# #290: Life Changing Mindset Shifts

An episode of [A Beautiful Mess Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1485472892), 9 Mar 2026, 38 min.

Audio: https://mgln.ai/e/498/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/abmpodcast/ABM_EP290_Final.mp3?dest-id=1624655

This week, we're talking about mindset shifts that changed our lives. Sometimes, before your life can change, your perspective has to change first. We're also doing a rapid fire hot take debate with a bunch of listener submitted hot takes. Thank you to this week's sponsor: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/abm Mindset Shifts: • What's the best that could happen? • Why not me? • Cheer for yourself like you would others • Practice being an optimist • We overestimate what we can get done in a day but we underestimate what we can get done in a year • Learn to see patterns, possibilities and opportunities You can support us by leaving us a couple of 5 star recipe reviews this week at abeautifulmess.com Have a topic idea for the podcast? Write in to us at podcast@abeautifulmess.com or leave us a voicemail at 417-893-0011.

## Transcript

[0:00] Elsie
[0:01] You're listening to the a beautiful mess podcast. Your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Elsie Larson.
[0:02] Emma
[0:03] And I'm Emma Chapman.
[0:04] Elsie
[0:05] This week, we're talking about mindset shifts that changed our lives. Sometimes, before your life can
[0:06] change, your perspective has to change first. We're also doing a rapid fire hot take debate with a bunch
[0:07] of listener submitted hot takes. I'm so excited about this episode. Yeah, so Okay, before we begin, I got
[0:08] an email from Meredith, and I want to just like, read her email, because it like it warmed my heart, and I
[0:09] feel like it's like a group activity that we're all gonna do. Okay, from Meredith, I'm a longtime fan of the
[0:10] podcast, and really appreciate y'all's perspective on creativity and hobbies you have helped me let go
[0:11] of so much weird guilt and shame that I used to have around quitting hobbies that I was once excited
[0:12] about. Thank you for giving me permission to move on when projects I thought were going to become
[0:13] my whole personality. Parentheses, watercolor, wheel, pottery, block printing. The list goes on. Stop
[0:14] becoming interesting. I think maybe exploring new hobbies is my actual hobby. This is one of my
[0:15] favorite emails we've gotten. I feel like this. This is what I want to put out in the world, and it feels so
[0:16] good.
[0:17] Emma
[0:18] I love it. Couldn't love it more. And I also love the idea of like someone be like, so what's your hobby?
[0:19] And you're like, I try new hobbies this week. I'm knitting. I love it. I would be like, Oh, I understand you
[0:20] immediately. I feel like so many people would be like, let's talk, because I'm the same. Like, yes, yeah,
[0:21] yes. So yeah, sometimes just trying is the best part of something, and that's okay, yeah.
[0:22] Elsie
[0:23] Okay. So we're going to talk this week about life changing mindset shifts. So we have about like, five or
[0:24] six different mindset shifts to share. I think that, you know, sometimes, like, you have to rewire your own
[0:25] brain. You know, no one's going to do it for you. I think this is so valuable and like, I don't know. I don't
[0:26] want this episode to become preachy, because I also think that, like, do what's good for you, yeah. And,
[0:27] like, whatever, leave the rest. You know how yoga teachers always say, take what resonates with you
[0:28] and leave the rest?
[0:29] Emma
[0:30] Yeah, exactly. And I'm always like, good. I'm not stretching that far. This down dog is too much for me.
[0:31] My wrists hurt. No, he's kidding, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. And, I mean, I think it's like impossible not to be
[0:32] preachy about things that you're excited about and believe in. But that doesn't mean that other people
[0:33] have to be. Like, if it works for you, great, if it doesn't do something else, that's fine. And in my mind too,
[0:34] like, these are very much like shifts. If you need to completely rewire your brain. You might, you might,
[0:35] you might consider therapy. I have loved therapy. I think it's super helpful. But like we're talking about,
[0:36] kind of like, to me, these are sort of small, like, something's kind of bothering me, and I keep getting
[0:37] myself down about it, and now I'm going to shift my attention. I'm going to shift my thoughts on it to
[0:38] something more positive, more productive. It's going to help me move past that and, like, just live a little
[0:39] happier, a little more joy filled. So all right, we're going to go back and forth. So what is your first
[0:40] mindset shift?
