# Dirty Rush: Moms Listen Up

An episode of [Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1477524410), 15 Aug 2026, 31 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/mgln.ai/e/28/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/c8c5d667-53e2-4f5d-bcb1-b32a01314a62/5361002a-2120-43e5-b226-b4a700702d26/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=59f37943-e628-4810-8c3b-ae2b00156477

If you have a daughter going through rush, this is crucial information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush The Truth about Sorority Life with
[0:04] Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia, Judice.
[0:06] Speaker 2: Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Pessler.
[0:12] Speaker 1: Hi everybody, This is Tristep and Joan and we are
[0:18] Speaker 1: here with the Dirty Rush podcast. We're actually in Tahoe
[0:22] Speaker 1: and I love these events because we get to just
[0:24] Speaker 1: podcast all day long and just chat and hang out
[0:28] Speaker 1: and talk about life.
[0:29] Speaker 2: And it's such a great way to catch up.
[0:31] Speaker 3: Like we had this community that is really important to us,
[0:34] Speaker 3: but we only get to see each other really very occasionally,
[0:37] Speaker 3: and these podcast opportunities, I hurt, are really special.
[0:40] Speaker 2: It's so much.
[0:41] Speaker 1: Really, I'm so glad you could come. This was like
[0:43] Speaker 1: a they always do the golf things. Yeah, and I
[0:48] Speaker 1: was like, I don't play golf. Could you could do
[0:51] Speaker 1: a pick a ball thing?
[0:53] Speaker 4: So we're here having to play pickable because of you.
[0:55] Speaker 1: We get to chat all things rush. So I of
[1:00] Speaker 1: course have a daughter who loves you.
[1:03] Speaker 3: I love her, but she's been like with me at
[1:06] Speaker 3: really special times.
[1:08] Speaker 2: Yes, she just because.
[1:09] Speaker 3: She's part of this bachelor community. She grew up in it,
[1:11] Speaker 3: so she gets to like experience these school things. So
[1:14] Speaker 3: she was at a date that you well, it wasn't
[1:16] Speaker 3: a date a time that you came and gave me
[1:18] Speaker 3: advice on my season, and I didn't know that she
[1:21] Speaker 3: was sitting right behind me at a cafe table and
[1:23] Speaker 3: then I turned around up like.
[1:26] Speaker 4: She's so cute.
[1:28] Speaker 1: I love her.
[1:30] Speaker 3: I love her, But you know that kind of brings
[1:32] Speaker 3: me to thinking about like she your son's going off
[1:35] Speaker 3: to college this year, right, so she's right behind him
[1:37] Speaker 3: next year him, and like I feel I don't know
[1:40] Speaker 3: if she's going to go southern school or what kind
[1:42] Speaker 3: of school she's going to do, but like Russia is
[1:43] Speaker 3: such a big part of like the beginning weeks of
[1:47] Speaker 3: college when you're like the most unsure of yourself. Do
[1:51] Speaker 3: you have any thoughts like as a mom, how you're
[1:53] Speaker 3: going to support her when she goes through this because
[1:55] Speaker 3: it's scary.
[1:55] Speaker 2: It's so scary.
[1:56] Speaker 1: So even with Max, like you know, obviously it's I
[2:00] Speaker 1: think mostly we talk about girls, but you know there's.
[2:03] Speaker 4: Fraternity to rush.
[2:04] Speaker 2: Yeah, no, like on.
[2:05] Speaker 1: The podcast, But I feel like for him, he'll be
[2:12] Speaker 1: going to college next year, yes, in couples, so he
[2:20] Speaker 1: is going to see you older and I am so excited.
[2:25] Speaker 4: I am a good boy close to Mama.
[2:27] Speaker 2: I like he will be like an hour away. I'm
[2:30] Speaker 2: just gonna pop in. Can I take you to lunch?
[2:32] Speaker 3: Firstnutes from He went to Georgetown, which is twenty minutes
[2:35] Speaker 3: from where I live.
[2:37] Speaker 1: I don't know if Max would be happy with that.
[2:39] Speaker 1: I think he wants to like go a little further away.
[2:42] Speaker 1: But I am so happy he's going to be an
[2:46] Speaker 1: hour away. And it's Ryan's all mutter and everything. So anyway,
[2:52] Speaker 1: but I'm wondering if he will rush. I don't think
[2:54] Speaker 1: he will. He is more of like hanging out with friends,
[2:58] Speaker 1: not necessarily the big party frat guy.
[3:03] Speaker 2: Yeah, but who knows how.
[3:05] Speaker 4: It smells like beer all the time exactly.
[3:07] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he'd be fine with that part.
[3:09] Speaker 1: But I think it will be interesting to see and
[3:13] Speaker 1: I and then blakes Lay next year will be I
[3:18] Speaker 1: assume going to college, and we've talked about if she
[3:23] Speaker 1: would rush. And I was in a sorority. I was
[3:25] Speaker 1: Alpha Kayomega and I still still to this day we
[3:32] Speaker 1: are on a big text thread.
[3:34] Speaker 2: It was one of our.
[3:34] Speaker 1: Sorority sister's birthdays, like two days ago, when all of
[3:38] Speaker 1: us were wishing her happy birthday and trying to make
[3:40] Speaker 1: a plan to get together they are my part of
[3:44] Speaker 1: my chosen family, you know, my sorority sisters. So I
[3:48] Speaker 1: feel like Blakesley would love that part of college. It
[3:53] Speaker 1: will depend on where she goes and the Greek system there.
