] Speaker 1: She went to the immuning place just randomly. And back
[37:32] Speaker 1: in the day we used to do pictures together. You remember, Yeah,
[37:36] Speaker 1: the foggy absolutely diffused. Yeah, yeah, it look like you
[37:40] Speaker 1: had a dream. Oh my yes, in the background probably
[37:42] Speaker 1: was a dream. It sort of blue and huge purple
[37:45] Speaker 1: or pink or something with hearts. Everywhere you pick a background. Yeah,
[37:50] Speaker 1: that's coming back to, he says, coming back to. So
[37:53] Speaker 1: what happened was I had given my friends at my
[37:56] Speaker 1: school me and my girl's picture and we used to
[38:00] Speaker 1: carry pictures in photo wallace, like the wallet size fell
[38:05] Speaker 1: right for family and friends and all these special pictures.
[38:07] Speaker 3: So my best friend knew what she looked like.
[38:11] Speaker 1: But my girl never met my best friend because she
[38:14] Speaker 1: didn't go to our school. And I kick on my
[38:16] Speaker 1: friend like at our house, my head, we didn't do
[38:18] Speaker 1: it like that. So she went to the amusement place
[38:23] Speaker 1: and she saw her, and she told me. On our
[38:26] Speaker 1: senior field trip to not to Very Farm, which is
[38:29] Speaker 1: an amusic park ironically with roller coasters. Though I'm excited,
[38:33] Speaker 1: you know, I'm having fun with my friends, and my
[38:36] Speaker 1: best friend told another friend.
[38:38] Speaker 3: Like, hey, Bro, when and should I tell him? And when?
[38:43] Speaker 1: And Bro was like, if you don't tell them, I'm
[38:45] Speaker 1: gona tell him. So they both came to me and
[38:48] Speaker 1: told me at the beginning of the trip on the
[38:49] Speaker 1: bus and they were like. She was like, I saw her,
[38:54] Speaker 1: I know it's her. I have the picture. This is
[38:56] Speaker 1: what it was. She was sitting up with him on
[38:59] Speaker 1: his lap. They was kissing. I was like on the lap.
[39:03] Speaker 1: Oh in the public eye. He was just so bold.
[39:08] Speaker 1: Oh that's a different cheat. It's a different cheat, a
[39:10] Speaker 1: bold sheet versus a I can get up with a
[39:13] Speaker 1: little shame in there. Yeah, give me a little shame, like,
[39:16] Speaker 1: don't cheat on me boldly confidently, like I ain't gonna
[39:20] Speaker 1: find out, Like God, ain't got a relationship with me?
[39:22] Speaker 1: Still like you like like no one saw you at
[39:26] Speaker 1: the day at a big amusement park. Yeah, and so
[39:31] Speaker 1: she a popular one and she took a picture with him. No,
[39:35] Speaker 1: she did what she was she's sitting around Yeah, and
[39:39] Speaker 1: and your friend just so happypen with her and then
[39:42] Speaker 1: told you about it.
[39:42] Speaker 3: And then what did you think? Did you believe it? Yeah?
[39:46] Speaker 1: Because when she I was like, what do you look like?
[39:48] Speaker 1: When she described him? I remember that guy? Oh you
[39:52] Speaker 1: remember them?
[39:52] Speaker 3: Yeah? And there was no reason for my friends allowed to
[39:55] Speaker 3: me about that.
[39:56] Speaker 2: And then when you confronted her about it that she
[39:58] Speaker 2: admitted damn what she sa?
[40:01] Speaker 1: She said, your best friend, won't you? And she lying
[40:03] Speaker 1: and was like why are you gonna believe her over me?
[40:06] Speaker 1: And you know we're teenagers. Yeah, I've cheated before, so
[40:10] Speaker 1: I know what it feels like to get caught.
[40:13] Speaker 2: You're talking about before her, after us, Yeah, but I'm
[40:16] Speaker 2: talking about before her. You were a good guy, that
[40:19] Speaker 2: type of dude that I give you my word.
[40:21] Speaker 3: We was gonna get married. We would first, girlfriend first everything.
[40:24] Speaker 2: And that's what you told her, and that's what you felt.
[40:27] Speaker 2: And then when she told you that she she just
[40:30] Speaker 2: lied to you.
[40:31] Speaker 3: Then what happened? How did it? How did you stand
[40:34] Speaker 3: on business? We broke up?
[40:36] Speaker 1: I broke up with her that day once we had
[40:38] Speaker 1: some tough conversations about it.
[40:40] Speaker 3: You were you trying to actively make it work.
[40:44] Speaker 2: So even when she said even though you knew she
[40:46] Speaker 2: was lying, you was like, man, I still don't want
[40:48] Speaker 2: to let us.
[40:48] Speaker 3: I stayed with a cheater before.
[40:50] Speaker 2: I'm talking about that. I want to go back to
[40:51] Speaker 2: that sixteen year old. And then she said, so how
[40:54] Speaker 2: long did you think?
[40:55] Speaker 3: It was? Probably a week or two at the most
[40:58] Speaker 3: she actually ever admitted in that week. But they became
[41:01] Speaker 3: boy and a girlfriend right after that.
[41:05] Speaker 2: So this girl sat there and said no, no, no, no,
[41:07] Speaker 2: no no no, And you were like, I know you, Lyne,
[41:10] Speaker 2: but I'm gonna keep you anyway. Yeah, and then you
[41:13] Speaker 2: just said forget it. I can't take it no more.
[41:16] Speaker 3: I can't take no more.
[41:16] Speaker 2: And you broke up with it and then you look
[41:18] Speaker 2: up and now she with the dude. Yeah, and what
[41:21] Speaker 2: did you think about the experience.
[41:25] Speaker 1: At the time. Yeah, at the time, I think it
[41:27] Speaker 1: hurt again. I think it hurt again. I think that
[41:30] Speaker 1: there was some ego in there where I didn't want
[41:32] Speaker 1: to lose, Like I feel like he took my girl,
[41:35] Speaker 1: Like how can he take my girl? Like what's better
[41:38] Speaker 1: about him? What's not good enough? I ain't cute enough,
[41:41] Speaker 1: I ain't tall handsome, and I ain't got muscles enough.
[41:43] Speaker 3: I ain't got enough. I don't got the s curl
[41:46] Speaker 3: back the.
[41:47] Speaker 1: Days curls, and then there was natural curls, like a
[41:51] Speaker 1: little bit of the genuine Yeah, like you got some
[41:53] Speaker 1: Indians showing up, but you go like this and they
[41:58] Speaker 1: go like this, some curls and then go right back.
[42:01] Speaker 3: Because he was using jail. I don't know if he
[42:03] Speaker 3: was using what's it ego?
[42:04] Speaker 1: Like he was using that s curl. Yeah. So yeah,
[42:10] Speaker 1: that man got my lady.
[42:12] Speaker 2: And so how do we think about that? And it's
[42:14] Speaker 2: interesting because you brought up something that we were It
[42:17] Speaker 2: brought competition early on in life. The song said it
[42:21] Speaker 2: it's like I'm gonna take your girl. I'm gonna do all.
[42:23] Speaker 2: The music was like, if you that dude, you can
[42:26] Speaker 2: take another. Uh even what's that song Usher says, don't
[42:30] Speaker 2: bring your girl around me? True playing for real as
[42:33] Speaker 2: my for real you know what I'm saying. It's like,
[42:36] Speaker 2: it's like it's a part of Bravado to say I
[42:40] Speaker 2: can take your woman. And we were programmed like that
[42:43] Speaker 2: and then maybe become the guy that a take a
[42:46] Speaker 2: man's woman when we realized that if a woman could
[42:49] Speaker 2: be took like that, what does that say about that woman?
[42:51] Speaker 3: Man?
[42:52] Speaker 1: Thank you for taking my lady, because I almost married
[42:53] Speaker 1: that lady. I was with a takeable lady. I was
[42:56] Speaker 1: in love with a takable lady who that a preach
[43:00] Speaker 1: better preach. I was in love with a takeable lady.
[43:05] Speaker 1: When did you get to a place of understanding that
[43:09] Speaker 1: she just wasn't your best and it wasn't about you?
[43:15] Speaker 1: So I was single and day they ain't having the player.
[43:18] Speaker 1: Life after that wasn't really focused on relationships. And then
[43:24] Speaker 1: I met an amazing woman and I was like, oh,
[43:30] Speaker 1: this is the reason why that didn't work out, And
[43:33] Speaker 1: how ore you at that point because it happened that
[43:36] Speaker 1: So you're in college. Did you in college?
[43:39] Speaker 3: All right?
[43:39] Speaker 2: So around that happened in high school around sixteen. Yeah,
[43:43] Speaker 2: and so around sixteen, and you like, forget it. I
[43:46] Speaker 2: ain't got I ain't giving none of the women by heart.
[43:48] Speaker 2: Then about twenty one, twenty two, you meet this other woman.
[43:51] Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, she can have it? Do you
[43:53] Speaker 1: want to let ma'am focus? Do you want this? I
[43:55] Speaker 1: got it. It's a little beat up, got some blessed
[43:57] Speaker 1: on it, Cheetos range de Rito corner.
