# 'The Salmon of Knowledge' as told by Nanny Piggins

An episode of [Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1499469461), 21 Jan 2025, 20 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/852289/episodes/16463177-the-salmon-of-knowledge-as-told-by-nanny-piggins.mp3

Nanny Piggins tells the children about her distant Irish relative who derived their super power of wisdom from sucking their thumb. R.A. Spratt will be performing her live show 'Christmas Stories with R.A. Spratt' at theatres in Auckland, Perth, Sydney and Melbourne this December. Here's a link to get tickets... https://raspratt.com/live-shows/ If you enjoyed the podcast please like, review and/or subscribe! Support the show To buy one of my books use this link... https://amzn.to/3sE3Ki2 To buy me a coffee use this link... https://buymeacoffee.com/storiesraspratt To book a ticket to a live show use this link... https://raspratt.com/live-shows/

## Transcript

[0:54] SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with me, R.
[0:57] SPEAKER_01: A.
[0:58] SPEAKER_01: Spratt.
[0:59] SPEAKER_01: Well, I am in Singapore in a hotel room.
[1:02] SPEAKER_01: I've been having a bit of trouble trying to sort myself out to record this podcast.
[1:07] SPEAKER_01: Because I'm traveling with my mother.
[1:09] SPEAKER_01: The whole point of being here, it's not about me and what I want to do, it's about what my mom and what she wants to do because she's she's getting older and she wanted to come and visit my brother and his kids and my brother's wife.
[1:17] SPEAKER_01: And so she just wants to see the little boys, really.
[1:20] SPEAKER_01: But it's my job to get her here and make sure she's safe and get her on and off transport because she's older.
[1:26] SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's hard traveling when you're older.
[1:28] SPEAKER_01: Uh so my entire purpose of being here is taking care of her.
[1:32] SPEAKER_01: So um uh uh yeah, so it's taken me a long time to be able to get her over to my brother's place and have an hour where I could actually just record this on my own in the hotel room.
[1:42] SPEAKER_01: And finally I got an hour free today, and my brother's like, yeah, yeah, she can come over, and you know, that's good.
[1:47] SPEAKER_01: And so I got all my computer equipment out and I got it all set up.
[1:52] SPEAKER_01: Uh, the microphone, I brought the right microphone, I brought the laptop, I got all the PowerPoints, and I went to start and I realized I do not have uh headphones, earbuds, because you need to have wired ones so you can monitor sound.
[2:04] SPEAKER_01: So I've got no idea how what the sound quality is as I record this, which is just really weird.
[2:09] SPEAKER_01: Normally I have headphones on and I'm used to being able to hear my voice, so I can whisper and you know do all the voices.
[2:14] SPEAKER_01: So I can't do that.
[2:15] SPEAKER_01: That's fine.
[2:16] SPEAKER_01: But I got all ready to record and hit record.
[2:18] SPEAKER_01: I was just about to record, and I could hear these children playing in the corridor outside my hotel room.
[2:24] SPEAKER_01: And I think, well, it's a public, well, it's not a public, it's a hotel.
[2:27] SPEAKER_01: They're entitled to play in the corridor, they're no doubt waiting for the lift.
[2:30] SPEAKER_01: I'll just wait for them to get into the lift and go down to the lobby and I'll be fine.
[2:32] SPEAKER_01: So I waited.
[2:33] SPEAKER_01: I waited like 10 minutes and 20 minutes, and the children are still in the corridor, so I think, why are the children in the corridor?
[2:38] SPEAKER_01: Um, so I went and looked, and they're not in the corridor, they're in the room next door.
[2:42] SPEAKER_01: But the the soundproofing is so bad, it sounded like they were just outside my door.
[2:48] SPEAKER_01: So uh, and I got really upset because I thought, oh, I was looking forward to recording this podcast.
[2:52] SPEAKER_01: I've been writing this story for a couple of days, and I got so upset about it.
[2:56] SPEAKER_01: I think just because I'm homesick.
[2:58] SPEAKER_01: Um, and I just realized I can't record it with all these kids playing next door, and you can't ask them to stop playing, they're kids.
[3:04] SPEAKER_01: So um, I gave up and I rang my family and I just talked to my husband and I talked to Tammy and and um but they've gone out, so now I am gonna record it.
[3:13] SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, that's what's happening here in Singapore.
[3:15] SPEAKER_01: And actually, I highly recommend coming to Singapore.