[3:56] Speaker 4: Yeah, every school it's very different.
[3:57] Speaker 3: I'm so surprised when I hear about, especially recently, I've
[4:01] Speaker 3: been hearing a lot about California schools and that it's
[4:04] Speaker 3: not such a big thing. I think they have so
[4:06] Speaker 3: many other things. They've beaches and other things that maybe
[4:09] Speaker 3: create community for them because you can be outside so much. Yeah,
[4:13] Speaker 3: so I think that it just depends on where she goes.
[4:16] Speaker 2: Totally depends on where she goes.
[4:18] Speaker 1: I did have a great conversation with her the other
[4:21] Speaker 1: day because my best friend from high school and college,
[4:24] Speaker 1: we were sorority sisters, and her daughter is Blakesley's age.
[4:28] Speaker 2: We gone to like the Taylor Swift concert together.
[4:31] Speaker 1: Like they love each other, they're good friends. She just
[4:36] Speaker 1: said that she was taking her daughter to Indiana, which
[4:39] Speaker 1: is where I went, and she's like, you should come
[4:41] Speaker 1: with Blakesley, and I was like, I I have been
[4:45] Speaker 1: trying to get one of my children to go to
[4:47] Speaker 1: Indiana because I loved being a Hoosier but neither of
[4:52] Speaker 1: them have been interested until I said, let's go with
[4:55] Speaker 1: Cindy and Taylor. There you go, and she's like, oh,
[4:57] Speaker 1: I would love that. That would be so fun. I'm like,
[4:59] Speaker 1: oh my gosh, maybe maybe.
[5:02] Speaker 4: She'll actually.
[5:04] Speaker 1: Friend there.
[5:06] Speaker 3: To ask you about that, though, yes, I'm curious that
[5:09] Speaker 3: if she goes with do you think that she will
[5:13] Speaker 3: expand in the way that she should at college if
[5:16] Speaker 3: she has the safety of her best friend there.
[5:20] Speaker 1: She's my best friend from growing up and it's they're
[5:23] Speaker 1: super close. But yes, I do feel like even if
[5:26] Speaker 1: it was her best friend, I think she'd be fine.
[5:30] Speaker 1: That's how I was like. We went from high school
[5:33] Speaker 1: to college and it was fine. We expanded, We got
[5:36] Speaker 1: to meet other friends on our own, and then we
[5:39] Speaker 1: joined the sorority together because they have like a winter
[5:41] Speaker 1: rush or second semester or whatever.
[5:43] Speaker 2: I like that.
[5:44] Speaker 1: So we got to know our dorm friendriends first, and
[5:48] Speaker 1: we were in different dorms, and then we came back
[5:50] Speaker 1: together that alpha Kai.
[5:52] Speaker 2: So I feel like she would.
[5:55] Speaker 1: Be fine and it would be great for her to
[5:57] Speaker 1: have at least one friend some person college. Yes, she
[6:01] Speaker 1: does want to be in California, so it will just
[6:04] Speaker 1: depend on where she goes and the Greek system there.
[6:09] Speaker 1: So we've talked to Daisy and my old producer Hannah
[6:12] Speaker 1: both went to San Diego State and they were Alpha
[6:16] Speaker 1: Kai's which is what I was, and so like talking
[6:18] Speaker 1: to about it, like she loves Daisy and she's like, oh,
[6:24] Speaker 1: well maybe I'll be in Aphacai.
[6:25] Speaker 2: So I'm like, ye that, Oh my gosh'd be so happy.
[6:28] Speaker 1: I mean, Rush, it's fine, Like I'll be happy, like
[6:33] Speaker 1: if she's happy.
[6:34] Speaker 3: But think about your RUSH experience and like like being
[6:38] Speaker 3: chosen it's like your first like really big test in
[6:43] Speaker 3: college because for so many stories it happens like before
[6:46] Speaker 3: you actually even start in classage you know nobody and
[6:49] Speaker 3: you're in like the judgment that you feel it's so intense,
[6:53] Speaker 3: Like as a mom, how do you support a kid
[6:56] Speaker 3: through that? Well, you need to tell me straight up.
[7:00] Speaker 3: Neither one of my daughters rushed. So I have four kids,
[7:03] Speaker 3: not one of them was None of them were part
[7:06] Speaker 3: of the Greek system. My sons played a sport, so
[7:08] Speaker 3: they kind of had a community from their sports teams.
[7:11] Speaker 3: They both played sports in college, but my daughters didn't
[7:13] Speaker 3: had no interest in the Greek life.
[7:16] Speaker 1: I think honestly, it's just trying to encourage them to
[7:20] Speaker 1: be who they are, you know, be confident in who
[7:23] Speaker 1: they are. And if you if you shine your light
[7:29] Speaker 1: and are honest about the kind of person you are
[7:32] Speaker 1: and are sincere in what you say, you know, all
[7:35] Speaker 1: of those things, If you're genuine and authentic, then you're
[7:38] Speaker 1: going to find your people.
[7:39] Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think so many people think that I
[7:42] Speaker 3: got to be really fun and I got to be bright,
[7:44] Speaker 3: and I got to like show my best outfits, and like,
[7:47] Speaker 3: I mean, certainly, so much of it.
[7:49] Speaker 4: Is about your part. The way you look. That certainly
[7:52] Speaker 4: is a part.
