# #306: Disney Mom Episode

An episode of [A Beautiful Mess Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1485472892), 29 Jun 2026, 52 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/498/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/abmpodcast/ABM_EP306_Final.mp3?dest-id=1624655

This week we're sharing all things Disneyland and Disneyworld with children including our best advice for keeping magical vibes, favorite traditions, special foods and things we've learned from almost ten years of visiting Disney with small kids. Thank you to this week's sponsor: Go to dupe.com to finally feel confident about what to buy Favorite things to do/ traditions: Small World Get every kind of snack possible Bibbidi bobbidi boutique Meal with characters Book Report: Emma: Her Body and Other Parties By Carmen Maria Machado Elsie: Famesick by Lena Dunham You can support us by leaving us a couple of 5 star recipe reviews this week at abeautifulmess.com Have a topic idea for the podcast? Write in to us at podcast@abeautifulmess.com or leave us a voicemail at 417-893-0011.

## Transcript

[0:00] Elsie
[0:01] You're listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast, your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Elsie Larson.
[0:02] Emma
[0:03] And I'm your host, Emma Chapman.
[0:04] Elsie
[0:05] This week, we're sharing all things Disneyland and Disney World with children, including our best
[0:06] advice for keeping magical vibes, favorite traditions, special foods, and things we've learned from our
[0:07] almost 10 years of visiting Disney with small kids. Yeah, yeah, we did not know if we were gonna do
[0:08] this episode, but we got a lot of requests after we mentioned it, so we're doing it. We're here, we're
[0:09] gonna have this one and done Disney episode in our archive for all time, so if you go to Disney World,
[0:10] or if you have a friend who's going in there real nervous, and then this, because it's going to be a lot of
[0:11] pep talk. Okay, I have to do this game before we start. This is, you're gonna.. oh my god, this is gonna
[0:12] be so funny. This was Jeremy's idea.
[0:13] Emma
[0:14] See, Jermy's involved in the podcast.
[0:15] Elsie
[0:16] Jeremy is a little bit involved in the podcast.
[0:17] Emma
[0:18] He is.
[0:19] Elsie
[0:20] So I'm gonna give you an acronym test of popular, like abbreviations. We did this on each other, and it
[0:21] was so funny, like how many we didn't know. It's harder than you think. So everyone can play along.
[0:22] Emma
[0:23] I will get none of them, honestly.
[0:24] Elsie
[0:25] She's gonna do terrible. I'm counting on it, actually.
[0:26] Emma
[0:27] I can't even do real life ones, like I'm like, I never know anything.
[0:28] Elsie
[0:29] Okay, so this is from Reader's digest.com and I, it's their acronym examples article. So, okay, things
[0:30] like, but we're not gonna do any this easy, like ASAP as soon as possible. It's things like that. So, that's
[0:31] the game. I'm just gonna say them, and then she's gonna say what they are. So, first one, zip, like your
[0:32] zip code, what does that stand for? Like, Z I, Z, I P stands for something. Nope, okay, it stands for Zone
[0:33] Improvement Plan.
[0:34] Emma
[0:35] I don't even know what that means. Oh boy, I'm gonna fail. Okay, so bad.
[0:36] Elsie
[0:37] This one's more like a pop culture term, dink, d i n k. Do you know that one? It describes a group of like
[0:38] a socioeconomic group of people.
[0:39] Emma
[0:40] Nope.
[0:41] Elsie
[0:42] Okay, it stands for dual income, no kids.
[0:43] Emma
[0:44] Oh,
[0:45] Elsie
[0:46] Yes, yeah, that's nice.
[0:47] Emma
[0:48] Boy, that sounds nice.
[0:49] Elsie
[0:50] I've never heard this one, so I don't know if anyone's gonna know this, but I'm just gonna say it. It's
[0:51] Hippo H I P P O. What does that stand for? Yeah, okay, nope. It stands for highest paid person's
[0:52] opinion. Like,I'm trying to think of a situation where it's like, okay to be like the highest paid person in
[0:53] this room is only the one who can answer, you know what I mean, but I guess it's, I don't know, I don't
[0:54] know when you would use that one.
[0:55] Emma
[0:56] I guess that would come up at the workplace, I don't know, it's, I don't know, it's pretty rude though.
[0:57] Elsie
[0:58] Okay, snafu s n a f u.
[0:59] Emma
[1:00] Okay, I feel like I've seen people use this. I just.. and I actually don't know. What do you perceive that
[1:01] means in general? I think it means you made like a gaffe, like you've put your foot in your mouth, but I
[1:02] don't know what it stands for, really.
[1:03] Elsie
[1:04] That's definitely the meaning. Okay, so it's situation normal all fouled up. No one was gonna know that.
[1:05] Emma
[1:06] Yeah, no, I had to know it. It meant that, but I, I knew it meant, like, oh, you said something you
[1:07] shouldn't have said, like, you're, you know, you need to say a little soft apology.
[1:08] Elsie
[1:09] Yeah, okay, there's different categories.
[1:10] Emma
[1:11] I'm so happy, I got at least one. You got like, I'm like, see, I'm a human.
[1:12] Elsie
[1:13] You did good, you did good. Okay, yeah. This brand acronyms, that one's not really fair, because it's
[1:14] like no one needs to know what the letters from Ikea stand for, right? Whatever. So, okay, you probably
[1:15] know these ones, so this isn't under educational acronyms, so STEM or STEAM. Do you know either
[1:16] one of those?
[1:17] Emma
[1:18] I don't really know what it stands for, but I feel like it means like you're in science or you're studying
[1:19] science things like coding or medicine or biology or something.
[1:20] Elsie
[1:21] Yes, so STEM stands for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics and steam is the same
[1:22] thing, but arts is added in.
[1:23] Emma
[1:24] When does steam come up? It seems no offense, but art kind of seems like the outlier out of those
[1:25] ones. Okay. Well, that's cool.
[1:26] Elsie
[1:27] I guess you're right. Oh, this is a fun one. You're not going to get it, but I just want to say it for fun.
[1:28] Abba, the Music Group, Abba, what's there? Does A B B A stand for? I didn't even know it stood for
[1:29] something, so.
