# Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what type of nut are you?

An episode of [Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1481843603), 17 Aug 2026, 12 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/5dcefa8e-00a9-4595-8ce1-a4ab0080f142/00ea3494-e70f-4ca4-a74d-aca601166ed5/0f99e51c-a1ac-4ed3-a51e-b4a9007c2447/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=33f66b34-8f1c-4663-a572-aca601179799

In this hilarious prank call with Darren 'Whackhead' Simpson, the senseless survey makes a return to ask some interesting, awkward, and hilarious questions. This prank call aired on 17 August 2026. Kickstart your morning with a dose of fun, laughter, and the best feel-good tunes on Kfm Mornings! Darren, Sherlin, and Sibs are here to shake up your day with the freshest breakfast show in town. Brace yourself for the thrilling R20k Pop Quiz with Suzuki, a trip down memory lane with the Vinyl Classic, Darren’s legendary pranks, and the wildest stories from What’s Happening at the Courthouse with Rameez. Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the music, or the big wins, this is the only way to wake up right! Thank you for listening. Catch the show live on Primedia+ weekdays from 6 am to 9 am (South African time) http://bit.ly/3SQOET9 Find more from the show, and all catch‑up podcasts on Primedia+ http://bit.ly/3SQOET9 Subscribe to the Kfm 94.5 newsletters to stay up to date https://bit.ly/4y19mjc Let’s keep the conversation going online: Kfm on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kfmza Kfm on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kfmza Kfm on X: https://x.com/KFMza Kfm on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Kfm945 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go.
[0:03] Speaker 2: Here's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings.
[0:09] Speaker 3: KFM Mornings, Okay, gather around, It's time for the very
[0:15] Speaker 3: important questions for the country, all right.
[0:20] Speaker 4: Very important, the ones that they fear to ask at
[0:24] Speaker 4: the madlunga commission. Not you though, no, so brief how
[0:28] Speaker 4: many questions will ask this morning? Shouldn't give me a gift?
[0:31] Speaker 4: People are a bit wiped out from all the mets
[0:34] Speaker 4: this morning. They said this was a this was a
[0:36] Speaker 4: bumper Monday mets.
[0:38] Speaker 2: We're not used to doing that.
[0:39] Speaker 4: I think, yeah, that one might actually move the needle.
[0:42] Speaker 4: So look, no, no, no mess, just to throw a
[0:46] Speaker 4: random number at the no addition, multiplications.
[0:49] Speaker 2: Stretch, just a number.
[0:51] Speaker 4: Yeah, nine none, welcome back, Lawrence, Okay, whatever, tim welcome.
[1:01] Speaker 4: Give us remains eight questions eight to produce a bread
[1:07] Speaker 4: none nine questions are well done.
[1:11] Speaker 2: Stop copying Rectify's deductive reason Yeah.
[1:18] Speaker 4: That that's a real big, big phrase, that hashtag deductive reasoning.
[1:27] Speaker 4: English classes tomorrow today? What what? What's what's the next subject?
[1:36] Speaker 2: Just just for like for KF mornings, Coding.
[1:43] Speaker 4: Science, I fear science science.
[1:46] Speaker 2: Where do you will you make the.
[1:47] Speaker 4: Food, then home economic.
[1:50] Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish I took homemade.
[1:52] Speaker 4: Damn it.
[1:53] Speaker 2: If I could go back homemade, sign me up.
[1:57] Speaker 1: I mean back when I was in high school, they
[1:59] Speaker 1: offered needlework, which is coming back actually crochet. Yes, you know,
[2:07] Speaker 1: doing all kinds of things, so gentlemen need work.
[2:10] Speaker 4: I took homemaking the trick.
[2:12] Speaker 2: Yeah you passed. Yeah you made a proper there.
[2:15] Speaker 4: Yeah. I made a path drop technical drawing, and I
[2:21] Speaker 4: took home made. My final was a trifle, to make
[2:24] Speaker 4: a trifle. I don't think you could fail that, the trifle.
[2:31] Speaker 4: It's impossible to fail making a trifle. No one knows.
[2:42] Speaker 2: I guess it's an a.
[2:43] Speaker 4: You put sponge, then put jelly, then sponge, sponge from scratch,
[2:51] Speaker 4: make the sponge, make the chill, make the crystals. But
[2:55] Speaker 4: once it's mixed and no one knows what it is. Okay,
[3:05] Speaker 4: we'll we'll, we'll work on the next subject um to
[3:09] Speaker 4: get somebody in there for but senseless survey. That's where
[3:13] Speaker 4: we are right now. Okay, no more takers on the
[3:16] Speaker 4: WhatsApp telephone. Let's see the very important questions plaguing this country.
