# Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – big internet vs little internet

An episode of [Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1481843603), 4 Aug 2026, 13 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/5dcefa8e-00a9-4595-8ce1-a4ab0080f142/00ea3494-e70f-4ca4-a74d-aca601166ed5/e760267f-36d7-4491-aa70-b49c0079917a/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=33f66b34-8f1c-4663-a572-aca601179799

In this hilarious prank call with Darren 'Whackhead' Simpson, the senseless survey makes a return to ask some interesting, awkward, and hilarious questions. This prank call aired on 3 August 2026. Kickstart your morning with a dose of fun, laughter, and the best feel-good tunes on Kfm Mornings! Darren, Sherlin, and Sibs are here to shake up your day with the freshest breakfast show in town. Brace yourself for the thrilling R20k Pop Quiz with Suzuki, a trip down memory lane with the Vinyl Classic, Darren’s legendary pranks, and the wildest stories from What’s Happening at the Courthouse with Rameez. Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the music, or the big wins, this is the only way to wake up right! Thank you for listening. Catch the show live on Primedia+ weekdays from 6 am to 9 am (South African time) http://bit.ly/3SQOET9 Find more from the show, and all catch‑up podcasts on Primedia+ http://bit.ly/3SQOET9 Subscribe to the Kfm 94.5 newsletters to stay up to date https://bit.ly/4y19mjc Let’s keep the conversation going online: Kfm on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kfmza Kfm on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kfmza Kfm on X: https://x.com/KFMza Kfm on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Kfm945 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: So here we go, Here we go.
[0:03] Speaker 2: Here is another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on
[0:08] Speaker 2: KFM Mornings KF Mornings.
[0:12] Speaker 1: Okay, so senseless survey. Throw your numbers at me. How
[0:17] Speaker 1: many questions will I ask this morning? Pointless? Well, no,
[0:22] Speaker 1: not pointless? Sense? Are they very important questions? Question? It's
[0:26] Speaker 1: another show? Eleven questions, eleven questions or.
[0:33] Speaker 3: He didn't sound too enthusiastic with that answer, Darren nine questions.
[0:39] Speaker 1: Nine questions. I'm not revealing anything, yeah, twelve questions, twelve questions, Yeah,
[0:48] Speaker 1: producer bread fourteen fourteen questions. Okay, listen, We've got a
[0:55] Speaker 1: prize here that I'm actually very jealous about. Yes, very jealous.
[0:59] Speaker 1: One of the prizes that we've added to the Will
[1:02] Speaker 1: of Joy that you can win you this morning is
[1:05] Speaker 1: that comes to you courtesy of KFM.
[1:08] Speaker 3: The Music Department has generously donated a prize to the.
[1:12] Speaker 1: Will of Joy. Yes, it is a Bruno Mars the
[1:15] Speaker 1: romantic vinyl album. Yes, great on its own. I'm very
[1:21] Speaker 1: happy with that. More actual music. This is a record
[1:28] Speaker 1: as well as a tote bag and a t shirt
[1:32] Speaker 1: and a poster. To this day, I don't know what
[1:35] Speaker 1: a tote bag is What is a tote bag? What
[1:39] Speaker 1: is a to have so many of the cloth tote.
[1:44] Speaker 4: Oh like a like a Woolways bag, well with a
[1:48] Speaker 4: bit more the design flap. Okay, yeah, okay, but that
[1:55] Speaker 4: same sort of ard yes, but no, okay.
[1:59] Speaker 1: So I'm it's all no closer to working out what
[2:01] Speaker 1: a tote bag is. Clock bag, Yes.
[2:04] Speaker 3: Like a clock bag like if you see people like shopping,
[2:07] Speaker 3: but not like Willis is a version of a tote bag,
[2:11] Speaker 3: but this one, I guess a bit more stylish.
[2:14] Speaker 1: Okay, yes, still left. Okay, but it doesn't. I'll go
[2:21] Speaker 1: have a look. I'll do a bit of reconnaisance for myself.