[1:30] Emma
[1:31] I don't know. I didn't either.
[1:32] Elsie
[1:33] It's their names. Oh, okay. So, Agnes. A Bjorn, Benny, and Annie Fred.
[1:34] Emma
[1:35] Oh, fun.
[1:36] Elsie
[1:37] Isn't that cool?
[1:38] Emma
[1:39] I love the name Bjorn.
[1:40] Elsie
[1:41] I know I love it. I love it. Okay, so this is another one from entertainment. So, when an actor gets all the
[1:42] awards and it's called an EGOT, what does that stand for?
[1:43] Emma
[1:44] It means they got an Emmy, a Grammy, a Oscar, and a Tony.
[1:45] Elsie
[1:46] Yep, I knew you would get that one good. Oh my gosh, okay. This is fun. So this is the Disney park,
[1:47] Epcot. What does Epcot stand for?
[1:48] Emma
[1:49] I didn't know it stood for anything. Oh no.
[1:50] Elsie
[1:51] You're not gonna get it. I just want.. I just like, okay. It's experimental prototype community of tomorrow,
[1:52] isn't that kind of fun?
[1:53] Emma
[1:54] I feel like I knew of tomorrow because there's like tomorrow land.
[1:55] Elsie
[1:56] They have rides that, like, the ride, the farming ride, you know, talking about that Keely really likes.
[1:57] Emma
[1:58] Yeah, yeah, Epcot is very. the future can be bright, that's their vibe. I knew that, but I'm like, I don't know
[1:59] what to stand for at all.
[2:00] Elsie
[2:01] Okay. Well, here's one you'll know: SAG.
[2:02] Emma
[2:03] Yeah, Screen Actors Guild.
[2:04] Elsie
[2:05] Okay, MOMA.
[2:06] Emma
[2:07] The Museum of Modern Art.
[2:08] Elsie
[2:09] Good job. Okay, let's do a couple more like pop culture ones.
[2:10] Emma
[2:11] So feel like I really learned something with DINK there.
[2:12] Elsie
[2:13] Can't believe you haven't heard that one before.
[2:14] Emma
[2:15] That party was full of DINKs.
[2:16] Elsie
[2:17] They live up to it too. Okay, so this one is kind of like texting and internet slaying, so ASAP, as soon as
[2:18] possible, BRB, be right back.
[2:19] Emma
[2:20] So I know what a MILF is. I got that.
[2:21] Elsie
[2:22] ICYMI?
[2:23] Emma
[2:24] Nah, I always see that one, and I don't know what it means.
[2:25] Elsie
[2:26] It means, in case you missed it.
[2:27] Emma
[2:28] Oh, okay.
[2:29] Elsie
[2:30] IMO?
[2:31] Emma
[2:32] In my opinion.
[2:33] Elsie
[2:34] Good job. IYKYK?
[2:35] Emma
[2:36] I don't know, I've seen that one. I don't know.
[2:37] Elsie
[2:38] If you know, you know.
[2:39] Emma
[2:40] Okay.
[2:41] Elsie
[2:42] TTYL?
[2:43] Emma
[2:44] Talk to you later. I got it.
[2:45] Elsie
[2:46] TLDR? This one's kind of my favorite.
[2:47] Emma
[2:48] I don't know.
[2:49] Elsie
[2:50] It's rude. Too long, didn't read.
[2:51] Emma
[2:52] Oh, nice.
[2:53] Elsie
[2:54] Okay, we'll end it there. Okay, I'm gonna say, like, I think you did better than I thought you were gonna
[2:55] do. I did pretty good, like, I know, TBR, that's it. Well, you have to learn everything for the first time,
[2:56] right? You do whatever. Sometimes you have to learn things a few times. All right, so we're gonna start
[2:57] giving Disney advice, and I'm not, I'm just gonna be like totally honest. One of my biggest insecurities
[2:58] about the podcast is that I talk more than Emma. We have, we can see on the recorder on the screen,
[2:59] there's like a graph that shows how much we talk compared to each other, and every single time mine
[3:00] is like bigger, more screaming, more yelling, more, more like just louder paragraphs where I don't shut
[3:01] up. I
[3:02] Emma
[3:03] I don't know, I feel like I talk a lot, though. I feel like you are louder, yeah.
[3:04] Elsie
[3:05] But I'm really, I'm really trying to work on it. I'm trying to work on my interrupting, I'm trying to work on
[3:06] my mouth noises, I'm trying to work on all that promise, but in this episode, like, Disney mom is kind of,
[3:07] kind of me, so this is kind of my episode, and Emma has been to Disney twice, yeah, with guys, so she
[3:08] has some perspectives, and I go like every year, so this is gonna be like a little bit more on me, but I
[3:09] feel like we can still riff, and it's fine.
[3:10] Emma
[3:11] Yeah, because I mean, you've done it with a lot of different ages. I have not, like, I don't know, I feel like
[3:12] there's a lot of things I can't contribute to, other than to interject and interrupt you, which I will do.
[3:13] Elsie
[3:14] Yeah, we went before, before we became moms, we went with our nieces, and that was an incredibly
[3:15] fun experience, and really special. I'm really glad we did it. They were the perfect angels with us. Oh,
[3:16] that's true. Nova was her mom. Nova was a little toddler.
[3:17] Emma
[3:18] I was not a mom yet, but you were a mom.
[3:19] Elsie
[3:20] Before we had kids, we went to the Harry Potter park with Jess Penny. And then, since we have had
[3:21] kids, we've gone about once a year, ish, the entire time, and we do go back and forth, but we mostly go
[3:22] to Disney World in Florida, and we've had all kinds of different experiences. We've had experiences
[3:23] where we went one day, and we also went to Universal. We've had experiences where we stayed for
[3:24] like a whole week. We've had experiences where we were with big groups. We've had experiences
[3:25] where we were all by ourselves. They're all wonderful, it's all great. So I'm just going to kind of give pep
[3:26] talk and some advice, and I do think that I do have, I do think I have Disney wisdom to share, and I am
[3:27] a defender of it. I think it's one of the most magical experiences you can have with kids, but I do think
[3:28] that a lot of the math. Magic lives in your memory of it, and in the moment that you're doing it, it's more
[3:29] like an Olympic sport, like it is hard work on those days, it is very hard work, but then you remember it
[3:30] back later, and it's you only remember the good things.