[3:17] SPEAKER_01: I've had a fantastic time.
[3:18] SPEAKER_01: This is the second time I've been.
[3:19] SPEAKER_01: So if you get the chance, it's a very, very interesting place to come.
[3:23] SPEAKER_01: The food is spectacular.
[3:24] SPEAKER_01: But anyway, while I'm here in Singapore, ironically, I'm gonna tell you an Irish story.
[3:31] SPEAKER_01: And I know you're probably thinking, well, why don't you tell us a Singapore story?
[3:34] SPEAKER_01: Well, I have previously done stories on the podcast that I learnt when I was here in Singapore.
[3:38] SPEAKER_01: Like if you remember, I did the story of the Chinese horoscope with all the animals.
[3:43] SPEAKER_01: I actually learnt that story um on a tour I did here in Singapore, right in between two subway stops when I was um I was on a tour and they put us all in subway to go to Little India.
[3:53] SPEAKER_01: Um, no, actually, from Little India to Chinatown, and the lady told us the story of the Chinese horoscope.
[3:58] SPEAKER_01: So I have previously done stories that I've learnt in Singapore on the podcast, but today I'm in Singapore and I'm gonna do an Irish folks story because someone at one of my events asked me to.
[4:09] SPEAKER_01: And I actually actually I was doing a school visit at my nephew's school, and uh the librarian there was from Ireland, she had a beautiful Irish accent.
[4:17] SPEAKER_01: So I was able to check some of the pronunciations in the story.
[4:20] SPEAKER_01: So that sort of inspired me, and I I was running through what I was gonna do with her, and she's like, Oh yeah, that'd be great.
[4:24] SPEAKER_01: So I was encouraged.
[4:26] SPEAKER_01: So today I'm gonna do an Irish folk story, and it is The Salmon of Knowledge as told by Nanny Pickens.
[4:34] SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
[4:36] SPEAKER_01: When Nanny Pickens and Boris met the children, Derek, Samantha and Michael, at the bus stop after school, Michael had a defeated air about him.
[4:44] SPEAKER_01: Why are you so sad, Michael?
[4:46] SPEAKER_01: asked Nanny Pickens.
[4:48] SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's nothing, said Michael.
[4:50] SPEAKER_01: Tell her the truth, urged Derek.
[4:52] SPEAKER_01: Nanny Piggins will make you feel better, said Samantha.
[4:55] SPEAKER_01: If not through words of wisdom, then with slices of cake.
[4:58] SPEAKER_01: Well, I got teased at school today, admitted Michael.
[5:02] SPEAKER_01: Ah, because you're short, asked Nanny Pickens.
[5:04] SPEAKER_01: No, said Michael.
[5:05] SPEAKER_01: Because of the toffee stuck in the back of your hair, asked Nanny Piggins.
[5:09] SPEAKER_01: No, I didn't know I had a toffee stuck in the back of my hair, said Michael.
[5:12] SPEAKER_01: That's because you haven't got my advanced nose, said Nanny Piggins.
[5:15] SPEAKER_01: I could smell it a mile away.
[5:17] SPEAKER_01: Literally, which is how I knew it was time to come and meet the bus.
[5:20] SPEAKER_01: No, Glenda Babcock teased me because I accidentally jammed my thumb in the supply cupboard door.
[5:25] SPEAKER_01: Which really hurt, said Michael.
[5:27] SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it did, said Nanny Piggins.
[5:29] SPEAKER_01: I hope the supplies in the cupboard were chocolate, so you're able to revive yourself.
[5:33] SPEAKER_01: They weren't, said Michael.
[5:34] SPEAKER_01: So I stuck my thumb in my mouth to take the pain away.
[5:37] SPEAKER_01: Good thinking, said Nanny Piggins.
[5:39] SPEAKER_01: First aid is so important.
[5:41] SPEAKER_01: But Glenda Babcock saw me and said I look like a great big baby sucking my thumb.
[5:46] SPEAKER_01: Well, that's ridiculous, said Nanny Piggins.
[5:48] SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with sucking your thumb.
[5:50] SPEAKER_01: In fact, I had a distant relative whose superpower came from thumb sucking.
[5:55] SPEAKER_01: Huh?
[5:55] SPEAKER_01: said Derek.
[5:56] SPEAKER_01: My great great great times ninety-one great's cousin, Finn McCool, was a hero from the medieval Irish story days, explained Nanny Piggins.
