# An Unlikely Affair: Orange You Glad She Showed Up?

An episode of [Untraditionally Lala](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1494722390), 25 May 2026, 32 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/1a27b7ad-70da-4cb7-9ffd-b3470138ba74/bc00864f-22e2-407a-8308-b45500493185/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=196ae30c-98ca-4add-a1ed-b3470138ba9f

Lala and Ambyr are joined by RHOC’s Tamra Judge… the ONE housewife that Ambyr is a fan of because of her dad! Tamra doesn't hold back as she teases what's coming on RHOC, gets real about co-parenting, and reminds us all that sex is always the dessert. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hello, my
[0:09] Speaker 1: love Slala Kent, Hi Amber, Hi baby.
[0:14] Speaker 2: Are we alive and well? We are kind of alive.
[0:17] Speaker 2: We're well though.
[0:19] Speaker 1: Yeah we did twat seed and you had a moment
[0:21] Speaker 1: of crying. I've learned to not ask you.
[0:23] Speaker 2: Are you crying anymore? Are you gonna cry?
[0:27] Speaker 3: Wait?
[0:27] Speaker 2: Are you an easy crier? You know what? I ecause,
[0:31] Speaker 2: me and Laala are not. Why would cry away?
[0:34] Speaker 4: I'm a cancer, So I'm always crying about something. But
[0:36] Speaker 4: I feel like in the last year I've done so
[0:39] Speaker 4: literally so much. I call it like, uh like melting
[0:43] Speaker 4: my like just thawing of my So I cry less.
[0:47] Speaker 4: But every once in a while I'll get a little surprised, like, oh, yeah,
[0:50] Speaker 4: that still still bothers me.
[0:52] Speaker 2: Yeah, it still bothers me. Yeah yeah yeah.
[0:54] Speaker 1: But you guys, well, you guys recognize that voice. We
[0:57] Speaker 1: are going to Bottle Rock Music Festival and we're here
[1:01] Speaker 1: with Tamra Judge as our guest. Hello, gorgeous, Hello, birthday twin,
[1:07] Speaker 1: birthday twin.
[1:08] Speaker 4: But you guys have the same exact many many many
[1:11] Speaker 4: years apart with that face.
[1:13] Speaker 2: But is our birthday? What about your moon? Do you
[1:17] Speaker 2: know what your moon is your so your Amber? Okay,
[1:20] Speaker 2: you know what it means to be a virgo? Well
[1:25] Speaker 2: you are looking at it? Yeah, okay.
[1:29] Speaker 1: So I'm very excited to talk to you. We have
[1:31] Speaker 1: so much in common. We just did your podcast, myself
[1:33] Speaker 1: and Amber, and I just have to ask you. You've
[1:38] Speaker 1: been in this game where your reality is now for
[1:43] Speaker 1: everyone to judge and pick apart, and they see such
[1:47] Speaker 1: a grain of sand on the beach of your life.
[1:50] Speaker 2: Yea, how do you keep it together? I don't ask
[1:56] Speaker 2: my husband. I don't. I will say that.
[2:01] Speaker 3: I have been used to just being that outspoken person
[2:05] Speaker 3: on the show that just says it like it is
[2:08] Speaker 3: and doesn't hold back.
[2:09] Speaker 2: And I get a lot of shit for it.
[2:12] Speaker 1: You know.
[2:12] Speaker 3: I don't make up stories, I don't lie, I don't cheat,
[2:15] Speaker 3: I don't do anything.
[2:15] Speaker 2: But I will call somebody.
[2:17] Speaker 4: I got a lot of shit from the fans. Yeah,
[2:19] Speaker 4: but that's why they're watching it.
[2:20] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[2:21] Speaker 1: So, but that's what's so interesting is there was a
[2:23] Speaker 1: period of time that Tamra was not on the show,
[2:26] Speaker 1: and this is what always happens. Everyone's like, get rid
[2:29] Speaker 1: of them, and then they pick the most boring cast members.
[2:31] Speaker 2: They're like, we just want to watch this.
[2:32] Speaker 1: We're like, bitch, if you were just watching that, you
[2:34] Speaker 1: wouldn't be watching. And then everyone was begging for you
[2:38] Speaker 1: to come back. Yeah, you come back, and the ratings
[2:42] Speaker 1: went up. Of course they did, because you're fantastic to
[2:46] Speaker 1: watch and I know you on a personal level. Like
[2:48] Speaker 1: we talk about things that have not aired, we talk
[2:51] Speaker 1: about things that are going on in and I always say,
[2:54] Speaker 1: there's a difference between reality and reality, right, we talk
[2:56] Speaker 1: about the other part of reality.
[2:58] Speaker 3: Sure, but I just feel like, no matter what job
[3:01] Speaker 3: I've ever had in my entire life, I don't care
[3:03] Speaker 3: if I was fifteen years old, I'm working at Burking.
[3:05] Speaker 2: Yeah, I was giving it everything I had. I worked
[3:08] Speaker 2: my way up. I was a hard worker. I was
[3:10] Speaker 2: a team player.
[3:10] Speaker 3: I did everything I could to make a drive through
[3:14] Speaker 3: cashier at that time.
[3:15] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[3:15] Speaker 3: Right, So when it comes to reality TV, I did
[3:19] Speaker 3: everything Like they would come to me and say ask that,
[3:21] Speaker 3: do that, and I would do everything I was asked
[3:24] Speaker 3: to do.
[3:25] Speaker 2: And I was very just transparent.
[3:26] Speaker 3: I don't give a shit if you think I'm an
[3:30] Speaker 3: asshole for saying what I said or doing what I did.
[3:34] Speaker 3: In my mind, I'm like I'm just doing my job, right, right, yeah,
[3:38] Speaker 3: and so and then I get the backlash. I get
[3:41] Speaker 3: that you're mean, you're horrible, and in my mind, I'm like,
[3:44] Speaker 3: but I'm just like doing my job. Like I'm just
[3:46] Speaker 3: doing my job. So it's like it's a double edged sword,
[3:50] Speaker 3: for sure.
