# A Tale Of Two Halves

An episode of [Everyone Has An Ex](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1502664617), 27 Oct 2026, 59 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/fe4043fe-7983-496d-8f85-b132005537f8/2050de36-2588-4ba3-8c45-b4ef01519e79/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=d21b7a93-3a2f-4ae7-ac90-b13200553810

Anna was just 18 when she met Jason, and what followed was the kind of love story most people only dream of. From whirlwind adventures around the world to building a beautiful family together, life was pretty close to perfect. But as we all know, life doesn't always go according to plan. What follows is an extraordinary story of love, unimaginable heartbreak, second chances and the courage to start over. Because sometimes, finding love again is only half the story. Have a story that you'd like to share? Email us or send us a voice mail here. Email: everyonehasanex@mintymedia.com.au Follow us on Instagram: @everyonehasanex See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:10] Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mamma Mia podcast.
[0:14] Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
[0:17] Speaker 2: waters this podcast is recorded on. Starting over can be
[0:27] Speaker 2: a pretty big deal, especially when you've been out of
[0:29] Speaker 2: the dating game for years. For most of us, the
[0:32] Speaker 2: thought of putting ourselves back out there is daunting. The
[0:35] Speaker 2: awkward first dates, the endless small talk, the fear of rejection.
[0:39] Speaker 2: And don't even get me started on dating apps. It's
[0:42] Speaker 2: enough to make anyone think twice about giving love another shot. Unless,
[0:45] Speaker 2: of course, you're Anna.
[0:47] Speaker 1: It was actually quite exciting jumping online and on the apps.
[0:51] Speaker 1: It's quite exhilarating. It gave me feelings that I haven't
[0:54] Speaker 1: felt before. Patrick was essentially the first person I spoke to.
[1:00] Speaker 1: He's the first person I went on a date with.
[1:04] Speaker 1: And I was like, God, I'm lucky. I talked to
[1:07] Speaker 1: one person and I've met this amazing guy. Like, how
[1:10] Speaker 1: lucky am I? That was easy.
[1:13] Speaker 2: But as the old saying goes, if something seems too
[1:15] Speaker 2: good to be true, it probably is. That so-called luck
[1:19] Speaker 2: begins to wear off, and suddenly the person standing in
[1:22] Speaker 2: front of you barely resembles the one you fell in
[1:24] Speaker 2: love with, and you start asking another age-old question. Where
[1:28] Speaker 2: on earth did that person go?
[1:29] Speaker 1: I don't understand how when you're with someone at the beginning,
[1:33] Speaker 1: they're absolutely amazing, and then after a while they're just completely...
[1:36] Speaker 1: completely change and it's like what happened like what happened
[1:41] Speaker 1: to the old you I want the old you back.
[1:52] Speaker 2: I'm Georgia Love and this is Everyone Has an Ex
[1:55] Speaker 2: come with me as we dive into a collection of
[1:57] Speaker 2: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the
[2:02] Speaker 2: hearts of the very people.
[2:03] Speaker 1: Who lived them.
[2:05] Speaker 2: Remember your first proper full-time job? That exciting taste of independence.
[2:10] Speaker 2: You were earning an actual salary, surrounded by grown-ups, and
[2:13] Speaker 2: suddenly feeling like one yourself. There's a whole new world
[2:16] Speaker 2: of responsibility, freedom, and if you're lucky, maybe a cute
[2:20] Speaker 2: boy in the office who made getting out of bed
[2:21] Speaker 2: on a Monday morning just that little bit easier. For
[2:24] Speaker 2: an 18-year-old Anna, starting her first job at an accounting
[2:28] Speaker 2: firm came with all of the above.
[2:30] Speaker 1: About six months into working there, I spied this tall,
[2:35] Speaker 1: Italian looking man who I instantly thought was, wow, he's
[2:41] Speaker 1: really hot. And then eventually we kind of kept on
[2:45] Speaker 1: bumping into each other in the club rooms. Every time
[2:48] Speaker 1: I used to go in there to make tea or
[2:49] Speaker 1: coffee and I'd see him always reading the paper. And
[2:53] Speaker 1: I went in there one day and I was like,
[2:54] Speaker 1: do you do any work? I never see you at
[2:56] Speaker 1: your desk. And then eventually evolved into us, you know,
[3:00] Speaker 1: looking at each other's horoscopes for that day. And then
[3:04] Speaker 1: there was like a bit of flirting. And one day
[3:08] Speaker 1: we were talking about like all our favorite lollies and
[3:11] Speaker 1: things like that. And I got into work one day
[3:14] Speaker 1: and I found a little Sherby because Sherby's were my
[3:17] Speaker 1: favorite lollies back then. And I found little Sherby's hidden
[3:21] Speaker 1: on my desk behind my keyboard or behind my mouse.
[3:24] Speaker 1: And I kind of knew it was him. And it
[3:29] Speaker 1: was just like a bit of back and forth flirting
[3:31] Speaker 1: for about six months, I think.
[3:33] Speaker 2: His name was Jason, he was a Leo, and Anna, well,
[3:36] Speaker 2: she's a Pisces. Now, according to the stars, that's a
[3:39] Speaker 2: combination known for its magnetic attraction and some pretty serious chemistry. So,
[3:44] Speaker 2: chuck in a few drinks, a little festive cheer at
[3:46] Speaker 2: the annual work Christmas party, and I think you can
[3:49] Speaker 2: see where this is going.
[3:50] Speaker 1: I was dancing with another guy who I couldn't escape.
[3:55] Speaker 1: I didn't want to dance with him. And so I
[3:58] Speaker 1: was mouthing, help me, to the crowd, and his mates
[4:01] Speaker 1: just pushed Jason... towards me to come in and swoop
[4:05] Speaker 1: me off my feet, so to speak. And it kind
[4:09] Speaker 1: of went from there. We danced together and then we
[4:12] Speaker 1: went back to a bar and we talked about what
[4:18] Speaker 1: we want in the future and our likes and dislikes
[4:22] Speaker 1: and he was very charming.
[4:25] Speaker 2: From there, there was no turning back.
[4:28] Speaker 1: He used to take me on little dates around the
[4:30] Speaker 1: city to Japanese and pubs and and whatnot he was
[4:36] Speaker 1: so charming and thoughtful and loyal and nice and he'd
[4:41] Speaker 1: buy me gifts like perfume and just little things to
[4:46] Speaker 1: make me feel special and I loved I think we
[4:50] Speaker 1: just started we fell in love pretty much after.
[4:54] Speaker 2: Then Jason was a little older than Anna Six years,
[4:57] Speaker 2: in fact, and at 24, working in the world of
[5:00] Speaker 2: investment banking, there was one opportunity that was practically a
[5:03] Speaker 2: rite of passage for anyone looking to make their mark
[5:06] Speaker 2: on the industry.
[5:07] Speaker 1: One day he told me that he wanted to move
[5:10] Speaker 1: to London because back then it was peak time for
[5:15] Speaker 1: all the financial people to travel over to London to
[5:19] Speaker 1: enhance their careers. And he wanted me to come with him.
[5:23] Speaker 1: And I'd only been with him for about six months
[5:26] Speaker 1: at this point. So I was a bit nervous and
[5:30] Speaker 1: I didn't know if I wanted, I've never left home.
[5:32] Speaker 1: I was like, do I travel across to the other
[5:35] Speaker 1: side of the world for this guy? What do I do?
[5:38] Speaker 1: Like it's such a huge risk. As the day grew
[5:42] Speaker 1: closer of Jason leaving to go to London, I had
[5:46] Speaker 1: booked my flights to follow him a month later. And
[5:51] Speaker 1: I was starting to get cold feet. So the day
[5:54] Speaker 1: that he came for him leaving and I was at
[5:58] Speaker 1: the airport with his mum and I was just sobbing
[6:02] Speaker 1: and I didn't want him to go and I wrote
[6:04] Speaker 1: him a letter for him to read on the plane
[6:06] Speaker 1: just telling him basically how much I love him and
[6:10] Speaker 1: it kind of felt like that we were meant to
[6:11] Speaker 1: be together. And then I chickened out and he got
[6:15] Speaker 1: a bit upset. I was upset and then a couple
[6:18] Speaker 1: of weeks we still kept in touch. We emailed every day.
[6:22] Speaker 1: And then one day I was like, fuck it, I'm
[6:24] Speaker 1: going to do it. So I booked a trip. I
[6:27] Speaker 1: booked the plane tickets again, packed up my life at 19,
[6:32] Speaker 1: said goodbye to my friends and family and jumped on
[6:34] Speaker 1: a plane by myself and went to the other side
[6:36] Speaker 1: of the world to see him. And I have this
[6:40] Speaker 1: vivid memory in my head of landing in London and
[6:46] Speaker 1: getting through customs and everything. First time I've been on
[6:49] Speaker 1: a plane by myself. And I was coming down the
[6:52] Speaker 1: escalator at Heathrow. And at the bottom of the escalator
[6:56] Speaker 1: was him standing there in blue jeans, a grey jumper,
[7:01] Speaker 1: and holding sunflowers. And sunflowers were my favourite flower. And
[7:06] Speaker 1: he was just standing there at the bottom. It was
[7:07] Speaker 1: like in the movies. And it was like in slow motion.