[6:05] SPEAKER_01: And she gained her superpowers from sucking her thumb.
[6:08] SPEAKER_01: Was she a baby?
[6:09] SPEAKER_01: asked Samantha.
[6:10] SPEAKER_01: No, said Nanny Piggins.
[6:12] SPEAKER_01: It had nothing to do with babies.
[6:13] SPEAKER_01: She got her magical powers from a fish.
[6:16] SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have to tell us the whole story, said Michael.
[6:19] SPEAKER_01: All right, I will, said Nanny Piggins.
[6:21] SPEAKER_01: Now you have to understand that Finn McCool is a huge deal in Ireland, very famous.
[6:26] SPEAKER_01: Like Robin Hood in England or Paul Bunyan in America.
[6:30] SPEAKER_01: Only better because she was Irish, so she did so many cool things.
[6:34] SPEAKER_01: Is that why she's called McCool?
[6:35] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[6:36] SPEAKER_01: No, because her name McCool is not actually spelled McCool.
[6:40] SPEAKER_01: It's spelled M-A-C-C-U-M-H-A-I-L, but it's pronounced McCool.
[6:46] SPEAKER_01: Huh?
[6:46] SPEAKER_01: said Michael.
[6:47] SPEAKER_01: It's an Irish thing, said Nanny Piggins.
[6:50] SPEAKER_01: They're very creative people, especially with their spelling.
[6:53] SPEAKER_01: And back in the medieval Irish story days, they spoke Old Irish, not English.
[6:57] SPEAKER_01: So McCool had nothing to do with cool, the word in English.
[7:01] SPEAKER_01: I'm so confused, said Michael.
[7:03] SPEAKER_01: Well, if you stop asking questions and pause into think about every fascinating detail, we'll go on with the story and get to the good bit about the fish sooner, and then you'll have less to be confused about.
[7:12] SPEAKER_01: Sorry, Nanny Piggin, said Michael.
[7:14] SPEAKER_01: So anyway, Finn was a great hero of Irish mythology, who performed so many great feats of bravery, killing fire-breathing monsters, fighting bad people, rescuing innocent people, all the usual type of thing.
[7:25] SPEAKER_01: But before she came the greatest hero of the third century in Ireland, she was a little girl.
[7:30] SPEAKER_01: And they didn't have school back in the medieval Irish story days, so children got jobs.
[7:35] SPEAKER_01: What like chiropractors and advertising executives?
[7:38] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[7:39] SPEAKER_01: No, mercifully, chiropractors and advertising executives hadn't been invented yet, said Nanny Piggins.
[7:44] SPEAKER_01: No, children generally got jobs as servants.
[7:47] SPEAKER_01: And that's what Finn did.
[7:48] SPEAKER_01: She was a page, which was really just the word for an all-purpose servant.
[7:52] SPEAKER_01: She would carry things, fetch things, clean things, and cook things for her master.
[7:57] SPEAKER_01: Well, who was her master?
[7:58] SPEAKER_01: asked Samantha.
[7:59] SPEAKER_01: This was the unfortunate bit, said Nanny Piggins.
[8:02] SPEAKER_01: Was it a meanie?
[8:03] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[8:03] SPEAKER_01: Oh, was it a ringmaster?
[8:05] SPEAKER_01: asked Boris.
[8:06] SPEAKER_01: Just the thought of a ringmaster frightened Boris so much he wanted to hide by stuffing a lampshade on his head.
[8:11] SPEAKER_01: No, Finn worked for a poet, said Nanny Piggins.
[8:15] SPEAKER_01: The children gasped.
[8:16] SPEAKER_01: They knew their nanny did not hold poets in high regard, largely because her no good brother Bramwell was a poet, so she knew just how good for nothing poets could be.
[8:25] SPEAKER_01: To be fair, this poet wasn't too bad, said Nanny Piggins.
[8:28] SPEAKER_01: His name was Finnegus.
[8:29] SPEAKER_01: He was the most highly regarded poet in Ireland at the time.
[8:32] SPEAKER_01: And in those days, poets didn't actually write much poetry, because paper was expensive and the biro hadn't been invented yet.
[8:38] SPEAKER_01: Poets were really multi-skilled people.
[8:40] SPEAKER_01: Yes, they could bang out a rhyming couplet when they wanted to sound clever, but the main part of their job was just being clever, and even more important than being clever, being wise.
[8:49] SPEAKER_01: Isn't clever and wise the same thing?
