# Whackhead Prank: Rassie meets his match

An episode of [Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1481843603), 3 Sep 2026, 13 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/5dcefa8e-00a9-4595-8ce1-a4ab0080f142/00ea3494-e70f-4ca4-a74d-aca601166ed5/e521d605-963a-47ae-88a8-b4ba0084306e/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=33f66b34-8f1c-4663-a572-aca601179799

This Throwback Thursday, we're throwing it back to a classic prank with Darren ‘Whackhead’ Simpson that had us all in tears of laughter. This prank call aired on 3 September 2026. Kickstart your morning with a dose of fun, laughter, and the best feel-good tunes on Kfm Mornings! Darren, Sherlin, and Sibs are here to shake up your day with the freshest breakfast show in town. Brace yourself for the thrilling R20k Pop Quiz with Suzuki, a trip down memory lane with the Vinyl Classic, Darren’s legendary pranks, and the wildest stories from What’s Happening at the Courthouse with Rameez. Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the music, or the big wins, this is the only way to wake up right! Thank you for listening. Catch the show live on Primedia+ weekdays from 6 am to 9 am (South African time) http://bit.ly/3SQOET9 Find more from the show, and all catch‑up podcasts on Primedia+ http://bit.ly/3SQOET9 Subscribe to the Kfm 94.5 newsletters to stay up to date https://bit.ly/4y19mjc Let’s keep the conversation going online: Kfm on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kfmza Kfm on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kfmza Kfm on X: https://x.com/KFMza Kfm on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Kfm945 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: It's Sombra Potential on KFM Mornings, 13 minutes after 8 o'clock.
[0:05] Speaker 1: We got a prank from the archives. It's Throwback Thursday.
[0:09] Speaker 1: That's coming up next. It's on.
[0:13] Speaker 1: Rassi Erasmus. Doctor. Doctor. You pranked the doctor? This was
[0:18] Speaker 1: before he was doctor. Yeah, Doctor Coach Johannes. Johannes. Is
[0:24] Speaker 1: it Johannes? Johannes Erasmus. And after everything that he's achieved,
[0:31] Speaker 1: I actually feel bad listening to it. Do you really, Darren? No,
[0:34] Speaker 1: I do. Okay, I'm really looking forward to this prank.
[0:38] Speaker 1: It's like, you know, there's certain people that are just untouchable.
[0:41] Speaker 1: So if he'd achieved nothing, it would be fine? You'd
[0:43] Speaker 1: be fine with it? Yeah, it would be cool. Two
[0:47] Speaker 1: World Cups does that.
[0:50] Speaker 3: A lot has changed since this prank.
[0:53] Speaker 1: So we're going to park ourselves in that era. All right,
[0:56] Speaker 1: it's on next. Okay, so again, when I listened back
[1:11] Speaker 1: to this, and I'd actually forgotten about this, and people
[1:13] Speaker 1: reminded me of this prank saying, hey, you know, for
[1:16] Speaker 1: your throwback Thursday, remember when you pranked Russie? And I
[1:19] Speaker 1: actually didn't even remember. I was like, have I pranked Russie?
[1:23] Speaker 1: You forgot the Dr. Erasmus? Yeah, um, so... And I
[1:29] Speaker 1: honestly feel bad listening back to it. I'm like, no,
[1:32] Speaker 1: not Rusty. You don't have to say that, Darren.
[1:35] Speaker 4: Darren, I don't want to make enemies today.
[1:39] Speaker 1: It's fine. It's like there's people. I will never prank
[1:42] Speaker 1: my mother, my wife. I would never have pranked Nelson Mandela.
[1:47] Speaker 1: You know, Rossi Erasmus is now part of that elusive club,
[1:51] Speaker 1: exclusive club. Rossi with that, I'm a deeps. Yeah.
[1:55] Speaker 2: Wow.
[1:56] Speaker 4: I didn't know there was also a list of, you know, untouchables,
[1:59] Speaker 4: like unprankable people.
[2:01] Speaker 1: Because, you know, Rossi is just such a nice guy.
[2:04] Speaker 1: Like if you've ever met him. He is just such
[2:07] Speaker 1: the most genuine, humble human being that you'll meet. And
[2:10] Speaker 1: that's exactly why he must be pranked. He's too pure.
