# What A Girl Wants

An episode of [Everyone Has An Ex](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1502664617), 13 Oct 2026, 46 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/fe4043fe-7983-496d-8f85-b132005537f8/9d4485d3-607b-4043-a259-b4e1002e6a0d/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=d21b7a93-3a2f-4ae7-ac90-b13200553810

Michelle was 23 when she packed up her life in New York City and moved to Sydney, where a chance encounter on the streets of Bondi led her straight into the arms of Finn. Their whirlwind romance had all the makings of a fairytale. But when her visa expired, they were forced to navigate a long-distance relationship that ultimately ended in heartbreak. Convinced Finn was her soulmate and the one who got away, Michelle spent years believing the universe would eventually bring them back together. And when she finally got the second chance she'd been manifesting, she discovered that sometimes the universe has a very different plan for your happily-ever-after. Have a story that you'd like to share? Email us or send us a voice mail here. Email: everyonehasanex@mintymedia.com.au Follow us on Instagram: @everyonehasanex See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:10] Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mamma Mia podcast.
[0:14] Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
[0:17] Speaker 2: waters this podcast is recorded on. Timing is everything. We
[0:28] Speaker 2: hear that so much when it comes to love and relationships,
[0:31] Speaker 2: because there may come a time you meet the love
[0:33] Speaker 2: of your life, but the life part gets in the way.
[0:36] Speaker 2: The love is there, the chemistry is there, but the timing, terrible.
[0:40] Speaker 2: The distance, impossible. And the circumstances, well, they're just completely
[0:45] Speaker 2: out of your hands. You are perfect for each other,
[0:47] Speaker 2: just not the life you're actually living. And that's what
[0:50] Speaker 2: happened for Michelle and Finn.
[0:52] Speaker 3: I just kept blaming it on the distance. Like if
[0:55] Speaker 3: we lived in the same country or the same state,
[0:58] Speaker 3: like we would be able to do this, like we
[0:59] Speaker 3: would be able to work it out. So I just
[1:02] Speaker 3: blamed the distance on everything, that it was only the distance,
[1:07] Speaker 3: that we still loved each other, both of us. And
[1:10] Speaker 3: I was convinced in my head and in my soul
[1:13] Speaker 3: that he was the one.
[1:15] Speaker 2: But when you're convinced you've found the one, you'll do
[1:17] Speaker 2: almost anything to make it work. And that's where the
[1:20] Speaker 2: power of manifestation comes in. Believe it hard enough, put
[1:24] Speaker 2: it out into the universe, and maybe, just maybe, you
[1:27] Speaker 2: can make it happen. What's meant for you will always come.
[1:30] Speaker 3: So he came all this way, and I thought this
[1:33] Speaker 3: was our magical time to be together. He has come
[1:36] Speaker 3: all this way. He's now in my country. We're going
[1:38] Speaker 3: to have the best time. And that's just not what happened.
[1:52] Speaker 2: I'm Georgia Love and this is Everyone Has an Ex.
[1:54] Speaker 2: Come with me as we dive into a collection of
[1:57] Speaker 2: unconventional stories about relationships past, through the eyes and the
[2:01] Speaker 2: hearts of the very people who lived them. I think
[2:04] Speaker 2: I speak for a lot of us when I say
[2:06] Speaker 2: there was a time when moving to New York City
[2:08] Speaker 2: in your 20s was the ultimate dream. Sex and the
[2:11] Speaker 2: City had us convinced we should pack our bags, move
[2:14] Speaker 2: to Manhattan and try our luck at finding our very
[2:17] Speaker 2: own Mr Big, Aiden or even Alexander Petrovsky. But Michelle... Well,
[2:21] Speaker 2: she was already living the New York dream, and instead
[2:23] Speaker 2: of chasing it, she decided to flip the script completely,
[2:27] Speaker 2: packing her bags, leaving Manhattan behind, and moving halfway across
[2:31] Speaker 2: the world to Sydney, Australia. Carrie Bradshaw would never.
[2:35] Speaker 1: I was 23 years old.
[2:37] Speaker 3: I had just left my job in fashion in New
[2:40] Speaker 3: York City to do a working holiday in Sydney, Australia.
[2:44] Speaker 3: And so I, of course, moved to Bondi, and I
[2:48] Speaker 3: got a job working at Hurricane Spa and Grill. And
[2:51] Speaker 3: I was walking home around midnight one night, smelling of
[2:54] Speaker 3: Hurricane's Rib Sauce. And I met these two guys outside
[2:59] Speaker 3: of a bar. And they were walking in the same
[3:01] Speaker 3: direction I was back home. And they asked me what
[3:04] Speaker 3: my name was. We ended up living about two streets
[3:07] Speaker 3: away from each other. And they offered for me to
[3:11] Speaker 3: come in and have another drink with them.
[3:13] Speaker 1: So I did, of course.
[3:15] Speaker 3: And I started to really fancy this one guy who
[3:19] Speaker 3: was named Finn.
[3:21] Speaker 2: The other guy was Finn's roommate. Now, he won't feature
[3:23] Speaker 2: for very long in this story, but don't underestimate his
[3:26] Speaker 2: importance because without him, this whole meet-cute may never have happened.
[3:30] Speaker 1: I cringe at this moment all the time. I actually
[3:33] Speaker 1: complimented his roommate's.
[3:35] Speaker 3: Bike bell because he dinged his bike because they were
[3:38] Speaker 3: behind me and they needed to get through. And I
[3:40] Speaker 3: was like, oh my God, I love your bike bell.
[3:41] Speaker 3: Where'd you get it? And I was like, where'd you
[3:43] Speaker 3: get your bike bell? Of course, from like a bike shop. Anyway,
[3:46] Speaker 3: so his roommate was like, oh yeah, at a bike store,
[3:48] Speaker 3: anywhere you could buy bikes. And I was like, OK.
[3:50] Speaker 3: And then we just started chatting. And Finn actually was
[3:54] Speaker 3: very quiet. And I actually didn't think he was into
[3:57] Speaker 3: me at all at first. And his roommate kind of was.
[4:01] Speaker 3: And his roommate was very forward, very chatty. And he
[4:03] Speaker 3: was the one who actually invited me over. So Finn
[4:06] Speaker 3: did invite me over. He barely even talked. But then
[4:08] Speaker 3: once we got inside, he kind of started coming out
[4:11] Speaker 3: of his shell. And I started to feel more attracted
[4:14] Speaker 3: to Finn than his roommate. And then I think his
[4:16] Speaker 3: roommate kind of got the kind of got it and
[4:19] Speaker 3: then just left us alone to have a chat. And then, yeah,
[4:22] Speaker 3: he ended up walking me home. And we had a
[4:25] Speaker 3: very intimate night together. And after that, we were basically together.
[4:30] Speaker 3: He was Swedish born, lived in Australia at this point,
[4:33] Speaker 3: I think for about five years. He was already like
[4:36] Speaker 3: a permanent resident or getting his permanent residency. Our friend
[4:41] Speaker 3: groups really like meshed well. Like I got along great
[4:44] Speaker 3: with all his friends and he got along great with
[4:47] Speaker 3: my friends. We hung out at the beach a lot.
[4:50] Speaker 3: We only lived two blocks away. He was very, you know,
[4:53] Speaker 3: generous and caring. And, you know, we cooked meals together.
[4:57] Speaker 3: We kind of already cohabitated together because we lived two
[5:00] Speaker 3: blocks away. So we were literally always together. I met
[5:04] Speaker 3: his family. It seems at first, I guess it was like, oh,
[5:08] Speaker 3: this is fun. It almost felt like we were just
[5:10] Speaker 3: on holidays all the time, right? You know, you're just
[5:12] Speaker 3: living in Bondi. Everything's cruisy. But It got pretty serious
[5:17] Speaker 3: pretty fast. It was very intense, very fast. We were
[5:22] Speaker 3: very physically attracted to each other. We said, I love
[5:25] Speaker 3: you very quickly. And there was just such an attraction there,
[5:31] Speaker 3: I think, on all levels. And we just really had
[5:36] Speaker 3: a great time together. And maybe it was a lot
[5:39] Speaker 3: of lust, but there was just a lot of fun
[5:42] Speaker 3: times as well. And yeah, I think it all just
[5:46] Speaker 3: happened really fast.