[8:52] SPEAKER_01: asked Derek.
[8:52] SPEAKER_01: Oh, not at all, said Nanny Piggins.
[8:54] SPEAKER_01: The vast majority of clever people haven't got an ounce of wisdom in them.
[8:58] SPEAKER_01: Think about it, what do clever people usually do with their lives?
[9:00] SPEAKER_01: I dunno, become doctors or scientists or mathematicians, I suppose, said Derek.
[9:05] SPEAKER_01: Exactly, said Nanny Piggins.
[9:07] SPEAKER_01: All those brains, and so few of them, have the wisdom to put it to good use by becoming artists.
[9:13] SPEAKER_01: Artists?
[9:14] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[9:14] SPEAKER_01: Yes, and the greatest art of all, applied cake baking.
[9:18] SPEAKER_01: Of course, said Michael.
[9:20] SPEAKER_01: Why would anyone want to go to medical school when they could operate the machine that puts jam in Swiss rolls at the Slimbridge Cake Factory?
[9:27] SPEAKER_01: Nanny Pickens had once met Nathaniel, the man who operated this machine, when she'd broken into the Slimbridge Cake Factory and was trying to hide from Julian, the chief of security, who was another friend she spent a great deal of time playing hide and seek with.
[9:39] SPEAKER_01: In her opinion, Nathaniel, the jam operator, was the most impressive person she'd ever met, and she had met three presidents, five dictators, and a juggler who juggled live scorpions.
[9:48] SPEAKER_01: So anyway, Fergus, the poet, was the wisest person in all of Third Century Ireland, and people were forever coming to him for his words of wisdom.
[9:56] SPEAKER_01: It was a great deal of pressure, so Fergus put a lot of effort into keeping his wisdom at the highest possible level.
[10:01] SPEAKER_01: Now it just so happened that back in these ancient times there was a well called the Well of Wisdom.
[10:07] SPEAKER_01: So he went and drank from the well?
[10:09] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[10:10] SPEAKER_01: No, said Nanny Piggins.
[10:11] SPEAKER_01: He jumped in and went for a swim in the well, asked Derek.
[10:14] SPEAKER_01: No, of course not.
[10:15] SPEAKER_01: It was Ireland.
[10:15] SPEAKER_01: He would have died of hypothermia.
[10:17] SPEAKER_01: No, he was too wise for that.
[10:19] SPEAKER_01: Then what did he do?
[10:20] SPEAKER_01: asked Samantha.
[10:21] SPEAKER_01: If you stop asking questions, I'll tell you, said Nanny Piggins.
[10:24] SPEAKER_01: The children fell silent.
[10:26] SPEAKER_01: Around the top of the well there were nine hazelnut trees, said Nanny Piggins.
[10:30] SPEAKER_01: Oh yummy, said Boris.
[10:32] SPEAKER_01: Hazelnuts make a lovely base for a cheesecake.
[10:35] SPEAKER_01: Indeed, said Nanny Piggins.
[10:36] SPEAKER_01: But there was no cheesecake in this well, because in the well there lived a fish, a salmon.
[10:43] SPEAKER_01: And this salmon ate a hazelnut from each of the nine trees.
[10:46] SPEAKER_01: And when it did, all the knowledge from the entire world passed into that salmon.
[10:52] SPEAKER_01: What?
[10:52] SPEAKER_01: exclaimed Derek.
[10:53] SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I know I should say I beg your pardon, but really, Nanny Piggins, you're blowing my mind.
[10:58] SPEAKER_01: I feel like you're putting gunpowder in my ears and setting it alight.
[11:01] SPEAKER_01: Oh, I haven't done that for weeks, said Nanny Piggins, not since the doctor told me it was an ineffective way of removing earwax.
[11:08] SPEAKER_01: I'm just telling you the facts.
[11:09] SPEAKER_01: The well was the well of wisdom.
[11:11] SPEAKER_01: The hazelnuts contained the knowledge, the salmon ate the nuts, and then the salmon knew everything.
[11:17] SPEAKER_01: What do you mean by everything?
[11:18] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[11:19] SPEAKER_01: I mean absolutely everything, said Nanny Piggins.
[11:22] SPEAKER_01: So this salmon knew the names of all the birds and animals in the world, asked Michael.
[11:26] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[11:27] SPEAKER_01: And the way that weather works, asked Samantha.
