# "The First Time Felt Amazing. The Second Time, I Lost a Week" Creepypasta

An episode of [CreepsMcPasta Creepypasta Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1492008134), 11 Apr 2025, 28 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/65510647/the_first_time_felt_amazing_the_second_time_i_lost_a_week_creepypasta.mp3

LISTEN TO CREEPYPASTAS ON THE GO- SPOTIFY► https://open.spotify.com/show/7l0iRPd... iTUNES► https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast... Creepypastas are the campfire tales of the internet. Horror stories spread through Reddit r/nosleep, forums and blogs, rather than word of mouth. Whether you believe these scary stories to be true or not is left to your own discretion and imagination. SUGGESTED CREEPYPASTA PLAYLISTS- ►"Good Places to Start"- • "I wasn't careful enough on the deep ... ►"Personal Favourites"- • "I sold my soul for a used dishwasher... ►"Written by me"- • "I've been Blind my Whole Life" Creep... ►"Long Stories"- • Long Stories FOLLOW ME ON- ►Twitter: / creeps_mcpasta ►Instagram: / creepsmcpasta ►Twitch: / creepsmcpasta ►Facebook: / creepsmcpasta CREEPYPASTA MUSIC/ SFX- ►http://bit.ly/Audionic ♪ ►http://bit.ly/Myuusic ♪ ►http://bit.ly/incompt ♪ ►http://bit.ly/EpidemicM ♪ This creepypasta is for entertainment purposes only

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: I'll start by saying that if I had known what
[0:04] Speaker 1: this would lead to, I never would have touched it.
[0:09] Speaker 1: I would have kept dragging myself through the exhaustion and
[0:12] Speaker 1: creeping dread that had settled over my life. I would
[0:16] Speaker 1: have let it crush me instead. But at the time
[0:20] Speaker 1: it didn't feel like a mistake. It felt like salvation.
[0:27] Speaker 1: I was barely keeping it together mentally, physically, and emotionally.
[0:33] Speaker 1: Work was draining the life out of me. Every morning
[0:37] Speaker 1: I woke up with the same exhausted groan, accompanied by
[0:41] Speaker 1: the all too familiar, dull pain behind my eyes as
[0:44] Speaker 1: the realization that I had to get through another day
[0:47] Speaker 1: of this hit me. My life had become a loop
[0:51] Speaker 1: of meaningless emails and passive aggressive meetings. My social life
[0:56] Speaker 1: had deteriorated into scrolling through other people's happiness on Instagram.
[1:01] Speaker 1: My body felt sluggish, and so did everything else. Then,
[1:08] Speaker 1: out of nowhere, I got a text from Jason. He
[1:14] Speaker 1: was a guy I used to work with before he
[1:16] Speaker 1: burned out worse than me. I hadn't heard from him
[1:20] Speaker 1: in almost a year. Ever since he quit his job,
[1:23] Speaker 1: went through a brutal break up and spiraled into some
[1:26] Speaker 1: kind of depressive abyss. He wanted to meet up, and
[1:31] Speaker 1: when we did I barely recognized him when he walked
[1:35] Speaker 1: into the bar. Jason had always looked horrible, but as
[1:43] Speaker 1: he stood in front of me, he looked like he
[1:46] Speaker 1: had been reborn. His skin was clear and glowing, his
[1:51] Speaker 1: eyes were sharp and full of life. Even the way
[1:55] Speaker 1: he moved was different. I couldn't stop staring. What the
[2:01] Speaker 1: hell happened to you? I finally asked. Jason just smiled,
[2:06] Speaker 1: leaned back in his chair and figured it out. He
[2:12] Speaker 1: reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, nondescript
[2:16] Speaker 1: pill box. White. It looked like Ibroprofen at first glance.
[2:22] Speaker 1: He set it on the table between us. I frowned,
[2:28] Speaker 1: what's that? Jason slid the box toward me. The answer.
[2:36] Speaker 1: I picked it up, popped the lid open. Inside were
[2:41] Speaker 1: dozens of small, white pills, perfectly uniform, no logo, no label.
[2:48] Speaker 1: They could have been anything. I raised an eyebrow. You
[2:53] Speaker 1: selling me drugs now, Jason laughed. No, I don't sell them.
[2:58] Speaker 1: I don't even know where to get more. I let
[3:03] Speaker 1: out a dry chuckle and told him that this sounded
[3:06] Speaker 1: like some rich Silicon Valley guy's new tech bro drug,
[3:09] Speaker 1: some dumb arpttermized performance crap. But Jason just shook his head.