[7:53] Speaker 3: But like, you want to find your the right tribe, right,
[7:58] Speaker 3: And it's hard because you're I want to be in
[8:01] Speaker 3: like this sorority for the most popular girls, or the
[8:05] Speaker 3: sorority for the most whatever, right, yep, And it's hard
[8:09] Speaker 3: to find the right place for yourself unless you're being
[8:12] Speaker 3: truly authentic. Yeah, you have to make sure the girls
[8:14] Speaker 3: and that sort of are like looking for people that
[8:16] Speaker 3: are like them.
[8:17] Speaker 1: Right totally, Because I mean, you can always change, you
[8:20] Speaker 1: can always not live in the house or whatever. But
[8:23] Speaker 1: I feel like just listening to your gut is what
[8:26] Speaker 1: I feel like. I tell my kids, and I will
[8:30] Speaker 1: continue to tell my kids, is listen to your gut.
[8:33] Speaker 1: If you are feeling like this, this environment and these
[8:37] Speaker 1: people make you happy, then go with your gut. If
[8:41] Speaker 1: you're thinking, I cannot wait to get out of here
[8:44] Speaker 1: and I don't want this conversation.
[8:46] Speaker 2: So uncomfortable one more minute.
[8:48] Speaker 1: Then that's telling you something, you know what I mean.
[8:50] Speaker 1: So I feel like it's just about listening to your gut,
[8:54] Speaker 1: talking about like talking with trusted people about what you're experiencing.
[9:00] Speaker 1: Maybe you talk through something or just journaling or something
[9:03] Speaker 1: like that so you can actually.
[9:04] Speaker 2: Like process, I know, because remember and go back. It's exhausting.
[9:09] Speaker 3: I mean, like those days of rush are there is
[9:12] Speaker 3: so exhausting and so much pressure on you, And I
[9:15] Speaker 3: think that you should also always remember that. I think
[9:19] Speaker 3: you think it's very one sided that they're choosing you,
[9:22] Speaker 3: you're also choosing that.
[9:23] Speaker 1: I totally agree and don't forget that you say that
[9:26] Speaker 1: because we're in this whole Bachelor Nation world in Tahoe
[9:30] Speaker 1: right now. But Bachelor is very much like that. I
[9:33] Speaker 1: have always thought it's not just the lead who is picking.
[9:37] Speaker 1: I said that on my season to the guys' same
[9:38] Speaker 1: same same. You may not like me exactly.
[9:42] Speaker 2: This is a two way road.
[9:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, if if you, I need you to be choosing
[9:48] Speaker 1: me just as much as I am choosing you.
[9:50] Speaker 3: I said that very specifically after I had done my
[9:53] Speaker 3: four hometowns. Yeah, and two of the guys on my
[9:56] Speaker 3: hometown said kind of like, I'm not sure I'm going
[9:59] Speaker 3: to get to war. You need to be at the
[10:01] Speaker 3: end of this process. Although I don't think they really
[10:02] Speaker 3: knew where I needed to be, and I wasn't necessarily
[10:05] Speaker 3: looking for an engagement. I was looking for a person
[10:07] Speaker 3: I wanted to explore outside of bachelor books. Two of
[10:11] Speaker 3: them said that. So when I did that last Rose
[10:14] Speaker 3: ceremony to go to Exotics, I said, I just want
[10:18] Speaker 3: to make sure you know that this is a two
[10:20] Speaker 3: way street. We've now spent enough time together that both
[10:22] Speaker 3: of us are making decisions, not just me, and that like,
[10:25] Speaker 3: if you really don't want to go and continue this,
[10:29] Speaker 3: you need to not accept this Rose.
[10:30] Speaker 2: I can say no, and it's the same it's the
[10:33] Speaker 2: same thing.
[10:34] Speaker 3: Yeah, And maybe and this happens that you will get
[10:38] Speaker 3: down to maybe the last few storties that you like
[10:41] Speaker 3: your preference one and you know you have your first
[10:43] Speaker 3: and second choice, and you may decide, no matter what happens,
[10:49] Speaker 3: that neither one of those were the right thing, and
[10:51] Speaker 3: you can rush again the next year.
[10:52] Speaker 2: You don't have to accept a bid.
[10:54] Speaker 1: I know people who I have I did not tons
[10:56] Speaker 1: of recommended. Really, it happened to you.
[10:58] Speaker 4: I did not accept the bed, and again the next.
[11:00] Speaker 1: Year exactly that has the same thing happened to me
[11:03] Speaker 1: with the Miami dancers.
[11:04] Speaker 2: So I tried out.
[11:05] Speaker 1: First year, didn't make it, second year didn't make it,
[11:08] Speaker 1: third year made it. It's all just keep trying. If
[11:11] Speaker 1: it's something that you want to do, then keep doing it.
[11:13] Speaker 4: Yeah, keep trying.
[11:14] Speaker 2: To feel like.
[11:16] Speaker 1: There's like this negative connotation if you don't make if
[11:19] Speaker 1: you are not in a house the first time you
[11:22] Speaker 1: go through it, that you're like a bad seed or something.
[11:25] Speaker 2: I'm like, whatever, it just didn't.
[11:26] Speaker 1: Work out for whatever reason, whatever reason knows, and it
[11:31] Speaker 1: does not mean you're a bad person or there's anything
[11:34] Speaker 1: wrong with you.