[44:02] Speaker 3: But it's good.
[44:03] Speaker 1: It's a good heart. You said you can have it all,
[44:04] Speaker 1: you have it all. It's all I got. I'm broke.
[44:06] Speaker 1: At the time. I got a dream. I got talent.
[44:11] Speaker 1: I was able to hump. I can give you that.
[44:14] Speaker 1: I could drive. If you don't give you tired, you
[44:16] Speaker 1: don't gotta you don't gotta drive, I'll drive.
[44:19] Speaker 3: Did you say I know how to hump? Yeah? Yeah?
[44:23] Speaker 3: What do you have to offer? What do you bring
[44:25] Speaker 3: to the table.
[44:25] Speaker 1: I could hook you up if you needed.
[44:30] Speaker 3: So that's that was all I was offering. I was
[44:31] Speaker 3: giving it away for free.
[44:35] Speaker 1: I should have got paid, but at the time I
[44:37] Speaker 1: didn't know my worth. You know, you know high sight,
[44:44] Speaker 1: high sight, sir, You was doing work that's labor.
[44:48] Speaker 3: She wasn't getting that everywhere. So why you don't get paid?
[44:53] Speaker 3: Did you say you didn't know your work? I didn't
[44:54] Speaker 3: know my work. You should have been getting paid. Yes,
[45:01] Speaker 3: what's wrong with you?
[45:02] Speaker 1: Man?
[45:02] Speaker 3: I'm special man.
[45:05] Speaker 1: The way that the world looks from my seat, it's
[45:08] Speaker 1: different colors than y'all.
[45:09] Speaker 3: See.
[45:11] Speaker 1: I'll watch a movie with you and I'd be like,
[45:14] Speaker 1: why did they do that? You're like, Robers watched the movie?
[45:17] Speaker 3: You like the movie?
[45:18] Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like yeah, but I can't get over the
[45:19] Speaker 1: fact that that's the decision that they make. Why would
[45:22] Speaker 1: they do that? That's stupid? And so you tell this
[45:27] Speaker 1: someone wan what you brought to the table when you
[45:30] Speaker 1: show up? You say, here's my broken, shattered piece of
[45:33] Speaker 1: a heart. But you can have it all. You have
[45:35] Speaker 1: it all. What happened with that relationship? I broke up
[45:38] Speaker 1: with her. Okay, it sounds like a terrible story. Here's
[45:43] Speaker 1: the fast version. We loved each other and we had
[45:45] Speaker 1: a painful breakup because I was broke and she was
[45:51] Speaker 1: in pursuit of a career as a doctor and her
[45:55] Speaker 1: Nigerian parents were putting her through an elite school. Ain't
[46:00] Speaker 1: for her rent and paying for her car and her
[46:02] Speaker 1: cell phone and her food meal car because she was
[46:05] Speaker 1: smart and athletic and scholarships. But that school was very
[46:08] Speaker 1: It's one of the most expensive schools in California. And
[46:11] Speaker 1: uh what school was at U c l A U
[46:13] Speaker 1: c l A. I was up in there. I was
[46:15] Speaker 1: in that dorm room. I was in them. I was
[46:18] Speaker 1: using her meal car to eat when I was a
[46:20] Speaker 1: little hungry, you know what I'm saying, in them dorms
[46:23] Speaker 1: and then after that in the apartments.
[46:24] Speaker 3: Where was you at during that time? I was in college?
[46:27] Speaker 1: What school was you at? Cal State North Rich I
[46:30] Speaker 1: was pursuing my dreams and things were starting to get
[46:32] Speaker 1: better and getting to these victories, but it hadn't paid off.
[46:36] Speaker 1: And we were having the conversations about let's get married.
[46:41] Speaker 3: Really in college, I was gonna get married. I thought
[46:45] Speaker 3: I was gonna be the first honey in the group
[46:47] Speaker 3: to get married.
[46:48] Speaker 1: Now I'm the last homie on the day, homies on
[46:51] Speaker 1: the dead, the last, the last on the dead, the
[46:55] Speaker 1: dead hommies.
[46:56] Speaker 2: Uh so you was the lover of boy back then? Yeah,
[46:59] Speaker 2: you was the one everybody said he's.
[47:00] Speaker 1: Gonna be made. Yeah, it's still in me, but it's like,
[47:06] Speaker 1: you gotta be right. So we had a couple of conversations,
[47:10] Speaker 1: tough conversations about getting married and what that means to
[47:15] Speaker 1: be a husband, and I was like, look, I love you.
[47:18] Speaker 1: I do want to get married. Her parents weren't going
[47:23] Speaker 1: to approve her father specifically.
[47:24] Speaker 3: Because you're not Nigerian or the success level it was success.
[47:28] Speaker 1: There was some internalized racism, anti blackness in there in
[47:32] Speaker 1: our relationship for sure, and I understand it from his
[47:36] Speaker 1: experiences coming from Nigeria here and he wanted the best
[47:40] Speaker 1: for his daughter and he was paying a lot of
[47:42] Speaker 1: money to get her to a certain place. And he's like,
[47:45] Speaker 1: if you want to be her husband, then you take
[47:48] Speaker 1: over that responsibility. And I was like, I came in
[47:54] Speaker 1: these twenties and he was looking out for I have
[47:59] Speaker 1: a daughter. He's looking out for his daughter, like, you're
[48:02] Speaker 1: about to get to here, and if if you want
[48:05] Speaker 1: to get there, I got the route. But if you
[48:08] Speaker 1: want to go a different route to get there, on
[48:10] Speaker 1: you on your own. And I was like, and she
[48:12] Speaker 1: was willing to, and I was like you shouldn't. She
[48:14] Speaker 1: was you should willing to say, And I was like,
[48:19] Speaker 1: you should not. I love you enough to tell you
[48:23] Speaker 1: go get the degree. You look so good in the future. Doctors,
[48:28] Speaker 1: you're gonna help people? You don't You don't want to
[48:30] Speaker 1: help those people. Let me help you help those people. Yeah,
[48:35] Speaker 1: I was like, but they got better for you. I don't,
[48:38] Speaker 1: so why so.
[48:39] Speaker 3: Why why wouldn't you want her to gamble on you inferiority?
[48:43] Speaker 3: Like feeling inferior? And how would you feel about that?
[48:47] Speaker 3: Now though a woman meets you at whatever level you
[48:50] Speaker 3: at right now?
[48:51] Speaker 5: And oh that's hard, brow, Oh that's hard because I
[48:56] Speaker 5: have dated some doctors and so and all the lawyerness
[49:01] Speaker 5: and all the success boss ladies.
[49:03] Speaker 3: Yeah, wait, says hard.
[49:09] Speaker 1: You've been broken from Yeah, okay, you ever go somewhere?
[49:13] Speaker 1: In fact, I'm playing that. I'm playing a wedding right now.
[49:15] Speaker 1: What you you ever know your finance? A situation when
[49:19] Speaker 1: you go to a place that looks like, don't nobody
[49:20] Speaker 1: think about finances?
[49:21] Speaker 3: Yes? Like?
[49:23] Speaker 1: Who?
[49:23] Speaker 3: This is nice? What is this? He's picking up and
[49:26] Speaker 3: this I'm making life decisions? This is nice.
[49:28] Speaker 1: I've seen this on the Instagram on the reels. Uh,
[49:32] Speaker 1: who you got plaques? What that awards, saying that's a reso.
[49:37] Speaker 3: Yeah too. Oh yeah, my class sitting in their car like.
[49:43] Speaker 1: It's nice you want to drive rock Yeah.
[49:49] Speaker 3: This is actually really nice. I always want to drive
[49:52] Speaker 3: one of these.
[49:52] Speaker 1: These are so nice, And she might even say like, yeah,
[49:57] Speaker 1: you know, I always wanted one and this is how
[49:59] Speaker 1: I and I was like, oh.
[50:00] Speaker 3: I know how hard it is. Funnies must be nice.
[50:05] Speaker 3: Let me cast some money. Mhm. I could just I know.
[50:13] Speaker 1: Here's the thing that I think people don't they don't
[50:16] Speaker 1: do based on what we talked about in the prep conversation.
[50:19] Speaker 1: People don't shoot in their league. There is a such
[50:22] Speaker 1: thing as out of your league. There's a reason why
[50:24] Speaker 1: I'm boxing these weight classes. This is differ between the
[50:27] Speaker 1: professional basketball player and an amateur basketball player and a
[50:32] Speaker 1: local really good like at the park here, he's Toby
[50:35] Speaker 1: Bryant at the park. Yeah, let him get out there
[50:38] Speaker 1: with the other professionals that are you.
[50:40] Speaker 3: Go see, there's levels of this.
[50:42] Speaker 1: I'd be like, ma'am, I am going to have a
[50:46] Speaker 1: do you believe that though you believe?
[50:48] Speaker 3: Or out of here? So you tell me I'm not
[50:50] Speaker 3: there yet.