[5:48] Speaker 2: As the old saying goes, time flies when you're having fun.
[5:51] Speaker 2: Unfortunately for Michelle and Finn, time was the one thing
[5:54] Speaker 2: they didn't have on their side. Michelle's visa was only
[5:57] Speaker 2: months away from expiring, which meant some big decisions were looming.
[6:01] Speaker 2: And the weight of what came next was starting to
[6:03] Speaker 2: hang over both of them.
[6:05] Speaker 3: I started to notice that I was getting in my, like,
[6:07] Speaker 3: And it was also winter, obviously, in Sydney, which is
[6:11] Speaker 3: actually really cold. I don't think people realize how cold
[6:13] Speaker 3: it gets in Sydney because there's no heating. And so
[6:17] Speaker 3: I already have a bit of seasonal depression, but I
[6:20] Speaker 3: definitely was in like an anxiety, depression mode. Like I
[6:23] Speaker 3: wasn't eating. I was sleeping all the time. I remember
[6:25] Speaker 3: I would just literally go to work, sleep and just
[6:28] Speaker 3: see Finn everywhere. I was super depressed. I was not okay.
[6:34] Speaker 3: And it was like this dread that you know is coming.
[6:37] Speaker 3: You can't control it and you have to accept it,
[6:40] Speaker 3: but you don't want it. And anytime we talked about it,
[6:44] Speaker 3: it would just end up in like a big blowout fight. Usually, obviously,
[6:48] Speaker 3: when we were drinking, it started to get really hard
[6:51] Speaker 3: and we started to fight a lot about what I
[6:54] Speaker 3: would do to stay in Australia because the only other
[6:56] Speaker 3: visa that I could get at the time was a
[6:59] Speaker 3: student visa and I had already done college. I didn't
[7:03] Speaker 3: wanna go back to college. I didn't wanna be on
[7:05] Speaker 3: a student visa. There was the engagement visa, which we
[7:09] Speaker 3: did talk about, but you have to get married within
[7:11] Speaker 3: eight months of that visa. And that just seemed way
[7:15] Speaker 3: too much pressure. It was too soon, too much for
[7:19] Speaker 3: the both of us. It definitely felt pretty heavy at
[7:22] Speaker 3: that time to do that visa. He had previously lived
[7:26] Speaker 3: in London before, which is, you know, obviously a big
[7:29] Speaker 3: city like New York. And he had expressed to me
[7:32] Speaker 3: that he didn't want to move back to a place
[7:34] Speaker 3: like London because of the weather. He liked living near
[7:38] Speaker 3: the beach. He was, you know, a surfer. He loved
[7:40] Speaker 3: Sydney and he had only been there, I think, at
[7:42] Speaker 3: that stage, maybe five or six years. And so he
[7:46] Speaker 3: had already expressed that he didn't really want to move
[7:49] Speaker 3: to a place like New York.
[7:51] Speaker 2: So they were caught between a rock and a hard place.
[7:53] Speaker 2: After a whirlwind nine months together and still very much
[7:56] Speaker 2: in love, they made two big decisions. Michelle was moving
[8:00] Speaker 2: back to New York and their relationship wasn't ending. Yep,
[8:04] Speaker 2: they're going to give long, long distance a red hot shot.
[8:09] Speaker 3: The night before I had my flight to back home
[8:12] Speaker 3: to New York, He actually threw me a surprise dinner.
[8:17] Speaker 3: I had no idea with all of my closest friends
[8:20] Speaker 3: who I'd met in that past year of being in Sydney.
[8:24] Speaker 3: And it was the first time anybody has ever thrown
[8:26] Speaker 3: me anything surprise. And I did not expect everybody who
[8:30] Speaker 3: was there to be there. So I remember just like
[8:32] Speaker 3: bawling my eyes out, being so touched and so again, bittersweet.
[8:37] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, like I don't want to leave,
[8:39] Speaker 3: but then I'm also going back to New York city
[8:41] Speaker 3: to live with my best friend. But like, I want
[8:43] Speaker 3: to stay here. So it was like, it was literally
[8:46] Speaker 3: something out of a book. Like all of my favorite
[8:48] Speaker 3: people were in this one room and he ended up
[8:51] Speaker 3: giving me these two going away presents. One of them
[8:55] Speaker 3: was the actual bike bell from his roommate's bike. And
[8:59] Speaker 3: he basically put it on my finger like a, like
[9:02] Speaker 3: an engagement promise ring and said something like, you know,
[9:06] Speaker 3: we'll always be together or have each other or something.
[9:09] Speaker 3: So he, It was quite a spectacle of a going away.
[9:12] Speaker 3: Like everybody who was at that dinner thought like, oh yeah,
[9:16] Speaker 3: like they're going to do this forever. Like they're the ones,
[9:19] Speaker 3: like this is it, like this couple is going to
[9:22] Speaker 3: make it. So it was quite reassuring that we were
[9:26] Speaker 3: going to do this and this was for real and
[9:28] Speaker 3: this was forever. When I left, I was very much
[9:32] Speaker 3: under the impression of like, we are doing this. We
[9:36] Speaker 3: are going to be in a long distance, but we
[9:37] Speaker 3: are committed. We're going to be faithful. We're going to
[9:39] Speaker 3: be loyal. And we're just going to see this thing
[9:42] Speaker 3: out and ride the waves together. So for the first
[9:46] Speaker 3: four months, I was really trying to get my life
[9:48] Speaker 3: back on track and he was still living his life.
[9:51] Speaker 3: And the time difference between New York and Sydney was
[9:54] Speaker 3: quite hard. So we tried our best with Skype dates,
[9:57] Speaker 3: with emails. I don't even know if text messages were
[10:01] Speaker 3: going through at that point because of our phones and
[10:03] Speaker 3: the long distance, but we did our absolute best to,
[10:06] Speaker 3: you know, stay loyal, stay loving and stay in that relationship.
[10:10] Speaker 3: as much as we could. He planned to come and
[10:12] Speaker 3: visit me in October. So I knew it was just
[10:14] Speaker 3: a few weeks or a few months away that I
[10:16] Speaker 3: would get to see him again. So there was always
[10:18] Speaker 3: something to look forward to. It was like we had
[10:21] Speaker 3: a plan. He came over to America and we had
[10:24] Speaker 3: an amazing like two or three weeks together. He met
[10:27] Speaker 3: all of my family. We traveled the coast of California
[10:30] Speaker 3: together in a convertible Mustang, you know, the coast from
[10:34] Speaker 3: San Francisco down to L.A. We went on a big
[10:37] Speaker 3: whitewater rafting trip. And again, it was like it was
[10:40] Speaker 3: just fairy tale. It was like, oh, my God, this
[10:42] Speaker 3: is amazing.
[10:43] Speaker 1: He's the one.
[10:43] Speaker 3: It's going to happen. Like he's met my family. I
[10:46] Speaker 3: met his family. We have amazing holidays together. He's going
[10:50] Speaker 3: to move to New York, blah, blah, blah.
[10:51] Speaker 1: So, again, I left that trip thinking this is it.
[10:56] Speaker 1: Like this is really it.
[10:59] Speaker 3: And then when he went back home, he had a
[11:03] Speaker 3: message from his company saying they would potentially transfer him
[11:07] Speaker 3: from the Sydney office to the New York office. So
[11:10] Speaker 3: in my head, I was thinking, this is fantastic. We'll
[11:14] Speaker 3: just live in New York for a year, however long,
[11:16] Speaker 3: and then I'll move back to Australia.
[11:18] Speaker 1: No problem.
[11:19] Speaker 3: If I have to do the student visa, like I'll
[11:21] Speaker 3: just suck it up and do it then. Like, It
[11:24] Speaker 3: felt like we finally had a plan. It felt like
[11:26] Speaker 3: we finally had a way through. And in my head,
[11:32] Speaker 3: it was always, oh, he's going to come to New York,
[11:34] Speaker 3: no problem.