[3:24] Speaker 4: Good morning, he feel I'm calling you from the senseless Bureau.
[3:30] Speaker 4: And unfortunately on your latest census for me, you didn't
[3:32] Speaker 4: fill out all the questions, so I need to go
[3:33] Speaker 4: to them right now with you. It'll take you about
[3:36] Speaker 4: thirty seconds. Okay. So if somebody says you are nuts,
[3:40] Speaker 4: what type of nut do you think you are?
[3:44] Speaker 3: Catsuring that?
[3:47] Speaker 4: Ma'am? Do you think that an hour feels a lot
[3:49] Speaker 4: longer than only four point of your day? Yes? I
[3:56] Speaker 4: should they make it so that if you don't indicate,
[4:00] Speaker 4: your car cannot turn in that direction.
[4:05] Speaker 5: Yes?
[4:06] Speaker 4: What would be your top three weapons in a food fight?
[4:11] Speaker 1: In a food fight, yeah, it will be my meat,
[4:14] Speaker 1: my potatoes, and piso and.
[4:18] Speaker 4: Piso is the hardest part of being a vegan coming
[4:22] Speaker 4: home drunk and having to eat celery.
[4:25] Speaker 2: Sticks that I'm not sure about.
[4:31] Speaker 4: Why do people always remember where they were when someone
[4:35] Speaker 4: famous was killed? Do they perhaps feel they needed an alibi?
[4:41] Speaker 1: Yes?
[4:41] Speaker 2: I think they did feel that they needed an alibi?
[4:45] Speaker 4: How many seconds on average does it take you to urinate?
[4:49] Speaker 4: How many seconds on on average.
[4:53] Speaker 5: Doesn't take me to urinate?
[4:54] Speaker 4: Yes? Ten seconds?
[5:00] Speaker 1: Man?
[5:01] Speaker 4: Do you feel like you're a mermaid but the world
[5:04] Speaker 4: treats you like a snook?
[5:09] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[5:11] Speaker 3: Snook?
[5:19] Speaker 4: I thought the put down question was going to be
[5:21] Speaker 4: the urinate.
[5:22] Speaker 2: No, but that really got me thinking.
[5:24] Speaker 3: Question.
[5:24] Speaker 4: I don't know if that's long or short.
[5:26] Speaker 2: I think that she's rushing.
[5:28] Speaker 4: That's short.
[5:28] Speaker 2: She needs to slow down. Calm down, my sister. You
[5:32] Speaker 2: don't have to be in a rush all the time.
[5:34] Speaker 1: Give yourself a minute because you think you're done after thirty,
[5:37] Speaker 1: but are you really that drop?
[5:39] Speaker 2: Yeah, especially after a certain age, that's to be mindful of.
[5:44] Speaker 4: The true is it's like a coffee percolator. Karen. I
[5:52] Speaker 4: feel like I'm just making.
[5:55] Speaker 1: Just advice because for you, because the yeah.
[6:00] Speaker 2: And yeah, it comes, you know, unexpectedly at some age. Yeah,
[6:05] Speaker 2: grip drop.
[6:06] Speaker 1: Guys sharing bathrooms with men and the way they tinkle
[6:09] Speaker 1: when they sprinkle, you're sweete wipe the city time.
[6:15] Speaker 4: That's that's in every grannies bathroom if you tinkle when
[6:20] Speaker 4: you know, yeah, a minute, should give yourself time. No, man,
[6:26] Speaker 4: that because your tank Okay, but it's not that's like
[6:30] Speaker 4: that's like training jojo do you like only go once
[6:36] Speaker 4: a month? But then you're just you wait, you know.
[6:41] Speaker 2: Why why can't you just take some time? Yeah, he's
[6:47] Speaker 2: laughing at you as you are the problem.
[6:49] Speaker 4: My sister problem a minute.
[6:52] Speaker 1: Probably thirty seconds, but then you are.
[6:55] Speaker 2: Sixty seconds in the broom.
[6:57] Speaker 5: Or you are worth take your time, my brother relaxed.
[7:02] Speaker 4: Important these questions, you see, the important debate that it stimulates, ladders.
[7:10] Speaker 2: Are and the strain across the country.
[7:12] Speaker 4: Tread ye, take your proceeds.
[7:17] Speaker 1: No, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, okay, thank you for that.
[7:20] Speaker 4: Theren that's start. You know what, it's my absolutely pleasure.
[7:24] Speaker 4: It's my absolute pleasure.
[7:27] Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, life changing.
[7:29] Speaker 4: Some would say, okay, he's gonna win. Let's go get
[7:35] Speaker 4: the party started. It's pink on KF. Morning's twenty six
[7:39] Speaker 4: minutes after eight o'clock. All right, time for the wheel
[7:43] Speaker 4: of joy. Good morning, yaku. Yes, are your brother good?