[3:31] Emma
[3:32] Yeah, I think that's most of your children's childhoods in some ways. I mean, just parenting. don't know.
[3:33] Elsie
[3:34] You're probably right. Okay, so my mindset advice, and alternatively titled How Not to Lose Your, is it is
[3:35] very simple. So one of our best friends, Keely, is a Disney adult, and she also worked at Disney when
[3:36] she was younger, so she told me once, like, and it always stuck with me, the kind of like horror stories
[3:37] of like parents who really lose their at Disney, and it's just so sad. And when you're there, you will see it
[3:38] happen, because there's just so many people with so many kids that it's just inevitable that you're
[3:39] gonna see like someone yelling at a child, and it's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking from every
[3:40] direction, obviously, for the child, but also like they have to live with that afterwards, that they couldn't,
[3:41] like, keep their straight, you know what I mean. So, here's my advice: it's very simple: you don't let
[3:42] Disney defeat you, okay? Like, we go into it. It's kind of like Christmas, actually. I think Christmas and
[3:43] Disney are kind of the same as a mom. Like, this is a high emotion, high magic experience, but a lot of
[3:44] it relies on you to keep the vibes good during the challenging parts, and there will be challenging parts,
[3:45] and like every parent who goes to Disney experiences some kind of thing where there's like a
[3:46] meltdown, there's like just something disappointing or something. The last time we went, I was having
[3:47] my period and I got blood all over my clothes, in, yeah, and I had to walk all like a whole mile all the
[3:48] way back to the hotel, change clothes to procure things that I didn't know I was gonna need, and they
[3:49] weren't really good enough, and then walk all the way back, and then pretend like nothing happened,
[3:50] and go out there, like things like that, all the time, and it's fine, because it has to be, and I feel like that's
[3:51] the part where you have to be mentally tough, and you have to just realize that, like, for these kinds of
[3:52] experiences, like, it's a short amount of time that you have to go through where, like, your kid might
[3:53] have a fit, but you can't have a fit. Okay, so we're going to keep ours together, and the next piece of
[3:54] advice is we do kind of let our kids run the show, so we feed off of their energy, we do what they want to
[3:55] do. We do not ever come in with a big checklist of things that we have to do or that we want to do. Like,
[3:56] I think having one or two things that you, as the parent, wants to do, like if you have a special food, or
[3:57] like when we were at the California Disney, they have this like raspberry macaron, and it was like the
[3:58] most important thing to me in the world that I get this macaron. I would not have had a good trip if I
[3:59] didn't get the macaron, so I did have to get the macaron, but like for the most part everything else we
[4:00] do, I'm gonna like kind of just do what the kids want to do. A lot of times we do the same ride over and
[4:01] over, it's usually the teacups, it's totally fine. I'll do it seven to 10 times if that, if there's not a long line,
[4:02] and that's what they want to do, and that's what makes their day magical. I think that that's fine, and I
[4:03] think it's really good to repeat the things that are working, and to kind of lean into the things that are
[4:04] working, and to skip over, like, if there's like something you really wanted to do, but the line is so
[4:05] enormously long and it's hot, or something like that, just skip it, you know, and try it again later.
[4:06] Emma
[4:07] Butting up against a nap time, or, you know, it's clear someone needs some food, or yeah, whatever.
[4:08] Elsie
[4:09] Just never push your kids, like, don't stay in the line when your kids need to go to the bathroom, don't
[4:10] skip a meal, don't do any of that, just focus on their them having a magical day, and there's plenty of
[4:11] stuff to do in there for everyone, like we spent when we were with Emma, we spent a lot of time doing
[4:12] like things that weren't even rides, it was just like climbing up that giant tree, and then that little, what I
[4:13] don't know what you call it, like that little, like, obstacle kind of park, where you just kind of run around,
[4:14] you, that gets, you know, climb around, yeah. They have all kinds of different things like that for younger
[4:15] kids, there are like things where you can climb and stuff like that, and yeah, standing in long ride lines, I
[4:16] think is like it can be a morale killer, so you have to space them out. Sometimes we go to the park, and
[4:17] we don't even get to go on our favorite ride. And I'm, I'm 100% okay with that. I think that, like, if one of
[4:18] your kids doesn't want to do it, or if the line is too long, or if it's hot, or if I don't know, whatever. Just skip
[4:19] it, just let it be, let it go, and then when you do get to do it, whatever, it'll be even better. Okay, so
[4:20] favorite things to do in traditions. So we have a couple things we like to do, the little kids' stuff, for as
[4:21] long as they will. I just think it's magical and beautiful. So we do usually spend a lot of time in the part of
[4:22] the park that has like the Peter Pan ride and the merry-go-round the carousel and the rides like that,
[4:23] like, and we always go on Small World. That's definitely a tradition. We always get every kind of snack
[4:24] possible. I think that's a great tradition. Why wouldn't you, it's fun. I think that's like kind of like a thing
[4:25] that's good for the parents. Morale actually is to keep the snacks going.
[4:26] Emma
[4:27] Don't skip your coffee in the morning, make sure you have an emergency granola bar with you.
[4:28] Elsie
[4:29] Yeah, and then yeah, our favorite tradition is so we do the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique with our princess
[4:30] daughter, because we have one daughter that identifies as a princess and one daughter who never
[4:31] wants to be a princess. So the princess daughter, she, like, she is always going in that boutique until
[4:32] she decides she is too old for it. It's just such a big deal to her. It's kind of like as good as Christmas, so
[4:33] I'll always do that. And then when we were there recently, and she was getting her hair done, it's like a
[4:34] salon for children, it's so cute, and the lady was like doing her hair. She told her, "Oh, well, the only
[4:35] other boutique where you've never been to is the one in Paris. So now she has it in her mind, but she
[4:36] has to go to the one in Paris, and I'm like, can we really.. I think we can maybe really make that happen.