[0:41] Elsie
[0:42] It's what's the best that could happen? So this simple, like, I think we all, we all like, are hard wired to
[0:43] think what could go wrong. And that's natural. I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking of the
[0:44] best the worst case scenario, because I think it's just like human nature, it's normal. So, yeah, don't
[0:45] beat yourself up if you automatically think about how things could go wrong. Like, that's fine. Like, that's
[0:46] part of our our nature, you know, is like realizing that there's risk, and analyzing the risk and deciding if
[0:47] it's worth it or not. And you know, like they say, like that, part of your brain keeps you safe from injuries
[0:48] and death. So, you know, there's nothing wrong with that, but I think also always taking the time to
[0:49] imagine the best case scenario is so powerful, and it's something that I know. I never heard anyone
[0:50] say, What's the best that could happen until recently, and our friend Katie Day says it kind of like every
[0:51] day, so kind of constantly. Maybe that should be like her next book title. What's the best that could
[0:52] happen? That'd be good. Okay? Copyright. Never mind. You're like, you cannot copyright a book title,
[0:53] but.
[0:54] Emma
[0:55] Not when you're just talking about on a podcast and you haven't written anything. No, that's not
[0:56] allowed.
[0:57] Elsie
[0:58] Anyway, this is the exercise that like you must do this. You must do this to be a dreamer. And I think
[0:59] taking the time to imagine the best case scenario playing out like that is positive visualization. Like,
[1:00] that's what they mean when they say manifesting and positive visualization, like, just like imagining your
[1:01] like, wildest dream happening to you in a way that feels real in your body will change your life full stop.
[1:02] Emma
[1:03] Yeah. It's also like, just fun. It's fun to imagine the best case scenario. And here's my challenge, you
[1:04] don't even have to believe that it will happen. Just do it for the fun of it. I love to, like, go on a walk in my
[1:05] neighborhood and think about, like, what's the so I'm about to take Oscar to Disneyland for the first
[1:06] time, and there could be some things that go wrong, and those have occurred to me, I'm a mom who's
[1:07] not, you know, I've been doing this for a minute now, and it's occurred to me that there are some things
[1:08] that can go wrong on this trip, yeah, but you know, what's more fun is if I walk around thinking about,
[1:09] what's the best thing that could happen? Yeah? Like, what could how could our schedule go where it's
[1:10] like, going to be the most fun possible and like, what are like, cute things that he might say, and it's not
[1:11] that I even am trying to make that happen. I think he can have whatever reaction he's going to have.
[1:12] That's great. I'm happy with it, but it's just fun to picture the best case scenarios. And it doesn't mean
[1:13] that I'm not going to pack in case some of those bad things happen. I've got the backup granola bar just
[1:14] in case of emergencies, but I'm going to visualize and think about and spend my time kind of like
[1:15] thinking of the best things that might happen on this trip. And this is like a very small example. You can
[1:16] do this in your marriage, in your career, in whatever, in your creative life, just thinking about the best
[1:17] thing that might happen is fun, even if you don't want to believe that it's going to happen, just do it as a
[1:18] fun little Daydream exercise.
[1:19] Elsie
[1:20] I actually think Disneyland is a great like metaphor, like taking your kids to Disneyland is a great
[1:21] metaphor for life, because when the parents are so divided on whether or not they think it's quote,
[1:22] unquote, worth it and like it. It's really interesting to hear people's like, takes about it. It's just really,
[1:23] yeah, it's fascinating. But I'm on Team who gives a I'm also on team who gives. I will take my kids to
[1:24] Disneyland as many times as I have a chance to and we will do we will have good days and bad days,
[1:25] and we will have meltdowns. That's what the strollers for. And we will go back to our hotel early and
[1:26] take a nap, and we'll go to the pool to reset, and we'll have, you know, we'll have a snack when we
[1:27] need a snack. And, you know, God forbid, poop and barf. Like, you know what I mean.
[1:28] Emma
[1:29] I've been pooped on, I've been barfed on. I'm not afraid.
[1:30] Elsie
[1:31] To me, it's the best part. The highlights of it are the only parts that I remember later on. Actually, there's
[1:32] a few epic, like bad moments that we, like, to me and my husband like to talk about for sure, for the hell
[1:33] of it, but yeah, overall, you mainly remember the good stuff. And that's what they remember for sure.
[1:34] Emma
[1:35] Well, and like, to me too, I could feel myself. That's why I use it as an example, kind of being like, Oh
[1:36] no. What if our flight gets in late, we miss part of it. Oh no. What if he just, like, doesn't sleep in the
[1:37] hotel. He has a little bit of a time with sleep, blah, blah. And I could just feel myself going there. And I
[1:38] was like, Emma, what's the best that could happen? Yeah. And also, like, you're going on a trip to have
[1:39] fun with your son. Let's just visualize some fun things that you might do with him on this trip. And it
[1:40] doesn't even matter if they're like, perfectly Disney or whatever. It doesn't, it's just like, let's have fun.