[3:51] Speaker 1: No, it definitely is, which is why I stay completely
[3:54] Speaker 1: out of the comments section.
[3:55] Speaker 2: Oh I do too. Now I don't even read them.
[3:58] Speaker 1: Because if you don't see it, it doesn't exist. Well, it doesn't.
[4:00] Speaker 2: If I don't see it's not gonna fact my life.
[4:02] Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. The social media part of it and technology
[4:04] Speaker 4: part of it has allowed people to cross and say
[4:07] Speaker 4: things that are just so beyond inappropriate.
[4:09] Speaker 2: Now, did you.
[4:10] Speaker 3: See a difference, because obviously you're in scripted TV, do
[4:13] Speaker 3: you get that same treatment.
[4:16] Speaker 2: That I didn't?
[4:17] Speaker 4: You know this, this brought me back to when I
[4:19] Speaker 4: was on a soap opera back in the day, all
[4:22] Speaker 4: my children, but fans. I used to go to all
[4:24] Speaker 4: these little conventions across you know, the United States, and
[4:27] Speaker 4: the fans literally cannot see the difference between you as like, Okay,
[4:31] Speaker 4: that's Amber Childers and that's Colby Chandler. You are Colby
[4:35] Speaker 4: Chandler and they will come up to you, and they will.
[4:37] Speaker 2: I remember Colby Chandler, you do, I do?
[4:41] Speaker 3: My god?
[4:42] Speaker 1: Can I tell you the most wild story about this?
[4:45] Speaker 1: It was during that soap opera the screen test. You
[4:49] Speaker 1: were so young, right, How old were you?
[4:51] Speaker 4: I was well, I screen tested twice for that one show,
[4:55] Speaker 4: so one time I was fourteen, then fourteen fifteen s.
[5:00] Speaker 1: It was between Amber and my best friend. Do you
[5:05] Speaker 1: remember that Adam Sander movie Grown Up to the hot
[5:08] Speaker 1: girl over the car?
[5:10] Speaker 2: That's her?
[5:11] Speaker 1: So how wild that our paths were already crossing.
[5:14] Speaker 2: I know in teens me and you. That's crazy.
[5:19] Speaker 4: Have you guys seen the movie Crash. It's like a
[5:23] Speaker 4: really famous pace. It's about all these different lies and
[5:26] Speaker 4: and somehow on one day they all get intertwined.
[5:29] Speaker 2: And it's like it reminded me of that.
[5:31] Speaker 4: Like you just never know how you could be passing.
[5:34] Speaker 2: I don't know. It's true.
[5:36] Speaker 3: I truly believe and I always believe this, like everything
[5:39] Speaker 3: happens for a reason, and your your past cross for
[5:43] Speaker 3: a reason. And like you guys obviously had this weird
[5:47] Speaker 3: thing in your teens whatever and now dating the guy
[5:51] Speaker 3: and then married you were never.
[5:54] Speaker 2: Married, right, you guys? Know we never never married, but now,
[5:57] Speaker 2: like now you have a podcast together.
[5:59] Speaker 1: I know it's such a beautiful, beautiful friendships.
[6:03] Speaker 2: That is God's work, baby.
[6:05] Speaker 1: So this is your what season? Are we coming up on?
[6:07] Speaker 2: A funny?
[6:08] Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that's the longest standing because it's the
[6:13] Speaker 1: original to watch reality TV?
[6:15] Speaker 2: So OC is the original of all of.
[6:18] Speaker 4: Second give me, give me a second. Okay, okay, the
[6:22] Speaker 4: very first time reality like started popping off, my dad
[6:27] Speaker 4: was obsessed with OC funny.
[6:29] Speaker 2: And I so you and Vicky and the other.
[6:32] Speaker 3: Girl, Gena King, the blonde one Peterson, Holy, Laurie Nogre
[6:41] Speaker 3: my best friend.
[6:42] Speaker 4: Oh right, so I just remember you guys on the show.
[6:47] Speaker 4: It's but again what we were just talking about, Like,
[6:50] Speaker 4: I didn't watch reality I would watch that though with.
[6:54] Speaker 2: My dad at night.
[6:55] Speaker 4: I mean my dad was like religious, he like he
[6:57] Speaker 4: was obviously likes so fucking hot and but now look
[7:03] Speaker 4: at I'm sitting here across from you. That's life though,
[7:06] Speaker 4: Like it's so weird.
[7:07] Speaker 1: It's all so I did. Okay, So this season, what
[7:13] Speaker 1: would you say? Because it airs July ninth, Thank.
[7:18] Speaker 2: God, very quick turnaround.
[7:20] Speaker 3: We just stopped filming a couple of weeks ago and
[7:23] Speaker 3: we are going to like we have less than two
[7:26] Speaker 3: months and we're airing.
[7:27] Speaker 2: So it was a very quick turnaround.
[7:29] Speaker 1: It is a quick turnaround because I just ran into
[7:32] Speaker 1: Terry and Heather at Craigs and she was.
[7:34] Speaker 2: Like, sure, we're just they're always there.
[7:38] Speaker 1: Everyone is always at Craigs. Not me either. I never go,
[7:42] Speaker 1: but somehow every time I go, there's a Bravo face.
[7:46] Speaker 2: Yeah, like it's like the place to go to be seen, right.
[7:49] Speaker 1: I guess I. I do the Early Bird.
[7:51] Speaker 2: Specials on like, well when do they open? That's I do?
[7:55] Speaker 2: Now where's that far?
[8:00] Speaker 3: So I Eddie and I eat like at three o'clock,
[8:04] Speaker 3: and I mean it's so pathetic, but I.