[7:09] Speaker 1: I was just coming down. And then I was crying.
[7:12] Speaker 1: And he gave me a massive hug. And he just
[7:16] Speaker 1: wrapped me up in his arms. And I just felt
[7:17] Speaker 1: so safe and happy. And I made the right choice
[7:23] Speaker 1: to fly over there. We had so much fun. We
[7:26] Speaker 1: lived in Kensington, hung out with friends and created a
[7:30] Speaker 1: life together. And I basically just followed him around the world.
[7:35] Speaker 1: He ended up transferring to Dubai and I followed him
[7:39] Speaker 1: over there and we lived there for a bit. There
[7:44] Speaker 1: was the GFC. So we basically went to Singapore. And
[7:51] Speaker 1: Jason worked there for about a year. And then I
[7:56] Speaker 1: couldn't find a job in Singapore. So I basically moved
[7:59] Speaker 1: back home. And then he eventually followed me a year later.
[8:04] Speaker 1: So we did a bit of long distance relationship on
[8:07] Speaker 1: and off, which was really hard for both of us,
[8:09] Speaker 1: but we made it work. And then eventually he made
[8:12] Speaker 1: the decision to come back to Perth. And he ended
[8:15] Speaker 1: up finding a.
[8:17] Speaker 2: Job So by this stage, Anna and Jason had been
[8:20] Speaker 2: together for six years. They'd travelled the world, made incredible memories,
[8:24] Speaker 2: built their careers and grown together as a couple. With
[8:27] Speaker 2: Jason approaching the big three zero, it felt like the
[8:29] Speaker 2: perfect time to slow things down a little, put down
[8:32] Speaker 2: some roots and start planning the next chapter of their
[8:35] Speaker 2: lives together.
[8:36] Speaker 1: So Jason was getting to the age where all his
[8:39] Speaker 1: friends were starting to get married. So that was another
[8:42] Speaker 1: reason to come back. He just had so many different
[8:44] Speaker 1: groups of friends. He was always known as The connection
[8:48] Speaker 1: brought everyone together. He was the life of the party.
[8:51] Speaker 1: Everyone just flocked to him. We bought a house, a
[8:54] Speaker 1: little unit, and started living our life. And Jason thought,
[9:01] Speaker 1: how about we start trying for a baby? I was like, sure.
[9:07] Speaker 1: So I went off birth control and thought it won't
[9:09] Speaker 1: happen that quick. But it happened straight away.
[9:12] Speaker 2: I think you can guess what the natural next step
[9:15] Speaker 2: in this love story is.
[9:16] Speaker 1: I'm an executive assistant and I was looking after him.
[9:20] Speaker 1: And one day, no one knew I was pregnant yet.
[9:24] Speaker 1: So it was just a normal working day. And then
[9:27] Speaker 1: Jason came and picked me up for lunch. I jumped
[9:31] Speaker 1: in the car. I looked in the back seat and
[9:33] Speaker 1: there was an Esky and there was a packed bag.
[9:36] Speaker 1: I was like, what's that for? He's like, oh, it
[9:38] Speaker 1: doesn't matter. So I jumped in the car and then
[9:41] Speaker 1: we started driving down the freeway. I was like, where
[9:43] Speaker 1: are we going? He's like, oh, we're going down south.
[9:46] Speaker 1: I was like, we can't go down south. I need
[9:48] Speaker 1: to go back to work after lunch. I hope my
[9:50] Speaker 1: bosses are waiting for me. And he said, oh, I've
[9:53] Speaker 1: actually called them and arranged for you to have the
[9:55] Speaker 1: rest of the day off. And he's like, well, actually
[9:58] Speaker 1: for the rest of the week off. So we went
[10:00] Speaker 1: all the way down south to this place called Bunker
[10:03] Speaker 1: Bay in Margaret River. And he took me to this
[10:08] Speaker 1: secluded area, Ross. area at the point. And he had
[10:13] Speaker 1: this packed picnic and there was whales. I remember whales
[10:17] Speaker 1: in the ocean. And I turned around and he was
[10:21] Speaker 1: down on one knee and he was proposing. I was like, oh,
[10:23] Speaker 1: that's so nice. And then I was crying and said yes.
[10:28] Speaker 1: And then I turned back around and I didn't realise
[10:30] Speaker 1: that a busload of tourists got off the bus. We're
[10:33] Speaker 1: taking photos of the whales behind us. And they were
[10:36] Speaker 1: taking photos of Jason down on one knee proposing, which
[10:39] Speaker 1: was hilarious. Everyone was just so happy and excited. And
[10:43] Speaker 1: they were all like, oh, it's about time. We've been
[10:46] Speaker 1: together for so long by that point. Like, yeah, that
[10:49] Speaker 1: was so happy. So we were engaged for about two years.
[10:53] Speaker 1: So we had my son... I met my son, my
[10:55] Speaker 1: oldest son first. It was a happy, healthy pregnancy. So
[11:01] Speaker 1: Jack was born and Jason was such a hands-on dad.
[11:05] Speaker 1: I absolutely loved him. Couldn't wait to start kicking a
[11:07] Speaker 1: ball with him. And then the next stage was to
[11:11] Speaker 1: start planning a wedding. We had our wedding in Ravello
[11:15] Speaker 1: at this beautiful villa. We had about, I was hoping
[11:20] Speaker 1: no one would come, but we had about 60 to
[11:21] Speaker 1: 70 people come. which is really nice. We had the
[11:25] Speaker 1: best time. We had a mariachi band. It was amazing.
[11:28] Speaker 1: And Jack was about 18 months old, so he was
[11:31] Speaker 1: running around, and it was just amazing.
[11:40] Speaker 2: Life was pretty close to perfect. Anna and Jason had
[11:42] Speaker 2: settled into married life, were finding their feet as a
[11:45] Speaker 2: family of three, and everything just seemed to be falling
[11:48] Speaker 2: into place. But just as they were getting comfortable with this.
[11:51] Speaker 1: Chapter, another one came knocking. Jason got offered a job
[11:55] Speaker 1: in New York. So everything happened so quickly from the
[11:59] Speaker 1: wedding back home, packing up the house and then telling everyone, oh,
[12:04] Speaker 1: we're moving to New York now. I was actually quite
[12:07] Speaker 1: excited to move overseas because I've done it so many
[12:11] Speaker 1: times with Jason before. So I knew we could do it.
[12:14] Speaker 1: The thought of doing it with a toddler in tow,
[12:18] Speaker 1: I was comfortable and confident enough that Jason and I
[12:21] Speaker 1: could do it together. no doubt in my mind. And
[12:24] Speaker 1: I wanted that experience. I wanted our son to have
[12:26] Speaker 1: the experience of living overseas as well. And we wanted
[12:29] Speaker 1: to do it while he was young. He wasn't going
[12:30] Speaker 1: to school yet. So we thought this is a great opportunity.
[12:33] Speaker 1: It was an adventure. It was a shock to the system,
[12:38] Speaker 1: but exciting when we arrived there because everything's so different
[12:41] Speaker 1: in New York compared to Australia. Didn't have a car.
[12:44] Speaker 1: So we had to walk everywhere or catch the subway,
[12:47] Speaker 1: they call it, catch the subway. And it's just a
[12:50] Speaker 1: whole different way of living. But we absolutely loved it.
[12:53] Speaker 1: We thought every day was an adventure. We found an
[12:57] Speaker 1: apartment in Brooklyn. Jason started working in Manhattan, so he
[13:02] Speaker 1: was gone throughout the day. So it was just me
[13:03] Speaker 1: and Jack doing our thing each day, going to the park, exploring,
[13:08] Speaker 1: going to the museums and things like that. And then
[13:11] Speaker 1: Jason would come home and we'd go out for dinners
[13:13] Speaker 1: and shows. It was just such a great life. So...
[13:20] Speaker 1: About two years of living in New York, Jason and
[13:24] Speaker 1: I thought it's a good time to start thinking about
[13:28] Speaker 1: having another kid, you know, a little friend, a brother
[13:31] Speaker 1: or sister for Jack. So again, I thought it won't
[13:36] Speaker 1: happen so quickly. It will take time. Happened again so quickly,
[13:39] Speaker 1: first time. So I felt pregnant again.
[13:43] Speaker 2: Nine months later, baby Landon entered the world.
[13:46] Speaker 1: So we were living in New York. with a four
[13:49] Speaker 1: year old and a baby and it was an absolute whirlwind.
[13:53] Speaker 1: And then it was coming up to Christmas of 2017
[13:57] Speaker 1: and my parents came over to New York to spend
[14:02] Speaker 1: Christmas with us. And my little one was quite sick
[14:08] Speaker 1: and he ended up in hospital and me and the
[14:13] Speaker 1: family were due to fly back with my parents back
[14:16] Speaker 1: to Perth after Christmas. And unfortunately, my son ended up
[14:20] Speaker 1: in hospital over New Year's. So we had to push
[14:23] Speaker 1: back our flights. And then Jason, he ended up being
[14:26] Speaker 1: called to a work thing in Miami. So he now
[14:31] Speaker 1: couldn't change his flight to come back to Perth with us.