[11:35] Speaker 3: I felt really down at myself when I didn't get
[11:37] Speaker 3: the story that I really wanted to because I had
[11:38] Speaker 3: a really good friend in that story and I knew
[11:40] Speaker 3: a lot of her friends, and I'm like, how did
[11:42] Speaker 3: I not get in right, and I felt really, really,
[11:44] Speaker 3: really hurt, and so I just said, I'm not doing it.
[11:48] Speaker 4: I didn't get in the one I wanted to be in.
[11:50] Speaker 3: I got in another really good one that I had
[11:52] Speaker 3: a good friend in, but it wasn't my first choice.
[11:54] Speaker 2: Yeah, so I just.
[11:55] Speaker 4: Didn't do it.
[11:55] Speaker 3: But I spent that entire year wondering if I've done
[11:59] Speaker 3: the right thing. Oh yeah, not knowing that I was
[12:01] Speaker 3: going to get in the next year, thinking I probably
[12:04] Speaker 3: ruined my chances completely of being part of the Greek system,
[12:07] Speaker 3: which I really didn't want to be part of. I
[12:08] Speaker 3: was a computer science major, so I had a very
[12:11] Speaker 3: boring group of friends based on my major. I swear
[12:16] Speaker 3: I was like, this is not how college is supposed
[12:18] Speaker 3: to be spent in like the depths of the computer
[12:21] Speaker 3: science building with a bunch of really nerdy people, and
[12:24] Speaker 3: I was like the only female. So I had to
[12:26] Speaker 3: get Oh, I was such a nerd. I look like this,
[12:30] Speaker 3: but I was a huge nerd. I was very shy
[12:32] Speaker 3: and awkward, really bad. I minored in math. Besides that,
[12:36] Speaker 3: I was like especially nerdy, so I needed a sorority
[12:40] Speaker 3: to get to get a social life out of it.
[12:42] Speaker 3: So I felt really bad about myself when I came
[12:45] Speaker 3: out of that first year rush, but it all worked out, okay.
[13:03] Speaker 1: You know, one of the questions on our rundown is
[13:06] Speaker 1: what are a couple of things you wish you knew
[13:08] Speaker 1: as a mom to help your daughters through the rush process?
[13:11] Speaker 1: And honestly, I feel like it's also life advice, like
[13:19] Speaker 1: know who you are, be true to you and know
[13:25] Speaker 1: that you are loved and it will all work out.
[13:29] Speaker 3: And if it doesn't work out, I'm here.
[13:32] Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the whole.
[13:33] Speaker 5: Thing, because because it doesn't work out for everybody, and
[13:38] Speaker 5: you know, I know so many girls it didn't work
[13:41] Speaker 5: out for it, and it's so scary, which is why
[13:43] Speaker 5: maybe this is so stressful on the moms, right, maybe
[13:45] Speaker 5: as stressful as you as.
[13:47] Speaker 3: A mom, as it is as on your daughter, right,
[13:50] Speaker 3: Like I gotta imagine when Blake Slee's going through this,
[13:52] Speaker 3: they're gonna be a nervous wreck. Oh you want to
[13:54] Speaker 3: be because it doesn't always work out.
[13:58] Speaker 1: It doesn't have When they get their heart broken, it
[14:01] Speaker 1: just breaks your heart ten times more.
[14:04] Speaker 3: That you weren't chosen and I know how like how
[14:06] Speaker 3: much they just screwed up by not taking you yeah,
[14:08] Speaker 3: and like.
[14:08] Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what you have to say.
[14:10] Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had to deal with that with Blakesley, with
[14:13] Speaker 1: you know, if she didn't get into a dance in
[14:15] Speaker 1: her studio or whatever. You know, being like there are
[14:19] Speaker 1: there are reasons that people make certain decisions and you
[14:22] Speaker 1: might not ever know those reasons.
[14:25] Speaker 2: But just know that you're.
[14:27] Speaker 1: An amazing person and you are so loved and it's
[14:31] Speaker 1: all going to work out.
[14:32] Speaker 2: Because it's so hard.
[14:33] Speaker 3: It's hard for them to accept that, to believe it
[14:35] Speaker 3: so hard.
[14:35] Speaker 4: But we know it because we're older.
[14:37] Speaker 2: Yeah, and we know it's true.
[14:38] Speaker 1: It's true to have some hindsight into like things that
[14:42] Speaker 1: have happened, and it all works out. It really does.
[14:46] Speaker 1: Everything happens for a reason, it all works out.
[14:49] Speaker 3: I know my daughter, my oldest daughter, Erica, had a
[14:52] Speaker 3: girlfriend who went to.
[14:55] Speaker 2: Mississippi. Uh huh huge. Oh right.
[14:59] Speaker 3: If you do not get into a house as a freshman,
[15:02] Speaker 3: you are like lost, you have like no friend group.
[15:04] Speaker 2: And she didn't.
[15:05] Speaker 3: She was probably my daughter's most attractive friend, probably had
[15:10] Speaker 3: the best clothes of all the woes at her little
[15:13] Speaker 3: Catholic high school and she didn't get in and it
[15:16] Speaker 3: was very shocking.
[15:17] Speaker 4: She ended up leaving ole Miss.
[15:19] Speaker 3: She she she did not finish start there.
[15:22] Speaker 2: And you know what, that's also the message.
[15:24] Speaker 1: If it doesn't work out and you're not happy, you
[15:27] Speaker 1: can change your mind.