[2:24] Speaker 1: We got ticket.
[2:24] Speaker 3: This feels like very old school, you know, like radio price.
[2:28] Speaker 1: What a lovely prize. You want to go analog? Now
[2:31] Speaker 1: we're going real analog. The problem is do you have
[2:35] Speaker 1: a record play? I do? I do? Who's chilling? You
[2:42] Speaker 1: don't have a record? Is it one still in your
[2:44] Speaker 1: parents place?
[2:45] Speaker 3: A record player?
[2:46] Speaker 1: No?
[2:47] Speaker 4: No?
[2:48] Speaker 1: Sometimes you've see in there, but they don't work.
[2:51] Speaker 3: I'm so fake. I have records, but no record player. Okay,
[2:55] Speaker 3: we're just collecting out here. I don't know what the
[2:58] Speaker 3: end goal is. It record, I can get them next,
[3:01] Speaker 3: we could we could figure it out later.
[3:02] Speaker 1: I know Brad's got a sizeable collection of vinyls. Yeah,
[3:06] Speaker 1: what's your favorite? There? Favorite vinyl? Crazy question, that's impossible.
[3:12] Speaker 1: I don't know. No, I none, I have none. But
[3:19] Speaker 1: also could give you a reason to go and buy
[3:21] Speaker 1: one if you win, you know where you're gonna buy
[3:25] Speaker 1: one these days? If you do, you go to about
[3:29] Speaker 1: a good one marketplace. Okay, anyway, anyways, let's move along
[3:35] Speaker 1: to the senseless survey. Okay, random questions looking for legit answers?
[3:43] Speaker 1: Do I get them?
[3:44] Speaker 3: Do I?
[3:44] Speaker 1: Ever? He's your senseless survey phoning from the Census Bureau. Okay,
[3:54] Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna ask you a couple of questions
[3:56] Speaker 1: if you could just answer them as best as possible. Okay,
[4:00] Speaker 1: Have you ever kissed yourself in the mirror? No? When
[4:06] Speaker 1: it comes to underwear, do you prefer style or comfort?
[4:12] Speaker 1: Comfort is being a millennial knowing that some tasks require
[4:18] Speaker 1: a big Internet and some other tasks require the little Internet.
[4:23] Speaker 1: Like you don't book a flight on a phone, only
[4:26] Speaker 1: on a laptop. Yeah, ma'am, Is it true that if
[4:32] Speaker 1: your garden naked, it's the only way to get your
[4:36] Speaker 1: neighbor to build a wall at no cost to you. No,
[4:42] Speaker 1: would you describe your day as tedious, dull or boring? Tedious?
[4:51] Speaker 1: When you alone and you sneeze, do you ever bless yourself?
[4:57] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[4:58] Speaker 1: How many times a day would you say?
[4:59] Speaker 4: You do this?
[5:02] Speaker 1: Usually when I sneeze, I do this. Give me an example.
[5:10] Speaker 1: Do you think a glass sliding door should have a peephole?
[5:15] Speaker 3: No, of course we can see through through.
[5:18] Speaker 1: That love, ma'am of vapes subconsciously training people to pleasure
[5:24] Speaker 1: robots in the future. You're sick.
[5:30] Speaker 2: I was wondering about that put down question today. Don't
[5:34] Speaker 2: bring your sick internet things.
[5:36] Speaker 3: Yeah, don't bring your nasty algorithm here.
[5:43] Speaker 1: This is a society, as a.
[5:48] Speaker 3: Community.
[5:50] Speaker 1: I'm still on the analogue cigarettes, and you guys that
[5:54] Speaker 1: have moved to digital is coming for you the robots.
[5:59] Speaker 1: It's all big. It's all a bigger plan. It's all
[6:02] Speaker 1: a bigger plan.
[6:03] Speaker 3: You like that water, then flavor, don't you?
[6:09] Speaker 1: You don't well making coffee flavor? We have decorum?