[1:41] Let's make some core memories together. This is the first time I've ever taken my older son just the two
[1:42] of us too. And I just, it's just fun. I'm just excited about it, and I think there's lots of best things that could
[1:43] happen, and I'm no fool. A couple of those bad things are going to happen too, and it's fine. It's going to
[1:44] be great, though, and I'm going to spend my time focused on what's the best that could happen?
[1:45] Elsie
[1:46] Emotional support, corn dog. Let's, in the future do a whole Disney with kids episode, because I'm so
[1:47] passionate about this subject, but I think we need to move on. Okay, so I love it so much. Okay, so why
[1:48] not me? I think that was the title of one of Mindy kaling's books, which her books were really fun. She's
[1:49] awesome. She's wonderful. Anyway, here's the bottom line, if another human person is doing it, why
[1:50] can't I do it? You know what? I mean, really, why can't I? And I'm not talking about becoming an
[1:51] astronaut, like, I'm talking about like it could be anything, you know? I mean, I think there's just so many
[1:52] things in life that we tell ourselves we can't have, we can't do we like, I was raised this way, I you know,
[1:53] I never learned to do that. I didn't go to school. I did like, I made this mistake in my life. Who gives a
[1:54] like? I think that you have to look at other people see what cool, exciting thing they've achieved, and
[1:55] then once in a while, go for it and just like, why not me? Yep, make it happen. I think it's just like, it's
[1:56] proof, like other people in this world live with their house by the ocean. And it's like, if you decide that
[1:57] my goal in life is to live with a house by the ocean, you probably can live with a house by the ocean
[1:58] sometime in your life, you know what I mean? Like any goal is like that the big ones and the small ones.
[1:59] And I think it's just a beautiful thing to accept the possibilities. You know that they're not always just for
[2:00] other people. They're for all of us.
[2:01] Emma
[2:02] I love it. Okay? So one for me is cheer for yourself like you would others. So not everyone is like this. I
[2:03] have a theory that most people are. I think that it is so easy to, like, cheer your friend on when they're
[2:04] trying something new, or encourage your child when you see that they're struggling with something, we
[2:05] just don't do it to ourselves. It's like, all of a sudden that little side of us, like, turns off for some reason,
[2:06] because I will endlessly tell my friends that they can do things and mean it, and, like, give them ideas
[2:07] for how they could get there, or, like, even some kind of help in some way. And then I'll kind of turn it off
[2:08] a little bit, or quiet that cheerleader voice whenever I'm thinking of myself, and it's like, why why not just
[2:09] cheer for yourself in the same way that you would your friends. Why not? Like, you know, just why not?
[2:10] It's you should. And the other part of it too is, I think that whenever we're watching other people do
[2:11] something new or try for their dream or whatever, it's a lot of times easier for us to see that they've got
[2:12] it. Maybe they don't have it right the second. Maybe they're not going to get it today, but like, they'll get
[2:13] it. And we can see that, because we don't have all this emotional connection to it in the way that we do
[2:14] when we do it ourselves. You know, when I'm learning something new, I have all these feelings of, oh,
[2:15] I'm bad at this, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, everybody's seeing that I'm bad at this, and that's
[2:16] embarrassing, you know, like you have all of that, whereas when you're watching a friend do it, or your
[2:17] child do it, or whatever, you don't have that. So you're able to kind of set that aside and be like, yeah, all
[2:18] those things exist, but you got it, you're going to be able to do it. And so it's like, try to do that for
[2:19] yourself. Try to, at times, set aside the feelings of, oh, I'm not good at this, and everyone's seeing that
[2:20] I'm bad at this, or, wow, I had a really bad day. I did a bad job at this thing today. Whoo, you know, like,
[2:21] set those feelings aside for a little bit to tell yourself, yeah, but you got it. You're capable. You've been
[2:22] through worse. You can handle things. You've handled things in the past, and you will be able to do it
[2:23] again, like, just set all the things aside and cheer for yourself like you would someone, someone else,
[2:24] someone you're not connected to, someone you don't have to have the emotions of, because I think it
[2:25] can help you kind of bolster that spirit of, like, all right, I've got to try it again. All right, I'm gonna get
[2:26] back out there, you know? And sometimes that's what you need.