[14:35] Speaker 1: So it ended up being me flying back to Perth
[14:39] Speaker 1: with two kids and my mum. And I was here
[14:42] Speaker 1: in Perth without him. He was over in Miami for
[14:44] Speaker 1: a conference. And had the best time here in Perth
[14:50] Speaker 1: and then it was time for me and the boys
[14:52] Speaker 1: to fly back to New York and I roped in
[14:55] Speaker 1: Jason's mum to fly back with me because I was
[14:57] Speaker 1: too scared to fly with two kids by myself. So
[15:01] Speaker 1: I flew back to New York and Jason was flying
[15:07] Speaker 1: in the next day from Miami and he flew in
[15:13] Speaker 1: Came home from the airport and his mum had cooked
[15:17] Speaker 1: his favourite dinner, which was apricot chicken. He put the
[15:22] Speaker 1: boys to bed. He read them a story. And we
[15:26] Speaker 1: caught up and went to bed. And I had really
[15:32] Speaker 1: bad jet lag from flying back from Perth. So I
[15:36] Speaker 1: woke up at about three o'clock in the morning and
[15:38] Speaker 1: went upstairs to have like a Milo and read my book.
[15:42] Speaker 1: And I heard Jason get up to get a drink
[15:44] Speaker 1: of water at about 5 o'clock in the morning. And
[15:46] Speaker 1: then I heard this almighty crash. I was like, what's that?
[15:51] Speaker 1: And then I kind of left it for a bit
[15:52] Speaker 1: and then I could hear this weird noise. I went
[15:54] Speaker 1: downstairs and I could see Jason was on the floor,
[15:59] Speaker 1: half in the bathroom, half out in the bathroom. And
[16:03] Speaker 1: he looked like he just slipped and he was just
[16:05] Speaker 1: like he'd hurt himself and he was just trying to
[16:07] Speaker 1: catch his breath like he was winded. So I went
[16:09] Speaker 1: up to him and I was like, are you okay?
[16:11] Speaker 1: And it was like he couldn't catch his breath and
[16:13] Speaker 1: he's looking at me like he couldn't breathe. And I
[16:20] Speaker 1: raced back upstairs to get my phone and I called
[16:22] Speaker 1: out to his mum and she's like, I'm coming. And
[16:25] Speaker 1: she raced downstairs and I was on the phone to
[16:30] Speaker 1: 911 saying, you know, my husband's collapsed. It looks like
[16:33] Speaker 1: he can't breathe properly. And... race back downstairs and by
[16:39] Speaker 1: this time Jason had closed his eyes and his mum
[16:42] Speaker 1: was doing mouth to mouth and then I realised that
[16:47] Speaker 1: he wasn't breathing so I jumped on the floor and
[16:49] Speaker 1: I'm doing chest compressions doing CPR and 911 operator was
[16:53] Speaker 1: on speaker telling me what to do and you know
[16:56] Speaker 1: banging on him I'm like just breathe just breathe keep
[16:59] Speaker 1: breathing and eventually I could hear knocking on the upstairs
[17:04] Speaker 1: door so I raced back upstairs And it was firemen.
[17:08] Speaker 1: And I looked out the window and the whole street
[17:11] Speaker 1: was blocked off with about three fire trucks. And there
[17:15] Speaker 1: was two police cars, two ambulances. And they all came
[17:18] Speaker 1: rushing in. And they raced down to the basement. And
[17:22] Speaker 1: I could see they were trying to work on him
[17:24] Speaker 1: and give him CPR and things like that. And I
[17:27] Speaker 1: was talking to the police people, explaining what had happened.
[17:31] Speaker 1: And they had to cart him out through the basement
[17:35] Speaker 1: because we had the basements flat and a first basement
[17:39] Speaker 1: and first floor apartment so they had to get him
[17:43] Speaker 1: through the basement because he's a six foot four two
[17:46] Speaker 1: it was quite hard to get him out at this
[17:48] Speaker 1: point I thought everything he was going to be okay
[17:50] Speaker 1: it's like he's going to go to hospital he's going
[17:52] Speaker 1: to be fine he's going to he'll come back he'll
[17:56] Speaker 1: wake up he'll come back and then they put him
[17:59] Speaker 1: into the back of the ambulance and I made his
[18:03] Speaker 1: mum go in the back of the ambulance with him
[18:05] Speaker 1: because I had to sort out babysitting for the boys.
[18:09] Speaker 1: So I called up one of Jack's friend's mums because
[18:13] Speaker 1: he was in nursery school and she was an Aussie
[18:17] Speaker 1: and she was a friend, a dear friend that I
[18:19] Speaker 1: made over there. She came running down and she sat
[18:21] Speaker 1: with the boys and then I jumped in an Uber.
[18:24] Speaker 1: And when I was sitting in the Uber, I was
[18:26] Speaker 1: looking out the window and it was the most beautiful
[18:29] Speaker 1: sunrise I've ever seen in my life. It was just
[18:31] Speaker 1: like orange and purple. And I get to the hospital
[18:36] Speaker 1: and I went into the emergency area. I said, I'm
[18:39] Speaker 1: here to see Jason. And at first they couldn't find
[18:42] Speaker 1: him on the system. And then eventually they found him
[18:45] Speaker 1: and the girl covered her mouth. She's like, oh, just
[18:47] Speaker 1: take a seat. And then someone came down and got
[18:51] Speaker 1: me and took me upstairs. And there was like a
[18:53] Speaker 1: little chaplain lady and she took me into a room.
[18:57] Speaker 1: And she said, I'm so sorry to tell you this,
[18:59] Speaker 1: but your husband didn't make it. And I was like,
[19:02] Speaker 1: what do you mean? He just didn't make it. And
[19:05] Speaker 1: I just started crying. And then his mom came in
[19:08] Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm so sorry. And we just sat
[19:11] Speaker 1: there crying for ages. And I think I just didn't
[19:13] Speaker 1: deny that he was actually gone. So I asked if
[19:21] Speaker 1: I could see him. And I went to his room.
[19:26] Speaker 1: And he was just lying there. It looked like he
[19:28] Speaker 1: was just asleep. And I went up to the bed
[19:31] Speaker 1: and I just touched him. It was just so cold.
[19:38] Speaker 1: And I was just, I think I was just like
[19:41] Speaker 1: in denial. And I just sat there and I just
[19:42] Speaker 1: held his hand. And I just told him that I
[19:45] Speaker 1: loved him and that I would take good care of
[19:47] Speaker 1: the boys and that I would try and live this
[19:52] Speaker 1: life the best way that I can without him in it.
[19:56] Speaker 1: And then I had to call his friends and that
[19:59] Speaker 1: was probably one of the hardest phone calls I've ever
[20:01] Speaker 1: had to do. I had to call his best friend
[20:03] Speaker 1: and say that Jason's collapsed and he didn't make it.
[20:09] Speaker 1: And he didn't believe me either. And so he jumped
[20:13] Speaker 1: on a plane straight away and came over and my
[20:16] Speaker 1: mum jumped on a plane and came over and They
[20:19] Speaker 1: landed probably about three days later. Everything after he died
[20:24] Speaker 1: was just such a whirlwind and I don't remember much
[20:28] Speaker 1: of it. And I remember eventually going back to the
[20:31] Speaker 1: house and everyone was just coming and going, all of
[20:34] Speaker 1: Jason's work friends, all of his other friends just kept
[20:37] Speaker 1: on coming to the house and dropping off flowers. But
[20:41] Speaker 1: the hardest part was when I came back to the
[20:42] Speaker 1: house and Jack was sitting on the couch and he's like,
[20:46] Speaker 1: where's Dad? And I said... He's not coming home. It's like, oh,
[20:51] Speaker 1: where is he? I was like, oh, he's gone to heaven.
[20:55] Speaker 1: I was like, I had no idea what I meant
[20:56] Speaker 1: to tell a kid about, you know, heaven and things
[20:58] Speaker 1: like that. And then he's like, oh, can we get
[21:00] Speaker 1: a new dad? And I was like, oh, gosh. That's
[21:04] Speaker 1: not how it works. I later got his autopsy results
[21:10] Speaker 1: and found out that his aorta actually ruptured. One of
[21:14] Speaker 1: the things... that I went to therapy was about could
[21:19] Speaker 1: I have done more, like could I have saved him,
[21:21] Speaker 1: you know, did I do CPR wrong? And they said
[21:26] Speaker 1: it happened so quickly he would have to be next
[21:28] Speaker 1: to an operating theatre for him to be, you know, saved.
[21:32] Speaker 1: So it took me a while to learn or to
[21:37] Speaker 1: heal from that. And then after he passed and his
[21:43] Speaker 1: best mate came over to help me sort out logistics
[21:46] Speaker 1: of packing up the house because I had 90 days
[21:48] Speaker 1: to get out of the country because I was on
[21:50] Speaker 1: a visa dependent visa so packed up the house and
[21:58] Speaker 1: his work graciously put me my mum and the boys
[22:02] Speaker 1: in business class to fly home everyone rallied around us
[22:07] Speaker 1: all our friends and family were absolutely fantastic once we
[22:10] Speaker 1: landed and Landon was only nine months old at this point,
[22:16] Speaker 1: and Jack was four, so they were still quite young.