[4:37] We'll see.
[4:38] Emma
[4:39] Yeah. Oh, probably
[4:40] Elsie
[4:41] That is really magical, whether you're with kids or not. I think you.. I think it's good to like try to get as
[4:42] many snacks as you can, like every single.. and I think it's good to have a checklist, but also like don't
[4:43] worry about it if you miss something. So, I personally think that the food at Disney is like, I personally
[4:44] definitely think it's overhyped. Like, the way that people make it seem on social media is like it's the
[4:45] best food in the world, and like, that's fine if, if you really feel.. I do kind of feel that way about that one
[4:46] macaron in Jolly Holiday, so I can go there, I guess. But I think a lot of it is just normal, like fair food, like
[4:47] food you would get at any fair. It was like really good popcorn, really good churros, like that's fine. Get a
[4:48] smoothie or something, like whatever. The pineapple whip, or I guess they call it Dole Whip at Disney,
[4:49] thus sherbet, that's sherbet. I don't know, I, I personally don't like sherbet that much, but if they have a
[4:50] different flavor besides pineapple, I'll try it. What else? The restaurants, I think, what I've.. okay, so my
[4:51] opinion about the restaurant reservations is that the ones that have the characters that come and talk to
[4:52] you are the most worth it for kids, and if they don't have a character that comes and talks to you, it's
[4:53] like, to me, kind of not as worth it. It's, it's worth it if it's good for you, like my husband, I, we kind of just
[4:54] like need to be in the air conditioning in the dark for an hour, and that is nice, like in and of itself,
[4:55] depending on the time of year, if it's like hot or whatever, you can kind of get like a shady break, but
[4:56] yeah, I think that the ones that have the characters are the really good ones, so the Beauty and the
[4:57] Beast one, and then there's this one in Epcot, the one that's next to Froze, the Frozen Ride, that's the
[4:58] best restaurant we've ever been in. It had the most princesses, and it was just like the most crazy. Have
[4:59] you ever had any really good food at a Disney park? My kid doesn't really eat, but you haven't. Okay,
[5:00] just the macaron.
[5:01] Emma
[5:02] No, but I will say you should talk a little bit about your Disney planner. I think that's a question a lot of
[5:03] people, I think, have is like, should I use a planner or should I just do it myself? Do I need a planner?
[5:04] What do they even do for you? So, like, yeah, and you have a really good one, so you can even
[5:05] recommend her, because she was great. She would fix something for us the day of, and, like, you
[5:06] know.
[5:07] Elsie
[5:08] Yes. Email me anytime, Elsie@abeautifulmess.com and I will connect you with my Disney planner, only
[5:09] just because I don't know her email off top of my head. Her name is Whitney. She's one of my friends
[5:10] from Nashville, and she has planned all of our Disney trips for more than five years, and she's just great
[5:11] because she, like, she makes you an itinerary. She also planned our Universal trip when we did, like,
[5:12] the Harry Potter thing for Nova's birthday, so she can do all of that stuff, and she does cruises, so
[5:13] anything like that. I like the planner, because so the thing they do is they book your tickets, they book
[5:14] your hotel room, and then they book all of your like restaurants and like the boutique, anything like that,
[5:15] that you have to have a reservation. In for, and she can kind of suggest things that you might not have
[5:16] been aware of, because the Disney planners are nerds, like they know everything, and that's just not a
[5:17] thing that most of us have space for in our brains, or like, want to learn, you know? Like, I would never
[5:18] be one of those people that's like reading all the Disney blogs, like it's just not like something I care
[5:19] about in that way, so I really appreciate getting the advice. So, yeah, she knows like everything about
[5:20] like the parades and just like anything you can possibly need. She has some kind of little hack for it. I
[5:21] remember when we did the Harry Potter park, she like told us this like very specific little hidden detail
[5:22] that she'll watch for, and we found it, and that was kind of special. So, yeah, no, I thought she was great
[5:23] too.
[5:24] Emma
[5:25] We had this little issue, like the first day we were in the parks, and we text her, and she fixed it right
[5:26] away for us, like while we were in line. So, I think it's also really valuable to have someone who can
[5:27] help you with something like that, because when you're traveling, you're like, you're kind of doing a lot
[5:28] of things, you like have all your kids' snacks in your bag, and you're like thinking about the last time
[5:29] they went to the bathroom, and you're going through this line and checking the maps. So, just like, if
[5:30] something goes wrong, it's nice to have a person where you can be like, "Hey, they said my tickets for
[5:31] next week, what? That wasn't our issue, but like, whatever the thing is, they can, you know, fix them for
[5:32] you, which is great. Yes, another about staying at the resort versus not. Have you guys always stayed
[5:33] at Disneyland resorts, or have you sometimes stayed at a different hotel or different Airbnb?
[5:34] Elsie
[5:35] Yeah, so we've stayed at Airbnbs, and we've, we did do a family vacation once to Disney with Jeremy's
[5:36] family, where we stayed at an Airbnb, and then we have stayed at the parks resorts a bunch of times,
[5:37] and I would always stay at the park if you can, because you can walk, and that for me, that's just in the
[5:38] trolley. I really like at in Florida, how they have the water trolleys. My kids really enjoy it. It's just really
[5:39] fun, like you can take these little water boats to go to the downtown Disney, where you usually would
[5:40] like eat dinner or whatever, and then the parks, you can sometimes take the water trolleys, and
[5:41] sometimes you take little busses, and that is all really great. And yeah, I find that the Disney hotels are..