[7:52] Speaker 4: You are in Worsters here, Yes, sir, that's that. Seems
[7:58] Speaker 4: like it's a beauty of a little resort coastal town,
[8:03] Speaker 4: but it's not. It's it's yeah in the city, right yeah,
[8:07] Speaker 4: it's just just north of and just underneath the club. Gotcha,
[8:13] Speaker 4: Worcesters here. I've never heard of that place in my
[8:16] Speaker 4: life now as a resident here, Sherlin, have you heard
[8:19] Speaker 4: of Worcester? No?
[8:21] Speaker 2: I have not.
[8:23] Speaker 4: I thought.
[8:25] Speaker 2: I also can't believe that has never know.
[8:27] Speaker 4: I haven't, and it says yea near Perrol North.
[8:30] Speaker 2: It's very common. I've never heard of it. I can't
[8:33] Speaker 2: believe that you haven't. I'm happy that you did not
[8:38] Speaker 2: even foreign at all.
[8:39] Speaker 4: Okay, so yeah, yeah, yeah, Yahoo, it's right across hospital. Okay, Okay,
[8:55] Speaker 4: worster Okay, So how many questions did I ask you?
[9:02] Speaker 1: You asked nine?
[9:03] Speaker 4: That's a correct answer. Okay. Let's play for a prize
[9:09] Speaker 4: from a small business here in the Western Cape. We've
[9:11] Speaker 4: got a Bruno Mars vinyl record. Okay, yeah, look, it's
[9:23] Speaker 4: very very niche.
[9:24] Speaker 2: What else is on the wheel?
[9:25] Speaker 4: If you do win that, I won't give it to
[9:26] Speaker 4: you because it will be a waste. We've got a
[9:30] Speaker 4: dining experience for two. We've got oh, we've got voucher
[9:35] Speaker 4: to Cubana. We've got a woman now at Liberty to
[9:40] Speaker 4: from Olivia Gray.
[9:47] Speaker 2: I think the din and it really is such a
[9:51] Speaker 2: gorgeous experience, Billy of the Beast. Worth three.
[9:56] Speaker 4: We've got tickets. We've got all sorts of things. So
[9:58] Speaker 4: let's just spin and see what you get.
[10:00] Speaker 2: Good luck?
[10:01] Speaker 4: Okay, how do you want to spin it fast to slow?
[10:04] Speaker 4: Left or right? Let's go fast, left, fast and left,
[10:08] Speaker 4: Let's go Oh yes it would you believe it had
[10:24] Speaker 4: landed on the Bruno Mars record. But as I said,
[10:28] Speaker 4: if we, if we, if you win, that we will
[10:30] Speaker 4: retract it. So um, pick something, pick something, uh good,
[10:36] Speaker 4: take the dine out for two, dinut for two. It
[10:39] Speaker 4: is all yours with a one peering at Billy of
[10:44] Speaker 4: the Beast. This is estimated at three and a half
[10:47] Speaker 4: thousand ran yaku. That is one awesome dinner date proper, Yes,
[10:53] Speaker 4: fantastic restaurant.
[10:54] Speaker 2: Yeah, enjoy it.
[10:55] Speaker 5: Eh, hey, thank you guys so much.
[10:58] Speaker 4: Man, I appreciate it. Please you take someone special here. Yeah, okay, that's.
[11:07] Speaker 2: My business, but yes, someone will be taken.
[11:11] Speaker 1: On a day.
[11:11] Speaker 4: Well look you go in and enjoy your dinner at
[11:14] Speaker 4: the Belly of the Beast. All right, yacky, appreciate it.
[11:17] Speaker 4: Thank you very much, Thank you for listening. Thanks very much, sir, Cheers,
[11:24] Speaker 4: Bye bye.
[11:26] Speaker 5: Belly of the Beast is part of the Belly group
[11:29] Speaker 5: of restaurants and offers an intimate dining experience on Harrington
[11:33] Speaker 5: Street in the heart of Cape Town. There's no traditional
[11:37] Speaker 5: menu and no need to make any choices. Simply arrive.
[11:41] Speaker 5: Trust the chefs and enjoy a surprise tasting journey shape
[11:45] Speaker 5: by seasonal ingredients, South African flavors and a little bit
[11:49] Speaker 5: of nostalgia. Book your experience at Bellyofthebeast dot COSA or
[11:55] Speaker 5: follow us on Instagram at Belly of the Beast, under School,
[12:00] Speaker 5: ct KF M
[12:02] Speaker 4: Mornings with Darren Sherlett Sibbs and you

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