# Dumm und Dümmer: Hitler Invades Florida

An episode of [Cautionary Tales with Tim Harford](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1484511465), 28 Aug 2026, 39 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pdrl.fm/18db03/tracking.swap.fm/track/SxlTEPDY7xDg35RXkASs/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/c0ae8c6e-22f0-4e9b-ac1c-ae390037ac53/816edf96-7009-4013-b656-b4b30111f2f5/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=7f5a4714-6b10-4ccf-a424-ae390037ac70

In 1942, eight men are sent from Nazi Germany to infiltrate America. Their mission: to sabotage critical infrastructure. Their problem: they're idiots. Operation Pastorius soon devolves into one of the most baffling failures of World War II. For a list of sources, see the show notes at timharford.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:15] Speaker 1: Pushkin. Joseph Schmidt drops a spoonful of baking soda into
[0:29] Speaker 1: a glass of water and stirs until the powder dissolves.
[0:35] Speaker 1: He takes a swinge and draws up some of the solution.
[0:41] Speaker 1: Then he pulls down his pants... and carefully injects the
[0:45] Speaker 1: baking soda into the tip of his penis. Desperate times
[0:52] Speaker 1: call for desperate measures, and Joseph Schmidt is desperate. Schmidt's
[0:59] Speaker 1: in his early 30s. He's six feet tall, fit and strong.
[1:04] Speaker 1: He's got blonde hair and blue eyes, which helps in
[1:08] Speaker 1: Germany in 1942. Schmidt is German. though he spent years
[1:14] Speaker 1: in Canada, living on his wits as a hunter, trapper
[1:18] Speaker 1: and trader. Then he ran into trouble and had to
[1:22] Speaker 1: flee the country. It was hard to travel with the
[1:25] Speaker 1: war on, but he made it back via Mexico and Japan.
[1:30] Speaker 1: No sooner had he got back to Germany than he
[1:33] Speaker 1: got a tap on the shoulder from an agent of
[1:37] Speaker 1: the Abwehr, the Military Intelligence Service. I'm putting together a
[1:42] Speaker 1: crack team of operatives to go undercover in the United States.
[1:47] Speaker 1: The agent told him, I'm recruiting Germans who've lived in
[1:51] Speaker 1: North America and who'll be able to blend back in.
[1:54] Speaker 1: You'll get a fake identity. Are you interested? Schmidt was interested.
[2:03] Speaker 1: Schmidt was sent to a farm near Brandenburg. Over weeks
[2:07] Speaker 1: of intensive training, he and eight other hand-picked operatives were
[2:12] Speaker 1: learned how to use explosives and timing devices. They learned
[2:16] Speaker 1: where to plant those explosives to cause maximum damage to
[2:20] Speaker 1: the US economy, blowing up railroads, canal locks and aluminium plants.
[2:25] Speaker 1: They learned to make invisible ink from laxative pills so
[2:29] Speaker 1: they could send each other secret messages. Joseph Schmidt learned
[2:34] Speaker 1: something else, too. He learned that the other eight hand-picked
[2:39] Speaker 1: crack operatives were... largely idiots. Just look at what had
[2:47] Speaker 1: happened since they'd completed their training and travelled through Nazi-occupied France,
[2:53] Speaker 1: accompanied by a naval officer who was arranging for U-boats
[2:56] Speaker 1: to take them from a French port to the US coast.
[3:00] Speaker 1: In Paris, one of the eight got roaring drunk and
[3:03] Speaker 1: told everyone in the bar that he was a secret agent.
[3:07] Speaker 1: Another woke half the hotel by getting into an argument
[3:10] Speaker 1: with a prostitute, When she demanded payment, he was confused
[3:14] Speaker 1: twice over. He didn't understand French, and he hadn't realised
[3:19] Speaker 1: she was a prostitute. Then there was George Dash, the
[3:23] Speaker 1: man who'd been inexplicably chosen to lead them. Dash was
[3:28] Speaker 1: the biggest idiot of all. He'd been a waiter in
[3:31] Speaker 1: America for 20 years, and at least his English was good. Mostly.
[3:36] Speaker 1: It did have a few quirks. For instance, he'd over-generalised
[3:40] Speaker 1: from the phrase... Use your noodle, and thought that noodle
[3:44] Speaker 1: was an all-purpose synonym for brain.
[3:48] Speaker 2: I could not put it all in my noodle.
[3:51] Speaker 1: Dash struggled to pay attention in training. Then, when they
[3:56] Speaker 1: got to France... Scheiße!
[3:58] Speaker 2: I left my papers on the train.
[4:01] Speaker 1: He lost the carefully falsified papers he'd need to establish
[4:04] Speaker 1: his fake identity in the US. When he realized this,
[4:08] Speaker 1: Dash dashed to the station. But the train had left.
[4:13] Speaker 1: He tried to explain his predicament to the station staff,
[4:16] Speaker 1: but made them so suspicious that they called the local Gestapo.