[50:51] Speaker 2: So you so you dated women that where you would
[50:54] Speaker 2: look at us out of your league.
[50:55] Speaker 3: They're dating down in my twenties and thirties, So it
[51:00] Speaker 3: is down to you just finances.
[51:02] Speaker 1: No lifestyle, ability, resources, intellect. You didn't down let me
[51:13] Speaker 1: be your friend right now, not not the person loving
[51:16] Speaker 1: on you.
[51:16] Speaker 3: You can do better. You gotta get to some steve.
[51:21] Speaker 3: Why you rocking with me is when I'm asking, I
[51:24] Speaker 3: know why you're rocking with me? That ain't gonna last.
[51:26] Speaker 1: That's because they got that out there too. So why
[51:31] Speaker 1: why why you don't think that? So you don't think
[51:33] Speaker 1: love is enough? Hm? Hmmm, why not? Because it ain't?
[51:37] Speaker 1: So you tell peop who love each other stop loving
[51:39] Speaker 1: each other. People love each other, stop being with each other.
[51:41] Speaker 1: People who love each other and stay with each other
[51:42] Speaker 1: don't like each other or want to be with each other.
[51:44] Speaker 1: They just don't stay. They don't break up. We might
[51:47] Speaker 1: as well stay together. How many more years of life
[51:49] Speaker 1: you think you got, Where do you think you're gonna go?
[51:53] Speaker 1: How much you think you gonna get out of me?
[51:55] Speaker 1: Might as well stay together? I might as well, So
[51:58] Speaker 1: listen you on me. In real time, you'll be dating
[52:02] Speaker 1: a woman that you consider audio league, and you're there
[52:06] Speaker 1: for what? Man, I'm looking for an exit? Looking why
[52:10] Speaker 1: why would you be looking for an exit?
[52:13] Speaker 3: Let her go?
[52:13] Speaker 1: I don't waste her time? Why because have you ever
[52:16] Speaker 1: had somebody say that I wasted my time? A?
[52:19] Speaker 3: Yeah, I should have. I should haven't? I should have.
[52:22] Speaker 1: It's like, all right, well, let's and learn. It's on
[52:25] Speaker 1: me to help you make decisions. I guess I gotta
[52:27] Speaker 1: lead you to breaking up with me. Huh, all right,
[52:30] Speaker 1: that's my job. I got it.
[52:32] Speaker 3: And Rob, this is not a bad job for her
[52:35] Speaker 3: to break up with you. So why do you get
[52:37] Speaker 3: with her? To begin with? Ego?
[52:39] Speaker 1: Desire? I want a Lamborghini? What are you talking about?
[52:46] Speaker 1: And then a Lamborghini? Turn itsef to me and open
[52:48] Speaker 1: this door I'm getting in. Man, you know where I live.
[52:54] Speaker 1: This is not really gold. This is played it. If
[52:59] Speaker 1: I open up Wells, spargo up and you open up yours,
[53:05] Speaker 1: you gonna know something you just don't know yet. Rob,
[53:09] Speaker 1: why does that matter? It's something in don't It's something
[53:12] Speaker 1: in you that made her attracted. Yeah to you, I'm amazing.
[53:16] Speaker 3: So so why would you self sabotage.
[53:19] Speaker 1: Self esteem, image, yourself, value of self? So it's a
[53:26] Speaker 1: woman out there right now that says I gambled on
[53:29] Speaker 1: him because I felt like, you know, he was a
[53:32] Speaker 1: type of man that I wanted, and he.
[53:34] Speaker 3: Didn't really give us a chance. Did not, didn't just
[53:37] Speaker 3: messed up? Rob? It is do you apply for all jobs?
[53:42] Speaker 3: Did you know that you're not qualified for it? No?
[53:45] Speaker 1: How about colleges? Did you I'm going to yet? Did
[53:47] Speaker 1: you tell people he was about to go to Yeale?
[53:49] Speaker 1: With your transcripts? I don't know what they were. You smart,
[53:52] Speaker 1: But I didn't go to college. I spent a day
[53:53] Speaker 1: in college. Come on, look at you still doing well?
[53:56] Speaker 5: Right?
[53:56] Speaker 1: But imagine if you knew you wasn't gonna be able
[53:59] Speaker 1: to go to college? Your thing, and you're like telling
[54:01] Speaker 1: people when they have some conversations.
[54:02] Speaker 3: But where are you going? U?
[54:03] Speaker 1: C L A. N YU, Hampton's and Howards and hey, hey,
[54:08] Speaker 1: where are you going Yale?
[54:11] Speaker 3: No? I'm not going nowhere.
[54:13] Speaker 1: I'm gonna be at the house, be on black planet
[54:18] Speaker 1: dot com and my Space? What what you talking about?
[54:23] Speaker 1: Tell you the truth? If they love you so much
[54:27] Speaker 1: that they're gonna be foolish's.
[54:28] Speaker 3: Just like now I'm good at joke, arethor because you're
[54:31] Speaker 3: a fool.
[54:33] Speaker 1: If you really if you really think this is gonna
[54:35] Speaker 1: and then you're gonna stress me out because I'm mean,
[54:39] Speaker 1: because you you sacrificed, you know, cause stress me out.
[54:42] Speaker 3: Not in my twenties and thirties. And so when you
[54:45] Speaker 3: dated those type of women, And where are they now?
[54:49] Speaker 1: Are they married? There are a lot of them married now. No,
[54:52] Speaker 1: there's tough out here. And I make sure when I
[54:56] Speaker 1: come through their house that first few times, even if
[54:58] Speaker 1: I know I ain't gonna be around along, I'm gonna
[55:02] Speaker 1: put an impression on this.
[55:04] Speaker 3: Listen, you're gonna remember me. Lah, was you just a
[55:09] Speaker 3: toxic dude? Is that toxic?
[55:11] Speaker 2: It is if you did if you over entertaining this
[55:13] Speaker 2: woman that you said is dating down but you have
[55:16] Speaker 2: no are nonprofit toxics?
[55:26] Speaker 1: Is?
[55:26] Speaker 3: Uh?
[55:27] Speaker 1: The home renovation shows toxic? Is the lottery toxic? There's
[55:34] Speaker 1: a church offering for a family of struggle toxic? We
[55:39] Speaker 1: are we doing the work of God. I think I'm
[55:40] Speaker 1: doing the work of God. I do good things.
[55:43] Speaker 3: Okay, what did we say? No, it's not toxic. He
[55:50] Speaker 3: is non prophet toxic.
[55:52] Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, listen, Oh God, oh God, he's not here. Okay,
[55:57] Speaker 1: So you're saying you were just playing your role for
[56:00] Speaker 1: the season that you're supposed.
[56:01] Speaker 3: To I'm doing good everywhere I go, all right. So
[56:04] Speaker 3: it's a I can't control outcomes.
[56:06] Speaker 2: It's the change that they want something from you and
[56:09] Speaker 2: you want something from them. You just know that the
[56:11] Speaker 2: it will come to an end, even if they can't
[56:15] Speaker 2: see it. I hear the music.
[56:20] Speaker 1: So what's the long as your lationship you ever been
[56:21] Speaker 1: in that you always knew it was gonna even last?
[56:25] Speaker 3: Would you be with people for a year? Two years
[56:27] Speaker 3: and stuff like that knowing that you you you ain't
[56:30] Speaker 3: playing it on them.
[56:31] Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of conflict. I'm not afraid of the smoke.
[56:35] Speaker 1: Once I know, I'm going to make a plan to
[56:38] Speaker 1: have a tough conversation. But I also know that's hard
[56:42] Speaker 1: for some people because there's never a good time to
[56:44] Speaker 1: break up. Of course, January you got New Year's in
[56:48] Speaker 1: February is Valentine's Deck, so you can't break up right
[56:50] Speaker 1: before Balancei's Day. And you got spring breaking looking at
[56:52] Speaker 1: us like we have vacations that we might be able
[56:54] Speaker 1: to go on or some fun stuff. Then you got
[56:56] Speaker 1: summers and graduations and RUMs.
[57:00] Speaker 3: Then you got.
[57:01] Speaker 1: School got started back up right, and then you have
[57:03] Speaker 1: the fall things and giving given matching a couple of
[57:07] Speaker 1: stuff to cut job. It's never a good time. Then
[57:10] Speaker 1: you got birthdays in between the anniversaries, and then you
[57:12] Speaker 1: back at Christmas. It's like, what month is a good
[57:15] Speaker 1: time to break up? None of them. I also know
[57:19] Speaker 1: that the stuff up is in life, like, oh, I
[57:22] Speaker 1: was supposed to go to that wedding with you. Oh
[57:23] Speaker 1: your family member got said, oh, someone passed away.
[57:26] Speaker 3: We were grieving. It's not a good time to break up.
[57:29] Speaker 3: So you might.
[57:31] Speaker 1: Hold it a little bit now you know you're about
[57:33] Speaker 1: to pack up your back. But I due respect, all
[57:37] Speaker 1: do respect. You don't say it right away, and you
[57:42] Speaker 1: can get mad at me for not telling you what
[57:44] Speaker 1: I knew you said, all due respect respect, said it
[57:47] Speaker 1: right away or prolong another six months? Yeah, because you're grieving,
[57:52] Speaker 1: you're graduating, you're going through a tough times. It's covering season.