[2:18] Speaker 1: As an actual human, take rugby out of the equation,
[2:22] Speaker 1: you know. Like, whenever I've seen Russie, and then there's
[2:26] Speaker 1: people around, he just invites random people to his house
[2:29] Speaker 1: for a bra.
[2:30] Speaker 2: Really?
[2:31] Speaker 1: And he lives just up the road from me, Russie.
[2:34] Speaker 1: And there's always cars outside. And I'm thinking this is
[2:36] Speaker 1: just random Oaksies that have arrived for a bra. Come inside.
[2:41] Speaker 1: Come have a bra. Let's talk. Let's chat. So he's
[2:44] Speaker 1: like that. So now I'm going to take you back
[2:46] Speaker 1: to a time when Brian Habana was the global star
[2:51] Speaker 1: of rugby. Okay? The global star, the hottest property in rugby.
[2:57] Speaker 1: Remember Brian also had that tag, the most highest paid
[3:02] Speaker 1: rugby player in the world. Was this around the 2007
[3:05] Speaker 1: World Cup? No, later. This is later, later. Much later.
[3:09] Speaker 1: So Brian O'Banner started at the Lions and that's where
[3:12] Speaker 1: I got to know Brian. He was just this new
[3:14] Speaker 1: guy out of school, been in the Lions Academy and
[3:19] Speaker 1: he's playing and this Oak was just pumping in the
[3:21] Speaker 1: trials on the wing. Boom, boom, boom. You've got to
[3:23] Speaker 1: watch this guy. And then he became huge and everybody
[3:27] Speaker 1: wanted him. Then he signed a contract with the Blue
[3:29] Speaker 1: Bulls in 2005, which was a Harsh move because that's
[3:33] Speaker 1: just up the road from the Lions, right? And then
[3:36] Speaker 1: he spent four incredible years there. They won super rugby
[3:39] Speaker 1: tournaments and all that sort of stuff. Obviously, World Cup
[3:42] Speaker 1: and stuff too. 2010, big move, the big ticket. He
[3:47] Speaker 1: gets signed to Western Province Stormers. Whose coach at the time? Dr.
[3:54] Speaker 1: Rassi Erasmus. And as you know, which has been documented publicly,
[4:01] Speaker 1: is that Brian's manager was his dad. Okay, Bernie. So
[4:06] Speaker 1: Bernie's in on this prank with me, okay? And we
[4:09] Speaker 1: are phoning Rusty Erasmus. There was a little bit of
[4:12] Speaker 1: argy-bargy going back and forth here and there with this
[4:15] Speaker 1: big move. Brian's already been playing for a year at
[4:18] Speaker 1: the Stormers. Okay, at the point of this prank. So
[4:23] Speaker 1: this is like 2011.
[4:23] Speaker 3: 2010.
[4:23] Speaker 2: 2010, 2011.
[4:23] Speaker 1: So here we go. I'm playing the part of the attorney,
[4:32] Speaker 1: the actual attorney that handles Brian's contracts. Oh, serious? Yeah. Okay,
[4:37] Speaker 1: so here we go. Hello? Hello, Mr. Erasmus. It's JP
[4:44] Speaker 1: De Vries from De Vries Attorneys here, sir. I'm representing Mr.
[4:48] Speaker 1: Bernard Habana.
[4:49] Speaker 2: From where are you phoning?
[4:50] Speaker 1: I'm phoning from Pretoria, sir. I'm representing Mr. Habana.
[4:53] Speaker 2: What do you want to know about that, my friend?
[4:55] Speaker 1: I've actually got Bernie Habana sitting in my office right now, sir.
[5:00] Speaker 2: You've got who in the office, sir?
[5:02] Speaker 1: I've got Bernie Habana sitting in my office, sir.
[5:06] Speaker 2: So what's the problem now? What's wrong?
[5:10] Speaker 1: You have been taking advantage of Mr. Habana.
[5:16] Speaker 4: Okay.
[5:17] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, my friend.
[5:20] Speaker 2: But I'm speaking in terms of Mr. Urbana, so he's
[5:23] Speaker 2: more than welcome to give me a call if he
[5:25] Speaker 2: wants to chat about that. I'm not sure what you're
[5:27] Speaker 2: referring to, but he's more than welcome to give me
[5:29] Speaker 2: a call. He's got my number.
[5:31] Speaker 1: Now, hold on. Is he sitting in my office? Just
[5:33] Speaker 1: hold on. Let me just have a quick conversation with him, sir.