[4:20] Speaker 1: Only with difficulty were the local Gestapo persuaded that this
[4:24] Speaker 1: evident idiot really was about to lead a team of
[4:28] Speaker 1: train saboteurs on a top-secret mission. These idiots, thought Joseph Schmidt,
[4:35] Speaker 1: are going to get me killed. It was clear to
[4:39] Speaker 1: him what he had to do. Inject baking soda into
[4:43] Speaker 1: his penis. Schmidt knocks on the door of the naval
[4:49] Speaker 1: officer in charge of arranging the U-boats. Captain Leutnant, says Schmidt.
[4:55] Speaker 1: I think I've picked up a disease from a brothel
[4:58] Speaker 1: in Paris. Show me, says the officer. Schmidt pulls down
[5:04] Speaker 1: his pants. The officer looks at the gunky foam oozing
[5:09] Speaker 1: from the tip of Schmidt's penis. He says, you're not
[5:13] Speaker 1: getting on one of my U-boats with that. Schmidt was
[5:18] Speaker 1: out of Operation Pastorius. George Dash would have to lead
[5:23] Speaker 1: the remaining crack operatives without him. I'm Tim Harford, and
[5:29] Speaker 1: you're listening to Cautionary Tales. George Dash did not enjoy
[6:02] Speaker 1: his journey on the U-boat. It wasn't too bad when
[6:05] Speaker 1: the submarine was actually underwater. The electric engines hummed gently
[6:11] Speaker 1: and their progress felt serene. But it was also slow.
[6:15] Speaker 1: Those electric motors weren't very powerful. To travel more quickly,
[6:19] Speaker 1: they had to rise to the surface, fire up the
[6:22] Speaker 1: noisy diesel engines, and keep a constant watch for Allied airplanes,
[6:28] Speaker 1: ready to dive at a moment's notice. The U-boat rocked
[6:33] Speaker 1: and lurched with the waves. Dash curled up in his bunk,
[6:38] Speaker 1: feeling horribly seasick. The journey took 17 days. Still, it
[6:45] Speaker 1: could be worse. Dash was headed to Long Island, along
[6:50] Speaker 1: with three of the other operatives. The remaining four members
[6:53] Speaker 1: of Operation Pastorius were on another U-boat bound for Florida.
[6:59] Speaker 1: They'd still be at sea for four more days. The
[7:02] Speaker 1: eight would reconvene in Cincinnati on a symbolic date, July
[7:08] Speaker 1: the 4th, to plan which bit of critical wartime infrastructure
[7:13] Speaker 1: to attack first. It was nearly midnight on Friday, June
[7:18] Speaker 1: the 12th, when the captain of Dash's U-boat said they
[7:22] Speaker 1: could land. They were somewhere near East Hampton. It was
[7:27] Speaker 1: hard to be sure exactly where because the fog was thick.
[7:31] Speaker 1: The captain drifted his U-boat gently into the sand. Two
[7:36] Speaker 1: sailors vetted a dinghy to row the four saboteurs to shore.
[7:41] Speaker 1: They tied a rope to the U-boat to find their
[7:43] Speaker 1: way back. Into the dinghy went a big bag of
[7:47] Speaker 1: cash and four crates packed with explosives. The saboteurs would
[7:52] Speaker 1: bury the crates on the beach and come back for
[7:54] Speaker 1: them later. Also into the dinghy went four sets of
[7:59] Speaker 1: civilian clothes to change into. The saboteurs were dressed in
[8:04] Speaker 1: military uniforms. That mattered. If they happened to be captured
[8:09] Speaker 1: while landing, they'd be treated as prisoners of war under
[8:13] Speaker 1: the Geneva Conventions. The sailors began to row, but which
[8:18] Speaker 1: way was the shore? The fog was thick. They could
[8:23] Speaker 1: only listen out for the breaking of the waves, which
[8:26] Speaker 1: seemed to be coming from the left. No, the right.
[8:31] Speaker 1: A wave broke over the dinghy, drenching everyone. They made
[8:35] Speaker 1: it to the beach and unloaded the cargo. Then Dash
[8:40] Speaker 1: heard a voice through the fog.
[8:42] Speaker 2: Who are you?
[8:44] Speaker 1: A coastguard. He must have landed near a Coast Guard station.
[8:48] Speaker 1: Dash called back.
[8:50] Speaker 2: Fishermen! We ran aground in the fog. Where are we?
[8:56] Speaker 1: I'm a ganset.
[8:58] Speaker 2: Come and shelter in the station for the night. All right.
[9:02] Speaker 1: They'd discussed what to do if they met a lone
[9:05] Speaker 1: Coast Guard on patrol. Overpower him. Now that they'd actually
[9:10] Speaker 1: met one, well, Dash made his way through the fog
[9:15] Speaker 1: till he was face to face with the Coast Guard.