[22:20] Speaker 1: We were in New York for about three years and
[22:23] Speaker 1: then came back and just got back into it, moved
[22:28] Speaker 1: back into our old house, waited for our furniture to arrive,
[22:31] Speaker 1: and then I just had to pick up our life
[22:34] Speaker 1: and keep going. And this is the part where everything
[22:37] Speaker 1: is just like, I don't remember much at all. Within
[22:41] Speaker 1: the five years after Jason died, I was just deep
[22:43] Speaker 1: in grief and I was just in survival mode, just
[22:47] Speaker 1: surviving with the boys and trying to get living day
[22:51] Speaker 1: to day. It was a tough time. I can't remember much.
[22:56] Speaker 1: They say that's like post-traumatic. You get like a bit
[23:00] Speaker 1: of a blackout period. I did therapy for it, which
[23:03] Speaker 1: is quite sad because it coincides with my youngest growing
[23:07] Speaker 1: up as well, like first steps, first words. I've just
[23:10] Speaker 1: got like a complete mental blank. I was just in
[23:14] Speaker 1: the thick of it, yeah.
[23:16] Speaker 2: In the five years following Jason's sudden and tragic death,
[23:19] Speaker 2: Anna poured her heart and soul into raising her boys
[23:23] Speaker 2: and building a great life for them. She even returned
[23:25] Speaker 2: to work at the very same accounting firm where she
[23:27] Speaker 2: and Jason had first met all those years ago. The
[23:30] Speaker 2: grief never went away, but over time it began to change.
[23:34] Speaker 2: The periods of darkness slowly lifted, the days became a
[23:37] Speaker 2: little easier and Anna gradually started to find her feet again.
[23:41] Speaker 2: And then one day she made a decision that would
[23:43] Speaker 2: open the door to an entirely new chapter because, dear listeners,
[23:47] Speaker 2: while this might sound like the end of Anna's love story,
[23:50] Speaker 2: it's actually just the beginning of another.
[23:53] Speaker 1: I got to a point where I was like, we
[23:56] Speaker 1: all need a fresh start. So I bought a new house,
[24:00] Speaker 1: no memories linked to Jason. And once that was settled,
[24:06] Speaker 1: I thought, okay, it's been five years. I think I'm
[24:11] Speaker 1: ready to start dating or meet someone else. And I
[24:15] Speaker 1: was getting asked by so many people, like, when are
[24:19] Speaker 1: you going to start dating? And I was like, I
[24:20] Speaker 1: don't know. I felt like I was betraying Jason in
[24:24] Speaker 1: a way by meeting someone. But when I knew I
[24:29] Speaker 1: was ready, it's hard to explain. It's like a feeling.
[24:32] Speaker 1: It's like, okay, I feel it now. I feel confident.
[24:35] Speaker 1: I feel refreshed. Lots of time's gone by. I can
[24:38] Speaker 1: do this. And so my friends were like, Why don't
[24:41] Speaker 1: you try these dating apps and give that a go?
[24:44] Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know if I can
[24:47] Speaker 1: do that. Like I'm so traditional. I'd rather meet someone traditionally. Like, no, no,
[24:52] Speaker 1: do it. So I did it. I created a profile
[24:56] Speaker 1: on Hinge, found some photos where I looked half decent,
[25:01] Speaker 1: and then poured myself a glass of wine, sat down
[25:06] Speaker 1: on the couch, and started flicking through people. It was
[25:09] Speaker 1: actually quite exciting. jumping online and on the apps, like
[25:13] Speaker 1: it's quite exhilarating. It's like, well, this is, it gave
[25:16] Speaker 1: me feelings that I haven't felt before. So I started
[25:20] Speaker 1: flicking through people and I think I matched with a couple,
[25:24] Speaker 1: but only one person I chatted to properly. And that
[25:28] Speaker 1: was a guy called Pat, Patrick. So we swapped numbers
[25:32] Speaker 1: and he called me and we spoke for about five
[25:38] Speaker 1: hours and I was pacing the kitchen bench as I
[25:42] Speaker 1: was telling him my life. And then he eventually asked me,
[25:46] Speaker 1: he's like, oh, what's your background? Like what's the deal
[25:50] Speaker 1: with your ex? And I was like, oh, God, this
[25:52] Speaker 1: is the part where I tell them, you know, my
[25:56] Speaker 1: husband died and that's where he gets freaked out and
[25:58] Speaker 1: he disappears. So I told him and he was so lovely.
[26:03] Speaker 1: He's like, that's so awful, awful thing that happened to you.
[26:07] Speaker 1: And I was just so surprised by his reaction because
[26:10] Speaker 1: in the back of my mind, I was like, no
[26:11] Speaker 1: one's going to date me. I'm two kids. I've got baggage.
[26:15] Speaker 1: Everyone's going to be like, too hard. So it was
[26:18] Speaker 1: really comforting. He was just, it was so nice and
[26:23] Speaker 1: he was so supportive and caring. And I was just thought,
[26:30] Speaker 1: I just thought he was so genuine and lovely. Patrick.
[26:34] Speaker 1: was essentially the first person I spoke to since Jason.
[26:39] Speaker 1: So he's the first person I went on a date
[26:42] Speaker 1: with post-Jason. Chatted to only one person, went on a
[26:46] Speaker 1: date with one person, and that was Patrick. And I
[26:50] Speaker 1: was like, God, I'm lucky. I talked to one person
[26:53] Speaker 1: and I've met this amazing guy. Like, how lucky am I?
[26:56] Speaker 1: That was easy. So we chatted for hours, chatted again
[27:02] Speaker 1: the next night for another few hours. And then eventually
[27:06] Speaker 1: we went on our first date to this pub and
[27:11] Speaker 1: I was really nervous. I got there really early with
[27:13] Speaker 1: my work laptop and I had a wine just to
[27:16] Speaker 1: calm my nerves. I didn't tell anyone that I was
[27:18] Speaker 1: going on a date. I didn't tell my family because
[27:20] Speaker 1: I didn't want everyone being like asking so many questions.
[27:25] Speaker 1: And I also didn't want anyone to judge me, I guess,
[27:29] Speaker 1: because I felt like everyone was going to judge me
[27:32] Speaker 1: dating post-Jason. in a way. So I kind of kept
[27:37] Speaker 1: it a secret. So I was sitting at the pub
[27:41] Speaker 1: on my work laptop, having a wine to calm my nerves,
[27:44] Speaker 1: and then in walks Patrick, and his eyes were sparkling.
[27:49] Speaker 1: It was so nice. He had these beautiful blue, greeny eyes.
[27:53] Speaker 1: And we got a drink, we sat down, started talking,
[27:56] Speaker 1: and the conversation just flowed so easily. We had so
[28:00] Speaker 1: many things in common, from like, we both go for
[28:03] Speaker 1: the West Coast Eagles, and you know, similar work and,
[28:07] Speaker 1: you know, we're mutual friends, which we didn't even realise.
[28:11] Speaker 1: And it was a bit of, like, flirting and back
[28:15] Speaker 1: and forth. And we ended up at the pub until
[28:19] Speaker 1: about 11 o'clock and I was like, I have to
[28:20] Speaker 1: walk back to my car now. And he walked me
[28:22] Speaker 1: back to my car and then we had, like, a
[28:24] Speaker 1: little cheeky kiss. I was like, oh, gosh, he's a
[28:27] Speaker 1: good kisser. That's another tick. And then I jumped back
[28:30] Speaker 1: in the car and went home and couldn't stop thinking
[28:33] Speaker 1: about him. He had a daughter and a son. His
[28:37] Speaker 1: daughter was roughly around the same age as Landon and
[28:40] Speaker 1: his son was roughly around the same age as Jack.
[28:44] Speaker 1: So we had kids in common. In the early months
[28:48] Speaker 1: of dating him, it was so exciting. I was so
[28:53] Speaker 1: giddy and filled with butterflies and excitement and we caught
[29:00] Speaker 1: up every week. I can't explain the feeling that we
[29:04] Speaker 1: had at the beginning. It was just like, it was
[29:06] Speaker 1: just so much fun and we just got along so well.
[29:13] Speaker 1: He told me that he loved me two weeks later
[29:15] Speaker 1: and I was like, oh gosh, that's a bit fast.
[29:17] Speaker 1: So when we first started dating, I told him, let's
[29:20] Speaker 1: take it slow. I'd been through quite a bit and
[29:23] Speaker 1: I want to make sure that he's right for me
[29:25] Speaker 1: and the boys. But within two weeks, he told me
[29:28] Speaker 1: he loved me and I was like, slow down, cowboy.
[29:31] Speaker 1: you know, you're going a bit too fast now. And
[29:33] Speaker 1: he was quite receptive. He did slow down after that,
[29:36] Speaker 1: which was really good because I'd needed a slower pace. Initially,
[29:40] Speaker 1: when he told me that he loved me, I didn't
[29:43] Speaker 1: say it back. And, you know, it became a joke,
[29:46] Speaker 1: a running joke in the end. I was just like, thanks.