[8:08] Speaker 2: And then you have a snack before bed. No, we
[8:10] Speaker 2: go to bed like at eight o'clock. Yes, my kind
[8:14] Speaker 2: of household.
[8:14] Speaker 3: Yes, So we go to bed at eight o'clock and
[8:16] Speaker 3: we'll watch a TV show and I'll pop a gummy
[8:20] Speaker 3: and he pops a gummy and we will be asleep.
[8:24] Speaker 4: I have a really into the personal question and you
[8:26] Speaker 4: don't have to answer it, or you can't.
[8:28] Speaker 2: I'm so curious to know. I will do you so.
[8:31] Speaker 4: You So my head went to because I'm a sick
[8:34] Speaker 4: fuck sometimes like sex being the desserve.
[8:37] Speaker 2: I was just wait, so seummies have ruined our sex lives.
[8:42] Speaker 2: Oh see, you have to have sex before the gummy.
[8:45] Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't wait. So we in fact, we talked
[8:48] Speaker 3: about it this season on the show. But so what
[8:51] Speaker 3: happens is is we were very into just working out
[8:55] Speaker 3: in life and all these things. So we get up
[8:57] Speaker 3: very early, we go to the gym, all the things,
[9:00] Speaker 3: you know, but we go to bed pretty early. And
[9:04] Speaker 3: I've noticed since well, obviously I'm postmenopausal, so my hormones
[9:09] Speaker 3: have dropped drastically, like I have no testosterone.
[9:11] Speaker 2: I'm working on it.
[9:12] Speaker 4: Are you taking it's a podcast, I'm working on it.
[9:15] Speaker 3: Yes, I met, like it's actually part of my season, right.
[9:20] Speaker 3: So I do believe that gummies have not helped our
[9:27] Speaker 3: sexual relationship because I feel like we go to bed
[9:30] Speaker 3: and we'll pop a gummy and then all of a sudden,
[9:31] Speaker 3: it's like you have a window of opportunity, like fuck
[9:34] Speaker 3: it now and.
[9:35] Speaker 2: Have thirty minutes before it kicks it do it now,
[9:40] Speaker 2: or it's like by the way I get you in
[9:44] Speaker 2: the morning.
[9:44] Speaker 4: That could be fun sex, though sloppy, like half little
[9:47] Speaker 4: fuck up, like limp, dick is that?
[9:52] Speaker 2: Is it hard? Yet? Like there's a whole lot. I mean,
[9:55] Speaker 2: why is this slug on my vagina? Push in a slug? No, No,
[10:05] Speaker 2: just can't do it. No, no matter what you.
[10:07] Speaker 4: Do, it always finds its way to pop out.
[10:09] Speaker 2: Yes, you're like exactly. It's like and then you're like,
[10:12] Speaker 2: can't you get hard? Do I not turn you on? Oh? Yeah,
[10:16] Speaker 2: it's automatically me.
[10:18] Speaker 1: I'm trying to conquer that of like, if you can't
[10:21] Speaker 1: get hard, this doesn't ever happen.
[10:24] Speaker 2: But if it dead, she's living through me.
[10:28] Speaker 1: Well, men in their like mid twenties to what I've
[10:32] Speaker 1: been with.
[10:34] Speaker 3: Their mid they're not men in their mid twenties.
[10:37] Speaker 2: I'm just gonna throw it out there. They can't get
[10:40] Speaker 2: a boner, then they're never gonna get it. Hasn't happened.
[10:45] Speaker 1: I've been with someone who needs a blue pill.
[10:48] Speaker 2: Anyway, you don't.
[10:50] Speaker 3: Have your problem, not mine, right exactly, you're exactly, But
[10:54] Speaker 3: I will say, like, I will agree with that. When
[10:56] Speaker 3: you take a gummy at seven o'clock at night, there
[11:00] Speaker 3: really isn't much sex happening.
[11:02] Speaker 1: So then let me ask you, because you've been married
[11:04] Speaker 1: for how many years.
[11:05] Speaker 3: We've been together for We've been married for thirteen years.
[11:08] Speaker 3: Next month, we've been together sixteen years.
[11:11] Speaker 1: So when you guys are at your your peak where
[11:15] Speaker 1: you both feel comfortable, where you're having enough intimacy where
[11:19] Speaker 1: you're like we're on a good path, how many days
[11:21] Speaker 1: a week would that be?
[11:23] Speaker 2: Okay?
[11:23] Speaker 3: Well, back in the early days, like we would have
[11:26] Speaker 3: sex for like five hours. It was like I remember
[11:28] Speaker 3: the crazy thing we were talking about, the five hour
[11:30] Speaker 3: energy shot or whatever, like like he would we would
[11:33] Speaker 3: just do it all the time. But now we've been
[11:35] Speaker 3: together sixteen years and I'm in my fifties, he's in
[11:38] Speaker 3: his fifties, and hormones change and life gets busy, and
[11:43] Speaker 3: you know, like he's always going to be there, and
[11:45] Speaker 3: you're like gay tomorrow, Like there's a lot gay tomorrow.
[11:49] Speaker 2: They're like, you don't have like that. I don't know.
[11:53] Speaker 2: It's like you don't.
[11:55] Speaker 3: It's not like when you're younger where you would like
[11:57] Speaker 3: want to fuck the arm of the couch. Yeah, I
[11:59] Speaker 3: mean like so now it's like it's more work and
[12:02] Speaker 3: this is something that we're navigating through now.
[12:05] Speaker 2: It's like, I love you. We spend all the time together.
[12:08] Speaker 3: Right, always throw both work out of the house where
[12:11] Speaker 3: best friends we work, and I said to him, said
[12:14] Speaker 3: to him, I'm like, I feel like our sex life
[12:17] Speaker 3: is lacking.