[11:35] Speaker 2: But just when you're feeling on top of the world,
[11:38] Speaker 2: isn't that when the universe always has a funny way
[11:40] Speaker 2: of bringing you crashing back down to Earth? Because just
[11:43] Speaker 2: a few weeks later....
[11:47] Speaker 3: I found out that my mom had stage four cancer.
[11:50] Speaker 3: Once I found out, I said, look, there's absolutely no
[11:53] Speaker 3: way that I'm going to be going back to Australia
[11:57] Speaker 3: while she's still alive. He was very supportive. He was
[12:00] Speaker 3: very kind, very caring. But I could tell that he
[12:04] Speaker 3: was pulling back. Every time I wanted to talk about
[12:07] Speaker 3: the subject or talk about him moving, he'd always want
[12:10] Speaker 3: to change the topic or let's not talk about that
[12:13] Speaker 3: right now. I felt like the emails or the messages
[12:17] Speaker 3: would get longer apart. I felt like We weren't as
[12:21] Speaker 3: present with each other or maybe curious in our conversations.
[12:26] Speaker 3: I could tell that the energy had shifted. I could
[12:29] Speaker 3: tell both of us. I was probably more anxious and
[12:33] Speaker 3: scared that I knew that he's really not going to
[12:36] Speaker 3: come to New York. And he also knew that I
[12:39] Speaker 3: wasn't going to Australia. So again, I think it was
[12:42] Speaker 3: just this lack of emotional intelligence, awareness and maturity to
[12:47] Speaker 3: just say, look, This is a situation we both know reality,
[12:51] Speaker 3: but instead we tried to continue on and act like
[12:54] Speaker 3: everything was okay and it was just going to be fine.
[12:57] Speaker 2: But, dear listener, I think you and I both know
[13:01] Speaker 2: that things were not going to be fine.
[13:03] Speaker 3: About three weeks after finding out that my mom had cancer,
[13:07] Speaker 3: I got a message from someone, a random person on Facebook,
[13:11] Speaker 3: saying that if you think your boyfriend has been faithful,
[13:14] Speaker 3: think again. It was from somebody I... did not know.
[13:19] Speaker 3: And I knew as soon as I got that message
[13:22] Speaker 3: that he cheated on me, but I didn't get a
[13:25] Speaker 3: hold of him for almost a day.
[13:27] Speaker 1: So I had to go to work that day.
[13:30] Speaker 3: Knowing that, well, not knowing for sure, but knowing in
[13:33] Speaker 3: my heart of hearts that like I'd just been cheated on,
[13:35] Speaker 3: that my relationship was pretty much over, but I couldn't
[13:38] Speaker 3: get a hold of him himself in Australia because of
[13:41] Speaker 3: the time difference. And so I remember, you know, just
[13:45] Speaker 3: being in absolute tears and buying two bottles of wine
[13:48] Speaker 3: on my way home from work and calling him on
[13:52] Speaker 3: Skype through my webcam at the time. And just before
[13:58] Speaker 3: he even said hello, I just said, did you cheat
[14:00] Speaker 3: on me?
[14:01] Speaker 1: And he said, yeah.
[14:03] Speaker 3: And he said, I didn't think it was a good
[14:05] Speaker 3: time because of obviously what I just found out three
[14:08] Speaker 3: weeks earlier.
[14:08] Speaker 1: And I said, well, I don't think it's ever a
[14:10] Speaker 1: good time to be cheated on.
[14:12] Speaker 3: But, you know, he ended up kissing a girl at
[14:16] Speaker 3: his Christmas work party. We didn't officially end things on
[14:21] Speaker 3: that phone call. We were just kind of like, we'll
[14:23] Speaker 3: see how things go. And I was in the mindset
[14:25] Speaker 3: of like, I could get over this. I can forgive him.
[14:28] Speaker 3: I can forget. And so we foolishly stayed together. And
[14:34] Speaker 3: I always like to travel whenever I'm in like a rut.
[14:39] Speaker 3: And so I went to Costa Rica with my friend
[14:41] Speaker 3: for Christmas and New Year's, and we decided not to
[14:43] Speaker 3: talk for like a week. I think we had like
[14:46] Speaker 3: a little bit of a break. And then when I
[14:49] Speaker 3: got back, I called him and that was the conversation
[14:52] Speaker 3: where he said, I love you, but I'm not in
[14:54] Speaker 3: love with you. And then I saw on Facebook that
[14:57] Speaker 3: him and this girl had gone to a festival for
[15:00] Speaker 3: Christmas and New Year's that they already lovey dovey.
[15:04] Speaker 1: Like it was heartbreaking.
[15:06] Speaker 3: I just remember being hysterical and he had given me
[15:12] Speaker 3: this this picture of us when I went away that
[15:16] Speaker 3: night before.
[15:16] Speaker 1: And I just remember crying so much.
[15:19] Speaker 3: I smashed the picture frame and I was ripping up
[15:21] Speaker 3: the picture. I was just, I was very, very, very hurt.
[15:25] Speaker 3: I threw away everything. And I also felt like there
[15:29] Speaker 3: was a part he was like, you're lying. Like you
[15:31] Speaker 3: are still in love with me, but it's the distance.
[15:34] Speaker 3: Like I just kept blaming it on the distance. Like
[15:37] Speaker 3: if we lived in the same country or the same state,
[15:39] Speaker 3: like we would be able to do this, like we
[15:41] Speaker 3: would be able to work it out. So I just
[15:44] Speaker 3: blamed the distance on everything, that it was only the distance,
[15:48] Speaker 3: that we still loved each other, both of us. And
[15:51] Speaker 3: I was convinced in my head and in my soul
[15:55] Speaker 3: that he was the one.
[15:56] Speaker 2: Despite everything they'd shared and the feeling of true love,
[16:00] Speaker 2: the relationship came to an end. Finn had moved on
[16:03] Speaker 2: with that girl from the Christmas party. And Michelle unfollowed
[16:06] Speaker 2: him on all the socials. No photos, no little glimpses
[16:09] Speaker 2: into each other's lives. They had no contact at all. Until.
[16:14] Speaker 3: Through the years, we would have very small email exchanges.
[16:19] Speaker 3: I don't know how or who would have emailed first,
[16:24] Speaker 3: but it was probably me because I was still convinced
[16:28] Speaker 3: that he was the one. I had no problem sending
[16:31] Speaker 3: those emails. Because I was not in serious relationships, but
[16:35] Speaker 3: I knew he was. And so I also knew I
[16:37] Speaker 3: was crossing a line that probably I shouldn't have as well.
[16:41] Speaker 3: But in my head, I'm like, oh, well, we can
[16:43] Speaker 3: be friends, right? Like we're friendly. So I probably would
[16:48] Speaker 3: have emailed him a happy birthday or a Merry Christmas
[16:51] Speaker 3: or just, hey, how are things going? we would have
[16:54] Speaker 3: an email exchange maybe once or twice a year. I
[16:57] Speaker 3: would absolutely get butterflies anytime I got an email from him.
[17:02] Speaker 3: In 2012, my mom passed away. I emailed him and
[17:07] Speaker 3: then he emailed me back saying, you know, I'm so
[17:09] Speaker 3: sorry for your loss. He was actually going to be
[17:12] Speaker 3: in America traveling with his now fiance. And I stupidly
[17:19] Speaker 3: was like, we should meet up. which is obviously not cool.
[17:25] Speaker 3: But of course I threw it out there. And I
[17:27] Speaker 3: was actually dating somebody at the time too. And thankfully
[17:31] Speaker 3: he was like, no, I don't think that's the right move. Like,
[17:34] Speaker 3: you know, and I was like, yeah, you're totally right.
[17:36] Speaker 3: Like I, I apologize for even asking, but I had,
[17:39] Speaker 3: I had.
[17:39] Speaker 1: To throw it out there.