[15:28] Speaker 3: She ended up in New York City, like in a
[15:29] Speaker 3: fashion thing, and I was like, so much better than
[15:32] Speaker 3: old Miss. I know that she loved the idea of
[15:33] Speaker 3: Ole Miss and the big you know, football school and
[15:36] Speaker 3: the social life and she was very social.
[15:39] Speaker 2: She ended up in New York City right where she belonged.
[15:40] Speaker 1: To exactly like it's okay to change your mind if
[15:44] Speaker 1: you don't have a great year.
[15:46] Speaker 2: It is not said in totally.
[15:48] Speaker 3: I think it's a really important thing just in general.
[15:51] Speaker 3: Again we're not just talking about storties, but just talking
[15:53] Speaker 3: about the college experience. That you don't have to stay
[15:56] Speaker 3: at the college you originally pick. You know, try to kiddish.
[15:59] Speaker 3: Transfer you do. It's not a four year sentence if
[16:03] Speaker 3: you don't really like it. My oldest daughter transferred from
[16:06] Speaker 3: she went to school in Chicago and she ended up
[16:08] Speaker 3: back in DC at American University. She just didn't like
[16:12] Speaker 3: she did for a year and a half and then
[16:13] Speaker 3: eventually said this is the place for me.
[16:14] Speaker 2: It's all good.
[16:16] Speaker 1: It really truly is I've learned that. I feel like
[16:19] Speaker 1: the older I get, the more I'm like, does it
[16:21] Speaker 1: really matter where you went to college? I don't think so,
[16:24] Speaker 1: does it really matter what?
[16:25] Speaker 2: You know? What I mean, it's just.
[16:27] Speaker 3: Maybe if you went to Harvard, yeah, or you went
[16:31] Speaker 3: to the Naval Academy, right, there are a few places
[16:34] Speaker 3: that maybe make a difference in your life.
[16:36] Speaker 4: So true the rest of the colleges.
[16:37] Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not making Maybe your first job, right, might be.
[16:41] Speaker 1: Dependent on I feel like so much these days it's
[16:44] Speaker 1: just about networking. Yeah, it's like about who you know
[16:48] Speaker 1: in the contacts that you've made with AI taking over
[16:51] Speaker 1: so much of everything that I feel like it really
[16:55] Speaker 1: truly is about.
[16:57] Speaker 2: The connections, the personal connections that.
[16:59] Speaker 3: You're tru And that's hard on some kids because they, Yeah,
[17:02] Speaker 3: you got to think about, like where we are in life,
[17:04] Speaker 3: and we are in a good place.
[17:05] Speaker 4: We have friends who are successful.
[17:08] Speaker 3: There is a whole generation of kids who are coming up,
[17:11] Speaker 3: you know, and this happens not just for us, It's
[17:13] Speaker 3: been happening in our whole lives that maybe are the
[17:16] Speaker 3: first to ever go to college, right, and their parents
[17:19] Speaker 3: probably don't have friends who are college grads. You can
[17:22] Speaker 3: help these children, you know what, Like how hard it
[17:24] Speaker 3: would it be right being those kids? They're already working
[17:28] Speaker 3: like swimming upstream a little bit.
[17:30] Speaker 2: Right, I know, Yeah, I agree.
[17:33] Speaker 1: I I'm I feel very lucky that my kids can
[17:39] Speaker 1: go to college, that we can.
[17:41] Speaker 2: I mean, it's it'll.
[17:42] Speaker 1: Be a stressful time for me to pay for two colleges.
[17:46] Speaker 3: Four four three at the same time.
[17:50] Speaker 2: Literally can't.
[17:52] Speaker 1: Thank you on a firefighter salary. And I don't even
[17:55] Speaker 1: know what I am.
[17:57] Speaker 4: Going to get you.
[17:58] Speaker 3: Some big old branded that's a that's a public service
[18:01] Speaker 3: asnouncement right now? Interesting there to pay for college. So
[18:07] Speaker 3: think and look at her, give her some products.
[18:10] Speaker 1: I'm well, I was just gonna say I'll do whatever
[18:14] Speaker 1: you want. That's not.
[18:16] Speaker 3: But the bar has gotten a little lower now that
[18:19] Speaker 3: college tuition is on the table.
[18:22] Speaker 2: My eyeballs are like, wow, I know.
[18:25] Speaker 1: That is one thing I wish there needs to We
[18:27] Speaker 1: need to actually do a podcast. Here's another idea, Heather,
[18:31] Speaker 1: an idea about how to prep for when your kids
[18:36] Speaker 1: are older, because there's so many things I wish I
[18:39] Speaker 1: would have done when my kids were younger that would
[18:42] Speaker 1: set themselves up for success as they are as they
[18:46] Speaker 1: launch as they soar from my nest, like all the
[18:49] Speaker 1: things that I wish I would have known back then,
[18:53] Speaker 1: like like prep being for college and making that massive
[18:57] Speaker 1: decision and going on tours when they were in middle
[19:01] Speaker 1: school high school?
[19:03] Speaker 4: Did that?
[19:03] Speaker 2: Yes?
[19:04] Speaker 4: I did the complete opposite.
[19:06] Speaker 3: I said, applied to a bunch of colleges and we'll
[19:08] Speaker 3: see where you get in and then we'll.
[19:09] Speaker 4: Go visit them.