[58:00] Speaker 1: You had plans.
[58:00] Speaker 3: You want to go for New Year's you want to
[58:02] Speaker 3: do the kiss. All right, well let's do the kiss
[58:04] Speaker 3: and you know.
[58:05] Speaker 1: Dog go, Well, you ain't gonna you don't want to
[58:07] Speaker 1: go in twenty twenty six with that person time out.
[58:10] Speaker 1: I mean, you'd be like I've checked out. You don't
[58:12] Speaker 1: quiet quit yep, I pre break up? What does pre
[58:16] Speaker 1: breakup look like for you? Start packing up your bags
[58:18] Speaker 1: and looking at other options and where I want to
[58:20] Speaker 1: move and what I'm wanna do. And I'm gonna say
[58:22] Speaker 1: it was a good time. If I could listen, if
[58:24] Speaker 1: I can plan a proposal, I can plan a breakup.
[58:29] Speaker 1: That sounds crazy to say out loud. That's one of themtisms.
[58:33] Speaker 1: If if if I could go, let me find out
[58:37] Speaker 1: her ring size, let me talk to the people in
[58:40] Speaker 1: her life about what type of ring Maybe that lady like,
[58:44] Speaker 1: let me think about us, she wanted to be private
[58:46] Speaker 1: with just us, or does she want to crowd her family?
[58:50] Speaker 1: Maybe I got to talk to her father, her father
[58:52] Speaker 1: figure to get permission, even though he ain't got no
[58:54] Speaker 1: authority to say she can or can't. We're both grown.
[58:57] Speaker 1: You ain't listen. You can't stop this me. She's gonna
[59:01] Speaker 1: say yeah, because I'm not proposing, not knowing, she's gonna
[59:02] Speaker 1: say yeah. So your objections really don't matter, sir. But anyway,
[59:06] Speaker 1: I got a plan. If I could do all of
[59:08] Speaker 1: that planning, I can plan a breakup. Rob.
[59:14] Speaker 3: Why you like this? Why you like God? They gave
[59:16] Speaker 3: me like this.
[59:17] Speaker 1: If you don't like it, you gotta talk to him.
[59:20] Speaker 3: I can plan a breakup.
[59:23] Speaker 1: People be freeest on and breakups. That's why it don't work.
[59:25] Speaker 1: You try to break up and they still together. It's like,
[59:27] Speaker 1: wait a second, did you then you say that y'all done?
[59:31] Speaker 3: Yep?
[59:32] Speaker 1: Whatever they said. No, they said nope, Oh you need
[59:40] Speaker 1: the permission to break up. Listen, Oh God, slippy, ask
[59:43] Speaker 1: you this.
[59:45] Speaker 2: If you met the person that you desire to marry,
[59:49] Speaker 2: they done went through your whole ten point check system
[59:53] Speaker 2: that you may have, and you like, I cannot live
[59:56] Speaker 2: without this woman. How long will it take you, marror,
[1:00:01] Speaker 2: from the day you met her and this moment that happens,
[1:00:05] Speaker 2: whether that happens the first month to month.
[1:00:06] Speaker 3: Yeah, I would.
[1:00:08] Speaker 1: I would get married as soon as we could, Like
[1:00:11] Speaker 1: if the marriage required six months of planning and finances
[1:00:15] Speaker 1: and checks in this contract gotta come because I gotta
[1:00:17] Speaker 1: pay for the thing. Then we're we're planning to get married.
[1:00:20] Speaker 1: We have a plan and a date. We would plan
[1:00:23] Speaker 1: in set a date. But if she was like, OK
[1:00:27] Speaker 1: no that yeah, okay, let's go to the court. Yeah,
[1:00:30] Speaker 1: who's the witness. I'm britty. Now they got witnesses there.
[1:00:33] Speaker 1: You would, yeah, you would get married that quick. Absolutely,
[1:00:36] Speaker 1: what is that time? Though you said, I ain't gotta wait, No, no,
[1:00:42] Speaker 1: you know, I know, and I don't expect marriage to
[1:00:45] Speaker 1: be perfect. Like you know we're talking, you know, it's
[1:00:47] Speaker 1: it's I'm talking on the topic. There's gonna be some
[1:00:51] Speaker 1: people who will listen to this or see a clip
[1:00:53] Speaker 1: and be like, see that's that toxic. They're not gonna
[1:00:56] Speaker 1: listen to the whole podcast full podcast listeners there content.
[1:01:02] Speaker 3: Then will go.
[1:01:04] Speaker 1: That's the problem, Like, that's the toxicity, that's the immaturity,
[1:01:07] Speaker 1: that's that mentality. If I met the person right now
[1:01:13] Speaker 1: in my gut, I know, I don't care if.
[1:01:16] Speaker 3: It makes sense to nobody else. That's good.
[1:01:19] Speaker 1: My closest friends that I've met in my adult life,
[1:01:23] Speaker 1: I knew immediately that that was gonna be my best
[1:01:26] Speaker 1: friend good. Like literally in the conversation we meet, we
[1:01:30] Speaker 1: had a moment. I go home to my lady, I
[1:01:33] Speaker 1: kick with the other homemy. I'm like, I know, it
[1:01:35] Speaker 1: sounds crazy, that's gonna be one of the hommies. That's
[1:01:37] Speaker 1: like one of the one of my best friends. Like,
[1:01:39] Speaker 1: who would be next to me at a wedding. I
[1:01:41] Speaker 1: knew without knowing depth in all the story and seeing
[1:01:45] Speaker 1: how they should, I was like, that's gonna be one.
[1:01:47] Speaker 3: Of my best friends. That's good.
[1:01:48] Speaker 2: And so you said, don't have to make sense to
[1:01:50] Speaker 2: nobody else, so that thing can be like you meet
[1:01:53] Speaker 2: them three months lady, y'all married.
[1:01:54] Speaker 1: Yep, you ain't scared of that. I'm not scared of
[1:01:58] Speaker 1: none of that. Also, don't have to explain nothing to
[1:02:01] Speaker 1: know about it. I'm so grown that part. If me
[1:02:04] Speaker 1: and that lady are locked and we ready to go
[1:02:07] Speaker 1: on that journey, I'm doing it and I'm not. I'm
[1:02:10] Speaker 1: not hesitating. I don't have no foot on the break.
[1:02:14] Speaker 1: If my foot hits a break, it's because some curves
[1:02:16] Speaker 1: is coming round some mm hmm.
[1:02:23] Speaker 2: If you ain't scared of it, you know I ain't
[1:02:25] Speaker 2: scared of it. You ain't want the people to say
[1:02:26] Speaker 2: you gotta go through all four seasons with a person.
[1:02:30] Speaker 2: You gotta do at least a year minimum.
[1:02:32] Speaker 3: You're live with them first. No like that.
[1:02:36] Speaker 1: No, no, because I don't expect marriage to be perfect
[1:02:39] Speaker 1: that I think I'm gonna be a person, she's gonna
[1:02:41] Speaker 1: be a person. I think that I'm going to be
[1:02:44] Speaker 1: different because I'm now married. It's gonna cause me to
[1:02:48] Speaker 1: become something different. It's gonna be a level of responsibility.
[1:02:52] Speaker 1: I'm gonna have some challenges and some struggles. I'm gonna
[1:02:54] Speaker 1: make mistakes. There's gonna be some hurt feelings. Sometimes we
[1:02:57] Speaker 1: have to have some tough talks. We're gonna have to
[1:02:59] Speaker 1: figure out out. I think that's what the marriage part is, right.
[1:03:02] Speaker 1: I'm not expecting perfect. But if I know on my
[1:03:06] Speaker 1: guts that this ain't right, why would I waste time
[1:03:09] Speaker 1: with a girl that I love? But I know on
[1:03:12] Speaker 1: my gut and I think that's a might as well too,
[1:03:14] Speaker 1: Like I ain't gonna let her go. I don't want
[1:03:17] Speaker 1: nobody else to have her. She's bad, she's smart, she's
[1:03:19] Speaker 1: about to be a doctor, she beautiful, she's doing that,
[1:03:21] Speaker 1: she's doing that or he did it. And it's like
[1:03:24] Speaker 1: this control possessiveness. I don't want a marriage like that period.
[1:03:28] Speaker 1: I'm not into possessing that part. That's not my goal.
[1:03:35] Speaker 1: Didn't see that coming, didn't see that you will be
[1:03:37] Speaker 1: I know I was trying to let it be just
[1:03:39] Speaker 1: all toxic. But to tell the truth, and Jesus name,
[1:03:44] Speaker 1: I'm a little a little complexity.
[1:03:47] Speaker 2: So you said that sixteen year old, that sixteen year
[1:03:49] Speaker 2: old boy still exists in that heart.
[1:03:51] Speaker 3: That heart ain't all harden.