[2:27] Elsie
[2:28] Agree, I love it, love it. Love it. So my next one is practice being an optimist. So one thing about me is I
[2:29] have always wanted to be a cool girl. And I'm not saying I am. I'm saying I've always wanted to be and
[2:30] like the characters in movies like Deb from Empire Records, and Winona Ryder's character in
[2:31] Beetlejuice, you know, those, like cool emo characters, like, that's who I always wanted to be from an
[2:32] early age. So I think that I did develop a habit of, sort of like being negative to try to sound cool, which
[2:33] like, especially in my 20s, I would, like, make fun of people, or, like, sort of like, I don't know, just like, be
[2:34] like, I'm like, I always, I wasn't saying it, but I was acting like I'm too cool for, you know, Twilight, and
[2:35] like, I'm too cool, whatever.
[2:36] Emma
[2:37] No one's too cool for Twilight.
[2:38] Elsie
[2:39] And I wasn't, and I like, not even close. Twilight is a marvel. It's a wonder of the world. And I was
[2:40] missing out. I was robbing myself of pure joy and pleasure in this life. So I don't think there's anything
[2:41] wrong with like, having a cool girl esthetic or veneer. You know, if, like, I'm still, I'm still, like, always
[2:42] gonna be a Donna tart till I die. I love it. It's what I like. But I also want to be a little bit of an Elle Woods
[2:43] character. And, you know, like, like, what? Like, it's hard. Like, it's hard. I just think that practicing being
[2:44] optimistic, you know, practice believing in yourself, publicly, that's embarrassing. That's real
[2:45] embarrassing when you try it for the first time. But it gets easier and easier and eventually, like I say,
[2:46] sometimes the most I mean, the out of touch allegations are true, I will say, but like I say, like, I believe
[2:47] in myself in public in a way that is like, it should be embarrassing, or it could be embarrassing, but when
[2:48] I do it, I realize, like other people around me are just like nodding their heads, like shrugging their
[2:49] shoulders, like, yeah, you know. And I just think that's like, a good way to be in life.
[2:50] Emma
[2:51] What's so wrong with being out of touch? Okay, this one I'm gonna call it. I think I'm just gonna call it
[2:52] like time perspective. So I'm pretty sure this is from Bjork, who does the blog pinch of yam with his wife,
[2:53] and he said this one time on a podcast or wrote it in a blog post. I don't exactly know, but I'm pretty sure
[2:54] it's from him, but it was something to the effect of, we overestimate what we can get done in a day, but
[2:55] we underestimate what we can get done in a year. And the idea is, I feel like we or at least I can, spend
[2:56] a lot of time beating myself up about, like, today, I wanted to get these three things done, and I only got
[2:57] one thing done, and because there were these other things out of my control, or maybe I just had a bad
[2:58] day and I wasted my time, whatever, like, and you can spend a lot of time being like, uh, I'm, you know,
[2:59] not an efficient person, or I must not really want it, or whatever, my life doesn't Let me get things done.
[3:00] You know, whatever narrative you want to do there, but it's like a lot of times we think we can do a lot in
[3:01] one day, and we can only do so much, but if you piece it all together, you can do a whole lot. And I think
[3:02] over time, like once you get older, like we are, I just get once you have enough perspective, you can
[3:03] kind of see how things compound, and you can appreciate that more. So you can see, like, wow, I want
[3:04] to build this thing that's going to take 10 years, and actually 10 years is going to go by, and so I'm just
[3:05] going to work on it and enjoy the day, and know that today might be a really good day, I got a lot done,
[3:06] and tomorrow might be a really bad day, and I didn't get anything done. I had the flu for three days. I got
[3:07] nothing done that's okay, because I'm building something that's going to compound over time, and I'm
[3:08] just going to let it keep going and keep going. And I'm if I have a bad day, I'm going to let that go, pick
[3:09] up the next day and keep going, because I know that it's about this whole thing, and not just like one
[3:10] little season. And you know, I think this can be really helpful mindset shift whenever you're in a season
[3:11] of life that might be slower for whatever reason. You know, for me right now, I'm staying home with my
[3:12] youngest son, and so I'm working a lot less than I'm used to, and I have days where I cry about that
[3:13] because I love working and I miss it, but I also really try to shift my mind in those moments and be like,
[3:14] it's okay to have feelings about it. The feelings are fine. Always have feelings when you want to have
[3:15] feelings, but what I truly believe is I'm going to get a lot done in my career. And this isn't even like a bad
[3:16] time for me. This is just a slower time for me because I'm doing something else that's really important,
[3:17] but over the course of my whole time, like this new chapter that I'm starting right now, I'm going to get
[3:18] tons done, and I'm not worried about it, and it's okay if I miss working right now, it's okay to have those
[3:19] feelings, but it's not true that I'm not headed somewhere great and I'm not worried about it, and I'm
[3:20] gonna just take what I can get and enjoy my son the rest of time. And that's that it's kind of just like
[3:21] accepting. I guess it's a little bit of an accepting thing with a recognition that, like a lot can happen if you
[3:22] give it enough time.