[12:17] Speaker 4: So but you don't ever find a moment where you
[12:20] Speaker 4: like catch him doing something or like you're disturbating. No, no,
[12:24] Speaker 4: just like maybe doing something like wiping the counter without
[12:27] Speaker 4: his shirt eye and you're like, oh, and you don't
[12:29] Speaker 4: like get that feeling like oh I need to Like
[12:31] Speaker 4: yeah I.
[12:31] Speaker 2: Do, I absolutely do. And then I'm like, okay, I
[12:34] Speaker 2: gotta go.
[12:34] Speaker 4: By the way podcast, when you when you get your
[12:38] Speaker 4: hormones situated, you could like you'll want to.
[12:41] Speaker 3: Fuck like a rub right, So I have no testosterone estrogen,
[12:44] Speaker 3: like I have zero zero, and then I also have
[12:50] Speaker 3: I just found this out a genetic situation where I
[12:53] Speaker 3: have no dopamine.
[12:55] Speaker 2: Oh and it's genetics.
[12:57] Speaker 3: So like you know, like I'm very even kill I'm
[12:59] Speaker 3: just like, yeah, do I cry once in a while?
[13:02] Speaker 2: Do I laugh once in a while? Like I'm very
[13:05] Speaker 2: like even. And Eddie's like he gets so excited about
[13:08] Speaker 2: the stupidest fucking things.
[13:10] Speaker 3: He literally will turn on Instagram and I will hear
[13:12] Speaker 3: him downstairs and I'm like, what the fuck are you
[13:16] Speaker 3: laughing at? Like he gets excited and happy about everything.
[13:21] Speaker 3: He's like, that's like always excited, always, And I'm like,
[13:26] Speaker 3: why are you when.
[13:26] Speaker 4: You're like irritated that he's excited, irritated.
[13:29] Speaker 2: That he's having fun on Instagram?
[13:31] Speaker 3: I understand, And I'm like, I wish I could be
[13:33] Speaker 3: that person, and I'm just not that you will be
[13:36] Speaker 3: though once you get that.
[13:37] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm hoping.
[13:38] Speaker 1: Yeah, I ask those questions because when you see people
[13:52] Speaker 1: who are like really fucking putting in the work, because
[13:55] Speaker 1: like you said, when you're first together, it's like you're
[13:58] Speaker 1: taking baths together, you're getting seck see for each other.
[14:00] Speaker 2: Yeah, like you do the whole.
[14:02] Speaker 1: Thing, and then time passes, hormones change, and it's like,
[14:05] Speaker 1: what is the secret because obviously intimacy has to be there, Yeah,
[14:09] Speaker 1: what is the secret to it? Like, so that's why
[14:12] Speaker 1: I asked you, like, what what is a healthy sex
[14:14] Speaker 1: life for?
[14:15] Speaker 3: In all honesty, Like, I am now maneuvering through that
[14:18] Speaker 3: and trying to figure that out because it's always been
[14:21] Speaker 3: so easy for us for up until the last couple
[14:23] Speaker 3: of years.
[14:24] Speaker 2: You've entured a new stage. Yeah, we entered a new stage.
[14:26] Speaker 4: We had a great sex therapist on and doctor Ian Kerner.
[14:29] Speaker 4: He's out of New York. And we learned something so
[14:32] Speaker 4: great about what like for play actually is, which is
[14:34] Speaker 4: not what we imagine it to be. It's like four
[14:37] Speaker 4: play starts hours days weeks before the lead.
[14:41] Speaker 2: Up of having sex. I thought, I'm not so interesting.
[14:43] Speaker 2: It was so great to hear.
[14:44] Speaker 3: Well, we had a so we so we finished filming
[14:48] Speaker 3: and then we decided to go to Big Bear for
[14:49] Speaker 3: a week and I noticed like we had been in
[14:52] Speaker 3: Big Bear, like we have no kids at home, which
[14:54] Speaker 3: is new for us. Ever since we've been together, we've
[14:57] Speaker 3: had kids in the house. So if he has recently
[14:59] Speaker 3: moved out in the past three month and we're in
[15:01] Speaker 3: Big Bear in like four days past, and I'm like,
[15:04] Speaker 3: we haven't even had sex. So I was I at
[15:08] Speaker 3: one point you have to become like intentional about it.
[15:11] Speaker 3: And I'm like, listen, I go, do you want to.
[15:12] Speaker 2: Go in the jacuzzi tonight?
[15:13] Speaker 3: Like, let's just go in the jacuzie and just like
[15:15] Speaker 3: hang out. He's not a big drinker, rarely drinks, and
[15:18] Speaker 3: so we go in the jacuzie and we ended up
[15:20] Speaker 3: getting in a fucking fight about our sex life, a
[15:25] Speaker 3: fucking fight, and I'm like, this is not like I like,
[15:29] Speaker 3: what the fuck is happening? Like we're fighting about it
[15:33] Speaker 3: and then it gets down like it was actually a
[15:35] Speaker 3: good fight because we don't really talk about it too much,
[15:39] Speaker 3: like neither one of us are big talkers. So he's like,
[15:42] Speaker 3: you don't understand, like sex is like an emotional thing
[15:45] Speaker 3: for me, like I have to like feel it, and
[15:47] Speaker 3: I just feel like you don't love me anymore and
[15:49] Speaker 3: you're not into me anymore. And he's very He's he's
[15:52] Speaker 3: like the pussy and the relationship, and I'm like the
[15:54] Speaker 3: hard ass guy. I am just like I because I
[16:00] Speaker 3: don't have dopamine and I didn't grow up like a
[16:02] Speaker 3: very touchy feeling family, and I'm just super busy that
[16:06] Speaker 3: I make him feel less. Then oh yeah, and it
[16:10] Speaker 3: really came out to that like, well, no, I'm not
[16:13] Speaker 3: pursuing it.