[29:49] Speaker 1: I was like, oh, tell you when I'm ready. And
[29:51] Speaker 1: I'm just not there yet. Like it's, I hardly know you.
[29:53] Speaker 1: Like let's, like a relationship is sacred to me and
[29:57] Speaker 1: I'm quite loyal and I want to do this properly.
[29:59] Speaker 1: I don't want to rush into it. But it just,
[30:02] Speaker 1: we're just infatuated with each other. We went on holidays together.
[30:05] Speaker 1: We were just like enveloped. with each other and just
[30:12] Speaker 1: getting to know each other really well and talking about
[30:16] Speaker 1: the future and our hopes and our dreams. And we
[30:19] Speaker 1: both wanted the same thing of blending our family together
[30:24] Speaker 1: and maybe one day getting married again. So after five
[30:28] Speaker 1: years of being alone and meeting Patrick, I finally felt
[30:35] Speaker 1: safe and secure and happy again. I was really excited.
[30:40] Speaker 1: I can't describe the happiness that I felt.
[30:44] Speaker 2: This was the feeling Anna had been longing for, and
[30:47] Speaker 2: for a while they were perfectly happy in their own
[30:49] Speaker 2: little love bubble, enjoying every moment of this new romance.
[30:53] Speaker 2: But they both knew that bubble couldn't last forever, because
[30:56] Speaker 2: sooner or later there were some very important little people
[30:58] Speaker 2: who would need to become part of the picture.
[31:01] Speaker 1: He met the boys when there was a storm one
[31:04] Speaker 1: night in Perth and my fence blew down. So I
[31:07] Speaker 1: called Patrick. He only lived 10 minutes up the road,
[31:11] Speaker 1: which was quite handy. And he came down and fixed
[31:14] Speaker 1: my fence. And I tried to pull the curtains across
[31:19] Speaker 1: so the boys wouldn't see what was happening to the
[31:21] Speaker 1: fence because I thought, oh, I don't want to do
[31:22] Speaker 1: this yet because I don't want them to become attached
[31:24] Speaker 1: if it doesn't work out. Or I wanted to make
[31:27] Speaker 1: sure it was the right time and this wasn't the
[31:29] Speaker 1: right time. But anyway, my youngest, Landon, came outside in
[31:35] Speaker 1: his Batman outfit and he's He's like, there's this strange
[31:39] Speaker 1: man who's fixing the fence. I was like, oh, yeah,
[31:41] Speaker 1: that's a friend. And he went up to Patrick and
[31:45] Speaker 1: he's showing off his Batman outfit. Patrick was just like, oh,
[31:50] Speaker 1: you look like such a cool dude, mate. And just
[31:53] Speaker 1: seeing them interact, it just made my heart swell because,
[32:00] Speaker 1: you know, my boys lost their dad and here was
[32:03] Speaker 1: like a man that I was potentially going to be with.
[32:06] Speaker 1: talking to my son I was just like oh this
[32:08] Speaker 1: is such a nice moment and I was so happy
[32:12] Speaker 1: they got along really well and then so Patrick had
[32:18] Speaker 1: his kids half the time and it came to a
[32:21] Speaker 1: point where I was like well maybe we should introduce
[32:24] Speaker 1: them so we decided to go to the beach to
[32:29] Speaker 1: introduce our kids I took my boys down he brought
[32:33] Speaker 1: his kids down and it was just such a lovely
[32:36] Speaker 1: day We played beach cricket, went swimming. He took the
[32:39] Speaker 1: boys into the ocean because I didn't want to go in.
[32:43] Speaker 1: And I was lying there looking at him take my
[32:46] Speaker 1: kids into the ocean. I just felt so lucky and
[32:49] Speaker 1: so happy that I'd found a man that was going
[32:53] Speaker 1: to look after us essentially. And he was just such
[32:57] Speaker 1: a nice, strong guy. We had the same morals, same
[33:00] Speaker 1: parenting values. And I think I just had so much
[33:05] Speaker 1: hope for us and for the boys to have a stepfather.
[33:13] Speaker 2: Now, I so wish with every fibre of my being
[33:16] Speaker 2: that I could roll the credits right here, wrap this
[33:18] Speaker 2: story up with a big, beautiful bow and tell you
[33:21] Speaker 2: they all lived.
[33:21] Speaker 1: Happily ever after.
[33:23] Speaker 2: But, my dear listeners, you've been with us long enough
[33:25] Speaker 2: to know that's really how these stories go. Sure enough,
[33:28] Speaker 2: around the six-month mark, cracks started to appear. Things that
[33:32] Speaker 2: had once felt so right were suddenly starting to feel
[33:34] Speaker 2: a little off.
[33:37] Speaker 1: He started saying like little things about my friendships and
[33:44] Speaker 1: my connections with Jason's friends and family. And it kind
[33:50] Speaker 1: of came off as a bit of jealousy, I guess,
[33:53] Speaker 1: in a way. He's like, I've never known someone to
[33:56] Speaker 1: have so many guy friends. And I said, well, they're all,
[34:01] Speaker 1: you know, my ex's friends and, you know, they want
[34:04] Speaker 1: to be part of my kids' lives. So yes, I'm
[34:07] Speaker 1: going to have a few male friends. I was actually
[34:11] Speaker 1: really scared about telling Jason's best friend and all his
[34:16] Speaker 1: friends that I'd met someone. I was really nervous. I
[34:20] Speaker 1: felt like I didn't want them to think that I
[34:22] Speaker 1: was betraying Jason in a way. So I get done
[34:28] Speaker 1: telling Patrick, I'll tell them when I'm ready. I guess
[34:32] Speaker 1: now that things are serious between us now. So I
[34:37] Speaker 1: feel comfortable to tell friends and family about you. I
[34:42] Speaker 1: had actually arranged to catch up with Jason's best mate
[34:45] Speaker 1: to tell him in person. And Patrick wanted to come.
[34:50] Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, no, it's fine. Let me
[34:52] Speaker 1: just do it by myself. And then you can meet
[34:56] Speaker 1: all his friends later on. Like, just let me do this.
[34:58] Speaker 1: Let me handle this my own way. Patrick knew where
[35:01] Speaker 1: I was catching up with his friends. And I... I
[35:07] Speaker 1: went there after work and I met his friend and I,
[35:10] Speaker 1: you know, explained the situation and, you know, I was
[35:12] Speaker 1: crying a bit, like, you know, my heart, you know,
[35:15] Speaker 1: Jason will always be in my heart, but I feel
[35:18] Speaker 1: like I'm ready to move forward, blah, blah, blah. And
[35:20] Speaker 1: in the corner of my eye, I see like this
[35:23] Speaker 1: person walk past our table. And then I saw them
[35:28] Speaker 1: turn around and walk back again. And I was like,
[35:30] Speaker 1: who the hell is that? And then I realised... It
[35:35] Speaker 1: was Patrick. He was doing like a recce. He was
[35:37] Speaker 1: just like walking past to see what I was doing
[35:40] Speaker 1: and who I was talking to. And I was like,
[35:42] Speaker 1: why on earth would you do that? When I told
[35:44] Speaker 1: you from the beginning that I wanted to do this
[35:46] Speaker 1: my way, Patrick came up to the table and I
[35:49] Speaker 1: was like, oh, Patrick's here. And so I had to
[35:53] Speaker 1: introduce them. And then I actually had to leave. So
[35:56] Speaker 1: I left them together. And my heart just sunk as
[36:00] Speaker 1: I was walking out. And I was sending angry messages
[36:04] Speaker 1: to him like, how could you do that? And like,
[36:06] Speaker 1: he's just sitting there with him and I don't know
[36:07] Speaker 1: what they're talking about. I'm just like, that's just so
[36:09] Speaker 1: disrespectful to his friend. Like, this is Jason's best mate.
[36:14] Speaker 1: And I was just livid. I was absolutely livid. We
[36:17] Speaker 1: had our first fight after that because I was like,
[36:20] Speaker 1: who does that? Who just randomly turns up? So pretty
[36:24] Speaker 1: much from that day, I saw him in a different light.
[36:27] Speaker 1: And then bits and pieces just kept on happening after that.
[36:31] Speaker 1: We were just constantly fighting about various things. And then
[36:39] Speaker 1: it got to a couple of months later and it
[36:41] Speaker 1: was my birthday. And I don't know why, but he
[36:47] Speaker 1: decided to pick a fight on my birthday. He was
[36:50] Speaker 1: just texting me nasty things. And we had arranged to
[36:53] Speaker 1: catch up for dinner with our kids. And he was
[36:56] Speaker 1: just hostile and angry. And I was like, can you
[37:00] Speaker 1: not do this? This is my birthday, this is our
[37:02] Speaker 1: first birthday together and you're making it shit. This isn't
[37:09] Speaker 1: what you're meant to do. After everything I've been through,
[37:12] Speaker 1: like I deserve happiness or like pampered or something because
[37:17] Speaker 1: it's been six years of just me and the boys.