[9:18] Speaker 1: The man was young. Dash lowered his voice.
[9:23] Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to have to kill you. You don't
[9:26] Speaker 2: know what this is about.
[9:29] Speaker 1: Dash pulled a wad of dollar bills out of his pocket.
[9:33] Speaker 2: Take this and forget you ever saw us. I don't
[9:37] Speaker 2: want your money.
[9:39] Speaker 1: Another figure appeared from the fog and said something to
[9:42] Speaker 1: Dash in German. In German! In German! What an idiot!
[9:47] Speaker 1: Dash snapped at him.
[9:48] Speaker 2: Shut up and go back to the others.
[9:51] Speaker 1: The young Coast Guard grabbed the money, turned and ran
[9:56] Speaker 1: off into the fog. In Amagansett Lifeboat Station, the young
[10:06] Speaker 1: Coast Guard's boss was sleeping. when he burst through the doors.
[10:11] Speaker 2: Germans! There were Germans on the beach!
[10:14] Speaker 1: Germans? What do you mean, Germans? There can't be. They
[10:17] Speaker 1: tried to bribe me.
[10:19] Speaker 2: Look!
[10:19] Speaker 1: The young Coast Guard thrust the money at his boss.
[10:25] Speaker 2: $ 260.
[10:26] Speaker 1: Several thousand in today's terms. OK, said the boss. I
[10:30] Speaker 1: believe you. He woke the other nightguards and gave them rifles.
[10:34] Speaker 1: Not that they'd ever been trained in how to use them.
[10:37] Speaker 1: No one had really expected Germans to land on a
[10:40] Speaker 1: beach in the Hamptons. They followed the young coastguard through
[10:44] Speaker 1: the fog to where he'd encountered the men. The men
[10:48] Speaker 1: weren't there. But they could hear the roar of engines
[10:53] Speaker 1: and smell diesel fumes. The fog briefly eased, revealing a long,
[10:58] Speaker 1: dark shape.
[11:00] Speaker 2: A Yuba.
[11:03] Speaker 1: On the U-boat, the captain desperately revved his diesel engines.
[11:07] Speaker 1: There was no use. He was stuck in the sand,
[11:10] Speaker 1: and the tide wouldn't turn for another hour. The fog
[11:14] Speaker 1: briefly eased, and he saw with horror how close he
[11:18] Speaker 1: was to the Coast Guard station. He ordered his men
[11:22] Speaker 1: to prepare to surrender. They placed explosives around the boat.
[11:26] Speaker 1: At all costs, the Allies mustn't capture their top-secret Enigma codebooks.
[11:33] Speaker 1: But it was odd. The Coast Guards must have seen him,
[11:37] Speaker 1: or heard his engines as he tried to get away.
[11:41] Speaker 1: Yet they weren't firing on him. Why? Back on the beach,
[11:48] Speaker 1: the Coast Guards had ducked behind a fence with the
[11:51] Speaker 1: rifles they weren't sure how to use. They were afraid
[11:55] Speaker 1: the U-boat would fire on them. They made their way
[11:58] Speaker 1: carefully back to the station. and radioed their superiors, who
[12:03] Speaker 1: radioed Navy intelligence, who said, Someone thinks they've seen a
[12:07] Speaker 1: U-boat in the Hamptons.
[12:10] Speaker 2: Yes, yes.
[12:10] Speaker 1: We get calls like that from nutters all the time.
[12:16] Speaker 1: Cautionary Tales will be back after the break. Herbie Haupt
[12:25] Speaker 1: was just a child when his family moved from Germany
[12:28] Speaker 1: to Chicago. By 1941, Haupt was 21 years old and
[12:34] Speaker 1: an American citizen. That posed a problem. He'd have to
[12:39] Speaker 1: register for the draft. And he had an even bigger problem.
[12:44] Speaker 1: He'd got his girlfriend pregnant. This was all far more
[12:48] Speaker 1: responsibility than young Herbie Haupt was ready for. He told
[12:52] Speaker 1: his mum he was going on vacation and instead skipped
[12:57] Speaker 1: the country. He figured he could get a job in Mexico.
[13:02] Speaker 1: But no, he'd need a work permit. Haupt burned through
[13:07] Speaker 1: his money. He heard that Germans could work in Japan,
[13:12] Speaker 1: so he got on a ship. He didn't like the
[13:15] Speaker 1: work in Japan, so he got on another ship to
[13:17] Speaker 1: Nazi-occupied France. He decided to visit his grandparents in Germany.
[13:23] Speaker 1: Maybe he could join the Luftwaffe. That would be cool.
[13:27] Speaker 1: But no, he'd need a permit to get any kind
[13:30] Speaker 1: of job in Germany, and the Gestapo weren't inclined to
[13:33] Speaker 1: give him one. They found his story hard to believe.