[1:03:53] Speaker 1: I'll tell you right now. One of the things I'm
[1:03:54] Speaker 1: the most proud of is how protected my heart. Like
[1:03:58] Speaker 1: the scripture that's very clear about guarded, have your heart,
[1:04:02] Speaker 1: guard your own heart. Don't think somebody else is going
[1:04:04] Speaker 1: guard your There's some things that I just don't engage in.
[1:04:07] Speaker 1: There's certain things I don't watch, there's certain things I
[1:04:09] Speaker 1: don't listen to. There's certain things that I don't dig
[1:04:13] Speaker 1: in because I'm protecting my heart, protecting the way that
[1:04:17] Speaker 1: I think about marriage.
[1:04:18] Speaker 3: That's good.
[1:04:19] Speaker 1: Like, for example, there are people who cheated on their
[1:04:20] Speaker 1: girlfriend and their wife, right and now they have an
[1:04:24] Speaker 1: excuse for why they don't trust wives because they've had
[1:04:27] Speaker 1: sex with somebody's wife, and they're like, who's the same,
[1:04:31] Speaker 1: gonna do that to me? Never gonna let I was like, oh, oh,
[1:04:35] Speaker 1: I see how you hurt yourself self inflicted wound. You
[1:04:37] Speaker 1: shut yourself into him. You thought you was gonna pull
[1:04:40] Speaker 1: it out of shoot there, but you shot yourself. Sorry
[1:04:43] Speaker 1: for you, but you got to heal. That's crazy. How
[1:04:47] Speaker 1: you say sorry, yourself, so self inflicted, self inflicted. So
[1:04:52] Speaker 1: what you said the certain things you don't watch? What
[1:04:54] Speaker 1: do you not watch that protect your irrigates and eye gates.
[1:04:57] Speaker 1: I don't watch certain movies. There are certain directors and
[1:05:04] Speaker 1: writers that write certain things that look a certain way
[1:05:06] Speaker 1: and portray black love a certain way.
[1:05:07] Speaker 3: I don't watch that.
[1:05:09] Speaker 1: There are certain books that portray relationships and stuff. I
[1:05:12] Speaker 1: don't watch talk shows that are like in that stuff.
[1:05:15] Speaker 1: I don't watch certain interviews that are like that where
[1:05:17] Speaker 1: people get up there and they're talking in a negative
[1:05:19] Speaker 1: way about the thing or why they never ye, never
[1:05:22] Speaker 1: gonna get married, never gonna get married again.
[1:05:23] Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's not for me. I'm not the
[1:05:25] Speaker 3: artist for that. That's good.
[1:05:26] Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't listen to certain songs like I'm really,
[1:05:32] Speaker 1: when did you start doing that? When did you start
[1:05:34] Speaker 1: taking on that mindset? It's my pickiness. I've never had
[1:05:37] Speaker 1: a drink alcohol in my life. I've never smoked weeding
[1:05:39] Speaker 1: my life. There's certain things I've never eaten because I'm like,
[1:05:41] Speaker 1: I don't even want to like that. That's that looks crazy,
[1:05:42] Speaker 1: it smells funny. I don't like once I make a
[1:05:45] Speaker 1: decision that I'm not going to do that. I'm not
[1:05:47] Speaker 1: on that. So I've never drank a smoke and did
[1:05:48] Speaker 1: anything like that. What is your reason for never drinking?
[1:05:51] Speaker 3: My father?
[1:05:51] Speaker 1: I know it's in my family line. I know in
[1:05:53] Speaker 1: my mother's side there's addiction. And I was like, if
[1:05:56] Speaker 1: I'm going to be better than them and have a
[1:05:58] Speaker 1: different life experience I desire to have, I can't go
[1:06:02] Speaker 1: playing with the same elidence.
[1:06:05] Speaker 3: So that's the same thing for me.
[1:06:06] Speaker 2: Like, addiction runs very heavy in my family, and I
[1:06:09] Speaker 2: just made a decision.
[1:06:10] Speaker 3: That's sixteen years old.
[1:06:11] Speaker 2: I remember I told myself that I was gonna drink
[1:06:13] Speaker 2: when you turn twenty one, you know, And then God
[1:06:15] Speaker 2: told me straight up. He was like, no, I want
[1:06:18] Speaker 2: you doing that.
[1:06:18] Speaker 1: And I was like why And then and I shared
[1:06:21] Speaker 1: this story on the podcast. Before that, I went to
[1:06:23] Speaker 1: TGI Fridays, that's what it's called TGI Fridays, Last Fridays.
[1:06:26] Speaker 2: Who I just loved. Man, let me tell you something.
[1:06:29] Speaker 2: You used to tear them things up. And so I
[1:06:31] Speaker 2: looked on the back of the menu and it said
[1:06:33] Speaker 2: whine and spirits, and I said, oh yeah, spirits.
[1:06:37] Speaker 3: It's like, why would I go take a liquid demon possession.
[1:06:40] Speaker 2: So I was like, I just won't drink, I said,
[1:06:43] Speaker 2: because I started thinking to my brother, who I was
[1:06:45] Speaker 2: really close to. I ain't seeing him about twenty some years.
[1:06:47] Speaker 2: He's homeless and on drugs and all that. But at
[1:06:50] Speaker 2: that time we were thick as thieves. I was eighteen
[1:06:52] Speaker 2: years old, he was three years older than me, and
[1:06:55] Speaker 2: he was talking about how I will watch how he
[1:06:57] Speaker 2: would just change.
[1:06:58] Speaker 3: He would drink. He was a very quiet dude. He'd drink.
[1:07:01] Speaker 2: We getting kicked out the club because he's aggressive. He's
[1:07:04] Speaker 2: acting crazy, grabbing on women. He had type that he
[1:07:07] Speaker 2: real shy. He put that liquid courage in he grabbing
[1:07:11] Speaker 2: women on the booty and all that, and we get
[1:07:12] Speaker 2: thrown out by bounces, and I'm like, what is it
[1:07:15] Speaker 2: that makes this boy do this?
[1:07:16] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. And I was just like,
[1:07:18] Speaker 3: all right, cool.
[1:07:19] Speaker 2: So when I saw Spirits, I started recognizing how it
[1:07:23] Speaker 2: would transform the people that I loved, you know, and
[1:07:27] Speaker 2: how they would act differently.
[1:07:28] Speaker 1: And then God forbid. The next day we talk about
[1:07:30] Speaker 1: and it was like, I don't remember doing that. I'm like,
[1:07:32] Speaker 1: you don't remember, bro, man.
[1:07:35] Speaker 2: I almost had to fight the bouncer because you did
[1:07:37] Speaker 2: that for real, and then they wouldn't even know what happened.
[1:07:39] Speaker 3: That scared me. I said, how in the world do
[1:07:42] Speaker 3: you forget what happened five hours ago?
[1:07:45] Speaker 2: Like, how did you forget that wasn't present? And so
[1:07:47] Speaker 2: at that young age, I said, I'll never drink and
[1:07:50] Speaker 2: just never have.
[1:07:51] Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's wisdom. I'm so glad to hear
[1:07:54] Speaker 1: that you said that, because I don't think there's enough
[1:07:56] Speaker 1: people saying, you know, you don't got to do that,
[1:07:58] Speaker 1: you don't got to actually never do it and you'll
[1:08:01] Speaker 1: be fine, you'll be happy, you have a great life,
[1:08:04] Speaker 1: save some money. Uh, there's I don't think there's a
[1:08:08] Speaker 1: lot of we normalized it so much. Yeah, it's just
[1:08:12] Speaker 1: another contrasts expectation. And then the reason why people drink
[1:08:17] Speaker 1: for the first time might have been peer pressure or
[1:08:20] Speaker 1: it's been not protected from the young folks who shouldn't
[1:08:23] Speaker 1: be drinking are exposed to it. And the image of
[1:08:26] Speaker 1: these is this is what men do. This is what
[1:08:29] Speaker 1: a party looks like. That's what you do when people died.
[1:08:31] Speaker 1: That's what people do when they celebrate. This is what
[1:08:32] Speaker 1: people do when they're happy. This is what people do
[1:08:34] Speaker 1: when they're lonely and sad and like, oh here I
[1:08:37] Speaker 1: am about to go do that experience. You know what,
[1:08:39] Speaker 1: I need to drink. It's a traditional habit, so I
[1:08:43] Speaker 1: try and work from a stressful day. I said, I
[1:08:45] Speaker 1: need to drink.
[1:08:46] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
[1:08:46] Speaker 1: That brings me to I think what I think I'm
[1:08:48] Speaker 1: doing with this relationship thing, like I'm designing my life
[1:08:53] Speaker 1: and all the little metaphors and those sayings. I want
[1:08:58] Speaker 1: to co star and I want to co writ to
[1:09:01] Speaker 1: my life, to do life with someone right. I know
[1:09:06] Speaker 1: what I became when I became a father. It changed
[1:09:09] Speaker 1: me and motivated me to work harder, to be more selfless,
[1:09:16] Speaker 1: to be more emotional, being more in touch, be okay
[1:09:19] Speaker 1: with emotions, to respect emotions. I imagine that marriage will
[1:09:25] Speaker 1: do a version of that that I've seen. Also when
[1:09:27] Speaker 1: I'm in a loving relationship, if there's a version of
[1:09:30] Speaker 1: that that comes.