[19:10] Speaker 2: Well, I know a lot of people who do that too.
[19:12] Speaker 2: That was easier.
[19:13] Speaker 1: Well, I just feel like, gosh, this summer if I
[19:16] Speaker 1: had done that, but they.
[19:17] Speaker 3: Might able to. We wouldn't have had time, but they
[19:20] Speaker 3: might not have known what they wanted. I think it
[19:23] Speaker 3: like that would be like do you imagine yourself here?
[19:25] Speaker 3: And they're like, no, I imagine myself on the playground
[19:27] Speaker 3: with my friends.
[19:28] Speaker 1: No. Well, I'm saying, like going into high school like
[19:31] Speaker 1: eighth grade, but when my kid was playing lacrosse and
[19:35] Speaker 1: we were traveling or hockey and traveling and dance and
[19:39] Speaker 1: traveling and being in specific cities and not taking advantage
[19:43] Speaker 1: of just going on college campus, just walking around the
[19:46] Speaker 1: campus exactly like we don't have to do an official tour,
[19:50] Speaker 1: but just like being like, oh, like, I don't know,
[19:53] Speaker 1: do you like?
[19:53] Speaker 4: But whatever you did that a little bit though, like
[19:56] Speaker 4: when my kid was playing lacrosse and because.
[19:58] Speaker 2: We would stick to hotel, do you know what I mean?
[20:01] Speaker 1: Like if the dance competition was at the Hyatt, then
[20:05] Speaker 1: you stay at the Hyata anyway. I just feel like
[20:08] Speaker 1: for Rush, you know, she knows and he knows that
[20:12] Speaker 1: I was in the Greek system.
[20:15] Speaker 2: Ryan wasn't.
[20:16] Speaker 1: But I am still so close with my sorority sisters,
[20:19] Speaker 1: and I feel like just kind of modeling that, yeah,
[20:22] Speaker 1: you know, and sharing that part of my life with
[20:25] Speaker 1: my kids has been really important for them to know
[20:28] Speaker 1: that the Greek life was such an amazing part of
[20:33] Speaker 1: my college journey and even afterwards, I mean, please, like
[20:37] Speaker 1: I've shared about this, Ben and I went to I
[20:41] Speaker 1: went to the college national Championship because I you finally
[20:44] Speaker 1: was in it this year and I went, way, you're
[20:46] Speaker 1: doing it three sorority sisters and one of their husbands
[20:50] Speaker 1: who was in the fraternity system with us at the
[20:52] Speaker 1: same time.
[20:53] Speaker 3: So I love it that you kept your relationships going.
[20:56] Speaker 2: I didn't.
[20:57] Speaker 3: You didn't, No, I didn't, And like I feel like
[21:00] Speaker 3: kind of sad about that a little bit. I didn't
[21:02] Speaker 3: tell I was, and I have a little bit, I
[21:05] Speaker 3: didn't pledge tell it as your junior.
[21:06] Speaker 4: So I had kind of a shorter stint in.
[21:09] Speaker 3: The Greek system, but I loved having those friends. They
[21:13] Speaker 3: formed helped me form a social life in college that
[21:15] Speaker 3: I didn't have. For the first kind of a couple
[21:17] Speaker 3: of years, I had friends, but like I said, I
[21:18] Speaker 3: studied a lot and I wasn't part.
[21:20] Speaker 4: Of the Greek system.
[21:22] Speaker 3: But after I left college, I felt like it was
[21:25] Speaker 3: really hard to keep in touch with everybody. We didn't
[21:28] Speaker 3: have social media, we didn't have cell phones, right, I mean,
[21:32] Speaker 3: we didn't have cell phones at the time. So to
[21:34] Speaker 3: get on a phone and catch up with somebody and
[21:35] Speaker 3: talk to for a month, you think, oh gosh, wait,
[21:38] Speaker 3: I don't have time. And we're also all studying new jobs.
[21:41] Speaker 3: And I at that point had a serious boyfriend who
[21:44] Speaker 3: I actually married. Yeah, that was my late husband John,
[21:47] Speaker 3: And so like my need for this social group kind
[21:52] Speaker 3: of went away.
[21:53] Speaker 2: I kept in touch with some of them.
[21:55] Speaker 3: I went to probably fifty weddings in the next like
[21:57] Speaker 3: two years of Like my sorority sisters, they were all
[21:59] Speaker 3: at my wedding, but as lives as our lives got
[22:03] Speaker 3: became kind of different, Like I got married a little
[22:05] Speaker 3: younger than a lot of them. I had my first
[22:06] Speaker 3: baby before any of my sorority sisters did. My life
[22:10] Speaker 3: changed enough that I didn't like my connections kind of
[22:14] Speaker 3: like faded a little bit. And I'm only friends with
[22:16] Speaker 3: a few of them now.
[22:17] Speaker 2: And that's okay, yeah, you know what I mean.
[22:19] Speaker 4: It's the purpose at the time, and it was.
[22:21] Speaker 2: It was great.
[22:22] Speaker 4: I did go.
[22:22] Speaker 3: They invited me back this year, probably because I was
[22:25] Speaker 3: a bachelor. They invited me back a bunch of times
[22:27] Speaker 3: since being on TV, but to Founder's Day and I
[22:30] Speaker 3: went this year. I couldn't go last year, so I
[22:32] Speaker 3: went this year and I loved being there, and I
[22:34] Speaker 3: felt a sisterhood with these young girls. So it's not
[22:37] Speaker 3: like this the feeling of that you have this commonality
[22:41] Speaker 3: that you're you know, I was adulta gamma that they were.