[37:22] Speaker 1: It just felt so wrong. And then the wheels kind
[37:26] Speaker 1: of fell off the relationship after that where we'll just
[37:29] Speaker 1: constantly be He was just constantly picking fights with me
[37:32] Speaker 1: over the most stupidest things. And another big one was
[37:39] Speaker 1: about parenting. He thought that I wasn't parenting the boys properly.
[37:44] Speaker 1: And he used to send me links on how to
[37:45] Speaker 1: parent the boys. And I'm like, you have no role
[37:48] Speaker 1: in any of this. We've only been together for about
[37:53] Speaker 1: eight months. You don't really have a say on how
[37:56] Speaker 1: I parent the boys? Yes. And he also got very
[37:59] Speaker 1: jealous about my relationship with Jason's family. I had to
[38:04] Speaker 1: tell Jason's mom that I'd met someone and that was
[38:06] Speaker 1: also a hard conversation. I sat down with her and
[38:10] Speaker 1: I explained it. I said, I've met someone who's really lovely.
[38:13] Speaker 1: He's really nice. And she just looked at me and
[38:17] Speaker 1: she just cried. She's like, I just want you to
[38:18] Speaker 1: be happy. Just want you and the boys to be happy.
[38:21] Speaker 1: So when you're ready, like introduce us. And I was like, sure.
[38:26] Speaker 1: But over time I knew that she wasn't really comfortable
[38:28] Speaker 1: with me meeting someone. So when it came to family
[38:32] Speaker 1: events on that side of the family, I didn't invite
[38:38] Speaker 1: Patrick to any of them because it was just too
[38:40] Speaker 1: awkward and I wanted to respect his mum because she
[38:44] Speaker 1: never spoke about, she never once asked about Patrick after
[38:49] Speaker 1: I told her about him. And I thought, oh, she's
[38:53] Speaker 1: just not comfortable. She's not there yet. And that's fine.
[38:56] Speaker 1: He very much wanted to be part of the family
[39:00] Speaker 1: and he kept on pushing it on me and pushing
[39:02] Speaker 1: it on me. He's like, well, you shouldn't go if
[39:05] Speaker 1: I can't go. And I was like, no, that's not
[39:06] Speaker 1: how it works. I felt like the middleman. I was
[39:09] Speaker 1: trying to please Patrick and I was trying to do
[39:13] Speaker 1: the right thing by having a relationship with Jason's family and,
[39:18] Speaker 1: you know, keeping the connection with the boys and his
[39:21] Speaker 1: dad's side of the family. And I just felt stuck
[39:23] Speaker 1: and I kept on explaining it to Patrick She's not
[39:27] Speaker 1: ready yet. She's not ready yet. You've got to calm down.
[39:29] Speaker 1: You can't keep forcing this on me. And he broke
[39:32] Speaker 1: up with me over it because he felt like he
[39:36] Speaker 1: wasn't involved with Jason. family, which I thought was quite,
[39:43] Speaker 1: I was quite shocked by it really. And to break
[39:46] Speaker 1: up over something like that, I was dumbfounded. I was
[39:49] Speaker 1: like completely shocked. But I think he went away and
[39:52] Speaker 1: he thought about it and he came back the next day.
[39:55] Speaker 1: He's like, you know, you're right. I'm sorry. You know,
[39:58] Speaker 1: I should respect. her boundaries and I shouldn't put you
[40:01] Speaker 1: in the middle and I was like, oh, okay, thanks,
[40:03] Speaker 1: he's realised. So we got back together. And then that
[40:06] Speaker 1: became the beginning of a pattern for the next two
[40:10] Speaker 1: years where we would just break up every two or
[40:13] Speaker 1: three weeks over minor things or big things.
[40:17] Speaker 2: It was really starting to take its toll on Anna.
[40:20] Speaker 2: This wasn't the relationship she'd signed up for and she
[40:23] Speaker 2: was reaching her breaking point, ready to call it quits,
[40:26] Speaker 2: walk away and put the whole thing behind her. But then.
[40:30] Speaker 1: two years into our relationship, maybe two and a half
[40:32] Speaker 1: years into our relationship, I noticed that my breast started
[40:37] Speaker 1: to change. And I was like, oh, I better go
[40:40] Speaker 1: get that checked out. Well, he's actually the one that
[40:42] Speaker 1: made me go get it checked out. I was just like, no,
[40:45] Speaker 1: it's probably nothing. I'm 37, whatever. It's probably nothing. But anyway,
[40:49] Speaker 1: I'll get it checked out anyway. And in the back
[40:52] Speaker 1: of my mind, I was actually thinking of ending it
[40:55] Speaker 1: with Patrick, but I was clinging onto this hope that
[40:58] Speaker 1: he would change. But anyway, I went to the doctors,
[41:02] Speaker 1: got my breast checked and the results came back that
[41:06] Speaker 1: you've got breast cancer. So it turned out to be
[41:17] Speaker 1: stage three invasive lobular carcinoma and I had two tumours
[41:23] Speaker 1: in my breast. I went straight into survival mode and.
[41:31] Speaker 1: If you ever want to get to know someone, you
[41:35] Speaker 1: should have a terminal illness. The day that I got
[41:39] Speaker 1: told that it was malignant cancer, I took Patrick with
[41:44] Speaker 1: me to the doctor's office. And, you know, the doctor
[41:48] Speaker 1: told me the results and I just started crying my
[41:51] Speaker 1: eyes out. And then the nurse takes him to like
[41:54] Speaker 1: a little room after. And Patrick's on his like work computer.
[41:57] Speaker 1: And I was like, what is he doing? The nurse
[42:00] Speaker 1: is looking at him and looking at me. And I
[42:02] Speaker 1: looked over and he's actually typing what was happening on
[42:05] Speaker 1: his Teams to all his mates at his work while
[42:09] Speaker 1: I'm crying my eyes out. And the nurse is looking
[42:12] Speaker 1: at me like, shouldn't you be focusing on your partner
[42:16] Speaker 1: right now? And he's like, oh yeah, sorry. He closed
[42:18] Speaker 1: his laptop and then he started consoling me. I should
[42:24] Speaker 1: have just walked away then. And then after that, it
[42:28] Speaker 1: was almost like our relationship was a like a, like
[42:34] Speaker 1: a show to him. Like he was really big into
[42:36] Speaker 1: social media and I'm not. And so he started posting
[42:40] Speaker 1: all these updates about me and like my cancer journey.
[42:43] Speaker 1: And I was like, can you please stop? Cause you know,
[42:45] Speaker 1: this is my private journey and I don't really want
[42:47] Speaker 1: people to know just yet. Like I'll let them know
[42:50] Speaker 1: when I'm ready. And I kind of felt like he
[42:52] Speaker 1: was using my journey as a way to get sympathy
[42:55] Speaker 1: from others for him, not for me. When I had
[42:59] Speaker 1: to shave my hair, I got Patrick and Landon and
[43:03] Speaker 1: my mum to shave my hair when it started falling
[43:06] Speaker 1: out and I recorded it and we went to a
[43:12] Speaker 1: picnic because at this point Patrick had been introduced to
[43:16] Speaker 1: the rest of Jason's friends and we have this annual
[43:19] Speaker 1: Christmas picnic. And I posted this video of me shaving
[43:23] Speaker 1: my hair and I went to the picnic and Patrick
[43:28] Speaker 1: was there And then all my friends brought it up. Like,
[43:31] Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Anna, that video was just like, it
[43:35] Speaker 1: was so sad. And then Patrick pipes up. He's like, yeah,
[43:39] Speaker 1: she posted it and I look so fat. And everyone
[43:42] Speaker 1: just went dead quiet. Like, it's not about you. It's
[43:46] Speaker 1: about Anna. No one's looking at you or like how
[43:50] Speaker 1: you look. Everyone's looking at me shaving my head. So
[43:54] Speaker 1: I had surgery in September and then From December, I
[43:58] Speaker 1: started having chemo and chemo was four months of chemo
[44:02] Speaker 1: every two weeks. And during that time, Patrick would sometimes
[44:07] Speaker 1: drop me off and pick me up because you can't
[44:09] Speaker 1: have someone in the chemo chair with you. And I
[44:13] Speaker 1: remember one time I was having chemo and I normally
[44:17] Speaker 1: feel quite sick after chemo. I just want to come
[44:19] Speaker 1: straight home and curl up in bed. And he had
[44:23] Speaker 1: actually taken the day off work and He went to
[44:27] Speaker 1: the beach and I'm sitting there in the chemo chair
[44:29] Speaker 1: and he sent me all these photos of him at
[44:30] Speaker 1: the beach. And I was just like, in my head,
[44:33] Speaker 1: I was like, can you not like, you're kind of
[44:36] Speaker 1: rubbing salt in the wound. Like you get to go
[44:37] Speaker 1: out and have so much fun and I can't. And
[44:41] Speaker 1: so like normally I text him about 30 minutes before
[44:46] Speaker 1: I'm due to finish and walk out the door. So
[44:48] Speaker 1: I texted him and I was like, oh, 30 minutes
[44:51] Speaker 1: if you want to leave the beach now. And he's like,
[44:53] Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'll leave shortly. I was like, oh, okay.