[17:41] Speaker 3: I was absolutely convinced in my heart of hearts that
[17:43] Speaker 3: he was my soulmate. He was the one that got
[17:45] Speaker 3: away and that all we needed to do was be
[17:48] Speaker 3: in the same country and everything would be okay. There
[17:51] Speaker 3: was always something inside of me of like, no, I
[17:55] Speaker 3: still feel like we're going to get another chance. After
[17:58] Speaker 3: my mom passed away, I knew that I needed to
[18:00] Speaker 3: leave New York. And I randomly booked a one-way ticket
[18:05] Speaker 3: to Hawaii. It was a $ 100 ticket. And I was like,
[18:08] Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm
[18:09] Speaker 3: going to go to Hawaii. Maybe I'm going to live there.
[18:12] Speaker 3: And then a friend from Australia was actually visiting New York.
[18:16] Speaker 3: He was like, hey, Michelle, why don't you come back
[18:17] Speaker 3: to Australia? And I was like, no, I can't. I
[18:19] Speaker 3: can't get a visa. He's like, oh, well, I work
[18:21] Speaker 3: for this travel company. I could easily get you a visa.
[18:23] Speaker 1: No problem.
[18:24] Speaker 3: We get people visas all the time. I was like, well,
[18:26] Speaker 3: hells yeah, I'm in. So I booked my flight to
[18:29] Speaker 3: land on Christmas Day. And my visa actually only ended
[18:35] Speaker 3: up being good for 90 days.
[18:37] Speaker 1: Instead of a year.
[18:38] Speaker 3: But I didn't know that until the day before I
[18:41] Speaker 3: was arriving. So I had packed up my entire life.
[18:45] Speaker 3: everything into two suitcases thinking I'm moving to Australia for
[18:49] Speaker 3: a year. I'm going to get a visa and I'm
[18:50] Speaker 3: going to stay. And this is going to be like
[18:52] Speaker 3: my future. And I get to Australia. My visa is
[18:56] Speaker 3: only good for 90 days. I ended up being horrible
[18:59] Speaker 3: at the job. It was like selling travel packages, hated
[19:03] Speaker 3: my life. I was like almost 30 at this point.
[19:05] Speaker 3: I was sleeping on my friend's couches. I felt like
[19:08] Speaker 3: you need to get your shit together. And anyways, I,
[19:12] Speaker 3: of course, emailed Finn and I said, hey, I'm coming
[19:14] Speaker 3: to Australia for a few months. Like, would you want
[19:17] Speaker 3: to meet up? And he was like, yeah, sure, let's
[19:19] Speaker 3: do it. So we met up for a drink one
[19:21] Speaker 3: night and I asked him about the wedding. And he
[19:25] Speaker 3: kind of I could tell he didn't want to talk
[19:27] Speaker 3: about it, not just because it was me, but because
[19:29] Speaker 3: he didn't want to talk about it. And so I
[19:31] Speaker 3: already got this sense that like maybe there's trouble in paradise.
[19:34] Speaker 3: And I also was like, why would he be coming
[19:37] Speaker 3: to have, you know, a drink with me?
[19:40] Speaker 1: If, you know, things were actually that, I don't know.
[19:43] Speaker 1: Nothing happened. We hugged. Good night.
[19:44] Speaker 3: But of course, I'm persistent. And I emailed him after
[19:49] Speaker 3: and I was like, hey, that was great. Can we
[19:50] Speaker 3: do it again? And he was like, no, I don't
[19:54] Speaker 3: think that's a good idea. And I was like, again,
[19:57] Speaker 3: I respect you.
[19:58] Speaker 1: That's fine. And so it was my birthday.
[20:02] Speaker 3: And I had just been drinking some champagne with my
[20:05] Speaker 3: bestie because she flew over. And we were literally walking
[20:10] Speaker 3: in Bondi, the exact spot where I met him right
[20:13] Speaker 3: near the Beach Road Hotel. He was standing there. And
[20:18] Speaker 3: we bumped into him like by a grace of God.
[20:22] Speaker 3: And I was going out for drinks with friends that night.
[20:25] Speaker 3: And he knew all my friends because he had met
[20:27] Speaker 3: them years before and said, hey, we're going to be
[20:30] Speaker 3: hanging out with everybody at this bar. You should come
[20:32] Speaker 3: by for a birthday drink. And he was like, OK, yeah,
[20:34] Speaker 3: I'd love to. So he came by. And of course,
[20:38] Speaker 3: it was amazing. And he knew everybody and was great.
[20:41] Speaker 3: And I just remember us getting in the car, going
[20:44] Speaker 3: to another bar. And I was crying because I was like,
[20:46] Speaker 3: I want to just stay here. Like my life is here.
[20:49] Speaker 3: And I was so, so gutted that like I had
[20:53] Speaker 3: to leave, that it wasn't going to work out with him.
[20:56] Speaker 3: And we ended up meeting up for coffee one last
[21:00] Speaker 3: final time in Bondi, like the day or two before
[21:03] Speaker 3: I was leaving. And I said something like, will you
[21:06] Speaker 3: ever come back to America? And he said, I've always
[21:09] Speaker 3: wanted to go to this thing called Burning Man. And
[21:11] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, interesting. Like, it sounds cool. And
[21:14] Speaker 3: that was that. I left Australia in March. I got
[21:18] Speaker 3: an email from him on Christmas. And I remember I
[21:21] Speaker 3: was living in Los Angeles at the time. And he said,
[21:25] Speaker 3: you're forever in my heart. He never said that in
[21:28] Speaker 3: emails before. And I was like, that's a bit random.
[21:32] Speaker 3: But what do I do with this? Like, he's with
[21:34] Speaker 3: his fiance forever in my heart. Like, That's something new
[21:38] Speaker 3: that he's never said before. I feel like something might be,
[21:42] Speaker 3: you know, maybe again, trouble in paradise. But again, I
[21:45] Speaker 3: wrote back and I just, I knew it wasn't going
[21:47] Speaker 3: to go anywhere.
[21:48] Speaker 2: Despite the fact Michelle was convinced Finn was her soulmate,
[21:52] Speaker 2: she had to accept the fact that it was purely
[21:54] Speaker 2: in pen pal form now. He had moved on and
[21:57] Speaker 2: so did she, until the email she'd been waiting for arrived.
[22:01] Speaker 3: About a year after leaving Australia, And he said him
[22:05] Speaker 3: and his fiance broke up and he wanted to rekindle
[22:08] Speaker 3: or reconnect with me. And so I'm looking into that
[22:13] Speaker 3: word like rekindle, reconnect.
[22:15] Speaker 1: This is it. Like this is going to happen. I
[22:19] Speaker 1: was on cloud nine.
[22:21] Speaker 3: I just went around that day telling everybody that I
[22:24] Speaker 3: was moving back to Australia.
[22:26] Speaker 1: I was getting back.
[22:27] Speaker 3: Like I told everybody I manifested it. So I told
[22:31] Speaker 3: everybody what was happening.
[22:32] Speaker 2: And then.
[22:33] Speaker 3: A few months later, I saw on Facebook, because we
[22:36] Speaker 3: now friended each other again so we could see each
[22:39] Speaker 3: other's Facebooks. I saw that he was looking for a
[22:42] Speaker 3: Burning Man ticket. And I was like, you better not
[22:45] Speaker 3: come to my country and not see me. And that's
[22:48] Speaker 3: all I said. And all he said was, we have
[22:50] Speaker 3: an extra spot in the RV if you want to join.
[22:52] Speaker 1: I was like, hells yeah. And I bought a ticket
[22:55] Speaker 1: right then and there for $ 777.
[22:56] Speaker 3: Wow. I think I had about two or three weeks
[23:01] Speaker 3: to get outfits and figure out how I was getting there.
[23:04] Speaker 3: I didn't know the people he was going to Burning
[23:07] Speaker 3: Man with, this guy Levi and this guy Ray. And
[23:11] Speaker 3: I was introduced on a Facebook message, but I had
[23:14] Speaker 3: no idea who these people were, but I did not care.
[23:16] Speaker 1: I was going anyway.