[3:16] Speaker 1: So where'd you get them? He hesitated, just for a moment.
[3:22] Speaker 1: Then he exceled like he'd made peace with something. I
[3:28] Speaker 1: can't explain it, not in a way that'll make sense.
[3:32] Speaker 1: But I don't need as many as I have, and
[3:35] Speaker 1: I don't want to leave without giving you the chance leave.
[3:40] Speaker 1: Jason nodded, I'm moving other side of the world. I
[3:46] Speaker 1: don't think I'm coming back. That hit harder than I expected.
[3:53] Speaker 1: Jason had been one of the few people who understood
[3:56] Speaker 1: how miserable our lives had been. I set the pill
[4:00] Speaker 1: box down. Jason, man, I don't know about this. He
[4:06] Speaker 1: held up a hand, cutting me off. You don't have
[4:10] Speaker 1: to take them. I'm not pushing anything. Just try it
[4:13] Speaker 1: one one time. If you don't like it, toss the rest.
[4:20] Speaker 1: He looked so at peace, and I was so tired.
[4:27] Speaker 1: I took the pill that night. It was instant. The
[4:32] Speaker 1: moment the pill dissolved on my tongue, I felt something
[4:36] Speaker 1: unlock inside me. Not a high, not like being drunk
[4:41] Speaker 1: or stoned, clarity, pure undiluted euphoria. My thoughts became razor sharp,
[4:51] Speaker 1: every idea crystal clear. My body felt light. Every single
[4:57] Speaker 1: inch of me just worked. I felt entirely unstoppable. I
[5:04] Speaker 1: lay back in my bed, staring at the ceiling and
[5:08] Speaker 1: realized I was smiling. A deep, unshakable contentment filled my chest.
[5:16] Speaker 1: For the first time in years. I felt alive. After that,
[5:23] Speaker 1: there was no crash, no sluggish come down, just the perfect,
[5:28] Speaker 1: dreamless sleep. The next morning, I had woken up from
[5:34] Speaker 1: the best sleep of my life, but better, like my
[5:39] Speaker 1: body had been completely reset, like every ounce of exhaustion,
[5:44] Speaker 1: every creeping doubt, every bit of background stress I've been
[5:48] Speaker 1: carrying for years had been scrubbed away. I breathed through
[5:53] Speaker 1: work like it was nothing, every task effortless. I finished
[5:58] Speaker 1: my entire workload before lunch. My boss even pulled me aside,
[6:02] Speaker 1: eyes wide. I don't know what's gotten into you, but
[6:07] Speaker 1: keep it up. This is some of the best work
[6:10] Speaker 1: I've seen from you. It wasn't just work. People noticed more.
[6:17] Speaker 1: Conversations flowed easier, my jokes landed harder. I felt sharper, funnier,
[6:23] Speaker 1: more confident than I ever had. By the end of
[6:27] Speaker 1: the day, my phone was blowing up. Friends I hadn't
[6:31] Speaker 1: talked to in months, reaching out, wanting to hang out.
[6:36] Speaker 1: I wasn't invisible anymore. That night, as I lay in bed,
[6:43] Speaker 1: i'd a thought circling around in my head, why wouldn't
[6:48] Speaker 1: I take another? But I also did not want to
[6:52] Speaker 1: depend on this, so I would hold off for a
[6:56] Speaker 1: while see if anything went wrong. I'd convinced myself that
[7:01] Speaker 1: I would only use it when things got really bad,
[7:04] Speaker 1: a boost to get me back on track. Maybe it
[7:08] Speaker 1: was even some kind of placebo effect, my brain waking
[7:12] Speaker 1: up for the first time in years and tricking itself
[7:15] Speaker 1: into feeling superhuman. But the next morning, when I rolled
[7:20] Speaker 1: out of bed and felt the familiar drag of exhaustion
[7:24] Speaker 1: pulling at me, I knew it had worn off. I
[7:30] Speaker 1: hesitated for a while, I even went through the motions
[7:33] Speaker 1: of a normal mourning, But it wasn't the same. That
[7:39] Speaker 1: sharp clarity I felt yesterday was gone, like a door
[7:43] Speaker 1: had been shut in my brain. The temptation was there,
[7:47] Speaker 1: whispering in the back of my head. Just one more?
[7:53] Speaker 1: What's the harm? I gave in easier then, I'd like
[8:00] Speaker 1: to admit. The second pill hit just like the first.