[13:39] Speaker 1: What kind of idiot drifts aimlessly around the world in
[13:44] Speaker 1: the middle of a war? The Abwehr, the military intelligence service,
[13:52] Speaker 1: had no such concerns. Haupt got a tap on the shoulder.
[13:57] Speaker 1: Would he like to join a crack team of undercover operatives?
[14:03] Speaker 1: Haupt decided that, yes, he did quite fancy a free
[14:07] Speaker 1: journey back to the United States, thank you very much.
[14:11] Speaker 1: He was missing his mum and, despite everything, his girlfriend. Also,
[14:17] Speaker 1: there was rationing in wartime Germany. He could only get
[14:20] Speaker 1: two cigarettes a day. Haupt was sent to a farm
[14:25] Speaker 1: near Brandenburg. for weeks of intensive training. They learned things
[14:30] Speaker 1: like how to assemble collapsible boats. But when Haupt took
[14:35] Speaker 1: his out on a lake, it collapsed. He was wearing
[14:39] Speaker 1: heavy boots, nearly drowned. The training over, they had a
[14:45] Speaker 1: weekend off in Paris. Haupt met a girl and took
[14:49] Speaker 1: her back to the hotel. She seemed to like him,
[14:53] Speaker 1: but later she started yelling at him. Strange. Herbie Haupt
[15:00] Speaker 1: was put on a U-boat bound for Florida with three
[15:04] Speaker 1: other saboteurs. They were given crates of explosives. And money.
[15:10] Speaker 1: Really quite a lot of money. Haupt alone was entrusted
[15:13] Speaker 1: with $ 14, 000, something like a quarter of a million in
[15:18] Speaker 1: today's terms. They were given Nazi military caps. For some
[15:23] Speaker 1: reason it was important to wear them while landing. The
[15:27] Speaker 1: journey across the Atlantic was long. What an adventure he'd had.
[15:32] Speaker 1: But Herbie Haupt was looking forward to getting home. Off
[15:40] Speaker 1: the beach in Amagansett, in the dark and the fog,
[15:44] Speaker 1: the U-boat captain waited, feeling more and more puzzled. The
[15:50] Speaker 1: Americans must have seen them. Why weren't they attacking? Slowly, slowly,
[15:59] Speaker 1: tide inched in. The captain tried once more with the
[16:03] Speaker 1: diesel engines, one forward, one reverse. This time the U-boat
[16:10] Speaker 1: lurched off the sand and chugged towards deeper water, then
[16:16] Speaker 1: dived to safety. the first light of dawn crept along
[16:32] Speaker 1: the beach. The Coast Guards quickly found discarded German uniforms
[16:38] Speaker 1: and four crates which the men must have tried hurriedly
[16:42] Speaker 1: to bury in the sand. The crates turned out to
[16:45] Speaker 1: be full of explosives. None of the Coast Guards, it seems,
[16:51] Speaker 1: stopped to wonder where had the Germans gone? If the
[16:56] Speaker 1: Coast Guards had wondered that, They might have reasoned perhaps
[17:01] Speaker 1: the Germans walked inland till they got to the train tracks,
[17:05] Speaker 1: then followed the tracks till they got to a station.
[17:10] Speaker 1: The Coast Guards might then have thought, let's check out
[17:14] Speaker 1: Amagansett Rail Station. If they had, they would have found
[17:19] Speaker 1: four damp, bedraggled, frazzled-looking men with a large bag of
[17:25] Speaker 1: cash waiting anxiously for the first train to New York,
[17:30] Speaker 1: which wasn't due till nearly seven o'clock. But nobody thought
[17:35] Speaker 1: to check out Amagansett Rail Station. George Dash and his
[17:40] Speaker 1: three companions got on the train. The seas off Florida
[17:50] Speaker 1: were warm in mid-June. Herbie Haupt and his three colleagues
[17:55] Speaker 1: wore only bathing suits to make their landing and the
[17:59] Speaker 1: military caps to mark them out as lawful combatants in
[18:02] Speaker 1: case they were captured. They weren't. Nobody saw them. They
[18:08] Speaker 1: buried their crates of explosives carefully in the sand and
[18:12] Speaker 1: discarded their Nazi caps. Now in civilian clothes, behind enemy lines...
[18:21] Speaker 1: They were no longer protected by the laws of war.
[18:24] Speaker 1: They were unlawful combatants. If they were captured, they could
[18:29] Speaker 1: be executed. Faced with this mortal peril, the top priority
[18:37] Speaker 1: was a spot of shopping. They were, of course, supposed
[18:41] Speaker 1: to use the cash they'd been given for sabotage activities.
[18:45] Speaker 1: But naturally, they'd need new clothes and shoes and suitcases.
[18:51] Speaker 1: Herbie Haupt treated himself to a flashy gold wristwatch. What next?
[18:57] Speaker 1: They had more than a fortnight before they all had
[19:00] Speaker 1: to meet in Cincinnati, so they went their separate ways.