[5:42] I mean, obviously, I don't know what the price comparison is, but maybe it's a lot more, but I just like
[5:43] having it all. I like to be very contained, so we don't even get a car, we just get a shuttle, you know, go
[5:44] straight there, we do our thing, we don't see anybody, we don't do anything, we don't add anything on,
[5:45] we just do that, and then we go home, and I think that was kind of a nice way to do it when your kids
[5:46] are little, and it like tore my heart in two to be near Los Angeles and not see my friends, like it was very
[5:47] hard to not tell them we were coming, but I couldn't, because it's just, it's, it is a time for the kids, and
[5:48] there really was no extra bandwidth at all, so that's also why I like going to Florida better, because we
[5:49] don't have any friends who live in Orlando directly, and I don't feel as guilty anyway. Okay, this is a great
[5:50] tip. So, if your kids have a favorite character, let them wear a costume to the park, so I think there's like
[5:51] a rule that like adults aren't supposed to wear costumes, but kids can wear as many costumes as they
[5:52] want every single day, doesn't matter. And the last time we went, Nova wore her Peter Pan costume,
[5:53] which was kind of a big deal for her, because she's a pretty shy kid, and she is not like on like her
[5:54] theme days at school, she always like doesn't want to do it, because she's not sure if other people are
[5:55] going to do it, and like all that, so she got the Peter Pan costume on, and she went into the park, and
[5:56] then we went on the ride, and they let us have an extra ride on the Peter Pan ride, which is like the very
[5:57] longest line, and it was so special for her, and it made her feel like a hero. It made her day was a hero.
[5:58] Yeah, it was just so cute. And then Marigold had an aurora costume, knows what she chose at the
[5:59] boutique. This time it's like a wedding dress shop for children. It is so unhinged in there. You like, if you
[6:00] haven't been, you're gonna love it.
[6:01] Emma
[6:02] They should hand the parents a champagne flute.
[6:03] Elsie
[6:04] Yes, your kid, yes, they do have like two costumes for little boys too, if you're curious about all that. And
[6:05] our daughter, who is not into princesses the first time we went, she chose a boys costume, and also
[6:06] they thought that was great, and they made that perfect. It was like a knight's costume, and she loved it,
[6:07] and she felt so cool about herself. She looked cool. I saw the picture, yeah, she got her portraits done,
[6:08] and it was just adorable, but yeah, Marigold got her Aurora, Aurora costume on, and then she saw
[6:09] Aurora in the street, and she started chasing her, and then there was another little, even smaller Aurora
[6:10] that was also chasing, and it was like one of my favorite moments, just because it's so cute when they
[6:11] get to meet their character and they're wearing the same costume, so always let your kids wear a
[6:12] costume if they want to. It's so worth it. I love it.
[6:13] Emma
[6:14] What about.. okay, so what if your kids are nap age, they still do a nap? What advice you have on that?
[6:15] How do you make that work? Because you know, I feel like there's an age where you can start skipping
[6:16] the nap and it's not necessarily a big deal, and there's some ages we're like, no, you can't really skip
[6:17] the nap, and then there's some ages where, like, they don't nap anymore, so you got your whole day,
[6:18] you know. So, but what do you do with the nap if you're still in that zone?
[6:19] Elsie
[6:20] Okay, so when our kids were that young, we never wanted to go back to the hotel. If you want to go
[6:21] back to the hotel, take a few hours and come back later, then you should. I think that you'd want to
[6:22] probably, or yeah, whatever. That's probably a great idea, but we just.. my husband's a little averse to
[6:23] like the transits and all that, and the lines and stuff, and he just didn't want to do that. So, what Whitney
[6:24] recommended, she would just tell us, like the quietest places, and we would just do stroller naps. So, I
[6:25] know there's like some kind of place with like portraits of presidents, and there's some kind of a Star
[6:26] Wars place. There's like a couple places like that that are just kind of dark, where it's air conditioned,
[6:27] and you can just kind of sit in there, kind of just sit by a wall and play with your phone, and your kids in
[6:28] a quiet place, and they can take a stroller nap if they will, and then you can just move on with your day
[6:29] without, like, having to leave, yeah, like do all the lines over again, and whatever.
[6:30] Emma
[6:31] And what do your kids talk about from their Disney trips? Like, what are the things that they, you know,
[6:32] because probably the things that are special to you are probably special to them, but, like, you know, I
[6:33] feel like Marigold talks about bibbity bobbity boutique, but like, what else is there, the things that, when
[6:34] they talk about their trip, they're like, we did this, you know, or whatever.
[6:35] Elsie
[6:36] So, I honestly think I think all I think this is just human behavior across the board for all of us. But I think
[6:37] the kids remember the things that we put in the photo book. Yeah, so it is absolutely essential that you
[6:38] make at least a small photo book after every trip, put it on the shelf, and they will remember it, they will
[6:39] just instantly remember all the good times. Yeah, I like to use the artifact uprising books, and you can
[6:40] make them on your phone, it's super easy, there's nothing to it, there's no downside. Then it just comes
[6:41] in the mail, and it's done, and that's that. And I think they're great, but yeah, our kids, they definitely
[6:42] have memories, but so the thing in one of my favorite nonfiction books is The Power of Moments by
[6:43] Chip Heath and Dan Heath, and in that book they explain how novelty experiences are more
[6:44] memorable than repeat experiences, so if you want your kids to remember something, you kind of
[6:45] should go there only once. Like we went recently on a weekend trip to Arkansas, it was not that
[6:46] planned, it was not that special, it was not that expensive. There was nothing about it that was that big
[6:47] of a deal. I was in the middle of revising my book, and I was having a little emo time, and my husband
[6:48] was like, "You need a break, let's just take a one night, you know? And it's like, you drive two hours. We
[6:49] went to the art museum, we stayed in a nice hotel, we got sushi. Then we came home. The kids talk
[6:50] about that trip and remember it so vividly, because it's a place we've never been, and it's a novelty
[6:51] experience for them, but if we go there two or three more times, that won't happen anymore. So I guess
[6:52] the, I guess the thing about that to apply to Disney, if you're, if you do want to go back year after year, is
[6:53] to save some of your, like, to do like a different restaurant, or do like one new thing each time, and
[6:54] that's easy to do at Disney, like there's there's always going to be something new, like a ride that's just
[6:55] opened, or whatever, that you can do with them.
[6:56] Emma
[6:57] I hear that a lot from parents that I feel like you're either a parent who, like, we go every year or every
[6:58] other year, or you're a parent who's like, I'm going to do this one time, and we're going to do it all the
[6:59] way, I'm gonna find the tips and do it the best we can, and that's it. And those parents are usually like,
[7:00] and I'm waiting until all the kids will have a memory of it. So the youngest one has to be old enough that
[7:01] they can remember things, which also usually means they're kind of at a nap zone or close.