[3:23] Elsie
[3:24] I love it. It's kind of like how people always say overnight success takes about 10 years. Yeah. Like,
[3:25] that's like the truth and like the person who it's their lived experience is the only one who remembers
[3:26] that stuff, because it's just not an interesting part of the process for other people, you know, like, yeah.
[3:27] Emma
[3:28] Part of the movie that's like, and then I did all this, and then they start the movie, you know, it's like, the
[3:29] beginning part that like, we skip past anyway.
[3:30] Elsie
[3:31] Okay, so my last one is, learn to see patterns, possibilities, opportunities. So this is a thing you can train
[3:32] your brain to do in life, is just to see life through a lens of opportunity. And so many of the things that we
[3:33] tried and did in life that really worked for us were random, little like blips in time where it was, like, I
[3:34] could see a pattern of, like, something that was about to blow up, or, you know, like when we made our
[3:35] first app. That's always my best example, because our first app was our most life changing experience
[3:36] that we ever had. I just like her. I remember it was like our I had my first or second iPhone, and I had
[3:37] just apps had just launched, and then I heard someone say that people could make apps, which I didn't
[3:38] know. I at first thought they were all from Apple, yeah, I thought it was just like a part of the phone,
[3:39] right? So that was new information. And then my brain was instantly like, what if I make an app, and we
[3:40] were so early to the game, I truly believe that was the main reason we were successful at that because
[3:41] we were so much earlier than everyone else. And by the time, usually early, yes, by the time most
[3:42] people were making apps, we were on our second or third or fourth and the market was more
[3:43] saturated, and it was more challenging. But on the first one, it was real easy, and it was, yeah, it was
[3:44] completely life changing. So I think, like learning to look all around you for these little emerging patterns
[3:45] and opportunities, like when you learn to look for it, you will find them. And obviously you don't have to
[3:46] jump on every single one, but I think selecting a few and taking those risks, like taking those gambles in
[3:47] life. It changed our life. And I like, I just think it's an exciting way to live.
[3:48] Emma
[3:49] Yeah, and I think it is a slight shift in some ways, from like, I think a lot of times we're sort of taught
[3:50] when we're young, like, you should have a dream and go after it and never stop until you get that
[3:51] dream, you know, or something like that. And this is sort of like a slight shift from that. It's like, well,
[3:52] what if your dream is to have a creative job? Now you can just look for any opportunity to do that, and it
[3:53] might come in a number of different ways. Yeah. Whereas if you narrowly decide, I'm going to do this
[3:54] one thing, then you're kind of going to end up probably ignoring opportunities that sort of come your
[3:55] way, because you're trying to narrowly do this one thing. And so I think it's like, kind of an opening
[3:56] yourself up to what the universe might bring to you. You know, looking for the opportunities, it's being
[3:57] open, yes, definitely. I think being willing to respond to opportunities that pop up and just sort of like,
[3:58] pluck them out of the air, put it in your pocket. Yeah, I will do that. Sign me up.
[3:59] Elsie
[4:00] Yep, it's a beautiful way to be, and it is a skill that you can practice. Okay, so I hope this was helpful. I
[4:01] would love to hear your mindset shifts like maybe you didn't label them as such, but think about like, the
[4:02] times in your life when you know you changed the way you thought about something and it like blew up
[4:03] and changed your life. Send us those because we love to do them. I will say our podcast email is one of
[4:04] the happiest places in the world. I just love it. I love reading them every single week. It's a wonderful
[4:05] place to be. It's one of our joyful.
[4:06] Emma
[4:07] It really is. It's like, first I go open a tab for thriftbooks.com because if I get any recommendations, it's
[4:08] time to purchase. And then I open it up and just like, sip my drink and see what everyone's talking
[4:09] about. And a lot of times it's like, great ideas, hot takes, things they want to hear about. And then just
[4:10] like, comments of like, yeah, me too, basically. And it's like, these are my people.