[19:05] Speaker 1: One was eager to resume his love life. He went
[19:08] Speaker 1: off to meet his mistress, then his wife. Herbie Haupt
[19:12] Speaker 1: took the train back home to Chicago. His parents were
[19:16] Speaker 1: surprised to see him. and even more surprised to see
[19:19] Speaker 1: his bag full of money. I've been in Germany, he said.
[19:24] Speaker 1: I'm involved in matters of great importance. Granny and Grandpa
[19:28] Speaker 1: say hello. Haupt went to the local car dealership and
[19:34] Speaker 1: bought a black six-cylinder Pontiac Coupé. He went to see
[19:40] Speaker 1: his old girlfriend. She said, Where have you been? Our
[19:47] Speaker 1: baby died. He said, marry me? George Dash as team leader,
[20:00] Speaker 1: had been given even more cash than the others, well
[20:04] Speaker 1: over a million in today's money. Once the train from
[20:08] Speaker 1: Amagansett had got him safely to New York, Dash checked
[20:12] Speaker 1: himself into a fancy hotel, went shopping at Macy's, and
[20:17] Speaker 1: then took another of the saboteurs out for dinner. Rare
[20:21] Speaker 1: steaks and fine wine. You couldn't get this kind of
[20:25] Speaker 1: meal in wartime Germany. Dash had chosen his meal companion carefully.
[20:33] Speaker 1: He wanted to learn more about Peter Berger's past. At
[20:37] Speaker 1: the training camp, the other saboteurs had been suspicious of Berger.
[20:42] Speaker 1: They knew he'd been in trouble with the Gestapo. Dash
[20:46] Speaker 1: asked him, What happened? Peter Berger told Dasch his life story.
[20:53] Speaker 1: As a teenager, he'd been one of Hitler's earliest supporters.
[20:58] Speaker 1: He'd taken part in the Munich Beer Hall Putsch, the Nazis'
[21:03] Speaker 1: first attempt to seize power. It failed. Hitler went to prison.
[21:10] Speaker 1: Berger emigrated to the States. When Hitler took charge, Berger
[21:15] Speaker 1: moved back to Germany, But the Nazi party was riven
[21:19] Speaker 1: with factions, and Berger's old friends fell out of favour.
[21:24] Speaker 1: The Gestapo had him arrested. He got out in the end,
[21:28] Speaker 1: but his wife had been so shaken up, she had
[21:31] Speaker 1: a miscarriage. Berger clearly despised the Gestapo. There was no
[21:38] Speaker 1: barrier to getting a tap on the shoulder from the Abwehr.
[21:41] Speaker 1: In the Nazi infighting, they didn't much like the Gestapo either.
[21:45] Speaker 1: But what did Berger's bitterness mean for his commitment to
[21:48] Speaker 1: their mission? The next morning, Dash invited Berger to his
[21:53] Speaker 1: hotel room. As Berger later told the story, we continued
[21:58] Speaker 1: our conversation of the night before. Dash's account was much
[22:03] Speaker 1: more dramatic.
[22:05] Speaker 2: I locked the door. I opened the window.
[22:09] Speaker 1: They were on the 13th floor.
[22:13] Speaker 2: I said to Berger... We're going to talk, and if
[22:17] Speaker 2: we disagree, only one of us will leave this room
[22:20] Speaker 2: by the door. The other will leave by the window.
[22:28] Speaker 1: Cautionary Tales will be back in a moment. In the
[22:37] Speaker 1: hotel room on the 13th floor, Peter Berger said to
[22:41] Speaker 1: George Dash, I think we understand each other. I don't
[22:46] Speaker 1: want to go through with any sabotage. And I don't
[22:49] Speaker 1: think you do either. I noticed in the training camp
[22:53] Speaker 1: that you never paid attention. George Dash and Peter Berger
[22:58] Speaker 1: now agreed to betray the mission. Had they always secretly
[23:04] Speaker 1: intended this, as they now insisted? Or had they been
[23:08] Speaker 1: spooked by their near-miss with the Coast Guard and decided
[23:12] Speaker 1: to give up before they were caught? Either way, Berger
[23:17] Speaker 1: picked up the telephone directory and looked up the number
[23:20] Speaker 1: of the FBI's New York office. They left the hotel
[23:25] Speaker 1: and found a payphone. Dash made the call.
[23:30] Speaker 2: I have very important information. I need to speak to J.
[23:34] Speaker 2: Edgar Hoover personally. Please inform Mr. Hoover that I will
[23:38] Speaker 2: come to Washington to see him on Thursday. Or maybe Friday.
[23:45] Speaker 1: Okay. Yes, yes, thought the call handler. Another nutter. We
[23:51] Speaker 1: get them all the time. It was now Sunday evening.
