# IMPERFIX: Imposter Syndrome with Hamish Blake

An episode of [The Imperfects](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1476501557), 10 Apr 2024, 11 min.

Audio: https://enrichment.soundstack.com/4vjqq8/episode.flightcast.com/erbh2v7sd3pxkx49yb74euum.mp3

Imposter syndrome and self doubt aren’t necessarily things you think when you think of Australian comedian Hamish Blake. However when Hamish visited us for a VulnerabilTea House in season 4, that’s exactly what came up. In this episode of The IMPERFIX, we revisit a vulnerable moment where Josh shared his very real self doubt about his role on the show. This evolves into a beautiful conversation about the self doubt we all feel in the work we do, and culminates in Hamish dropping one of the greatest analogies of all time. To listen to the full episode with Hamish Blake, follow this link: https://apple.co/49gV9Tz See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] My name's Hugh.
[0:01] I'm a co-host on The Imperfects.
[0:03] I'm the son of Sri Lankan and English immigrants, and I call Australia home.
[0:07] We at The Imperfects acknowledge the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation as the traditional owners of the land on which this podcast is recorded, and we extend our respects to the elders past and present.
[0:18] I've spent much of the last decade travelling around this country sharing stories.
[0:21] In doing so, I acknowledge and pay homage to the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's rich history of storytelling.
[0:28] I also acknowledge that whenever I talk about or practice resilience, there is no greater example than the one set by the world's oldest living culture.
[0:37] Hi there.
[0:39] I'm like the imperfect.
[0:41] Oh yeah, sort of.
[0:41] But I'm a quick fix.
[0:42] Yeah, if you're in a hurry or something.
[0:44] I'm a helpful mix of archival tips from episodes past.
[0:47] You can listen to me fast.
[0:49] Da-da-da-da-da.
[0:50] Get ready for this.
[0:51] Yeah, why not?
[0:51] It won't take long.
[0:52] I'm an episode of the imperfect.
[0:54] Well, that jolly little number would suggest that it is time for the Imperfects, which is where we go into the archives, F-I-X, where you get your fix, and we choose a clip that we feel like really resonated with many people.
[1:09] And this week for the Imperfects, we've got a little-known individual called Hamish Blake.
[1:15] Hamish joined us a little while back on the podcast, and Ryan's best friend from school going way back.
[1:23] And we usually have a very good idea of what the guest will talk about or at least some kind of idea around a theme or topics that might come up.
[1:29] I didn't expect self-doubt to come up when we had Hamish Blake on.
[1:33] For me personally, it was very empowering to hear someone like Hamish, who is one of Australia's greatest ever on screen and on radio and on podcast performers.
[1:41] To hear him talk about self-doubt was really empowering.
[1:44] But it was really what Josh spoke about that really blew me away.
[1:47] Josh talked about the fact that he...
[1:48] kind of felt like he wasn't sure if he belonged, he wasn't sure if people felt like he belonged on this podcast.
[1:53] And Hamish's answer to that was just so empowering and so wonderful.
[1:57] So we really hope you enjoy this Imperfects episode with Hamish Blake talking about self-doubt.
[2:01] And of course, if you want to hear the whole episode, you can go to the link in the show notes.
[2:10] I've had self-doubt throughout this whole experience of doing the podcast.
[2:14] I've had self-doubt my whole life.
[2:15] I think the internal, it's been one of my issues is the internal monologue that I've had going on is just so different to why other people see me and probably the reality of what's going on.
[2:27] But even then, it's so, the mixture of external validation and self-doubt and self-monologue, it's such a messy area where you don't really want, because the external validation is not really what you want either.
[2:39] It's a bad drug.
[2:41] It's a real bad drug.
[2:42] And I sort of think the only useful thing you can use it for, but you have to, yeah, I feel like you've got to handle it with like radioactive gloves in the glass cube.
[2:50] You'll be careful with it, but the only thing to carefully use it for is to be like to that internal voice I think that is doubting is to be like, see, you're not right.
[3:00] Just to use it sometimes to be like, you're not always right.