[23:18] Speaker 2: Now, if you don't know about Burning Man, let me
[23:20] Speaker 2: paint you a picture. For one week, in the middle
[23:23] Speaker 2: of the Nevada desert, tens of thousands of people come
[23:26] Speaker 2: together to build an entire temporary city from scratch. This
[23:30] Speaker 2: isn't your typical festival. There are no headlines, no scheduled performances,
[23:34] Speaker 2: and no main stage. Instead, the people who attend create
[23:37] Speaker 2: the experience themselves. Huge interactive artworks, performances, elaborate sculptures, art cars, and, well,
[23:44] Speaker 2: pretty much anything else you could imagine. It's built around
[23:47] Speaker 2: radical self-expression, community and self-reliance, working on a culture of
[23:51] Speaker 2: gifting rather than buying and selling. And when it's all over,
[23:55] Speaker 2: the entire sand city disappears, with one very important rule,
[23:59] Speaker 2: leave no trace. So basically, tens of thousands of strangers
[24:02] Speaker 2: build their own city in the desert, party in it
[24:04] Speaker 2: for a week, and then make it look like they
[24:06] Speaker 2: were never there. Welcome to Burning Man. Now, back to
[24:10] Speaker 2: the story.
[24:11] Speaker 3: I get to the airport in LA and I realise
[24:13] Speaker 3: that we're actually on the same flight because he was
[24:15] Speaker 3: coming from Australia. we're on the same flight to San Francisco.
[24:19] Speaker 3: But I didn't realize that till the day of. And
[24:21] Speaker 3: so I went up to the counter and I asked
[24:22] Speaker 3: the lady, I was like, hey, me and my friend
[24:25] Speaker 3: are flying together. Do you mind if you can put
[24:26] Speaker 3: seats together? And she's like, oh, absolutely, honey. I was like,
[24:29] Speaker 3: I haven't seen him in years. And at this point,
[24:32] Speaker 3: I had seen him, I guess, in like a year
[24:33] Speaker 3: and a half or two. And she sat us next
[24:36] Speaker 3: to each other. And I just remember seeing him at
[24:38] Speaker 3: the airport coming through to the gate. And I'm like,
[24:41] Speaker 3: you know, he could have been an angel for all
[24:43] Speaker 3: I knew. Like, With his, you know, long hair and
[24:45] Speaker 3: his hazel eyes and his tan skin and his white t-shirt.
[24:49] Speaker 3: I was just like, oh my God, you did this.
[24:52] Speaker 3: And so we flew to San Francisco. We took the
[24:55] Speaker 3: burner bus into Burning Man. And it was both of
[24:58] Speaker 3: our first time. So we had no idea what to expect.
[25:01] Speaker 3: We were meeting his friends there, Ray and Levi. And
[25:08] Speaker 3: we first landed at Burning Man. We didn't have bikes
[25:11] Speaker 3: at that point. So we were just walking around. And
[25:13] Speaker 3: Burning Man is a really, really big place. But Levi
[25:16] Speaker 3: actually ended up bumping into us. And he was like, hey,
[25:18] Speaker 3: you guys need to come back to RV. You need
[25:20] Speaker 3: to have your bikes. You can't get anywhere without bikes.
[25:23] Speaker 3: So we walked back to the RV and Ray was
[25:27] Speaker 3: fixing my bike. He was putting all like the lights on.
[25:30] Speaker 3: He was making sure everything was OK. And we just
[25:34] Speaker 3: started hanging out, all of us. So it was me, Finn,
[25:37] Speaker 3: Levi and Ray. And then there were four other friends
[25:39] Speaker 3: of ours in another RV. And we... I thought the
[25:42] Speaker 3: whole time, I don't want to be that girl who
[25:44] Speaker 3: just talks about relationships, but I kind of wanted to
[25:47] Speaker 3: have a chat with Finn, like, hey, like, so what
[25:50] Speaker 3: does this mean? Like, are we going to try to
[25:52] Speaker 3: get back together? But again, I could tell that he
[25:55] Speaker 3: was sort of dodging the whole conversation. And I get
[25:59] Speaker 3: it's not really a time and place to have that
[26:01] Speaker 3: deep conversation. But I could just tell he didn't really
[26:05] Speaker 3: want to talk about it and it wasn't really something
[26:08] Speaker 3: he wanted to entertain because he just got out of
[26:10] Speaker 3: a serious relationship.
[26:12] Speaker 2: It might not have been the ideal time or place
[26:14] Speaker 2: for a conversation quite this deep, but there was one
[26:17] Speaker 2: pretty damning sign that Finn was maybe hoping to get
[26:20] Speaker 2: back together or were already back together. The only problem,
[26:25] Speaker 2: it wasn't landing with Michelle quite the way you might expect.
[26:28] Speaker 1: He kept calling me his girlfriend.
[26:29] Speaker 3: And I was like, can you please stop calling me
[26:31] Speaker 3: your girlfriend? Because I'm not your girlfriend. Like, yes, I'm
[26:35] Speaker 3: a girl. Yes, I'm your friend, but I'm not your girlfriend.
[26:37] Speaker 3: We haven't talked about that stuff. You don't want to
[26:39] Speaker 3: get into that stuff. You just came out of a
[26:41] Speaker 3: serious relationship. Please don't tell me I'm your girlfriend. But
[26:43] Speaker 3: he kept introducing me as his girlfriend. Anyways, so that
[26:47] Speaker 3: kept making me upset. I absolutely wanted to be his girlfriend,
[26:52] Speaker 3: but I didn't feel like he was at the same
[26:54] Speaker 3: place that I was. And so he was just using
[26:57] Speaker 3: it very like nonchalant. But to me, it meant something bigger.
[27:01] Speaker 3: And I guess because I wanted to be so badly,
[27:04] Speaker 3: it probably triggered me even more. If we were just,
[27:08] Speaker 3: you know, friendly and friends, maybe it wouldn't have upset
[27:10] Speaker 3: me as much. But I just remember that really getting
[27:13] Speaker 3: underneath my skin of like, stop calling me your girlfriend.
[27:17] Speaker 2: Thankfully, she had an ally in all of this. a
[27:19] Speaker 2: sounding board of confidants, and somewhat unexpectedly, a newfound great
[27:23] Speaker 2: friend in Finn's friend, Ray.
[27:25] Speaker 3: We had actually bonded around day two or day three
[27:29] Speaker 3: because Ray was actually seeing an American girl as well.
[27:33] Speaker 3: And he was going to meet up with her in
[27:34] Speaker 3: San Francisco after. And we had talked about like, how
[27:38] Speaker 3: do you do the long distance? Like, how does it work?
[27:41] Speaker 3: And he was like, well, we've been trying for the
[27:43] Speaker 3: past few years. It doesn't really work, but we've been
[27:45] Speaker 3: trying and we're going to Maybe try to give it
[27:47] Speaker 3: a go again.
[27:48] Speaker 1: I don't know. We're going to see.
[27:49] Speaker 3: So he was actually trying to rekindle things with his
[27:52] Speaker 3: American girlfriend. We started to become like the mom and
[27:56] Speaker 3: the dad of the group to make sure that like
[27:58] Speaker 3: everybody was doing what they needed to do or like
[28:00] Speaker 3: having a good time anyways. And I would also then
[28:04] Speaker 3: vent to Ray about Finn and be like, oh, this
[28:08] Speaker 3: is pissing me off or this is making me upset.
[28:11] Speaker 3: And I remember one night we were all riding back
[28:14] Speaker 3: to the RV and it was dark at night. and
[28:16] Speaker 3: my bike chain fell off. And nobody noticed, and not
[28:20] Speaker 3: even Finn, and I was really pissed. And when my
[28:24] Speaker 3: bike chain fell off, Ray actually came back and helped me.
[28:30] Speaker 3: And I remember saying to Ray, I was like, where
[28:32] Speaker 3: the hell is Finn? Why the hell isn't he here?
[28:34] Speaker 3: He should be the one coming back for his girlfriend.