[1:09:30] Speaker 3: But I think there's another level.
[1:09:33] Speaker 1: And this relationship title becomes a vehicle for the transformation.
[1:09:38] Speaker 3: So I look forward to that.
[1:09:40] Speaker 1: But I'm designing my life and until I have my
[1:09:43] Speaker 1: co writer, I'm the writer of this thing, of course, God,
[1:09:48] Speaker 1: But I'm also not going to pick another person just
[1:09:51] Speaker 1: to write the day, and write the season and write
[1:09:55] Speaker 1: that year that. I don't know if you write well.
[1:09:58] Speaker 1: I don't like what you be writing about. I want
[1:10:00] Speaker 1: to do a comedy. You doing a horror movie. You
[1:10:04] Speaker 1: used that, that's cool. I'm so glad we know this
[1:10:07] Speaker 1: early on early because we're not writing the same movie, yeah,
[1:10:13] Speaker 1: and not writing the same book. I like the way
[1:10:14] Speaker 1: you worded that. Do you have a dating age range preference?
[1:10:21] Speaker 1: Like you're forty, I'm forty four, forty four the youngest
[1:10:26] Speaker 1: I would get, Wow, what's the eest twenty nine?
[1:10:31] Speaker 3: About to be thirty? Maybe when about fifteen years?
[1:10:35] Speaker 1: Now? What I date older than me? I'm not against
[1:10:39] Speaker 1: dating older than me. I don't think age is the
[1:10:44] Speaker 1: criteria that I look at first. It's very late for
[1:10:47] Speaker 1: as long as you're an adult, I'm like, okay, cool, right.
[1:10:52] Speaker 1: But I also know that there's some immature fifty year olds. Absolutely,
[1:10:56] Speaker 1: I know that there's some mature twenty seven eight year
[1:11:00] Speaker 1: old baby.
[1:11:02] Speaker 3: I'm not against it, it's just pridably not likely. Do
[1:11:06] Speaker 3: you want kids? That's a good question.
[1:11:08] Speaker 1: I would have another child, But depending on the women
[1:11:12] Speaker 1: that I'm dating, there's a danger zone like this mid thirties.
[1:11:16] Speaker 1: It's like I'm clock and I'm like, well, I'm not
[1:11:19] Speaker 1: rushing that. It's like, I'm not rushing nothing. My food
[1:11:22] Speaker 1: ain't gonna break, but I'm not smashing the gas. If
[1:11:25] Speaker 1: it don't feel right, it don't feel right. If it
[1:11:28] Speaker 1: don't make sense, it don't make sense to me. But
[1:11:31] Speaker 1: there are also some women who are like, I already
[1:11:34] Speaker 1: have a grown kid. I don't want to start over.
[1:11:36] Speaker 1: There are women who are like, I can't have kids.
[1:11:38] Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not discriminating on the age thing or
[1:11:41] Speaker 1: the health thing or the body thing or it just depends.
[1:11:44] Speaker 1: And there are women who are like, I've waited my
[1:11:46] Speaker 1: entire life to have a child, and I want to
[1:11:47] Speaker 1: have it with my husband, and I want to go
[1:11:49] Speaker 1: husband mean child. And I'm like, that's a clock. Thang
[1:11:53] Speaker 1: my clock. That's your clock. And now we got a clock,
[1:11:56] Speaker 1: so it's not your block because it ain't my clock.
[1:11:59] Speaker 1: You got to take it her our closs. He's co
[1:12:01] Speaker 1: writing is our clock, it's our clock. Your name on
[1:12:04] Speaker 1: that clock. Yeah, And I'm gonna deal with that clock
[1:12:07] Speaker 1: if I'm gonna deal with it. But the question is
[1:12:09] Speaker 1: what you deal with it? If you only get I'm
[1:12:14] Speaker 1: a Laker fan. Do you watch basketball?
[1:12:16] Speaker 2: Sometimes there are times exactly when they actually make it
[1:12:19] Speaker 2: to the playoffs, and I watch.
[1:12:20] Speaker 1: There are times in sports where you see a last
[1:12:22] Speaker 1: minute miracle, right. Yeah, it's like, oh, we need to
[1:12:24] Speaker 1: score or we're gonna lose. Yep, there's three seconds, ten seconds,
[1:12:28] Speaker 1: one second. Yeah, the buzzer beat it, right. I remember
[1:12:31] Speaker 1: Derek Fisher in the playoffs had a four set. It
[1:12:33] Speaker 1: was like a point, like the touch turn and shoot. Yeah,
[1:12:37] Speaker 1: don't give me that for no. Baby told me like,
[1:12:40] Speaker 1: you got to propose, get married, execute a wedding, and
[1:12:43] Speaker 1: then and then get pregnant before this number on a calendar,
[1:12:46] Speaker 1: so that you could feel good about a thing or
[1:12:49] Speaker 1: health things, or before your mama die and sha on
[1:12:52] Speaker 1: our way out or daddy like grandma. It's like you
[1:12:57] Speaker 1: realize the clock, say this is not my clock. If
[1:13:01] Speaker 1: I never have another kid, I'm cool.
[1:13:03] Speaker 3: But your co writer and I care about that. I
[1:13:06] Speaker 3: hold that the co.
[1:13:07] Speaker 2: Writer went to the doctor and the doctor said, hey, listen,
[1:13:10] Speaker 2: you got about yep. They said, hey listen, you know
[1:13:13] Speaker 2: you're in the geriatric YEP.
[1:13:15] Speaker 3: That pissed some people.
[1:13:16] Speaker 1: I did a post, bro what you say in the post.
[1:13:26] Speaker 1: I was trolling, okay, and I was giving advice to
[1:13:29] Speaker 1: young men as a young elder.
[1:13:32] Speaker 3: Oh boy, what did you say?
[1:13:33] Speaker 1: I said, Hey, it might sound like funds and games,
[1:13:37] Speaker 1: young fellas dating a cougar in parentheses, thirty five year
[1:13:42] Speaker 1: old first shot. But you might want to learn about
[1:13:47] Speaker 1: these things. I didn't say you might not want to
[1:13:50] Speaker 1: date them.
[1:13:50] Speaker 3: You said learn. You might want to learn.
[1:13:53] Speaker 1: And they're intentionally things that I know hit women, but
[1:13:56] Speaker 1: men also are affected by it, especially if you are
[1:13:58] Speaker 1: a son, your boyfriend, your husband, your brother. Just learn
[1:14:02] Speaker 1: about these things that most men don't know about, like sciatica.
[1:14:05] Speaker 1: Yeah right, I've dated so many psiatic.
[1:14:12] Speaker 3: Ladies.
[1:14:13] Speaker 1: And it's not an age thing. It's not thirty five,
[1:14:15] Speaker 1: and it's not a gender thing. But there is a
[1:14:18] Speaker 1: thing that happens. Can you stretch me out? Can you
[1:14:22] Speaker 1: give me a massage? Can you have me in a
[1:14:23] Speaker 1: heat and pain? Can you give me my pain?
[1:14:25] Speaker 3: Mans?
[1:14:26] Speaker 1: I'm dealing with that. I gotta stand up. I gotta
[1:14:27] Speaker 1: send that like siatica is a thing. Yes, And if
[1:14:30] Speaker 1: you want to have grace and compassion for your partner
[1:14:34] Speaker 1: who might have a little nerve issue, and.
[1:14:37] Speaker 3: You're like what's wrong with this lady back?
[1:14:40] Speaker 1: You need to know what sataka is pcos Yes, right,
[1:14:44] Speaker 1: I don't have that body, but that's not something that
[1:14:48] Speaker 1: just older women experience.
[1:14:50] Speaker 3: Right. One of the terms was geriatric pregnancy, and you
[1:14:55] Speaker 3: put that on the post.
[1:14:56] Speaker 1: I was like, just like I said, ovulation horne, I
[1:15:01] Speaker 1: said ovulation sex drive. That's not a shot, no, right,
[1:15:05] Speaker 1: Like you might want to know about that if you
[1:15:06] Speaker 1: ain't ready to get taken down and be snatched across
[1:15:08] Speaker 1: the bed by your ankles. You might want to know
[1:15:12] Speaker 1: what happens to some women when they're ovulating, young man. Yes, right,
[1:15:18] Speaker 1: And I said jerirect the pregnancy. It got hundreds and
[1:15:23] Speaker 1: thousands of comments in less than twelve hours. Really, it
[1:15:29] Speaker 1: was on Threads and I designed it. I had a
[1:15:31] Speaker 1: friend with me at the time. I was like, oh,
[1:15:33] Speaker 1: they're going to go crazy over this one because I
[1:15:35] Speaker 1: knew the tone that I was writing in felt like
[1:15:38] Speaker 1: what I think the trolls do. But mine wasn't devaluing
[1:15:43] Speaker 1: women at a certain age other than thirty five as
[1:15:45] Speaker 1: a cougar, which we know is like a joke if
[1:15:48] Speaker 1: you think about it. But there were so many people
[1:15:53] Speaker 1: who are pissed about the term geriatric pregnancy, and these
[1:15:56] Speaker 1: are women like, that's not the term. I was like,
[1:15:59] Speaker 1: it is the term, and it was if they've made
[1:16:02] Speaker 1: a new word, like we used to be called negro.