[24:01] Speaker 1: Why did Dash want to wait till Thursday or Friday
[24:05] Speaker 1: before travelling to Washington and risk one of the other
[24:08] Speaker 1: saboteurs giving him up first? There was something he wanted
[24:13] Speaker 1: to do. Play Pinnacle. his favourite card game. On Monday evening,
[24:21] Speaker 1: Dash went to an old haunt, the Waiters' Club. He
[24:26] Speaker 1: knew everyone there, and they knew him as a frustrated
[24:30] Speaker 1: waiter who'd always seemed to think he was cut out
[24:33] Speaker 1: for grander things. He'd talked a lot about politics, but
[24:38] Speaker 1: was he a Nazi or a communist? They were never sure.
[24:42] Speaker 1: It disappeared mysteriously, and now he was back in expensive
[24:47] Speaker 1: new clothes. Where have you been? they asked.
[24:51] Speaker 2: Boys, don't ask me anything. I couldn't tell you the
[24:56] Speaker 2: truth anyway.
[24:58] Speaker 1: Dash took a seat at the pinnacle table and pulled
[25:01] Speaker 1: out a bunch of high-value notes.
[25:04] Speaker 2: Thank God I don't have to work as a waiter anymore.
[25:08] Speaker 1: Dash played Pinnacle all through Monday night and all through
[25:12] Speaker 1: Tuesday and all through Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning, he
[25:19] Speaker 1: paid the bills of everyone in the club, dispensed some
[25:23] Speaker 1: handsome tips, took a taxi back to the hotel and slept.
[25:29] Speaker 1: On Thursday, he went to Washington. On Friday, he finally
[25:35] Speaker 1: turned up at the F.B.I. By now, the FBI had
[25:40] Speaker 1: heard all about the Germans on the beach at Amagansett.
[25:44] Speaker 1: The young Coast Guard had given them a description of
[25:46] Speaker 1: the man he'd met. That description looked very much like
[25:50] Speaker 1: the man who was now telling an agent, I've.
[25:53] Speaker 2: Got a long story to tell. I want to tell
[25:56] Speaker 2: it in my own way. And I want to tell
[25:59] Speaker 2: it to J. Edgar Hoover. He should be expecting me.
[26:04] Speaker 1: Mr. Hoover, alas, was not available. But please, said the agent,
[26:11] Speaker 1: tell your story. Dash began to ramble about how it
[26:17] Speaker 1: worked as a waiter and never liked the Nazis. He
[26:20] Speaker 1: went to Germany to visit his mother and got a
[26:22] Speaker 1: tap on the shoulder from the Abwehr. He listened to
[26:26] Speaker 1: the propaganda that America was broadcasting into Germany. It's terrible,
[26:30] Speaker 1: Dash complained. You should put me in charge.
[26:34] Speaker 2: I'll rally millions of Germans to the Allied Corpses.
[26:38] Speaker 1: The FBI agent tried to keep him focused. Where are
[26:43] Speaker 1: the other seven saboteurs? After rambling for 13 hours, Dash
[26:51] Speaker 1: finally mentioned at which New York hotel they could find
[26:55] Speaker 1: Peter Berger. He'd told Berger to keep tabs on the
[26:59] Speaker 1: other two who'd landed in Amagansett. And what about the
[27:04] Speaker 1: four from Florida? Ah, said Dash. He couldn't remember all
[27:10] Speaker 1: the details, but not to worry. It was all written
[27:13] Speaker 1: down in invisible ink on this handkerchief. To reveal the ink,
[27:17] Speaker 1: he said, you simply have to use some chemical. Which chemical,
[27:26] Speaker 1: said the agent.
[27:28] Speaker 2: If I'd known you boys were going to ask all
[27:30] Speaker 2: these questions about it, I would have learned it.
[27:38] Speaker 1: In his New York hotel room, Peter Berger got a
[27:42] Speaker 1: knock on the door. FBI, open up. Thank goodness, said Berger.
[27:50] Speaker 1: What took you so long? Back in Washington, George Dash
[27:57] Speaker 1: was still racking his noodle.
[28:00] Speaker 2: Ammonia! You need ammonia to read The Invisible Ink.
[28:08] Speaker 1: With his flashy new watch on his wrist, young Herbie
[28:12] Speaker 1: Haupt was driving his Pontiac Coupé when men in suits
[28:17] Speaker 1: in a Hudson sedan pulled him over. FBI, they said.
[28:26] Speaker 1: We understand you're part of Operation Pastorius. Ah, yes, said
[28:32] Speaker 1: Herbie Haupt. I was going to tell you. Really, said
[28:37] Speaker 1: the G-men. When? Haupt explained what he'd been planning. See
[28:45] Speaker 1: his parents, buy a car, propose to his girlfriend. Then
[28:49] Speaker 1: come clean about Operation Pastorious and then go on honeymoon.