[3:04] And then step away because it's certainly not the goal, but it is, you know, you can maybe use that as a perspective to be like, you know, you were telling me not to do this thing to the voice.
[3:12] Like you were trying to stop me and it wasn't the right thing for me.
[3:16] Well, I've got an example of self-doubt that's almost current to this moment is that when we've started doing this season, we've gotten fantastic people involved, people who really know what they're doing, who are professionals and amazing, who are behind a curtain about two metres away from me.
[3:32] Yeah.
[3:32] And even though this is the, what episode is this, the third episode people will be hearing, we'll probably record about eight or nine of them.
[3:39] And the first few episodes, I was quite quiet on the mic, I didn't say much.
[3:42] And my self-doubt was starting going like, Hugh and Ryan, I think, respect me and know why I'm here.
[3:49] But all these new people must be going...
[3:51] I don't quite understand.
[3:52] Josh is just here because he's Hugh's brother and he used to do the tech stuff.
[3:56] And I don't really get what he's adding to the podcast.
[3:59] Like I'm still, and this internal monologue was just going out of control.
[4:03] And then that made me not want to, then I couldn't contribute.
[4:06] I couldn't say things in the podcast because I was starting to, in my head going like,
[4:10] you're an idiot, you're offering nothing to this.
[4:13] And it's just been an interesting experience.
[4:17] And I don't know what the – I think the cure for it thus far has just been to just stay in it, in what you're doing.
[4:26] Just forget, just do whatever you can to not think about what other people think.
[4:30] Here's how far you are.
[4:31] Sorry, you're the guest.
[4:32] Sorry, this is your rap.
[4:33] No, I want to hear what you're saying.
[4:36] Well, I just, I know you actually said to me, I remember, because Bridge, our producer, is just phenomenal at what she does.
[4:43] And you said to me, the example you gave was, I think Bridge might be wondering what on earth I'm doing on here.
[4:48] But then the day before that, Bridge sent me a text message saying...
[4:53] what Josh offers this podcast, it makes it so different to anything else in any podcast.
[4:57] And it's so deep.
[4:58] It's so insightful.
[4:59] It takes interviews to the next level, which you do.
[5:01] And that's why you're on here and you're incredible at it.
[5:03] Like the bridge bridges over there, by the way, one for bridge.
[5:09] I'm still on zero.
[5:09] Everyone's racking it up.
[5:13] Did Bridget mention anything about me in that?
[5:16] Yeah.
[5:17] But it was just, Bridget and I were listening to an edit that we were doing on the Johan Hari episode where you were just, it's the most extraordinary moment of any podcast ever.
[5:26] It was amazing.
[5:26] It was.
[5:28] And she commented to that and said, that's what Josh does that other people can't do.
[5:30] And it was a beautiful message.
[5:31] And I told you that and you were genuinely surprised.
[5:35] Yeah, genuinely surprised.
[5:36] It was the opposite of what you were thinking.
[5:38] Here's where it gets tricky, I reckon.
[5:39] Now it's all becoming about me, sorry.
[5:40] But here's where it gets tricky is that that means so much to have someone like Bridge say that.
[5:48] She's so brilliant and to hear her say that is wonderful.
[5:51] But then it's like, what do you do with that information?
[5:53] You've got to sometimes, I think, use that sparingly to be like, when you talk to the person inside your head going, you can't do this, you shouldn't be here.
[6:02] Yeah.
[6:02] That's the bit where you're like, I'm not doing it so people say, great job.
[6:06] But I am able to go, here's someone I really respect and admire who says something that proves the voice wrong.
[6:13] It helps you shut up the voice a little bit to help you take that extra step, that little step, especially when you're starting out on something.
[6:19] And I would echo Bridget's thoughts.
[6:20] I think, you know, you're great on here.
[6:22] It's a really interesting example because…
[6:26] just as a snapshot of the performance, like you absolutely belong.
[6:29] You're where you're meant to be, you're doing what you're meant to do and you sound great.
[6:33] To me, I think so many people go through this.
[6:35] I feel – I've felt this in my career where I'm like, yeah, but I've only got this because of X, Y, Z.