[7:02] Elsie
[7:03] I respect that, but I feel like that it would be too much pressure for me, and I take comfort in let the
[7:04] method that we don't have to do everything, that no individual thing matters if we skip it, and so I really
[7:05] like that. So I don't know, I guess you could still apply that, even if you only go one time, but yeah, I. Not
[7:06] want to be like the checklist parent, and I just think that, like, you don't want to put too much pressure.
[7:07] It's the same as Christmas, like I have a breakdown every single Christmas because I'm a perfectionist,
[7:08] and I want it to be insane, and I always want to be better than any other Christmas before, so it gets
[7:09] harder every year, and it's a trap, but if you just change your mindset, like that's the only problem. If you
[7:10] realize that, like, the problem is my mind, then it's a fixable problem, right? All right. Well, I hope that
[7:11] this was helpful. Talking about all the Disney stuff, it's magical, it's fun. Buy your kids a little souvenir.
[7:12] We like to save our one souvenir for the last day, and it's like a one toy kind of thing. Yeah, like I just
[7:13] don't, I think just like enjoy it, just let it be a magical day. And I think the part of that is your mindset of
[7:14] like not needing for it to be too perfect, not needing for it to go a certain way. However, it happens is
[7:15] great, and just kind of like let your kids tell you which, you know, point out which thing they want to do,
[7:16] and just go for it. Do it, okay? So, we have a listener question from Erin.
[7:17] Emma
[7:18] Yes, Erin says, I'm curious, if you find yourself making friends through your children's school and
[7:19] activities, or if you don't, How do you feel about that? As a fellow suburban mom, formerly urban
[7:20] non-mom, it's been a bit of a shock how many other parents socialize only with parents of their kids'
[7:21] friends, and how my adult social life affects my kids' level of inclusion. Whoo, that's a toughie.
[7:22] Elsie
[7:23] Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. My suburban mom years.. I only did two school years in the suburbs, and it was
[7:24] like two of the hardest years of my life, and I was very depressed. So I think I did, like, at one point I like
[7:25] dove into her.. I was like, it sucked, you know, kind of thing, but like, for the most, whatever. I don't
[7:26] consider us living in a suburb right now, because we live in the middle of town. Yeah, neither one of us,
[7:27] we live in town. It's definitely not a suburb, and it doesn't feel like it. And our children go to a Title One
[7:28] school, and it is a normal public school. So I have made friends with the other parents, but I will say it's
[7:29] like a low-pressure situation. So, at our school, after school, there is an option for your kid to kind of like
[7:30] be let out. They can be let out in the car line, they can ride the bus, or they can be let out onto the
[7:31] playground to play, and we do the playground method. So every single day, even in the winter, I walk
[7:32] into the schoolyard and sit and talk to the other moms and dads, and it's fun, and I've made a bunch of
[7:33] friends with people in our neighborhood who, like, I have surprisingly a lot in common with, more than I
[7:34] thought I would, and it's great. So I think that being open to those situations is good, but I will say, in my
[7:35] suburb, I also had some experiences where I felt like extremely out of place. I felt like I was never going
[7:36] to be able to be included. It was very, like, almost crying right now. It, like, was horrible. And if you're
[7:37] having that experience, that's okay too. It doesn't have to be your friend group. The school moms don't
[7:38] have to be your only friend group. There's lots of.. I think, for I will die on this hill. Like, if you want adult
[7:39] friends, join a book club. I think book clubs are the best place to find friends who have something in
[7:40] common with you, because you already have reading, which is such a big thing. Yeah, what are your
[7:41] experiences?
[7:42] Emma
[7:43] I mean, I think that, so our kids are really little, so my oldest is still in pre K, so he has one more year of
[7:44] pre K, because we're doing kind of next year, because he has a summer birthday, blah blah. So,
[7:45] anyway, so I think it might be different, so I guess my stories are, so we have one friend who is kind of
[7:46] like Oscar's soccer friend. Oh yeah, and we always get them on the same soccer team when we do
[7:47] soccer. We usually do soccer at least one season a year, sometimes two. We did it two one year, and I
[7:48] feel like at this point, so it used to be that that was his best friend at daycare, and then it ended up this
[7:49] friend, I'm not saying his name, because I don't, yeah, this friend went to a different daycare, and now
[7:50] he's going to a different, he's starting kindergarten, he's going to a different school, and at this point I
[7:51] feel like Oscar and this friend, like they're still buddies, but they're almost kind of like, oh yeah, he's my
[7:52] friend, and it's like more that we're friends with the parents, and we just like them. I also am kind of a
[7:53] mom who is gonna sound however it sounds, so you decide, but I sort of am like looking at families as
[7:54] a whole thing, and I'm kind of like, who's I like parents who are involved with their kids. Yes, I'm like
[7:55] that's a good situation. If you seem like you care about your kids and you're involved in their life, you
[7:56] know, then that's great. That's kind of like the type of friend I want my kid to have, because then I feel
[7:57] like I'm going to be able to talk to those parents if some kind of situation came up. Also, just.. just this is
[7:58] just a straight up logistical thing, but like when some parents, I try to set up a play date, and they're just
[7:59] very, very flaky, or very, very hard to pin down. It's tough when my son is like, "I love this person, I'm out
[8:00] with them, and I'm like, "Yeah, buddy, we'll see. I don't ever say to him, but to me, I'm kind of like,
[8:01] "That's never gonna happen, because their parents are flaky. Like, you are never gonna see them
[8:02] outside of this situation, because they never text me back.
[8:03] Elsie
[8:04] That happens sometimes.