[4:11] Elsie
[4:12] We love you. Okay, so we're gonna do a whole hot take segment. So we're gonna do Meredith's hot
[4:13] take, and then we're gonna do a rapid fire so I'm just gonna, like, use up all the hot takes we have. So
[4:14] we do need new ones. Podcast had a beautiful mess.com but I thought this would be fun, because I
[4:15] think the hot takes is a really fun thing that we're doing right now. So this is Meredith's from Rhode
[4:16] Island. She says, I always chuckle to myself when you refer to Springfield as a small town. I'm from an
[4:17] actual small town with less than 5000 people. Springfield is no New York, but it's definitely still a city
[4:18] and not a small town. Okay, I'm with Meredith. Meredith is correct, but, but I do have, I have some
[4:19] caveats, Meredith, you're correct. Like Springfield, I think this population is 170,000 or something like,
[4:20] something like that one. It's not a small town. Missouri State University is by my house, and we have,
[4:21] let's say, the things that make it big and then the things that make it small, like Emma's mentioned
[4:22] before, we do have, like, 25 Walmarts. Probably have more Walmart's than New York City. That's the
[4:23] biggest, we might the biggest city thing about Springfield, but only one target. Yeah. So there's the
[4:24] juxtaposition, the things that make it feel I mean, there's several there's several colleges, there's a big
[4:25] student population. There is. It's not too small on the map, like, it's kind of a spread out place, like land
[4:26] wise, and we are not near a major city, so we kind of are the major city. So there's a lot of suburbs and
[4:27] smaller towns that kind of combine into our city, yeah? And so for that reason, we do, we get a decent
[4:28] amount of, like, concerts and comedy and things like that. We just don't have any giant kind of venues.
[4:29] Emma
[4:30] Yeah, we don't have big enough like arenas.
[4:31] Elsie
[4:32] If you want to watch, like a Taylor Swift concert or something you do have to drive to Kansas, that you'll
[4:33] have to St Louis, for sure, but like, Harry Styles is not coming to Springfield, no Missouri, but once in a
[4:34] while, there's a band I've heard of and that's cool. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's the things that make it
[4:35] feel big. I agree. It's not small. I think true small towns. You can count the number of stoplights, and it's
[4:36] like less than five, and ours is like a lot, I don't know, hundreds. So yeah, it's not a small town. But okay,
[4:37] here's, here's the thing, it feels like a small town to me, because there's, there are, like, whole
[4:38] categories of things that feel like missing. Like, there's very, very few good, nice restaurants. There's
[4:39] very, very few places you can shop. There's very, very few. What else there's we only have one very,
[4:40] very small local bookstore, and then Barnes and Noble so there's just things about it, like, we have a lot
[4:41] of coffee shops. We have a lot of breakfast restaurants. There's, like, certain things that are we have a
[4:42] lot of bars. Missouri, a lot of ours talked, discussed before, is like, kind of an alcoholic state. So a lot of
[4:43] dispensaries now too, a lot of weed shops, a lot of vape shops, which is the depressing anyway, I'm just
[4:44] trying to make you understand there's, a there's a lack of culture that is oppressive.
[4:45] Emma
[4:46] Well, I think, like to me, what it is is, if I go to certain coffee shops, and there's really only a handful that
[4:47] I even go to, I can almost guarantee I'll see someone I know, yeah, which I think is kind of small town
[4:48] feeling, yeah, because I don't necessarily think someone in a big city feels that way, but maybe they do.
[4:49] I don't know. I don't live in a big city. I live in a midsize city, so that's that's part of it. And yeah, you run
[4:50] out of places to eat out if you eat out often, even, like once a week. So yeah, but to me, it's never felt
[4:51] like a small town. Because when I think of a small town, I think of, like, where our grandmother was
[4:52] from, buffalo, Missouri, which I think does have, or where we grew up going to school, Willard. Willard,
[4:53] Missouri, yeah, because there are like, a handful of stoplights and, you know, just things like that. And
[4:54] like, you do see all the same people all the time, yeah? And I'm like, Yeah, that's a small town. This is
[4:55] not a small town, but it feels like a small town at times, because you run into the same people over and
[4:56] over.
[4:57] Elsie
[4:58] Basically, we know the difference, but we're gonna keep calling it a small town, because it doesn't have
[4:59] a bunch of things that I feel like entitled to. Like, there's no Trader Joe's, wow, there's no Cheesecake
[5:00] Factory. No, there's no basic Midwestern pleasures. No, give me a Cheesecake Factory. Give me a
[5:01] Trader Joe's. It's true, yeah, anyway, but you're right, and we agree. Okay, so let's do rapid fire hot
[5:02] takes, so I will read them off, and then you can say, agree or disagree. Maybe a little defense, or, I don't
[5:03] know, is that good?
[5:04] Emma
[5:05] Yeah, okay, okay.
[5:06] Elsie
[5:07] What are the rules? What should we say are the rules?
[5:08] Emma
[5:09] Just like, give us your quick like, your hot take on the hot take, I guess.
[5:10] Elsie
[5:11] Yeah, okay, the first hot take, and I didn't write down I'm sorry everyone's name for these ones.