[28:38] Speaker 3: And he was like, oh, no, that's fine. So anyways,
[28:41] Speaker 3: me and Ray just kind of confided in each other,
[28:44] Speaker 3: had really good chats. And I was just really kind
[28:47] Speaker 3: of just annoyed and frustrated and over the whole me
[28:52] Speaker 3: and Finn thing. He came all this way and I
[28:55] Speaker 3: thought this was our magical time to be together. He
[28:58] Speaker 3: has come all this way. He's now in my country.
[29:01] Speaker 3: We're going to have the best time. And that's just
[29:04] Speaker 3: not what happened. I just don't want to think about
[29:08] Speaker 3: it anymore.
[29:09] Speaker 1: And I remember... him really, or him and.
[29:13] Speaker 3: This girl flirting. And I got really upset. And I
[29:16] Speaker 3: was trying to hide myself crying in the bedroom of
[29:19] Speaker 3: the RV. And of course, Finn noticed. And he was like, hey,
[29:22] Speaker 3: what's wrong? You know, he tried to comfort me. And
[29:25] Speaker 3: I was just like, leave me alone. Like, I don't
[29:27] Speaker 3: want to talk about it. You know, I just was like,
[29:29] Speaker 3: if I could just stop crying, I'll be okay. But
[29:31] Speaker 3: then it escalated. And then we took it outside and
[29:34] Speaker 3: we started fighting. And I was like, can you please
[29:37] Speaker 3: stop calling me your girlfriend? He's like, can't we just be?
[29:40] Speaker 3: And I was like, what do you mean just be?
[29:42] Speaker 1: Like, I don't know.
[29:43] Speaker 3: I just remember being really frustrated and it just going
[29:48] Speaker 3: in circles. And then somebody came. up to us and
[29:50] Speaker 3: were like, hey, this is not what the burn's about. Like,
[29:53] Speaker 3: can you guys like get this under control? Because you
[29:56] Speaker 3: don't fight a burning man. Finn ended up going to
[29:59] Speaker 3: sleep and the camp people were like, hey, can you
[30:03] Speaker 3: help us clean up? And so I started helping them
[30:05] Speaker 3: clean up. And then Ray came out. And so me
[30:10] Speaker 3: and Ray started cleaning up the camp. Ray ended up
[30:13] Speaker 3: like cutting his finger really deep. And I remember bandaging
[30:16] Speaker 3: his finger up and being like, I love taking care
[30:20] Speaker 3: of him in this way. Like it felt, I don't know,
[30:23] Speaker 3: There was some attraction and I couldn't put my finger
[30:26] Speaker 3: on it, but I was still confused because I'm like, wait,
[30:28] Speaker 3: but I like Finn, not Ray. Do I like Ray
[30:31] Speaker 3: because he's Finn's friend or do I like Ray because
[30:34] Speaker 3: he's not available? Maybe I just like emotionally unavailable people
[30:37] Speaker 3: like or unavailable people in general. So I was really confused.
[30:41] Speaker 3: I also started to notice that I wanted to be
[30:44] Speaker 3: around Ray more. So like I started to feel way
[30:48] Speaker 3: more like safe and seen around Ray and I just
[30:51] Speaker 3: He just felt a lot easier to be around. We
[30:55] Speaker 3: went to Reno after Burning Man, and I was still
[30:58] Speaker 3: upset and annoyed by Finn, of course. And I wanted
[31:03] Speaker 3: to vent about him. So Ray came with me to
[31:07] Speaker 3: the ice vending machine. And I just remember being like,
[31:11] Speaker 3: I don't deserve to be treated with any disrespect. I
[31:14] Speaker 3: deserve to be treated with respect. I deserve to be
[31:17] Speaker 3: with someone like you. And I said that straight to
[31:19] Speaker 3: Ray in his eyes. And I said, someone who would
[31:22] Speaker 3: treat me with respect like you. And he just, his
[31:25] Speaker 3: eyes started welling up with tears. But we had just
[31:29] Speaker 3: gotten back to the door and Finn was on the
[31:31] Speaker 3: other side of the door because we were in the
[31:33] Speaker 3: hotel room. And we knew that we couldn't talk about it.
[31:36] Speaker 3: So I was like, okay, his eyes are tearing up.
[31:38] Speaker 3: This has got to mean something. Anyways, we go back
[31:41] Speaker 3: into the hotel. You know, we act like everything's fine.
[31:45] Speaker 3: And then Finn and I have a few days down
[31:48] Speaker 3: in LA where I was living. And... Ray and his
[31:52] Speaker 3: girlfriend had a few days together. And then Finn and
[31:56] Speaker 3: Ray flew back to Sydney.
[31:58] Speaker 2: So that was that. The manifestation hadn't exactly gone to plan.
[32:03] Speaker 2: And after all that time together, Michelle was left with
[32:05] Speaker 2: more questions than answers. Were they together? Were they not?
[32:08] Speaker 2: Was this the beginning of something again? Or was it
[32:11] Speaker 2: finally the end? And the biggest question of all, was
[32:14] Speaker 2: she developing feelings for Ray? Michelle had been so certain
[32:18] Speaker 2: for so long Finn was her soulmate. But after everything
[32:22] Speaker 2: that just happened for the first time, she started to
[32:24] Speaker 2: seriously question that.
[32:26] Speaker 3: When he went back to Sydney and I started to
[32:28] Speaker 3: notice that he wasn't really communicating much, I was like,
[32:32] Speaker 3: that's it. Like the only thing we do have with
[32:35] Speaker 3: long distance is communication. And if he can't give me communication,
[32:39] Speaker 3: there's absolutely no way in hell that this will ever
[32:43] Speaker 3: work or that I want to be in this. Like
[32:46] Speaker 3: I saw that he had posted something on Instagram. I'm like, well,
[32:49] Speaker 3: he has Internet. He has time, but he's not messaging.
[32:53] Speaker 3: So I really, truly believe like if he's not that
[32:56] Speaker 3: into you, he's not that into you.
[32:58] Speaker 1: Like if somebody wants to make time for somebody, they will.
[33:02] Speaker 3: I think it was just a matter of we didn't
[33:05] Speaker 3: have communication that was clear and that was honest, I guess.
[33:09] Speaker 3: And I just became quite annoyed and frustrated and very
[33:12] Speaker 3: much like this isn't going to happen. I actually don't
[33:15] Speaker 3: think that we're meant to be together. Like I think
[33:17] Speaker 3: even sexually, it wasn't there, that spark. And it just
[33:22] Speaker 3: didn't feel like this is the person I want to
[33:25] Speaker 3: be with. It didn't feel like that at all.
[33:28] Speaker 2: And while things with Finn were fizzling out, things with
[33:31] Speaker 2: Ray were unexpectedly doing the opposite.
[33:34] Speaker 3: We literally just started talking on WhatsApp. I could not
[33:37] Speaker 3: tell you what we talked about, but we talked about
[33:39] Speaker 3: for hours. He was making time. He was going back
[33:42] Speaker 3: to work. He was, you know, had a job. He
[33:44] Speaker 3: had a life to go back to. But we both
[33:47] Speaker 3: made time to talk to each other and we wanted
[33:50] Speaker 3: to talk to each other. And we had so much
[33:52] Speaker 3: to talk about. And it was only a week or
[33:55] Speaker 3: two after they got back from Sydney that I messaged
[33:59] Speaker 3: Ray and I said, look, I think I really like you.
[34:02] Speaker 3: I don't know what that means. I don't know like
[34:05] Speaker 3: what to do with it, but I just have to
[34:06] Speaker 3: tell you because it's, you know, it's burning me up inside.
[34:09] Speaker 3: And he was like, look, I don't know if you
[34:11] Speaker 3: could tell too, but I feel the same. Let's have
[34:13] Speaker 3: a chat. And so we just started chatting. And that
[34:16] Speaker 3: is when we had the conversation of like, okay, I'm
[34:18] Speaker 3: going to have a conversation now with Finn and say, look,
[34:21] Speaker 3: whatever did or has happened between you and I, like
[34:25] Speaker 3: obviously is no longer going to happen. I also was like,
[34:28] Speaker 3: we've never been friends, me and Finn. So I don't
[34:32] Speaker 3: think we should be friends because it's like, what's the point?