[22:45] Speaker 3: That I felt like I was part of these dgs
[22:48] Speaker 3: for some reason, like they were this little weird, chosen family,
[22:52] Speaker 3: and these girls I don't didn't know at all, still
[22:54] Speaker 3: felt like they were my storty sisters.
[22:56] Speaker 2: Totally. Yeah, you have that. I liked it forever.
[23:13] Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm gonna go through some tips from sorority
[23:17] Speaker 1: source on Instagram. Oh, just tips two moms from a
[23:21] Speaker 1: mom who's gone through recruitment, because I feel like, for me,
[23:25] Speaker 1: I'm definitely looking for these kind of tips if Blakesley
[23:29] Speaker 1: does choose to go through recruitment. And then also I
[23:33] Speaker 1: feel like they're just like we've been saying, just good
[23:36] Speaker 1: life advice. Yeah you know, yes, Okay, So sorority source says, uh,
[23:43] Speaker 1: tips on going through recruitment Number one, listen to her.
[23:48] Speaker 1: She's calling and needs a safe space. That is what
[23:53] Speaker 1: I want for my kids all the time.
[23:56] Speaker 3: Have you ever thought that the whole pledge process or
[24:02] Speaker 3: the whole the whole process of getting in a sorority
[24:07] Speaker 3: is kind of cruel? Like it really isn't like it's
[24:11] Speaker 3: very judgy very And I would never say to like
[24:14] Speaker 3: suggest to my kids that you should go through this
[24:16] Speaker 3: kind of judgment, especially in your freshman year.
[24:18] Speaker 4: Of college when you were your fire. Yeah right, that's
[24:22] Speaker 4: what they're doing. They're going through Russia.
[24:24] Speaker 3: So we really these pieces of advice are like just
[24:28] Speaker 3: the tip of the iceberg when totally like maybe the
[24:30] Speaker 3: conversation needs to happened before you ever leave for college like, right,
[24:33] Speaker 3: this is going to be really stressful.
[24:35] Speaker 2: Yeah, you're going to feel very.
[24:36] Speaker 3: Judged by these people. But you said, like the most
[24:39] Speaker 3: important things be yourself.
[24:40] Speaker 1: Yeah, yourself, your life time, and you've got a safe
[24:44] Speaker 1: space at home. Yep. And you're right listening to them
[24:47] Speaker 1: when they're going through this, and don't put your hopes
[24:50] Speaker 1: and dreams that didn't ever come true on them.
[24:53] Speaker 2: It's their journey. Let them experience.
[24:56] Speaker 3: I want this if you want this, yes, yeah.
[24:58] Speaker 1: And number two, don't ask what did you say? If
[25:01] Speaker 1: she calls you and says a fave house cut her.
[25:03] Speaker 1: She's not asking for advice. Just be there for her.
[25:07] Speaker 2: I feel like that.
[25:08] Speaker 1: You know, when my kids have ever gone through anything hard,
[25:11] Speaker 1: it is it's so hard.
[25:13] Speaker 4: To like feel would they do that right?
[25:15] Speaker 1: Right?
[25:15] Speaker 4: What did you do?
[25:16] Speaker 2: Right?
[25:16] Speaker 1: No?
[25:17] Speaker 2: Just listen they're loss yeah, exactly three.
[25:21] Speaker 1: Know her recruitment schedule, and be ready to take a
[25:24] Speaker 1: phone call at any point during rush.
[25:26] Speaker 2: Oh gosh yeah dah.
[25:28] Speaker 1: Like that's so me answer your phone on life three
[25:32] Speaker 1: sixty being like, oh she's.
[25:34] Speaker 4: A yeah, she needs a letter for gig.
[25:39] Speaker 3: Just call me, okay, oh I will, I'll write letter.
[25:42] Speaker 2: I'm writing that down now. I have a whole list.
[25:45] Speaker 1: Number four, prepare how you will respond when people ask
[25:48] Speaker 1: about your daughter's rush. You might get asked this from
[25:51] Speaker 1: people you hardly know. At the grocery store.
[25:54] Speaker 4: Okay, that's weird.
[25:56] Speaker 2: Yeah, at the grocery store, what do you mean?
[25:58] Speaker 3: I was like, why are you asking about how my
[25:59] Speaker 3: story my daughter's unless she's one of my daughter's best
[26:02] Speaker 3: friends mothers, Yeah, you had some any business.
[26:05] Speaker 1: Unless I have like shared about it on Instagram and
[26:07] Speaker 1: people are like, oh, that's like, what's you know? I
[26:11] Speaker 1: feel like it's her process and I'll share about it
[26:13] Speaker 1: if she's you know, all scream from the rooftops, if
[26:18] Speaker 1: she's happy with her decision, yeah, and then if she's not,
[26:21] Speaker 1: it will be a very private moment just between her
[26:24] Speaker 1: and I.
[26:24] Speaker 3: And actually, and I think you know how to negotiate
[26:27] Speaker 3: those because you've been doing it her whole life hopefully.
[26:29] Speaker 1: Yeah. Last one is if you can make mid day
[26:33] Speaker 1: be there. Oh, you won't spend much time with her,
[26:36] Speaker 1: but you can get a big hug and a few pictures.