[5:12] Everyone should be in therapy. I'm just gonna go agree. I think that there's different ways to think about
[5:13] it. Some people think you go to therapy when you really need it, you kind of graduate. You go back
[5:14] when you need it again. I am more of a lifer, and I will just kind of stay in therapy. I enjoy the ritual of at
[5:15] least going once a month to therapy.
[5:16] Emma
[5:17] Same I think therapy is great. You should at least try it. And if it's not for you, fine, but, you know, give it
[5:18] a no. Thank you bite. As I would say, no thank you bite. So they make our kids see when they try to
[5:19] food. As I also like to say, if you're not going to go to therapy, at least watch Bob's Burgers. The next
[5:20] best thing this how I feel. It's better than therapy.
[5:21] Elsie
[5:22] Okay, so the next hot take is we are worse off because of the internet. I'm gonna have to go disagree.
[5:23] Emma
[5:24] Hard disagree, but I know where you're coming from.
[5:25] Elsie
[5:26] Yeah, I can rant about screen time. I can rant about social media, things I miss from the 90s. I can go
[5:27] nostalgic, but I can't say that the world is not a better place in many ways because of the internet.
[5:28] Emma
[5:29] Have you ever needed something and then it arrived to your house two days later? It's incredible. It's
[5:30] like modern magic, Alchemy. It's insane, and it's honestly great. But also, yeah, it could go overboard.
[5:31] Like, don't overdo it, you know, watch out. And there's some things that can really get you so, like,
[5:32] yeah, yeah, you got to avoid those. You had to learn about it. You got to, you got to keep your skeptical
[5:33] eye on it.
[5:34] Elsie
[5:35] Critical Thinking hat stays on.
[5:36] Emma
[5:37] Yep, keep that there. But, and I still love books, but, yeah, internet's great. And definitely change the
[5:38] world.
[5:39] Elsie
[5:40] Yeah, I don't think I'm worse off. I probably would not have the career. I would not be a rich person if I
[5:41] didn't have the internet. Like, you know what that was kind of our spot in, like, I don't know. So it's also
[5:42] a land of opportunity for many people.
[5:43] Emma
[5:44] Yeah, for people from, like, mid sized cities, you might say, going back to the.
[5:45] Elsie
[5:46] Yeah, Okay, the next one. I love this one, I'm gonna say I hate it when people pay it forward in the drive
[5:47] thru line, it creates pressure and chaos. I agree.
[5:48] Emma
[5:49] I agree. I hate it. I hate it. I participate, because I'm from the Midwest, and I try to be kind and go along
[5:50] with what's going around. But I don't like it.
[5:51] Elsie
[5:52] Okay? I don't participate anymore. I say thank you and drive off. Yes, I just say thank you, because I
[5:53] heard some people on social media who work at Starbucks say they would say that that's what you
[5:54] should do, and that's what I do now, and I feel bad, but I also think that like someone has to end it,
[5:55] because I agree that it creates pressure and chaos that is annoying.
[5:56] Emma
[5:57] That is like, what you're doing is you're you are trying to, like, give the person behind you a little, tiny
[5:58] gift, you know, but you're not giving a gift unless you're the person who cuts it off. You're not really
[5:59] receiving a gift. You're just paying another random price. That's what I'm saying. So, like, you're kind of
[6:00] doing, like, a nice thing. I'm just trying to help you not feel bad the next time you do it, you're kind of
[6:01] doing a nice thing to the person who did pay for you, because you're accepting their gift.
[6:02] Elsie
[6:03] Well, I've heard that, according to the people who work in Drive Thru restaurants that they would they
[6:04] want you to stop it. So just stop it. It's better for them, and it's better for everyone, and it's kind of what's
[6:05] good to know. It's good etiquette to stop it, but, yeah, I feel bad. Well, I was just being about it, but this
[6:06] is actually a good reason, right? It is annoying, though, because, like, if you keep it going, then you're
[6:07] not paying for your food. You're paying, like, just a random number and, like, why? But why is that
[6:08] different? You know? I mean, yeah, it's not really generous. It's just confusing. Yeah, okay. But I do
[6:09] think I will say this, there's this thing that happens in movies where people like, send a bottle of
[6:10] champagne to another table, or they like, pay for another person's meal in a restaurant, in a nice
[6:11] restaurant, and I think people should do that more. Let's bring that back, because that's actually like, so
[6:12] classy and cool to, like, see someone across the room and then send them a dessert or something.
[6:13] Emma
[6:14] Yeah, especially if you could tell they're celebrating, like, but I feel like, maybe that's hard to know, but I
[6:15] don't know, yeah, yeah. That's all fun.