[11:30] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[11:31] SPEAKER_01: And how to figure out the hypotenuse of a triangle, asked Derek.
[11:34] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[11:34] SPEAKER_01: All that and so much more, said Nanny Piggins.
[11:37] SPEAKER_01: So absolutely every piece of information you would find in an encyclopedia was in this one salmon in a well in Ireland, asked Samantha.
[11:45] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[11:46] SPEAKER_01: Although to be fair, there was less knowledge back then.
[11:48] SPEAKER_01: An awful lot of things hadn't been invented yet.
[11:51] SPEAKER_01: The encyclopedia hadn't been invented yet.
[11:53] SPEAKER_01: But they knew some stuff, and what they knew was in that fish.
[11:57] SPEAKER_01: Wow, said Samantha.
[11:59] SPEAKER_01: Yes, wow, just about sums it up, said Nanny Piggins.
[12:02] SPEAKER_01: So Finnegas, the poet, decided he would catch and eat the fish.
[12:06] SPEAKER_01: Then all that knowledge would pass into him.
[12:08] SPEAKER_01: Okay, said Derek.
[12:10] SPEAKER_01: The problem was he didn't know where the well of knowledge was, said Nanny Piggins.
[12:14] SPEAKER_01: And there was no Google Maps back then, so it was very hard to find.
[12:17] SPEAKER_01: It's just a shame he wasn't friends with the salmon of knowledge.
[12:20] SPEAKER_01: Then she could have told him where he lived, said Boris.
[12:23] SPEAKER_01: Indeed, but he wasn't, so she didn't, said Nanny Piggins.
[12:26] SPEAKER_01: Instead, Finnegas had to walk about the countryside looking for it himself.
[12:30] SPEAKER_01: That sounds like a lot of work, said Samantha.
[12:32] SPEAKER_01: It was, said Nanny Piggins, which is why Finnegas had the wisdom to hire a servant, a boy called Finn McCool.
[12:39] SPEAKER_01: I thought you said Finn McCool was a girl, said Michael.
[12:42] SPEAKER_01: She was, said Nanny Piggins, but she disguised herself as a boy.
[12:46] SPEAKER_01: Why?
[12:46] SPEAKER_01: asked Samantha.
[12:48] SPEAKER_01: She really liked wearing a fake mustache, a big bushy one.
[12:51] SPEAKER_01: It was very convincing.
[12:52] SPEAKER_01: No one realized she was a girl at all, let alone a piggins.
[12:56] SPEAKER_01: So she was a pig too.
[12:57] SPEAKER_01: Oh yes.
[12:58] SPEAKER_01: I said she was the greatest hero in all of third century Ireland.
[13:01] SPEAKER_01: It takes extraordinary talent, intelligence, and charisma to do that in a time before cosmetics, sequins, and diamontes were invented.
[13:08] SPEAKER_01: So naturally she was a piggins.
[13:10] SPEAKER_01: Of course, said Derek.
[13:12] SPEAKER_01: So Finnegas tromped around Ireland, and Finn McCool Piggins tromped along with him, muttering rude things about not knowing why a poet needed to carry so many pairs of shoes.
[13:21] SPEAKER_01: After seven whole years of searching and looking down every well in Ireland they could find, Finnegus and Finn followed the river Shannon all the way upstream.
[13:29] SPEAKER_01: Finnegus was beginning to lose hope, and young Finn was seriously considering a career change.
[13:34] SPEAKER_01: The trudging wasn't so bad, but sometimes Finnegus would spontaneously burst into poetry, and before she'd had a chance to wedge a blob of peat into her ears to block out the sound, when up ahead they spotted a well.
[13:45] SPEAKER_01: There it is, the well of knowledge, said Finnegas.
[13:48] SPEAKER_01: You said that about the last eighty-nine wells we spotted, said Finn.
[13:52] SPEAKER_01: Yes, but this must be the one.
[13:53] SPEAKER_01: I can see nine hazelnut trees all around the top.
[13:56] SPEAKER_01: This is definitely it.
[13:57] SPEAKER_01: Quick, fetch out my fishing gear.
[14:00] SPEAKER_01: What fishing gear?
[14:01] SPEAKER_01: asked Finn.
[14:02] SPEAKER_01: My fishing gear for catching the salmon of knowledge, said Finnegus.
[14:05] SPEAKER_01: You didn't tell me to pack fishing gear, said Finn.