[6:39] And I think that's just a way that our insecurities –
[6:43] try and beat us down by using this logical argument to go, you're only here because of happenstance, so you don't really deserve this.
[6:52] There's a lot of different ways our insecurities make us feel like we don't really deserve something.
[6:55] You haven't earned it.
[6:56] You haven't earned it.
[6:57] They've got metal weapons.
[6:58] But I actually think that's not evidence of anything except how you got here.
[7:02] It doesn't have anything to do with your performance.
[7:04] Yeah.
[7:04] It doesn't change what you do on air.
[7:06] Yeah, who cares how you got there.
[7:07] And who cares how you got there.
[7:08] And so it's like, yeah, you know what?
[7:09] Sometimes people get lucky.
[7:10] They walk through the right door at the right time.
[7:11] And that's fine.
[7:13] You still were doing stuff in life that exposed you to options and you took an opportunity and then you've ended up where you're meant to be.
[7:19] And you've ended up doing a thing you're great at.
[7:21] And how you got to the spot I think is irrelevant.
[7:25] But it is a thing that our brain uses to trick us a bit.
[7:28] To trick us a bit, yeah.
[7:30] It's sort of like, you know.
[7:31] If someone sees a car accident and runs in and does CPR and saves someone's life, no one's going, oh, well, yeah, you saved his life because you were walking past.
[7:38] That doesn't really count.
[7:40] That is so spot on.
[7:42] It's like, yeah, maybe you saved his life.
[7:45] Like, oh, the real heroes are the ones that knew about that was going to happen and that were, you know, the ones in the hospital way.
[7:51] for the patient you're just a fraud because you just sprinted over because you saw an opportunity but you know what I mean it doesn't change the fact that performance wise you're doing the thing that you've chosen to do and taken the risk and you know every you know I haven't heard obviously I haven't heard all the season yet because it's still in the cam but like I'm sure I was really bad
[8:09] I'm sure in every interview and stuff, it's like that's really what, you know, when you're on the mic, you're constantly making the decision.
[8:15] Do I talk now?
[8:16] Do I not talk now?
[8:17] I'm listening.
[8:17] Is this a thought worth airing?
[8:19] Is this not a thought worth airing?
[8:20] And it's all of those thousands and thousands of decisions that like that's what you're actually doing.
[8:24] It's not just because you're in the room.
[8:26] Yeah.
[8:26] I do also love the analogy of Josh walking past us and going, there's a car crash.
[8:32] These guys are filming on Nokia's.
[8:38] I don't know if this applies and we might not include it.
[8:41] It might be going on too long.
[8:42] But on the self-doubt and that voice, my psychologist did this thing with me.
[8:48] After years and years of going, she tried this new technique where she asked me to like visualize, basically close my eyes and visualize the voice.
[8:56] Like what does it look like and describe who it is.
[9:00] Yeah.
[9:00] Like what is that?
[9:01] The critical voice.
[9:01] That critical self-doubting voice.
[9:04] And she was like, I had to basically describe who they were, like describe what kind of person they are, what they look like, what their behavior is like.
[9:13] Went in this really deep kind of, it was a very strange experience the more we did it because I could really pin down who this person was and why they were doing it.
[9:21] And I ended up in tears in this session because we made this realization that all this voice wanted to do was to protect me and save me from experiencing pain.
[9:34] And when I realized that that's what it was doing, it was this amazingly freeing experience of like, oh, you're trying to protect yourself.
[9:41] Yeah.
[9:42] So give yourself a break.
[9:44] And I found it incredibly freeing to be able to go, oh, okay.
[9:47] Well, if it's trying to protect me, I can say to it, I don't need your help today.
[9:51] It really changes the context, doesn't it?
[9:53] Yeah.
[9:53] It's just a poorly worded helpful voice.
[9:57] Yeah, exactly.
[9:58] It's just a pretty shit helper.
[9:59] Yeah.
[10:00] I don't need your help.
[10:01] I got this.
[10:02] Yeah, wow.
[10:06] The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment.
[10:13] The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you're struggling, please see a healthcare professional or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
[10:21] And as always, if you'd like to hear more from this conversation, you can find a link to the full episode in the show notes.

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