[8:06] Speaker 1: There was no slow build up, no waiting period. The
[8:09] Speaker 1: moment I swallowed it, my mind clicked into place, like
[8:14] Speaker 1: someone had turned the lights on inside my skull. The
[8:18] Speaker 1: heaviness in my limbs vanished. I was instantly unburdened by
[8:22] Speaker 1: hesitation or doubt. I was alive. Then I blinked and
[8:31] Speaker 1: an hour was gone. I stood in my bathroom, staring
[8:37] Speaker 1: at my reflection. The last thing I remembered was taking
[8:41] Speaker 1: the pill, checking the time, and heading toward the sink
[8:44] Speaker 1: to brush my teeth. But now it looked like I
[8:48] Speaker 1: had just got done taking a shower. The water was running,
[8:53] Speaker 1: and the clock on the wall said it was past eight.
[8:56] Speaker 1: I turned off the FORRCET and robed to my face,
[8:59] Speaker 1: trying to shake off the feeling of something being missing.
[9:03] Speaker 1: But I felt better than fine. My body was humming
[9:07] Speaker 1: with energy, the same exhilarating sensation I had felt before.
[9:13] Speaker 1: Maybe I'd just sowned out or fallen into some kind
[9:16] Speaker 1: of hyperfocus state. I wasn't about to overthink it, not
[9:23] Speaker 1: when it felt this good. I moved through chores and
[9:28] Speaker 1: work like there was second nature. Problems that would have
[9:32] Speaker 1: normally taken me hours to work through now came with
[9:35] Speaker 1: obvious solutions, as if my brain had already worked them
[9:39] Speaker 1: out in the background. When my bar dropped an urgent
[9:43] Speaker 1: project at my desk, expecting it to take the rest
[9:46] Speaker 1: of the day, I had finished it before lunch. That afternoon,
[9:52] Speaker 1: he called me into his office. If you keep this up,
[9:57] Speaker 1: we might have to talk about a real promotion. I nodded,
[10:03] Speaker 1: acting cool, but inside I was thrilled. I had been
[10:08] Speaker 1: stuck in this job for years, grinding through the same routine,
[10:13] Speaker 1: and now in less than a week, I was suddenly
[10:17] Speaker 1: the best employee in the room. The pill was working.
[10:25] Speaker 1: I decided to go out with some of the people
[10:27] Speaker 1: that had written me off a long time ago, after
[10:30] Speaker 1: I had bailed one too many times or let text
[10:33] Speaker 1: sit unanswered. And when I showed up, I wasn't the
[10:37] Speaker 1: quiet guy in the corner. I was the one keeping
[10:41] Speaker 1: conversations going, the one people actually wanted to talk to.
[10:48] Speaker 1: That's how I met Mia. It wasn't anything special, at
[10:54] Speaker 1: least not at first, just a random conversation at a bar,
[10:59] Speaker 1: a mutual and introducing us over drinks. But unlike every
[11:04] Speaker 1: other time I had tried to flirt with some one,
[11:07] Speaker 1: there was no awkwardness. The words came easily, the laughter
[11:12] Speaker 1: felt natural. By the end of the night we'd exchanged numbers.
[11:19] Speaker 1: By the end of the week, we'd gone on two dates.
[11:23] Speaker 1: At night, I stood in front of my mirror, studying
[11:27] Speaker 1: my own reflection. I looked so much more confident, the
[11:32] Speaker 1: same way Jason had. I wasn't going to stop, not
[11:38] Speaker 1: when I had a whole box left. The night I lost.
[11:45] Speaker 1: The week, I was supposed to meet mea for dinner.
[11:49] Speaker 1: I'd been looking forward to it all day. But as
[11:52] Speaker 1: I stood in front of my mirror fixing my shirt,
[11:56] Speaker 1: I felt something I never wanted to feel again, sluggishness.
[12:03] Speaker 1: My limbs felt heavy again, my thoughts weren't as sharp.
[12:08] Speaker 1: It was nothing extreme, but it was noticeable, the kind
[12:13] Speaker 1: of creeping exhaustion I had all but tried to forget about.
[12:18] Speaker 1: I knew what I had to do. I grabbed the
[12:22] Speaker 1: pill box from my dresser and popped one into my mouth.
[12:26] Speaker 1: It sat on my tongue for a moment before dissolving,
[12:30] Speaker 1: and just like that, the fog lifted, my heart beat steadied,
[12:36] Speaker 1: my mind lit up. That was the last thing I remembered.