[16:13] Speaker 2: In his eyes, I'm not pursuing it because I feel
[16:15] Speaker 2: like you don't want me, And I'm like, but you
[16:17] Speaker 2: don't want me, so why would I want you. He's like,
[16:20] Speaker 2: but you wear sweats every night, and I'm like, both,
[16:22] Speaker 2: you go to sleep at seven, Like it's like a fight.
[16:25] Speaker 2: It needed to happen, though, No, it needed to happen.
[16:27] Speaker 2: You have sex every single day since. Then good for you.
[16:30] Speaker 2: Oh see, that's amazing.
[16:31] Speaker 1: I know.
[16:32] Speaker 3: But sometimes you just have to have those uncomfortable conversations
[16:35] Speaker 3: where you're like, like you don't want to rock the boat,
[16:39] Speaker 3: but you don't want to be in denial, Like let's
[16:42] Speaker 3: have this conversation. And by the way, Eddie is not
[16:45] Speaker 3: a great person to talk about his emotions at all.
[16:48] Speaker 2: Like I can stay calm and just be like, yeah,
[16:50] Speaker 2: I'm fucking like that. You'd be like, what the fuck
[16:53] Speaker 2: you really think I'm fucking like that? Oh my god,
[16:55] Speaker 2: but you do this to me and oh, I can't
[16:57] Speaker 2: do this emotional I'm leaving.
[16:59] Speaker 3: I'm leaving, leave and I go fucking leave bye, bitch,
[17:03] Speaker 3: I like that. And then he's like, I'm so sorry,
[17:06] Speaker 3: I'm so sorry I upset you.
[17:09] Speaker 2: Oh that is so sweet. Damn you're kind of a bitch.
[17:12] Speaker 2: I am such a hard Like my daughter's the same way.
[17:16] Speaker 4: But again, like we're talking about life. Sorry, life makes
[17:18] Speaker 4: you hard sometimes like that, so you have to like
[17:20] Speaker 4: intentionally tap in to being feminine and like sensual and
[17:25] Speaker 4: like and then you're just like, oh god, yeah, I
[17:28] Speaker 4: just want to put my sweats on.
[17:29] Speaker 3: I know, well, I actually thought about you recently La
[17:33] Speaker 3: during sex.
[17:34] Speaker 2: Yeah oh the room. No, but you made a comment
[17:38] Speaker 2: about Schwartz.
[17:39] Speaker 3: You're like, he's not the guy that's like choking you
[17:41] Speaker 3: out and doing all these things, And I'm.
[17:43] Speaker 2: Like, fuck, do I need to be choked out?
[17:45] Speaker 3: Like? It depends on what you know what I mean, like,
[17:46] Speaker 3: am I not having that crazy sex life?
[17:49] Speaker 2: You know what?
[17:50] Speaker 1: I used to think that if you were not having
[17:54] Speaker 1: just fucking like animalistic sex, that it was boring.
[17:58] Speaker 2: Jungle fucking is what I shall jungle fucking.
[18:01] Speaker 1: I used to think, like, oh, you're boring, You're a square,
[18:04] Speaker 1: You're basic. And just like as I've gotten older, there's
[18:07] Speaker 1: a time and a place and a mood for everything.
[18:10] Speaker 1: There are times where I'll be with someone where I'm like,
[18:12] Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to fucking leave a mark on
[18:14] Speaker 1: my ass and I'm gonna need to not breathe.
[18:16] Speaker 2: For a second. Go there.
[18:18] Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, Then there are moments where I'm like, I
[18:21] Speaker 1: just want to be like loved on, Like I need
[18:24] Speaker 1: softness sex with Eddie. If you're afer for Eddie, for
[18:32] Speaker 1: eddiewhere Eddie, fuck you.
[18:36] Speaker 2: Beat out this episode.
[18:38] Speaker 3: I know, I know, no but he's like the most loving,
[18:42] Speaker 3: caring guide. But the problem is is like if I
[18:44] Speaker 3: don't give him, if I don't match that energy. And
[18:47] Speaker 3: when I don't match it is when I'm filming, because
[18:50] Speaker 3: between doing the podcast like five days a week and
[18:52] Speaker 3: then have a new prep for it, record it, get glammed,
[18:56] Speaker 3: go do uh filming, and then you know, prep for
[18:59] Speaker 3: the podcast the next more mean, He's like, I'm invisible
[19:02] Speaker 3: for these three months. I'm totally invisible. And he acts
[19:06] Speaker 3: like he understands it, but he doesn't. He like he
[19:10] Speaker 3: really gets his feelings hurt, like he feels neglected.
[19:13] Speaker 2: That is so sweet.
[19:14] Speaker 4: But you guys have been together for a long freaking time,
[19:17] Speaker 4: so you guys are doing something right and it's working.
[19:18] Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I love them to death.
[19:20] Speaker 3: Like, and I'm the type of person. I don't know
[19:21] Speaker 3: if you're like this, Lalla, I don't know if this
[19:23] Speaker 3: is a virgo thing. But people fucking annoy the shit
[19:25] Speaker 3: out of me.
[19:26] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm getting there. I like an a guy thing.
[19:29] Speaker 2: People do annoy me and I just go I don't.
[19:32] Speaker 3: I can't. I can't deal with that person. So like,
[19:34] Speaker 3: if they're chewing too loud or breathing too loud or
[19:38] Speaker 3: doing things. I'm like, you're fucking dumb, Like I like
[19:42] Speaker 3: people bug me.
[19:43] Speaker 2: You know what.
[19:44] Speaker 4: My my little one is uh a scorpio. And I
[19:47] Speaker 4: literally have to separate my kids when they eat dinner
[19:50] Speaker 4: because the chewing.
[19:51] Speaker 2: Oh that's me makes her.
[19:52] Speaker 4: And I was like, literally London over there, Riley over
[19:55] Speaker 4: everyone's eating and separate rooms like dogs.
[19:57] Speaker 2: It's you have to separate dogs with me.
[19:59] Speaker 1: So I went, we're going to fight.