[28:54] Speaker 1: The government men were incredulous. You thought we'd let you
[28:59] Speaker 1: go on honeymoon? Haupt did indeed think that. After all,
[29:06] Speaker 1: he hadn't actually done any sabotage. So what was he
[29:10] Speaker 1: guilty of? They explained to him about the laws of war.
[29:15] Speaker 1: You landed in a U-boat with crates of explosives. You're
[29:21] Speaker 1: an unlawful combatant. You could be executed. One by one,
[29:32] Speaker 1: the FBI picked up the members of Operation Pastorius. They
[29:36] Speaker 1: all told similar stories. In Germany, said one, I always
[29:42] Speaker 1: hoped something would come up to prevent me from going.
[29:46] Speaker 1: They were called furtive, guarded conversations. with one another. What
[29:51] Speaker 1: do you think of our leader? Not much. Hmm. Perhaps
[29:55] Speaker 1: there'll be a way out. One saboteur said he always
[30:00] Speaker 1: knew they were doomed because Dash was an egomaniac and
[30:04] Speaker 1: a crackpot. He'd been hoping to see his mistress and
[30:08] Speaker 1: his wife again, then abscond to Argentina. The eight were
[30:14] Speaker 1: tried by a secret military tribunal. Journalists were allowed in
[30:20] Speaker 1: briefly to look at the saboteurs. That was disappointing, reported
[30:25] Speaker 1: the New York Times. They'd expected burly-booted stormtroopers or brutal
[30:31] Speaker 1: U-boat captains, but these individuals were inconspicuous, most ordinary looking.
[30:40] Speaker 1: The tribunal heard the statements the eight had given to
[30:43] Speaker 1: the FBI. The one from George Dash ran to 254 pages.
[30:51] Speaker 1: On the witness stand, Dash rambled off on so many
[30:55] Speaker 1: tangents the prosecutor despaired. We'll be here for a week
[30:59] Speaker 1: if this goes on. I've never heard evidence like this
[31:02] Speaker 1: in my life. Luckily, Peter Berger was much more succinct
[31:08] Speaker 1: and just as keen to tell them everything that might
[31:11] Speaker 1: be useful. He told them about a ninth member of
[31:15] Speaker 1: their group who hadn't travelled at the last moment, Joseph Schmidt. Schmidt,
[31:23] Speaker 1: said Berger, was cool and deliberate, an excellent shot, big,
[31:30] Speaker 1: strong and self-reliant, a very intelligent individual. Perhaps this Schmidt
[31:38] Speaker 1: might be sent over later with another group of saboteurs.
[31:42] Speaker 1: The FBI put up wanted posters. The account that emerged
[31:51] Speaker 1: of the saboteurs' training was surprisingly impressive. In the crates
[31:58] Speaker 1: they'd buried in the sand, for instance, they'd been given explosives...
[32:03] Speaker 1: disguised as lumps of coal, an ingenious way to blow
[32:07] Speaker 1: up a coal-fired engine. They'd been given intricate timer devices
[32:12] Speaker 1: disguised as fountain pens. The FBI's explosives expert was impressed.
[32:19] Speaker 1: One of their targets was a cryolite plant in Pennsylvania.
[32:24] Speaker 1: That puzzled the US government until they realised that their
[32:27] Speaker 1: entire aluminium industry depended on it. The Nazis had understood
[32:33] Speaker 1: their supply chain vulnerabilities better than they had themselves. Which
[32:39] Speaker 1: made it all the stranger that Operation Pastorius had been
[32:44] Speaker 1: entrusted to such evidently inadequate individuals. The crackpot egomaniac, the
[32:52] Speaker 1: embittered Gestapo hater, the naive, impulsive kid, and we haven't
[32:57] Speaker 1: even got to the talkative drunk or the nervous wreck,
[33:04] Speaker 1: At the military tribunal, the defence lawyer said, isn't it
[33:08] Speaker 1: enough to lock them up? None of them have actually
[33:10] Speaker 1: done any sabotage and look at them, they probably never
[33:14] Speaker 1: would have. The prosecutor responded with sarcasm. Can it really
[33:21] Speaker 1: be true that the Abwehr agent who recruited them was
[33:26] Speaker 1: a dumbbell who chose eight morons? He demanded the death
[33:31] Speaker 1: penalty for them all. Operation Pastorius can surely tell us
[33:42] Speaker 1: something about the importance of good recruitment. But it also
[33:47] Speaker 1: reminds me of a classic study we've met before on
[33:50] Speaker 1: Cautionary Tales. The experiment of the smoke-filled room. Experimenters asked
[33:58] Speaker 1: a subject to sit in a room, on their own,
[34:01] Speaker 1: and fill out a form. Smoke began to pour in
[34:05] Speaker 1: from a vent in the wall. Most subjects... as you'd expect,
[34:10] Speaker 1: got up and left. Then the experimenters varied the setup.