[6:15] Speaker 3: Yeah, do we do? We?
[6:18] Speaker 1: Really? We are decent people.
[6:22] Speaker 2: We need a list of all of those put down questions,
[6:26] Speaker 2: A compilation of all of the put down.
[6:29] Speaker 1: Questions you need to be jailed.
[6:36] Speaker 2: I think that's one my top Yeah.
[6:40] Speaker 1: Wow, you know I always go hard on the on
[6:44] Speaker 1: the put down questions.
[6:46] Speaker 3: Africans they want to chat, you.
[6:49] Speaker 1: Know, guys. All I'm saying is is that see things
[6:55] Speaker 1: well ahead of time.
[6:56] Speaker 3: I feel so sorry for that lady.
[6:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a logical connect. I will give you that,
[7:01] Speaker 1: thank you very much. But but just just back to
[7:05] Speaker 1: back to the big Internet and little Internet, is it?
[7:07] Speaker 1: It's true? Is the certain things. There's big Internet, laptop Internet,
[7:12] Speaker 1: and there's little Internet, which is self? Are you like
[7:14] Speaker 1: a sucker path? If you booking a holiday on your phone? Crazy?
[7:20] Speaker 1: That just doesn't feel like that's a risk worth taking.
[7:25] Speaker 1: Same as you don't put WhatsApp on your laptop. You
[7:30] Speaker 1: don't WhatsApp somebody from a computer. Hold on, a lot
[7:35] Speaker 1: of people do that.
[7:36] Speaker 3: There's a time place.
[7:38] Speaker 1: You don't have a regular job. No, that's a little internet.
[7:41] Speaker 3: People with with regular jobs on the WhatsApp on the computer,
[7:46] Speaker 3: WhatsApp web.
[7:47] Speaker 1: No, say it's for work, sure, but if it's just
[7:52] Speaker 1: a friend on big Internet, no, it's very impersonal little Internet.
[7:57] Speaker 4: I think online shopping is a big Internet laptop things
[8:01] Speaker 4: for me.
[8:02] Speaker 1: If I don't like if it involves a credit card transaction.
[8:07] Speaker 1: For me, it's it's big Internet. It's computer all day long.
[8:12] Speaker 4: That makes sense, so all day concert tickets fly, same
[8:15] Speaker 4: as like your assommodation psychopath, are you doing okay?
[8:20] Speaker 1: Maybe that's a bit too hot for me. I think
[8:23] Speaker 1: like social media's little Internet. It's not big Internet, okay.
[8:29] Speaker 1: Like like a computer is for work, it's not for fun.
[8:36] Speaker 1: It's for emails, it's for spreadsheets. Don't go and put
[8:40] Speaker 1: your Instagram on me.
[8:43] Speaker 2: You knew there were so many rous.
[8:46] Speaker 1: Big Internet. Don't go like watching yourtos.
[8:49] Speaker 4: There there's a computer, big stream.
[8:53] Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? You know what I'm saying. That's
[8:58] Speaker 1: my theory for the day. Baby boy, you're on KFA Mornings.
[9:04] Speaker 1: Just got a couple of messages here dis played before, Guys.
[9:07] Speaker 1: I work at a private higher Tershire.
[9:10] Speaker 5: Institution and students actually attend the examination.
[9:16] Speaker 1: From their phone, Darren.
[9:18] Speaker 5: If you haven't office job, and if you're WhatsApp on
[9:22] Speaker 5: your desktop, it actually saves you a love a lot
[9:25] Speaker 5: of time because then you don't have to flip between
[9:28] Speaker 5: your phone and the screen.
[9:30] Speaker 1: But it's not right.
[9:31] Speaker 3: You see people with nine to five's office jobs telling
[9:35] Speaker 3: you what's up?