[5:35] Speaker 2: Is there any possibility that I can speak to him there?
[5:38] Speaker 1: You can. Just hold on. Let me just pass the
[5:41] Speaker 1: phone to him. Mr. Urbana, here's the phone.
[5:44] Speaker 2: Hello.
[5:45] Speaker 5: Hello, Bernie. Yes.
[5:47] Speaker 2: Oh, yes. How are you?
[5:55] Speaker 5: No, I believe that you reported in the paper and
[6:00] Speaker 5: you went on to KFM. I know it was in
[6:02] Speaker 5: the Cape Times of how unprofessional I was. And I've
[6:06] Speaker 5: just said to the lawyer, they must just take it
[6:08] Speaker 5: up and send the documents to yourself and the Western
[6:12] Speaker 5: Province Union.
[6:14] Speaker 2: Well, OK, it's a bit of a surprise to me.
[6:17] Speaker 2: I'm not quite sure what it's about because it definitely
[6:19] Speaker 2: didn't come out of my mouth. But, OK, I accept that.
[6:22] Speaker 2: That's the way you got us through. But, Shimon, it's
[6:24] Speaker 2: a bit of a surprise to me.
[6:26] Speaker 1: Mr. Banner, let me take you over from here. Well,
[6:29] Speaker 1: there's certain aspects of the contract which they said you
[6:32] Speaker 1: have not kept to your side of the bargain. It
[6:34] Speaker 1: was initially a gentleman's handshake agreement. And now upon reading
[6:38] Speaker 1: the contract, which I have perused through myself, there's a
[6:41] Speaker 1: lot of things that are drastically different to what was discussed.
[6:46] Speaker 2: Yes, my friend. I think we're going to tear it down.
[6:49] Speaker 2: I'm not really the person to go into those things.
[6:53] Speaker 2: My job as a coach is to chat to the
[6:54] Speaker 2: player and obviously his agent, who's in this case not
[6:58] Speaker 2: really his agent but his father, and we talk about
[7:00] Speaker 2: rugby and then after that it becomes an administrative thing
[7:04] Speaker 2: that has to be resolved and that happens between the
[7:07] Speaker 2: various parties, which is in this case Mr. Dana and
[7:10] Speaker 2: Rob Wagner.
[7:10] Speaker 1: Rob Wagner.
[7:11] Speaker 2: I think, listen, for me it's a little bit, Awkward
[7:13] Speaker 2: of a situation. I'd like to chat to Mr. Habana
[7:17] Speaker 2: and Brian tomorrow, nice and in a calm way. And
[7:19] Speaker 2: also after I've spoken to my bosses. So, yeah, I think, yeah,
[7:23] Speaker 2: for me, that's the situation.
[7:24] Speaker 1: Because one of the things in the contract which was
[7:28] Speaker 1: not stipulated here was that Brian, because he is Brian Habana,
[7:32] Speaker 1: it's like Ronaldo coming to Real Madrid, all right? Brian
[7:36] Speaker 1: does not train on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays.
[7:42] Speaker 2: Do they want that in the contract? Yeah, well, then
[7:47] Speaker 2: Brian won't play on Saturdays as well. You know, it's
[7:49] Speaker 2: as easy as that. I mean, no, man, the guy's unbelievable.
[7:52] Speaker 2: And he's like Ronaldo going to Madrid. I mean, he's
[7:55] Speaker 2: in the same league. But I mean, of course, now listen,
[7:57] Speaker 2: I've chatted about all these.
[7:59] Speaker 1: Things, man.
[7:59] Speaker 2: It's crazy the things that's going on.
[8:01] Speaker 1: But also, also at halftime, sir, it's not stipulated here
[8:06] Speaker 1: that Brian Habana will not eat Cape Oranges. He only
[8:11] Speaker 1: eats imported oranges from Spain.
[8:14] Speaker 2: He doesn't... Come on, man, please. Who's speaking now?
[8:18] Speaker 1: So, and all the players in the Western Province team
[8:21] Speaker 1: need to address Brian Habana as Mr. Habana at all times. Hey, Mr. Habana,
[8:26] Speaker 1: pass me the ball.
[8:27] Speaker 2: But also, you have to tie his boots before he
[8:32] Speaker 2: runs out on the field. Brian doesn't tie his own boots. What?
[8:46] Speaker 1: Brian Hibana, don't tie no boots.