[44:58] Speaker 1: And he knows how sick I get. So at the
[45:01] Speaker 1: end of 30 minutes, I finish up and I text him.
[45:03] Speaker 1: I was like, oh, where are you? I'm just leaving now.
[45:05] Speaker 1: He's like, oh, I'm still at the beach. I was like, oh, okay,
[45:08] Speaker 1: don't worry about it. I'll just jump in an Uber
[45:10] Speaker 1: and go home. And he's like, no, no, no, I'll
[45:12] Speaker 1: leave now. No, no, no, it's fine. I was like, no,
[45:15] Speaker 1: don't worry about it. So I jumped in an Uber
[45:17] Speaker 1: and went home and I just climbed into bed. And
[45:20] Speaker 1: then about 45 minutes later, he comes storming through the
[45:23] Speaker 1: front door and he's like, why are Fuck, did you
[45:26] Speaker 1: get an Uber? I told you I was coming to
[45:27] Speaker 1: pick you up. And I said, I felt sick. I
[45:31] Speaker 1: just wanted to come home. It's not a big deal.
[45:33] Speaker 1: And he's like, I could have stayed at the beach longer.
[45:35] Speaker 1: And I was just like, are you out of your
[45:39] Speaker 1: mind right now? Like, I just had chemo. I just
[45:42] Speaker 1: wanted to come home. You know how I feel. And
[45:46] Speaker 1: he's like, you need to apologize for me. Like, he
[45:49] Speaker 1: made it all about him and like how he went
[45:52] Speaker 1: out of his way and he could have stayed at
[45:54] Speaker 1: the beach. And I was just like, why are you
[45:57] Speaker 1: getting angry at me? I just had chemo. I just
[46:00] Speaker 1: want to come home. You are such an asshole right now.
[46:06] Speaker 1: And that was when I knew that I didn't want
[46:09] Speaker 1: to be with him anymore. I was hoping to lean
[46:12] Speaker 1: on him as much as I could, but he wasn't
[46:15] Speaker 1: the support that I could get, if that makes sense.
[46:20] Speaker 1: We still weren't living together. My mum ended up moving
[46:24] Speaker 1: in and helping me with the boys during chemo and
[46:26] Speaker 1: radiation and things like that and I just felt like
[46:28] Speaker 1: I couldn't depend on him. Even like emotionally, you know,
[46:33] Speaker 1: I lost all my hair, I lost my eyebrows, I
[46:35] Speaker 1: lost everything and I was quite vulnerable. It was the
[46:38] Speaker 1: worst time of my life.
[46:41] Speaker 2: What made matters even worse was that Anna had already
[46:44] Speaker 2: made some pretty significant compromises for Patrick. She'd given him
[46:47] Speaker 2: the freedom to live life on his own terms accepting
[46:50] Speaker 2: and supporting a part of who he was from the
[46:52] Speaker 2: very beginning of their relationship. And that understanding continued right
[46:57] Speaker 2: up until Anna was literally on her deathbed.
[47:00] Speaker 1: Now, there's a lot to unpack here. I'll let Anna explain.
[47:04] Speaker 1: So at the beginning of our relationship, Patrick was quite sexual,
[47:09] Speaker 1: I guess. We were very sexually compatible. And I think
[47:14] Speaker 1: because I hadn't been with anyone for so long, there's
[47:17] Speaker 1: this thing called widow's fire. where you just get filled
[47:20] Speaker 1: with so much, like, what's the word? Desire, I guess,
[47:25] Speaker 1: for intimacy. So we were all quite well connected, like, sexually.
[47:31] Speaker 1: And we used to talk about it quite a lot.
[47:33] Speaker 1: And one of the topics of discussion was, like, would
[47:37] Speaker 1: you ever go to a swingers? And I was like,
[47:39] Speaker 1: I mean, like, I won't say no. I've never been,
[47:41] Speaker 1: but I won't say no. And then one night after
[47:44] Speaker 1: a night out at some event, he's like, oh, should
[47:47] Speaker 1: we go check it out? I was like, okay, fine,
[47:50] Speaker 1: we'll go. And we went and didn't do anything because
[47:56] Speaker 1: I just wanted to watch. I didn't want to partake
[47:58] Speaker 1: in anything. And then it kind of went from there.
[48:02] Speaker 1: We went back a few more times and he participated
[48:06] Speaker 1: in a few group events and I was always on
[48:11] Speaker 1: the fence about it, but he was really into it.
[48:14] Speaker 1: And during like some of these moments, you talk about
[48:17] Speaker 1: like fantasies of being like with men as well I
[48:20] Speaker 1: think he had I used to say oh like oh
[48:23] Speaker 1: you buy he's like I'm bi curious I was like
[48:25] Speaker 1: okay that's interesting that's fine I'm open to whatever you're
[48:28] Speaker 1: into that's totally fine like you are who you are
[48:32] Speaker 1: and so like going to the swingers became I think
[48:35] Speaker 1: more for him I think to experiment I think with
[48:39] Speaker 1: guys and we had a lot of fun like eventually
[48:44] Speaker 1: I warmed up to it and we did like eventually
[48:46] Speaker 1: hook up with some other couples and things like that.
[48:50] Speaker 1: Or we'll just have sex, just us in like one
[48:52] Speaker 1: of the private rooms or whatever. But during chemo, he
[48:57] Speaker 1: used to go to a place that was just for
[48:59] Speaker 1: like gay or bi men. And he's like, oh, he
[49:03] Speaker 1: always wanted to check it out. So he went to
[49:05] Speaker 1: this place and I think he hooked up with a guy.
[49:08] Speaker 1: And I was like, hooking up with other people wasn't
[49:10] Speaker 1: really a deal breaker for our relationship if we knew
[49:14] Speaker 1: about it, if I knew about it. Like I'd never,
[49:16] Speaker 1: it wasn't a deal breaker for me, but it was
[49:19] Speaker 1: for him. So I had no interest in hooking up
[49:23] Speaker 1: with anyone else outside of being with Patrick, but he
[49:27] Speaker 1: was okay to hook up with other people. as long
[49:30] Speaker 1: as I knew about it so he went to like
[49:34] Speaker 1: the all guys clubs whatever and he's like I just
[49:38] Speaker 1: want to see what it's like I was like that's
[49:39] Speaker 1: fine go experiment do your thing but I said under
[49:42] Speaker 1: one condition like make sure you come back and reconnect
[49:45] Speaker 1: with me because like I've done some research on how
[49:48] Speaker 1: couples have maintain relationships like open relationships like this and
[49:54] Speaker 1: one of the big things is you know you've got
[49:56] Speaker 1: to reconnect at the end after it all so he'd
[50:00] Speaker 1: go to like the men's clubs and like fool around
[50:04] Speaker 1: and come back and tell me all about it I
[50:05] Speaker 1: was like oh that's really cool he's like yeah and
[50:08] Speaker 1: he always used to thank me he's like thanks for
[50:10] Speaker 1: like always letting me explore my sexuality I was like
[50:15] Speaker 1: that's fine like you only get one life to live
[50:18] Speaker 1: if you want to explore go explore He's like, oh,
[50:21] Speaker 1: you always make me feel so safe and, you know,
[50:23] Speaker 1: I can always trust you. But during chemo, because I
[50:28] Speaker 1: couldn't really have sex that much, I was pretty sick
[50:32] Speaker 1: and I looked horrendous with no hair and things like that.
[50:35] Speaker 1: And my self-confidence went through the floor. I kind of
[50:39] Speaker 1: allowed him to, like, go to the swingers' place by
[50:42] Speaker 1: himself without me. Again, under this condition that you come
[50:47] Speaker 1: back and reconnect with me. And... He would go and
[50:53] Speaker 1: then come back but then he wouldn't reconnect with me
[50:56] Speaker 1: and I started feeling really hurt because I wasn't getting
[51:05] Speaker 1: this intimacy or this connection after what was happening and
[51:09] Speaker 1: then I felt rejected and like ugly and because I
[51:14] Speaker 1: had no hair and like I was just screaming for
[51:17] Speaker 1: attention from him. And I'd explain this to him all
[51:19] Speaker 1: the time, like, I just want you to hold me.
[51:22] Speaker 1: And I'd cry. I'm like, I just want you to
[51:24] Speaker 1: hold me and just tell me that everything's going to
[51:26] Speaker 1: be all right or tell me that I'm beautiful. And
[51:28] Speaker 1: he never did. Every time I tried to bring up
[51:31] Speaker 1: how I was feeling, he'd always brush it away or
[51:34] Speaker 1: twist it back onto him and how he's feeling and
[51:37] Speaker 1: how much he has to deal with all this cancer stuff.
[51:40] Speaker 1: And I was like, this is ridiculous. And so I
[51:43] Speaker 1: ended up just holding in my feelings and just to
[51:47] Speaker 1: saved the peace in a way. And it made me
[51:49] Speaker 1: really resentful. You know, how can I allow him to
[51:53] Speaker 1: go out and do all these hookups and then I
[51:55] Speaker 1: don't get anything out of it.
[51:58] Speaker 2: All things combined, Anna was done. So she broke up
[52:01] Speaker 2: with him.