[9:36] Speaker 1: Okay, um, question, why is it that you've got a
[9:41] Speaker 1: Bruno Mars record to give away? Okay, why did you
[9:45] Speaker 1: pick Bruno Mars? Well, we didn't. These things are so
[9:48] Speaker 1: rare when they're coming on record. The last time I
[9:52] Speaker 1: got a brand new record was a Taylor Swift that
[9:55] Speaker 1: came in. They don't make them for everything. It's it's
[9:57] Speaker 1: like a unicorn.
[9:59] Speaker 3: I got a degre one from did and I think
[10:03] Speaker 3: it was because no one else wanted to. It's rude,
[10:06] Speaker 3: because I mean, come on, it's David, premier DJ in
[10:09] Speaker 3: the world.
[10:10] Speaker 1: Yes, it's amazing. These things are like a thousand bucks. Yeah, okay,
[10:14] Speaker 1: Will of Joy, Shane from Claimont, how's it Shane? Good morning, Darren.
[10:20] Speaker 1: Are your brother good very well? Yourself? Awesome? Man? Awesome? Okay, Shane.
[10:25] Speaker 1: How many questions did I ask in the sense of survey? Eight?
[10:29] Speaker 1: Eight questions. That's a great answer, sir. Alright, let's play
[10:32] Speaker 1: the championship rowns. You get to determine two things here, Foster,
[10:37] Speaker 1: slow left or right on the wheel of Joy. Let's
[10:41] Speaker 1: go left and fast, left and fast. Tell me do
[10:44] Speaker 1: you have a record player? I don't what my dad does,
[10:49] Speaker 1: but he's not going to really enjoy Brina Mars, I
[10:51] Speaker 1: don't think you might really. Okay, well let's see what
[10:56] Speaker 1: it lands on. It could be anything. What have we
[10:58] Speaker 1: got here? Oh okay, well it's just coming to me now.
[11:06] Speaker 1: Oh look at this, Look at this. You've got a
[11:10] Speaker 1: little holiday, Shane.
[11:14] Speaker 3: Very nice.
[11:15] Speaker 1: You've got a two nights day for four at Curiosity
[11:21] Speaker 1: in green Point, plus.
[11:23] Speaker 3: Bike rental and a Curiosity Tours experience, all to the
[11:27] Speaker 3: value of six thousand d This is a fantastic price.
[11:32] Speaker 3: What a great start to Monday.
[11:34] Speaker 2: When was when was your last holiday?
[11:37] Speaker 1: Get away? Much but working?
[11:41] Speaker 3: So you deserve and do you have do you have
[11:44] Speaker 3: people to to take who's making it into the fall?
[11:49] Speaker 3: I have a choice of people.
[11:52] Speaker 1: I must fight for it. Okay, well, well listen, you
[11:58] Speaker 1: just got to go just from clear On to greenboyt
[12:01] Speaker 1: just just around the mountain and there you go. You're
[12:02] Speaker 1: on holiday, a little staycation. Oh it's amazing, Thank you guys.
[12:07] Speaker 1: That's so cool on a Monday morning pleasure and it
[12:09] Speaker 1: is lucky when you just want to come into the
[12:12] Speaker 1: city and have dinner and maybe catch a show somewhere
[12:15] Speaker 1: and then go to a hotel and you don't have
[12:17] Speaker 1: to go all the way home. Yeah really all right, Shane,
[12:21] Speaker 1: thank you, thanks for listening, thanks for calling. Well done,
[12:24] Speaker 1: enjoy your prize. Whoever you pick to go with you,
[12:27] Speaker 1: thank you so much. Thanks guys, pleasure Shane Jeers, thank
[12:33] Speaker 1: you very much to Curiosity. As always we give you
[12:36] Speaker 1: an advert and that means that now there is a
[12:40] Speaker 1: vacancy on the wheel of joy. If you're a small
[12:42] Speaker 1: business you want to give a prize, you're welcome to
[12:45] Speaker 1: Just email LUs Mornings at KFM dot co dot z.
[12:49] Speaker 1: The hero today is Curiosity.

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