[34:35] Speaker 3: It was like this come to Jesus moment of like,
[34:39] Speaker 3: oh my God, here I am like saying, I don't
[34:42] Speaker 3: even want to be friends. Like we were never friends.
[34:44] Speaker 3: We're not supposed to be friends. And like, we need
[34:47] Speaker 3: to cut ties because it's not going to happen. And
[34:52] Speaker 3: it was probably also a little liberating and freeing. I
[34:55] Speaker 3: remember that conversation. I did get emotional with Finn. We
[34:59] Speaker 3: actually had a FaceTime and I told him, but I
[35:03] Speaker 3: did not tell him about Ray because me and Ray
[35:06] Speaker 3: didn't know what it was. We didn't know if it
[35:10] Speaker 3: was going to go anywhere. We didn't know if we
[35:12] Speaker 3: really liked each other. We never even, we were in
[35:15] Speaker 3: the same room together, but we were never intimate. We
[35:17] Speaker 3: never held hands. We never kissed. We never touched. So like,
[35:20] Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm going to like you if
[35:22] Speaker 3: you come here and we start dating.
[35:24] Speaker 1: I don't know.
[35:25] Speaker 3: So we had to figure out what that was. After
[35:28] Speaker 3: all those years of being completely convinced that he was
[35:33] Speaker 3: my person, I thought the conversation, when it finally ended,
[35:38] Speaker 3: would devastate me.
[35:39] Speaker 1: And yet it didn't.
[35:41] Speaker 3: It freed me because I knew that I had my
[35:44] Speaker 3: person on the other side.
[35:46] Speaker 2: Was Ray actually her person in real life? Or did
[35:49] Speaker 2: the magic only exist over the phone and in the
[35:52] Speaker 2: magical mystery of Burning Man?
[35:54] Speaker 3: He came to visit three months later in November for
[35:58] Speaker 3: one week. And the sex was absolutely, it was like
[36:01] Speaker 3: the best sex I've ever had in my life. And
[36:03] Speaker 3: I was like, is this just because it's, you know,
[36:06] Speaker 3: this fantasy thing? And it wasn't just the sex. It was,
[36:10] Speaker 3: we just loved hanging out with each other. We had
[36:12] Speaker 3: the best time. We would just talk and talk and laugh.
[36:15] Speaker 3: And enjoyed the same things. We kind of saw eye
[36:18] Speaker 3: to eye in so many things, but we were also
[36:21] Speaker 3: so different.
[36:22] Speaker 1: Like I'm a Pisces.
[36:23] Speaker 3: He's a Virgo. He's 10 years older than me. He
[36:25] Speaker 3: grew up in a very different country and culture in
[36:28] Speaker 3: a way. And so our lives are very different. When
[36:31] Speaker 3: he came, we actually went out to Joshua Tree and
[36:34] Speaker 3: had a night there, which was super fun and amazing.
[36:36] Speaker 1: We'd make dinners together.
[36:38] Speaker 3: I remember us binge watching Making of a Murderer. We'd
[36:41] Speaker 3: go down to the Santa Monica beach and And just
[36:45] Speaker 3: hang out.
[36:45] Speaker 1: But I remember him leaving.
[36:47] Speaker 3: But when he left, because we had so much communication
[36:51] Speaker 3: and when he left in November, for some reason, I
[36:55] Speaker 3: didn't feel anxious or worried because I knew we just
[37:00] Speaker 3: we were going to make something happen and it was
[37:02] Speaker 3: going to work out. Like I just felt again so anxious.
[37:05] Speaker 3: safe and seen that whatever was going to happen, it
[37:08] Speaker 3: was going to be okay.
[37:09] Speaker 2: Could it be? Was Ray really her person? Once they'd
[37:13] Speaker 2: figured out that that's certainly what it felt like, things
[37:16] Speaker 2: moved pretty quickly.
[37:19] Speaker 3: We started joking around about getting married because we didn't
[37:23] Speaker 3: know how we would be together as far as a visa.
[37:25] Speaker 3: And I said, I'm happy to move to Australia because
[37:28] Speaker 3: I know moving to America is really hard. And so
[37:32] Speaker 3: we talked about visas and And he ended up talking
[37:34] Speaker 3: to an immigration lawyer and he said, yeah, look, getting
[37:37] Speaker 3: married is, you know, if it's really serious and this
[37:39] Speaker 3: is it, like that's going to be one of your
[37:41] Speaker 3: best ways to immigrate here. And so my best friend
[37:46] Speaker 3: at the time, he was going to see Britney Spears
[37:49] Speaker 3: in concert in Vegas on Christmas.
[37:51] Speaker 1: And L.A.
[37:52] Speaker 3: Is only about four hours from Vegas. So Ray was
[37:56] Speaker 3: flying into L.A. for Christmas. So he landed on Christmas Day.
[38:02] Speaker 3: We went down to the beach. He proposed with his
[38:04] Speaker 3: grandmother's ring. We then drove to Vegas and I wanted
[38:09] Speaker 3: to get married on a Sunday because it's, you know,
[38:12] Speaker 3: God's day. So on December 27th, 2015, We were just
[38:17] Speaker 3: at the desk of our hotel. And I said, hey,
[38:20] Speaker 3: can you get married anywhere around here? And they were like, oh, yeah,
[38:22] Speaker 3: the Flamingo Garden Chapel next door does a really lovely wedding.
[38:26] Speaker 3: No Elvis or anything. And so we went over. It
[38:28] Speaker 3: was about 10 or 11 in the morning. And I said, hey,
[38:31] Speaker 3: do you have any slots for, you know, getting married?
[38:34] Speaker 3: And like, yeah, we've got a 430 appointment. It's our
[38:36] Speaker 3: last one and only one today if you want it.
[38:37] Speaker 3: And I was like, yep, let's do it. We had
[38:40] Speaker 3: to go down to get a marriage certificate. You have
[38:42] Speaker 3: to go downtown to City Hall. We went down to
[38:45] Speaker 3: City Hall. We went back to the hotel. We showered,
[38:48] Speaker 3: got in the Uber, went to the chapel and we
[38:51] Speaker 3: got married.
[38:53] Speaker 1: And my best friend walked me down the aisle.
[38:55] Speaker 2: I know what you're thinking. That seems quick. And yeah,
[39:00] Speaker 2: it was. Just four months after they first met and
[39:04] Speaker 2: having now only spent one more week together in person,
[39:07] Speaker 2: Michelle and Ray were married. Now, she doesn't live with
[39:10] Speaker 2: her head completely in the clouds. Of course, she had
[39:13] Speaker 2: a few little doubts along the way, but ultimately it
[39:16] Speaker 2: came down to that one thing we've all heard so
[39:18] Speaker 2: many times, when you know, you know.
[39:22] Speaker 3: Before we drove to Vegas, there were definitely points, right
[39:26] Speaker 3: before he landed for Christmas, there were points of being like, Michelle,
[39:30] Speaker 3: are you really doing this?
[39:31] Speaker 1: Like, is this crazy? Oh my God.
[39:34] Speaker 3: Like there'd be points of like, but I don't even
[39:36] Speaker 3: have a wedding dress, but like, and I never really
[39:38] Speaker 3: wanted a wedding, but then I started to question, like,
[39:40] Speaker 3: but you want a nice wedding?
[39:41] Speaker 1: Like, don't you want this? Don't you want that? Don't you?
[39:43] Speaker 3: And like then I started to question the whole thing
[39:45] Speaker 3: of like, maybe this is too fast. Maybe I'm not
[39:48] Speaker 3: doing the right thing. But at the same time, that
[39:51] Speaker 3: voice was quite low. The louder voice was like, no, Michelle.
[39:56] Speaker 3: This is the right thing. Like, you know yourself, you
[39:59] Speaker 3: know your body, you know how you feel. And it
[40:02] Speaker 3: never felt crazy or over the top. It felt very cool,
[40:07] Speaker 3: calm and collected and like this is the way it
[40:09] Speaker 3: was supposed to happen. And like, yeah, there were highs
[40:11] Speaker 3: of like, oh, my God, what did we just do?