[8:05] Emma
[8:06] And I don't know if it's like they don't want to hang out with me. I try to never take anything personal
[8:07] unless someone makes it personal, and you know, I just think like they're probably busy, maybe they're
[8:08] not good at texting, maybe they're not, you know, that's fine, whatever. But, like, you know, I feel like my
[8:09] kid kind of ends up hanging out with outside of his daycare, pre-K parents who we like and get along
[8:10] with, and who text back, and that's just sort of the reality of it, and so I am always like hoping that he
[8:11] makes friends with someone who, like, their parents happen to fit that bill, because I'm like, I can't do
[8:12] anything if they never text me back, so I just don't know what to tell you, but like, you'll never see them,
[8:13] because I just can't get ahold of their parents. Yeah, so there's that. And then the one other thing I'll say
[8:14] is, so kids' birthday parties, to know them is to hate them, am I right? So it's just a lot, and I would prefer
[8:15] if our kid didn't want to do a friend party, or didn't even know that that was a possibility, but he went to
[8:16] one, and then he just loved it, and he's just a very social guy, and I just see how much he lights up at
[8:17] being around his friends, and so we do a friend party, we've done it now two years, you know, he had it
[8:18] when he was four, now he's had it when he was five, and it means a lot to me when other parents bring
[8:19] their kid, because that's something they had to plan for, and we don't do gifts at our party, but it's just
[8:20] they had to plan to bring their kid to this giant play date, and we all stand around and talk about what
[8:21] we do for a living, or whatever, and I just appreciate it, and so we, my partner, I, we always try to make
[8:22] an effort when we get invited to other kid parties, especially if they came to ours. We really make an
[8:23] effort to be there, because I think making a kid's birthday is special is a thing, and you know, if your kid
[8:24] has a birthday party and no one shows up, that stings. And so, as much as we can make it happen, we
[8:25] try to prioritize going to other kids' birthday parties, and you know, as an adult, sometimes it's like,
[8:26] because we, the age of our kids, we kind of have to split up, so it's like one of us takes them to the
[8:27] party and the other one's with the other kids, so they can nap or whatever, and I have been in multiple
[8:28] situations, and so has my husband, we are kind of around a whole bunch of other adults that you don't
[8:29] know at all, and that's not really how I would like to spend my weekend, if I'm being honest, but it's not
[8:30] for me. And when it's like a kid's birthday party, I'm like, I want this to, we're coming because I want that
[8:31] kid to have a special day, because I want my kid to have a special day, and it's a do unto others type
[8:32] situation to me, and if you can't make it happen, and you know you're out of town, or whatever, that
[8:33] happens too, it's not a big deal, but that's just kind of my one little, like, we really try to make that
[8:34] happen, because it means a lot to our kid and people come to his party, and you know, I just see how
[8:35] much it means to him, so there you go, so you've ever had to stand around me and make awkward
[8:36] small talk, you know how bad I am at it, but I'm doing my best. So, here we are.
[8:37] Elsie
[8:38] Hell yeah. No, it's just.. it's a part of life, I think. That making adult friendships is a combination, a 5050
[8:39] split, let's say, of having low expectations and also putting forth a little bit of effort. So, like, if you want
[8:40] to be friends with someone, invite them to something, just try it, just see, just try, just invite them, and
[8:41] see if it works out, and if it, you know, if it doesn't, if it fizzles, if whatever, you know, that's fine, like it's
[8:42] like, you know, whatever, at least you tried, and you can try again later, and I think having low
[8:43] expectations is kind of always good in adult friendships, because I don't think there's really.. I don't
[8:44] meet very many people who have like high-pressure friendships in their 30s or 40s, like I certainly don't.
[8:45] I'm just kind of chilling, and if everyone wants to be friends, great. You know what I mean? Like, let's do
[8:46] it, but I'm not gonna like stress about anything.
[8:47] Emma
[8:48] Yeah. And I think if you have friends that are just basically like your kids' friends and you're hanging out
[8:49] with the parents, and it's not a relationship that you want to be any deeper than that, I think that's okay.
[8:50] It's fine. That's fine. They might feel the same way. Yeah, that's fine. It's a. Big deal, like, just, you know,
[8:51] find a few commonalities you can talk about. You can already talk about your kids, you can already talk
[8:52] about kids, because you probably all love your kids, so you got that. And if you find one other thing,
[8:53] you're golden. So, see if they're a reader, see if they like TV shows, see if you know, whatever. Just find
[8:54] one more thing, and then I feel like you're good, you've got enough stuff that you can talk for 10 minutes
[8:55] and let your kids play, or whatever.
[8:56] Elsie
[8:57] Yes, beautiful. Okay. Well, we're rooting for you, Erin. We're cheering you on, and I do understand when
[8:58] that stuff is hard. Yeah, it can be like pretty bad. Okay. Book report time, my favorite part.
[8:59] Emma
[9:00] Okay. So, for my book report this week, I have another short story collection for you. It is Her Body and
[9:01] Other Parties by Carmen Maria Muchado. Okay, so I had never read this author before, and I am
[9:02] borderline obsessed. So one thing I'll say is this book is like an award winner. What did it? I'm looking at
[9:03] my picture, National Book Award finalist, and I think it won some other things, or was published in some
[9:04] major things. I don't know. This one doesn't feel very memoiresque. It feels more like everything, as you
[9:05] can probably guess from the title, this lends itself towards stories about women, also stories about
[9:06] women's bodies. Also, it's very feminist, it's also very queer, the author's queer, and she also, she's a
[9:07] writer that does, she does like dystopian future stuff, there's ghost, there's supernatural things, there's
[9:08] science fiction, it's really fun, and she's a gorgeous writer, like just beautiful prose, so inspiring. If you
[9:09] have any interest in writing, you must read her. And this collection, in particular, was gorgeous, but also,
[9:10] if you like dystopian futures, if you like science fiction, if you like supernatural kind of horror bordering
[9:11] into type things, this short story collection will definitely satisfy you, because it was very fun, very
[9:12] feminist, very queer, very weird, very haunting in a beautiful way. I loved it. It was so much fun to read,
[9:13] and I'm definitely going to pick up a novel from her. Is just really good. Can't recommend it enough.
[9:14] Elsie
[9:15] Fun, that sounds really good. Good self. Okay, my book is Famesick by Lena Dunham. So, I read this.