[34:16] Speaker 1: They put two actors in the room and told them
[34:19] Speaker 1: to ignore the smoke and carry on filling out their forms. Now,
[34:24] Speaker 1: when faced with the thickening smoke, the experimental subjects also
[34:29] Speaker 1: saw that the people sitting next to them were calmly
[34:32] Speaker 1: soldiering on, In that situation, just one in ten people
[34:37] Speaker 1: had the gumption to get up and leave. The others thought,
[34:42] Speaker 1: nobody else is leaving. Maybe this is fine? They kept
[34:47] Speaker 1: on filling their forms while rubbing their eyes and coughing.
[34:53] Speaker 1: The lesson. If you perceive danger, but others around you
[34:58] Speaker 1: aren't taking action, don't assume you're the one who's wrong.
[35:06] Speaker 1: There were nine people in the training camp for Operation Pastorius.
[35:11] Speaker 1: They had weeks to form a judgment of the competence
[35:14] Speaker 1: of their comrades and their leader and what that suggested
[35:18] Speaker 1: about their prospects of survival. Yet only one in nine
[35:24] Speaker 1: had the gumption and resourcefulness to extricate himself from the situation.
[35:30] Speaker 1: Joseph Schmidt. By injecting his penis with baking soda, Schmidt
[35:37] Speaker 1: saved himself. The tribunal sentenced all the saboteurs to death.
[35:44] Speaker 1: But two had their sentences commuted. George Dash and Peter
[35:49] Speaker 1: Berger were held in prison. Dash was appalled.
[35:54] Speaker 2: I had all reason to believe that I would be
[35:57] Speaker 2: greeted with open arms, befriended as an ally.
[36:01] Speaker 1: Dash had fully expected to be put in charge of
[36:05] Speaker 1: US propaganda. Before his execution, naive young Herbie Haupt wrote
[36:12] Speaker 1: a letter to his mum. I did not know what
[36:15] Speaker 1: a grave offence it is to come here the way
[36:18] Speaker 1: I did in wartime. But what happened to Joseph Schmidt?
[36:25] Speaker 1: I wish I could tell you. The last trace of
[36:29] Speaker 1: Schmidt in the historical record is the source of the
[36:32] Speaker 1: story with which I started this tale. The Kapitan Leutnant,
[36:36] Speaker 1: who had inspected Schmidt's frothy penis and banned him from
[36:40] Speaker 1: the U-boat, later bumped into him. They bonded over their
[36:44] Speaker 1: memories of the eight saboteurs. So incompetent, said the Kapitan Leutnant.
[36:52] Speaker 1: What a bunch of idiots. Anyway, did your... health problem
[36:57] Speaker 1: clear up? Schmidt grinned and told him about the baking soda.
[37:04] Speaker 1: After that, nothing. No mention of what Joseph Schmidt did next.
[37:12] Speaker 1: As a storyteller, that's disappointing. I'd have liked to end
[37:16] Speaker 1: this tale with his fate, but it's not surprising. Joseph
[37:22] Speaker 1: Schmidt was was the smartest person in Operation Pastorius. Once
[37:29] Speaker 1: the wanted posters went up, of course, he was never
[37:34] Speaker 1: heard from again. Sources for this episode include Saboteurs! The
[37:50] Speaker 1: Nazi Raid on America by Michael Dobbs And They Came
[37:55] Speaker 1: to Kill, the story of eight Nazi saboteurs in America
[38:00] Speaker 1: by Eugene Rackliss. For a full list of our sources,
[38:04] Speaker 1: see the show notes at timharford.com. Cautionary Tales is written
[38:10] Speaker 1: by me, Tim Harford, with Andrew Wright, Alice Fiennes and
[38:14] Speaker 1: Ryan Dilley. It's produced by Georgia Mills and Marilyn Rust.
[38:20] Speaker 1: The sound design and original music are the work of
[38:22] Speaker 1: Pascal Wise. Ben-Nadav Hafri edited the scripts. It features the
[38:28] Speaker 1: voice talents of Melanie Guttridge, Genevieve Gaunt, Stella Harford, Masaya Munro,
[38:34] Speaker 1: Jamal Westman and Rufus Wright. The show also wouldn't have
[38:39] Speaker 1: been possible without the work of Jacob Weisberg, Greta Cohn,
[38:43] Speaker 1: Eric Sandler, Carrie Brody, Christina Sullivan, Keira Posey and Owen Miller.
[38:50] Speaker 1: Cautionary Tales is a production of Pushkin Industries. If you
[38:54] Speaker 1: like the show, please remember to share, rate and review.
[38:58] Speaker 1: It really does make a difference to us. And if
[39:02] Speaker 1: you want to hear it ad free and receive a
[39:05] Speaker 1: bonus audio episode, video episode and members only newsletter every month,
[39:11] Speaker 1: why not join the Cautionary Club? To sign up, head
[39:15] Speaker 1: to patreon.com slash cautionary club. That's patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com
[39:23] Speaker 1: slash cautionary club.

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