[20:00] Speaker 2: So you know, I actually went to a therapist. What
[20:02] Speaker 2: about this?
[20:03] Speaker 3: So I went to a therapist and I said, I
[20:06] Speaker 3: don't like to be touched. I can't have anybody talk
[20:08] Speaker 3: in my ear, like behind me. If somebody talks to
[20:10] Speaker 3: me on my ear, I'm gonna fucking die. When I
[20:12] Speaker 3: sit in a restaurant, I got to make sure nobody's
[20:14] Speaker 3: sitting behind me. And I did all these things, and
[20:16] Speaker 3: she goes, you really kind of sound like you're on
[20:18] Speaker 3: the spectrum.
[20:19] Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, I think you're artistic.
[20:21] Speaker 3: So then I got slammed for it because I will.
[20:26] Speaker 3: I will if somebody eats in front of me or
[20:28] Speaker 3: talks to loud or does something, I will have to
[20:32] Speaker 3: leave the room because I will want to physically punch
[20:34] Speaker 3: them in the face. Like that's the visceral feeling I
[20:37] Speaker 3: have towards them, like I want to strangle you.
[20:40] Speaker 2: Right, it's so bad.
[20:41] Speaker 3: So she told me this, and I'm like consuming this.
[20:44] Speaker 3: And I had talked to her about my daughter and
[20:48] Speaker 3: the like the emotions I have with that. And then
[20:50] Speaker 3: on top of that, I said, I literally when we
[20:53] Speaker 3: eat dinner at home, I he knows, like an he knows,
[20:55] Speaker 3: he's got to.
[20:56] Speaker 2: Turn the music on.
[20:58] Speaker 3: He's got to make sure because I will be like this, No,
[21:02] Speaker 3: that's Riley psychoize.
[21:05] Speaker 2: I'm like, she turns into like someone else, you know,
[21:09] Speaker 2: I want to punch somebody in the throat. Oh so
[21:12] Speaker 2: we'll punch you in the throat. What are you medicated
[21:14] Speaker 2: for it? I should be that, So I should be.
[21:18] Speaker 2: I should be. So I went.
[21:19] Speaker 3: So I went from I went to therapy where my
[21:22] Speaker 3: my you know, doctor is like, you sound like you're
[21:25] Speaker 3: you're on the spectrum.
[21:26] Speaker 2: We need to text you test you. You're on the spectrum.
[21:28] Speaker 3: So I go back. I have fifteen minutes to leave,
[21:30] Speaker 3: and I go to a podcast with Teddy and it
[21:34] Speaker 3: was new. Therapy was kind of new for me at
[21:36] Speaker 3: the time, and I told her what the therapist said.
[21:38] Speaker 2: I got fucking annihilated.
[21:41] Speaker 3: How dare you say that? Who do you think you are?
[21:44] Speaker 3: And all these things ripped apart.
[21:46] Speaker 2: Because Stroy, you said what my therapist had told me.
[21:50] Speaker 1: Yeah, and keep in mind it's the the reason it's
[21:54] Speaker 1: called the spectrum is because there are many layers and
[21:57] Speaker 1: many places that you can fall onto it.
[22:00] Speaker 2: Correct, right, this is a professional.
[22:02] Speaker 4: By the way, I have adomational I have a daughter
[22:05] Speaker 4: who's on the spectrum, so I really know this very
[22:07] Speaker 4: That's why I said, like, are you when you said
[22:09] Speaker 4: that to me, I instantly thought, oh, like there could
[22:12] Speaker 4: possibly and like whil it was just saying you could
[22:15] Speaker 4: have a smidge And as women, we hide women who
[22:20] Speaker 4: are on the spectrum. They hide it so well because
[22:24] Speaker 4: our verbal skills are usually way above kids that are nonverbal,
[22:27] Speaker 4: and kids don't get diagnosed till they're fourteen, fifteen, and
[22:31] Speaker 4: sometime well into their twenties.
[22:33] Speaker 1: So you know who's advocating for this right now? There's
[22:36] Speaker 1: many women, but a dear friend of mine, Brittany Cartwright,
[22:38] Speaker 1: who talks about early intervention and if you see certain
[22:43] Speaker 1: traits that just seem different, to take your child in
[22:48] Speaker 1: because again it's a spectrum. There's many places that you
[22:51] Speaker 1: could land.
[22:52] Speaker 3: There's like extreme and then there's and to this day,
[22:55] Speaker 3: like I'm like, I'm never talking about that like I
[22:58] Speaker 3: was normally.
[22:59] Speaker 2: And we're having you turn about it right now. Okay,
[23:01] Speaker 2: it's okay.
[23:01] Speaker 3: I was not only was I in a horrible place
[23:03] Speaker 3: in my life, and then I was talking about it
[23:06] Speaker 3: with the therapist, and then I shared what the therapist
[23:09] Speaker 3: said to me. Then I got fucking annihilated publicly.
[23:13] Speaker 1: And everyone was allowing you to go to therapy, and
[23:15] Speaker 1: you finally do when you share what you've learned about yourself, and.
[23:17] Speaker 2: People were like, fuck, yeah, you're that just a wire.
[23:21] Speaker 1: I feel like you sharing this is extremely helpful because
[23:23] Speaker 1: you're not the only person who who is dealing with
[23:26] Speaker 1: something like that and going I don't have an answer
[23:29] Speaker 1: for this.
[23:30] Speaker 2: No, I got a lot of fucked up things in
[23:31] Speaker 2: my head.
[23:32] Speaker 1: Well, you also you also had a very tough childhood,
[23:35] Speaker 1: and we and we watched you talk about that for
[23:38] Speaker 1: what nineteen years now, about where you come from, what
[23:42] Speaker 1: your home life was like.
[23:43] Speaker 2: And I think so often.
[23:45] Speaker 1: People forget, even I forget, that's just how how human
[23:48] Speaker 1: beings are built.