[6:16] Elsie
[6:17] Like, I love it when they do that in movies, and it never happens in real life. So I think that would be
[6:18] more like, of a surprise that, like, made your day.
[6:19] Emma
[6:20] Yeah, I like, that does seem like a very classy move. Yeah.
[6:21] Elsie
[6:22] The next one, there's two more. AI is making us all dumber?
[6:23] Emma
[6:24] Is this a hot take? I feel like this might just be possibly true. We're looking into it.
[6:25] Elsie
[6:26] I think there's studies already. I think it's true. I think it's facts.
[6:27] Emma
[6:28] Yeah, I think it's a fact.
[6:29] Elsie
[6:30] I am so glad there wasn't AI when I was in school, or at least not newly that's the toughest era, because
[6:31] then everyone's figuring out how to manage it and stuff. I need to talk to our nieces and nephews and
[6:32] ask them if they I'm very curious what it's like to be a high school or college student right now or
[6:33] teacher. Okay, so my position is broadly AI skeptical. I wouldn't say I'm like, 100% anti AI, but I'm like,
[6:34] prove to me that it's useful, but like, I'm not just going to use it for everything. I feel like some people are
[6:35] just using it for everything, when it's like, not even the best option. So, yeah, I don't know.
[6:36] Emma
[6:37] Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm like, I like a number of things. I don't even think I know enough about it to
[6:38] say, like, oh, the way it changed this industry. I love the way it changed my industry. Was a bummer, but
[6:39] I think kind of useful for the consumer. So I get it, yeah, and I don't know, yeah, I feel like, Oh, this is a
[6:40] neat new thing. I'm open to it. I definitely feel skeptical though. I don't want to use it for everything.
[6:41] Elsie
[6:42] Yeah, don't use it to write your emails. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. Yeah, okay. Last one,
[6:43] pineapple not only belongs on pizza, but is the best pizza topping.
[6:44] Emma
[6:45] Thank you.
[6:46] Elsie
[6:47] Okay, this is finally one where we are on two different sides. I think it's gross. I think it's yucky, yucky,
[6:48] yucky. I don't want it, and you love it.
[6:49] Emma
[6:50] I love pineapple on pizza. If I'm not ordering for my kids, I'm getting pepperoni and pineapple, and I
[6:51] sometimes will get pineapple and jalapenos, which is called Sweet Heat, and it's delicious. I love
[6:52] pineapple on pizza. I don't know who started it, but they work correct, and everyone else is wrong.
[6:53] Elsie
[6:54] Okay, yeah, I just think it's gross. I have no other comments.
[6:55] Emma
[6:56] I'll also take though to be fair, to just show how unhinged I am about pizza. I've also had a number of
[6:57] pizzas with blueberries on them before, more than once. This has come up, and I ordered it the blog
[6:58] once, and it was delicious. I yeah, I kind of think fruit on pizza. And I'm not talking about fruit pizza.
[6:59] That's a different thing. I'm talking about pizza, melted cheese. Yeah, savory pizza. Savory pizza, and it
[7:00] has some element of a fruit on it, blueberry, pineapple, something of that nature. I think the blueberries
[7:01] are more classy than the pineapple. Well, that's probably true, because pineapple just kind of well,
[7:02] pineapple, a lot of times it comes from a can. So that might be what's giving you the I don't know.
[7:03] Blueberries don't come out of a can. I mean, generally, I don't know when that would come up.
[7:04] Elsie
[7:05] No, I would not order it, but I would. You don't think pineapple tastes really good together, though,
[7:06] because it's like a little bit sweet, no, like spiciness of the pie. All right, I restate my position, yucky,
[7:07] yucky, yucky very well agree to disagree. Okay, okay, let's toss it over to a joke or a fact with Nova. Hey,
[7:08] Nova, what do you have for us this week?
[7:09] Nova
[7:10] A joke.
[7:11] Elsie
[7:12] A joke. Okay, I'm ready.
[7:13] Nova
[7:14] What is the fastest thing on your face?
[7:15] Elsie
[7:16] Hmm, I do not know.
[7:17] Nova
[7:18] It's your nose. It's always running.
[7:19] Elsie
[7:20] Good job. I love it. Okay, we'll see you next week.
[7:21] Nova
[7:22] Goodbye.
[7:23] Elsie
[7:24] All right. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to send us your hot takes, please do anytime
[7:25] podcast@beautifulmess.com and we also always need episode topic suggestions. So anytime you
[7:26] want to send us an episode request, we will probably do it, because we're back to podcasting every
[7:27] single week, and we just need a lot of ideas all the time. All right, we'll be back next week.

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