[1:16:06] Speaker 3: If I call you my negro, it's because that's what
[1:16:09] Speaker 3: we used to call each other.
[1:16:10] Speaker 1: Exactly, no disrespect, my guy. It's a term that is
[1:16:16] Speaker 1: a medical term. It's not a street term exactly. Women
[1:16:20] Speaker 1: people who said that they were in medical fields were like,
[1:16:23] Speaker 1: that's never been a term.
[1:16:25] Speaker 3: I said, I got a six year old daughter. I
[1:16:27] Speaker 3: remember hearing the doctor saying.
[1:16:30] Speaker 1: That this is and why it's something we should be
[1:16:32] Speaker 1: careful about, and why there's gonna be a certain plan
[1:16:34] Speaker 1: of certain appointments, you got to do certain tests because
[1:16:37] Speaker 1: it's a geriatric pregnancy. And I was like, that's not
[1:16:40] Speaker 1: a shot. That's a term that five and up. There
[1:16:44] Speaker 1: are so many women who did not know that was
[1:16:46] Speaker 1: a term. And it's on the internet. I didn't delete it.
[1:16:49] Speaker 1: It's still up there. People call me all kinds of
[1:16:52] Speaker 1: names because I used words that were not an attact.
[1:17:00] Speaker 3: It's not an attact.
[1:17:00] Speaker 1: But it's the internet, so you said, so it's really
[1:17:04] Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of comments.
[1:17:06] Speaker 3: Yeah, And I did it as a point.
[1:17:07] Speaker 1: I was like, every day I posted a gratitude, every
[1:17:09] Speaker 1: day I posted a question. Every day I posted a
[1:17:12] Speaker 1: topic about communication or conflict mediation or healthy connection, and
[1:17:16] Speaker 1: I might get a hundred I might get a thousand
[1:17:20] Speaker 1: views on this one. It's this good question, maybe ten
[1:17:23] Speaker 1: thousand a quiz, maybe like forty thousand.
[1:17:26] Speaker 3: And I was like, it's.
[1:17:29] Speaker 1: Weird that the algorithm knows what people pay attention to.
[1:17:33] Speaker 1: And you can lie all you want about who you are,
[1:17:35] Speaker 1: but your algorithm will show you who you are. He
[1:17:38] Speaker 1: knows what I like. It showed to me every day
[1:17:41] Speaker 1: and know what I like, and my algorithm might not
[1:17:43] Speaker 1: look like you are. Even if it's viral, it ain't
[1:17:45] Speaker 1: going to show you the same viral. But even if
[1:17:47] Speaker 1: it ain't viral, it's like I think, Rob, mighty right,
[1:17:50] Speaker 1: that's what's right here, And I'd be like, oh, thank you, algorithm,
[1:17:54] Speaker 1: save send like unlikely, I don't want people to see
[1:17:58] Speaker 1: it anymore. On Instagram. They're telling on us when you
[1:18:02] Speaker 1: like it, they tell you people, Rob just like like, yeah,
[1:18:06] Speaker 1: I did not I like it. Internally, I screenshoted it.
[1:18:12] Speaker 1: I will never follow you. But I wrote down your
[1:18:15] Speaker 1: knee because it's valuable information that you provide. I feel
[1:18:21] Speaker 1: studious on your page Amen, val information of course, talking
[1:18:26] Speaker 1: about informative pages about relationships and podcasts that talk about
[1:18:31] Speaker 1: finance and spirit and health. But you didn't want people
[1:18:34] Speaker 1: to see that. No, I don't want them to know that.
[1:18:35] Speaker 1: I'm thinking about that.
[1:18:40] Speaker 3: Do you tell everybody who you be following?
[1:18:42] Speaker 1: The secrets follower like you, a ghost follower like you
[1:18:45] Speaker 1: in the audience, but you like, I ain't gonna ticket
[1:18:47] Speaker 1: to be here. I'm not wearing the band shirt, but
[1:18:51] Speaker 1: I love and know every song Row.
[1:18:57] Speaker 3: How can we support you what you got going on?
[1:18:59] Speaker 1: I got a hoodie, says he because I'm trying. I'm
[1:19:01] Speaker 1: not done because I don't think everybody. That's why I
[1:19:03] Speaker 1: don't say healed. I'm not there yet and I don't
[1:19:06] Speaker 1: think nobody gonna get there. On my website, mister Howard
[1:19:09] Speaker 1: three six five dot com, I have a lot of resources.
[1:19:11] Speaker 1: Have a deck that has conversation started questions and call
[1:19:15] Speaker 1: them good questions. It's fifty six of them. Because I
[1:19:20] Speaker 1: think some of those decks that people buy are like
[1:19:22] Speaker 1: AI and people who don't like, why are you selling car?
[1:19:25] Speaker 1: You don't even talk, You're a gardener. Sir, ma'am, you're
[1:19:29] Speaker 1: a chef. You you invented a card deck and put
[1:19:32] Speaker 1: it in the target. And now these people are buying questions,
[1:19:34] Speaker 1: and some of them are foolish. As a facilitator who
[1:19:37] Speaker 1: uses questions for a living, I curated a list. I
[1:19:40] Speaker 1: have journals. I have journals for singles. I have a
[1:19:46] Speaker 1: deck of spicy questions to have people talk about sex, kink,
[1:19:50] Speaker 1: fantasy and pleasure. Hopefully when they get married they can
[1:19:53] Speaker 1: have an idea what they're gonna get themself into and
[1:19:55] Speaker 1: what they're gonna do to each other. Because it's underfiled,
[1:19:57] Speaker 1: and there is what I heard. I can't wait to
[1:19:58] Speaker 1: get there.
[1:19:58] Speaker 3: That's why.
[1:19:59] Speaker 1: Yeah, I almost some undefied. I had the filed. But
[1:20:02] Speaker 1: you know, if you want to support me, help me,
[1:20:04] Speaker 1: you know you've had defiled. I've been a the filer.
[1:20:08] Speaker 1: I've been defiled. I've asked for it, I've signed up,
[1:20:11] Speaker 1: I drove it. I'm hubert, I'll circled back. I redefiled myself.
[1:20:16] Speaker 1: You had ever redefiled yourself? Hey, hey, I like that.
[1:20:22] Speaker 1: Can you defile me again? Or is it not possible?
[1:20:25] Speaker 1: You've done the filer?
[1:20:28] Speaker 3: Support me? I have a decond, spicy questions.
[1:20:34] Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna be releasing some stuff before my birthday
[1:20:37] Speaker 1: in December that I think are some valubas your birthday
[1:20:39] Speaker 1: December fifteenth. Yeah, I had the date of when I'm
[1:20:44] Speaker 1: gonna drop this episode.
[1:20:45] Speaker 3: I remember what it was.
[1:20:49] Speaker 1: I promise you you're gonna remember at least defiled the filer.
[1:20:53] Speaker 1: The filer redefiled. I guarantee that's that's one.
[1:20:58] Speaker 3: Of the ones. You were like, yeah, read the file.
[1:21:00] Speaker 3: You about to get married?
[1:21:02] Speaker 1: No second, watched the Live Street Jesus, when you get married,
[1:21:07] Speaker 1: does it undefiled all the defiling that happened before. Yeah,
[1:21:11] Speaker 1: if you sold top break, if you break the soul ties,
[1:21:13] Speaker 1: which uh my fiance and I we did. We did
[1:21:17] Speaker 1: a whole ceremony where we want to just break off
[1:21:20] Speaker 1: every soul tie we ever had, And there was a
[1:21:22] Speaker 1: whole ceremony that we did. It was it was, it
[1:21:25] Speaker 1: was beautiful. I'll show people that. I'll show people that
[1:21:28] Speaker 1: you could do it. You could do a web course
[1:21:30] Speaker 1: and sell that. That's why I'm planning on doing.
[1:21:32] Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta sell that.
[1:21:33] Speaker 1: Yeah, some of defile people out here, I'll defow with them.
[1:21:40] Speaker 3: People need it. That's what I'm saying.
[1:21:41] Speaker 1: There's a headache that people have that you got the
[1:21:42] Speaker 1: medicine for. You can fix that. You don't know why
[1:21:45] Speaker 1: it ain't working because y'all still tied up. You got
[1:21:47] Speaker 1: all these ties. You defiled white. I could sell that.
[1:21:51] Speaker 3: Because it's in need. People out here defiling each other,
[1:21:53] Speaker 3: defiling themselves.