[8:50] Speaker 2: Okay, we'll get him slip-ons, but we'll get him slip-ons.
[8:52] Speaker 2: He doesn't have to tie his boots. He can play
[8:54] Speaker 2: with slip-ons. I'll get my old backline slip-ons and bike
[8:57] Speaker 2: him play with slip-ons.
[8:59] Speaker 1: Listen, Russie. Yes. It's actually Wackhead with Bernie Hibana here.
[9:03] Speaker 1: How you doing, sir?
[9:06] Speaker 2: Go ahead, man.
[9:07] Speaker 5: Russie.
[9:09] Speaker 2: Yeah. But you can't play this, sir.
[9:13] Speaker 1: Yeah. Russie, how do you feel about the fact that
[9:20] Speaker 1: you have to tie Brian's boots?
[9:24] Speaker 2: And And Russie.
[9:53] Speaker 1: Look what he went on to do, eh? And you
[9:55] Speaker 1: were part of that story.
[9:56] Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
[10:02] Speaker 1: You know, I was actually recoiling listening to that. I
[10:06] Speaker 1: was like, no, it is Russie. No, that was a
[10:09] Speaker 1: good throwback.
[10:11] Speaker 3: Eh?
[10:11] Speaker 4: Eh? Amazing how he deals with people though And I
[10:15] Speaker 4: think The leadership is coming through strong Just 100% there
[10:19] Speaker 4: You can see Like there's no issue You can talk
[10:21] Speaker 4: everything out Everything can be resolved Yeah I think like
[10:25] Speaker 4: when I look at it In terms of football And
[10:27] Speaker 4: you look at coaches like Mourinho, Jurgen Klopp They personality
[10:31] Speaker 4: first They care about the players themselves first And then
[10:34] Speaker 4: the business comes second He strikes me as like that sort.
[10:38] Speaker 1: Of man Absolutely right Yeah And he still picks up
[10:42] Speaker 1: your calls, Darren? Still have a friendly relationship? Yeah. All
[10:46] Speaker 1: good neighbours. Russ is amazing. He really is. It's like,
[10:52] Speaker 1: as I told you on our WhatsApp group in Mar,
[10:56] Speaker 1: it's Russie Watch. Russ is running down the road. Because
[11:01] Speaker 1: Rusty's walking his dog. He's going to be at number
[11:04] Speaker 1: three in like 30 seconds. Hello, Uncle Rusty. Hello, my boy.
[11:11] Speaker 1: He greets everybody, every single person. What a man.
[11:15] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[11:16] Speaker 1: Oh, yes, Rusty in his bucky. Did you see him today? Yes,
[11:18] Speaker 1: I saw Rusty in his bucky.
[11:21] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[11:23] Speaker 1: Thanks for the property prices going up, Rusty. It's One Republic,
[11:29] Speaker 1: Need Your Love. This is KFM Mornings. One Republic, Need
[11:32] Speaker 1: Your Love on KFM Mornings. Got some messages here from
[11:39] Speaker 1: the prank this morning.
[11:40] Speaker 3: I had the privilege of chatting to Rossi about three
[11:43] Speaker 3: months ago. We were walking past Doodles and he was
[11:46] Speaker 3: sitting there just quietly.
[11:47] Speaker 1: Having a cup of coffee. And we walked up to him.
[11:50] Speaker 1: We said, if you don't mind, I just want to
[11:52] Speaker 1: shake your hand and say good morning. We love what
[11:54] Speaker 1: you do. We love what you're about. And he promptly
[11:57] Speaker 1: just said.
[11:57] Speaker 3: To us, listen, you and your wife, if you ever
[12:00] Speaker 3: see me and you don't stop to say hello, there's
[12:02] Speaker 3: going to be trouble. You always say hello to me.
[12:05] Speaker 3: And that just epitomizes the type of man and the
[12:08] Speaker 3: gentleman that he is. He is an absolute stalwart and
[12:11] Speaker 3: what a gentleman. We are so privileged to have him
[12:13] Speaker 3: as our Springbok coach.
[12:14] Speaker 1: That's for sure. Yeah, you'll hear a million of those stories.
[12:20] Speaker 1: Amazing stuff. What a great man.
[12:21] Speaker 5: Not once did he lose his temper.
[12:25] Speaker 1: No, no, professional to the end. KFM Mornings with Darren, Sherlyn,
[12:31] Speaker 1: Sibs and you.

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