[12:46] Speaker 1: I woke up in my bed. The first thing I
[12:49] Speaker 1: noticed was the morning light bleeding through my blinds. That
[12:55] Speaker 1: didn't make sense. My date had been at seven p m.
[13:01] Speaker 1: I reached for my phone, blinking against the brightness. The
[13:05] Speaker 1: screen showed the date. It was seven days later. I
[13:12] Speaker 1: sat up so fast I nearly fell out of bed.
[13:16] Speaker 1: My first thought was Mere, I had missed our date.
[13:20] Speaker 1: She must have been furious. And work. I had been
[13:24] Speaker 1: out for a whole week. My boss was going to
[13:27] Speaker 1: kill me. My bills, my emails, my texts, everything was
[13:32] Speaker 1: probably in ruins. I unlocked my phone, dreading what I
[13:37] Speaker 1: was about to see, but there were no miscalls or
[13:42] Speaker 1: panicked messages. I tried looking for a sign that anything
[13:46] Speaker 1: was wrong, but I couldn't find anything. I scrolled through
[13:51] Speaker 1: my texts, breath catching in my throat when I saw
[13:55] Speaker 1: an unread message from Mere. Last night was amazing. I
[14:01] Speaker 1: feel like I've known you forever. I can't wait to
[14:04] Speaker 1: see you again. I stared at the message, rereading it
[14:09] Speaker 1: over and over. We had gone on another date, I
[14:15] Speaker 1: had been there. I checked my care log. I'd spoken
[14:21] Speaker 1: to people, texted them, replied to emails. My work schedule
[14:26] Speaker 1: was completely normal, no absences. It was like I'd lived
[14:31] Speaker 1: the week perfectly, except I didn't remember any of it.
[14:38] Speaker 1: My hands were shaking when I decided to dial my coworker.
[14:42] Speaker 1: I had to know what was going on, and I
[14:46] Speaker 1: had no other way of getting information that I could
[14:48] Speaker 1: think of. He picked up almost immediately. Yo, what's up.
[14:57] Speaker 1: I forced the casual tone. Not much, man, just checking in.
[15:02] Speaker 1: How was work this week? There was a pause, then
[15:07] Speaker 1: a chuckle rough, but you should know you were there.
[15:14] Speaker 1: My stomach dropped. I tried again, Yeah, of course, just
[15:19] Speaker 1: you know. It was a blur, But remind me what happened.
[15:26] Speaker 1: He started listening off projects, meetings, conversations we'd had. I
[15:31] Speaker 1: hung up and called a close friend next, same thing.
[15:36] Speaker 1: You good men, They asked, you've been on fire lately?
[15:40] Speaker 1: Haven't seen you this sharpen years. I could barely respond.
[15:46] Speaker 1: My mouth had gone dry. Everyone remembered a week that
[15:51] Speaker 1: I didn't live. My body had been awake, but I
[15:55] Speaker 1: wasn't in it. The next number I called was Jason's.
[16:01] Speaker 1: This number is no longer in service. I tried again,
[16:06] Speaker 1: and again nothing. Jason was gone, probably already living life
[16:14] Speaker 1: in that other country he was talking about. That night
[16:20] Speaker 1: I dumped the pill box into the trash. I wasn't
[16:23] Speaker 1: touching it ever again. But the moment I made my
[16:28] Speaker 1: decision my body betrayed me. It started with what felt
[16:34] Speaker 1: like a mild headache pressing against my skull. By the
[16:38] Speaker 1: next morning, the ache had grown into a full body fever.
[16:43] Speaker 1: My muscles felt like they were shredding themselves apart. My
[16:47] Speaker 1: skin was too tight, too hot, crawling with a thousand
[16:51] Speaker 1: unseen insects. I called up on my couch, drenched in sweat,
[16:57] Speaker 1: gripping my stomach as waves of nausea row. I thought
[17:03] Speaker 1: it would pass, but it didn't. By the second day,
[17:09] Speaker 1: I couldn't think straight. My brain felt fractured, like there
[17:14] Speaker 1: was something inside it trying to dig its way out.
[17:18] Speaker 1: My thoughts wouldn't connect, My vision blurred, My hands shook
[17:23] Speaker 1: violently whenever I tried to hold anything. At one point,
[17:28] Speaker 1: I swore I heard someone whispering my name. I turned
[17:32] Speaker 1: my head so fast my neck cracked, but there was
[17:35] Speaker 1: no one there. By the third day, I wasn't sure
[17:41] Speaker 1: what was real anymore. I stopped showing up to work.