[40:13] Speaker 3: I remember telling friends who were in Los Angeles after.
[40:16] Speaker 1: We got married.
[40:18] Speaker 3: They had no idea we were getting married. And we
[40:20] Speaker 3: were like, so we just got married. And they're like,
[40:23] Speaker 3: what the what? And I could just see on their face,
[40:26] Speaker 3: like the shock, the disbelief. And like, are you effing serious? Like,
[40:31] Speaker 3: do you know what you just did? Like, what is
[40:33] Speaker 3: going on? So I could see that a lot of
[40:36] Speaker 3: people were. Probably not as convinced as we were, but
[40:40] Speaker 3: the whole time we were like, nah, this is it.
[40:43] Speaker 3: But we just knew that there was not many other
[40:46] Speaker 3: options if we wanted to be together and we really
[40:48] Speaker 3: wanted to be together.
[40:50] Speaker 2: But here we were again with two people very much
[40:52] Speaker 2: in love, but on opposite sides of the world. So
[40:55] Speaker 2: now they had to figure out how they were going
[40:57] Speaker 2: to move to Australia and actually build a life together.
[41:00] Speaker 2: And of course, break the news to Finn.
[41:03] Speaker 3: Ray was going to be at a wedding with him,
[41:05] Speaker 3: a mutual friend's wedding. And so Ray actually had that
[41:08] Speaker 3: conversation with him. And Finn actually took it really well
[41:11] Speaker 3: at first. I think once he kind of told him that, like,
[41:16] Speaker 3: I think their friendship obviously was never going to be
[41:19] Speaker 3: where it was going to be. It was just we
[41:21] Speaker 3: had also mutual friends. So going to mutual friends gatherings,
[41:26] Speaker 3: it got a little awkward at some points because Finn
[41:30] Speaker 3: would have a new girlfriend. I think you know, that
[41:33] Speaker 3: girlfriend probably didn't like me very much. And there were
[41:37] Speaker 3: just maybe different sides of the story. I think maybe
[41:40] Speaker 3: Finn thinks I cheated on him with Ray at Burning Man,
[41:45] Speaker 3: which I know never happened. Ray knows it never happened.
[41:48] Speaker 3: But I think maybe he thinks that. I think Finn
[41:53] Speaker 3: is in a good place with it. I don't know.
[41:55] Speaker 3: We obviously don't speak because Ray and Finn didn't continue
[41:58] Speaker 3: to be friends. They're not like angry or disrespectful to
[42:02] Speaker 3: each other, but they're not friends. Six months later, I
[42:05] Speaker 3: moved to Australia. We lived in Sydney for, I think,
[42:08] Speaker 3: a year. I did my yoga teacher training there. We
[42:11] Speaker 3: moved to, well, first we moved to the Gold Coast
[42:13] Speaker 3: for a year. Then we were up in Brisbane from 2018.
[42:17] Speaker 3: My husband, Ray, actually had a stroke, which was very scary. Yeah,
[42:22] Speaker 3: put him in the hospital. He couldn't walk. He couldn't talk.
[42:25] Speaker 1: It was very scary. He was only 42 years old, 2018.
[42:29] Speaker 3: And so that was a big sort of just wake
[42:32] Speaker 3: up call, but happy and healthy. Nothing long-term affected him.
[42:36] Speaker 3: He takes a little baby aspirin every day because he
[42:38] Speaker 3: had a little hole in his heart that he got
[42:39] Speaker 3: cleared up. And yeah, we have our beautiful dog. She's
[42:44] Speaker 3: a miniature bull terrier and no kiddos. We went back
[42:48] Speaker 3: to Burning Man last year for a 10-year anniversary and
[42:51] Speaker 3: we loved it so much. We went back this year
[42:53] Speaker 3: and we actually have the coordinates of Burning Man tattooed
[42:58] Speaker 3: on our arms And we just, yeah, we love each other.
[43:02] Speaker 3: We have so much fun and just building, yeah, a
[43:05] Speaker 3: beautiful life together.
[43:07] Speaker 2: Not every X story ends there. Sometimes it's a love story.
[43:11] Speaker 2: And Michelle and Raze has been going strong for 11
[43:14] Speaker 2: years now. Just as that bike bell was and still
[43:17] Speaker 2: is a defining reminder of the strange ways fate can work,
[43:21] Speaker 2: the irony of how their story came to be certainly
[43:24] Speaker 2: isn't lost on Michelle.
[43:26] Speaker 3: The fact that me and Finn's relationship was so long
[43:29] Speaker 3: and it was psychologically like not warfare, but it was just,
[43:35] Speaker 3: it was, it was a lot and it felt very
[43:37] Speaker 3: heavy and it felt very long and it felt very
[43:40] Speaker 3: confusing at times and it felt very hard. I think
[43:43] Speaker 3: that's the thing. It actually felt like I was always
[43:45] Speaker 3: going up against a wall. It felt hard when things
[43:49] Speaker 3: with Ray, everything was just light and easy. I'm not
[43:53] Speaker 3: saying that it's been rainbows and puppies for 11 fucking years, but,
[43:56] Speaker 3: that we've never had to work on anything or come
[43:59] Speaker 3: up against walls. But I always say to people, like,
[44:03] Speaker 3: the hardest thing of being together should not be, do
[44:07] Speaker 3: I want to be with this person? The hard parts
[44:09] Speaker 3: are the finances, are the communication, are the in-laws, are
[44:13] Speaker 3: the debts, are the mortgage. Like, those are the things
[44:16] Speaker 3: that are hard. The idea and the feeling of wanting
[44:21] Speaker 3: to be with somebody, that should.
[44:23] Speaker 1: Never, ever be the hard part. If that's hard, that's
[44:27] Speaker 1: a reason.
[44:28] Speaker 3: I always say like if something, if you can't find
[44:30] Speaker 3: peace in something, it's not meant for you. The fact
[44:34] Speaker 3: that things did happen so quickly with Ray and I
[44:38] Speaker 3: doesn't mean it wasn't any less deep or the love
[44:43] Speaker 3: wasn't as deep. It just means that it was meant
[44:46] Speaker 3: to be. And I do think that things can be
[44:49] Speaker 3: light and easy. They don't have to be a struggle
[44:53] Speaker 3: all the time. And if it is a struggle, that's
[44:56] Speaker 3: probably the universe telling you something. I truly do believe
[45:02] Speaker 3: that the sole reason of meeting Finn was to meet Ray.
[45:06] Speaker 3: He was like the bridge. And that doesn't discredit our relationship.
[45:11] Speaker 3: It doesn't dumb it down in any way. It doesn't
[45:14] Speaker 3: mean that what we had wasn't real. Nothing like that.
[45:17] Speaker 3: But I do believe that everything happens for a reason.
[45:20] Speaker 3: And you meet some people so that you can meet
[45:23] Speaker 3: other people. I'm sure you have plenty of people in
[45:25] Speaker 3: your life that you met through friends or other people.
[45:28] Speaker 3: And you don't talk to those people anymore, but you
[45:30] Speaker 3: talk to them. And so, you know, this happens in
[45:33] Speaker 3: every sort of type of relationship. But yeah, it's not
[45:36] Speaker 3: to say that the other relationship wasn't worthy of the
[45:40] Speaker 3: depth and the love. It just means that the universe
[45:44] Speaker 3: has a funny way of working itself out.
[46:05] Speaker 2: Everyone has an ex is a minty media production and
[46:07] Speaker 2: proudly part of the mamma mia network This interview was
[46:10] Speaker 2: conducted and episode narrated by me, Georgia Love, and written
[46:14] Speaker 2: and produced by Linda Scott. If you have a story
[46:16] Speaker 2: to share, email us at everyonehasanex at mintymedia.com.au. You can
[46:21] Speaker 2: support the show by following in your favourite podcast app,
[46:25] Speaker 2: share it with a friend and leave a five-star rating
[46:27] Speaker 2: and review. We'll see you for the next episode.

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