[1:21:55] Speaker 1: You heard of barrows. That's crazy. They nade it after
[1:22:02] Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful flowers. Now, I gotta be
[1:22:05] Speaker 1: careful what I'm talking about. I don't know, Syrien know
[1:22:09] Speaker 1: what I'm talking about when I'm talking about it. Look
[1:22:11] Speaker 1: at that lady with that rose. That's beautiful. It's like
[1:22:15] Speaker 1: the wrong thing. Come up, what algorithm? If you don't
[1:22:18] Speaker 1: chill out of here, this is getting crazy. But thank
[1:22:22] Speaker 1: you let me scream you shot it. Let me not
[1:22:27] Speaker 1: like yeah, let me unlike it. Just blink twice at it,
[1:22:30] Speaker 1: like yeah, that is true? Though? Is that funny how
[1:22:34] Speaker 1: they don't take like the most innocent thing and then
[1:22:37] Speaker 1: defile it, like I said, and like we're laughing about it,
[1:22:40] Speaker 1: But it's like that is true. You take the most
[1:22:42] Speaker 1: beautiful flower or rose and then defile it. And then
[1:22:45] Speaker 1: now you say rose, it has a different connotation, like
[1:22:47] Speaker 1: water park. I've been to a water park before, but
[1:22:50] Speaker 1: now it means something different. And I'm like, do I
[1:22:52] Speaker 1: want to go to the water park? Do I want
[1:22:57] Speaker 1: to take off my shirt around all these people at
[1:22:59] Speaker 1: the water apart whoever's at the water park? Am I am?
[1:23:04] Speaker 3: I willing to get in the waters? Can I swim?
[1:23:09] Speaker 1: I want to swim? He's a good question, he said.
[1:23:11] Speaker 1: Aquafina have a different different supers a black man. Have
[1:23:15] Speaker 1: bet that God in it that I like superstokers. It's
[1:23:22] Speaker 1: a valuable thing. What but now, what are we talking about?
[1:23:27] Speaker 1: We don't know.
[1:23:28] Speaker 3: Somebody walking around there like what y'all talking about? I
[1:23:30] Speaker 3: don't even know what you hear? Is a super soaker?
[1:23:35] Speaker 1: God?
[1:23:36] Speaker 3: All good things good God.
[1:23:38] Speaker 1: All good things come from the Lord, he said it?
[1:23:42] Speaker 1: Or is that a Black church thing? I don't know,
[1:23:44] Speaker 1: but they say it. I believe it. It sounds right,
[1:23:51] Speaker 1: all good things the right. Thank you so much, Thank
[1:23:59] Speaker 1: you so mush a bien On a Differ Future Wife podcast, Hey,
[1:24:03] Speaker 1: y'all give it up for my homies, but the father. Yeah,
[1:24:12] Speaker 1: stay tuned to the end for a letter to my
[1:24:14] Speaker 1: future wife. Writing these love letters. Ladarian thrust it suddenly
[1:24:25] Speaker 1: into child protective services. In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black
[1:24:30] Speaker 1: a boy. The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship
[1:24:34] Speaker 1: slim to none? Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy
[1:24:40] Speaker 1: with five years in the foster care system before I
[1:24:42] Speaker 1: even knew his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted?
[1:24:47] Speaker 3: Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.
[1:24:51] Speaker 1: While Ladarian and Ourmiani were trying to survive and barely
[1:24:54] Speaker 1: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded Falster care system, I
[1:24:58] Speaker 1: was living my own life, doing well per having been
[1:25:01] Speaker 1: a single father with a daughter who at that point
[1:25:03] Speaker 1: was doing well in college. It was my time to
[1:25:06] Speaker 1: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.
[1:25:13] Speaker 1: There are just two many of our black children stuck
[1:25:17] Speaker 1: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.
[1:25:21] Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian.
[1:25:25] Speaker 3: Fast forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to
[1:25:27] Speaker 3: this other.
[1:25:27] Speaker 1: Young king, but I felt God instructed me to adopt
[1:25:30] Speaker 1: them also on al Babe. Starting over with parenting should
[1:25:34] Speaker 1: have been enough.
[1:25:35] Speaker 3: Right.
[1:25:35] Speaker 1: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help
[1:25:38] Speaker 1: bring awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the
[1:25:41] Speaker 1: Falster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right, Joining
[1:25:45] Speaker 1: the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization
[1:25:48] Speaker 1: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false
[1:25:52] Speaker 1: care should have led to some type of resolve. Right, No,
[1:25:56] Speaker 1: not at all. None of it felt like I had
[1:25:59] Speaker 1: done enough. I now realize that every one of those
[1:26:04] Speaker 1: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.
[1:26:08] Speaker 3: Kingdom Royal.
[1:26:10] Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art
[1:26:13] Speaker 1: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in
[1:26:16] Speaker 1: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the whole
[1:26:19] Speaker 1: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,
[1:26:24] Speaker 1: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that
[1:26:28] Speaker 1: they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will attend
[1:26:33] Speaker 1: the local public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom Royal.
[1:26:36] Speaker 1: Our at home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating
[1:26:40] Speaker 1: in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning about and
[1:26:44] Speaker 1: engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and even relevant
[1:26:49] Speaker 1: historical contexts, introducing them to gardening and landscaping, and even
[1:26:53] Speaker 1: caring for our animals on our.
[1:26:55] Speaker 3: Form and on site stables.
[1:26:58] Speaker 1: We just launched our startup campaign with the goal of
[1:27:01] Speaker 1: raising two point eight million dollars. Now why two point
[1:27:03] Speaker 1: eight million dollars. Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a
[1:27:07] Speaker 1: web series in which I performed random acts of kindness
[1:27:10] Speaker 1: for targeting the homeless community. One of the most notable
[1:27:13] Speaker 1: successes was that one of the videos went viral, garnering
[1:27:16] Speaker 1: twenty eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets
[1:27:21] Speaker 1: is that I didn't raise a single dollar to help
[1:27:23] Speaker 1: in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community.
[1:27:27] Speaker 1: So throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that
[1:27:31] Speaker 1: I'm not maximizing that moment.
[1:27:33] Speaker 3: I knew if at that.
[1:27:34] Speaker 1: Time just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar,
[1:27:38] Speaker 1: we would have raised at least two point eight million
[1:27:41] Speaker 1: dollars that could have really established long term support for
[1:27:44] Speaker 1: the homeless community, or at least started a long term
[1:27:48] Speaker 1: initiative to do so. This is my do over, this
[1:27:52] Speaker 1: is our new beginning.
[1:27:54] Speaker 2: Together, we can attack this at the root by specifically
[1:27:57] Speaker 2: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented
[1:28:03] Speaker 2: in the American.
[1:28:04] Speaker 1: Fossil care system. I'm a Terrassawa Field. I've been nominated
[1:28:07] Speaker 1: for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless
[1:28:11] Speaker 1: as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,
[1:28:15] Speaker 1: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure
[1:28:20] Speaker 1: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdom Royal dot com for
[1:28:24] Speaker 1: more details Crown of King and make a donation today. Man,
[1:28:36] Speaker 1: I love when I get a chance to chop it
[1:28:37] Speaker 1: up with my brothers and just that's how men talk.
[1:28:40] Speaker 1: We gonna y'all got an inside look into how men talk.
[1:28:45] Speaker 3: So it was fun.
[1:28:46] Speaker 1: Well, here's my favorite part of the podcast where I
[1:28:48] Speaker 1: speak to my future wifey, Dear future wifey, with you,
[1:28:52] Speaker 1: love feels like home. It's the warmth of sunlight after
[1:28:56] Speaker 1: a long night, the calm after a raging storm. Your
[1:28:59] Speaker 1: presence makes the ordinary feel extraordinary. Suddenly, laughter's louder, silences softer,
[1:29:06] Speaker 1: and time moves with a rhythm that dances to our heartbeat.
[1:29:10] Speaker 1: Love with You feel safe, like I can finally exhale
[1:29:14] Speaker 1: without fear of being misunderstood. It feels alive, like fire
[1:29:17] Speaker 1: that never burns. Out but always glows.
[1:29:20] Speaker 2: It feels like a melody I've been humming my whole life,
[1:29:24] Speaker 2: but never knew the words to until you walked.
[1:29:26] Speaker 3: In and gave the song meaning.
[1:29:30] Speaker 1: You are the evidence that God still writes poetry and
[1:29:33] Speaker 1: human form. You are the echo of answered prayers. I
[1:29:36] Speaker 1: didn't even have the language to pray with you. Love
[1:29:41] Speaker 1: feels less like a search and more like a discovery
[1:29:44] Speaker 1: that what I longed for was never far.
[1:29:47] Speaker 3: It was simply waiting for divine timing.
[1:29:51] Speaker 1: With you. Love feels like forever, and forever doesn't seem
[1:29:56] Speaker 1: long enough.
[1:29:58] Speaker 3: Your future hubby.
[1:30:00] Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future
[1:30:02] Speaker 1: WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and
[1:30:08] Speaker 1: don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our Dear
[1:30:10] Speaker 1: Future Wife YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,
[1:30:15] Speaker 1: and Stitcher.
[1:30:16] Speaker 3: Be welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts with your
[1:30:19] Speaker 3: friends and family.

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