[23:50] Speaker 2: But when you meet someone.
[23:51] Speaker 1: Who maybe doesn't move the way you move, you forget
[23:54] Speaker 1: what experiences they've had in life to make them who
[23:56] Speaker 1: they are. Yeh, you're going to see this season on
[24:00] Speaker 1: the Valley with Nia, we have a long I think
[24:04] Speaker 1: you know, we're on episode eight or nine now, We've
[24:08] Speaker 1: got a long road ahead of us. And I just
[24:10] Speaker 1: find that if people can take a step back and remember, like,
[24:14] Speaker 1: there's a lot that went into making this person who
[24:16] Speaker 1: they are, and guess what, from now until next year,
[24:19] Speaker 1: there's going to be a lot of other shit that
[24:21] Speaker 1: shifts them again, right, absolutely, And I think that's what's
[24:24] Speaker 1: so hard about just being a person, but then being
[24:27] Speaker 1: on reality TV is we were talking about this how
[24:30] Speaker 1: you act maybe this season and what you believe in
[24:33] Speaker 1: and stand for. They can take a clip from ten
[24:35] Speaker 1: years ago and insert that and you are held to
[24:38] Speaker 1: that standard and put in that box for the rest
[24:41] Speaker 1: of your days.
[24:41] Speaker 3: Yeah. Now, I relatively had a good season this year. Great,
[24:46] Speaker 3: But also I film Ultimate Girls Trip twenty years right,
[24:51] Speaker 3: so I film that right before we started filming Orange County.
[24:54] Speaker 2: Has that cast been released? Yes, it has.
[24:57] Speaker 3: So it's Kyle, it's Vickie, it's Luanne.
[25:05] Speaker 1: Oh, I saw all the content you guys were making.
[25:07] Speaker 3: Yes, so we did that and me and Channon have
[25:10] Speaker 3: this huge fight and we ultimately got fired so to speak,
[25:15] Speaker 3: or asked not to go to the season finale of
[25:18] Speaker 3: Ultimate Girls Trip. What yes, So in my mind I
[25:22] Speaker 3: keep thinking, holy shit, like I relatively, like, I mean,
[25:27] Speaker 3: as good as season as you can have, Like I
[25:29] Speaker 3: feel like it was.
[25:30] Speaker 2: It was a good season.
[25:31] Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh god, one month after we air,
[25:36] Speaker 3: Ultimate Girls Trip is gonna air at the same time
[25:38] Speaker 3: the show is, and I'm like, oh great.
[25:43] Speaker 2: Like, oh my god, she's now a bitch, now a bitch.
[25:46] Speaker 1: Someone said to me, it's never the first impression, it's
[25:48] Speaker 1: always the last. We're always taught like first impressions.
[25:51] Speaker 3: It's the first episode of Ultimate Girls Trip. So they
[25:53] Speaker 3: have a whole season where I'm not in it.
[25:55] Speaker 2: So you only made it one day? Yeah one day? Wow.
[26:10] Speaker 1: So this season we're gonna see Sophia. Yes, yes, I
[26:14] Speaker 1: think your guys' relationship that is her.
[26:17] Speaker 2: Where does Sophia fall? Youngest, middle youngest is the baby youngest.
[26:20] Speaker 3: Yeah, she's just such a good kid. She's a cool
[26:23] Speaker 3: chick living in a Orange County. Like she doesn't follow
[26:27] Speaker 3: the rules. She's not like, I'm gonna wear Lulu limon,
[26:29] Speaker 3: I'm gonna have straight blonde hair and have a crap
[26:32] Speaker 3: top on.
[26:32] Speaker 2: She's like, no, it's just the daughter that yeah this morning.
[26:35] Speaker 2: So she's I love her.
[26:36] Speaker 3: She's edgy, she's cool, she's into music, she's in the art,
[26:40] Speaker 3: she's changing her hair color. She only thrifts all her clothes.
[26:45] Speaker 1: I love that.
[26:46] Speaker 2: She's just like such and she.
[26:47] Speaker 3: Sells clothes online like this girl like she doesn't even
[26:50] Speaker 3: have like a regular job, and she makes a ton
[26:53] Speaker 3: of money just selling clothes and doing different shit and
[26:56] Speaker 3: doing performances.
[26:58] Speaker 2: And she's just such a cool chick. And you love
[27:01] Speaker 2: her boyfriend.
[27:02] Speaker 3: I love him so much. I'm like, if you guys
[27:04] Speaker 3: break up, on to be heartbroken, heartbroak.
[27:07] Speaker 2: Long have they been together a year? And is this
[27:10] Speaker 2: her first? She's young, she.
[27:12] Speaker 3: Was a virgin when she met him. Wow, yeah, so
[27:14] Speaker 3: at twenty she was a virgin until she was twenty And.
[27:18] Speaker 2: I love this And is she going to talk about
[27:20] Speaker 2: this on the podcast?
[27:21] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[27:21] Speaker 2: I love this, you know.
[27:22] Speaker 3: And it was like a really weird moment for me
[27:25] Speaker 3: because she came up and told me, She's like, mom,
[27:28] Speaker 3: you know what I want to talk about like birth control.
[27:31] Speaker 3: I'm like, so you're having sex right, and she's like yeah.
[27:34] Speaker 3: And then there's like this freaky side of me.
[27:36] Speaker 2: I'm like, is he doing it right?
[27:37] Speaker 3: Is touching? Is he touching in all the right spots?
[27:40] Speaker 3: Are you having orgasms?
[27:42] Speaker 1: Like?
[27:42] Speaker 2: Do you need me to teach you? Like I got
[27:45] Speaker 2: like all weird? I am that mom. I will be
[27:48] Speaker 2: that mom, and I like it.