[52:02] Speaker 1: Well, sort of. I tried to break up with him
[52:05] Speaker 1: so many times, but he would always turn up at
[52:08] Speaker 1: my house in the middle of the night and like
[52:12] Speaker 1: He knows where, like, my key's hidden, so he'd come
[52:15] Speaker 1: inside and, like, wake me up in the middle of
[52:16] Speaker 1: the night. And he was just like, he just would
[52:20] Speaker 1: not let go. And then I just slowly started emotionally
[52:28] Speaker 1: pushing him away, in a sense. Like, he wanted to
[52:31] Speaker 1: move in. I was like, no, not ready yet, not
[52:34] Speaker 1: ready yet.
[52:35] Speaker 2: Here's the thing about relationships like this one. There's often
[52:38] Speaker 2: one final moment that pushes someone over the edge. The
[52:41] Speaker 2: moment when everything they've tolerated, forgiven and brushed aside suddenly
[52:45] Speaker 2: becomes just too much and there's simply no coming back.
[52:48] Speaker 2: So without further ado, let me introduce the straw to
[52:51] Speaker 2: the camel's back.
[52:53] Speaker 1: I went away with my mum and the boys to
[52:54] Speaker 1: Singapore and it was my son's birthday. And for some reason,
[53:02] Speaker 1: Patrick and my youngest, Landon, didn't, he didn't really like
[53:07] Speaker 1: my youngest son and I don't know why. He always
[53:12] Speaker 1: thought that he was an unruly child, and he's not.
[53:16] Speaker 1: My youngest is like, he's a character, that's for sure.
[53:21] Speaker 1: But in this message that I received on my son's birthday,
[53:24] Speaker 1: he's like, I was like, oh, I'm having so much
[53:27] Speaker 1: fun over here. I'm making memories with the boys. He's like, oh,
[53:31] Speaker 1: at least I don't have Landon as a son. He
[53:35] Speaker 1: always thought that Landon's got ADHD. And He probably does
[53:41] Speaker 1: have elements of ADHD, but it doesn't make him a
[53:43] Speaker 1: bad kid. And then he's like, oh, it's a joke,
[53:48] Speaker 1: just joking. And then I just put my foot down
[53:51] Speaker 1: and said, that's it. I'm done. I can't do this anymore.
[53:54] Speaker 1: I wanted to break up with him when I was
[53:56] Speaker 1: going through cancer treatment, but I couldn't do it. I
[53:59] Speaker 1: just wasn't in the right headspace. So I decided to
[54:02] Speaker 1: wait and wait till I was through all the cancer
[54:05] Speaker 1: treatment and then I was going to do it. And
[54:08] Speaker 1: there was numerous breakups. And then that was just the
[54:11] Speaker 1: straw that broke the camel's back. And I thought, I
[54:13] Speaker 1: can't do it, but I feel strong enough now. We
[54:16] Speaker 1: stopped talking, but in the back of my mind, I
[54:19] Speaker 1: was like, he's going to come and hook me back in.
[54:22] Speaker 1: And so I just sat waiting for him to message
[54:25] Speaker 1: me or turn up at my house. I didn't sleep
[54:28] Speaker 1: for months, a month after, just expecting him to turn
[54:32] Speaker 1: up at my house in the middle of the night.
[54:34] Speaker 1: And then We were expected to go to Bali together
[54:38] Speaker 1: because we booked this trip to Bali. And I was like,
[54:43] Speaker 1: I don't know where to go. Like, what do I do?
[54:47] Speaker 1: So this is four weeks after Singapore. And so it
[54:50] Speaker 1: got to the day of Bali. I was waiting for
[54:52] Speaker 1: him to reach out to me to be like, what
[54:53] Speaker 1: should we do about Bali? Never reached out to me.
[54:57] Speaker 1: And it got to like a couple of days before Bali.
[55:00] Speaker 1: I was like, I can't go. I'm not going to go.
[55:03] Speaker 1: So I decided not to turn up to the airport.
[55:06] Speaker 1: And he ended up going to Bali by himself. I
[55:10] Speaker 1: felt so bad that he went by himself, but I
[55:13] Speaker 1: now know that he met someone over there. So he
[55:17] Speaker 1: moves on quite quickly from relationship to relationship. And I
[55:21] Speaker 1: think that was a red flag that I ignored from
[55:23] Speaker 1: the beginning when I found out about his dating history.
[55:27] Speaker 1: He's just, he's been with so many girls, one relationship
[55:30] Speaker 1: after another, that he's just never really settled. and I
[55:34] Speaker 1: kind of feel safer now. You know, I can sleep
[55:37] Speaker 1: through the night knowing that he's not going to turn
[55:38] Speaker 1: up and I've got him blocked on everything. And it
[55:42] Speaker 1: was just a nightmare, a nightmare of a relationship. And
[55:45] Speaker 1: now it's put me off dating again. Post breaking up
[55:49] Speaker 1: with Patrick, I decided to, I wasn't coping very well.
[55:54] Speaker 1: Like I wasn't sleeping because I was, you know, I
[55:56] Speaker 1: was hypervigilant and I was like riddled with anxiety that
[55:59] Speaker 1: he's going to turn up or hook me back in.
[56:01] Speaker 1: I wanted to be strong enough to, not get sucked
[56:04] Speaker 1: back into the relationship. So I started therapy again. I
[56:07] Speaker 1: did it after Jason passed away. I did a bit
[56:10] Speaker 1: of therapy to overcome the grief because I looked back
[56:16] Speaker 1: in the last three years that I was with Patrick
[56:18] Speaker 1: and also fighting cancer and I was just like, what
[56:21] Speaker 1: the fuck have I just been through for the last
[56:24] Speaker 1: three years? Like I was fighting cancer and I was
[56:28] Speaker 1: trying to like end this relationship and it's like I
[56:30] Speaker 1: was trying to grieve both of them So I've been
[56:35] Speaker 1: doing lots of therapy, lots of healing to work out
[56:40] Speaker 1: why I wasn't strong enough to walk away from the
[56:42] Speaker 1: relationship at the beginning, why he was the way he was.
[56:46] Speaker 1: There was elements of narcissist personalities in amongst it all.
[56:54] Speaker 1: Just try and process everything that happened in my life
[56:58] Speaker 1: and where I'm at now and slowly build my confidence
[57:02] Speaker 1: that was knocked down because of the cancer and, you know,
[57:05] Speaker 1: the relationship ending and why wasn't I good enough for
[57:10] Speaker 1: Patrick and, you know, why are all these awful things
[57:14] Speaker 1: happening to me in my life, like, you know, losing
[57:17] Speaker 1: Jason and just a bit of, yeah, reflection and, you know,
[57:22] Speaker 1: filling up my toolkit with tools and, like, to kind of, like,
[57:27] Speaker 1: live a normal, happy life, I guess. at the moment
[57:35] Speaker 1: cancer hasn't returned touch wood but I'm high risk of
[57:38] Speaker 1: recurrence so it's bound to come back I'm just not
[57:41] Speaker 1: sure when and so when I look to the future
[57:45] Speaker 1: it's like do I want to is there any point
[57:47] Speaker 1: in finding another a man you know if I'm just
[57:51] Speaker 1: not going to be here or what happens if I
[57:53] Speaker 1: find like another Patrick and like all these thoughts like
[57:56] Speaker 1: run through my head of What happens if I don't
[57:59] Speaker 1: meet the right person again? And, you know, I get
[58:01] Speaker 1: a recurrence and I have to go through it all again.
[58:03] Speaker 1: And I think I've just got a bit of PTSD
[58:06] Speaker 1: and I just need to work.
[58:08] Speaker 2: Out what I want.
[58:08] Speaker 1: But I'm just taking it day by day. What's driving
[58:12] Speaker 1: me at the moment is getting back into my routine,
[58:15] Speaker 1: you know, being back at work four days a week and,
[58:17] Speaker 1: you know, doing things that I couldn't do before when
[58:20] Speaker 1: I was so unwell, like hanging out with my friends and,
[58:23] Speaker 1: you know, getting on back on track with the boys and,
[58:25] Speaker 1: you know, one started high school and he's at his
[58:30] Speaker 1: dad's old school so it's like creating memories with him
[58:34] Speaker 1: and just i'm on this healing journey i guess operation
[58:39] Speaker 1: glow up i lost all my hair so trying i've
[58:42] Speaker 1: got extensions now that i got the other week so
[58:45] Speaker 1: i'm just trying to slowly build my way back up
[58:48] Speaker 1: to where i was.
[58:48] Speaker 2: Before Everyone Has an X is a Minty Media production
[59:08] Speaker 2: and proudly part of the Mamma Mia Network. This episode
[59:11] Speaker 2: was narrated by me, Georgia Love. Interview conducted, written and
[59:14] Speaker 2: produced by Linda Scott. If you have a story you'd
[59:17] Speaker 2: like to share, email everyonehasanx at mintymedia. You can support
[59:22] Speaker 2: us by following the show in your favourite podcast app,
[59:24] Speaker 2: sharing it with a friend and leaving a five-star review.
[59:27] Speaker 2: We'll see you for the next one.

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