[26:38] Speaker 1: So last year, one of my good friends in Denver,
[26:41] Speaker 1: her daughter rushed at Arkansas, and I wrote her a
[26:47] Speaker 1: letter of recommendation. Their rush process is intense, and it's
[26:52] Speaker 1: a huge school, and it's intense. She got into a
[26:56] Speaker 1: great sorority. And the way that they do it the
[27:00] Speaker 1: mid day stuff, Like they're sitting in this auditorium it's
[27:03] Speaker 1: kind of like the colisseum, like a big theater, like
[27:06] Speaker 1: outdoor theater, and they give girls letters and they open
[27:12] Speaker 1: them up with all these other thousands of girls.
[27:15] Speaker 2: That's horrible. It's crazy terrible.
[27:17] Speaker 1: But anyway, her mom, like all these parents are sitting
[27:20] Speaker 1: on the like lawn behind the like auditorium or whatever
[27:25] Speaker 1: it's called, and they're taking video and whatever.
[27:28] Speaker 2: She said it was amazing.
[27:30] Speaker 4: And about the ways she didn't get well, that's.
[27:32] Speaker 2: What I mean.
[27:33] Speaker 1: I was going to say, like if she didn't get
[27:35] Speaker 1: into a sorority, then at least you can be there
[27:37] Speaker 1: for her, like just wrap her in a hug, take
[27:42] Speaker 1: her out for to go shopping or something.
[27:45] Speaker 2: I don't know, get her.
[27:47] Speaker 1: Yeah right, go sit and get your nails done done,
[27:50] Speaker 1: be massaged. I just feel like that's a great piece
[27:54] Speaker 1: of advice, is to be there for mid day if
[27:55] Speaker 1: you can't.
[27:56] Speaker 2: So, you know, it was so foreign to my parents.
[27:58] Speaker 3: My dad grew up in high in World War two
[28:01] Speaker 3: and like much as college at a teeny little college
[28:04] Speaker 3: in Indiana, by the way, and my mom went to
[28:10] Speaker 3: nursing school and she grew up in an orphanage. They like,
[28:13] Speaker 3: the concept of being in authrority was so foreign to them.
[28:17] Speaker 3: Everything I did. They're like, well, I have no idea
[28:19] Speaker 3: what you're talking about. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing rush
[28:21] Speaker 3: and they're like, what's rush? Let me look and they're like,
[28:26] Speaker 3: so you're finding girls. You're gonna pay for them to
[28:28] Speaker 3: be your friends. Like, yep, that's what we're doing. That's
[28:32] Speaker 3: what And not only that, they said, we're not paying
[28:34] Speaker 3: for it.
[28:34] Speaker 4: You can use your student loans for that. I had
[28:36] Speaker 4: to pay for my instagrament.
[28:37] Speaker 2: Oh wow.
[28:38] Speaker 4: They're like they don't get at all. No one was
[28:42] Speaker 4: paying for it, my parents.
[28:44] Speaker 1: It can be very expensive. I feel like for both
[28:50] Speaker 1: of us, I feel like we're on the same page.
[28:51] Speaker 1: If you had a daughter to go through it again,
[28:53] Speaker 1: I feel like we would be on the same page.
[28:56] Speaker 1: How involved moms should be. I feel like I want
[28:58] Speaker 1: to be there for her. I want to be there
[29:00] Speaker 1: for him if he decides to go through it, but
[29:03] Speaker 1: just to be supportive and try to not input my
[29:08] Speaker 1: like my experience onto her and just let her experience
[29:12] Speaker 1: it and help her talk through anything that she's dealing
[29:15] Speaker 1: with or talk through process like the houses if she's
[29:18] Speaker 1: trying to decide what house or he's trying to decide
[29:22] Speaker 1: what house or where to go. Just helping them process
[29:24] Speaker 1: and just being them there for them.
[29:26] Speaker 3: Is there ever a part of you that thinks I
[29:28] Speaker 3: want to give them realistic expectations and to tell them
[29:32] Speaker 3: like my stoid and get in this straight. I want
[29:34] Speaker 3: to be sure my friend's daughter who didn't get any
[29:36] Speaker 3: and she went to a big school, like I almost
[29:38] Speaker 3: feel like you want to make sure they go in.
[29:41] Speaker 2: Not expecting perfection.
[29:43] Speaker 3: Totally scary and that will be a bigger disappointment to
[29:46] Speaker 3: go in knowing all the things that could happen.
[29:49] Speaker 2: Just the great thing.
[29:51] Speaker 1: Well, I feel like we've also talked I've talked to
[29:54] Speaker 1: blasilely about people who haven't gotten into sororities and.
[29:58] Speaker 2: We're really really really.
[30:00] Speaker 1: Hoping to and they're fine, they're good, fine, they're happy.
[30:05] Speaker 4: I survived it.
[30:05] Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Okay, awesome, thanks for doing Dirty Rush with me.
[30:10] Speaker 3: I love doing Dirty Rush. Thank you, and I'll be.
[30:18] Speaker 2: Write a letter of recommendation.
[30:20] Speaker 4: I hope she's a DJ.
[30:21] Speaker 2: I know you wanted to be an Acadel.
[30:22] Speaker 1: But she would be a great little teach I love
[30:26] Speaker 1: it or Alph okay, she.
[30:30] Speaker 4: Could be a great akyo.
[30:33] Speaker 2: Thanks for listening, guys,

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