[27:49] Speaker 4: I go there with my kids, my older one a
[27:52] Speaker 4: little bit, and they're like, they think it's so weird,
[27:54] Speaker 4: but I want that conversation. Yes, And what was she receptive?
[27:57] Speaker 3: Was she willing to like she's like told my kids
[27:59] Speaker 3: she said, I was fourteen when I was banging and
[28:01] Speaker 3: she was twenty when she started banging.
[28:03] Speaker 2: So yeah, you know what, good on you. Yeah, you're
[28:06] Speaker 2: a fantastic mother. And I had a lot of STDs
[28:10] Speaker 2: in the relationships. Do you know what shit happen? I
[28:16] Speaker 2: was just banging. I'm like, yeah, you would have bang,
[28:17] Speaker 2: yell bang ye oh.
[28:18] Speaker 1: When I was my virginity, I was like frequenting planned
[28:21] Speaker 1: parenthood and then I would take all the free contents
[28:23] Speaker 1: and then they would break and I'd be like, I'm
[28:25] Speaker 1: back for planned.
[28:25] Speaker 2: Being they're like, la, la, we've seen you here before.
[28:29] Speaker 1: Yes, Like it just there's there's something And I want
[28:34] Speaker 1: to talk to my children when they're obviously much older. Yeah,
[28:38] Speaker 1: but losing your your first sexual experience tease you up
[28:42] Speaker 1: for how you look at sex for the rest of
[28:44] Speaker 1: your life. My friends who did not do it the
[28:48] Speaker 1: way that I did it have very unhealthy relationships with See.
[28:51] Speaker 3: That's also what I worry about, is like she obviously
[28:54] Speaker 3: has a great relationship with Nico, and this is the
[28:58] Speaker 3: first guy she's ever been with, and they talk about
[29:01] Speaker 3: getting married, and I'm like, you.
[29:03] Speaker 2: Really want to be married the first guy you ever branged?
[29:05] Speaker 2: Like zoom. But then I'm like, I love the relationship.
[29:08] Speaker 2: They're so cute together. He's such a good guy.
[29:12] Speaker 3: He's just like because from a very strict Catholic family,
[29:17] Speaker 3: still lives at home, very helpful at home, just a
[29:20] Speaker 3: good son, a good likely she.
[29:24] Speaker 2: Found her person.
[29:25] Speaker 3: Yeah, she found her person, which was so crazy because
[29:27] Speaker 3: she went through so much shit with OCD and anxiety
[29:31] Speaker 3: and high school during the pandemic and was depressed and medicated,
[29:38] Speaker 3: and she went through a lot of shit she went through.
[29:42] Speaker 1: And being so young, like how old was she when
[29:45] Speaker 1: you you split with her dad four, Like, that's such
[29:50] Speaker 1: a tough There's a part of me that's so glad
[29:53] Speaker 1: that I left when Ocean was only seven months because
[29:57] Speaker 1: she literally doesn't she won't know.
[29:58] Speaker 2: You're so lucky.
[29:59] Speaker 3: But even yeah, even Sophia at four, Like you know,
[30:02] Speaker 3: I had Sophia was four, Spencer who was nine or ten,
[30:09] Speaker 3: and then Sydney who was like twelve or thirteen, I
[30:12] Speaker 3: can't remember exactly, but around those ages, each one of
[30:15] Speaker 3: them dealt with divorce at different times in their life.
[30:18] Speaker 3: So Sophia never really had knowledge, remembered her dad and
[30:23] Speaker 3: us being together, right, So as she was the one
[30:26] Speaker 3: that it hit latest, it didn't hit her until Polly
[30:31] Speaker 3: middle school, wow, which it hit the other kids at
[30:34] Speaker 3: different ages, and each kid reacts to it differently.
[30:38] Speaker 2: So differently.
[30:39] Speaker 1: I know, once you think like you've you've parented one kid,
[30:43] Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I know exactly what I'm doing. The
[30:45] Speaker 1: second comes are completely different human and then the third
[30:47] Speaker 1: comes and you're like, what the fuck I thought I
[30:49] Speaker 1: had this down. And each kid is so different you
[30:52] Speaker 1: need a new set of tools with each and every
[30:54] Speaker 1: one of them.
[30:55] Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel bipolar sometimes when I'm parenting like I
[30:57] Speaker 4: have to give, Like Lennon will call me and she
[31:00] Speaker 4: he just needs someone to like listen to and and hear,
[31:02] Speaker 4: and I get and then Riley she right, She's at
[31:05] Speaker 4: the age where I'm like Riley, like you better shape
[31:09] Speaker 4: up or ship out, Like it's so different, it's so
[31:12] Speaker 4: hard to like transition.
[31:13] Speaker 3: Well, I think that, like the biggest advice I give
[31:14] Speaker 3: to people going through divorce is like, love your children
[31:17] Speaker 3: more than you hate your ex. I just feel like
[31:20] Speaker 3: that's the best, because sometimes people hate their ex so
[31:22] Speaker 3: much that they involve their children without even knowing that
[31:25] Speaker 3: they are involving them. So just love your children so
[31:29] Speaker 3: much more than you hate your ex husband, because it
[31:31] Speaker 3: will only destroy the children.
[31:33] Speaker 4: Yeah, I do.
[31:33] Speaker 2: I love it. Sounds like you do. It sounds like
[31:36] Speaker 2: you both do. Yeah yeah, yeah. Well, thank you Tamra
[31:39] Speaker 2: so much. We have some parting to go do.
[31:42] Speaker 1: Now, Yes, getting we're doing this. I feel like we're
[31:47] Speaker 1: just talking.
[31:48] Speaker 2: We're just just talking anyway. I love you.
[31:50] Speaker 1: Thank you you guys, Thank you for listening to another
[31:52] Speaker 1: episode of Unlikely Affair. Remember an Unlikely Affair airs every
[31:56] Speaker 1: Thursday night at nine pm.
[31:59] Speaker 2: Bye A That

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