[14:08] SPEAKER_01: But we've been looking for a fish for seven years, said Finnegas.
[14:11] SPEAKER_01: And it didn't occur to you that we'd need fishing gear?
[14:14] SPEAKER_01: No, because I never thought we'd find it, said Finn.
[14:17] SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad too, because I would have been the one carrying it for the last seven years for no good reason.
[14:22] SPEAKER_01: Well I need it now, said Finnegus.
[14:24] SPEAKER_01: So go down to the nearest town and buy me a fishing line.
[14:26] SPEAKER_01: So Finn did as she was told.
[14:28] SPEAKER_01: She returned with a fishing line, and Finnegus got to work.
[14:31] SPEAKER_01: Now, the salmon was the salmon of knowledge, so it was good at avoiding being caught.
[14:36] SPEAKER_01: But it was also living in a well, and wells aren't big, so there was nowhere to hide.
[14:40] SPEAKER_01: And eventually, Finnegus was able to hook the fish.
[14:43] SPEAKER_01: And when he did, he was over the moon with joy.
[14:46] SPEAKER_01: I've done it, cried Finnegas.
[14:48] SPEAKER_01: I have captured the salmon of knowledge.
[14:50] SPEAKER_01: He turned to young Finn.
[14:51] SPEAKER_01: Quick boy, cook it up for me.
[14:53] SPEAKER_01: Finn took out her earplugs.
[14:55] SPEAKER_01: Huh?
[14:55] SPEAKER_01: Cook the salmon for me, ordered Finnegas.
[14:58] SPEAKER_01: Why?
[14:58] SPEAKER_01: asked Finn.
[14:59] SPEAKER_01: So I can eat it, said Finnegas.
[15:02] SPEAKER_01: Really?
[15:02] SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't you rather have a nice slice of cake or a chocolate chip cookie?
[15:06] SPEAKER_01: I can think about ten thousand things I could cook for you that would taste nicer than a fish.
[15:11] SPEAKER_01: You ridiculous boy, chided Finnegas, making a mental note to fire Finn as soon as he had all the wisdom in the world in his brain.
[15:17] SPEAKER_01: Would you just cook the fish?
[15:19] SPEAKER_01: Fine, said Finn.
[15:20] SPEAKER_01: She'd already started a campfire anyway.
[15:22] SPEAKER_01: She'd been making herself chocolate chip pancakes all morning while Finnegus was sitting on the edge of the well.
[15:27] SPEAKER_01: So the pan was already hot.
[15:29] SPEAKER_01: As soon as she tossed the fish into the pan, it started to sizzle.
[15:32] SPEAKER_01: Now, salmon is a very fatty fish.
[15:36] SPEAKER_01: Oh Sarah, it's rude to say someone is fat, chided Boris.
[15:40] SPEAKER_01: Yes, that is true, said Nanny Piggins.
[15:42] SPEAKER_01: I would never want to embarrass any of my salmon friends.
[15:45] SPEAKER_01: But it is just a fact that they do have fat in their muscles, and it is for safety reasons.
[15:50] SPEAKER_01: It helps them store energy and stay warm, so salmon don't mind if we notice.
[15:54] SPEAKER_01: But when you cook salmon, the fat cooks out of the fish, and it puddles at the bottom of the pan.
[16:00] SPEAKER_01: So when Finn flipped the fish over to cook the other side, a drop of this fat splashed out and landed on her thumb.
[16:08] SPEAKER_01: Ow! cried Finn.
[16:09] SPEAKER_01: 200 degree fish fat oil is not pleasant.
[16:12] SPEAKER_01: And they were in the middle of an Irish forest, so there was no ice nearby.
[16:16] SPEAKER_01: And if you have a burn and you have no ice, the next best thing to do is to put water on it.
[16:20] SPEAKER_01: But Finn wasn't going to jump into the well, so Finn did the next best thing.
[16:25] SPEAKER_01: She stuck her thumb in her mouth.
[16:27] SPEAKER_01: That eased the pain right away, and the burn wasn't too bad.
[16:31] SPEAKER_01: But what Finn didn't realise was that when she cooked the salmon of knowledge, all the knowledge from the salmon had condensed down into that one drop of fat.
[16:41] SPEAKER_01: And when she put it into her mouth, the knowledge passed into her, Finn McCool.
[16:47] SPEAKER_01: Cool, said Michael.
[16:49] SPEAKER_01: Finn didn't realise straight away, but Finnegas did.