[17:46] Speaker 1: The job that had felt effortless now felt impossible. Every
[17:51] Speaker 1: email I tried to write came out as nonsense. I
[17:55] Speaker 1: would stare at my screen for hours, my fingers frozen,
[17:59] Speaker 1: my brain refusing to cooperate. My boss sent me a
[18:03] Speaker 1: single message, What's going on with you? You were doing so well.
[18:11] Speaker 1: I didn't answer. My friend stopped reaching out. At first,
[18:17] Speaker 1: they checked in asked if I was okay, but I
[18:20] Speaker 1: was moody, volatile, paranoid. I would snap at them for
[18:26] Speaker 1: no reason, then apologize the next day. Eventually they stopped
[18:32] Speaker 1: texting back. Mia was the last to go. She stuck
[18:38] Speaker 1: around longer than I expected. She tried to be patient,
[18:43] Speaker 1: but I could see it in her eyes. She didn't
[18:47] Speaker 1: understand what had changed. One night, she came over, sat
[18:53] Speaker 1: next to me on my couch and said, you're different now.
[18:59] Speaker 1: I didn't even argue. She left, and I didn't try
[19:04] Speaker 1: to stop her. By the end of the week, I
[19:09] Speaker 1: was completely alone. I had lost everything the pill had
[19:14] Speaker 1: given me, my job, my friends, my mind, my body.
[19:19] Speaker 1: The worst of all, I had lost who I could
[19:23] Speaker 1: have been because I wasn't just feeling withdrawal. I was
[19:28] Speaker 1: feeling hollow, like whatever had been inside me for that
[19:33] Speaker 1: missing week had taken something with it when it left,
[19:38] Speaker 1: and the only way to get it back was to
[19:41] Speaker 1: take another pill. I held out as long as I could,
[19:47] Speaker 1: I really did. I locked myself in my apartment, trying
[19:52] Speaker 1: to sweat it out. To fight through it. I promised
[19:56] Speaker 1: I wouldn't touch it again. My body moved, I could
[20:00] Speaker 1: stop it. I dug through the trash, hands shaking, tearing
[20:05] Speaker 1: open the bag, searching for the pill box. Halfway through,
[20:11] Speaker 1: I realized how out of control I was. Yet I
[20:15] Speaker 1: couldn't do anything about it. I held one of the
[20:19] Speaker 1: pills in my palm, staring at it. I didn't want
[20:23] Speaker 1: to take it, but I didn't have a choice. I
[20:28] Speaker 1: put it on my tongue and swallowed. I woke up
[20:37] Speaker 1: to the smell of fresh coffee, inexpensive perfume, soft morning
[20:43] Speaker 1: light filtered through the sheer white curtains. The bed beneath
[20:47] Speaker 1: me was impossibly soft, the kind of mattress that swallowed
[20:51] Speaker 1: you whole. For a moment, I thought I was dreaming.
[20:58] Speaker 1: Then I turned my head. A woman was sleeping beside me.
[21:05] Speaker 1: Mir My pulls spiked. I sat up too fast, the
[21:10] Speaker 1: sheets tangling around me. As I struggled to get free.
[21:15] Speaker 1: My body felt different, stronger. This wasn't my bed. The
[21:22] Speaker 1: realization settled in my stomach like a stone. I swung
[21:27] Speaker 1: my legs over the side and stood up, scanning the room.
[21:31] Speaker 1: It was massive, a high rise apartment, modern and sleek,
[21:37] Speaker 1: floor to ceiling windows overlooking a glittering city skyline. I
[21:43] Speaker 1: had never been here before. There was a walking closet
[21:47] Speaker 1: to my left, the door slightly ajar. Inside, racks of
[21:53] Speaker 1: expensive suits and designer shoes lined the walls. The shelves
[21:58] Speaker 1: held watches that cost more than I rent used to.
[22:02] Speaker 1: None of it was mine, but it was. I opened
[22:09] Speaker 1: the bedside draw and found a wallet with my ID,
[22:13] Speaker 1: my name, my face. I turned to the nightstand and
[22:17] Speaker 1: grabbed my phone, fingers trembling as I checked the lock screen.
[22:23] Speaker 1: The date stared back at me. One year later. I
[22:29] Speaker 1: stopped breathing. A year, not a week, a full year.