[9:16] Okay, this is one of the two books this year that I finished in 24 hours. So, I feel like when it's one of
[9:17] those, like that is a specific quality of a book where it's just like unput downable, like you cannot stop,
[9:18] and I wasn't even sure I was going to read Famesick, because I have kind of no feelings about Lena
[9:19] Dunham. Normally, when I read a celebrity memoir, it's a celebrity that I'm a big fan, like I haven't even
[9:20] read Cher's memoir yet. I am a big fan of Cher. I usually read memoirs where I'm a big fan, right? I'm
[9:21] the fan girl out, right? And I mean, obviously, I know who Lena Dunham is. I did not read her first
[9:22] memoir. I did not finish Girls. I think I maybe watched one season at the, you know, when it first came
[9:23] out. I didn't like, dislike it, I just didn't. It just wasn't really on my radar, right? I think I read her first
[9:24] memoir. It's really time ago, but I'm pretty sure I did read it. I think I liked it anyway. Yeah, but then I
[9:25] heard that it was, I heard it was really good writing, and I just kept hearing people say it was really
[9:26] good. Also, like, I wasn't like sure I wanted to hear the gossip in it, because I specifically didn't want to
[9:27] hear anything bad about Adam Driver, right? Because I just didn't want to. He's kind of like, you like
[9:28] him, yeah, he's kind of like my birthday twin, and I love him, and we're besties in my mind, you know.
[9:29] But anyway, I went through it, I did it, and we survived. It's okay. Okay, so what I thought about the
[9:30] book, I thought it was absolutely like compulsive. It was absolutely compulsive. I could not stop listening
[9:31] to it. I think it was the weekend when I was listening, so I just like kept going and kept going, and like I
[9:32] just found things around, like when you're when you're finding laundry to fold because you want to keep
[9:33] listening to a book, that's when, yeah, that's a sign.
[9:34] Emma
[9:35] What else can I clean out? I have an audio book, I have, yeah, yeah.
[9:36] Elsie
[9:37] It was incredible, it has obviously has like a ton of famous people stories, like it starts off with like she's
[9:38] in college and she's meeting the Safdie brothers, like chapter one, and it just the whole way through
[9:39] there's a famous person everywhere at all times, which is fun. I like famous people, it's fun, I like
[9:40] celebrities. I just like wasn't really sure I wanted to like hear anything about Jack Anoff or Adam Driver,
[9:41] but those parts did not really change my opinion about them as people, and it wasn't, it wasn't so bad.
[9:42] So, if, if you're averse to that, it doesn't really matter, it's fine. Yeah, it was mostly a book about, you
[9:43] know, her experience and her feelings, going, you know, through the experience. Of being famous from
[9:44] girls, which is like a very specific and unique kind of fame that I've never heard anyone talk about
[9:45] before. There was a lot of heartbreaking things in it. There's a lot of talk about her illness, like she has
[9:46] prolonged illnesses, and those were really brutal. She has a long, very special friendship that ended in,
[9:47] like, a friendship breakup, which that part is really compelling to me, just really relatable and interesting.
[9:48] So, yeah, I thought it was just really fun to read. I would, and I, after this, I would probably read
[9:49] anything she did, like, just complete trust, so because it's great writing, yeah, yeah, just complete trust.
[9:50] She's, she's, does not round, yeah, yeah.
[9:51] Emma
[9:52] I remember liking her first memoir, and yeah, I've seen this on the bestseller, and I was like, oh,
[9:53] because it almost has, I don't know what they're going for with the cover, but almost looks like to me like
[9:54] Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole, you know, it's like legs up in the air on the cover.
[9:55] Elsie
[9:56] Yeah, I perceived it as kind of like Thuy era, which is like the, you know, the 2000 10s like style from
[9:57] that time, you know, but she was definitely, yeah, like you know, very famous during the like the Peter
[9:58] Pan collar, right, which for me is all of life, but yeah, it definitely had a specific moment in the history of
[9:59] fashion, I think, too.
[10:00] Emma
[10:01] Yeah, I like it. Loved, and now it's time for a joke, or a fact, or a meditation with Nova.
[10:02] Elsie
[10:03] Hey, Nova, what do you have for us this week?
[10:04] Nova
[10:05] Another meditation.
[10:06] Elsie
[10:07] A meditation. Okay, I love a meditation. I am crossing my legs, closing my eyes.
[10:08] Nova
[10:09] You're forgetting something. Deep breaths.
[10:10] Nova
[10:11] Yep. Okay. Imagine you just arrived at the pool, you put your towel down, and you got the best,
[10:12] warmest seat by the pool, you get in and the water is just right. You swim some labs around and then
[10:13] you find someone who's really interested, and you talk to them for hours, and once you're done, you get
[10:14] out of the pool, you go and get into your seat, and you relax with a towel on you, and then as you get
[10:15] up to leave, you feel like that was a great day, and you would love to do it again, and so you do, and
[10:16] you do it again and again for the whole week, and then at the end of that week you go home, you feel
[10:17] so sleepy, you get in your coziest pajamas, and you think to yourself that's one of the best days I've
[10:18] ever had, and I need to do that again very soon, and then with the feelings of having a good day's
[10:19] workout, you fall asleep snuggled up in your favorite pajamas, and in your bed. Now let's take a few
[10:20] more deep breaths and open your eyes slowly.
[10:21] Elsie
[10:22] Oh, that was a fun one.
[10:23] Nova
[10:24] I have something to say.
[10:25] Elsie
[10:26] Okay.
[10:27] Nova
[10:28] Is that all these meditations that I do say some of it's made up, but like last week getting ice cream, this
[10:29] week going to the pool, you can do any of those things.
[10:30] Elsie
[10:31] It's true, they're based on true stories.
[10:32] Nova
[10:33] You can make it a good day if you want to, and you can make it how my meditation sound if you want,
[10:34] and I hope some of you get to experience that this summer.
[10:35] Elsie
[10:36] I love that. That is a wonderful wish.
[10:37] Nova
[10:38] I hope you have a wonderful week. Bye.
[10:39] Elsie
[10:40] So we did not have any hot takes a chance week, so if you want to send us one, email us your hottest
[10:41] hot take. Make sure you word it super mean, because that makes it more fun.
[10:42] Podcast@abeautifulmess.com and we will hopefully talk about it on a future episode. All right, we'll see
[10:43] you next week.

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