[16:52] SPEAKER_01: When Finn looked up, there was a brightness in her eyes and a wisdom in her demeanour.
[16:57] SPEAKER_01: Finnegus suspected right away what had happened.
[17:00] SPEAKER_01: But to be sure, he gave her a quick quiz.
[17:03] SPEAKER_01: Tell me, lad, what's seven times thirty-two?
[17:05] SPEAKER_01: asked Finnegas.
[17:06] SPEAKER_01: Finn found it very strange to be suddenly quizzed, especially when she had a thumb in her mouth.
[17:10] SPEAKER_01: She didn't want to take it out because her thumb still hurt, so she spoke with a thumb in her mouth.
[17:14] SPEAKER_01: Two hundred and twenty-four?
[17:15] SPEAKER_01: said Finn.
[17:16] SPEAKER_01: And what's the longest river in the world?
[17:18] SPEAKER_01: asked Finnegus.
[17:19] SPEAKER_01: The Nile, said Finn.
[17:21] SPEAKER_01: And what's the capital of Turkey?
[17:23] SPEAKER_01: asked Finnegus.
[17:24] SPEAKER_01: Turkey isn't a country yet, and the concept of capital cities doesn't exist, said Finn.
[17:29] SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, cried Finnegas.
[17:31] SPEAKER_01: You did it! You have all the knowledge in the world in your thumb! Finn took a thumb out and looked at it.
[17:38] SPEAKER_01: Huh?
[17:38] SPEAKER_01: It just looks like a regular thumb to me, said Finn.
[17:41] SPEAKER_01: Put it back in your mouth, said Finnegas.
[17:43] SPEAKER_01: Finn did.
[17:44] SPEAKER_01: Now tell me, what's pi to the tenth decimal?
[17:47] SPEAKER_00: Um, 3.1415926535.
[17:54] SPEAKER_00: Oh wow, said Finn.
[17:56] SPEAKER_00: I do know everything.
[17:57] SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be seriously handy.
[17:59] SPEAKER_01: And it was.
[18:00] SPEAKER_01: From that day on, if ever Finn had a problem that was hard to figure out, she just put her thumb in her mouth and sucked on it, and the solution would come to her right away.
[18:10] SPEAKER_01: And that wisdom allowed her to become the greatest hero in all of Ireland.
[18:15] SPEAKER_01: The End.
[18:17] SPEAKER_01: Wow.
[18:17] SPEAKER_01: Do you wish you had a thumb of knowledge?
[18:19] SPEAKER_01: asked Michael.
[18:20] SPEAKER_01: Well, it would be nice to know everything.
[18:22] SPEAKER_01: Obviously I already know a lot, but there's still thousands of cake recipes I'd love to know.
[18:27] SPEAKER_01: But if the price of gaining all that world knowledge is that I would have to eat a fish, then that is a sacrifice I'm not prepared to make.
[18:35] SPEAKER_01: The end.
[18:36] SPEAKER_01: Time for bed.
[18:37] SPEAKER_01: But lots of people like fish, said Michael.
[18:40] SPEAKER_01: Yes, said Nanny Piggins, but I like cake more.
[18:43] SPEAKER_01: Speaking of which, let's make a marble cake.
[18:45] SPEAKER_01: Last one to the kitchen has an ignorant thumb.
[18:48] SPEAKER_01: The end.
[18:50] SPEAKER_01: Alright, well, there you go.
[18:51] SPEAKER_01: That's this week's story.
[18:52] SPEAKER_01: Well, it's been a little bit interesting uh recording here in a hotel room in Singapore.
[18:57] SPEAKER_01: I hope it's okay.
[18:58] SPEAKER_01: I hope you enjoyed it.
[18:59] SPEAKER_01: Uh I've got some exciting oh these Irish folk stories now.
[19:02] SPEAKER_01: I've got into them, they're really fun.
[19:04] SPEAKER_01: And my sister-in-law is Korean.
[19:06] SPEAKER_01: I like that's the my brother's wife who who we're visiting at their family, and she's given me a collection of Korean folk stories, so I'm hoping to do one of them's a real cracker, so I'm hoping to do that in coming weeks as well.
[19:17] SPEAKER_01: So that's what's coming up.
[19:18] SPEAKER_01: Um, but next week I'll be back home in a barrel, so I'll be recording there.
[19:21] SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's it for now.
[19:23] SPEAKER_01: Until next time, goodbye.

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