[22:37] Speaker 1: The room blurred around me, A sudden rush of nausea
[22:40] Speaker 1: climbing up my throat. I gripped the edge of the dresser,
[22:44] Speaker 1: struggling to keep myself upright. One year I had lost
[22:50] Speaker 1: an entire year, but somehow I had still been here.
[22:56] Speaker 1: I unlocked my phone with a shaking hands, scroll through
[23:00] Speaker 1: months of text messages I didn't recognize. At the top
[23:05] Speaker 1: was a chat with mire. My breath hitched. I opened it.
[23:12] Speaker 1: We had kept dating, we had traveled together. She had
[23:17] Speaker 1: sent pictures of us at expensive restaurants on boats in
[23:20] Speaker 1: different countries. There were videos of me smiling, laughing, talking
[23:26] Speaker 1: about how amazing life had been I had proposed to her.
[23:33] Speaker 1: There was a photo of her hand, a diamond ring
[23:36] Speaker 1: shining against the skin. I read the messages, trying to
[23:41] Speaker 1: force a single memory to the surface, but there was nothing.
[23:47] Speaker 1: I was looking at someone else's life, a better life,
[23:52] Speaker 1: a perfect life, and I hadn't been here to live it.
[23:58] Speaker 1: I backed out of my text checked my bank account.
[24:02] Speaker 1: The balance nearly made me drop the phone. Millions. I
[24:09] Speaker 1: had become insanely wealthy. Whatever had been using my body
[24:14] Speaker 1: for the past year, it had played the part flawlessly.
[24:20] Speaker 1: I scrawled through emails. I had a high powered job now,
[24:24] Speaker 1: something in finance, something I knew I had never been
[24:27] Speaker 1: qualified for. I had clients, colleagues who respected me. I
[24:33] Speaker 1: was a completely different person, and nobody seemed to notice.
[24:41] Speaker 1: Mia stirred in her bed. I flinched. She sat up,
[24:47] Speaker 1: stretching her hair falling in waves over her shoulders. She
[24:52] Speaker 1: turned to me with an easy familiarity, smiling like she
[24:57] Speaker 1: had done this a hundred times before. Warning, baby, she murmured,
[25:04] Speaker 1: voice heavy with sleep. I felt like I was going
[25:09] Speaker 1: to be sick. I stumbled out of the bedroom and
[25:13] Speaker 1: into the hallway, my breath coming fast and shallow. The
[25:17] Speaker 1: apartment was pristine, enormous. Every service was sleek and polished,
[25:24] Speaker 1: every piece of furniture meticulously chosen. I made my way
[25:29] Speaker 1: to the kitchen, hands gripping the counter as I tried
[25:33] Speaker 1: to steady myself. What was I supposed to do? I
[25:39] Speaker 1: couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't say, Hey, I actually haven't
[25:44] Speaker 1: been here for the past year. Can you tell me
[25:46] Speaker 1: what happened? My life was perfect and everything I had
[25:52] Speaker 1: ever wanted, but none of it belonged to me because
[25:59] Speaker 1: I was the one who had built it. I took
[26:04] Speaker 1: a shaky breath, trying to think. Could I fake it,
[26:10] Speaker 1: just pick up where my body had left off, learn
[26:12] Speaker 1: the routines, read through my messages, figure out how to
[26:16] Speaker 1: become this version of me? Or should I try to
[26:20] Speaker 1: stop it, find out what really happened, make sure it
[26:24] Speaker 1: never happened again. I wasn't sure what the right answer was.
[26:31] Speaker 1: But then my hand moved, not on its own. I
[26:37] Speaker 1: could feel myself doing it. I was reaching, but I
[26:42] Speaker 1: wasn't making the choice. My fingers brushed against something cold
[26:47] Speaker 1: and smooth on the counter. I looked down the pill box,
[26:54] Speaker 1: the same one Jason had given me, the same one
[26:57] Speaker 1: I had thrown away, the same one I had sworn
[27:01] Speaker 1: off forever I was waiting. I stared at the pill
[27:07] Speaker 1: in my hand. I knew what would happen, but even
[27:11] Speaker 1: as I tried to resist, I felt it that pull,
[27:18] Speaker 1: that impossible temptation. I had taken one to lose an hour,
[27:24] Speaker 1: one to lose a week, one to lose a year,
[27:29] Speaker 1: And now, as the pill pressed against my lips, I
[27:34] Speaker 1: wondered how much would I lose this time?

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